Low self-esteem in a teenager. Understated self-esteem in adolescents and methods of its overcoming

Low self-esteem of teenagers.

Mortification, a person passes through several stages of his personal formation: infancy, childhood, adolescence, youth. Each of these periods is unique and in its own way to form a person.

But teachers and psychologists allocate as the main period still teenage, because at this age, in 12-16 years old, the tasks of personal growth stand in front of a person, which, he often experiences pretty difficulties. What kind of tasks? If not to concern the processes of biological adults, which themselves cause many difficulties and require special attention, then, first of all, this is awareness of themselves in the group, in the family, assessing yourself as a person. This awareness is differently called self-esteem. This is what determination of self-esteem gives the "Psychological Dictionary": "Self-esteem is a component of self-consciousness, including along with knowledge about himself an assessment by man of its physical characteristics, abilities, moral qualities and actions."

Self-assessment is formed both in the process of adolescent, and in the process of interpersonal interaction and there are three types:

2. Heavy when the teenager reassets himself;

3. Low, inadequate self-esteem, when the teenager does not evaluate himself.

Low self-esteem occurs on the basis of the psychological instability of the teenager to the effects of various subjects interpersonal communication. In other words, the teenager changes his opinion about himself, depending on the situation of communication, from the attitude towards him of others. And the strongest for the self-esteem of the teenager is influenced by family and classmates. Job with low self-esteem is anxious, it feats from wide social contactsAt the same time, it shows signs of egocentrism, it is difficult for him to leave difficult situations. Often, his behavior is characterized by a depressive state, but some researchers note that the teenager in the state of depression has low self-esteemAnd others - that low self-esteem entails such degrading implications for the individual as a depressive state.

Who or what can influence the self-esteem of the teenager? Eight years it is:

Success at school

External appeal

Physical abilities

Adoption in the group

School behavior.

Only two, behavior and performance, which will influence the adolescence and performance of these criteria, will affect the assessment of the teenager in the family, the other three criteria will form a teenager's self-esteem in a significant teenage environment for him. Role family in the formation of adequate self-esteem is difficult to overestimate: in the family on symmetric relationships based on a democratic education style, as a rule, there are no teenagers with low self-esteem. In the family, where the child is imposed in high school requirements, sports, the manifestation of creative abilities and at the same time communication is built in an authoritarian style where the manifestation of rudeness is often Inventing offensive jokes and nickname, the presence of low self-esteem in a teenager is not surprising. But the teenager often, striving to get away from the pressure of the family, goes into the so-called reference group, where his self-esteem can increase due to what is accepted in this group. It may be smoking, drinking alcoholic beverages, following some particular style of clothing and behavior (informal groups: Goths, emo, etc.). Teenager is important to feel the adoption by the group so that its self-esteem has increased.

1. Try to understand that the child's life belongs to himself, do not demand perfection from him in everything, avoid perfectionism.

2. Form a realistic look at life: do not humiliate, but also do not intercept the child.

3. Look for the keys to mutual understanding with your children, more often talk to them that it is important for them. Share your life experience.

4. Parently pick up the style of communication with the child, avoid ironic and frankly mocking statements in his address.

5. Do not be afraid to confess to children in your mistakes, ask for forgiveness, if not right, trust your children.

What to do, if something is missing, and the child is clearly understated self-esteem, his behavior has changed, how to help him?

Write together with a teenager 5-7 sentences, in which he will tell about himself in a positive formulation, for example: "I know how to ride a roller well" or "I always come in time." Find together with the child the best thing is that it has, convince him of its own uniqueness and need. More often, read this list, add new items to it, and you yourself will not notice how its self-esteem will begin to rise, and with it and its attitude to life.

Reducing self-esteem is the inevitable component of adolescence. But the anxiety and insecurity of the child can be aggravated, and it is possible, on the contrary, let him believe in his strength. Parents still have many ways to influence a teenager, although it seems sometimes removed.

Of course, you have been convinced of your own experience in how well know that there is one who supports you is on your side. And on the contrary, how badly feel lonely and rejected.

