How to find your true desires. How to learn to recognize your true desires
Sometimes the cause of many problems and failures in life is a foggy idea of \u200b\u200bits true purposes and desires. Do not appeal (eat, watch TV, etc.), but global. Usually, those people who clearly imagine what they want are successful. From life. In life. And generally speaking.
"I don't understand, I don't know what I want," - Do you often tell yourself or those surrounding these words?
How many of us simply live and live, float themselves for the flow, or yet, sometimes, try to join, but somehow without much results. Or even float, quite consciously and beautiful, but at some point suddenly realize that they walked at all where they wanted. And in life, everything is not like I would like. As planned, represented, hoped. There is dissatisfaction with life, by them, surrounding. And hence even more problems, irritation, which increases, like a snowball ... And with sadness, or even despair, you understand that life is inspired and meaningless. And for many years they are invested not clear what.
But still Lion Tolstoy said that "if life does not seem to be huge joy, then this is just because your mind is falsely directed." And it is possible that the reason for all your failures or failures lies only in the fact that you really do not know what you want. Maybe due to the fact that in the bustling of endless cases, it simply did not have time to sit down and deal with their aspirations and desires. Or it seemed to you that you understand what you want, but in the end, or they understood not correctly or did not realize our true desires, guided by superficial. Or not even with their own, but the desires of parents, teachers surrounding - as often happens - taking them for their own.
And at some point suddenly - which inevitably - turned out to be a broken trough. However, not necessarily at the trough. Maybe the villa on the sea coast, or simply in the walls of the office at its work ... But in confusion and confusion. Dissatisfied with their lives or from somewhere who appeared and increasingly growing concern that everything is somehow not so ... not correct. Does not bring you joy and pleasure.
Someone calls this middle-aged crisis. However, such a sense and thoughts can appear at any time, at any age. And in more mature - just perceived and experienced sharper. And then many people do incomprehensible others and unexpected actions. For example, throw successful work, leaving to another city and begin again, completely in another professional area. Men often throw a family, novel with more young girls. By the way, not always such spontaneous deeds make people happier. If they act by Nama, trying to escape from dissatisfaction with their lives, and in fact - from ourselves, without silent, again, again, in their desires, - the result will be the same, after a while they realize again that it is again "not then. "
It is more correct in such a situation not to run away, but, on the contrary, take a step towards yourself. Sit and finally understand, ask a question: "Why do I want?". Although sometimes it is so difficult to answer it. Or hear the answer coming from your subconscious.
To begin, make a list of your desires. Write everything that you will come to mind. What are you dreamed of childhood? What would I want now? It can go somewhere to do something, but it lacks time or no opportunity ... maybe start drawing or take vocal lessons. Or learn foreign languages... Let your list be as long as possible, you can make it no more than once, but to postpone, and then complement for several days. Only your desires should be real and well thought out, and not from the field of fairy tales and fiction.
Inventing the next desire, listen to yourself every time. Try to imagine that your cherished goal was carried out. What emotions do you feel at the same time - joy, babysitting? Or maybe partially and internal discomfort? For example, deciding, by all means to make a career and earn a bunch of money, are you ready to sacrifice your time, which could spend with relatives and friends, rest, hobby? From morning to evening, hang around at work, with rare weekends and even more rare vacation? Are you ready for all these difficulties associated with your dream? If you feel doubt, it means that it is not what you really need, etc.
It is important to be able to correctly and clearly formulate your desires. For example, "know", "be able to" and "learn", "learn" is not the same thing. You can want to know foreign languages, but not at all feeling a huge desire to teach them. Well, it is necessary to attach efforts to be somehow, and not small. And without learning - to know, alas, it will not work. Therefore, it is more correct to formulate: "I want to learn" (if you need, again, again).
Now take another sheet and imagine that you fell inheritance from suddenly declared there, from where it was suddenly a pre-sacrificent relative of the billionaire. So, a couple-triple of millions of dollars. Now start to make a new list of your desires. Moreover, this list can be divided into three points (columns):
1) What will you now do what to do, having your millions;
2) From what, from what you did (what you want to do) earlier, you will now refuse;
3) From what will not refuse anything, even having millions.
Special attention should be paid to what you will specify in paragraph No. 2. For example, if you mention that the first thing - throw your work or husband - because before (that is, before you have become a millionaire) you were forced to work at this place (in this position) / live with this person because of circumstances, etc.
