How to choose a right solution. How to make a decision if you doubt? Carteste Square for decision making, Water Glass Methods Jose Silva and other proven, working techniques

Many solutions in our lives have uncertain results. What to buy: bike or subscription to the gym? Having bought a bike, you can ride when and where it wanted. By purchasing a subscription, you can do on simulators and swim in the pool. It seems everything is clear, but why is it so difficult and sometimes even painfully make a decision?

The fact is that when we make a decision, for example, with two versions, then on the one hand something is acquired, on the other, we lose. Having bought a bicycle, we will not be able to go to the pool and on the simulators. And after the purchase of a subscription, we lose the opportunity to ride in the evenings with friends by bike and get a lot of pleasure related to this.

Therefore, even when we accept the faithful, as it seems to us, the solution, then experience pain. But in many cases the problem is inflated. For example, the flour of the morning choice - tea or coffee - sudden from the finger. Both options are good. You can drink tea, forget about coffee and get a maximum of pleasure. For some, it is obvious, the other will be in doubt and spend the mental energy to choose from where it is not necessary to do it. So, why sometimes it does not matter, what decision to take? Because it does not affect the quality of life and is unlikely to negatively affect the future. If you drink tea in the morning, and not coffee, it does not matter (possible damage to coffee will be left aside).

Therefore, the first thing is to ask yourself the question: is it really something important or can you choose at random one option and not worry? Many successful businessmenwho take tens of decisions per day, know about it, so they try to remove the burden of everyday worries. They go to the same clothing, and in the morning they eat the same breakfast. The usual person brings himself to stress at the beginning of the day, because for him clothes and breakfast are of great importance. But actually it is not. Stop worrying about nonsense.

What is really important is important solutions:

Where to go to learn?
Which company go to work?
What product start producing and what to refuse?
Do I need to learn Chinese?
Which house to buy?
What skills to develop?

The consequences of these decisions are important. They allow you to lose or earn money, spoil or establish relationships with loved ones, lead to growth or degradation.

Find out what questions are important for you, and which are not. And then read on.

The decision-making process

Defining the problem, tasks or possibilities. Problem: to which dentist go treat teeth. Opportunity: What will happen more importantly in five years - knowledge of English or Chinese?
Creating an array of possible options. You can find a few dental clinics on the Internet, and then also ask familiar.
Estimation of the costs and benefits associated with each option. On the one hand, even the treatment in a low-cost clinic costs a penny, on the other hand, it is still necessary to be treated, because then you will be forced to pay ten times more.
Choosing a solution.
Implement the selected solution.
Evaluation of the impact of the solution and change it if necessary.

Perhaps not in every case of your life you will pass through all six stages and not always consistently. But even difficulties with decision making should not arise a lot, because there are step by step algorithm. Although everything is usually not so simple in life. So what's the difficulty then?

Why sometimes make a decision so hard

Some of your solutions are so simple that you take them without thinking. But complex or ambiguous require more attention. They include:

Uncertainty: Many facts and variables can be unknown.
Complexity: Many interrelated factors.
The effects of high risk: The impact of solutions to your fate and the fate of other people can be significant.
Alternatives: various alternatives may occur, each of which has its own set of advantages, uncertainties and consequences.
Interpersonal problems: You need to predict how other people will react to your decision.

In the head, all this swears in a second, so you do not even have time to understand why this is a tight inner feeling. One thing: than higher solutionThe longer you need to highlight the thinking.

How to learn to make decisions

Before moving on to solving specific problem issues, I need to work out general mechanism Taking suspended decisions. It consists of three parts:

What you focus on. What you think about, forms you as a person and changes. Many people are concentrated every day on what they cannot control. You can make decisions on the basis of what you have what you can influence.
Take the decision not to focus on what does not work. It sounds strange, but this is exactly what the majority comes. We are so accustomed to pass all the doubt that we do not notice how instead of working solutions first turn out of work
Evaluate situations. Life is changing every day, you are changing, people around and the situation as a whole. Some problems may not be problems at all.

But this is all the theory. IN real life We thoughts with specific categories and are often limited in choosing many factors. Here are some practical requirements for the process of reflection, which will allow any situation to consider more carefully and soberly.

Take a solution quickly

Yes, in this case it may not be the best. However, even a bad solution is better than thinking, tightening for several days, months or years. People during this time are psychologically replaced with the fact that no decision will be taken.

Successful, great people often make decisions quickly. They know that even the greatest undertakings can destroy doubts and fears. They change and correct their plans in the course of the case, study in the process.

If you hate your work, then why not decide right now to change it? Do not change, namely, make a decision. This means that you begin to look for another job, raise your skills and cook the soil. But accepting the decision now, there is no need to pull.

Often we think about such a chain: Collection of information - Analysis - Evaluation - Information Collection - Analysis - Evaluation. And so on to infinity. Take the decision (you also know that you need to change hateful work) right now and only after that, look for information that will help in the process of realization of the planned one.