And if there is a period in a person's life when it is important to have someone on your side, this is a transitional age. Our children rush forward without any experience, so they need to assist on our part - by adults.

To be on the side of the teenager in practice means to be sensitive, actively listen, to demonstrate interest, maintain trust and contact, even if an adult child behaves stupid. It is necessary to understand what is happening, however, to continue to relate to it with warmth. Below is an inspiring example of such a relationship.

Causes of understated self-esteem in children

What to do parents?

Be a worthy example

In most cases, an apple from the apple tree falls near: adolescents are focused on parents as a sample to follow and end in many ways like mother and father.

Thus, the preferences associated with the use of alcohol are formed in young people under the influence that they are watching at home, and this influence is much stronger than it may seem at first glance. The level of education of the majority of young people corresponds to the level of parental education, and their political ViewsAs a rule, similar to the parent.

We tend to underestimate the strength of our own influence on adolescents. What we do, as we do, has no less meaning than our words. If you say daughters, that you can not spend a lot of time at the computer, and you yourself do not take off your iPad, then your words are just an empty sound.

Try as accurately in combining words with the case so that your instructions do not contradict the behavior that you demonstrate a teenager.

Praise

All people are looking for adoption, we all wish to like others. This is the basis of our nature, because we are rapid animals, and most of all we want to be part of social community.

When parents, teachers and other adults notice the achievements and ability of the teenager, express him approval, the moments of a small and large triumph arise: "I can!", "I like me!". Such experiences awaken the determination and faith in their capabilities, strengthen self-esteem.

What to praise? For example, when a child:

• did something that requires effort;
• performed some kind of work;
• showed the quality we appreciate;
• did what we asked about;
• coped with something;
• was friendly and responsive;
• showed courage.

As well as in a variety of other situations.

When you praise a teenager, then tell him immediately about many things. First, praise, of course, consolidates the skill or a trait about which this is speech: "You made so well homework" Secondly, praise affects the deeper level. A teenager who praises, feels that he is taking that parents want to see in it good ("they see what I really try"). Therefore, praise expands the possibilities effective communication With a teenager, while the swearing restricts them.

Work on yourself

Adolescents (like small children) can be larch to touched into us some strings - and then we begin to act automatically, which is not always rational. We have already talked about the feeling of impotence that easily arises when the teenager does not do as we want. However, not only it activates in parents " alarm button" Here are some examples from life.

• Mother began to lose confidence when he found that men look no longer on her hazardous sixteen-year-old daughter. She began to compete with her in the expression of sexuality. The girl noticed the behavior of the mother and found him disgusting.
• Father knocked out from the gauge what the fourteen-year-old son lied him in football. He began to keep retired and cold. The young man felt some strange feeling of shame and really did not understand how to behave himself.
• Father came into rage when the children demonstrated signs of indecision and cowardice. The children were frightened and began to behave more cowfully.

Such irrational adult reactions are always based on something, there is always some kind of prehistory. Sometimes it happens to deal with this: saying the reason that launches in us alarm, we can take it. What happened to the Father from the last example.

The family was aimed at consulting a psychologist, because at school, where the eldest son studied (fifteen years), began to notice his increasing depression. Briefly discussed the current situation, the psychologist asked the Father about his own childhood: "Did you happen to be afraid of yourself? Did you happen that you were under? ". Father thought about and replied: "Yes, I was afraid of what was afraid when I was very small. Spiders, for example. - "How did your parents react to this?" - asked the psychologist. Father's face ran shadow. It was seen that he was excited. "I suddenly remembered how my father went out and angry when I was a child, and how it was scary then. I suddenly understood what I had to my son, "said Father with a trembling voice.

For the Father, the conversation with a psychologist became an important turning point. A sudden discovery made him radically change his behavior towards his son. He no longer allowed himself outbreaks of anger and asked for forgiveness, if he still fell.

All parents have their own pain. Your task is to understand what provokes you, knocks out of the rut and makes you lose my head. Self-treatment and self-esteem of your child will benefit when you take responsibility for your reactions. Especially if these reactions destroy the contact between you and the child.