The thirst for cardinal changes indicates that you are not in your place / not with that person, about the crisis in relationships. This does not mean that it is necessary to tear everything and immediately, but to pay attention to, you need to think about it. And then try to take some steps depending on the situation. What if you just change the place of work? Or even try to do the same, but in another city? Do not see the prospects - it means you need to change the scope of activity. Also with relationships. Your discontent may indicate the brewing problems / crisis in relationships. Maybe some measures should be taken to establish relationships? If you do not see in this sense, it means that you should think about more cardinal measures. And so on, for all points.
Now compare your first and second list. That is, your desires in the current situation and your desires in the case of the great opportunities that have opened before you. What items are repeated in both lists (and are included in the second list item)?
Now from the lists of your desires you need to choose the 10 most powerful, main important for you. Those who this moment are of paramount importance for you. Of course, it is not so easy. But you have to compare and choose what is more interesting for you and significantly. Chose? Very good.
Now out of 10 Select 3. The mostst.
Well, now, realizing what you want, you can start acting. To begin with, develop a plan, think over every step - and go ahead! Towards your dreams, success, happiness!A happy person is distinguished by the presence of a healthy appetite for life. He is pleased with the process itself. If you look attentively, it will be easy to see the recipe that combines all such people: 1) they know how to accurately determine what they want 2) they get it. How to understand what I really want?
I remember that day, about a year ago, when I suddenly realized that the transformation, to which I sought for so long, went into my life. Despite the fact that there were still many unresolved tasks and questions, there were doubts, fears and other satellites of any change - but one change still happened: i knew exactly what I want. And in all spheres of life and on different sections of time.
Wake me up in the middle of the night, demanding that I wonder what I was interested in this life - I would have blurted out without the shadow of doubt where I go. Moreover, with a fair share of specifics. Suggest me to change these goals to others, no less attractive, I would refuse, for my scope and so gives me enough space to straighten your wings. Turning away my life before choosing is a favorite person or these goals, I would choose the second. As true love It will not put such a condition, and everything else is a fake from the dreams on the topic of saving love, which will make you happy for life and will get rid of the need to act. And for this illusion there is no more space in my life.
This is an interesting feeling - to know what you want and where you go, because it does not cancel the freedom of choice and the opportunity to change their mind, but you know that your choice is made.
Absolute freedom does not exist, but there is freedom to make a decision, and after that you are connected with your choice
P. Coelho, Zaire
Tie myself in this choice - this is a true wise step, since it is that the concentration in a single vector helps to pass the stage behind the stage and feel the rhythm of life, giving birth to the joy of conscious movement forward. Including it the only way Have what you want, for those who are not afraid to dream of a large.
If you just describe, the picture looks like this:
— To inspire from moving towards your desires, they should be big - That is, to have a scope for your soul flight. Global goals give rise to faith in the fact that our possibilities are much wider, thereby discusing the internal potential and giving a tide.
— To walk to big goals - you need timeduring which you will move in the selected side, without changing the directions. Only a long movement in one direction can give a tangible result. You have the right to change the goal, change your mind, choose another - please. The divine right of free choice is always with you, as well as the law of the cause and effect: every time, starting another, you start a new way, and it also needs to remain long enough, without changing the acute focus.
- In order not to succumb to the seduction of choice and do not change its direction - it is necessary to accurately determine what you want. Therefore, it is reasonable at a certain moment of life for yourself to decide: "Who am I?" And "Where to go?". Otherwise, people often change their opinions, try many directions at once, they don't succeed anywhere else and generally refuse any attempts, thereby starting a smooth descent down the stairs of their prospects.
If you are ready - you do not need to prepare.
When you decided on the direction, it is easier to deal with doubts and tempting opportunities. It is easier not to be distracted from the essence and keep the focus on something one. When this choice is not fully made to the end and you continue to wait for a miracle (they say, somehow it all goes without happens), then you float where the wind is drown. I think no one would like us to be on an uncontrolled ship in the ocean or on the raw rod flow without cheerful. So why many like this dangerous approach so much: "Fly by the flow of life without any goals", isn't it obvious that he carries on stones of helpless old age?
Now in Moscow there is a world championship in athletics - how interesting to watch some contests. Look.
What is the essence of the victory of a particular athlete? Someone will say that in diligent training coupled with natural data, but still root deeper - in their choice, it is on one particular sport that they approached them more, and improve it.
Only long and technically correct workouts in one direction can give the necessary result. But each of today's sports stars, having, in principle, the strong body and certain talents could run from the sprint into jumps, from the jumps in the marathon, from the marathon in all-around, calling it looking for themselves. Determine the direction as early as possible - the most important decision in sports, and everyone knows what is curious, but in life it is also the most important decision, however, already significantly less people Take it into account.
To get what you want, you need to choose a single vector and move in its direction, constantly improving for a long time.
