How to understand that the lover is never divorced? Mistress: Favorite or crutch for his relationship with his wife? Lover divorced his wife

Love for a married man is always forbidden, sinful and condemned by society. But what to do if he is unhappy in marriage and his wife is associated with only certain obligations and senses of responsibility and conscience. He also wants to be with you, responds with mutual feelings, but never decide to leave the family. In this case, you can try to try myself to leave my wife to you. Perhaps someone will say that it is inflounted and ugly - to carry a person from the family. But if in that family still there is no happiness? Are you to blame?

Do you need this man?

Treasies are always associated with a certain mystery. Lovers are forced to hide, hide, see secret. These sharp feelings make their feelings stronger and passionate. No wonder they say that the forbidden fruit is sweet. Often, after lovers are reunited, they understand that in addition to this mystery and passion, they do not bind anything. Relationships become boring, disappeared. In addition, people understand that love really was not. In most cases, Mount-lover, waking up, returns to his wife.

Even if your favorite man is unhappy in marriage, if there are no feelings for a long time between him and his wife, think, and how is the situation in reality? Perhaps he just chose the position of the victim, it is so convenient for him, and you regret it. There are such men who attract women in this way. After all, all women in nature love someone to shelter, regret, understand and console. Therefore, before you take a man from the family, think, and does he want to leave there? And the most important question is: do you need it? Analyze, why did you agree to the role of a mistress? Hardly love flashed between you at once. Surely before that there was simply an intimate connection without feelings and obligations. Yes, and in the role of mistress, undoubtedly have its advantages.

Why love love

Being a mistress of a family man is not always bad. Think by yourself:

you have no obligations to this man;
you are not burdened by life;
you have a permanent sex;
in your life there is male attention and romance;
sometimes you can count on financial support (if not constantly).

Imagine a man left his wife to you. What awaits you? Very soon your relationship will absorb stern life. Romance and attention will disappear. Also, do not forget that the man will constantly keep in touch with the ex-wife and children. And this is jealousy, suspicion, distrust. And the highest moment: in the Sovie, he changed his wife with you. Where is the guarantee that he will not change you again? He is not able to keep faithful and you know it perfectly. It will gnaw and torment it. Although there are women who take all these facts and know how to create a beautiful family with their lover. We hope that you treat this category of wise women.

For what reason you need to take a man from the family

It should be understood that you can not just take and take a lover from my wife. As a result, your relationship will be spoiled, the man will return to his wife, and the feelings of all three participants of the love triangle will suffer. Therefore, think about how to make a man left the family, only if you have serious reasons:

there is a real love between you, tested by time and situations;
you are pregnant or you already have a child from a lover;
you are both unhappy in your personal life without a friend.

If at least one reason applies to you, then proceed to action.

Steps how to make a lover left his wife

You have been meeting no longer one year, and the lover did not take the first step towards resolving the situation. Believe me, and will not do. There are many circumstances that interfere with this, but most often a man is simply unsure, and he does not want to change the established life. It is convenient for him to have a full bowl of the house and the mistress, as the outlet for the soul. So that he left his wife to you, you need to take a lot of steps and spend a lot of time. But you are ready for everything, right? So, how to lead a man from the family:

Become a truly close. You must understand it, maintain in everything. This is what lacks him in his wife. But do not seek to be better than your wife or become perfect. Stay the earth, but the other. After all, it was for it that he chose you.
During meetings, create a man's maximum feeling of comfort and comfort. He should know what is where you are his house.
No need to dwell on the lover. Even, on the contrary, at a certain point you can remove a little. Since the man is characterized by a sense of property, he rents.
Do not make the first steps - do not call him, do not appoint a date, do not invite it. This should make a man. Let him seek you constantly.
Do not discuss his wife, do not configure it against it. Even if a man is constantly complaining about his spouse, he has the right to it, as it lives with it. Just listen, silently, all complaints and comfort. If you start discussing my wife, it may not like a man.
The most effective way is to put ultimatum. Push him in sex, be prepared to quit. If a man loves you, he will leave his wife. If I again found the pretext of this not to do, it means it is useless.

