How to learn to communicate with people? We comprehend the art of effective communication. How to learn to communicate with people: specialist advice

Secrets of communicability - What affects the ability to communicate, how to overcome the fear of communication and become an interesting interlocutor?

Many people as their advantages indicate such quality as sociable, or the ability to communicate with other people. However, in fact it often it turns out that their ability to communicate only in a certain company of people close to them (relatives or friends), in front of which you can not comply with some rules of correctness. For example, you can often see young people who, standing as a circle, express their thoughts and relationships exclusively with the help of obscene vocabulary. At the same time, they can slap each other on the backs, to conduct a comic fight, laugh loudly and comment on the words of the interlocutors only with the help of short "matery" words. When such people get into the company unfamiliar to them, their more than liberal behavior changes dramatically: they become clamped, they can not say almost nothing intelligible. When communicating with the persons of the opposite sex, the same situation may occur, especially if the attracted person speaks not in the manner usual, but it has the ability to clearly and clearly state their thoughts without resorting to "strong" expressions.

What factors affect the ability to communicate with other people

Often there are situations when the person we know is as positive in all respects, a beautiful interlocutor, suddenly begins to behave somewhat differently. It can be scattered, at times aggressively react even to the most trifling remarks and replicas, generally abandon the intention even to support the visibility of the conversation and completely clicter in itself. Uncertain people usually perceive it completely at their own expense and begin to respond to the same aggression either leave the interlocutor.

The question arises, what's the matter? Before starting communication with others, it is necessary to distract from any negative thoughts and states. If you yourself or your interlocutor got up not from that foot, all his charm can evaporate somewhere. Only irritated struggle will remain, who no longer inspires any warm feelings and with which they simply do not want to be in the same room.

It happens that the interlocutors do not feel confidence in each other and the conversation in the company is bad glued. Just sit and look at each other uninteresting, so someone takes the courage to start the conversation first. What does he do? First of all, you need to get acquainted with other people sitting around, call your name. The feeling of distrust arises in the event that a person who began this process will recognize the names of other present, but at the same time he does not call his name.

Often the initiative in communication comes from one person

Another nuance is to start or interfere in the conversation, without relying on interesting and familiar to other people themes. Not knowing what others say, it is possible to get to him and then all the remaining evening spend, evil on yourself and others for what happened.

The complete absence of any manifestations of emotions or, on the contrary, excessive emotionality, especially exaltation, also do not cause desire to communicate with a person who demonstrates all this. It seems that he is either too "frozen" in relation to the expression of his feelings, or simply does not know when to stop if he shows his feelings. Both sharply reduces the level of confidence and the desire to communicate. The narrative of experiences, smiles and laughter is not to the place - these are clearly not those tools that allow you to arrange other people to ourselves and create a favorable to communicate atmosphere.

You had to see how people don't even know each other very well, sometimes create interesting situations when they want to communicate? They sit down closer, but not so much so that by the part of their communication looked too intimate. It is also difficult to imagine how you can interest another person by itself, being about 3-5 meters away from it, and talk to personal topics. On the other hand, if a perfectly unfamiliar man sits close to you, it begins to grab your hands, patted on the shoulder or annoyed in the ear ... This behavior usually causes a desire to stop chatting and escape from Visazi as soon as possible.

Or such a case when someone himself calls about something, not even paying attention to the reaction of others. Every his word is accompanied by unlimited gesticulation, annoying closer looks or at all does not look at anyone. One can only guess what desires are in the souls of those who did not seem to be near ...

Failed communication experience can make you closed

Summing up the above, we note that such factors affect the ability of a person to communicate with others:

emotional state of interlocutors;
community of interests of those present;
visual contact and distance between interlocutors;
sense of self-confidence;
emotional involvement in the communication process;
the ability to listen to others.

How to learn to communicate with other people

Some people sometimes cause a slight envy of what can easily communicate with those who surround them. It seems that the opportunity to approach someone and to start a conversation with him does not represent anything complicated for them. And for others, the thought itself seems to be just frightened: what if this man tells something that after his words it will just want to fall through the earth? Or die in place?

Often it is difficult to start a conversation.

Refuse prejudice. Starting communication with another person, you need to abandon any finished installations and thoughts on his account. It is different "cockroaches" like "And if", "And suddenly", "God forbid" and others can already in the embryo to suppress your ability to see a person in front of them. A person, not the label that you managed to hang on him because of his appearance or behavior. Remember, no one is responsible for your cargo of experienced failures or what you call your failure. You are also not an angel, and with your shortcomings you have to put up to other people. It is better to pay attention to the positive qualities of the person with whom you communicate. As psychotherapists say, there are no flaws in man, but there are peculiar advantages to which you need to look around and learn to accept them.