Hence the logical question: Do you know what you want from your life? In all areas?
I did not know for a long time. Rather, incorrectly interpreted its desires. For example, I sincerely wanted to live by the sea. And only after 2 years, tightly spent by the sea, I realized that I actually want to regularly leave to the sea, and to the mountains, and to the forests, and to the snow, it is necessary, that is, travel a lot in the world, and only in breaks Between something more significant and creative, for example, the development of their project, and to live by the sea is completely optional. The big city is responsible for significantly large quantity My questions than isolated from the world island. In his personal life, there were also dreams in the style "Or maybe I will become an excellent hostess and the custodian of the focus and I will not do anything" than pretty smiling my own universe with the relevant lessons.
For each talent will ask us.
But every time, even when the next "want" turned out to be more likely to my fantasy about the beautiful future, and not an adult decision, I continued to move forward. I wanted to live by the sea - I went there to live. I wanted a free schedule - I found a way to work by freelancer. I realized that we need to return to Moscow, I moved. I wanted the author's project - and so he is in front of you. It is this movement, and not reflections (!), Gave the skill to separate the grains of the true aspirations of the soul from the challenge of idle entertainment, which do not lead anywhere. At some point, real objectives began to gain an increasingly distinct form, leaving overboard all the imposed husks.
This is an illustration of my favorite example with a long climbing in the mountains - you first don't even see the top, but as you approach, with the next observation platform, your review increases and at some point - the goal becomes quite distinguishable. But if you do not set out of the sofa and do not start this way of conscious movement on the edges of your "I want" and "I can", then the top does not ask.
Several tips, how to understand your true desires and gain inspiring goals
0. Tip number "Zero" - Start awareness, to begin with any nearest desire. You need to start moving to the mountain to continue to argue about where in all this magnificence it is my road. If you plan to start and do something, only when you find your way or destination, - you just do not leave for the threshold of your home. This is called "sofa searches yourself", and it is ridiculous.
1. Pay attention to your own desires.
Availability large number Desires and ideas are a sign of high energy. Do not disdain your aspirations. And do not listen to those who say that desire is bad. Desires encourage us to move forward, grow and overcome themselves, or rather, their own ideas about themselves. Desires - catalysts vital energy. Another question is that when the potential remains unrealized, it begins to crush. That is why desires in every sense is useful to fulfill.
The difference between the true dream or "public", that is, imposed, most often realized only in practice, and not in the mind. Be prepared by K. power and Error Stage, especially if they grew up in a strongly "stort" environment, but this stage is also very productive.
Most often, I come with letters in the style "how to make everything to change, but not mistaken." That's the point that there is no way. Yes, you may be mistaken, but even a mistake with sincere intention to change for the better and realize your potential to the maximum will benefit, because it will remove the next layer of Shore from the eye, which is never seen if you do not try.
Loser, this is the one who did not even try because of fear of failure.
It was the mistakes that led me to the very observation platform where I could clearly see what I want: who to be, what to go. And the bonus is an understanding of what no longer intends to tolerate.
2. Find the jack between desires and abilities
A single vector about which was discussed is very often at the junction "I want" and "I can". That is, it is not just your current abilities, but multiplied to great desires. What you have tendency and talents, but in the context of a big dream. This conscious development of its abilities in skill, which allows to carry out the most bold desires. As soon as they click this junction - give him priority. Nothing does not make a person internally holistic and calm, as a distinct understanding where he goes.
The goal is different from the presence of real Steps Already in the selected direction. In all other cases, if you want, but do not, is no more than a children's dream, which is unlikely to come true.
To walk somewhere, you need to know the destination. This is primary. And the sooner we define with him, the clearer everything that happens around. I wish you to realize it and choose from the whole manifold.
4.4. We will declare your goals
Now that relative peace of mind has been established in your head, and the quiet prompts of your patron will not be caught up with herds uncontrolled thoughts, you can safely start using your new opportunities to achieve desirable goals. Do this, especially at first, preferably in a certain sequence.
Remit true desires
On the initial stage Applications of event forming techniques find out what you want in reality
i
? Or, in other things, on which top do you need to climb?
It is necessary in order to not make a claim to life for the fact that it does not fulfill your desires. Life always performs them, only we often do not know what we want! More precisely in my head we want one, and in the shower - the other. And life performs what we wish in the shower.
How does it work? For example, you are sincerely sure you want to find new job and receive more money. But in the soul you have hid fear that you have too many years or that you have too low qualifications, or something like that. Now you know that this is idealization (that is, exaggeration) of its imperfection. But this fear is your true order of life: "I don't want to move anywhere, because I do not cope with the work in a new place! I'm scared, leave me alone! ". Life catches it your hidden message and does that all your sluggish attempts to find another place of work fall, and you stay where you are now. Your true desire turned!
