Funny scenes for children about school - jokes, humor, KVN. A scene about Vovochkin's dad and his physical education. A humorous scene for Teacher's Day based on the fairy tale "The Little Humpbacked Horse"
See also funny poems about school for kids. The advantages of our funny sketches are that they do not need costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and those who play the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be attached to a magazine), they do not need to be rehearsed for a long time. Moreover, these scenes are close to students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes by looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also see School Humor.
1. Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned homework... Whoever goes to answer first, he will receive a point higher.
Disciple Ivanov (pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov's!
Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful composition, but why is it not finished?
Disciple Sidorov: Because dad was urgently summoned to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Disciple Koshkin: I don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Disciple Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son admits when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word "egg", Sinichkin?
Disciple Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why not?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch out of him: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, define the gender of the words: "chair", "table", "sock", "stocking".
Pupil Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" - male, and the "stocking" is female.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and sort the sentence.
Pupil Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: "Daddy went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Disciple Smirnov: Dad is the subject, he left is the predicate, to the garage is ... an excuse.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Tyulkina's student pulls out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the number "three".
Disciple Sobakin: My mother works at a knitted fabric factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down a sentence.
Pupil Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies with nets.
Pupil Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inconsiderate?
Disciple Rubashkin: Why?
Teacher: Where did you see the bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Disciple Meshkov: What is it? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat is thin, crying is laughing, day is night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Disciple Petushkov: A cat is a dog.
Teacher: What does the "cat-dog" have to do with it?
Disciple Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why are you eating apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time at recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Disciple Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Disciple Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, bell!
2. Scene "Correct answer"
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Disciple: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Disciple: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Disciple: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is that?
Disciple: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Disciple: No, the plum should not.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Disciple: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Disciple: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Disciple: How much is correct?
Teacher: But now I will put the correct answer to you in my diary!
(I. Butman)
3. Scene "Our cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
The teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was guiltily silent, and then made a promise to improve. "
The student writes dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Great! Underline all nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: "dad", "mom", "Vova", "behavior", "Vova", "promise".
Teacher: Ready? Determine in which cases these nouns stand. Understood?
Disciple: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Disciple: “Dad and Mom”. Who? What? Parents. Hence, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. Hence, the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, and the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Take the diary, Petrov. I wonder what grade you would suggest to put yourself?
Disciple: Which one? Of course, the top five!
Teacher: Five, then? By the way, in what case did you call this word “five”?
Disciple: In the prepositional!
Teacher: Prepositional? Why is that?
Disciple: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)
4. Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I don’t know what you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Going to the board to solve the problem ... Trushkin.
Pupil Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin heads for the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going ?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!
Teacher: Petrov, bring your diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know mathematics!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how much is three times seven?
Disciple Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Disciple Ivanov: But mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get down to business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you cheating from Terentyev?
Disciple Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he writes it off from me, and I'm just checking to see if he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer me, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.
5. Scene "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Pupil Petrov pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Student Kosichkina: These are forests in which ... it's good to doze.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Disciple Simakov: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book have you read about famous travelers?
Pupil Petukhov: "The Traveling Frog"
Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev pulls out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Do you want to ask something?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from a monkey?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I'm looking at: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: He will go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Pupil Meshkov (going to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you are saying! Is it possible?
Disciple Meshkov: It happens! For example, Monday to Wednesday is two days, and Wednesday to Monday is five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, tell me, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because I am terribly worried lest the call interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Pupil Belkov pulls his hand above everyone else.
Teacher: Try it, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what teeth are the last to appear in a person?
Teplyakova's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very complex issue, for the correct answer I will immediately put an A with a plus. And the question is: "Why is European time ahead of American time?"
Pupil Klyushkin pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Disciple Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
6. Scene "Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder on the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother told me.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What's so funny? I have not even begun to tell.
Andrey (laughing): The folder ... under the arm! Good idea. Your folder won't fit under your arm, it's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy's. You have forgotten how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Oh, I guessed it! Grandpa - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, and also teaches. Now it is clear: dad's folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it's great you came up with it - it's funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn't listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Moreover, he dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller he found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)
7. Scene "3 = 7 and 2 = 5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: Why?
Teacher: For the whole year you did nothing, did not teach anything. I just don't know what to put in the list.
Petrov (looking gloomily at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What is it?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Veliky Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is equal to only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I've proven that three is seven!
Teacher: How is it?
Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. Hence, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3 (5-5) = 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We carry out the common factors: 5 (4-4) = 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanitch?
Teacher: Don't worry, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2 = 5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put "2", is it all the same. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn't matter, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it is better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to a five!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
8. Scene "Schoolboy and Salesman"
Characters: student and shop assistant
Sales assistant: What can you tell you?
Schoolboy: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales assistant: Not in the know.
Schoolboy: Okay ... Pythagorean Theorem?
Sales assistant:… (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales assistant: (sighing) I don't know ...
Schoolboy: Well, what are you trying to do with your “What can I tell you?” !!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
9. Scene "Schoolchildren at the stadium"
Characters: students and the stadium informant
A group of young fans, led by the leader, loudly chants:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly, the voice of the informant in the stadium turns on:
Informant's voice: Attention of young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
"SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!" "SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!"
(KVN team from Ryazan)
10. Scene "Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather"
Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov
Hello Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Ouch, deeds of power.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, one wick has frozen this. Rolls to the board. Give, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And he lets show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how he fights. Himself with a fingal. The teacher was almost crazy, but he was great. Into the rzhaka. Cool, isn't it?
- Was there a horse there?
- What horse?
- Well, that was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, you didn’t understand anything?
- Come on, let's start over.
- Well, let's. So one wick ...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- And what is this wick?
- Well, one guy, a long one, drove up to the shket ...
- What did he ride on a bicycle?
- No, the school had a bicycle.
- Which shket?
- Well, one shibzdik. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a schnobel.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with anyone, but with what, his nose is in the form of a schnobel. Well, let him, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he itch something?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how, sawed it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, great?
- How?
- Well, by this very, shnobel?