Be sure to yourself. An important key to developing the ability to communicate with others is to be confident by a person. Moreover, a person with such qualities we calculate intuitively. Such a person behaves without too much fuss, picks up words, is not afraid to watch the interlocutor into the eyes and express his emotions. At the same time, he does not protrude his knowledge and competence, expressing the right language, does not try to crush his status and authority. Before you give an answer, it is withstanding a small pause, says measured and quietly, but not in a whisper.

Support visual contact and use feedback. Usually people who spend good interlocutors can listen to others. It is expressed in the fact that they not only listen, but also ask different clarifying questions and encourage the interlocutor. At the same time, they look at the interlocutor from time to time, but they do not use X-ray looking at. Usually a close police glance usually raises a desire to escape from such a deep immersion in someone's inner world.

Head to listen to the interlocutor

Do not decide for your interlocutor, how to behave. Often in movies on the relationship between men and women, such a moment be played when the cause of conflicts is shown - the inability to listen to another person. He talks about his own, you about your own. Then everyone begins to accuse the other in inattention, but for some reason, no one has the thought that all the fault may have own egoism and improper expectations regarding other people. In the sense that a person is more interested in his thoughts, feelings and relationships than other people from the nearest environment. It's like a joke that a man, going to the bathroom to wash and shave, came out from there with a divorced person for some five minutes. And all because the wife asked some kind of question, herself answered himself, got angry, offended and ... Finite for a comedy.

Express your thoughts clearly and clear. Learn to express your thoughts in an affordable and clear manner. Some believe that a particular highlight of the conversation is given to the missing and the ability to read between the lines. Usually everything happens with accuracy to the opposite: if someone does not understand completely, what it is about, he begins to experience a feeling of irritation, boredom appears and the desire to just retire somewhere else to another place. Where everyone talks about understandable things and understandable.

Avoid evaluation judgments and be able to ask questions. It is also important to be able to avoid evaluation reactions like "nonsense", "nonsense" or "invent too!". When the interlocutor receives such an assessment from the communication partner, he has an impression that it is not interesting to anyone who excited his questions. It wakes up a sense of own insignificance and inferiority. Whatever he says, you need to listen to it to the end. But not bombing a person with an endless flow of questions, otherwise he will decide that he is in questioning with the addiction, and will try to interrupt a serious communication for him.

Come on to manage the attention of the interlocutor. An important point that allows you to arrange other people to yourself - the ability to control space and your body. This means that you need to be able to cut or increase the distance of each other and the interlocutor. For example, if you think that the atmosphere is too injected, it makes sense, using the pretext, leave a person alone with his thoughts for a while. You can disappear from the field of his vision, but do not interrupt communication. You can ask questions or tell something, better with a humorous subtext. It is better to switch the attention of the interlocutor to something else, distract it in this way. For example, to offer a cup of tea or coffee, offer sweet or fruit. The psychological meaning is that, from a verbal, mental or emotional channel, a person switches to the level of sensations and the voltage is reduced.

Expand your horizons and vocabulary. A person who knows even the most simple things to present a beautiful literary language, immediately attracts attention. People begin to stretch to him simply from the desire to talk and listen. Remember, Duma described the oldest of Musketeers - Athos? Despite his modest clothes, he immediately became the center of attention of any company. It was distinguished not only by magnificent manners, but also the ability to support the conversation on any topic. He even surprised the king, who considered himself a connoisseur in the field of falconry.

The most important thing - do not be afraid to communicate! Even if you are not answered as you wanted, you personally will not happen to happen to you. A negative result is also a result that gives life experience. But the next time you will know that there are some nuances with which you have to be very attentive. Without practice, any skill is atrophy. Including the ability to say something ...

The psychology of communication is undoubtedly one of the most important spheres of our life. Every day we, in one way or another, interact, get acquainted and speak with people around us. This is a natural process emanating from the nature of a person as the creatures of social.

However, sometimes there are such situations when we are hard to communicate for any reason, especially if it comes to interaction with the opposite sex, dating or maintaining existing relationships. Each person, with rare exceptions, undoubtedly, is desire to communicate, but certain complexes, imposed beliefs prevent him from doing this. This article will reveal the basic principles and tell how to learn to communicate with people.

