How to cope with a feeling of insult: Tips for psychologists. In the past, he experienced mental injury and is afraid of rapprochement with a woman, only with surface contacts

Anyone, regardless of age, social status or sex, came across life with events that were offended. Each story is special, some have common features, others are purely individual, however, the result is one everywhere: the emergence of an unpleasant feeling called offend.

On our site site we decided to reveal this question as in detail as possible, because This problem worries many people. So, proceed.

What is resentment?

According to the laws of the energy field, a person who thought was disturbing the harmony of his own life. After some time, this problem is able to disorder the established way.

Therefore, the question of how to forgive the insult is always relevant and requires detailed consideration. After all it is only worth getting rid of the negative, and the world will gain again bright colors , emotions and will give a person the opportunity to experience new, exciting sensations.

What is the insult

It is easy to offend a person, it can make any individual, a certain character and the right to a similar error. Often, the people who did not even suspect that he had committed something negative, and continues to lead his everyday life. While another man, who felt the cargo of negative emotions, suffers from day to day and, sometimes, hesitates the plan of ignition.

The feeling of resentment consists of a whole gamut of sensations, the main of which are two:

Anger, directed towards the offended person.
Feeling your own vulnerability, pity for yourself.

Experts consider that the symptism is a sign of an egocentric, when a person wants everything to concentrate around his person. The inability to control everything and everything, as well as to manage the events occurring, insults such an personality causing the emergence of negative feelings.

Resentment consists of several components:

pre-built expectations: a person intentionally or not, wants to feel a specific reaction or hear special words. However, the other personality is special thoughts and character, therefore, both of how he reacts to the event may be completely unexpected;
observation of the response: Having created a certain behavior for himself, a person appreciates how the visa responds, comparing with his own opinion (having fermented differences);
comparison of the expected and real event: these two positions are rarely coincided, which causes a feeling of disappointment. And the insult will be the stronger, the more differences arose.

If you hope for yourself, to pronounce the problems out loud, then the emergence of the offense will become a rare phenomenon. And it's easier to prevent this negative situation, rather than look for options, how to forgive the offense and let go.

Dimensions of Obid.

Offended condition - destructively in essence, it does not contribute to the emergence of positive feelings, but also kills their remnants. It may only be worse than this to be revenge, which (when embodying it in reality) completely changes the life of a person.

Obid Options:

Reaction to injusticearising from the leaning pride, betrayal or deception, offensive phrases or sorry said words. Despite the validity of such sensations, they still carry a negative color and harm to a person.
Means of manipulative effect: man independently provokes development conflict situation, in order to provociate a quarrel.
Formal reaction: Resentment arises if some event occurs differently than the traditions of society are made. There are often cases that a person expresses his insult even when she does not hurt him, but it is accepted on such a situation.

There is one universal recipe, how to cope with the offend: forgive it for his own calmness to save sincere comfort . But with the interlocutor, who had an offense, perhaps, to maintain communication should not be, sometimes, it is possible to release the offense only with a complete rupture of relationships.

The effects of insult

The touchy person may suffer not only from psychological discomfort, negative emotions Through psychosomatics, provoke the development of pathologies of a number of bodies and systems:

decrease in immunity;
disruption of the thyroid gland;
heart disease and vessels;
oncological neoplasms;
mental disorders;
migraine;
pain in the head.

The importance of forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important part of human life, there are representatives of different religions. The offender does not appear just like this, it comes to learn the individual to do anything. Therefore, from each situation you need to be able to highlight the lesson.

For example, a woman who often offends men is worth thinking about whether it is not too dissolved in them or, on the contrary, experiencing a subconscious aggression to representatives of the opposite sex.

If a person finds options, how to work offense and get rid of it, he will be able to achieve the following:

free from severity of cargo;
feel the taste for life;
again will be able to love and trust;
he will feel the inner peace.