In general, as practice shows, if a man did not make a choice for the first year of such relationships and did not decide, it's no longer worth waiting. You can lose all your life in the status of eternal mistress. First you will wait until the lover will rise to the feet in order not to depend on his wife or her parents. Then he will ask to wait until children grow up. Then the wife will have some difficult period when support needs, and it is impossible to throw it. And so the whole life will pass. Just understand that a man does not lose in this case absolutely nothing: he has a family, the established life, children, relatives. What will you have? Broken heart and cat. Alas, but these are sad realities of statistics.

If the lover left his wife

If you still achieved your own, you do not need to relax. The care of the lover from his wife does not mean your victory. You need to prepare for many moments and stock patience.

You have donated very many to create the image that attracted your lover. This image must be maintained. After all, it was this that put you in an undoubted advantage over the mistress.
If the lover is older than you by age, be prepared for the difference in day, nutrition, habits and preferences. Now you will prepare him on a special menu so that the ulcer does not exacerbate and make massages during the radiculitis. This, by the way, again to the question, are you ready to endure such a lover?
Be prepared for the fact that the lover will constantly communicate with his wife, with children. They will have common friends and some things. The former wife will call for any reason, whether it is a question about a kid for a child or preparation for graduation. Cerenately, the best option is to make friends with children and set neutrality towards his wife.

As can be seen, to lead the lover from the family is difficult, but even more difficult to keep nearby. If you are in such a situation, think well, weigh all the pros and cons. Perhaps this is another episode in your life, which you just mistakenly accepted for a serious feeling.

"Why doesn't he leave his wife?" - this question often ask psychologists exhausted by the waiting of the mistress. Indeed why? After all, he says that he loves, can not live without it, he is experiencing a fervor passion. But continues to feed the beloved promises and ... remains in the family. And so stretches for years.
In fact, everything is simple. In order for everything to remain still, a man has good reasons. What kind?..

List of excuse

If you listen to all the reasons that men express (or, in today's language, "rub") to their mistresses, then there are several of them. All of them are standard and long known. Apparently, the larger men lack fantasies.

1. The wife became another, not like before. Stopped to follow himself, became unattractive. Their with his wife has long connected anything, they are strangers and simply coexist. Of course, they no longer sleep together.
In fact, it is a lies. In 90% of cases, the wife's normal attractive woman with whom he sleeps. Yes, it happens not as often as before, because the family sex is somewhat bored. But still married duties, he performs as it should be. It is known that a man needs novelty. A foster from boredom becomes a boredom: she excites him, he burns his blood, he feels sought-after, courageous, desirable, it feels that he still has it!

2. The wife does not follow the house, children, neglecting economic duties. She is interested only in girlfriends and work.
In fact, in most cases in the family, everything is fine: in the refrigerator, there is a lunch of three dishes, the apartment is removed, the children are well maintained. We all know that modern women try to keep up at all fronts. Going to work, earn money, and in the evenings they put at home, they cook food, followed by children.

3. "My wife is sick, I'm afraid to upset her. She will not bring my care, it will achieve it. "
Oh, these songs about the sick wife ... In fact, the spouse lives and live. If you want to make sure of this, podkraulte it at home or look for her page in the social networks, on which it is captured in photographs.

4. "I live with it only because of the children."
This may be true. Although the presence of children will not stop most of the men from the divorce, if they, indeed, will decide to leave the family. A good father can be after the divorce.

5. "Increased when the child graduates from school, the institute will get a job, marries, marry ..." (I need to enter).
Waiting for the child will reach one or that may continue for years and even decades. The child has long grown, and the WHO and now there, new reasons are invented.

6. The lover must be sent to an important business trip (increase in positions, etc.), and the divorce will prevent this.
Etc.