Features of psychology teenagers

In psychology there are special exercises and techniques to help improve the self-esteem of the teenager:

Self-assessment is very important for personality formation. If it is objective, and a person since childhood is able to really appreciate its capabilities and a place in society, it is the main step towards successful life. Initially, children have an impeccable feeling of perception of themselves, but over time it is subjected to various changes due to the influence of parents and the surrounding people.

An understated self-esteem in children and adolescents is negatively affecting their adaptation in society and becomes misunderstanding in the family and the team. The child feels constant insecurity, which contributes to the formation of an inferiority complex.

Signs of uncertainty

Self-assessment is formed under the influence of internal and external factors, including personal achievements, appearance, weight, social status of parents and an assessment of the surrounding people. There are a number of signs for which it is possible to identify a low self-esteem, depending on the individual characteristics of the person and its behavior as a whole:

1. 1. The child always tries to sit down with the edge, crosses his legs, that is, intentionally close from the people around.
2. 2. Often children and teenagers, insecure in themselves, are introverts, that is, they direct their emotions inside themselves.
3. 3. There is aggressiveness in communicating with people, since the disbelief in own forces It gives rise to distrust of others.
4. 4. Painful reaction to any manifestation of criticism, which is expressed in excessive plasticity.
5. 5. In adolescence, understated self-esteem is expressed in excessive self-confidence, which is due to the desire to stand out from the crowd with its originality.
6. 6. The obsessive desire to be first. Self-confident personalities do not need the need to prove their individuality and superiority.
7. 7. Upflower appearance, the child does not care what it looks.
8. 8. Tikhaya inadless speech And the presence of habits are constantly apologizing without apparent reason.
9. 9. Permanent self-adhesiveness and increased self-criticism of their actions.
10. 10. Hooligan behavior, by humiliation of other children, insecure personalities are trying to increase their self-esteem.

Children with understated self-esteem always compare themselves with others, and always in favor of the latter. Against this, they prohibit themselves to rejoice, since they are convinced that unworthy of happiness is due to their inferiority. In this case, children feel lonely and do not participate in common games or other activities together with peers. Therefore, in case of occurrence conflict situations They do not find support in the team.

Characteristic signs of uncertainty can occur in children in various combinations or separately.

Main reasons

Experts believe that the reasons for the appearance of low self-esteem in children depend on heredity, upbringing and environment.

At the age of 7 years, the formation of self-assessment occurs under the influence of parents and teachers, so the more children will feel care, attention and love in the family, the more confident will feel in the team. But since 12 years old, self-esteem begins to form depending on the relationship of classmates and communicating with them.

Each person is individual, but sometimes because of his heredity, he feels infallible: congenital disease, disability, type of temperament, mental abilities. All this is capable of forming a set of insolvency on the background of peers. Sometimes the cause of low self-esteem is overweight or predisposition to the fullness, which is postponing a negative imprint on consciousness and generates children a sense of inferiority.

The costs of education that contribute to the emergence of underestimated self-assessment can be expressed both in the excessive care of parents and in the absence of trust family relationshipsThat is why children closes and consider themselves the reason for dislike by adults. Often parents, comparing their child with other children, emphasize that his performance is not as good as in classmates, etc. The child begins to emerge uncertainty in their own power. As a rule, men and women, brought up in a similar way, are not able to instill their children confidence in themselves, since they themselves do not understand what it is.

Social contacts of children outside families with peers, teachers, familiar, too, are able to form a low self-esteem. The humiliation from classmates, intimidation by teachers lead to the appearance of depression and cause insecurity. The opinion of the teacher for children of junior and middle school age is especially important, when students perceive his words as a capital truth.

Most often, children and adolescents are susceptible to low self-assessment, which are deprived of parental care due to the circumstances. FROM early childhood They consider themselves imperfect and do not perceive themselves as a full-fledged person, considering their existence as an interference to others amazing against the background of the sensation of defenselessness and lack of support for loved ones.

