Why a husband beats his wife - the psychology of causes, consequences and the correct solution to the problem. What to do if a husband hits his wife

Domestic violence, unfortunately, is by no means a rare occurrence, but it does not in any way belong to the concept of the norm, and if a woman is constantly subjected to physical attacks by her angry spouse, it is necessary to urgently take action and, depending on the situation, develop a specific plan for further action.

If the husband hit for the first time

If, before the critical moment, when this terrible incident happened, the man had not previously shown signs of uncontrolled aggression and did not allow himself such behavior, the situation requires careful psychological analysis... In life, there are moments for every person when, in a fit of anger, consciousness becomes cloudy and we say or do what we later regret, remembering unworthy behavior with bitterness and shame. What should a woman who has been hit by her husband do? First you need to come to your senses and remember the entire chronology of events. It so happens that the wife herself is a provocateur, endlessly stirring up the conflict, insulting and pushing the husband into the abyss of all-encompassing rage. Of course, even if the wife was to blame for such an outcome, the husband had no right to raise a hand against her. But if this case is an isolated one and love for each other has not died out, the first thing the spouses need to do is to learn a lesson.

If a man deeply regrets what happened, suffers morally, repeatedly asked for forgiveness and never repeated what he had done, he can be forgiven.

Tactics for recurring domestic violence

In the overwhelming majority of cases, a man who has raised his hand against a woman at least once will do it again one day, but not so much regretting it. If you are very scared, you cannot think of where to start in any way, then here is a rough plan of action:

Clearly and unequivocally explain to your husband that the end of his despotism has come and you will definitely not stand it anymore. As proof, pack your suitcase, call your friends or parents, informing about an imminent visit (it is not necessary to tell the real reason for your decision to stay with them).
If your husband doesn't believe you and throws ridicule, threaten to tell mutual friends and family on both sides about his behavior. This may anger him, but he will be afraid to hit you if your words sound convincing.
In case this did not stop the spouse and he attacked you again, the only sure way out is leave home, without hesitation and unnecessary conversations. If you endure violence on his part for a long time, then he has long lost his sense of respect for you and does not believe your threats, which until now have been empty.
When a spouse does not just raise his hand, but is a cruel tyrant, a statement of resignation can provoke another assault, so in this case you need to slip out of the house without warning, because life and health are more important than ambition.
No matter how hard it is, one must realize that reconciliation after regular beatings is impossible: where pain, disrespect and fear reign, there can be no happiness and love. You also need to gather strength and move on: find new job, to live with relatives, girlfriends, acquaintances until the moment you can rent a house. You must start from scratch, because the relationship with your former husband cannot be restored, and any psychologist will tell you about this.

Each loving wife is afraid of a break in relations and suffers greatly in this regard, but in the case of regular violence from her husband, one should not be afraid of leaving him, but of a broken life, a mutilated appearance, loss of health and serious psychological trauma. Why do you need all this, if you can live happily with another person who will truly love you, give you care and tenderness?

Why does the husband beat his wife. What psychologists say about this.

Such behavior - clear sign nervous disorders and mental health disorders. However, if the marriage lasted long enough and the woman suffered physical abuse all this time, this means that she was not healthy from the beginning, because she likes the role of the victim. Otherwise, she would have filed for divorce long ago and stopped suffering. If, on the contrary, a woman attempts to end this relationship and does not in any way provoke a man to violence, then it is usually said that there are no accidental occurrences of violent behavior. A healthy man cannot behave approximately for many months or years, and then suddenly turn into a sadist. So it was originally in his head. The reason for this may be childhood experiences: if the parents swore violently and the father beat the mother, then the son simply models his behavior on a subconscious level. Another reason for this behavior may be a feeling of guilt, an awareness of an unworthy act, which makes the husband not apologize to his wife (as happens the first time), but continue to beat her because of the feeling of his own helplessness and cowardice in the face of the prevailing circumstances.