"No man who has a mistress did not give her that his wife is very good, satisfies him in bed, while being a good mother and hostess," says psychologist Victoria Fadeev. - No one. The psyche of men is arranged in such a way that they do not like change, but change their lives only in one case: if they are completely not satisfied with life with a woman. If a man does not want to change anything, it means only one thing that everything suits him. There is no other option. If your favorite does not consider it necessary to change anything, it means that they are much more connected with his wife than with you. Each of you plays your roles in this performance. The most favorable role went to your man. You satisfy a lot of his needs, it has a romantic sex, a fairy tale, a novelty of sensations, satisfied with pride and the ability to manage the situation, since at any moment he can get up and leave, referring to the fact that he is waiting for "unloved" wife. And at home, he receives the satisfaction of another order, and this is another to him no less important than yours. And maybe more, since he is worried about the psychological comfort of his wife, but about yours - no. Your beautiful story that he does not like his wife is your vision situation. This is a look on your part. You do not see their relationship, do not watch them from the side, do not live his family life ... ".

He is cozy and comfortable, he has everything

Why does he, actually, break his life and go somewhere? He has everything: the established life, house, children. When he comes from work, homemade meet him, rejoice. For weekends and holidays, they drive the whole family to parents or go with children in the museum, on the rink. They are fine.

Yes, the man somewhat bored family sex, he became prosaic, it lacks sharpness, novelty. But for this there is a mistress. She is always waiting, always glad, always ready. It is carefully prepared for each date: it is painted, it is combed, it is smartly dressed. She brightly shine, she serves a beautiful dinner, then rake sex with passions. Everything is wonderful!
Why should it change something? Why should he destroy his well-established life and go "to a new swimming" with many unknown? ..
He does not have any serious reasons for divorcing. It suits him. And if so, why leave the family?

Family is not only love-sex-romance

Family is more. This is a common life, friendship, trust, support. This is the history of relationships, general memories, a single circle of communication, multiple related and friendly connections. Finally, this is a long-term habit.
Having a family, a man has a solid social position. Throw her like this, overnight - it means to be in void. And this is a very difficult feeling.

In addition, there are many official problems. How to share property: apartment, car, cottage, garage and more? Who will the children stay with? They need to pay alimony, and this is a serious burden on the budget. There is too many problems, a man is turned away from them, he is not needed. It is easier to come up with a lover excuse and to some time to close the question.

Of course, inventing the reasons why he cannot leave the family, a man realizes that he deceives his mistress. It is hard for him hard, he is experiencing in his heart. Then he begins to deceive himself, he says himself: "Someday then I will do it. Necessarily ... ". Invents for myself some time and constantly moves them. It seems to him that he does not deceive anyone, for some reason, only objective circumstances interfere.

How to get out of a closed circle?

So, a man has a stimulus to get away from the family. On the one hand, he has a stormy sex, bright emotions, a woman in love with him. On the other hand, he has a house and established family life. Why will he suddenly throw it all?
Now, if the lover put a condition before him: "Divorce, or all over!", - Then he would think.

But this can be done only when passions are still strong when they are burly and boiled. During this period, a man is in love, he lost his head from attraction, novelty. This is usually happening in the first year of relationship. And then the usual routine is already starting to sneak. Even if the relationship continues to exist, they become more everyday, ordinary, no longer excite.

Therefore, if the beloved, really, I realized that this is a man of her life and she wants to be with him to the end, then she should put him a condition and a harsh time: "If you want to be with me, first emerge for. And now go. I give you two months so that you make a decision and did everything. Otherwise, everything is over, and do not go back again. "
And close the door behind it. Do not answer calls, sms-ski, delete it from the contacts.
In no case can not be allowed to me - not under any kind! If only a woman can not stand the separation and break, again let him down to him - everything is lost. A man will understand that she will always forgive him and take.
Such a connection can be stretching for years and break a woman life. She will lose a few years, will make it will turn around. A lot of time may need to restore sincere equilibrium.

According to statistics, 85 percent of wrong husbands are not going to leave the family, psychologist Natalia Mikhailova believes. Other experts lead such a figure: they are bred with their wives and marry the mistresses only 12% of wrong husbands. It turns out, only one of the seven-eight men for the sake of the beloved is ready to start building a new life.
And what to do those women who did not become such happy? ..