Is there a way to relax and receive pleasure from this? How to stop being stolen, to overcome the feeling of anxiety and fear of communication, stop worrying on trifles and make your life much more pleasant, thanks to this?

The key role of communicating in a person's life has long been proven by scientists. Our well-being, successful life and relationships directly depends on it.

Before moving towards the fight against fear of communication, it is necessary to identify the very reason for the emergence of this fear and discomfort associated with it. Knowing the root of the problem, the opening of its essence is much easier to solve it.

How not to be afraid to communicate with people

Perhaps the fear of communication lies in your childhood, think, perhaps, you remember some conflict that happened to you, being a child.

Then you did not give it much importance, however, at the subconscious, the negative sediment remained, and now prevents you from developing. In this case, you should consult with a specialist, or pass a number of psychological trainings that will help you overcome the current situation.

There may be other, less depth, reasons, like that:

inability to correctly build connections and relationships
inability to establish contacts
lack of mutual understanding
excessive modesty
your timidity, shyness
excessive restraint and meekness
low self-esteem
complexes about appearance
inability to listen and understand other people
afraid cause displeasure surrounding

In order to overcome this fear, you first need to understand that ...

We will have to recognize the presence of this fear. Often, people wen all their experiences within themselves, which further aggravates the situation, or they themselves cannot accept the problem, denying her day by day. It is best to tell someone about this fear. This is the most common way in psychology, when you share a problem with friends or relatives and it becomes easier for you, you are no longer shaved by these thoughts. The feeling of negative caused by your experiences is coming out with the words. Talk about it more and more and soon, you will already stop understanding what you were so afraid.
Changes in you will not happen in one day. This process can take for a long time, only daily long work on oneself will give fruitful results.
It is necessary to stop thinking about this problem. The more you concentrate on it, the more intractable it seems to you. Relax and enjoy the process.
You need to do what is most afraid. Start communicate, talk to someone, and do it all the time. Increased practice is needed. It is impossible to overcome psychological problems exclusively by reading literature and special articles. To learn to calmly talk to people, defend your position, you need to start acting. Confidence and tranquility in communication directly depend on the acquired practical experience. What it is more, the better. Do not stop.
Remember, if you decide to fight a problem, and at the same time do nothing, it means that you have decided not to do anything.
Fight with you, do not stop at the result, believe in yourself and try to find a person who supports you.
If you are difficult to directly contact people, then start with telephone conversations. Think, perhaps you have long planned to do something, and certain information is not available to you, and you can get it only by calling, for example, in a reference or Internet provider. Start calling, learn the cost and all sorts of details. Write a pre-a list of questions you want to ask, and proceed. Ask about the work schedule, their location, email address, mail, ask to explain how to find them.
Gradually, you will achieve the desired result, the voice will stop trembling, stiffness will pass, and you will no longer need a sheet with questions, you will improvise. So you prepare yourself for the next stage - real communication. For this, as often as possible, talk with unfamiliar people, ask them specific questions or contact them with requests: Learn how to get to the place you need, to which bus is better to sit on, at what stop to go out how to go where to go somewhere where or other organization. In stores, be sure to agree to the consultant's proposal to help you (or come up with questions to the seller). Look for all sorts of reasons for communication on your own, this will serve as an effective development of your imagination and will detect an extra tension at new acquaintances with people.
Try more to read, learn new information every day, and form your own opinion about certain events. More often, train on loved ones, because when talking with them you feel more relaxed than with unfamiliar people. Tell us about the film that you recently looked or about the book, which I read: What I liked or did not like and why; Your opinion on the main characters; plot; Whether you will review this movie or reread the book, or, perhaps, try other books of the author.

What if you don't want to communicate with me?

There are such situations when we come to a new team or we are invited to spend time in the company, however, contact is not being established, you are moving away from the group, and become a white crow, you are bypassing the party and avoid communicating with you. The reason for this can be the lack of energy, interest in other and life drive, as well as interests, hobbies and their opinions.

If you are confident, then behave as natural as possible and, that is important, keep inner calm.

Do not give it to what is happening much. But do not wait for someone to you and get acquainted. Make the first step yourself, be more initiative, take part in the discussions, do not deny if you are asking for something.

Another problem can be communication with the opposite sex.

Let us turn to the council

How to learn to communicate with guys

Proper communication with the guy will help you build a good prolonged relationship.

Remember, if the conversation went into a dead end, and your interlocutor with you nothing to talk about, then he almost immediately loses interest to you.

To understand how to talk about and what, try to find out what he represents, what does he do, if he has hobbies and that he loves.