Or a girl declares that he wants to marry get married, and he is very worried about the fact that everything is not loved and no. But in her soul, she had a fear of the fact that she could again be deceived as last time (or as her girlfriend). Or that she does not know how to cook and will bad wife. Or that a man will limit her freedom or will humiliate it. Or something else. And this hidden fear, that is, promised to life: "I do not want to marry !!! I'm afraid!" Successfully blocks her new acquaintances.
Another example. Elderly Mom really wants to get rid of serious illness, and takes a lot of effort. But the disease is for it there is a way to manage relatives, which she periodically announces that they brought it to such a state. But if she is cured, she will not have a tool for manipulating his relatives, and such a situation will not suit her. It means that its true desire is the desire to have a disease, and heavier, since it gives it clear benefits. And it is impossible to recover her, so life performs her true desire - to have a disease.
Etc. Our true desires often differ from those that we declare out loud and which are often sources of experiences. BUT Life performs, first of all, our true desires. If you know them, then you will be better understood how and why did you create a situation that you have today.
So, at this stage you need to try to determine your true life goals.
Can do it yourself different ways.
You can once again analyze your current state and try to determine what benefits you benefit from it. Or what fears do not allow you to make changes to best side. And what do you want in reality, but what are striving to be influenced by the surrounding people, seeking to please the opinion of parents, friends or just familiar. That is, work is quite rational and logical. If you have a well-developed logical thinking, then you will definitely come to the correct results, and separate the true goals from unidentified.
Or you can use the help of your egregor, having received the welcome tips from it. You can make it very different ways. You can try to use this method called "Automatic Letter". With this method, you can receive information from your subconscious. Under the concept of "subconscious" here, we understand some invisible thread, connecting the subtle bodies of a person with the patronage of him Egregor.
Exercise "My True Objectives"
To get the information you need:
- prepare a piece of paper and a handle;
- sit in a relaxed atmosphere at the table (turn off the phone, turn off the radio and TV, eliminate the appeal to you other people);
- take a handle in your hand;
- put hands on the table so that you at any time without effort and movement could start writing;
- relax, stop thoughts for a few minutes;
- after that, start mentally ask yourself questions like: "What are my true goals and desires? What benefits I remove from my situation? What prevents me from changeing my situation for the better?" and the like.
- After that, you need to safely sit and wait for what thoughts ( separate words, phrases, images) will appear in your head. You do not need to reflect on your questions or convulsively squeeze the answers from your subconscious. You just need to sit and calmly wait until some thoughts show in my head.
- As soon as any thought manifests you in your head, she will immediately need to record on a piece and wait for the next. Your subconsciousness with normal configuration will give you 5-15 different answers if you slow down thoughts for 10-20 minutes.
- All thoughts need to be immediately recorded, completely eliminating their assessment, analysis and comparison. In no case, during this procedure, it is possible to include your "tushal". Complete calm, trust, and the results will be on paper. Answers can be specific, and can and have general form - Record absolutely everything that will come to mind.
The appearance of "garbage" in the first stages of working with the subconscious is quite understandable. You did not pay attention to the signals from my subconscious, so that the channel between you was hammered by any nonsense, became full of distorted and someone else's information. When the channel is clear, you will get clear answers, but not everyone has the first time.
After writing out 5-15 replies, it is possible to return to the usual state of consciousness (i.e., to launch logical thinking, criticism) and try to understand what is written. Perhaps the information received will fully coincide with your idea of \u200b\u200byourself, and you will get what they knew so well. It will be an excellent result that will indicate that you are already actively using your subconscious tips, and he has nothing to tell you more.
But it is rare. Often the answers received by the automatic letter differ from the fact that you are used to thinking about yourself. Do not hurry to discard what you seem to do not agree! Try to look like this a few days, reflect on the answers received. And for sure if you are internally honest, you will agree with the correctness of the information received. And the identification of your true goals and desires is a big step towards the end result.
When performing this exercise, it is important not to confuse your own fussy mind with the voice of the subconscious. Therefore: no internal discussions or estimates! Build a conversation with an internal interlocutor if it occurs, you can only in one scheme: Silence is a question - the answer is silent ...
What to do with identified true desires
And really, what to do with those fear or other hidden benefits that you used to be carefully pushed into the depths of your subconscious, and now unexpectedly pulled out to the light? And you understand that they are now they already clearly block the path to the desired goals?