"Statistics says that if a man does not change anything in his life during the year from the moment of the beginning of romantic meetings, then with a probability of 99% with this mistress he does not want to build relationships, - continues Victoria Fadeeva. - A love story for more than a year is unlikely to have a serious continuation. What to do? Change the behavioral script. Stop being "good." Declare your rights, mark the boundaries, put the conditions. If your man really values \u200b\u200byou, he will take responsibility for making a decision and stop living for two houses. Putting the conditions, be consistent, do not go for compromises, think about yourself and about your future. "

Almost every girl since childhood dreams of a prince on a white horse, which will find her, will conquer the heart and make the happiest in the world. And now, the years have passed, the girl has grown, and he appeared on the horizon - a real prince, smart, cheerful, caring, reliable, beautiful, in love, in a word, not a man - a dream. That's just a "prince" one disadvantage - a wedding ring on his right hand. And the woman appears a difficult choice: to become a mistress of this man or look for fate elsewhere.

Love triangles old as the world, but now, like hundreds of years ago, women come into contact with married men in the hope that sooner or later a loved one will make a choice in favor of the mistress, will leave the family and marry her. Are such hopes justified? How is the chance of a mistress to become a legitimate wife of his beloved or she - no more than temporary entertainment of a man?

Attitude of men to mistresses

Despite the assurances of girlfriends and relatives, and for disappointing statistics, stating that more than 80% of men never get married on mistresses, a woman consisting in a forbidden connection believes that its case is unique, it will be able to win the beloved from the spouse. However, before considering, what chances are that a man will throw his wife and marries his mistress, it is necessary to figure out why husbands decide to change wives and how they belong to the mistress. It can be conditionally divided into three main types:

1. Conditionally free - Men whose marriage is only legally. Such men can be in the process of divorce with his wife or do not live with her under the same roof, seriously plan to divorce. These men, as a rule, honestly tell the mistress of their life situation, and if they feel feelings, speed up the process of divorce with his wife, introduce a new parent with parents, friends, and after receiving a certificate of divorce, may well go to the registry office with mistress.

2. Calculable - Men having a strong family and start-up on the side solely for the sake of entertainment, new sensations. These men immediately inform mistresses that they are not going to divorce with his wife and the mistress cannot count more than regular meetings. Such men do not experience strong feelings for mistresses, for them a woman on the side - entertainment, a way to spend time. These men do not limit the freedom of mistresses, can give expensive gifts, financially to provide, getting instead of tenderness, affection, sex.

3. Unhappy - Men who tell mistresses, as they were deeply lucky with his wife, about the permanent quarrels, scandals with his wife, and that the mistress is almost the only happiness in their accident. However, to a rational question of a new girlfriend, when he divorced with a "terrible" wife, such a man begins to invent 1000 reasons why he cannot do it right now, but promises to devote himself as soon as the child finishes study / children will grow / will pay a mortgage / He will be raised / will come the second coming of Christ. In fact, men from this category do not plan to divorce, because they do not want to change the established life, but they don't want to lose his mistress either, so they come up with excuses and torshant to the girlfriend in vain promises.

Obviously, the mistress is only the first of the above categories of men may seriously count on changing the status of a mistress on a stamp in the passport. However, many men from the third category can also tell their friends that they are about to divinate with his wife, but their words will disperse with the real position of things. Therefore, psychologists advise women who are lovers of married men, do not wait for the divorce of the beloved more than 1 year. The fact is that in the overwhelming majority of cases, if a new girlfriend is intended to be with her, it will issue a divorce within the first year of their connection.

Most men by nature do not like cardinal changes in life, so without serious reasons are not decided to leave the established life and wife with which the warm relationship is associated. By itself, a strong passion for a new girlfriend is not enough for a man to divorce with his wife, so incorrect husbands prefer to meet with a new lover secretly, carefully hiding from the family a connection on the side. The reasons why men are solved for divorce lie in his relationship with his wife, but not in his mistress, because if the heart of a man is employed by his wife, there will be no place for another woman there.