Try to be positive and cheerfulSuch people like everyone, they make smiling and forget about their problems. The smile always inspires confidence and has to mutual understanding. In no case do not forget to smile, it will help you avoid tension in a conversation. Never climb hands, do not cross them on the chest, because This gesture on the subconscious is perceived as protection and closure, unwillingness to contact, the desire to protect their comfort zone. Do not be nervous and do not strain, do not bite your lips, it is also a sign of awkwardness. Be yourself.

When talking with a guy, try to choose the themes that he is passionate, try to figure them out, and then go to the discussion.

Of course, it is not necessary to know everything thoroughly. Ask him something on the topic, he will only be nice that his knowledge and opinion you are not indifferent to you.

Do not silent, but if it happens so that you will not be able to answer, then tell me that it is not familiar to you. Thus, you will be able to show your unobtrusion, the guy will understand that you are not so easy to interest. If the guy will ask to tell about himself, do not forget, a couple of the main points about his life and that's it. Recall, when communicating with the guys, it is necessary to emphasize all the attention on them, and not on yourself.

You can talk with a guy to all sorts of topics, based on your mood, but without vulgarities and intimate details, it is unacceptable for the first communication. Try to talk about well-known topics, it is worthwhile to avoid female gossip and discussing other people behind their back.

The most important thing is to keep a relaxed conversation, it will give you to understand exactly the guy is interested.

How to learn to communicate with girls

If you liked the girl, and you do not know where to start to tie a conversation with her, then just smile and greet it. Warm and sincere smile always configures on a positive way when communicating. Try to your smile look warm and sincere. Do this, and no girl will be able to resist such a tempting invitation to meet.

« What should I talk to her?"- Such a question arises at the very moment when you are alone with a pretty girl, a further acquaintance with which you would give you great pleasure.

Ask questions, but at the same time, avoid those that it could answer one-way "yes" or "no". Instead: "Do you like this movie? - "What films do you usually look?" Or "How do you feel about ...?" Give the will of fantasy, find out more about your interlocutor. This advice is really effective if you do not know how to talk to Merchu.

Thanks to these advice, you will learn to enjoy your stay in the company, you will have people to yourself. If you still feel that Robet when communicating with unfamiliar people, remember what we told you today. It's time to overcome your fears.

Video: How to communicate with the most different people?

ATTENTION, only today!

Sometimes conversations with people are confused. You probably often think that you would like the conversations to bring joy, and have not been in a burden. If you can't get together with thoughts when you're going to say something, or you feel that you can not say anything, it's time to improve the skills of communication and return the joy of communicating with people.

Steps

Learn from others

Beginning of conversation

Put yourself in a conversation with people. At the very beginning of the conversation, all participants are on a comfortable distance for them from each other. Try to stand or sit next to those who are close to you.

Imagine a group. This is the usual procedure for each person. It may be a nod of the head or just the word "hello", and it will be better if you say a name. Standard phrases, like "How are you?" And "Well, how are you?" Usually used to create a proper atmosphere in the group. Experiment with phrases. The conversation goes on the usual template: greeting, essence of conversation and farewell. The essence of the conversation follows greetings.

Now your interlocutors will speak turn. Express your opinion during the conversation, although completely normal and even it is important to remain a listener as much as required.
Farewell: after a while, the conversation comes to an end and people say goodbye.

Start the conversation yourself.
- Create a comfortable atmosphere. Do it with the help of poses, vote or friendly face expression.
- Support a friendly atmosphere in relation to people with whom you want to talk.
- Engage people in conversation. Do it with the help of the original question. Ask a question that is easy to answer. Or analyze the situation that is known to you both.
- Support the conversation (it's as if you were the owner at a small party).

Alternate connection to the conversation

If you are given a word from other people, use this opportunity correctly. For example, you may ask a question. Or someone can offer you to express your opinion with the help of gestures or non-verbal means of communication.
- Connect to the conversation yourself. There are always small pauses in a conversation when the one who says finishes his thought. Take the case in your hands and fill in the pause. But someone can try to say something at the same time. There is always a friendly rivalry between the participants of the group. You can be the first!
Speak what you want to say. When we listen to the conversation, we overwhelm feelings, thoughts and reactions. Answer your inner motives and at the same time, reduce the conversation to what it was about what it was about. Enjoy the conversation.

Expand the ability to react. It is much harder to talk than writing, because it's like music. There is a rhythm, melody, harmony, spontaneity and movement. These are the qualities that are as important as lyrics. Expand the ability to respond with the help of variations in the voice, facial expression and gestures.