Taking out anger on a weak person who is not able to fight back is a way of emotional relief.

Where can you go for help?

There are special “crisis centers” that provide assistance to women in difficult life situations, one of which is domestic violence. If you are unable to ask for asylum from relatives and friends, you can contact one of these centers. There will be psychological assistance and, if necessary, legal support. Government crisis centers rarely accompany you in court and defend your interests, but private institutions may well provide this service. If for some reason there is no opportunity to seek help there, then with the next beating by your husband you need to go to the emergency room for medical help and at the same time witness traces of physical abuse. Medical workers will be obliged to pass this information to the police, and thus you will have the opportunity to attract the attention of the authorities, who, having confirmed the violent actions on the part of the spouse, will be obliged to initiate a criminal case and protect you.

How can assault be stopped?

If the decision to break off the relationship has not yet been made, and you remain under the same roof with a potentially dangerous person for you, psychologists recommend adjusting your behavior so that your husband does not break off on every occasion and does not have a reason and opportunity to beat you.
So, what needs to be done so that the husband stops beating:

try not to demand anything from him, but only to ask politely;
do not insist on your own, do not get into arguments;
if possible, leave him alone with himself;
do not start deliberately unpleasant conversations;
in moments of growing aggression, try to retire to other rooms;
do not make fun of your husband, do not criticize his actions, thoughts and behavior.

Domestic violence is often silent. If a husband hits his wife, she often hides it from strangers. Why? This is embarrassing, uncomfortable. You can't tell your friend about it over a cup of tea. Sometimes the closest relatives do not know what a nightmare a woman is going through day after day, until they accidentally notice bruises and abrasions on her.

Why do some husbands beat their wives?

Domestic aggression does not come out of nowhere. It does not happen that a caring, loving father of a family suddenly changed for no reason, instantly turning into a cruel tyrant capable of raising a hand against the mother of his children.

Aggressiveness, lack of self-control, explosive nature often have psychological foundations. Psychologists talk about the existence of two types of male aggressors:

Men are "pit bulls". This type builds up aggression gradually. The scandal begins with abuse and reproaches, grows and ends with beatings. In this case, the husband is psychologically highly dependent on his wife, but he lacks respect for her as a person. It is extremely difficult for a woman in such a relationship: she has to follow her every word, gesture and look. The disgruntled tyrant still finds something to find fault with and provokes another scandal with beatings.
Men are "cobras". This type is more complicated and more dangerous than the first, although it is somewhat less common. The use of force occurs unexpectedly, without previous quarrels and verbal clarification of the relationship, outwardly, the man is absolutely calm. He does not feel remorse even after beating his wife.

Why is violence manifested? If a husband often beats his wife, it means that he feels power over her. Low self-esteem, the presence of complexes push a man to demonstrate his superiority over the weak.

Nature laid in male character striving for self-affirmation. Each person chooses ways to increase self-esteem independently: go up the career ladder, achieve success and recognition in sports, business, or assert oneself at the expense of his wife and children, humiliating and beating them. The unrecognized genius aggressively splashes out dissatisfaction with life at home, as if proving that he is worth something.

From the point of view of psychology, male aggression is provoked by the following reasons:

What to do if her husband beats: to divorce or stay and try to rectify the situation, each woman decides on her own. There are those who only need once, a single blow, to end a relationship. Such women love and respect themselves, and they are sure that once having crossed the boundaries of what is permissible, the husband will no longer be able to stop. This means that physical violence will be repeated. Other wives live with tyrants, finding excuses and forgiving cruelty, decide to re-educate him or humbly accept the situation.

The advice of a psychologist will help to break the vicious circle of domestic violence:

Where can you go if your spouse has beaten up?