- No, the shnobel was at the school. And at the wick there was a fingal, he hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He had opened his mitten, so he fidgeted.
- And why a mitten, he fidgeted in winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a fingal, that is, with a great, no, with coils. But the very same rolling that is great was giggling.
- How did you go?
- And so, covered himself. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you do not know Russian at all.
- I don’t know!
- Do you imagine if everyone spoke like you, what would happen?
- What?
- Do you remember, at Gogol's. "The Dnieper is wonderful in calm weather, when it freely and smoothly rushes through forests and mountains full of water his own, neither will hesitate, nor thunder. You look and do not know whether its majestic width goes or does not go "and further" A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper.
- I remember.
- And now listen to how it sounds in your quirk language: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering around and showing off, cutting its cool waves through the forests and mountains. Doesn't shout, does not cover. you don’t know whether he is sawing or not. A rare bird with a schnobel will reach the middle of the Dnieper. Do you like?
- I like it, - he said and ran, shouting: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather."
(Lion Izmailov)
11. Young man in a nightclub
Characters: girl, young man, mother
A girl sits at the bar. A young man approaches her.
Young man: Hello baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Can you come with me? I will arrange an unforgettable evening for you!
GIRL: Sounds. But my mother is waiting for me at 23-00 at home.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! Are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom? Ha!
Suddenly young man someone's hand confidently takes the ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an aged woman.
YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, Mom! I AM…
MOM: I don’t want to hear it! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
12. Radiologist's office
Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist
Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
Enter the office little boy and grandma.
GRANDMA (pointing to the boy). Rummaged everything, glasses are nowhere to be found. I think he swallowed them. All in your grandfather!
RAYGENOLOGIST (to the boy). Have you swallowed grandma's glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANNY. Partisan! All in your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and through and find out everything.
GRANDMA (joyfully). Yeah, got caught! To have such a thing at home.
X-RAY GENOLOGIST (examines the photograph). Well, well, well ... You know ... he has not only glasses here, but also a wallet with money. I can't say for sure, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANNY. This is not ours, we do not need someone else's. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can't watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out onto the floor.
GRANDMA (grabs glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don't even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
X-RAYGENOLOGIST (turns the wallet in his hands). Do not. But the wallet, if possible, I will keep as a keepsake.
GRANNY. This is not ours, not ours, we do not need someone else's.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
X-RAYER (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)
Characters:
Dad: Serpent Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Mathematics teacher: Leshy
Geography Teacher: Kikimora
Botany Trainer: Witch
Homeroom teacher: Water
SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher's room):
... Yes, I told him a hundred times! ..
Well, what did he do again?
Leshy:
Multiplied minus with sine -
Got a minus one!
KIKIMORA:
Mixed up albinos
With albatrosses ...
WITCH:
Threw apricots ...
KIKIMORA:
Threw bubbles! ..
Leshy:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!
KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with a yawn!
WATER:
But yesterday
Dragged into class
Hippo !!!
Leshy:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!
BABA YAGA (oily):
Maybe give him poison? ..
Or thrown to the wolves?
AM -
And there is no bad student!
KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our century
Such measures are outdated.
Leshy:
A hundred years ago
We would have it,
Of course,
Have eaten ...
But now
We have
Not too many students
In reserve...
WATER:
Agree!
We will not resort
To extreme measures.
WITCH:
Let's try to captivate him
A good example.
SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmm ... Less, more ...
That is - more or less! ..
And yet...
WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example is not good ...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!
BABA YAGA:
Oh, how much trouble with children! ..
ZMEY GORYNYCH:
Lock him in the closet - let him teach lessons!
And if she doesn't stop yawning ...
ALL WELL:
We will turn it
Into chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)
14. Regime of the day
Characters:
Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya
PETER:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?
VOVA:
- Of course! Mode ... Mode - this is where I want, I jump there.
PETER:
- Not right! Regime is the daily routine. Are you doing it?
VOVA:
- I even overfulfill it.
PETER:
- Like this?
VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I have to walk twice a day, and I walk four!
PETER:
- No, you are not overfulfilling it, but violating it! Do you know what your daily routine should be?
VOVA:
- I know! Rise. Charger. Washing. Bed cleaning. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.
PETER:
- Good.
VOVA:
- And it could be even better.
PETER:
- How is it?
VOVA:
- Like this! Rise. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.
PETER:
- Oh no. With this regime, you will be lazy and ignorant.
VOVA:
- Will not work.
PETER:
- Why?
VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we carry out the whole regime.
PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?
VOVA:
- And so. Half of it is done by me, and half by my grandmother. And together we get the whole regime.
PETER:
- I do not understand!
VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lift. The grandmother is doing the exercises. Washing is grandma. Bed cleaning - grandma. Breakfast - me. The walk is me. Preparing lessons - me and my grandmother. The walk is me. Lunch - me.
PETER:
- Aren't you ashamed ?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.
https: // site / smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej /
15. About Pushkin
Two duelists are facing each other. One of them is Pushkin.
Second: Come on together!
Pushkin and his adversary raise their pistols. Suitable for barriers. Pushkin's opponent makes a shot. Pushkin is wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.
Pushkin: For what?
Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, they left me for the second year in literature !!!
16. School riddles
Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov
SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing to a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is well, a slow-witted! Riddles here I came across interesting about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. I, of course, guessed everything right away, and then Vovka decided to check for quick wits.
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: "Between two calls, the term is called ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!
SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that's right, "change" is appropriate, but there should be a clue to the rhyme!
VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, he said it was right, and then you start ...
SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me give you another riddle, just think before you say the answer. "The sportsman told us: Everyone should go to the sports ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Shop!
SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? What for? Where did you see him?
VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? You need to buy new sneakers, otherwise my soles are already lagging behind on my left foot. And the Sporttovary store is right in front of the school. You saw him a hundred times too.
SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But this riddle can you guess in rhyme? "Schools are not simple buildings, schools receive ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I almost didn't touch the bow at Lenka Petrova's, and she banged me over the head with a book.
SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to one more riddle: "And today I got a grade again ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
I again got a C and C in mathematics.
SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well Vovka and a slow-witted! Well slow-witted! Although ... I look, his face is sly, cunning. Maybe he was kidding me? Today is April 1st !!!
(Leonid Medvedev)
17. About parents
A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.
Man: Hello dear! ... Did our Bear do his homework? … Yes? How is he in his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room ?! Heck! Did you eat the soup ?! Nothing ... I just went to the store, and then the sale of belts!
According to the tradition in each of the Russian schools, all classes prepare their original performances on Teacher's Day. Long before October 5, the holiday date, elementary, middle and high school students are preparing dances and sketches for Teacher's Day. Funny, humorous performances of the guys and this solemn day are interspersed with reading unusual school stories, stories about the life of the teachers of the collective, personal congratulations of each of the teachers and the presentation of flowers and small, but always such pleasant gifts. To come up with or find a scene for Teacher's Day on the Internet or in a book is an individual decision made by the students themselves. High school students, students in grades 10-11, can prepare a dance or a scene for Teacher's Day without the participation of teachers and parents. Representatives of the parent group, senior schoolmates, teachers, leaders of musical groups and a music teacher are sure to help the primary classes.
Funny humorous scenes for Teacher's Day - video
The most favorite scenes, long-awaited performances on Teacher's Day, are small humorous performances. Children are eager to take part in funny performances. In these mini-productions on Teacher's Day, negligent students, overly strict and picky teachers, formidable parents, school orders, grading systems, exams are usually ridiculed ... In principle, everything that at least somehow relates to the topic of "school" can be a great topic for an impromptu funny scene... Children often stage famous literary works.
Funny Scene for Teachers' Day "Othello and Desdemona", video
For example, two young actors take part in the Teacher's Day scene "Othello and Desdemona". Desdemona, a schoolteacher completely absorbed in her work, absolutely does not understand the claims of her husband Othello. The same, reproaching the nice little wife for the lack of elementary food in the refrigerator, at first gently advises her to buy something to eat, go to the store. Desdemona's wife does not respond to claims; and, the exasperated, hungry husband of Othello pounces on his wife-teacher, who is too busy with his students. Only two people are required for this production, but they should be the most artistic guys.
Comedy scene for Teacher's Day "Choice of profession", video
Several students can participate in this scene, on Teacher's Day. The specifics of the production are such that the number of actors should not exceed 7-8 people: the guys will simply get confused in words. Fewer than 4-5 participants, the number of actors will reduce interest in a funny production. Before the start of the performance, the guys line up. The first of them begins to tell in verse or simply in his own words the advantages of his chosen profession. At the same time, he must actively gesticulate, depicting himself in work in the chosen specialty. The task of the next participant in the scene on Teacher's Day is the same, but towards the end of his performance, the first actor again begins to actively report on all the advantages of his work. The third actor tells about his profession, showing himself in his work with his movements. All those who spoke to him vying with each other extol the merits of their own occupations. The result is a very funny, messy, but great job.
Humorous scene "Funny dubbing" on Teacher's Day, video
Staging this reenactment on Teacher's Day requires preparation. You can choose any theme. All the "salt" here is a properly chosen dubbing of actors. The guys only portray situations from school life, not forgetting at the same time to gesticulate, articulate, behave as if they themselves are pronouncing the text. At this time, the recording sounds, cutting of phrases from films, cartoons, popular songs, poems. The guys get "other people's" voices, and in the end everything turns out to be very funny!
Interesting scenes for Teacher's Day for high school on video
While preparing sketches for Teacher's Day, high school students can imagine fantasies from their future family life, to parody politicians, popular singers and artists. Schoolchildren can portray future life each of the students in the class. For example, an actor playing the role of a poor student can show how in the future a would-be student gets a job, becoming the same would-be employee. One day in the life of a school "nerd" after graduation will also be fun and interesting to portray. In the popular scene "Test" you don't even have to try to portray something. The situation when the test "burst out", and you do not know anything, is known to every student. Most likely, the guys will recognize themselves and change something in their lives in time, and, of course, teachers will help them do this.
High School Teacher's Day Musical Scene
For Teacher's Day, high school students can prepare a musical scene. An excellent solution for a funny scene he will distribute female characters to boys, and instruct girls to play male roles. On the day of the performance in the musical scene, the actors do not speak the words themselves. For this, there is a cut of songs with words corresponding to the situation played out. The main thing for a Teacher's Day production is to be emotional on stage.
High school teacher's day parody scene
It is easy and fun to parody the performances of popular artists. To portray a "clip" for a famous song on stage is ridiculous for everyone, including the senior teachers. Teacher's Day is a happy holiday, therefore, on this day, all performances should be with a touch of humor, with enthusiasm, and gags.
Even the best Eurovision performances can be parodied!
Funny scenes for Teacher's Day for primary classes on video
Unlike high school students, schoolchildren in primary grades cannot yet memorize complex and long scenes. That is why it is better for students in grades 1-4 on Teacher's Day to distribute short texts of short speeches. Great idea will prepare one big performance for Teacher's Day, consisting of mini-sketches. It is better if these are anecdotal situations, parodies of the school and parents, of their classmates.
Scene "Lesson for parents" on Teacher's Day for elementary grades
In this production, on Teacher's Day, students primary grades act out a scene from the life of parents and their children. The son, trying to distract the "ancestors" from their beloved by watching TV and commercials, asks the older sister to spend time together, but the parents seriously convince the child that their activities are "extremely important." As a result, the "baby" that nobody needs, "rolls" to the bottom. You can come up with words for the actors yourself, or you can use the texts provided by the participants in the production.
Dance for Teacher's Day: Performed by Grade 5 (video)
When preparing a performance for Teacher's Day, children from grade 5 can choose a dance. By staging a dance to holiday, as a rule, the senior comrades of the fifth graders, their parents or the children themselves, attending ballroom and sports dances, are engaged. The dance can open a concert to celebrate a special day, or be part of a larger concert.