Methods of improving self-esteem

Launched self-esteem is a serious obstacle to the achievement of the goals and further personal development. Her danger is that the children's unsure of themselves constantly feel the feeling of fear, guilt and their own inferiority, thereby gradually pulling away from the people around. As a result, in adulthood, a person feels his emotional and bodily frost and hesitates to express his opinion to others.

The surrounding unconsciously perceive the person on his self-esteem. Accordingly, than it is lower - the worse the attitude.

The feeling of understated self-esteem in adolescence is particularly sharpened against the background of the development of fictional complexes and shortcomings. If this does not stop and not explain to the son or daughter, how to correctly evaluate your data and capabilities, then a negative imprint may remain for life. In such a period, parents should be particularly attentive to recognize the problem on time and help get rid of the child from internal complexes.

1. 1. Exclude when communicating unreasonable criticism. To indicate the child for an error, the criticism should be sent to his actions.
2. 2. Recognition of the child's personality. Should provide children with the opportunity to take independent solutions, voice your opinion, have personal interests.
3. 3. Regular praise. Children need constant approval of their achievements, so they must be praised as much as possible - it will give them faith in their own strength and will strengthen the feeling of their significance in the family. If a schoolboy does not work out something, it is not necessary to scold it, it is better to offer assistance and try to develop his talents in another field.
4. 4. Help in self-realization. Sometimes in school, children cannot self-realize, as they do not fall under the stereotypes of this team. Parents must offer their children to attend any sports section or a circle so that he can get acquainted with new people and implemented in another team on the basis of his own interests. At the same time, choose the lesson should a teenager himself.
5. 5. To teach say "no" if necessary. Children with low self-esteem do not actually know how to deny others, as they want to feel their significance. But sometimes they are simply used for mercenary purposes, which has nothing to do with respect. It is necessary to teach a child to say "no" in such situations and help recognize ill-wishers, discussing a concrete case with him.
6. 6. Support and show respect.

If the problem of low self-esteem persists in a teenager for a long time, a psychologist or psychotherapist will help to get rid of uncertainty. The lack of timely adjustment of behavior may cause aggravation of the complex of inferiority and turn into depression or neurosis.

Low self-esteem in adolescents - a spread phenomenon. If you tend to overestimate your abilities with small children (I can, everything I know, I know everything - I am the best), then when you achieve teenage age, the child begins to look at himself completely different eyes (is I good and is it good and is it good at all?).

He also affects the sexual ripening, and an awakening interest and a desire to like the opposite sex, and the first serious acquaintance with adult life, for example, the need to qualitatively and in time perform school tasks, participate in public Life, make independent decisions.

The overwhelming majority of adolescents react to these changes with a sharp decline in self-esteem and self-confidence. And here the parents should come to the rescue. So how to help your child in adolescence to increase their self-esteem?

Low self-esteem in one way or another is the problem of any teenager. But for some children this period quickly passes, not leaving no negative consequencesAnd others, without exaggeration, there are psychologically problems that are able to pretty spoil life even to an adult person.

In the first case, no special care for the outside adolescent is required. Parents need only to be attentive, benevolent and sincere in relation to their children, the second case requires serious support.

How to distinguish the first option from the second?

Signs of low self-esteem in a teenager:

• handicraft (noisy party or campaign in cinema with classmates Your child prefers evening in her room);
• the closure (the teenager is reluctant to share with you not only experiences, but also just events from his life);
• a teenager refuses anything new in his life (new friends, new classes, fearing to be incomprehensible or ridiculous);
• deterioration of the results of study (fear of becoming "White Voronov");
• strong dependence on the opinions of others (if someone in the class calls the new cap of your child funny, he will never put it down more, even if he really liked her);
• explicit imitation of someone from the peers, usually informal leader of the company (hairstyle, clothing, accessories, jargon, behavior manner in separate situations);
• frequent attacks of a falconic and even panic setting (no one loves me, I don't need anyone, I am a loser, I'm a freak, why I live, etc.);
• too close attention his appearance (screaming makeup, causing clothes) or full indifference to their appearance (demonstrative disregard for their clothes, shoes, hairstyle - why, if I'm worse than everyone);
• the constant comparing itself with others, of course, not in its favor (Dasha is cool, she has a new iPhone, Igor Cool Dae, the marina has long legs, and I am poor, fat, okhakarik, stupid and the like).