The answer is simple - make quite conscious choice: What is more expensive to you?
Does your freedom or marriage with its possible restriction? Yours peace of mind at the current salary or several big money, accompanied by the need to build in new team And to prove their worthwesters there? Your health or desire to put the surrounding "True path" at any cost?
Make a conscious choice and calm down.
You can choose peace of mind with a small salary - will it be an excellent choice because it is worth spending your nervous energy for money? Or you can choose a new job with a greater salary, and the excitement accompanying will be considered as a return to youth with its irrepressive desires, and what could be better than this?
In the case of marriage, the girl should consciously decide that it is more expensive. She can choose freedom, but at the same time should find a lesson for all subsequent evenings and nights and not worry, if sometimes no one will be next to her. Either she can choose marriage in advance that she will have to sacrifice part of its independence and even receive pleasure from it (and otherwise family life It will turn into a battle for independence, but it will be the behavior of a person who is not aware of the consequences of its actions). Etc. Make a selection and calm down - Life loves smiling, she helps them to achieve their true goals.
AND do not turn your life in constant experiences about whether you made the choice
- It will be a manifestation of the idealization of its imperfection and lead to the most sorting consequences. Take what all your solutions are initially correct!
You can not make a mistake, because you communicated through the subconscious of the highest advisors! Your decision is the most correct of all possible, whatever they spoke on this occasion around people, and no matter how doubt you do not throw your "phoney". Only success awaits you!
If there are no purposes
If the previous exercise allowed us to identify your true goals and accept conscious decisions, then everything is wonderful, you can go further and begin to declare life to what you are striving for.
Worse, the situation is if you could not identify any significant goals for you. If, as a result of the exercise, you still do not exit you (in conscious state) goals, then you can supplement the previous exercise as follows.
Exercise "I am a billionaire."
Cook pen and paper sheet.
Take a convenient post at the table, relax and stop the thoughts. Imagine that you have been inherited one hundred billion dollars. Try to determine which first five steps you will do, receiving such practically unlimited resources. Write down these steps.
Listen to mentally what happens in a year if you make these five steps.
If you read these lines when reading these rows, it seems that this is a very easy exercise, we would like to note that it is not at all. The desires of most people do not go further "Mercedes", apartments or country houseand trips to Bahamas. In addition, these are purely consumer purposes that such large funds are not needed. Do you have any secret desires that require practically unlimited resources? Is it purely consumer desires, or did you want to do something big and bright for people?
The proposed exercise helps "pull out" from us hidden desires and needs (weak links with long-range egregories) and more clearly understand what the top you should watch first.
| This is the first book. methods of Alexander Sviyasha, who later received development as technology Reasonable life. | Beginning here: One of the basic ideas of the methodology is pretty simple - we do not need to wait when everything changes usually necessary us, and only then we will have the grounds for joy. In fact, the other way around - we it is necessary to begin to rejoice in the life that we managed to create yourself at the moment of time.And from this joyful state to go to the purposes that we put in front of ourselves. If you understand the signals of life and remove your claims to her, then you become her pet, and you can successfully set any reasonable goals and go to their implementation on the wave of good luck. The book tells how it can and needs to be done. " |
It has already been said that the main difficulty is that we ourselves do not know what we want. It is necessary to determine only his true desiresHow the calling will become an obvious fact, and it is no longer necessary to look for it.
But that's all and snag: how to find your true desires? What does True mean? And why, damn it, most often it happens that I don't want anything at all?
There may be several reasons for any.
1. Lack of habit of desire. In the overwhelming majority of books and articles on the search for your vocation, this method is offered: imagine that you do not merry money, you all already have: and the house is chic, and the car, and yacht, and in general everything you can wish for money and you We have already arrived all the world and twenty times, and it has already specifically got it. Presented? And now tell me how would you become in this case?
Most people will say: Yes, nothing! I now have everything, leave me alone, I will lie on the sofa and bald from what I already have everything. What else to wish then?
Of course, you understand that such a life will very quickly bother, because there is nothing more desired. And that all these things are the essence - purely consumer, and you need to want something for the soul. But the soul brings to herself, for it looked away anything.
How to hear your soul? Mistorize more often. There are pretty simple but effective methods Meditation. For example, on. This will help with time to calm the inner "chatter" and hear, finally, his inner, which is never mistaken and knows exactly what it wants.
We always strive for forbidden and wish unauthorized.
Ovidi
2. No energy. W. modern man highly low level Energy. Too many artificial food, too many garbage information, too much stress and constant inappropriate. All this takes a mass of energy, not leaving any opportunities not only to dream and desire, but also just at least to rejoice in life. Gray this, monotonous existence day after day.