The direction of the dance Teacher's day, the guys and the director choose themselves. It can be contemporary (modern dance with elements of theatrical performance), disco, rock and roll, beautiful ballroom dance, hip-hop. The main thing when choosing a number is its entertainment and, of course, the availability of movements for young dancers. Performers can tap into their artistic talents.
Musical numbers and dances for Teacher's Day from grade 10 (video)
Schoolchildren in dance studios and just enthusiasts put on their dance for Teacher's Day.
High school students, pupils of grade 10, can depict a scene from school life in a dance, or simply present to the attention of the audience a beautiful, graceful ballroom dance or waltz.
On October 5, those who gathered to watch the concert, expect to see from the students primary school, 5-10 grades dances and funny, humorous scenes for Teacher's Day. From them, like brick by brick, a bright, unexpected by the discoveries of new talents of children, a gala concert for teachers and guests of the school is formed.
These funny scenes about school quickly and imperceptibly grew today from a children's anecdote about Little Johnny. I remember only one and often smile from him:
Teacher: Little Johnny, who took the Bastille?
Little Johnny: I don’t know, I didn’t take it. Honestly.
Today again there was a reason to remember)) Then I thought: what else can Little Johnny take or do? I began to compose, and then off we go. And these funny scenes about school and teachers were born, which can be played as a whole, as one, or can be broken into several small school sketches... I will describe the whole thing.
Scene
School class or school assembly hall
Characters:
Pupils: Little Johnny, Anya, Lyudochka, Sasha (boy)
Jury members:
Director of the school Vasily Petrovich
Language and Literature Teacher Nina Ivanovna
Chemistry teacher Inna Sergeevna
Geography teacher Boris Ivanovich
History teacher Tamara Vasilievna
Physical education teacher Bogdan Dmitrievich
Mathematics teacher Raisa Zakharovna
Scene props
A table for the director and teachers, if there is, then for the students
Chairs for all participants
Notebooks - each student in the hands and on the table in front of the teachers
Glasses for sight - at the director
Whistle or stopwatch on a long tape (hanging around the neck of the PE teacher)
A lady's bag with valerian tablets in it.
clothing
Pupils are dressed like your school.
The teachers are in business suits, the physical education teacher is in a tracksuit.
Action scene.
Children sit at their classy tables (or just on chairs if there are no tables), each holding a notebook.
The teachers and the headmaster sit at a table (or two tables arranged in one) facing the students, as the jury usually sits. The chemistry teacher sits on the edge, closest to the exit - she then runs away.
Nina Ivanovna rises and announces in a joyful voice:
Dear friends! Let me remind you that recently our entire school wrote an essay on the topic "My most beloved teacher." Today we are choosing the winner of the competitive essay out of 3 previously selected finalists. (She looks at Vovochka and the intonation changes to strict.) Little Johnny, why did you come? Your composition, in general, did not exist!
Little Johnny:
So I finished it, and now I'll read it!
Nina Ivanovna:
No, this will not work, you did not participate and you can go home.
Little Johnny:
Nina Ivanovna, do we have a democratic state or not? Or do you want me to stage a demonstration "Freedom of Speech Vovochka" around the school tomorrow?
The principal and teachers begin to whisper loudly:
Nina Ivanovna, let him stay!
Okay, Little Johnny, stay. (Changes voice to fake joyful) And I will represent our jury! (Farther announces everyone and himself too, giving his full name and position) And now the floor is given to Anya. I beg!
Anechka gets up and reads from a notebook:
My favorite teacher is Nina Ivanovna, because she is always giving me dictations to tell me where to put the commas.
Everyone begins to look sideways at Nina Ivanovna, and she - nervously smile and shoot her eyes. Quickly gets up and says:
Thank you, Anya, we understand. Please, Lyudochka!
Lyudochka rises and reads, loudly and with the expression:
And my favorite teacher is Raisa Zakharovna, our mathematics teacher. She always gives me "excellent" for control tests, even if at this time I take her son home from the extended program.
Everyone turns to Raisa Zakharovna, the director angrily takes off his glasses, and Raisa Zakharovna herself reaches into her bag, takes out sedative pills and swallows a couple of pills (in fact, HOW TO swallow).
Nina Ivanovna jumps up and says:
Lyudochka, thanks. Let's listen to Sasha.
Sasha gets up and reads:
And my favorite teacher is our physical education teacher, Bogdan Dmitrievich. Because my parents paid for new bars to the gym, and now I don't go to physical education at all.
Fizruk begins to strenuously examine what hangs on his neck.
The director indignantly asks his colleagues:
Who selected the compositions? They weren't read at all, or what?
The teachers hide their eyes and shrug their shoulders.
Little Johnny gets up and says:
By the way, what are your options? What can Little Johnny say on this topic? Post it for the competition!
Read also other and high school girls, as well as about physical exercises.
With a wish for funny scenes,
Your Evelina Shesternenko.
The concert opens with the song "I love you, my Krasnodar" (lyrics and music by N. Tananko)
Leading:
Krasnodar is a huge city with many schools, in which on this day all teachers celebrate their professional holiday - Teacher's Day. And among this multitude of schools there is one - ours. As a homeland - one, its own, unique for those who dedicated their lives to it, gave a lot of mental strength and health, for those who cannot imagine themselves in this world without it, for you, teachers! For you, the sun is dazzlingly shining on this day, and only for you bright autumn flowers open up, for you trees dress in gold and purple, and the world opens its eyes on this day just to look at you and admire you. And in this small hall with great love we perform a romantic dance exclusively for you!
The dance is performed
Who are they? - pupils. Who are we? - teachers. Without them, there is no point in us. They will not learn without us. So, we bring to your attention a play in three acts with a prologue and epilogue "Continuation of the conversation on the topic" we and them ".
It will talk about
What to be teachers
Perhaps honorable
But it's hard, just horror!
We will sing to you now,
And you decide for yourself -
Laugh, don't laugh
Or maybe cry, starring the most creative personalities of our school, whom you will certainly recognize at first sight.
Prologue
In the epicenter of spiritual darkness
Where cold hearts are countless
There is hope - THEY and WE,
So there is a chance to win!