Of course, to the analysis of these signs you need to approach weightedly. Even the most confident teenager (as well as an adult) can experience the periods of despondency and disbelief in their own strength. But if your child has a minimum of 2-3 of the listed, he exactly needs your help.

Unfortunately, many parents are too frightly belong to the fact that their child has a low self-esteem. Well, this age is, will pass, they are sure. Alas, it does not always take place along with adolescence, but passing, leaves completely unnecessary complexes and other psychological problems.

The child grows insecure in itself, dependent on someone else's opinion, easy to manipulate the man, who will have problems at work and in personal life. Such a person is almost impossible to achieve self-realizer and vitality.

In addition to the negative consequences of the complexes ingrained due to the low self-assessment, teenagers inherent in themselves often fall into bad companies with the most bad plots. In an effort to find a team, where their appearance, behavior and other important things will be approved will definitely fall under the influence of various passing, and here it is not far to trouble.

What is your parents? Do not sit on the sidelines, watching changes in the child, and take the situation under control. About how to do it right, read on.

How to help raise self-esteem teenage

Do not criticize

Criticism is what should be forgotten when communicating with a teenager. The problem is that in most cases we do not know how to criticize correctly, be sure to pass on the person. Not "You're poorly removed in the room today," and "you are sludge." But if an adult adequately appreciates such a statement, then for a teenager it will become another reason for low self-esteem.

You want to fix something, choose neutral phrases. Instead of the estimated "you - slug" you can say: "You do not interfere with things on the floor? If you need to help with cleaning, call. "

Not compare with others

At all. That is, not only not to talk about what Vanya is well done, because I passed English to the maximum score, and you, seey lazy and trouble, barely scored required minimum, and not even praise for the fact that you turned out to be better than Petit. Any comparisons say a teenager only about one thing - it is compared and assessed by how much it is better or worse than the rest.

Instead, make your child the center of the universe. What is your business to some Petit or Vasi? Compare His successes or failures only with his past successes or failures. Moreover, it is necessary to do it solely constructively - for praise or clarify the reasons from which you can fight.

Do not discuss a child with outsiders

"I have such a shy", "And we are so bad math gives" or "nothing, we would lose a little bit and there will be a beauty," said in the presence of a teenager, able to plunge your child literally depressed. Make sure that you are talking not only to him, but also about him.

In general, it is advisable to never discuss your child with any of the strangers, if you do not want to lose his trust, of course. But if someone from your acquaintances obsessively asks about success in school or something else, it is enough to remember something that your child is really successful.

Help achieve success

But only be proud of the success of the child is not enough - it is important to help him become successful. Encourage in it the desire for new hobbies, knowledge, activities. Light the spark and be always there. Of course, it is not a fact that your son or your daughter will become a brilliant athlete, a dancer, photographer or polyglot. But now it does not matter. More importantly, the child can feel your support and willingness to be with him next to all his endeavors.

Create a favorable setting for its comprehensive development. Your efforts will turn around with a hundredfold.

Reckon with his opinion

Teach yourself to reckon with the opinion of the child. The teenage "riot" often is a consequence of the wrong behavior of parents who are trying to keep their child in the framework of the behavior of a small child. Your child becomes an adult, and with this circumstance will have to accept.

Give him freedom: choose friends, hobby, pastime. This is not at all permissiveness and lack of control. This is the normal communication of adults who have the right to choose.

Especially delicate need to be if. Even if you do not like the chosen one or daughter's chosen one, show patience and do not start talking about it from pressure or threats.

Help with outwardly

Teens often inadequately evaluate their appearance. Equiming the idols, consider themselves very thin, thick, small, long-standing ... Help your child look better. Go to the beauty salon, pick up a haircut, buy good things in that style it prefers. Teach to emphasize the dignity.

If there is some kind of appearance real problem (Although these problems are more often inflated), admit it. Do not let the situation on Samotek.