The more you expect, the more you suffer. It is perfectly understood by the importance of making a decision, but do not accept it.

Find the decision criterion

Do I need to take it? In many cases, everything is too obvious, in some - no. What are your criteria? For example:

What is good for me.
What is good for my loved ones.
What will bring money.
What will bring experience and knowledge.

After quick decision making, collect information

Again: Do not confuse and change the first and third points. If you need to study, accept the solution here and now, and only then start collecting information, search for books, tutorials are recorded on courses (all this can be made a minute later).

When the decision is made and the goal is set, collect all the necessary information, pre-put forward a condition: I will do the next an important step In this direction through so many time. For example, you decided to study english In the morning, they gave themselves for four hours to find all the necessary information, and at six o'clock in the evening they decided to call several English schools and choose for themselves the best time, distance, remoteness, etc.

Analyze past solutions

It is important to understand two things:

Why did you take good solutions?
Why did you take a bad solution in the past?

What happened then? What principles did you guide? Perhaps when you make solutions quickly and intuitively, they turn out to be the best in your life. Then make the same in the future.

Create a spreadsheet

It is very simple, vividly and efficiently: all your choice options on one screen with your ratings, pluses and cons. This allows you to be immersed in details or look at the overall picture - depending on the purpose.

Tony Robbins method

You can avoid possible deficiencies in making decisions when you have a system that will help crush options and anticipate weak spots. It is called OOC / EMR. This is a decision method from Tony Robbins. It applies four rules to its procession itself.

Rule first: all important or difficult solutions should be accepted on paper.

Do not do it in your head. So you end up focusing on the same things, not reaching any permission. Scrolling of thoughts creates pressure and leads to stress.

Remember yourself when the last time I took an important decision. Rather, they did not want to take it. Months and even years passed, and it was not shifted from the dead point. If you took a handle and paper, the decision could be taken in one hour.

The rule is the second: absolutely clearly understand what you need, why you want it and how it will be possible to know that you have reached it.

You must clearly understand what you want, what is the goal. Even if it is absolutely clear what exactly you want, you can forget the reasons for which you want. Why is that make sure you follow your decision. This is where it appears.

Get as much information as possible about what you want, why do you need it and how you learn when you get what you need.

Rule Third: Decisions are based on probability.

Do not wait for complete and absolute confidence. In most cases, you will never get it. So, must give it to themselves.

No one can clearly say what solutions will be consequences. Yes, you need to collect information and analyze it, but no one can give 100% warranty.

Rule Fourth: Decision making is a clarification.

In most cases, there may be several results. Find out what decision will bring the maximum benefit in all areas of your life. Sometimes the benefits arise where you could not think.

So we got to the decision-making process. Robbins calls it an intricate abbreviation OOS / EMR. It consists of the following steps:

Results.
Selection options.
Effects.
Evaluation options.
Reduced damage.
Decision.

Consider each step separately.

results

Tony Robbins begins with determining the results that it wants to achieve. He sets the following questions:

What are the results?
What exactly do I want to achieve?

It helps to create clarity regarding the results, as well as place them on priorities. After all, there may be a lot of them, and they can be completely different.

Robbins: "First reflections and only then - answers."

Selection options

It records all the options, even those that may seem strange. Why? Tony says that there is a principle: "One option is not a choice. Two options - dilemma. Three options - a choice. "

It does not matter if you like these some options, just write them down.

Effects

Robbins tries to find out the consequences of each of the options that he invented, and to each asks the following questions:

What are the advantages and disadvantages of each option?
What will I get from each option?
What will it cost me?

Evaluation options

For each option or select Tony Robbins sets the following questions:

What results are affected? (this is what we discussed in the first paragraph)
How critical are the shortcomings and are the benefits on a scale from 1 to 10?
What is the probability of 0 to 100%, that a negative or positive consequence will arise?
What emotional benefit or consequence will arise if I choose this option?

Robbins uses this stage to eliminate some options from the list.

Reduced damage

Then he considers the consequences of disadvantages of each of the remaining options. For each Tony Robbins conducts brainstorming alternative ways elimination or reduced damage.

You can lean to one option, but at the same time know that there are cons. For this, this stage is needed: Think about how to reduce their influence.

Decision

Robbins chooses the option that ensures maximum confidence in achieving the desired results and needs based on the most likely consequences.

It offers the following steps at this stage:

Choose the best option.
Complete it so that it is guaranteed to work.
Decide for yourself, regardless of whether the option will work 100% or not, it will lead to victory (in this way you can stop tormenting thoughts that choosing one option, we lose another).
Develop a plan for implementation.
Take action.

Books

You are unlikely to learn how to make decisions by studying a pair of methods. This is a process in length in years. The following books will help you speed up.