Women are stopped by the fear of the unknown, loneliness. Wives who are financially dependent on their husbands, who have nowhere to go, believe that they are driven into a dead end and do not see a way out, while their husbands continue to scoff, feeling their domination. There is always a way out:

Seek help from family or close friends. They can find a temporary shelter.
V big cities You can contact crisis centers for victims of domestic violence for support. If a critical situation arises, you can find shelter and protection, receive legal and psychological assistance, assistance in finding a job.
8-800-100-49-940 - the all-Russian telephone crisis hotline for women, works around the clock.

The procedure for the victim when contacting law enforcement agencies

You need to act clearly in case of beatings, this will help punish the offender according to the law. The procedure is as follows:

What threatens the tyrant?

The legislation presupposes bringing to responsibility for assault, physical and moral harm.

Depending on the circumstances of the beating, after the trial in the criminal case, the perpetrator of the beating may be charged with:

intentional minor harm to health (article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
infliction of intentional harm to health of moderate severity (Article 112 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
intentional grievous bodily harm (Article 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
beatings (article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
torture (article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
threat of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm (Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).

An inadequate spouse will receive an official warning. He will be registered, tracking his behavior in the future.

It's scary to imagine, but there are still many women in the world who endure violence against themselves by different reasons... What if this happened to you? What if your husband beats you? What if your husband mocks you mentally or physically? Our psychologist answers these difficult questions.

“My husband beats me for reasons that seem serious to him, but in fact - it's a trifle. Then he asks for forgiveness, we live peacefully, and after a while the same thing repeats ... How to deal with this if I cannot and do not want to leave him. Liana Radaman ".

What to do if your husband beats you, psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers:

Unfortunately, it is very likely that in this situation there seems to be no choice - to live with such a husband or not. And not because you do not want to leave him. Because you really can't.

Because he won't let you go. He really, really needs you. The husband beats you, because while accumulating various negative impressions throughout the day, in the evening he suddenly throws them out and he just physically needs at this time to have someone next to him on whom he could be discharged.

As the saying goes, as a punching bag. And it looks like he chose you for this role. It is also possible that your husband wants to show his masculine strength(plus our society actually requires this from him), but psychologically he is weak, at least he does not feel that he can keep you around him by a different, non-violent method.

And your husband beats you so that, excuse me, "the woman knows her place and is afraid of her husband." This is how he immediately feels " strong man". But that's all about him. Why do you need it like that? There may be several reasons.

If you depend on him only financially, it is much easier to cope with this (although, perhaps, everything is already so neglected that you have forgotten how to take care of yourself and it is easier for you to endure the beatings than to perceive the prospect of your own independence). But I suspect your attraction to your husband is even more confusing.

It happens that wives sometimes themselves (often completely unaccountably), as it were, provoke their husbands to aggression against them, to fight, to beating, just so that after this fight, the husband would ask them for forgiveness. First, the husband beats, then he tries to make amends.

Only in this way can these women feel like people, and not "second class sex." This is the only way they are able to assert themselves, or even feel some kind of superiority at least over their own husbands ... And for the sake of this feeling, women sacrifice both independence and, in many respects, security.

I don’t want to scare you, but keep in mind that in such cases, when the husband beats, there is always the possibility that the “provoked husband” one day will not calculate the force of the blow ... and there will be no one to ask for forgiveness.

“We have lived together for 4 years. Everything was going well, I sacrificed a lot for love. But recently I stopped fulfilling the whims of my “half”, because any person has his own purpose in life. Since then he was replaced: not a day without reproach, without insult. My husband makes fun of me.

He found a trick - to blame everyone for his failures (friends, family), and he doesn't let go, he lets go, humiliates, blackmails with loved ones, takes revenge on all the friends and acquaintances around me, forbade any communication without his permission. “Better to put me in jail” and “You can think of me as a beast” are his favorite phrases.

What about a person who scoffs and recognizes only his opinion, communicates only with those who look into his mouth, cannot live without lies and exaggeration, goes to great lengths not to be caught in the wrong? Maybe he's just cowardly and short person? Are my fears correct, and how to get out of these fetters? Daria Pleshko ".