What to make a mistress married man

In life, events often occur as planned, and many women fall in love with married men, become mistresses. Not always in these women pulls out strength and excerpts to break, so psychologists give several advice to girls, by the will of the feelings become one of the corners of the love triangle. Taking advantage of the recommendations, a woman will not make a man divorce and marry her, but will be able to make his own life better and over time - free to free himself from a married one.

1. Pay enough attention to itself. Classes of beloved business, visits to beauty salons, gym, expansion of the circle of interest, the acquisition of new hobbies, etc. - All this will help a woman to make life brighter and filled with events and will help her, their strength, attractiveness.

2. Do not violate plans due to a married lover. For example, if a meeting with girlfriends is planned in a woman, and the married beloved is calling and reports his wife's departure and suggests to meet, the mistress needs to go to his girlfriends. Sacrifting the plans to please the lover, the woman equates himself in his eyes almost to the level of a home dog resorting to the first call of the owner.

3. Forget about the instructions of Mom, that "the path to the heart of a man lies through the stomach." He has a wife, let her prepare him, erases his clothes and others. A woman trying to become a mistress and nanny for a married man, practically no chance to become his wife - he will come to her, as in a restaurant, a full-time hotel, To relax and have fun, and then return to everyday life.

4. To stop the conversations of a married lover about his wife. Many men are trying to "put pressure on pity" and rushing into the vest of mistresses about what kind of bad wives are in them. These conversations are empty, their direct goal is a mistress from the man, so if he raises this topic, it should be offered or immediately submit to a divorce, or talk about anything more interesting for a woman.

5. Never try to inform the lover's wife about his existence. Many mistresses are trying to talk to his wife or adjust everything so that she learned about the connection of her husband on the side and decided to divorce with him. However, if the mistress reaches the goal, and the wife of the beloved will quit the wrong husband, it is unlikely that he will take advantage of the mistress - it is more likely that he accuses her in all mortal sins for destroying his established life and broke his family.

6. Search for your prince. A woman's married lover should initially be perceived as a temporary man, and the relationship with him is like entertainment, and not refuse to get acquainted with other representatives of strong sex. Leading an active life, getting acquainted with new people and not focusing on a married friend, a woman will surely meet his half and acquire family happiness.

Let's try to analyze the situation from life.

"He seems to go to me after a date!" This behavior of a man is explained by the fact that in the usual family setting he lacks sex. It makes this deficiency with the help of you. To prove it, you need to compare the number of calls and SMS messages from your chosen one to the meeting and the next day after the meeting. After a date, we are usually bright and complete romantic messages are replaced by scarce everyday phrases, and there are no at all. Such a partner wishes a meeting with you only when he wants and certainly he does not feel about you. You are for him only another entertainment in the boring ordinary life.

His plans for a stable future. Your beloved in the nearest holiday planned a tourist trip to foreign countries, but for some reason only with your family. So, the future he does not think without it, and you do not have place in it.

Oh, how he is a few! Your affectionate words and speeches that you are trying to convey to your loved one, he seems to not hear or ignores at all. Of course, any woman wants to hear from the man that it is the most beautiful and gentle, but usually it is dry phrases in the form "while, dear, everything was fine." Perhaps gentle speeches glow from you in his soul, but the uncertainty that he really loves more than his family, scares him. He understands perfectly well that if he allows himself to admit that he loves you stronger, you will certainly put pressure on him, forcing you to get away from your family to you. He is absolutely not ready for such a turn of the event.

"He is indifferent where I"Surely, you noticed how during sex your partner uses a lot of caring phrases to you:" Do you like this or a kind? When is it better and where is better? " But in ordinary life, he is little interested in your life, simply does not consider it necessary to spend time on empty conversations. He is little worried about your health if you are sick or give yourself to know the mean SMS by knowing that you had a very difficult day.

"I am a big secret". How would you like to spend the evening in some restaurant or go to the movies. But for some reason whenever you invite him somewhere in society, he finds an excuse. It would seem that there is nothing terrible, if you walk together along the streets of the city. But your chosen one continues to ignore your requests to spend time outside your home. So, it is a reason to think how much you are for him.