"Solving problems on special service techniques" Morgan Jones.
"Refraction. Science to see otherwise "Bo Lotto.
"Lie guide. Critical thinking In the era of a post office "Daniel Levitin.
"How not to make mistakes. The power of mathematical thinking "Jordan Ellenberg.
"Why we are mistaken. Thoughtful traps in action "Joseph Hallinan.
"Thinking traps. How to make decisions that you will not regret "Chip Xiz and Dan Hiz.
"The territory of delusions. What errors are committing smart people"Rolf Vobelley.
"Proactive thinking. How simple questions may be cool to change your work and life. "John Miller.
"Mental traps at work" Mark Gowstone.

This article sheds light only into part of such a complex process as decision making. You can learn more detailed about it on our free course "".

We make decisions all the time. Sometimes they can accumulate more than a day, and they will all have certain consequences. This means only one thing: the quality of solutions determines the quality of our life. When you achieve skill in this business, you will achieve and success in many areas. We wish you good luck!

When people are divided into worst decisions made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in the attack of instinctive emotions:, passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z acted in life, which would cancel the decisions taken.

But we are not a slave of your mood. Instinctive emotions have a property to dull or go to no. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends in the case when it is necessary to take an important decision, it is better to go to bed. Good adviceBy the way. He will not hurt to take note! Although for many solutions of one sleep is not enough. Need a special strategy.

One of effective toolswhich we would like to offer you strategy to achieve success at work and in life from Susy Welch (Suzy Welch) - the former editor-in-chief of Harvard Business Review, a popular author, telecommmists and a journalist. It is called 10/10/10 And it implies decision-making through the prism of three different time frames:

How will you treat it 10 minutes later?
What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
What will be your reaction to it in 10 years?

Concentrating its attention in these timing, we are distant by some distance from the problem of making an important decision.

And now consider the action of this rule on the example.

Situation: Veronica has a kirill guy. They have already found 9 months, but their relationship is difficult to call ideal. Veronica claims that Cyril - wonderful man, and in many ways he is exactly the one she was looking for throughout life. However, it is very worried that their relationships are not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. The infinite number of time is to develop relationships with Cyril, which is under 40, she does not have. For these 9 months, she never met with the daughter of Cyril from the first marriage, and in their pair did not sound the cherished "I love you" with anyone or the other side.

The divorce with his wife was terrible. After that, Kirill decided to avoid serious relationships. In addition, he holds daughter aside from his personal life. Veronica understands that he hurts him, but she is also offensive, that such an important part of her beloved closed for her.

Veronica knows that Kirill does not like to rush with decision-making. But should she choose a step itself and say "I love you" first?

The girl was advised to take advantage of the rules 10/10/10, and that's what came out of it. Veronica was asked to imagine, as if she had to decide right now - whether Kirill was recognized in love on a weekend or not.

Question 1: How do you react to this solution after 10 minutes?

Answer: "I think I would have worried, but at the same time proud of himself, which risked and said it first."

Question 2: What would you think about your decision if 10 months have passed?

Answer: "I don't think I will regret it after 10 months. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not risk, then does not drink champagne! "

Question 3: How do you react to your decision 10 years later?

Answer: "Regardless of how Cyril reacts, after 10 years the decision to admit to love is unlikely to be important. By this time, either we will be happy together, or I will be in a relationship with someone else. "

Note, the rule 10/10/10 works! As a result, we have pretty a simple solution:

Veronica should take the initiative. She will be proud of himself if it will do it, and sincerely believes that he will not regret the deed, even if nothing happens with Cyril. But without a conscious analysis of the situation on the rule 10/10/10, the adoption of an important decision seemed extremely difficult. Short-term emotions - fear, nervousness and fear of being rejected - were distracting and restraining factors.

What happened to Veronica after, - you probably ask you. She still said "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in a suspended state. Kirill did not admit to her love. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her that he just needs a little more time to overcome his and confess to the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together reach 80%.

Eventually

Rule 10/10/10 helps you win on the emotional field of the game. The feelings you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem saturated and sharp, and the future - on the contrary, vague. Therefore, emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

Strategy 10/10/10 makes you change the angle of my vision: consider the moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point that you are looking in the present.

This method allows you to submit your short-term emotions in the future. It is not at all about what you must ignore them. Often they even help to get what you wish in a particular situation. But you do not have to allow emotions to prevail.

Remember the contrast of emotions is necessary not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with the boss, you allow emotions to take over you. If you present the opportunity to hold a conversation, after 10 minutes you will also be nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that we decided on this conversation? Greately sigh? Or will you feel pride?

And what if you want to encourage the work of a great employee and are going to offer him an increase: whether you will doubt the correctness of your decision after 10 minutes, will you regret your deed 10 months (suddenly other employees feel deprived), and whether it will be increase to have any value for your business after 10 years?