Getting rid of offense, it is very important to take such steps:

Realize that every resentment is a kind of lesson who was sent over so that a person learned to something. Strong emotions caused by negativism of the situation do not allow this to understand, but after getting rid of them, a person knows the meaning of what happened.
Remember all the insults and people who provoke them and allocate in two lists of those who disappeared very much, and those who simply caused the emergence of negative emotions. So you can build a procedure for the forgiveness of the offense and make a decision, from which to get rid of earlier - from serious disappointments or minor problems.

What kind of disadvantage is difficult to dismiss?

Offended by native people - mom, dad, brother, beloved man, which can be more painful?

Hashed to the mother often arises in adolescents who can blame the parents in the fact that it does not support, criticizes or reproaches. Through time, a person understands that all the insults on their parents were fleeting, they do not have the meaning that they were attached to youth.

A little later arises offended by partners family relationshipThey are projected by problems that were not solved with relatives.

Effective forgiveness techniques

Psychologists have developed a lot of technicians who will help to deal with the insults and eliminate them from their own life. The disposal from the offense can be held using such methods:

Revenge in thoughts: It is worth only to imagine (in the smallest details), as you revenge a person, feel His emotions and your own satisfaction, as a desire to do this in reality, can disappear.
Write 3 lettersOne of which should contain only anger and pain (should not write insults and suicide words), the other (written in a day) is to express all the feelings that did not find reflections in the first message. In the third letter - to notify a person about forgiveness and thank him about the leased lesson. All messages should be re-read, then destroy.
Retire in the room, sit on the chair, but, on the contrary, put empty. Singing, one should voice all his emotions, resentment, disappointment, as if referring to a particular person. No need to restrain tears, it is more important to express all the feelings, be it laughter or hysterical.

How to forgive insult: 10 ways

If the methods described above did not bring the expected effect, you can try the methods described below:

it is understood that the resentment bears evil, heating it with constant thinking sow only the devastating emotions, which should be disposed of;
having decided to delete these negative emotions from his own heart, it follows, without going on about the own pride, which is not allowed that it is so easy to remove the offense of thoughts and soul;
recognize in the depths of the soul that insult is the destructive force that is unlikely to bring satisfaction, and will serve as an endless source of pain and disappointment;
tune on positive motivationBy having accepted the fact that he learned to forgive, you will easily step over such obstacles and become free from pain and other people;
believe that noise, life is filled with joy, ease and mass of positive emotions;
make sure that only strong people, independent of not on time said words or perfect action, attract to themselves similar in spirit and worldview;
find the weakness in yourself, which caused a destructive effect of resentment on the soul and feelings. It needs to be closely learned, comprehend and do everything to disappear from consciousness;
learning to forgive, understand that there are people (or actions) who are able to offend and do everything so that these feelings leave think: to repeat themselves "God's judge to him", "I will not judge him, because he himself is not perfect";
in no case to take revenge, but, present lessons to those people who wounded your feelings. You can punish - do it, no - forget about the situation once and forever;
you can smoke with your own experiences: a sense of humor can reduce any problem in the rank of anything worthy of little things.

Forgiveness through prayer

This method of getting rid of the offense will be especially useful to those people who are tremendously relate to their own religion. Regardially, the confession to which you belong to, you should choose the saint, its image or an icon, to which you can ask for help.

It is not necessary to go to the temple or mosque, enough at home, in full silence, contact the chosen shrine. It should be asked about a miracle, about getting rid of the soul of the offense and negative feelings.

Method Louise Haye

To implement this method, you need to do this:

choose a place where no one will break the privacy;
settle in a comfortable chair;
include relaxing melody;
light flavored candles;
achieve complete relaxation, ranging from the top and ending with the tips of the fingers on the legs;
throw out all the foreign thoughts from the head;
present himself on the stage on which only one person is located, the one who embedded;
imagine that with a man on stage something amazing is very good (delay this vision in his mind);
make a speaker disappear, after which it is to imagine yourself on this platform experiencing the same emotions as the previous person.

This exercise makes it possible to understand that the world is sufficiently kindness for each of its inhabitants, get rid of the cloud of dark thoughts swaying in the head. It must be repeated 1-2 times a month to feel how simpler it becomes to live.