What to do if the husband mocks his wife, psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers:

The most common type of domestic violence is the husband bullying his wife. That is, a man is so psychologically weak (even if he has at least three times pumped up muscles) that he does not hope to keep his wife by verbal influence, and he often simply does not have words - his intellect has pumped up.

Then he starts wielding fists and threats: "If you think of running away, I'll kill you!" Such a male simply does not see any other way to keep a woman near him. And sometimes the husband mocks physically - male violence occurs without the use of physical force at all.

The husband mocks his wife, establishes his own rules in the house, sharply restricts his wife's rights, makes unfounded claims ... Such a family dictator, firstly, has a distorted concept of justice ("I can do anything"), and secondly, an internal low self-esteem , in which he does not even admit to himself, and even more so all the time he will prove to others that "he is not like that, he is a ruble more expensive."

And thirdly, with all this, he has a frank desire for power. And he takes this power by methods of psychological violence only because he is afraid: he might not be able to do it any other way.

But starting a discussion of your specific situation will not have to be with his personality, but with yours. Having got married, you easily obeyed your beloved and "went under his arm." Most likely, this is not your fault, but a misfortune, but, nevertheless, you taught him for four whole years to think: dear, I am your uncomplaining thing, do with "me what you want, I will sacrifice everything for you!"

In the meantime, you have ceased to be afraid of life, have matured, grown as a person ... All this is wonderful for you, but not for your husband. His independence and the manifestation of some kind of ambition are elementary frightening. In response, your husband mocks you.

Imagine that you are, say, moving furniture around the house and placing your own closet(sorry for the comparison) to one place or another. And suddenly the closet starts to rest and yell:

“I don’t want to stand there, I won’t!” Why is there a wardrobe - remember the famous children's "horror films" about Moidodyr ("the blanket ran away, the sheet flew away") or about Fedorin's grief!

Right now, in the eyes of your spouse, your behavior is just like the riot of his own blanket or kitchen utensils. Yes, as long as you obeyed him, he felt good. And now he is scared. And fear, as you know, paralyzes the will and reason.

So he shouts at you in a rage, and blackmails, the husband scoffs and spreads his hands - he just lost control of himself, he is all in power own fear... And it is obvious that he has something to be afraid of: perhaps he is not too strong psychologically, moreover, apparently, he himself does not know how to rise - it is easier for him to trample others in the mud.

He also chose you sometime for your dumbness and obedience ... And now, wanting to keep you, or rather "put you in place", to return to the position of a humiliated thing, he chooses not the most adequate means. For example, he begins to intimidate you: “let me sit down” ... And they will jail him, as he hints, because he will mutilate or kill you. He wants you to consider him a beast, that is, to be afraid ...

Yes, your fears are justified. Moreover, it comes about your physical safety. So if you yourself are not a masochist, you really need to leave urgently - if not run away! The husband scoffs and will not stop doing it just like that, because he will change his mind.

But this must be done with the support of an experienced lawyer (and even law enforcement agencies) and a consultant psychologist or psychotherapist. Otherwise, your spouse, hearing about your desire to leave, will not break wood yet!

Spouses are often involved in criminal beatings. Domestic violence has always been one of the most widespread types of crimes for causing harm to human health.

Since 2017, the article on battery has been partially decriminalized. Isolated episodes of domestic violence have been decriminalized.

Beatings inflicted by relatives or spouses are no longer a criminal offense. They are regulated by the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. However, for the correct qualification of what happened, all the circumstances of the crime are taken into account when the husband beat his wife.

What threatens him in this case? How should a wife act if her husband raises his hand to her?

Not every beating of his wife by a husband will qualify under the heading "Beatings". For qualification, the circumstances of the offense and, above all, the degree of harm caused are taken into account.

After all, you can beat your wife in different ways. Sometimes the beating ends with the death of the spouse. In this case, there can be no question of beatings.

In the current legislation, there are three degrees of harm to health:

The severity of the harm caused by the conclusion of the forensic medical examination is determined.