As you can see short-term emotions do not always bring harm. Rule 10/10/10 suggests that the consideration of emotions in the long term is not the only true. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot stand at the head of the table when you take important and responsible decisions.

Today I will tell you what methods will allow you to accept correct solution And learn how to make decisions in general. This article will be based not only on my experience, but also on the decision-making methodology set forth in the famous book Chip Chip and Dina Chia - ". This technique helps to make an effective choice in business, in career and in education. Here I designate the main items of this technique, and I will also talk about what helps me personally in finding the right decisions.

Method 1 - Avoid the "narrow frames"

Often we fall into the trap of the "narrow frames" when our thinking reduces all varieties possible solutions Problems only in two options: "Yes, or not", "be or not to be". "I have to divorce with my husband or not?" "Should I buy this particularly expensive car or ride on the subway?" "Go to my party or stay at home?"

When we choose only between "Yes, or not," in fact, we are stuck only in the framework of one alternative (for example. Gap with husband, purchase) and ignore others. But, maybe, in addition to parting with a partner and return to the status of the CVO in your relationship there are other options. For example, try, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.

If you decide not to buy an expensive car on credit, this does not mean that your only remaining alternative will be tedious trips to the subway. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But perhaps the most correct choice will lie in the other plane of solutions. Maybe it will be more convenient and more profitable to remove the accommodation closer to work. Or change the work, less remote from the house.

Alternative to the choice of between different breeds Cats or dogs may be a trip to the nursery and the choice of a homeless pet that you will like most.

It seems obvious tactics of reflection over the choice, but, nevertheless, many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to dichotomy "yes" or "no". We are instinctively to this strive, because it is much easier to consider the problem only in black and white tones, and not in all the variety. But it turns out that we only create difficulties in this approach.

We are also often trying to consider the choice between the two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we do not notice that both of these extremes can be implemented at the same time and actually choose something at all is not at all necessary.

Method 2 - Expand the selection

This method is the development of the previous method. Many of us are known such situations where we want to make an important purchase, for example, to buy an apartment. We arrive in the first apartments, and we enchants them appearanceAnd the realtor offers "profitable" terms of the transaction and provokes us, thereby make a quick solution. And we already think about what kind of apartment to choose, but about Tom "buying whether it is this apartment or not to buy."

Do not hurry. It is better to watch five apartments, instead of acquiring the first thing. First, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. There may be better suggestions. Secondly, the time you will spend on the inspection of the rest of the proposals "will cool" your instantaneous emotions. And the momentary emotions always interfere right choice. While you are under their influence, you can lose sight of some obvious disadvantages of the apartments you like, but when time will passYou can more clearly see the whole picture.

We are too tied to the goal for which our thinking is initially configured. And it forms strong inertness in decision-making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and what is contrary to, we ignore. For example, you from school wanted to enter a specific university. A few years later you failed on the entrance exams. And now you think about getting hard to prepare and again try happiness in a year. All the arguments of friends in favor of choosing another university you will check, as you used to think that your choice is the best.

But what if for those for several years that you needed to graduate from school, the situation has changed and the university in which you want to do, no longer like that? Suddenly appeared new promising educational institutions? Do not bind to your choice and spend comparative analysis. Expand your choice! Check out the curriculum and teaching staff in other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?

Less to be attached to one alternative to you will help you will help the auxiliary method for the disappearance of options.

Method of disappearance options

Imagine that the alternative that you chose, for some reason it is impossible to choose. For example, the university in which you want to do, suppose closed. And now think what you would do in case if it really happened. And start doing it. Probably, you would have to consider other possibilities and, probably, during this process, you will find how many excellent options you missed due to the fact that they looked at some one alternative.

Method 3 - grade as much information as possible.

Authors, Chip and Dean Xiz are surprised by the fact that for many people is a matterful practice to get acquainted with the reviews before you buy electronic technique, Book hotels or choose hairdressers. But at the same time, if it comes to the choice of work or university, the smaller number of people uses this wonderful practice that helps produce a lot of valuable information.

Before deciding on employment to a specific company, you can explore the reviews of the people who worked in it. It is better than relying only to the information that HR provides you and the future boss.

Brothers HIZ offer to ask one question for this in an interview.

"Who worked for posts before me? What is his name, and how can I contact him? "

There is nothing wrong to try to get information from the first mouth. When I found out about this practice, I was surprised that, despite obvious advantages This approach, I never occurred to me to use it during my job search!

Perhaps you will not always be given the contacts of these people. In this case, you will help get information practice of leading issues.

This practice is good because it allows you to get information from the one who reluctantly wants to share it.

At the interview:

Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you can promise brilliant perspectives and good conditions Labor), ask more direct questions:

"How many people quit from this position over the past three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?"
Such a formulation will help you get more reliable information about future work.

In the shop:

One study showed that when sellers consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, asked the question: "Tell something about this iPod model" only 8% of them reported on his problems. But when they had to answer the question: "What are his problems?" 90% of all managers honestly reported the shortcomings of this model.