Meditation Svillaisha

According to this theory, you need to recreate your own mental eyes, such a situation:

choose a person who has brought offense (for example, father);
to mentally repeat the phrase that would confirm your positive attitude towards him, understanding his individuality and forgiveness for all the negative, actions or words to your address. Take the fact that not only you forgive your father, but he forgives you.

If the appeal is performed for 3 hours in the total amount, it will gradually arise a pleasant feeling of warmth in the chest, indicating about deliverance from negativism against these people. For complete cleansing own soulIt makes sense to work on this scheme of all who ever brought you unpleasant emotions.

Technique M. Murakhovskaya

To get rid of the offense according to this technique, you should find a little free time, get comfortable, and draw in thoughts such picture:

present yourself on a country road, along which rich in a rich meadow meadow blooms;
as much as possible to imagine birds shrubbing in the embroidery, buzzing insects and flavors of flowers;
submit a person going to meet that will be your father;
go to him and speak, saying the following: "Forgive me dad for the fact that I confused you, did not do as it was necessary. Sorry and thanks for everything to be and what was not in our lives. I love you very much, goodbye and do not think that you should something ";
now you see how my father gradually turns into a small, first teenager, then a preschooler, then a baby who fits on your palm;
you love him immensely;
you put this part of your native person in your own heart, wherever it is scared, where it will be in comfort and security;
now you need to exhale and go on;
after a moment, to imagine that your mom met on the road and, again, play the situation that happened during a conversation with his father;
having placed a mother's part to his own heart, you continue to go and meet on the road yourself;
now you need to pronounce these words: "Forgive me for everything: for a constant assessment, criticism. I love you very much, you are for me - the most native and close ";
your reflection also decreases to the size of the crumb, and you put it in your own heart, repeating words about strong love in relation to him;
from that moment on, in the depths of your consciousness, there are an inner child and his parents, your particles that help you live and breathe with complete freedom from any sorrows and offend, be in harmony with yourself;
having made a deep breath, you can open your eyes, now contact with my own "I" is adjusted, in the same scheme you can cope with the resentment on other people.

Other equipment disposal techniques

To cope with the insults overwhelming consciousness, very it is important to change your worldview. To do this, you need to stop automatically responding to a negative by such behavior, and it is thoughtfully to choose the model of your actions.

Exists several options for the development of the situation:

forgiveness;
rejection of inclusion is offended;
protection of the borders of his personality or, on the contrary, opening interior doors;
aggressive or friendly answer.

Technique stop

This technique is used to stop unconsciously respond to what is happening around the event, and to begin thoughtfully choose the model of its own behavior.

Feeling that you are ready to take off the resentment, you should act in this way:

stop yourself;
to retire for 7-10 minutes, interrupting the conversation with the offender;
make 10 deep breaths;
refuse to think about the situation by watching breathing;
mentally decide what is the problem that you are offended;
it is understood that the situation is far from justice;
realize that you can show aggression or just go;
select the most adequate way to respond to the current situation.

As for unconsciousness. There is an excellent school of Mary Shakti in St. Petersburg, here is its website, there are constantly deep seminars on attracting awareness of human life, I recommend.

Technique of lack of power

This technique can be used in cases where it is difficult to keep yourself in the hands, at the moments when any criticism or wrongly said word can cause a flow of tears.

How to pull yourself out of the resentment?

Realize those feelings (malice, pity, anger,) that you are currently experiencing.
To understand that the offense is constantly present in your head, completely independent of which person is near.
Physically expressing the feelings who take you, retaining for this (to cry, scream, buried, wave fists). Move emotions by releasing them to freedom.
Increase your own energy level: you can drink tea with large quantity Sugar, to easter candy or a spoonful of honey. Slow and deeply breathe for 5-7 minutes.

Slip technique

The main task is to hold yourself away from the situation. You can be present in it only physically, it is morally necessary to imagine one of the following options:

submit that the opponent is talking to the TV screen, which is turned off;
lower between the interlocutor and you are strong, but transparent wallnot missing words;
imagine that the offender is in unusual for him, a funny (humiliating) position.