So on these crazy days
You can give people warmth!
There are WE and THEY in the world,
So the world is lucky again!
And keeping the fire of the soul,
People will remain people again,
Because there are WE and THEY.
For each other - THEY and WE.
/ music sounds, the curtain rises. On the stage, the furnishings of the "Teacher's" /
Leading: We are the first!
Scene"Gatherings in the teacher's room"
/ three teachers are sitting at the table, going about their business:
the first checks the notebooks, the second - the physical education teacher - inflates the ball, the third is asleep /
Leading: Three teachers in the afternoon
They talked about their own.
First: / comes off from notebooks /
And we carry gas. This time!
We barely have enough money. It's two!
Look at the salary! That's three!
Second: So you carry gas?
First: Yes!
Second: And we have a water supply! Here!
Third: And from our window
A pile of rubbish is visible.
Second: Yes from our window
It is also visible, but a little.
First: I cooked dinner yesterday.
She threw it into the soup, everything that was!
It turned out at least where -
Salt, lavrushka and water!
Second: Listen, you're living great!
Eat hearty and drink sweet!
First: Oh, I don't know, girls,
How can I live with such a salary?
Out of grief, I will go out into the yard.
Sharpen the ax, / swings /
And ... I'll try in the morning
Cook soup from an ax!
Second: / refers to the third /
What, my dear, are you silent?
Are you quietly sitting alone?
Third: Oh, girls, I am silent.
Because I want to sleep. / Yawns /
Second: Where have you been all night?
Why haven't you slept?
Third: That's just the point, girls, and the point is -
I sat at the table all night.
Second: Have you met the guests?
Third: No! I checked the dictations!
First: Do you have any work for the top five?
Third: God is with you! What you! What you!
If you want, here, look!
First: / watching dictations /
As usual "two", yes "three".
Second: Well, of course, well, of course!
They don't have time to study now!
First: Do not ask them at home,
Second: Serve the disco!
Third: What are we to do, sisters?
To teach them to learn!
That would be beauty!
Second: This is a dream girls!
First: What to do?
Third: Just live.
Love them as they are.
Well, okay, I have to go!
I go to 9 "A".
Second: Wish me luck!
I'm leaving at 5 "D"! / puts on leather gloves and helmet /
First: Well, I'll be left alone!
I already have two "windows"! / offers a second boxing gloves /
Do you want, on, put on mine!
Not an easy day ahead!
/ Both teachers leave, remains alone and continues to check notebooks. The wings move slightly, so that the teacher checking the notebooks is in the center of the stage /
Leading: And now - THEY!
Musical scene "My dear teacher"
/ the student plays a song to the tune "Accountant" from the repertoire of the group "Combination" /
I go to my home school again to study
In a short skirt and a leather coat,
After all, I'm an ordinary girl - a student,
Although in appearance you can’t tell for anything!
Towards me in your dimensionless blouse
There is a teacher, and there is a mute sadness in his eyes!
With his salary, he didn't become a millionaire!
He is a simple teacher. Well, let it be!
CHORUS: Teacher, my dear teacher.
Here he is! So simple!
Teacher, my dear teacher.
Long forgotten about fatigue and peace!
Teacher, my dear teacher!
Here he is! So simple!
Teacher, my dear teacher!
But you are the dearest!
Miley in the staff room knows no place in life!
Lay out stacks of notebooks on the table!
Eat candy, throw on jacket to keep warm.
And he will think only, only about me.
His working day has long been over.
But he is in no hurry to leave school!
And every day, and every hour, and day and night
The teacher's soul hurts for us!
/ The curtain falls /
Act I. "Basic Instinct"
Dossier / Reads to music from the movie "17 Moments of Spring" /
Little Johnny Bublikov. Pupil 7 "A" class. The true oryets from the owl "yell". a brief description of: bully, truant, poor student. Always punctual. She is strictly 15 minutes late for each lesson! He is noticed daily and hourly in connections that discredit him! For appropriate behavior he has awards - a bruise under the left eye of the II degree and a lump on the top of the head of the I degree. Late for the lesson, as usual, for 15 minutes, Little Johnny Bublikov slowly walked along the corridor, pondering a plan of further actions, until a strange, painfully familiar smell attracted his attention. Little Johnny boldly went to the smell!
/ the curtain opens. On the stage is the interior of the school canteen.
On one of the tables is a bun wrapped in shiny wrapping paper. The student sings a song, playing with it. /
The song "Oh, what a bun"
/ to the tune "Oh, what a woman" from the repertoire of the group "Freestyle" /
In the school's little buffet.
The sweetest in the whole world.
The pier of the strolling poor fellow.
And on the table opposite
You lie shimmering
In wrapping paper.
What happened to me suddenly?
The bag fell out of hand
An empty head spun.
I would like this!
I don't see anything around.
I'm moving closer to her,
Smelling a sweet smell.
The scent beckons her so
And my brains are foggy.
Oh, how sweetly I am drowning in him!
How close we are, here we are!
From table to table
I will only lend a hand! ..
Oh, what a bun, what a bun!
I would like this!
/ another student comes out with a cup of tea, approaches the bun, unfolds it and starts eating, teasing Vovochka Bublikov /
Eat another you, I know!
After all, he bought you for tea.
And only silently will I swallow saliva!
Burns in the chest stronger than fire -
You are not mine, you are not mine!
So why do I want you?
Where can I find the strength
Stand up calmly and leave
And forget your empty dream? ..
Oh, what a bun, what a bun!
I would like this!
Immersed in his sweet dreams, Little Johnny Bublikov did not notice how time flew by.
/ The bell rings /"Call!" - Little Johnny thought and slowly walked to the class!
/ the curtain falls /
Action II. "Where we are not",
or "The Tale of Vovochkin's Class"
Leading:
Where we are not with you at this minute
Just because we're here
For some reason, it is always better ...
I just ask you to consider
That in those places where we are not, by the way,
It's also not sweet now ...
"Where we are not." Well, if it's shorter -
"The Tale of Vovochkin's Class".