Method 4 - Get rid of momentary emotions

As I wrote above, instant emotions can hurt much in making decisions. They make you lose sight of something important and concentrated on trifles, which later will be insignificant.

Many of us meet with the severe results of impulsive and unconscious choice, realizing that during the decision, we were blinded by emotions and have not seen a complete picture.

It may touch the fast marriage or impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.

The first way to get rid of emotions - 10/10/10

This method allows you to go beyond a narrow perspective that instantaneous pulses are installed. It is that before making a decision to ask himself three questions:

How do I react to this solution in 10 minutes?
And after 10 months?
What will happen in 10 years?

For example, you fell in love with another man and want to throw children and get away from her husband. If you accept this decision, what will you think about it in 10 minutes? Probably, you will be raging the Euphoria of Love and New Life! Of course, you will not regret your decision.

But after 10 months, passion and love will quote, (it always happens,) and it is possible when the paddle euphoria disappears, causing your eyes, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, the bitter sense of loss of something expensive will begin to manifest. You may find that what you used to perceive as a given, in fact was the advantage of your previous relationship. And this is no longer in your new relationships.

It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after when the fervor of love passes, you will understand that they came to the same, from what they fled.

Of course, I do not say that it will be so for everyone. For many relationships better decision There will be a divorce. But, nevertheless, I am confident that many divorces occurs impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it is better to weigh everything well and distance themselves from the vague of Euphoria in anticipation of change.

The second way to get rid of emotions - breathe

Before committing some kind an important choice, Give yourself no big time out. Make 10 calm full and slow breaths and exhale equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts inhale - 6 slow counts exhale. And so 10 cycles.

It will calm you well and cool the dust. Well, you still want to order this unnecessary dear bauble, just because you saw the same colleague?

This method can be combined with the previous one. First breathe, and then apply 10/10/10.

Third way to get rid of emotions - "Ideal I"

I came up with this method when I could not accept one solution. And he helped me very much (I wrote about him in more detail in the article ""). Think what would make your "perfect me" or whatever the ideal event development scenario with existing restrictions. For example, you think, go today on a drink or stay with your wife and children at home. Many factors in decision making will compete with each other: a sense of duty and a momentous desire to drink, care for children and health with the need to have fun.

What to do? Think what would be the perfect option. Just stay realistic. I understand that Ideally, you would like to be divided in two, so that one of your part remains at home, and the other came off at a party, while alcohol would not bring her any harm and hangover the next day. But it does not happen. Taking into account the specified restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home, because last week you promised to drink less often. You understand that your wife rarely sees you and if you won't go to a party, the next day you will feel better.

No need to think about what you want more. Because, if you want something, it does not mean that you need it. Desires are inconsistent and fighting. Now you want one. But tomorrow you can regret that I was indulgence with your instantaneous desire. Think of what option would be correct. What would make perfect husband?

Fourth way to get rid of emotions - what would you advise to a friend?

Imagine that you want to change the work on a more comfortable and highly paid, but you are afraid of change, get disappointed, do not want to bring your colleagues, worry about what the boss will think about you in connection with your departure. Because of this, you can not decide on this.

But that if this choice is not in front of you, but before your friend. What would you advise him? Surely, if he shared with you fears at the expense of disappointments and the opinion of the chief, you would answer him: "Yes, you throw you think about any nonsense! Do what is better for you. "

Surely, many of you noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends to solve some situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about solving another person, we only look at the most essential. But when it comes to ourselves, it immediately pops up a lot of things that we attach an exaggerated value. Therefore, to get rid of the influence of these insignificant things on your decision, think that you would advise your friend if he was in such a situation.

Fifth way to get rid of emotions - just wait

Remember, the rapid solution is very often bad decisionbecause it can be accepted under the action of emotions. You should not listen every time to impulsive desires. In some cases, it makes sense to simply wait and not perform spontaneous selection. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, quite intensive and with them it is difficult to cope. On the other hand, they can only wait for some time, and this desire will disappear. You will understand that what seemed the subject of the first need a couple of hours ago, you really do not need.

Personally, I love to give someone to "mature" in my head, give him time, provided that I have nowhere to hurry. This does not mean that I think about him all the time. I can engage in some kind of affairs, and suddenly the solution to itself appear. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but I do not spend it to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.

For several days in my head, you can "fabric" parts that can change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was faithful thought, Only now, I will sure about that.

Sixth way to get rid of emotions - save the concentration

This method is suitable in situations when it is necessary to make quick decisions, being under psychological pressure, for example, at the interview.

I am like a poker lover, I know how important it is to maintain a concentration so as not to succumb to instantaneous emotions. Poker is in principle a game of making decisions. I noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far from the game between distribution, I do unreasonable and emotional actions, when a queue becomes a bet comes to me. But if I focus on the game, even when I'm not in the hand, for example, just watching opponents, it allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around and by me, think only about the game and not let any thoughts and emotions in brain.