His interest in you is unstable. His visits to you occur in certain periodicity. Then you spend almost every day together, then suddenly it disappears at a large period of time. The reason lies in the relationship of it with his wife. When their relationship is spoiled, he is looking for consolation in you. But if everything is in Lada with his wife, then at that moment he does not think about you and can not be about the divorce of speech.

How long have you been together? Three months, year or quarter of a century? Studies of psychologists show that there are two time intervals, after which a man decides that it is necessary to break the relationship with the mistress. This is 3 months and 1 year. In the first 3 months, the man only in the case is decided to get away from his wife to his mistress if family relationships are far from perfect. However, if in his family is more calm, then your novel can delay, but only for a year. Nevertheless, on vacation, he leaves his family, and not with you. So you have to spend a relationship with this person, since the next year there will be the same course of events.

Probably, now no one will surprise the fact that now it is a woman who often achieves a man, and not the opposite. And so the goal is achieved. And at that moment a woman (formerly mistress) can think about whether her man will deceive, doing one day so with his wife?

Sociological data on how many men, marrying on mistresses, there are new, unfortunately, no. Logic suggests that now the lover can be in fools, then you mean the current wife.

Yesterday mistress today wife

Although there are no statistics, how many men, marrying mistresses, give new, but the chance that your husband will deceive and you, as once deceived his first wife, is very large. So be alert. Remember that the number of second marriages ending with the divorce is much more compared to the number of divorces after the first marriage.

Although there are no statistics, how many men, marrying mistresses, give new, but the chance that your husband will deceive and you, as once deceived his first wife, is very large.

Wife found love and requires divorce

I will tell my story that has not yet ended. I am 30 years old married for 5 years, there are two beautiful children - Son 5 years and a daughter for 2 years. There is work, I do not complain about poverty, only a housing question in a deep minus, we live with your wife's parents. Our family relationships in the last couple of years in a deep crisis: interponing, constant scandals, sex was less and more and more reminding duties, even before the application (I am very sick of remembering these moments, the benefit was a couple of times everything).

Blog Blog

Sexologists argue that people are polygamines. It does not depend on their gender. Apparently, therefore, in our days, treason is not a rare phenomenon. Although one-time "care of left" and permanent relations with another partner are completely different phenomena. Statistics show that today 50 percent of Russian men have a girlfriend on the side.

Relationships usually continue until the partners are interested in each other, relationships can be discontinued by one of the partners.

Mistress requires a divorce with his wife

i believe that it is not worth raping myself if you with my wife nichago no longer binds other than a child. And the child for his wife is a good tool for manipulation by you. For some reason, the people were very firmly stereotype on the topic. We live together for children "

here you are. Almost a psychologist "Think here, really the child will not notice what she care about adults, in this case, mom and dad? will notice, and will suffer from this.

Mistress - Second Wife

Recently, the site is a cat.ru told you about what types of mistresses see men. However, we, women, we see sometimes completely different. This is what classification of mistresses offers psychologist Svetlana Morozov.

Today we will look at one of the most common types: Lover is the second wife. Naturally, like all other categories, this type has its own characteristics on which you need to stop more.

My mistress throws me, and fell in love and want her love to do, there is a favorite thing to give

I once had a mistress and wife. Two completely different women who followed a hand hand in hand for many years. Everything was radically changed at the moment when the mistress threw me.

Wife's hair always tied in the tail so that they would not climb into the plates, in the eyes, in the face of the child. Her home clothing was training soft pants and a wide T-shirt, it was so convenient to cook food, clean up and washed.

Why throw mistresses

The high demands of a woman, her whims, as well as "wrong" behavior with others can cause the man to run away without regard. If the lover demands too much time with her, constantly forces to buy expensive things and make gifts, capricious, even the most ardent fan can cool quickly. It is especially unpleasant when a woman shows feelings in sight of everyone, makes many nonsense when communicating with his lover's familiar.

Sergey Kalmov

So deal with her right now, while nothing has happened. Require the seduction of your husband. And will not help the conversation with her - feel free to meet my husband's brother and talk to him. Let them take action to his wife, I suppose neither horns need him nor the complications of relationships with his brother