From here it happens and the lack of habit of wishing, which was said in the previous paragraph. They say, we can all in childhood we can wish to truly, but over time we forget how it is done. In fact, it is not. It is impossible to forget what is already able to do. You can lose skill, but you can't forget. It's like cycling: you can always sit down and go, if at least once it happened.
Another thing is that we are often just afraid to use your adaptive skills. If you take the same bike, then an adult is sometimes tritely terribly to get it. What if it falls? He will break something else for nothing.
Also with desires. The adult is simply already afraid, although it can, desire something, because it can strongly change the well-established world. And a person and so much worries that new to add well, I just don't want to. After all, even the retention of the usual world often lacks energy. That is why he most often says that he does not know what he wants, but in fact and does not want to know. So safer, easier and easier to live.
3. High expectations. For some reason, many people seem to be true wishes should be wow what!
Love, so the queen, lose, so Million!
From k / f "Moscow does not believe in tears"
In fact, the fact that the desire is petty and momentary it does not cease to be true. If you have imputed to the toilet, then this desire is completely true, although it is not impressive, of course. Is that, it will be labeled in the middle of the crowd somewhere in the subway. That's how fun will be fun.
And you tried at least ever to be sowed on the sofa, but do it extremely consciously? And get from this kayf? And it is clear that sometimes true desires are very simple and accessible, only we do not pay attention to them, considering that they should be somehow more matured and more greasy.
The smaller my desires, the closer I am to the gods.
Socrates
In our everyday life Such true desires arise WHO and a small trolley. But we do not notice them, considering something insignificant. And this is a completely wrong approach.
We have learned to appreciate what we already have. Most of us have a roof over your head, cold and hot water From the crane, electricity, gas, cozy sorter, fridge with products, a soft bed with white sheets, the Internet with a bunch of information, mobile communication and a mass of all nishtyakov. Yes, in medieval Europe, any king would be removed from envy.
But we do not appreciate it. These things have become familiar, everyday life. However, it costs at least some detail for a while disappear (for example, the light was cut throughout the house), as we immediately begin to get nervous and feel in our skin: from damn, and the convenience of it disappeared! And it was inconvenient somehow immediately, and even terribly a bit, and you're already thirsty of the speedy restoration of electricity in the house, swearing the bottom electricians.
While we will not learn to rejoice, appreciate and thank the universe for all those things, skills and skills that we already have, we are unlikely to achieve something more. Think for a minute about people of the injuries that do not have enough limbs, or vision, or hearing, or there are still some serious troubles with health, and understand how well you have already been.
While we do not learn to rejoice, appreciate and thank the universe for all those things, skills and skills that we already have, we are unlikely to achieve something more ...
4. Negative. Most of the time we focus not on what we wish, but absolutely on the opposite - on what we do not want, or what we lack. This is a fundamentally wrong approach! The point is not even in that if the universe does not understand or does not understand. Just when a person focuses on what he does not want, or on what he has no, he doesn't have time to think at all: and what he wants then.
In fact, we can say that if a person denies something in his life and does not want to receive this (illness, poverty, loneliness, etc.), then this can also be called a true desire. After all, he really wants it. But the problem is just that he is only thinking about it, day after day, thereby supporting the "light" of this negative desire. He is so accustomed to him that if it really has to take it away from him, then a person can easily experience shock and stress. How! It disappeared what he lived so long and what he hated himself. How to live now further then?
So, the chip is not just not wishing something, but find this positive replacement to be desired. You do not want to be sick and dead - wish to become healthy and strong. You do not want to live in poverty - wish to become rich. Etc. It's easy, but few people think about it.
By the way, there is a very curious book "Live with feeling." Her author of Daniella Laport.
Here is what the description says to the book:
... We strive for some things and goals, hoping that their achievement will make us feel better. What if you first clearly define how you want to feel and what do you want to do, and only after you figure it out with your intentions and goals?
That is, the method is proposed from the opponent. You first decide what you want to experience and feel in your life, and already on this establish your true desires. I think it's more and more wisely.
Do not know what you want to feel and test? Here is a hint:
Everyone wants to live safe, well-being and joy. These are the true desires of any person. But what tools he uses for this - this is just those things he truly wants; events in which he wants to participate; And the people with whom he wants to communicate.
And further. True desires easily allow to give correct answer To the question: " Why do I need it?»The correct answer can be only one: if it is necessary for the feeling of completeness of life, sense of satisfaction, for joy, happiness, pleasure, financial well-being - So, the desire is truly.