Therefore, for example, during the interview, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything you say. Do not let me in the head of extraneous thoughts, it seems: "What did you think about me?", "I did not say too much?" Think about it later. But so far, be here and now. It will help you make the right choice.

Method 10 - when all these methods should not be applied

If you look at all these methods, it seems that decision making is a very complex process. In fact, these ways are designed to help you accept the choice in which every alternative is determined by the set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no shortcomings? What if you don't lose anything if you choose some option?

Then forget about all these tips, act and see what will happen.

For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are alone and just look for a couple. Stop scrolling in the head "For" and "Against". You will not lose anything if you come up and get to know. This is an absolutely simple solution.

Such situations exception. The more you think and weigh the decisions, the stronger the uncertainty and the chances of missing the opportunity. Therefore, where there is no choice for you to do anything, think less and act!

Conclusion - a little about intuition

The methods that I said are attempts to formalize decision-making. Posted by clarity and clarity to this process. But I do not want to remove the role of intuition.

These methods should not confuse you, instilling the illusory confidence in you that any solutions can be impassable and dry analysis. This is not true. Often the choice is characterized by the lack of complete information And you will have to come to terms with the fact that in many situations it is impossible to know in advance with 100% confidence, which decision will be better. Sometimes you just need to choose something, and then it will be clear whether you made the choice or not.

Therefore, you need to use intuition, instead of waiting for your methods to give you an unequivocal forecast of the correctness of this or that alternative. But at the same time, it is impossible to overestimate its role and to rely on its "Nutro". For this, there is a formalized approach that is designed to set up the balance between your mind and feelings, logic and intuition. In the right balance between these things and is the art of decision-making!

4 227 0 Hello! In this article we will tell how to make the right decision if you doubt.

Every day we accept several decisions on the day starting from choosing a menu for breakfast and ending with a circle of communication. Most of our solutions are harmless and cannot change life dramatically, but there are also those on which all our future life depends completely. In difficult situations, we often begin to doubt yourself and the correctness of our decision, we are moving between several options and lose a lot of time and energy instead of starting to act.

How to take the right solution in life

Decision making is a real science. However, there is nothing supernatural in it, quickly and correctly learn how to make solutions every person. It is enough to get courage, take responsibility for your life in own hands And adhere to several rules and methods.

There are several decision-making paths:

heuristic (based on feelings and intuition)
algorithm (based on suspended solutions, learning information and analysis).

Ideally, harmony should be between rational thinking and intuition.

In addition, the manner of solving problems largely depends on the type of personality and temperament. So, the extroverts prefer not to think for a long time, but immediately begin to act, and introverts are analyzed a lot and can "hang up for a long time before deciding. Both of these strategies can become failed: the extrovert in the end is struck by firewood, and the introvert will remain in the problem and wait until it decides itself.

Basic Decision Decisions

There are some rules that should be adhere to if you doubt the decision.

Remember your own life priorities And strictly hold them. Think out that in fact it is important for you and for which you work, learn, etc. Often, values \u200b\u200band priorities are artificially replaced by society.
For example, The principle of "money for money" becomes fashionable. Having arranged to work, think what you really value and for what you do it? If you are very valuable with family and communicating with children, highly paid work with constant processing may simply not come up. Holding attention on the main thing, making decisions becomes much easier.
Try, if possible. You can easily reflect on the topic of what would happen if you went and did something, but you can just try and then make a decision.
For instanceIf you dream to become a well-known graphic designer, ask for an internship in an advertising agency. Looking at the work of the dreams from the inside, it would be much easier to make a decision.
Limit the number of options. You must have a choice, but remember that the abundance of options does not help, but, on the contrary, it makes it difficult to make decisions.
Come up with yourself an actions algorithm if a certain situation occurs.
For instance, If you have brought your own business, but a year later, it does not start bringing income, you cease to invest in an unprofitable enterprise. Such "spare" algorithms make it possible to calculate the risks and progress in the case of an unfavorable situation.
Contact advice to close and more experienced people.. It is important to be able to handle these tips. Of course, the opinion on the part and the information received is very important. However, do not forget that sometimes people give advice, projecting their own fears and failures on your life. Be careful and do not go for someone else's opinion.
Voice the problem several times. To seek advice is useful not so much to hear the Council, how much to speak the situation. When we repeat our question several times, already at the time of pronouncing new unexpected thoughts and ideas come to us.
Stop thinking and analyze and just act. Sometimes we do not lose anything in one situation or another, so why spend your time and energy on thinking? Everywhere where there is no loss, proceed immediately and decisively.
Postulate the decision until tomorrow. Sometimes weighing and make a solution much easier to fresh. In addition, sometimes it is useful to rely on your subconscious and ask yourself a concern for the night. Perhaps the first thought that comes to mind immediately after the awakening and will turn out to be the right option.
Limit time to make a decision. The law of forced effectiveness is entering into force.
Recommend not only to your experience, but also on current changes in the situation.
If you have made decisions, act immediately!