Remember that ideas come when you say. But if they do not come, try to focus on what you want to say, for example, using words such as EE or other confusion expressions, and you can also ask yourself out loud questions. Some teachers underestimate the importance of such words ( think before saying); but this is not true. In fact, in conversation it is important to use words that do not make sense to achieve the highest meaning.

Connect to conversation

Go to the group of people. Become an interested observer for a while.

Come even closer and find out if your presence is desirable. This is usually determined by secret gestures and movements.

Try to support the conversation, listening to others and assess their thoughts.

After a while, make a farewell sign and leave.

Improving communication skills

Trace the conversation structure. It's simple. Greeting; the essence of the conversation; parting. The character of greetings and farewells differs in different cultures, but in general this is a standard procedure. Both greetings and farewells are the ability to express good wishes to other people. .

Listen to the conversation. After greeting you need to join the conversation, saying something impressive! It is best to pre-listen to a little, what are we talking about. You will understand the interests of people and you can catch the rhythm of the conversation.

Do not feel obliged to listen to everything. It is very easy to overflow to all what others say, and undergo hypnosis, so it will not be possible to collect thoughts. Learn how to relax during the conversation to get together with your own thoughts.

Listen to what they say, and connect to exclamations. Exclamations are expressions of feelings. When people agree with those who are said, they can say "yes" or other reaction expressions. When we do not agree, we use other means of expression.

Realize your own goal in the conversation. Examples of conversation goals are as follows:

Fun and relaxed communication.
Research the issue.
Provision of information.
Promotion or persecution of people.

Determine the risk of what has been said. Matching together with everyone is fun, and you are not at risk, until you find self-confidence. Ask questions about what is being discussed in a conversation is welcome, and this is also not a big risk. Talking with yourself, you are very risking, but this is permitted when talking to standard themes. The transition to personal topics, affecting political or religious topics increases the risk of disagreement and irritation, but this does not mean that you should avoid such conversations. Try to define the depth and severity of other interlocutors.
Connect to the conversation of more quiet members of the group. To get as much from the conversation as possible, it is important to hear everyone, and not just dominant personalities. This does not mean that you should demand from someone to express thoughts or pour them with questions, but you just have to look at them during a conversation and give to understand that you take them. Leave some time after someone finished saying that less confident person could say something.
- If you notice that someone says, but does not include a quiet people in a conversation, you can redirect the attention to them when they say with you. For example, if you just finished talking, it is likely that the next speaker will pay attention to you, as he will express his thoughts about what you said. If all pay attention to you, you can easily redirect the attention to other people in the group. It helps, because when you look at someone in your eyes, and they look somewhere else, it is quite normal to translate the sight.
- These fears are a bit contradictory, but most people experience these fears to a certain extent. This is completely normal, and we can use fear as a reminder that you need to learn, practicing and developing skills.

Warnings

In any conversation there is a risk of loss of social position, if you speak the nefple. But there is also the opposite risk if you lack confidence in your own ideals and opinions.
This guide is suitable for English-speaking regions of the West. In other regions, customs may differ, for example, there is a conversation order in turn, depending on the status in the group.
Stay safe. You can accidentally speak with someone who can understand you wrong. A person can understand what you say, not as you would like to take advantage of it. Think about how to keep your point of view and your own security before you get into this situation.

The world is so arranged that some people say too much, not silent for a second, while others in society cannot squeeze out words. What is it connected with? Inability to express your thoughts, to keep the conversation and conquer the interlocutors, the syllable fibration depends primarily from the complexity and insecurity, and not from the lack of a mind, as many consider. However, continue to close in yourself, soothing the soul doubtful "I do not like to communicate with people and I will not!" No way. Even the erudites with a rich inner world who have read no one hundred books and distinguished by non-light intelligence may experience difficulties in communicating.

Word is one of the strongest guns

The ability to communicate and affect people by the power of the word is considered the gold quality of a modern person. Without properly built phrases, you will not be able to conclude a contract, to speak with a banal wedding congratulation, to conquer the heart of the girl, not to mention the fact that many promising professions will be unavailable for you. Initially there was a word, and it will always be.

"Every thought, pronounced by the words, is the force whose action is infinitely." These are the words of L. N. Tolstoy, once again proving that it is necessary to learn and be able to communicate with people. People who know how to virtuosively handle the word - general pets, all the doors are open to them, they are much easier to build a career and achieve their goal. Their secret is that they know how to communicate with people know where, when and what to say, where to keep silent, and where to argue. At the same time, they do not have any extrasensory abilities and developed intuition. The art of communication will be able to master everyone - there would be a desire.