Overweight, acne, acne, abundant dandruff - it's not a little thing. And for a teenager, this is generally serious problems that poison life. Children are cruel, and your child to stretch peers, and this increase self-esteem, as you understand, does not contribute.

Contact your specialists if necessary.

Do not refuse to buy "Dreams"

The last item, about which psychologists often silent. The material side of the question. Your son has long been asking for some kind electronic gadget? Does your daughter dream of a new-fashioned thing in which the recognized fashionable schools are fed? Do not disappear from such requests.

For teenagers, such things are not just things, it is some confirmation of status. All in the class have smartphones, and your child uses an old key model, because "the child is enough"? Then do not be surprised if the child begins to avoid society of peers.

Of course, it's not worth going on all requests, but periodically pampering a teenager fashionable things just needed that he felt "his" in his party.

self-assessment Children's teenage personal

Self-assessment was the subject of a special study of a number of authors. As the study showed A.I. LipkinaLipkin A.I. Self-assessment of a schoolboy. - // Pedagogy and Psychology, №12, - 46 - 64 s., A large or less confidence of the student depends on self-esteem, attitude to the mistakes, difficulties learning activities. Junior schoolchildren with adequate self-esteem differed in activity, desire to achieve success in the teaching, manifestation of the maximum of independence. Most otherwise children with low self-esteem behaved. They showed uncertainty in themselves, were afraid of the teachers, waited for success, in the lessons they preferred to listen to others than themselves to be included in the discussion.

In his judgment A.I. Lapkin used a number of ways to increase the adequacy of self-esteem.

1. During the year, all children had to evaluate their work themselves before giving them to the teacher. Then the work was assessed by the teacher, cases of misband were discussed and the foundations were discussed on which the assessment of these works was built - on the one hand, and the teacher on the other. The degree of adequacy of the assessment of their work increased. If at the beginning of the school year, 80% of children rated their work on the score above, by the end of the year it was observed only in 20% of students.

2. Works performed in the classroom were distributed to mutual review. It was required to celebrate the advantages and disadvantages and express their opinion on the assessment. After reviewing, the work was returned to the author, and the student could analyze once again own workthat formed critical attitudes towards your own activity.

3. A poorly spent student with an understated self-esteem, a sharp decline in the motive of achievement was ordained to assist the loose younger schoolboyThat changed the socially personality position of the child, the nature of his activities, attitude towards himself. Improving self-esteem due to borrowing the position of the teacher in this case was a prerequisite for increasing the level of their own learning activities, changes to her.

Under what conditions comparing children with each other with a friend has the most favorable effect on the formation of self-assessment. The greatest effect was in the case when children were compared with the same capabilities (abilities), but by virtue of certain personal qualities (degree of diligence, organization, disciplinary) reaching in the teachings of different results. All estimates, comments, spoke in order to show that the lag or success in teaching depends on the relationship to work. In this class, it turned out to be the least children with incorrect self-esteem.

Close to these results turned out to be a class, to which each child was compared with himself, when the student was reported on the degree of its promotion compared to the previous level.

As the study showed A.I. LipkinaLipkin A.I. Self-assessment of a schoolboy. - // Pedagogy and Psychology, №12, - 46 - 64 p., The formation of proper self-assessment in the process of educational activities has a positive effect on academic performance, attitudes towards learning and in general on personality formation.

Schoolchildren with understated self-esteem must be engaged in self-education, which can be started with the study and application of eight ways to change self-esteem proposed by L. Basset (1997)

Methods for changing self-esteem

		Paths of execution
	Try more positive about life	Use the internal dialog with you, consisting only of positive statements. If negative thoughts occur, try to switch to a pleasant
	Treat people as they deserve	Listen in every person not shortcomings, but advantages
	Treat yourself with respect	Make a list of your advantages. Convince yourself that you have such
	Try to get rid of what you yourself do not like	Look more on yourself in the mirror, trying to answer the question: is it worth changing something in yourself. If yes - then do not postpone
	Start make a decision yourself	Remember that there are no correct and incorrect solutions. Any decisions you adopted you can always justify and justify
	Try to surround yourself with a positive effect on you.	Purchase your favorite books, tape recorders. Have and love your "weaknesses"
	Start risking	Take responsibility, let the share of risk can first be small
	Clean faith: in man, in circumstances, etc.	Remember that faith in something more significant than we ourselves can help us solve difficult issues. If you can not affect the course of events, "go to the side" and just wait

Socio-psychological training is one of the types of group psychological work School psychologist.