What should not be done?

Do not disconnect intuition. Listen to your body and "signs over" still worth it.
Do not tighten with the decision and its implementation. Otherwise you will stay with a problem.
Never regret the decisions taken. Remember that there is no perfect option actions. All that happens to us is happening for something and is already the most correct solution. Maybe accepting another decision, would there be a lot more problems?
Do not abuse tips and do not ask everyone in a row.
Do not shift responsibility for your life to another.
Do not go on your emotions.

Eliminate emotions

It is very important before making a decision, get rid of interfering emotions: fear, nervousness, excitement, etc. Such emotions interfere with concentrate on the main thing, constantly draw attention to minor trivia and do not allow adequate to look at the situation.

Fear

In order to get rid of fear, it is necessary to imagine the worst version of the development of events. Of course, it will be very exaggerated, but the playback of the frightening moment in the imagination will allow you to touch own fear and prepare C. possible problems On the way to the goal.

Breath

No matter how trite, deep and slow abdominal breathing will help to get rid of interfering excitement. It is necessary to breathe deeply belly, the chest at the same time is practically not moving. Make 10 slow breaths and exhale, slightly delaying breathing on 5-7 slow bills.

Wait

Just wait. Not always momentary gusts and desires are worthy of early incarnation. Sometimes they pass as quickly as we have in our head. It is better to wait until the excitation wave and emotions will fall, than to do nonsense.

Keep concentration

Try at the time of making a decision to be as much as possible now. Stop distracted by external factors and various little things. If necessary, get away and unlocked alone. Immerse yourself in a challenge with your head and concentrate on it.

Rule 10/10/10

To cool your dust sometimes enough to ask yourself three questions:

How do I react to my decision in 10 minutes?
After 10 months?
After 10 years?

Performing this practice, try to stay as honest as possible with yourself.

Remember this condition when a friend adds to us for advice. We clearly see the situation and do not pay attention to various little things. Try to look at your problem from the side and give yourself an adequate advice.

Ideal "I"

Choose from the proposed options perfect. Try not to think about what you want. Our desires do not always go to use.

Methods of decision-making

Humanity for all the time of its existence came up with many ways to make a right decision. But before proceeding with the acquaintance with these methods, it is necessary to understand from what the right decision is:

Information. These are dry facts without emotional coloring and informational distortion.
Selectivity in information. Not all the facts should be taken on faith or project to their lives.
Concentration on the problem and solutions.
Experience. Mostly your personal, but also experiences are also very valuable.
Flexibility and ability to adapt to changes in the situation.
Adequate assessment of what is happening.
Sequence in decision making and follow-up.

Avoid restrictions and frames

People tend to choose from two extremes: "Yes" or "not". Buy the car on credit or not? Divorce or not? Rather or not? We yourself drive themselves in the framework of a difficult choice, while the true answer to the question may be hidden in the middle or lie at all in another plane.

For example, someone wants to buy a car on credit, but doubts, because it does not want to be crowded into debts. Perhaps the question is simply worth putting otherwise and buy a car cheaper, rent an apartment closer to work or to find a job next to the current place of residence.

Try to think wider and avoid the "Yes / No" frames.

Diary Dreams

Imagine a goal in all colors and your future lifeWhen you achieve her. Answer the following questions:

How will I feel?
Why do I need it?
Do I become more confident in myself?
What opportunities will open before me?

Describe your fantasies in the diary in detail, answer questions and re-read the records every day. At first, you will not believe in what you read, but over time your subconscious will take a new picture.

In addition, the bright representation of your own dream and goals helps to make decisions. The main thing, always remember, for what you wake up in the morning.

Expand the choice

Do not attach to the first option. Check out with the rest of alternative solutions. Suddenly it turns out that there are options much better and more profitable? However, it is not necessary to expand the choice of up to a limited number of options. Remember that it will only make it difficult to solve the problem.

Disappearance

Imagine that the option that you chose suddenly disappeared. What will you do in this case?

This method allows you to get rid of attachment to one specific solution and get out of reflection deadlock.

Search for information

Examine a thoroughly all that is associated with the problem and ways to solve it. An acquaintance with reviews on the Internet has become an ordinary ritual before purchasing a product or service. But for some reason, not everyone is also coming, choosing a university or a new job.

Examine the issue on the Internet and, if possible, chat with those who worked or studied in this institution. This half will save you from the wrong choice.

In addition, you can ask questions directly at the interview. Do not specify which bonuses can offer a company and there are additional buns for workers. It is better to ask who was in this position before, how many people quit with this vacancy and why, where they now and how with them can be associated. Replies to these questions will already be enough to adopt a weighted solution.