Elevation technique

You can distract from resentment by concessions. To become above a person, not to be included in the dispute, yielding: sometimes all these actions are not humiliating for a person, on the contrary, they act a testimony of his mind.

To meet, allowing close to occasionally to release steam, not surcharge to find out the relationship - it is a skill, without which an adult is hard to live.

Do not act to the detriment of your own "I", yielding in fundamental points.

The main thing, to convey to a person that the current situation is offensive to you, allow him to become in your place and to find the right way out.

To defend the boundaries of self-person, you can use this way of caring from offended:

for a few moments, to renounced the situation, calm down, make a breath with the involvement of the abdominal muscles (this is necessary to suspend the launch of the usual options for the development of events);
take responsibility for your own actions and to deposit the offender in time - stopping the flow of curses and, saying that you do not intend to continue the conversation in such a tone and do not allow such a handling.

This technique requires a person to have a certain degree of rigidity in which it is necessary to answer such actions. The evil is also required to react by justice.

Forgiveness of betrayal

The betrayal of a loved one is one of the most serious offensive, from which it is difficult to get rid of. To forgive him, let go from thoughts, impressive internal forces are required. Highly it is important to stop feeling the role of the victim and go into the grade of the Creator.

The method of forgiveness looks like this:

feel the desire to forgive man;
understand what is hidden for the offend, what benefit she brought in your life;
this awareness can lead to the thought that the person to forgive the person is no longer anything, you should simply thank it for the deed.

How to refrain from resentment

Resentment - destructive power, most often it arises in response to the undeserved criticism of another person. Hisoid words affect the heart when saving calm is impossible.

How to learn to keep yourself in the ultrasound and stay calm?

Do not strive to immediately answer the offender: In anger, you can say what it would be worth silent. Such a quarrel can grow into a real catastrophe when said cannot be returned. Therefore, it is important to cool and carefully analyze every pronounced word.
Do not give the interlocutor to hurt you for living, not let him get a goal: Do you feel that the offender enjoys the current situation? Ask what can I fix it if the opponent there is nothing to answer, it means that he is not able to fairly criticize you, and listen to him, but, even more so, take them close to heart - should not.
Try to justify the offender, consider the situation from his position. Calculating the motives of the behavior of the interlocutor for themselves, it will only be possible to sympathize with this person, while the place of insult will not remain at all.

Three ways not to be offended

Self-control - Important qualitywho possess them people are strong personalities, resentment from which they just bounce.

Exists 3 ways to resist negative:

Learn to forgive man even before the offense will blow you with head . I will regret it, such a weak and unfortunate.
Find out what the interlocutor is trying to hurt you . The conversation for souls allows to solve many problems that at first sight seem unresolved.
Be sure to produce negative emotions to freedom . If you constantly keep anger and irritation inside, it's great to get breakdown or mental disorder. To prevent this, it is necessary to release steam in a timely manner: to retire and shout, break 2-3 plates, hit the pillow or the wall. It is desirable that at this moment there were no close people who can scare it. In time, the negative released on freedom, makes a person relaxed and calm when all resentments cease to seem significant and do not affect the soul.

With this article read:

Insult is a grief, strong negative emotionwhich causes experiences. What offends people? It may be waiting for praise, admiration and delight for your efforts. You expected everyone to surprise anything, and no one noticed your efforts. It may be a situation when one bad person called you Tolstoy. Although you yourself are sure that you are just fullent. Despite the fact that you have not tried to convince anyone in our harmony, an unexpected feud caused offense.

As a rule, the discrepancy is associated with the inspection between what you think about yourself or something related to you - your manners, hairstyle, the results of work - with how they are judged by others. And if you find unflattering reviews unreasonable, it offends.

Cope with the offense and with angrily associated with it is not so difficult

1. Analysis of the situation

Certain an offense helps the correct analysis of the situation. If the analysis does not carry out, offense will cause negative emotions for a long time. And ultimately can give rise to uncertainty in their own power.