One of the forms of group work with adolescents is a personal growth training. This is a training for adolescents, without any mental abnormalities. Aims to solve the psychological tasks of this age. The age limits of the participants of the trainings are approximately such: 14 - 20 years. The age, in this case, is determined by the stage in the formation of the human concept, in which the specific tasks of this age, attributable to psychologists, to the transitional period from childhood to adolescence and maturity. The main task of this period is the formation of the main components I - the concept: primarily self-consciousness and on its basis - the system of worldview, beliefs, ideals, self-determination, etc. In accordance with this, training is built in such a way that, first to create conditions for personal growth, which will help adolescents and young men in solving their psychological tasks, questions, search for answers to which is vital to form a mature personality.

Training can be conducted 1 - 2 times a week, no less often. But not more often, with the exception of the summer labor camp, or any other situation in which the first time the familiar teenagers communicate with each other all 24 hours a day. Each lesson lasts, approximately 2.5 - 3 hours. The duration of the training itself is determined by the number of classes required to solve the teenager and the head of their tasks.

Approximate training program

Lesson number 1

Exercise 1. "I am me".

Students repeat the installation: " All over the world there is absolutely such (go) as me. I own everything that there is thoughts, feelings, actions. I own all my fantasies, dreams, dreams, desires. I own my victories and defeats, successes and failures, achievements and mistakes. I am me!"

Farewell ritual. Participants are transferred in a circle toy and say that the valuable was taken from the lesson.

Lesson number 2.

Purpose: awareness of their own individuality, taking itself as a person who has its own shortcomings and knows how to work on them; Increase tolerance in relation to others.

Materials: Plasticine or dough, tape recorder, calm music, crown.

Structure occupation

Exercise 1. "Greeting".

Participants welcome the participant who was chosen and throw a ball with the words: "Hello, ... .. I like in you that you ...", who received the ball throws him with another with the same words.

Exercise 2. "Mail Mode"(to the music).

Participants are invited to choose the plasticine of the color that he likes and cut out "My World" from him, or "My Soul World", "Plasticine City", etc. A child can offer a topic for sculpture. Then ask him to come up with and tell the story about it. The plasticity of the material allows the small sculptor to change its product repeatedly - for example, in the process of fantasy, it can add some elements or remove, give them new form. Thus, its emotional well-being corrected. The coach is important in the process of staging to emphasize the child's attention on positive moments and offer him to make new changes to the sculpture, which will make it even better and kinder.

Analysis and discussion of work.

Exercise 3. Test "Lestenka"

Participants are invited to draw a ladder and ask him to place all children familiar to him on this ladder.

On the three top steps, children are good: smart, good, strong, obedient - the higher, the better ("good", "very good", "the best"). And on the three lower steps - bad. The lower, the worse ("bad", "very bad", "the worst"). On the mid-step, children are not bad and not good. After that, ask the child to show what step the child will put himself, and explain why.

Discussion: "Are you so really or would like to be so?" Publish what you really and what would like to be. " After that, ask: "What step would mom (dad, grandmother, teacher and others) would put you on what step.

Exercise 4: "I am me!"

Students repeat the installation:

"I belong to myself and therefore I can build myself. I can be better and will be even better. Today I have every reason for a joyful and relaxed smile. IM proud of myself! I am me!"

Farewell ritual. Participants are taken by arms, they say goodbye and wish each other success.

Lesson number 3.

Purpose: Develop the ability of self-analysis, self-consciousness in children.

Determine the personal problems of the child and find possible paths their overcoming.

Materials: Sheets of paper for drawing, pencils, markers, paints, erasing gum, scissors, printed recommendations.

Structure occupation

Exercise 1. "Draw your fear."