/ The curtain rises. On stage interior classroom... Two desks: on the back one is Little Johnny Bublikov, on the first one there are two students - Petrov and Sidorov. Petrov is a terrible bully, Sidorov is a lazy person and a sleepyhead. Sidorov snores, lying on the desk. Petrov is strongly indignant at this. The teacher at the table reads something monotonously /
Scene I
"I will kill you, Sidorov"
/ A student playing the role of Petrov plays a song to the tune "I will kill you, boatman" from the repertoire of Professor Lebedinsky /
Petrov:Our backward class is dormant.
The poor teacher reads wearily.
We are sitting in the classroom. And the topic is about AIDS.
And on the left, Seryoga snores loudly.
And then I pushed him by the shoulder and quietly said:
“I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov! "
Teacher:Petrov, can you quieter, please?/ continues to read /
Petrov:Why didn't you drop a drop in your nose?
And he kept snoring and smiling like that!
I look at the "alarm clock". Call soon!
I'm new topic not cut at all.
And then I grabbed him by the chest and shouted:
“I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov! "
Teacher:Petrov, I asked you, be quiet!
Petrov:What are you, in nature! Just a little, so Petrov!
And he drinks, they say, and smokes, and beats the boys!
I didn’t come out tall, I’m not rich in intelligence!
I am a difficult teenager and I am glad about it!
Teacher:Petrov, I don’t understand what you can be happy about here?
Petrov:And the fact that everyone is afraid of me when I start yelling:
“I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov!
I will kill you, Sidorov! "
/ Petrov steps on the teacher, the teacher steps aside in fear. At this moment, the class includes the deputy director for educational work and a physics teacher /
Deputy directors: What's the matter, Petrov?
Petrov: Sorry, I got excited!
Deputy directors: Sit down, Petrov, and always remember that ...
/ deputy. director sings a song to the tune "I am a genius detective" from the cartoon "The Bremen Town Musicians" /
I am the deputy for education,
I don’t need any help!
Any test
I can stand alone!
More agile than a macaque
Hardier than the ox,
And a scent like a dog.
And an eye like an eagle!
I'm all bullies
They are afraid like fire!
And seeds in your pockets
You can't hide from me!
Stop any fights -
Usual things!
After all, a scent like a dog
And an eye like an eagle!
Command the parade
I love madly
And if necessary,
I'll stir everyone up!
And the bullies know -
I am strict, but not evil!
And a scent like a dog
And an eye like an eagle!
Deputy directors: Got it, Petrov?
Petrov: Clear! / bell rings /
Deputy directors: Everybody's Free. And you, Little Johnny, hold up!
/ Everyone leaves. Little Johnny and the physics teacher remain on the stage. They sit down at the first school desk and begin to perform experiments, pour liquid into test tubes /
Poor Little Vovochka was in trouble again, this time in the person of a physics teacher, who with amazing persistence tried to inject into Vovochka Bublikov's brain and fix in it forever the most complex information, to which Vovochka Bublikov did not resist at all, but simply nature took its toll, and Vovochka Bublikov's brain categorically rejected this most valuable information. Neither the teacher nor Vovochka Bublikov could fight this sad fact. Even the combined efforts of both sides did not help, and then the only thing was unanimously adopted. the right decision- follow the path of least resistance. And the movement began.
Scene II
Scene "Bye-bye, Vova!"
/ The physics teacher sings a song to the tune "Bai-by-bye, Dogi" from the repertoire of the cabaret duet "Academy" /
I sit with Vova on a new topic
And I pound him for two hours.
Both are tired, and Vova whimpers.
Don't whine, my Vova, or I'll kill you!
CHORUS: Bye-by-bye, Vova,
My main son!
In the lessons of Vova
Sleeps without hind legs!
At the desk, Vova sniffs so cool
And he smiles in a dream!
And Vova dreams of carrot juice
And two plates of Olivier.
Vova wakes up, looks stern
And to questions - no gu-gu, gu-gu-gu-gu!
Vova and I will start all over again tomorrow!
Oh no! I can not do it anymore!
CHORUS: Bye-by-bye, Vova,
My main son!
Fall asleep, Vova,
Sleep without hind legs!
/ lulls Vova and leaves on tiptoe. Vova sleeps on the desk /
The curtain falls
Act III
"If you want to be healthy"
Leading:Any teacher at work has a lot to do
But sometimes it happens that the teacher is ill! ..
The curtain rises.
/ There is a double interior on the stage: on one side of the stage - "Teacher's room", on the other side - a room in the teacher's house. Several teachers are sitting in the "Teachers' room", at home - one teacher in a dressing gown, with a lotion on her head, dials a phone number. The bell rings. The teacher in the "Teacher's Room" picks up the phone /
Scene I
"Well, how are things going with us?"
/ Teachers sing a songon the motive "Everything is good, beautiful marquise" from the cartoon "Old record" /
Sick teacher:Hello - hello, Oksana, dear!
Well, how are things going with us?
I'm calling you to tell you I'm dying
That I just went to bed!
And everything hurts. I do not sleep at night!
I have no urine to go to school!
School teacher:
All is well, excitement is in vain!
Get treatment, Lyudmila, don't get sick!
Everything is calm and beautiful here,
Except for the little things!
Your eagles broke the fence
And they fled from the owner!
For the rest, I assure you
Things are good! Things are good!
Sick teacher:
Oh my goodness! Don't hide it!
Let it be hard!
I beg you, tell me for god's sake
What else happened there!
School teacher:
Your eagles broke the window
The floors were not washed by the attendants!
Such bad deeds:
Two tables have been stolen from you!
And someone took the chairs away,
Nochevkin got a deuce,
And Shestakov broke the lesson,
And Ivanov broke the flower,
Running out of the classroom
And then he twisted his leg!
Sidorov beat the girls,
But soon I got back,
Vasiliev pushed the girls,
And the tablet fell from the wall,
And then the director walked by
And she brought everyone into the office,
And smashed them to smithereens!
And in the rest of our business
It's okay, Lyudmila, don't worry!
All is well, all is well!