Secrets of a fruitful conversation

The basic principle of communication with people is based on the mirror rule: "As you are to others and they are to you." Your rude will cause a response negative reaction, the inattention will be paid for the same coin, and a sharp gesture, a dismissed speech and the habit of interpretation will make you one of the most unpleasant interlocutors.

So how to communicate with people right? The most important components of the correct conversation are:

politeness;
interest;
interest;
attention;
moderate gesticulation;
leisure and calm speech;
sensitivity and responsiveness;
the ability to listen.

As you can see, nothing supernatural! No need to memorize anecdotes and long tiras, there is no need to show tricks so that you are appreciated, only elementary politeness - and the interlocutor is favorable to you!

Consider 10 basic communication rules, weighing which you will become one of the most pleasant interlocutors.

The smile is another secret weapon from the arsenal of the funds beneficially affecting people. After all, who will like to talk with a man, on whose face was frozen a lifeless expression? The same can be said about a person who is constantly smiling - it can take it for abnormal. The main thing in the conversation is to observe the balance. Politely smile from time to time, but do not laugh in the nefple, especially at the moment when you are talking about your problems, but also not to laugh through power - deleted laughter is noticeable for the mile.

When communicating, try to watch the interlocutor in the eyes, continuing to keep polite interest on your face, even if the topic of the conversation is not at all interesting to you. People do not like those who look at the floor or to the side - this says either about the unscrupulousness of the interlocutor, or about his bad upbringing. Observe these two rules, and soon the problem is how to communicate with people will be irrelevant for you.

Moderate gesture

In the psychology of communication, along with a smile, gesticulation is equally important. Try not to do during the conversation of sharp movements and do not fuss, creating the impression of a nervous person. And even more so do not knock the mobile phone on the table, do not drum your fingers, do not look at yourself in the mirror and do not paint your lips. The interlocutor, at best, considers you that you are bored, and at worst - it will make an opinion about you as an uncompatient and unacceptable person.

All people without exception welcome non-arc, soft gestures, open poses (no hands crossed on his chest) and palm. At the same time, follow the widespread method of "cleaning": imperceptibly repeat the gestures of the interlocutor and set up in its position. The method operates trouble-free - a person on the subconscious level will feel some unity with you, and then sympathy.

I do not know how to communicate with people, or how to tie a conversation

There were such situations with you when you just need to start a conversation, but you did not know how to put him the beginning, from what words and what topic? In such cases, choose any universal and secular topics, such as weather, news, work surrounding people, cars. If you are aware of the interests and hobbies of the interlocutor, the best move is to ask him a question from this sphere, and then ask you to enlighten you. Communication will be provided to you!

If you are in a unconscious society, it is better not to join the conversation until they penetrate the "overall spirit" and do not understand what people are interested. For this, just listen carefully to each speaker. Your position of the listener, in combination with the metro directed clarifying remarks, will be appreciated, because everyone loves to say, but only units can listen to listen.

Do not interrupt

This is perhaps the main principle of any conversation on which the ability to communicate with people is built. Unnecessary replicas, translating a conversation to his own person, impatient, not the desire to listen, and the desire to speak, at the same time brazenly interrupting the speaker will not be pleasant to anyone. Such behavior will soon cut the circle of your communication, for egoism, dominance and lack of sensitivity in the conversation characterize you as an extremely unpleasant interlocutor.

The ability to listen - that's what you need

Specify the right questions

However, it is silent to listen to the interlocutor, having a word for his entire monologue, do not pronounce a word, is also not the best option. Ask him from time to time questions, showing my interest and giving it to understand that you like to talk to him and listen to him. Try not to overdo it with questions, otherwise the conversation smoothly flies into the interrogation framework. Those who are difficult to communicate with people can be started to fight complexes from this method. At the same time, questions may be approximately such: "Yes? Is it really? And what happened then? Yah! Is it true? Yes you? What's next?" At the same time, it is not recommended in the conversation:

criticize the profession of the interlocutor;
unceremoniously interested in his income;
confuse his name;
download it with your problems;
show excessive familiarity (clap on the shoulder, shake, grab the buttons, etc.);

join the dispute;
to the whole view to show your superiority.
to hold on arrogantly and arrogantly, according to the principle "I do not communicate with anyone, but it fell to you (LA), so be happy";
do not recognize your wrong, although it is obvious.