The child is given a sheet of paper with squares drawn on it. Participants must draw their own fear (fears) in each of the squares. While the child draws, do not comment on his work and do not guide it. When he finishes, ask to tell about my picture, while trying to clarify all the details and specify common words. After prompted to cut squares with drawings and ask: what does the child himself want to do with them? Most likely, he will suggest destroy the drawings - for example, break them or burn. Let him fulfill it on his own, you should not help him.

The remaining stencil put on a blank sheet of paper and offer the child to fill out the place that was freed from fears, something pleasant for him. Let him determine what it will be - the sun, joy, friends, etc. When the drawing is ready, talk to the child - how does he feel now, what has changed in his condition?

Exercise 2. "My character."

Before you a circle, symbolizing your character. Examined the circle on the sectors corresponding to the magnitude of one way or another manifestation of each of the features of your character.

The remaining unrequited space mark as x - unknown, which is still not clear in yourself. The fill process can be demonstrated on the example of the known literary heroBy determining the character traits inherent in it and their share with the children on the board. For example, it may look like this:

Think, I would like to change anything in yourself? In accordance with this, remake the scheme: you need to shake unnecessary or interfering and add missing. Playing situations from different positions: 1) what I am now; 2) What I want to be.

Farewell ritual. The end of the training.

Here, and our classes ended. Each of us has determined all its weak and strengths, he did not notice before. Each of you I distribute the recommendations so that you sometimes read them and conceived about the attitude towards ourselves. I wish you all success!

1. Think on how much your opinion about yourself is the opinion of parents, classmates and friends?

2. Learn to listen to the opinion of other people, their approval or disapproval: after all, others can often appreciate you rather than you do it yourself.

3. Treat critical comments from comrades, parents or teachers as a constructive advice and "management to action", and not as a "annoying interference" or "misunderstanding you."

4. Having received a refusal to request about something or without cope with the case entrusted to you, look for reasonable, and not in circumstances or other people.

5. Remember that compliments or praise are not always sincere. Try to understand how much matches the praise of the real case that you managed to do.

6. When compared with others, try to compare yourself with those who seek maximum success in specific activities and in life at all.

7. Before taking the responsible case, carefully analyze your capabilities and only after that, do the conclusion about whether you can cope with him.

8. Do not consider your shortcomings: After all, you do not consider the shortcomings of other people's shortcomings?

9. Try to treat yourself critical: reasonable self-criticism contributes to self-development and more fully implement potential opportunities.

10. Do not allow yourself to "rest on the laurels." Successfully completing some business, think about whether it was possible to make it better, and if so, what prevented it.

11. Always focus on assessing the results of your actions by other people, and not on your own sense of satisfaction.

12. We respect the feelings and desires of other people, they have exactly the same meaning as yours their own.

1. Try to call five of your most powerful and most weak Parties. Think about how your strengths help you in life, and weak interfere. Learn to rely on your strengths and less often be weak.

2. Try not to remember and do not dig in your past failures and disappointments. Remember your luck more often, think about how you could (LA) achieve them.

3. Do not allow yourself too much to indulge in the feelings of guilt and shame. It will not help you succeed.

4. Look for the cause of your failures in your uncertainty, and not in the shortcomings of the person.

5. Never talk about yourself bad, even to myself. Especially avoid attributing yourself negative traits, such as nonsense, inability to something, no longer disassembly, insecurity.

6. If you are criticized for poorly done, try to take this criticism for your good, learn mistakes, but do not let other people criticize themselves as a person.

7. Do not argue with people, circumstances and activities that make you feel your inferiority. If you manage to act as the situation requires, it is better not to do this case and do not communicate with such people.

8. Try to take only those cases on your shoulder. Gradually, they can be complicated, but do not try for what you are not sure.

9. Remember that criticism is often biased. Stop acutely and painfully respond to all critical comments to your address, just take note of the opinions of people criticizing you.

10. Do not compare yourself with the "ideal". Ideals admire, but do not turn them into the measure of success.

11. Do not be afraid to try something from fear to fail. Only acting, you can learn your real opportunities.

12. Be always yourself. In an effort to be like everyone else, you hide your own.