A wonderful way to understand the situation yourself is to try mentally or aloud to tell yourself about the insult. During the presentation, the cause and degree of resentment becomes much clearer. And therefore in some cases everything becomes in its place. Harmony quickly passes and does not have to worry for a long time.

2. Extract benefits

Analyzing the offense, it is worth allowing that the offender is right. Especially if it was offended not ignorant, but just unclean. That is, it is necessary to assume that the offender turned out to be the most boy who was the first exclaimed: "And the king is naked!".

Well in this situation, what appears a reason to consider its beliefs and the principles that have been leaning. Perhaps it is worth discussing a situation with a close person. And if the words of the offender will be confirmed, it is worth benefit. And something to adjust in your behavior or life.

3. Wait time and not start fighting offext and anger

Reichsheore's servicemen (German Armed Forces of the First World Voons) were punished if the emotions and resentment caused, in their opinion, injustice from the authorities, and filed a report on the incident to the earliest boss on the same day. According to the approved regulations, it was necessary to wait three days. And only after that get to the report. What is not a way to cope with the offense and with anger?

4. To learn not to wait for gratitude

Resentment, annoyance or anger can be caused by the lack of gratitude for one or another service provided. In this case, learn how to cope with the offend - just not to expect thanks. Understanding that the relationship "You - I, I - You" give you by the guys.

5. Does your offense deserved?

In some cases, it helps to cope with the evidence of the understanding of the circumstance that the offender often does not even think about the fact that he hurt someone. And you are worried and struggling with angrily. It's time to ask yourself - your offender is definitely worth such long attention, even if mental?

6. "No one will kick a dead dog"

In some cases, aggressive lunge, which caused your resentment is a hidden recognition of your advantages. So it's all about it. And therefore you need to rejoice as you imagine something to others. And do not struggle with anger.

7. Do not succumb to provocations, not be offended and not angry

The best way to cope with the offense is to warn this feeling. And when someone is trying to annoy or offend, it is best to just ignore such a person. Because only you power to manage your emotions. And drawing words will not be able to hurt you and all the more cause your insult. You can even say it to the one who is trying to offend you.

8. If you do not want to cry, make the offender cry

As you know, cope with the offense means to overcome anger, which is actually another resentment name. Yes Yes exactly. The insult is anger, which is manifested in the form of resentment in the relationship between people. And in order not to have a resentment, it is necessary to destroy anger through aggression. It is best immediately by sending aggression on the offender. To be offended by you already had to him.

9. If you can not cut off the offender, you can trim the pillow

If the resentment and anger on a particular person penetrated you, it is not worthwhile to carry these emotions in yourself. And even more so do not accumulate them, fueling from a wide variety of everyday situations. On the contrary, it is necessary to learn how to get rid of them as soon as possible.

At home, you can start a special pillow you need to beat, stew, jump on it, pouring all the existing aggression against the offender. At the end of the "session" you must feel like anger and resentment no longer left.

You can also draw an offender, and after breaking the drawing, inserting all anger and aggression in the movement. People inclined to mystics can even burn the remnants of the drawing in the ashtray. The result should be one: anger and resentment should go and stop destroying you from the inside.

Feeling offense ... Do you know these sensations? The pressure ballast in the chest, the nervous bouffaging in the stomach, indignation ... Now, with fire, you will not find such a person who would never be offended by anyone. Rather, on the contrary - for many insults is an eternal companion in life, for we carry it with me for a long-to-year year.

"How could he?", "How did she dare?", "I'm not like that, I'm waiting for the tram ..." - We love to repeat, reproduce again and again unpleasant events of the past. However, the role of the victim does not bring the necessary relief, but, on the contrary, it aggravates the situation several times.

If you remove all the obvious causes of the type "I'll not call it once again," "the girlfriend did not again go with me to choose wedding dresses, and I was in my time ...", "I did so much for them, and they ..." and so on, then One very interesting item remains - unjustified expectations. Making something good for other people, we are accustomed to expect that they will come with us in the same way. But, unfortunately, everyone has its own idea about this reality. And what you consider the only true and correct, the opponent is represented as "possible, but secondary."