Try to communicate with everyone benevolently, politely, avoiding slang and Panibrate relations. Do not complain to everyone in a row to your unfortunate destiny, low-paid work, a despotic chief, traitors' friends. You will be listened to one, the second time, but the third will be avoided, since you have a bad habit of sow negative. If you are open, optimistic and responsive to communication - you will open the doors to any society.

Control the negative emotions

How to learn to communicate with people and tie up long acquaintances? To do this, first of all, you should work on yourself, above the qualities of the nature that prevent you from locating people.

The ability to communicate with people is a special kind of art, over which you also need to work. This means that a person should be able to recognize his mistakes and try not to allow them in the future, as well as control negative emotions.

Expand the horizons

So that you are in the eyes of people not only the usual listener, but also a person with whom it is pleasant and interesting to talk, actively expand your horizons. Read books, interest news, events, people. Agree, with an erudite interlocutor, the conversation is much more interesting than with a person who cannot associate two words. Not only the rules of behavior are important for the fruitful and exciting conversation, but what you can give the second side will be able to understand your interlocutor and support the conversation on this or that topic. After all, a comprehensively developed person knows how to communicate with people, it is able to quickly adapt to the conversation and quickly finds a common language with people.

Speak clearly and clearly

To learn to communicate - communicate!

Many people, experiencing awkwardness and embarrassment when talking, try not to talk with anyone, thereby further exacerbating their position. Man avoiding communication will never be a good interlocutor! You will learn to lead a relaxed conversation only in case of active communication. Throw your complex "I'm afraid to communicate with people" and start talking. No one demands from you a fiery speech of the leader, exciting the story of a speaker, who repulses the monologue of the advertiser, you can first just ask questions, talk to familiar topics and listen. Remember, the more you communicate, the faster you will know the basics of communication. At the same time, it is not necessary to complicate your life with reading literature on this topic, it looks for hundreds of sources on the Internet and carefully prepare every word. You just need to communicate, regularly training skills with different people.

Speak with sellers in the market, in a supermarket and boutiques, communicate with colleagues and acquaintances. Each conversation, every new meeting will become a brick in your experience and will help improve self-confidence. Write your monologue on the video and watch the facial expressions, gestures, speech. You will immediately become clear, than to work on what should be done, and what is your advantage. Train and remember that the word power is large, multifaceted and is able to provide a powerful impact on your life.

We hope that we gave comprehensive answers to the question of how to learn to communicate with people.

Many people experience fear of communicating with people. Some people easily appear in front of a huge audience, easily dating and easily support any conversation by filling her jokes. For some, to support the usual household conversation - a whole problem. Why is this happening? How to learn to communicate with people? Is it possible to learn to communicate easily and not feel the fear or is it a gift that is not available to everyone?

Communication skills are necessary for us every day. Many people think that this skill is needed only to businessmen to successfully negotiate. But it is not. Psychologists have proven that communication with people is one of the basic needs of a person who will not be able to replace anything else. Any relationship between people, whether friendship, marital relationships are impossible without communication. This is the basic need of a person, from which the sense of security depends, the feeling that we are loved and someone is needed, the feeling that we deserve respect.

Not the ability to communicate often leads to divorces, because the partners simply did not learn to negotiate. Many suffer from loneliness only because they are afraid to approach and make a new acquaintance. Communication, relations and psychology are inextricably linked and very strongly affected by the quality of life of a person.

The ability to communicate is necessary to each person, this is the key to success in many areas of life. You must understand what to talk and communicate is not the same thing. The concept of communication in psychology is a rather complex process that includes both verbal and non-verbal communication. An important role is played not only the meaning of your words, but also the timbre of your voice, intonation, poses and gestures. And the most important thing is the thoughts and feelings that are in your subconscious.

The interlocutors always feel, what feelings and emotions you are experiencing when communicating. The psychology of interpersonal communication studies the problem, what do people actually be afraid when communicating, what feelings do they have? It may be a fear of rejection or refusal, anger on offenders, the fear of saying something nefopal, to be incomprehensible and untruth, fear to express your opinion, low self-esteem and diction problems.

Fear of communicating with people usually begins in childhood. And becoming an adult, many can not survive some psychological injuries inflicted by parents or peers. "Do not say nonsense" - the crown phrase of many parents, who sow in the child an insecurity of himself practically for life. Often influence the painful performances at the board or ridicule of peers. Of course, it may be not such deep problems. For example, a person may experience difficulties in communicating if it is unable to install contacts, too modest, shy, has a low self-esteem or complexes about appearance, it is afraid to cause the displeasure of other people or due to character, unable to listen and understand other people.