It will depend on the degree of severity under which article your husband will be judged. The main thing in this case is to fix the beatings in a medical institution on time and as quickly as possible.

Moreover, the most important factor, besides the degree of damage, for the correct qualification is the frequency of committing such crimes by the tyrant husband.

The first attempt at committing beatings is classified as an administrative offense, and a repeat offense is a criminal offense.

Punishment under the new law for beatings under Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation is possible only when several attempts are made to beat the wife.

The first episode of the beatings has been decriminalized. This is considered an administrative offense.

What will happen to the husband if the wife removed the beating depends on what will be indicated in the medical report. This document is the main guideline for initiating a criminal case and sentencing.

In 2017, Art. 1, which deals with cases of family battering.

Consideration of administrative cases under Art. 6.1.1 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation is dealt with by the magistrate's court.

Cases are initiated by the police, after which the material is submitted to the court for consideration. Both parties are required to participate in the hearing.

As punishment, a tyrant husband may face:

Compulsory work up to 120 hours;
Arrest up to 15 days;
The fine is from 5 to 30 thousand rubles.

The fine is imposed in favor of the state, that is, in fact, the spouse will not receive anything... To compensate for the harm caused to her, she will have to go to court in civil procedure.

The guilty person is obliged to submit to the court a receipt for the payment of the fine, otherwise new administrative material will be initiated for non-payment of the sanction.

As a rule, the courts under this article are limited to a fine of 5 thousand rubles..

In theory, the spouses have the right to reconcile in court, then no punishment will be imposed. In practice, some of the judges do not conciliate the parties under this article.

In addition, it is not uncommon for the courts to receive counter materials of administrative offenses, when each of the parties is damaged during the course of a conflict.

If the guilty person has previously been subjected to administrative arrest for beatings, he will face criminal liability for a new episode.

For his actions to be qualified as beatings, it is necessary that the harm caused by him does not correspond to the mild degree of damage to the victim's health.

According to Art. 116.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, the culprit will face the following punishment:

Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation can be applied only when hooligan motives or hatred on racial, political, ethnic or religious grounds are traced in the actions and motives of the husband.

That is, if the husband hits his wife because she does not agree with his political and religious views, Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation will come into play.

What other article for beating a wife by a husband in Russia is provided as an alternative, besides those that have already been considered earlier?

So, depending on the husband's motives, the degree of damage caused and the frequency of episodicity, other articles of the Code may also apply.

In particular, these include:

In addition, the husband can do harm in a state of passion, in the same state he can kill his wife.... In this case, the responsibility will be more serious.

If the wife is beaten to the husband, one should not hesitate and forgive. One hit yesterday in a bad mood, today can turn into a fatal one.

First you need to decide where to go in such a situation. There are many instances in the country, but one should start with the lowest and more accessible.

The procedure for the victim should be as follows:

Immediately after a family conflict, you should contact the emergency room;
There, go through the inspection and get your hands on the original of the certificate certified by the seal;
With this certificate, you must go to the police station to write and submit an application.

You have the right to apply by law to any police station, but it is better to file an appeal at the place of the incident.

The application is required to be written in two copies in order to control the time frame for its consideration by law enforcement agencies.

On the second copy, the police officer must put a mark of acceptance. In addition, you are required to issue a notification coupon with information about the receipt of a response to the consideration of the application.

The application should be made according to the following rules:

When the wife wrote the statement, the police are obliged to check the circumstances of the case set out in it.... The police can either initiate criminal proceedings or administrative material, or refuse to initiate proceedings. In the latter case, the husband will be warned and registered.

If the refusal of the police to initiate a case seems to you unreasonable, you can contact the prosecutor's office. There they will conduct an investigation and initiate a case. In addition, the prosecutor's office can punish a negligent police officer.

For 2019 under Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, the injured party can independently apply to the court with a statement to initiate a criminal case by way of private accusation.