For example:

- The wife is offended by her husband, that he does not see her new hairstyles and does not say compliments, and he is that it has become cold. Each spouse awaits completely different confirmation of his love, but it does not mean that it is not. Their expectations simply do not coincide.

- The girl is offended that her girlfriend made her a remark. In her imaginethe friendship is support and mutual execution, the girlfriend thinks that it is straight and sincerity is the key to a long relationship.Each considers his expectation correct, but, as you can see, they also do not coincide ...

In addition, the resentment arises because of our excessive sense of importance. In some situations, we used to shift our problems on other people's shoulders, and assume that others are obliged to solve them ... but no one is obliged to us. Only you are responsible for your life.

Sometimes we manage to inflate our significance, and as a result - to be offended, in fact, in an empty place.

As, for example, I went to the pharmacy for a couple of months, and instead of the response "Hello" got rude: "Do not see, I'm busy !!!"The fact that the pharmacy was empty, and I did not distract anyone, I didn't matter for the pharmacist, I got, so to speak, under distribution. Was there I, then offended? Rather, outraged: "How so, I'm with good intentions ..."But the precipitate remained. And just because I succumbed to provocation of my importance.As a result, the man just threw the negative, and I some time allowed myself to carry it on myself. He forgot, I worry and offended, because it's progress and just unpleasant. But, ultimately, from the fact that I inflated my significance, I did not get easier ...

1. Learn to negotiate

If your offense is a consequence of the incompatibility of expectations and concerns close people, is it not easier to take the situation in their hands and talk? Sometimes one conversation with the beloved or the same girlfriend helps to save us from a feeling of resentment for a long time. Tell your vision of the "right" relationship and carefully listen to the partner. Believe me, you will become even closer to each other.

2. Reduce significance

The principle "You - I, I - You" does not work everywhere. You are responsible for your life. Influence others - this is a whole art, but you will never comprehend it by a negative surge of experiences. Do not cling to yourself someone else's negative, sometimes he is not standing, and no matter how sad it sounds, it will not be easier for you. Be care about your nerves.

3. Sorry

Forgiveness is a great thing, by the way, which is not always given and not all. It would seem that it could be easier than to forgive just so, of course. But the needle of the resentment was deeply in the heart ... Forgive me at least for myself. Understand that the boomeranga rule has not yet canceled: if your offender caused you a serious damage, it will be punished anyway. But let them take care of Higher powerLearn! Release this pain.

You still can't handle offend?

In this case, answer what is still noticed to your common feelings of anger, irritation, pain and disappointment? If among these concepts is pronounced the sense of own right, it means you just do not want to get rid of it. Yes, the paradox of the human psyche lies in the need for constant stroking internal Ya. In this case, the resentment passes with us life Pathbecause, remembering her, we are experiencing ... a certain sense of satisfaction caused by a simple phrase: "I'm right!" But, just imagine how much negative get along with it!

And now think: what is more important for you - know and remember what exactly you are right, or live full happy life? Here the choice is yours: or you are right, or happy. There is no other.

Anastasia Volkova

"I'm offended ..."

Such words more often hear from women than from men, probably, because women less often express their aggression than men, their feelings are softer.

The offense is most often felt in the field of chest. She is experiencing as "caustic", "smile" feeling that burns, pulls, presses. Sometimes overhangship is accompanied by tears - "tears of insult."

Hazard, like anger, most often occurs in close relationships. Than closer manThe stronger our insults.

Resentment is a children's form of anger. Anger is an emotion arising in a discomfort situation. She gives us strength in order to cope with the situation, protect yourself, to achieve the goal in spite of everything.

Usually, people who survived in childhood an aggressive or faint relationship from significant adults are prone. The child does not have enough flexibility and experience in order to adapt under the changing environment. And he seeks to win the love of adults, adjust the requirements for their requirements. Therefore, when close adults cost him rudely, undeservedly punished, the child usually reacts with an open anger, but offended. When traumatic situations are repeated often, the habit of offended is formed. It is also formed in the event that one of the parents (usually the same sex as a child) exhibits such a reaction to uncomfortable situations.