If you are aware of your problem and often say yourself: "I do not know how to communicate," it's time it has come to talk with a psychologist who will help to find the reason for the disorder of your communicative abilities and will give practical recommendations how to fix them. You can also help yourself.

Now there are a lot of worthy books on the psychology of communication, which are worth reading:

"The power of charm. How to conquer the hearts and seek success "(Brian Tracy, Ron Arden)
"Psychology of Influence" (Robert Challini)
"Hidden managing man" (Viktor Shaynov)
"Mentalist" (Frederick Rapil)
"Grossmaster Communication" (Sergey Dryabo)
"Do not grow on a dog" (Karen Pryor)
"Psychology of Mass and Human Analysis I" (Sigmund Freud)
"How to talk with anyone, when you want and anywhere" (Larry King)
"How to conquer friends and influence people" (Dale Carnegie)
"The games in which people play" (Eric Burn)

How to learn to communicate with people: communication rules

It has best formulated the rules of communication Dale Carnegie in his books. Here is some of them:

Secrets of communication include non-verbal communications techniques. To fully learn to communicate, you need to learn the language of the television. It is unlikely that someone will carefully listen to the speaker who will stand in front of the public bumping and the bubble something under his breath. People always pay attention to the voice of voice and speech speed. Also special attention is attracted by man's eyes. We often notice, he looks confident, a bevel, slyly or "eyes are burning." There are psychological trainings that learn correctly look at the interlocutor - right, openly, with interest, not angry and without giving it.

As for the facial expressions, it is possible to find out the mood of a person or send certain signals yourself.

In gestures and pose of a person, it can be easily determined, closed or open during communication. If the hands are crossed in pockets or compressed in fists, then this suggests that a person wants to burn out from you, stop chatting. Open poses, deployed palms say that a person wants to communicate. Openness can also be learned on psychological trainings.

Unusual, but effective techniques of communication

To overcome the fear of communication, you can first try to communicate by phone. Write on the leaf of paper all the questions you want to know and call, for example, in the beauty salon. Find out what procedures are, their cost, recommendations. It will be an excellent first step towards overcoming fear.

You can try at least 10 minutes a day to talk with a chair or a vase. It is very difficult, in fact. First tell me how you are doing, then make a conversation plan and stick it. This is a very effective technique for overcoming fear in communicating with people.

Try to start a relaxed conversation with 10 strangers every day. For example, with the seller, pharmacist, neighbor, etc. Try each of them to say some compliment. It is very secrets.

Psychology of communication helps a person get rid of fear of communicating with people. First of all, the psychologist helps to realize that the problem really is, helps to identify the cause of the problem and work on these problems.

A person who is aware of his fear of communicating with people must be pretty to work hard to overcome these problems. In addition to psychological trainings, it is important to read a lot, learn more than new information. The goal is not so much in becoming an interesting interlocutor how much to become an interesting person.

If a person notices that they do not want to communicate with him, then he is not interesting. Lack of energy, drive, hobbies and hobbies. But all this is fixable.

Separately there is a problem of communication with the opposite sex. How many lonely women and men who dream to meet their halves. Pollute with a pretty girl or a guy prevents again fear.

You need to know what communicating with the opposite sex, as soon as the moment appears when you no longer talk about, a person loses interest to you. Therefore, you need to learn about the hobbies and hobby guy or a girl, try to figure it out so that you can easily support the conversation.

Often, guys and girls perceive the opposite sex as an alien creature, so to establish contact, the girl will have to learn something about football and beer varieties, and a guy about cosmetics and fashion.

With the opposite sex, try to behave naturally and positively, do not forget to smile, talk compliments, exercise sincere interest.

Do not be afraid to admit if incompetent in some question. Ask the question to your partner, it will be nice to him that you are interested in learn more about his hobbies. In general, when communicating with guys, it is important to concentrate on them, and not yourself. And do not tell too much about yourself, a couple of facts from life and no more. Do not allow in conversation of vulgarity and intimate details at first meetings. Avoid women's gossip and discussion.

When communicating with a girl, sincerely smile, say unobtrusive compliments and ask questions so that she can answer them in the unfolded form.

In general, in order not to experience fear in communication, and in principle, not to have any problems with it, you must first become interesting to yourself and make your life bright and exciting. All you do is do for yourself. You are responsible only for a life, my happiness. As soon as your life is filled with paints, people themselves will search for meetings with you and have a desire to talk to you.

All in your hands!