What to do from a legal point of view when the husband hit his wife? It is required to prove your legal position in court.

An important piece of evidence is a certificate of the removed beatings.... But when the wife calls the police at the time of the conflict, she does not have the opportunity to go to the hospital on her own and receive a certificate.

At the time of the conflict, when the police arrive, you should ask the employees to call ambulance to fix beatings.

Of course, if the husband beat his wife to a pulp, doctors will not have questions about the nature of the injuries. But when minor abrasions and bruises are inflicted on the wife, a delay in contacting a medical institution for 3-4 days may be grounds for refusing to initiate a case.

In addition to a certificate in court more value testimony of witnesses will play as evidence... If anyone has seen or heard your conflict, these witnesses must be declared in court.

If possible, immediately after the incident, take a photo of yourself with your phone so that you can see the damage. If the blows were inflicted with any object, it is better to remove it immediately so that the husband does not have the opportunity to destroy it.

If you really think that you are in danger, you can show self-defense. The main thing in this case is not to exceed its limits, otherwise you yourself, and not your husband, will be the defendants in the criminal case.

Family tyranny must be punished to the fullest extent of the law... The decriminalization of the article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation does not mean that husbands now have the right to beat their wives and not be held responsible for this.

The Criminal Code of the Russian Federation will forgive them only a single episode of beatings. For a second similar offense, the attacker will face a more severe punishment.

You do not need to endure torture and beatings, you need to defend your rights and not put your children at risk.

Do you want to finally stop bullying yourself?
We hope that our tips and the method described in this article will help you get rid of domestic violence.

Client notes:“My husband beats me. After his beatings, I have bruises on my body.
I have to cover them with clothes and hide them with makeup so that no one
did not see.
The worst thing is that my son sees such an attitude of a father to a mother -
everything happens before his eyes.
I no longer have the strength to endure my husband's beatings. Of course he apologizes, he says
that he will not do this in the future - and after a while he hits me again.
I finally decided that it shouldn't go on like this. "
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In a situation where a woman is exposed to domestic violence, she needs to do important choice: continue to endure bullying or change your life.

Modeling behavior

If a woman has decided break up with my husband who beats her, she must first understand the reasons for her behavior in the family. Otherwise, there is a possibility that such a relationship will be repeated at other times, with another man.

After all, the woman did not understand why her husband beat her. Why is this happening to her? Why did she allow herself to be treated this way?

Exactly - allowed ...

After all, if she had stopped such an attitude towards herself at the very beginning, when her husband hit her for the first time, now she would not suffer from periodically repeated beatings.

If your husband doesn't change, if he doesn't stop hitting you, you will leave.

In both the first and second scenarios, both husband and wife need to understand the causes of domestic violence and how to get rid of it.

Our behavior in life and in the family is conditioned by upbringing.

From the very childhood, we follow the example of our parents. Yes, we know they don't always do the right thing. But we have no choice but to unconsciously follow their example. We are prisoners of their family behavior.
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Our understanding of family is shaped by the relationship between our parents.
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But you are not to blame for doing the same as your parents! Just another example, besides the parent, you have not seen in childhood.

But now you have grown up. And you yourself can build your family - the way you want.

Why does your husband behave this way towards you, why does he beat you? To find the answer to this question, you first need to determine the reason for his aggressive behavior. And having identified the reason, we will learn how to change it.

Why does a husband raise his hand against his wife?

So, we found out that the upbringing and atmosphere in the parental family influence the formation of the child's personality. They contribute to the choice of him life path, behavior, attitudes, beliefs.

It is good when a child grows up in a psychologically healthy family, where he is taken care of, where he is respected, where his opinion is taken into account and where they help him to become a full-fledged person. But families are different. And the climate in them is not always favorable for the cultivation of a young personality.

Aggression by a husband and his cruel behavior towards his wife is often rooted in childhood, in the parental family. Most likely, he was often offended as a child: beaten, mocked, humiliated. As a result, a man grew up, insecure in himself, who now asserts himself by showing his physical strength over more a weak person- wife.