If you make a decision difficult, you can use the Cartarate Square method. To do this, on a sheet of paper, mark the square and divide it with two lines for another four square. In the left upper square write everything you get, accepting this decision, and in the right - everything that you get without accepting it. In the lower squares, respectively, all that you do not get if we take this solution, and everything you do not get if it is not taken.

After you complete writing all the pros and cons of this solution, it remains to calculate their ratio and quantity:

Delete the number of minuses from the quantity of the advantages of the right upper square.
Spend the same operation with the left column of the square.
Take a decision.

Method of three questions

There is such a theory that before making a decision, it is necessary to ask himself three times. The first time the answer will come on the basis of emotions, the second time - on the basis of logic, and the third answer will be the closest to the truth.

Sample different hats

It is possible to make a decision in a game form. To do this, imagine that you have seven hats different colors And each of them can radically change the image of your thinking:

Red - makes you excitable and emotional;
Siren - allows you to always remain rational;
Blue - includes intuition;
Black - Makes to see one negative and pass through the prism of the affected attitude;
Pink - makes excessively self-confident and incapable of self-criticism;
Orange - generates impracticable projects and builds fantastic plans;
White - gives wisdom.

Fix all the caps and try to output the average of the entire thread and feelings.

We exclude uninteresting options

You can make a choice of several alternatives using the exclusion method. Remove the most unattractive option from existing ones. Then remove another one and one more. Continue to exclude unwanted options until one option remains.

Little Cast

Not always our choice is associated with pleasant things. Sometimes, whatever we choose, the consequences will not be very pleasant. What to do in this case? Take the situation as it is and try to choose what will be the least unpleasant for you.

PMI method

Abbreviation nm can decipher as Plus, minus, interesting . Make a table of three columns. In the first write all possible advantages from receivedIn the second, the cons, and in the third - simply all interesting comments, nuances and comments that do not belong to any advantages or cons.

This sign will help to visually present all the advantages and disadvantages of the decision and once again weigh all the "for" and "against".

Practice of five leading issues

Suppose you have already chosen a solution for your problem. How to check in the right direction you are moving and is it worth changing it? This will help you the method of five questions:

Do I want this (to become someone / do something / have something)? If the answer is yes, we continue to ask questions.
If I do it (I will become someone / I'll do something / I will acquire something), will I stay in harmony with me, the world, the universe and God (for believers)? If so, then continue.
If I do this, does it bring me to my dream? Yes? We continue.
If I do this, will it violate someone's rights? If not, you can ask yourself the last question.
If I do it, will it be better for me or someone else?

If you come to the last question and the answer to it is positive, you can safely believe that you are on the right track.

Algorithm of independent decision-making

In order to learn how to make decisions on your own, take a piece of paper and handle.

Write on a leaf, which one you have a problem.
List the reasons why it needs to be solved.
Describe the desired event outcome in detail.
Write everything possible options solving the issue and actions that must be made.
Analyze your answers, relate them to current features and start acting.

How to make a decision about work?

When going to get away from work or choosing from several vacancies, remember your life priorities and values. If the chapter of everything is worth a family, it is wrong to choose work with an abnormal working day and permanent delays at work, even if you receive a good payment.

It will be not bad in this case to ask for help to a friend. After all, the real risks and imaginary fears are always better visible. If you do not ask anyone, try to give yourself a board yourself. Try to turn off your emotions, because the change of work can change your life in both the worse and the better.

How to make a decision on divorce?

If a family life I gave the crack and everything is bad, sometimes you can fire thoughts about divorce. Do not rush to chop out the gossip. Wait for emotions to calm down and clarity will appear in my head. Perhaps it will be worthwhile to live a little with the spouse of apart.

Do not hurry to contact your loved ones. If you then change your mind and make yourself with your husband or wife, close to it will condemn it / her, count the enemy and insert sticks into the wheels. In addition, personal life is one of those spheres of life where solutions should remain exclusively for you, so that it is bitterly not regretting that you blindly obeyed someone's council.

Remember that you need to avoid a narrow framework and radical solutions. Perhaps the question of "divorce or not?" It was delivered incorrectly and there are other solutions, for example: to understand relationships, to work off the resentment, talk to souls, to establish relationships or contact a family psychologist.

If you understand that you bring to you much better than in the Union with a partner, and the relationship does not work, it is possible, it is worthwhile and divorce than to fight for anyone who is not necessary destructive relationships.

How to help make a decision?

Each person is the owner of his life. Therefore, give another opportunity to independently build your life, win and mistaken. If you see your close person Doubts himself, give him the opportunity to independently make a decision and do not climb with unreasonable advice. Of course, if you are treated for advice, you can express your opinion and say how you did, but not more. You are not entitled to make a decision for another person or take responsibility for his life.

What prevents us from taking adequate solutions? (Dan Gilbert)