/ the sick teacher faints, then rises abruptly and shouts: "Girls, I'm on my way!" - runs away from the stage, then appears in the "Teacher's Room" /
Leading:
Yes, it happens that sometimes
We can’t be sick.
And it also happens ...
We invite you to take a look.
Scene II
"Who is to blame", or "What to do?"
/ a physical education teacher runs into the "Teacher's room" with tears in his eyes. In the hands - a ball, on the neck - a whistle /
Physics teacher:No, this is a uniform, or rather a formless disgrace!
Teachers:Why is it formless?
Physics teacher:Because everything is without a form! How can! Are these children? No-no! These are not children!
Teachers:Vera, dear, calm down! Never mind! Do not get upset about the little things!
Physics teacher: Brought !!!
/ teachers perform a song to the tune "Duet of the King and Princess" muses. G. Gladkova
from the cartoon "The Bremen Town Musicians" /
Teachers:
Oh you, my poor gymnast!
Well, look how emaciated the little figure is!
I will take care of you!
Physics teacher:I do not want anything!
Teachers:
Calm down, this is a common thing!
Here, drink some coffee from a foreigner!
Do you want me to teach them all a lesson tomorrow?
Physics teacher:I do not want anything!
Teachers:
You are in a nasty mood!
Do you want to buy sports equipment?
If you want - tennis, if you want - everyone has a ball!
Physics teacher:I do not want anything!
/ All teachers leave the stage, calming the PE teacher. At this time, the "Song of the Courtiers" ("What are the children today, right") sounds. G. Gladkov, lyrics Yu. Entina from the cartoon "The Bremen Town Musicians" /
The curtain falls
Epilogue
Leading:
Well, it's time to get back to the topic again.
Everything is clear: here we are, here they are!
The holiday will end, it will begin again
Endless weekdays.
And in the battle for the souls of children
We are not alone in the ranks today.
Having everything: eyes, mouth and ears -
We often think - who are THEY?
And THEY are with the care of the beast
Watching us - who are WE?
Like WE, believing to the last,
That there will be no winter between us.
Like two parts of one body
We cannot live without each other!
And the case will end with success,
If WE and THEY are at the same time!
Leading: So, in conclusion, once again - WE!
/ All the teachers who took part in the performance go on stage /
First teacher:
That's all. And the song is sung.
There is nothing more to watch.
Finally, three verses
It remains for us to sing.
Second teacher:
And in the final of the performance,
So to speak, "on the road",
Most important, no doubt about it.
Final rhyme.
Third teacher:
Ah, school, dear school!
Problems, difficulties, mistakes ...
Our profession is such -
Trade sadness for smiles!
Fourth teacher:
This is our profession!
And nowhere to go!
It plays in the teacher's soul
Childhood sings and rejoices!
Fifth teacher:
It does not leave her
And does not allow to grow old to death.
This is our profession!
Take our word for it.
/ All together perform a song to the motive "Uzelka" from the repertoire of A. Apina /
We fell in love with the school and guessed it!
And they have always dreamed of being teachers!
We blinded our kids by ourselves.
Well, what happened, then we fell in love!
The knot will be tied, the knot will be untied
If it is difficult for us at times - it only seems!
Everything we have tied into tight knots!
I have problems, you have others!
But there are no such problems that they cannot be solved!
If only we remain faithful to the profession!
This is our life - students and school!
It's our role to be fun all the time!
We are the teachers of Russia!
Thanks! Interesting, fun and easy! I began to understand what it means "to create means to facilitate thought!" Creative success!
Thank you very much for your creativity !!!
Interesting and funny scenes for schoolchildren. Scenes about school and about teachers.
Scene for schoolchildren.
DEAR TEACHERS!
(A play from school life)
Characters:
Morkovkin,
Senkiya,
Lastochkin.
Part 1
Leading(from students): Dear audience! I propose to declare our paramount solemn meeting open! Today there is one problem on the agenda: to decide what to do next with the school.
Students(from the seat): Right! How much can you endure!
Leading: Because we do not observe the main law of school life - "Learning should be fun!" The floor for the report is given to the main truant of the class Zaitsev.
Zaitsev: Why am I skipping? Because my body requires sleep. Moreover, in a comfortable environment. I don't get enough sleep on my desk. And then, there are such indelicate teachers who wake up at the most inopportune moment. I personally think this is a disgrace!
Lisitsyn(from the seat): Don't wake you up, so you fall on your neighbors! On the contrary, I think the main problem is that the lesson is too boring! There should be loud music, a disco there, something like that!
Leading: I ask you to follow the rules! And you, Lisitsyn, do not stick your head out until you have been given the floor. Go on, Zaitsev. What are your constructive suggestions?
Zaitsev: I have such constructive suggestions. Since we are forced to go to this school, we must create human conditions. At least clamshells, or something, put! And, please, protect from any Lisitsyns. Let them study in the other wing, since they need music and rumble! Personally, I don't need it.
Leading: So you are for separate training? There is a grain of reason in this. Secretary, write it down: clamshells and split tuition. Who wants to add on the merits? Morkovkin!
Morkovkin: I personally do not like the fact that our health suffers at school. Do you know the statistics? Continuous scoliosis and gastritis. Lisitsyn is right - if not dancing, they would have made a pool in the assembly hall, or something. And we need a normal human restaurant with normal healthy food so as not to ruin our stomachs here. Kebabs there, ice cream. Chebureks. The list can then be compiled.
Leading: I think no one has any objections. (Turns to the secretary.) Write down: a restaurant instead of a canteen, a pool instead of an assembly hall. I would add a tennis table to each class. Who is next?
Raccoons: We are not talking about that. After all, these are all peripherals. We come to school and sit in it for the best 11 years of our life, and for what? What are we being taught? Dear brothers! I look sadly at the current education system. She is terribly far from the people. Therefore: attention! The school urgently needs to open additional courses in extremely important disciplines. They will study the things that are really necessary for the survival of the student. For example: The best way cheating, the best way to distract the teacher in the lesson, how to promote parents for money, how to reduce the school load to a minimum, how to spend school time pleasantly and profitably.