Usually, the feeling of resentment passes by itself, if not "feeding" his experiences. When we repeatedly remember the uncomfortable situation, scroll through it in front of a mental eyes, once at a time, having experienced a feeling of resentment, we contribute to the formation of its sustainability. When the offense becomes a lot, and our protective systems The organism is depleted, "somatization" of the offense can occur - the emergence of psychosomatic diseases against the background of experiences.

The habit of offended can even become a kind of protective mechanism - it helps to justify themselves in case of failure ("I prevented this to do it"), protects against errors ("I am offended and I will not continue to do it"). Resentment protects against the need to say "no" in difficult situations and makes it easy and justified to distance themselves from those relations in which you were offended.

By itself, the emotion of the resentment is neither bad nor good. This is just the reaction of our organism to the stimulus. But whether it is worth reminding that both for others and for the person himself, the overhangship is a painful, unpleasant process. The resentment energy (initially energy is anger) is necessary for us in order to oppose the goal. But when we are offended, this energy is squandered into an empty, "zakis" and our needs for which it stand out, remain dissatisfied. We stay in place, refuse our desires, lose or portal relationships.

Most. in an effective way The disposal from the offense is forgiveness. There are many techniques, meditations, visualizations that help forgive, get rid of the offense.

I want to offer you two techniques that Louise Hay in his book "Heal yourself".

Exercise "Dissolution of the offense"

Sit somewhere in silence, relax. Imagine that you are in a darkened theater and in front of you a small scene. Put on the scene of the person you need to forgive (the person you are the most in the world hate). This person may be alive or dead, and your hatred can be, both in live and in the present.

When you see this person clearly, imagine that something good happens to him, the fact that this person is of great importance. Imagine it smiling and happy. Delay this image in your view for a few minutes, and then let it disappear.

Then, when the person you want to forgive, leave the scene, put myself there. Imagine that only good things happen to you. Imagine yourself happy and smiling. And know that in the universe enough good for all of us.

Exercise "Mooked Presentation"

Here is another very good exercise. Imagine yourself with a small child (5-6 years old). Puck deep into the eyes of this child. Try to see a deep longguing and understand that this longing for love for you. Stretch your hands and hug this little child, press it to your chest. Tell him how much you love him. Tell me that you admire his mind, and if he makes mistakes, it is nothing, all do it.

Promise him that you will always come to help him if it is necessary. Now let the child be done very small, the magnitude of the pea. Put it in my heart. Let him settle there. When you look down, you will see his little face and can give him all your, such important for him, love.

Now imagine your mother when she was aged 4-5 years, frightened and thirsty of love. Stretch her hands and tell me how you love her. Tell her that she can count on you, no matter what. When she calms down and feels safe, put it in my heart.

And now imagine your father with a small boy of 3-4 years old, he is also very afraid of something and loudly, it seems to seelessly. You will see tears, which hail rolling on his face. You now know how to calm young children. Press it to your chest and feel his trembling body. Calm it. Let him feel your love. Tell him that you will always be next to him.

When his tears are dried, let him also become very tiny. Put it in my heart with you and your mom. Love them everyone, for there is nothing more holy than love for small children. In your heart enough love to cure our entire planet. But let's cure first themselves. Feel the heat that populates your body. Softness and tenderness. Let this expensive feeling begins to change your life.

It is possible when you start performing these exercises, a sense of resistance will arise. "Forgive - they? For what they did? And for nothing! Never! Yes, I just will not work! I do not want to do this!" This is the natural reaction of the body to violate the usual stereotype of activity, no more. Over time, these reactions will be less emotional and after some time practice you can easier to forgive and forget the insults.

However, in my opinion, it's not enough to learn to forgive enough. It is useful to learn to be resistant in their aspirations and desires, learn to achieve them, despite the failures and resentment. The more you will implement own desires And aspirations, the less you will have reasons to be angry and offended. And the more you will have a reason to experience joy and satisfaction from life.