Sometimes a man's self-esteem does not suffer, but in his subconsciousness the behavior of his father towards his mother, in those moments when he beat her, has already been deposited.

Now a man automatically reproduces the same model of behavior - but in his family.

How can a man overcome negative subconscious attitudes and stereotypes?

First, understand that its behavior is inheritance from its parent.
Secondly, to realize that this is not correct.
Third, firmly decide that he wants to change.

A man needs to learn to develop a different model of behavior.

Why is a woman exposed to domestic violence?

The woman, most likely, also carries an unconscious childhood trauma. Perhaps, as a child, she was bullied by her father or mother, or someone else from the family. She - a victim by nature.
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Until a woman realizes this fact, until she understands her behavior and her
beliefs until she learns to love herself and be confident, she over and over again
will be exposed to domestic violence.
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Realize that your problems come from childhood, that you behave in the same way as your father and mother in your childhood. But then you were small and defenseless. And now you - grown woman, which itself has the right to decide how to live!

Take, for example, an activity that has long attracted you. This will make you feel more confident and happy. You deserve all the best! Remember this.

Understanding the causes and consequences of domestic violence is very important! You understand that once again someone can go too far in a quarrel and be seriously hurt, or, God forbid, an outbreak of aggression will lead to fatal consequences.

In addition, it is not only you who are suffering, your children are also suffering. They are not on their own become witnesses of your quarrels with your husband.
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Think: what a happy family future can your children have?
if there is no other example, except for mockery of the object of their love - they do not know?! ..
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Your children, just like you in childhood, unknowingly inherit the behavior of their parents. They will transfer your model of behavior to their future family - as you once did.

Someone has to break this vicious circle. It is you who are able to change the situation for the better and build a warmer relationship with your husband! Realize the severity of the problem. Get ready for a change.

Of course, changes will take time and patience, as well as the help of a psychologist.
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Important reminder!
Promise yourself: if your husband does not want or cannot change, you will leave him.
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How can a husband learn to control his aggression?

Often the husband beats his wife because he does not know how to get rid of aggression in any other way. Aggression builds up in him and increases during a quarrel. He needs to learn how to manage his feelings.

Before you two effective ways how to help your husband cope with aggression:

1. A man can learn to express his emotions in words rather than actions. A simple phrase "I'm angry with you" is more effective than a fist.

2. A man can develop the habit of channeling aggression in a less destructive direction - sports, physical exercise and loads.

In the first version, a man speaks out his emotions and thereby frees himself from them. After all, aggression is accumulation negative emotions and releasing them when a person can no longer restrain them in himself.

In the second case, a man gives feelings a harmless way out - by physical work or sports.

How should a woman behave?

There is such a pattern in relationships: if one changes, other family members change. It is a fact. But before you change, you and your husband need to realize that changes are vital for you, for your family.

You, as a wife, need to support your husband from the very beginning if he decides to change for the better.

Praise him for his successes, encourage him with words. Show by your actions and behavior that you are with him, that you share his intention to change.

Think, would you be pleased if you were told every day that you are bad, ugly and the like? On the contrary, it is necessary to encourage the behavior of the husband, who is clearly making progress towards better change.

What about children?

Children who have seen their father beat their mother more than once feel hatred for the parent - they are afraid and do not respect their father.
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Children, when they grow up, will respond to brute physical strength with the same strength.
and the same attitude towards a person.
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Do you want that? Do you want your kids to despise and hate you?

If you decide to live a different life and build strong relationships in your family, first gain trust and respect from your children in a new way. By your actions and words, you must restore close and trusting relationships with children.

Children should not be afraid of you, children should respect you!

* * *

Want to stop violence in your family once and for all? Take action now. Now you know a little more about the methods to bring peace of mind to the family, and you can put them into practice.

Remember: Domestic Violence Can Be Stopped!
Change! You are worthy of happiness!