If your answer sounds like this to this question: "It is necessary for me to be no worse than others so that I loved and respected others, because it is so accepted in society, because it is from others ...", then your desire is 100% Not truly.
With the word "desire" each of us arise their images. One of it new car, the other is a house in Lombardy, the third is his dreams of his dreams, at the fourth-career in a large bank. Children are dolls and fives, adolescents - new phones and piercing, young people have successfully examined exams and representatives of the opposite sex, who are older who are children, money and real estate. But what would be your desire, the essence does not change - it is out of you and makes it make certain steps to achieve it.
It is a desire to undergo our birth, and it is how it determines our lives. Our parents should have wanted to make love so that we were conceived and appeared in this world. Then they want us to grow smart, healthy, developed, happy and so on, based on what the corresponding space is created around us. Our life is built according to these desires: if mom wants us to make music, we go to a music school, if Dad wants us to play football, we enter the sports section, if your grandmother wants us to spend more time with her we are sent to all weekends to her vacation home. The desires of people around us create our lives.
The child originally does not have desires. He has needs: He needs to eat, drink, be warm and safety. Needs are not external, they lie in the very concept of life: to live, it is necessary to follow the laws of existence. When the child is born, "I" or we also call him "Ego", at that moment he appears desires. They always come from external, not indoor space. That is, the child sees beautiful doll And begins to want her. Initially, he did not want a doll, he didn't even know what she was, but when he saw her, he had a desire to have it.
Sometimes desires reflect our needs and then it becomes a blessing for us, in any other case they lead us from an internal source, and then we find out in the present hell. If we have the need to eat, as we are hungry, and about us there are delicious and seductive food, we will eat it, and it will be right, since we had the need to eat, and we satisfied it with the help of external desire. If we do not want to eat and eat only because we see a very tasty bun with cream - this bun will not go good for us. If we make love because of internal needs, it is fine, if we cannot cope with the desire - our life will turn into hell. In the first case, we are satisfied, in the second - we are cursed, because we cannot collect ourselves, and hate yourself for the fact that the desires have become stronger than we ourselves.
Why is this happening? Initially, there is no problem in the desires themselves. Moreover, many of us, in order to realize what we need, you need to carefully look at the outside world and thanks to him to understand what we need: We will see around themselves objects or phenomena and understand what we need. Life is very seductive, there is a huge amount of delicious and attractive things that we want to have. There are so many of them, and they contain so much temptation that we, in case of a misunderstanding of the desire mechanisms, sometimes we completely forget about the implementation and filling of our true needs and go to achieve the fact that we do not need to be in essence, and sometimes even leads to Our destruction.
That is why religion has always decided so strongly against the desire - because of his strongest influence on a person and in the inability to resist him. The official religion, at the heart of his believer by a unreasonable being, found only one way to resist the strength of desire: she forbidden to make him many things, saying that it was sin and goes against the will of God. That is why she always advocated the exaggerated modesty of women, hiding her body under shapeless outfits and scarves, so that men did not have a desire when looking at her seductive lines. The church with her one-sided look at things, considered a woman a guilty of total debauchery and a source of sin. In something she was right - it is the woman in its source bears in the desire, bringing a man crazy and forcing him to make many strange and very illogical deeds. A woman is an personification of life itself and it is in her a sacrament leading to the continuation of the kind and development of mankind. She needs to be attractive and desirable, so that the man wants to make love with her and thus create a child.
But that the man did not have other desires, besides, to see her mother's mother, the girl since childhood was accustomed to the fact that she should not be seductive, but only the right and obedient husband. She was closed from the head to those who no one saw in her the source of desire. In order to balance the situation, the institutes of brothels and the mistresses were created in society, with whom it was possible to live in passions. You could have experienced to these women 
desire, but not love. Thus was created one of the biggest problems with which we still cannot figure out: we wish some people, but we live with others, we want to deal with one, but we do completely different. Because of the fact that we desired are prohibited or condemned by society, we, consciously or not, associate it with danger, disaster and inability to achieve. Most of us, the whole life continues to "wind" from one extreme to another: from the right and clear consequence of the given rules to strong passions creating chaos and turning the usual way of life.
The reason lies in the misunderstanding of the nature of the phenomenon itself. A person does not need to refuse his desires, as the church teaches us. Forcibly refusing them to most of us, in the future there is an internal tension due to the week that we really want. Many cases are known when people did not have to do what they wanted just because in their family it was not decided to listen to their desires. If the family was afraid of passions and the following was perceived as a synonym for the threat of "right" life, then any emerging desire was denied whether it was "not the" section, "not those" friends or "not those" hobbies. If it was brought from the outside, that is, so they wanted people around us, then it could be accepted.