Of course, you can say: "Why should I make efforts? After all, they are offended by me. It would not hurt them to stop doing this "I will answer this: we ourselves are the creators of our own life. Of course, you can wait for someone else no longer spoil your life. And you can learn to respond to such situations easier and be joyful right now. What do you choose?

Many people can accommodate their lives immersed with the cargo of the offense. The feeling of offense is inextricably linked with psychological aspects Her origin. The resentment is very diverse, they can flow out of childhood, new, turn newly additional moments.

The very word assumes a sharpening on the past, more precisely, bad events.

Such a feeling actually brings harm to man. This feeling allows you to manipulate another person.

Sometimes people can be offended specifically to control any person to get something for themselves. Such people understand that with the help of offense they can achieve a lot from the right person.

The consequences of frequent offenses

Offense - This is an emotion that does not give to feel the joy of the surrounding world. There are so sharp offenses that people cannot do without a specialist who will help get rid of her. Only a psychologist will help to understand the reason for the emergence of this emotion and prevent its rebirth into the disease.

Some scientists say that resentment can undermine and health. Even nominated the theory that the insult can cause cancer, since such a person cannot forgive, and she gnaws him from the inside. No one in force to change last life

If a person is not ready for some event or does not accept it, then in this case there is a feeling of resentment. Frequent repetition develops into a chronic form, which is called the offstream. Adults may well control emotions and fight offend, it is very difficult for a child. Resentment, if it happened infrequently, once, quite natural emotion, but it is worth getting rid of offensiveness.

Man can be offended in different ways

Some people cease to communicate with the offender, others express all sorts of claims to his address, the third - cry and silent. And these are just some examples. But in order not to be done, the environment will not change, it is equal to attempts to change today's rainy weather. The offender is still that the person feels, and he can find a lot of justification.

Another important moment: If a person experiences an acute insult, then this situation may appear to be offended. Maybe you are not very significant for such a person, and maybe this person himself expects more. Not all people are friendly and noble, but many people are friendly and responsive and not all appreciate their good qualities.

How to defeat unfairly causing

To defeat such a feeling you need to work on yourself. A balanced person, a mature personality reacts adequately, such people are guided by reason, not feelings. You can just tell the opponent that his words hurt the soul. Then the offender will explain his position with reasonable arguments. He will have a feeling of repentance, shame. He will ask for forgiveness.

Be sure to find out the causes of grief. Mature man will strive for this. The reason you need to look for not only in the opponent, but also in yourself. Not only "you're guilty", but think about that "why I'm offended."

Very often, people try to replace the insult with joyful mood, but then she goes into the unconscious. Such an approach will definitely cause a depressive state in the future, because the offense has not done anywhere, did not say. It is a reasonable to catch them, find out the source of the offense.

Do not forget that you also need to offend other people. It is not necessary to insult a person, you need to clarify the current situation, explain that it was the reason for the resentment. The opponent will ask what he did this and as a result of the dialogue problem will be exhausted.

You can not hide your feelings

Such an approach will allow you to better understand others and yourself, remove hurt moments with thoughts. When feelings are pronounced, the cause of resentment becomes clear. Therefore, it is impossible to shy your experiences, emotions, talk about them. Thanks to this method, it is easy to protect with the insults, and they will not turn into a superability.

It is worth remembering the main rule: it is impossible to subordinate the lives of people to themselves and their requirements. It is very important to learn how to seek reasons for yourself, do not shift the blame on other people. No one should anyone anything. If you take this position for yourself, then worrying will be easily.

But there are people who specifically affect a person are looking for in it weak spots, offended intentionally. In this case, it is not necessary to react violently, offended, screaming. Let such a situation be a lesson to accept the intention of the resentment to perceive like wind noise.

Many psychologists advise a variety of work techniques with insults. One of the interesting things is to write a letter to your abuser. It is necessary to write it alone, to pour off all your experiences and thoughts, perhaps even insults. After such an exercise, a person will definitely become easier.

Video. Why should not be offended by parents.

It is very difficult to live with a constant feeling of resentment. Such a state is oppressed, does not allow fully rejoice in life. You need to forgive offenders, justify them, understand. Thus, the person and himself becomes much better.