Adding awareness to your life and their actions, we will see interesting thing: Much that we would like to have and do, was not implemented because of the defined, putting plants. Parents tried to limit us from problems and troubles, and because of this, for example, they said that the desire to become an artist in our material time is unacceptable. We wanted to become them, but it was harmful to us from the point of view of your parents. Something they were right, since most likely this profession would have brought enough difficulties: it would be difficult to break up the top, we would have earned a little and suffered from the lack of recognition. However, if it was our domestic need, our destination, then the fear of parents carried us from the present path.
Such a situation can occur in any areas - in professional self-determination, in choosing a partner, in food, which we eat or clothing we wear. Society dictates What we need to be a fashion, food, profession. It creates a desire from this, manipulates us so that we do what is convenient for him. It convinces us that being the war is prestigious if he needs soldiers who kill themselves and others that the doctor is a humanistic profession, if no one wants to go to medicine in the country, or even the fact that a large family is fine, if the birth rate falls . Whether we really want to be a doctor, military or have many children - society does not care, he needs to be implemented that it wants and our needs do not interest him. Therefore, the manipulation of our life is very thin: on the one hand, the religion saying that it is sinful, with the other - the power that repulses us that the desires created by her are actually ours. Because of this, in our life, such confusion - we cannot understand where our, where other people, and where else someone's desires.
People in contact with their needs, in the world of units. Part of us can not cope with the flow of desires around themselves and consumes too much, suffering in the future, the other part forbids even small pleasures, afraid that they cannot cope with them, thus turning their lives in the monastery, third, Trying to prove that they are strong, do exactly the opposite of what they want, the fourth do not want anything, losing the meaning of life, the fifth want everyone and in this way can not see the main thing.
To come to the balance with your desires, you need to start with the following fact - with understanding that the desires themselves do not bear the problems. So many noise on their occasion appeared only because of the misunderstanding of their nature and strongly making outward. The more we will dive inside yourself less problems They will deliver. I will refuse them - and our life will turn into the right, but at the same time, a black and white picture. Thightenfully follow them - and the prostitute selling their true needs for momentary pleasures.
Let's start with the observation and analysis of our life - what situation do we have for desires? For example, people often say they do not know what they want. In fact, this is not like this: they want a lot, but these are small desires that they do not pay attention. It is worth starting not to look for global tasks, but to learn to see every moment of existence: due to the search for a world-class desire, we do not see your need to live life in full speed.
Another example: what if we do not understand where to move in professional activities or what clothes are wearing? In this case, you need to look more closely on yourself: it will take some time for self-analysis. You need to follow your attention: to whom and what we look at that in the outside world attracts us. We will be alert, watching themselves: for example, we go down the street and, among many people, pay attention to this guy in blue dies or a girl in the beret - just note it. Further in the subway you saw a man in a white t-shirt with a bright print and a woman in a strict suit - we note that. Collecting these sensations, but not making the instantaneous conclusion about our preferences, we gradually draw a clear picture, the keys to which lie in constant self-observation.
The next stage after the awareness of his desires will be the question: if we like it, then why are we dressed in other ways or work at another specialty? Maybe the style of clothing that attracts our attention is only slim or in order to work in the area that we are interested in, you need additional education? Realizing the reasons that prevent us from doing what we want and look as like, we will be able to find ways to change the situation.
In any case, you should not give up your desires and certainly not worth surrendering - usually just habits convince us that our desires are too good for us. It will take time, sometimes even a lot of time, but it is worth it: if the desire reflects our need, then the implementation of it is simply necessary for the self-satisfaction and fullness of our life. If we are convinced that we do not need it, although it is not so, and move towards the least resistance, then at some point we will face deep dissatisfaction and discontent yourself.
Learn yourself, reactions and behavior and do not be afraid of your desires: Even if they seem dangerous to you, they can not be stronger than you - after all, there are someone who looks at them now, that is, you. So that they do not say - do not follow them, if you think that they will damage you, but do not say that people who do so, bad and wrong. Do not suppress and do not send your desires to the subconscious: there, in the darkness of your unconsciousness, they will only grow up, creating a conflict in your life. Keep your eyes open and go to know yourself, removing the layer of the layer of your ideas and ideas about what you want, thus getting to the very depths of what you really need. After all, under the desire of fashionable clothes, you will find a desire to like and attract attention, under it - the desire to feel comfortable to feel anywhere, then - confidence and love for yourself. By learning ourselves and reaching the implementation of your needs, you will achieve real harmony and total satisfaction with your life.
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