Leading: Personally, I respect Enotov because he knows how to think not only constructively, but also within the framework of reality. Since we will be forced to serve this term anyway, we must spend it with minimal losses. Secretary, please write down Enotov's speech almost word for word! I invite everyone present to think at their leisure what disciplines we really need. So. Next question. What should we do with teachers? Goshkin will make a presentation.
Goshkin: I really watched here, but they, in kind, are generally morose. They call it all sorts of rubbish, my dad ate half a pack of analgin yesterday after he tried to solve my math problems. His mother then knocked down the pressure. And they are yelling! Why yell? Well, I blurted out yesterday that Vilnius is a kangaroo breed, so what, who feels bad from this? I suggest that everyone who yells and asks to be kicked out of school.
Koshkin: And who will be left? You, Goshkin, are wrong in principle. It is necessary to work with the material that is. Do not drive out, but reeducate!
Senkina: And I feel sorry for them! We must endure too! You, Koshkin, especially! Who threw a cockroach into my compote yesterday in the dining room? To re-educate and re-educate you yourself!
Goshkin: Ha! It's a pity! Take pity on yourself! They are generally our class enemies, one might say!
Leading: Let's go without class segregation, please. Go on, Senkina.
Senkina: No, really, just think. By 8 am every day. Especially you will not skip, because adults have even stricter troubles on this score. We tolerate them one at a time, they put up with thirty of us at once. Imagine, Goshkin, that you would have to communicate with thirty teachers for 45 minutes! Horror! Here only from Redkin and Fedkin you can go crazy - not only yell, but you will also start biting! This is any of us, just about, they are over the head with a portfolio - and you can relax for fifteen minutes. And teachers are prohibited from such methods.
Koshkin: And my father says that everyone chooses their own destiny. Nobody forced them into school. Unlike us, by the way. Since they have come, let them endure.
Senkina: Good reasoning for you! And she, perhaps, was a snotty girl when her parents persuaded to go to ped. Do you know what kind of ancestors are ?! You can't really argue. And now the old one is to learn in a new way, but she can’t do anything else. Your mother over there works as a cleaner, has she dreamed about it all her life?
Koshkin: And where will she go with three children? She might have gone to study, but who will support her?
Senkina: So are the teachers. They got into a mess once, and now they endure with their last bit of strength. And we, in turn, must show humanity and not get angry, like you, Goshkin, but find ways to improve relations and influence gently, delicately.
Leading: Okay, Senkina, everyone understands. You are smart, in short, your task is to organize classes to study teachers and to correct their behavioral stereotypes.
Lastochkina: Or maybe we should arrange a vacation for them? Let them rest a little, at the same time they will grow kinder.
Leading: They would be glad, but who will let them? They have the same attendance, program.
Lastochkina: Why can't we teach ourselves a lesson? Let them slowly wander to school, sit on the back desk, and we will all scold what is supposed to be there. And let them relax for at least a week or two. And it really hurts to look at some of them - they are so twitched, crying in a madhouse.
Leading: Personally, I don't mind. Who agrees? We write it down. How will we present it to them?
Senkina: Yes, let's think of something!
Leading: OK. I think we have had a good meeting today. Will be working.
Everyone leaves.
Part 2
There are two on the stage - the Host and Senkina.
Leading: Dear teachers! We are awfully happy to congratulate you on the upcoming Teacher's Day! On this solemn day, we want to tell you how dearly we love you and how grateful you are for everything you do for us.
Senkina: Dear teachers! We know how tired you are at your hard work. Therefore, we have prepared a surprise for you. We are in a hurry to please you! For the next two weeks, you do not need to prepare for the lessons! Because we will lead them for you ... we! And you will quietly and calmly rest on the back desks. Like your laziest students.
Leading: And we promise not to shame you, not to call your parents to school.
Senkina: Don't clutter your heads with overwhelming tasks.
Leading: Don't find fault with your appearance.
Senkina: You may even be late!
Leading: And skip classes!
Senkina: No, we, of course, will try to make it interesting for you in our classes. But we will not slavery!
Leading: And we also wish you all:
Everything(in turn):
- Happiness!
- Health!
- Energy!
- Courage!
- Have a good mood!
- Able pupils!
- Responsible parents!
- Loyal administration!
- Optimism!
- And a big salary!
Everything(in chorus): Happy Holidays!
Boys in fluffy skirts come out, dance the cancan and sing a comic song to a melody from an operetta.
You can't live without a school, no.
In her the happiness of life,
In her fate is the dawn.
Teachers teach us here
Me, you, you, me.
We are connected with them by one destiny.
Since childhood, we come here with you,
School has replaced our home
We go here every day.
We congratulate you on this holiday,
With all my heart and soul now
We will both play and sing
How fun we live.
We will both play and sing
About how fun, how happily we live.
Scene for schoolchildren
RING SHOW THEATER
There are two teams on the stage. In front of one is a sign on which “Parents” is written in large letters, in front of the other - “Teachers”.
Leading: Attention attention! Our microphone is installed at the parent meeting N-th school... A team of teachers versus a team of parents. Who will win? So, dear fans, who are we rooting for? Yes, my parents, but I feel sorry for the teachers too ... So, let's start!
1st teacher: Dear comrades parents! We have invited you today in order to report on new outrages perpetrated by your children.
1st parent: Dear fellow teachers! Our houses stand next to your school, and we see with our own eyes what your students allow themselves.
2nd teacher: Your children.
2nd parent: Your students.
3rd teacher: I wonder who brings the frogs from the house and makes them croak in the classroom?
3rd parent: And who makes children saw the legs of chairs at home, allegedly doing their homework at work?
4th teacher: But what if you do all your homework for your children?
4th parent: You ask stupid tasks and want your kids to get smarter!
5th teacher: Aha, but how wise you are! And who gives out prizes to children for a good mark? I wonder just how many of our fives are enough for your pay?
5th parent: And our calculations with children do not concern you.
6th teacher: Have you seen what your children did to the walls of the school?
6th parent: And who taught them to write?
7th teacher: And sloppy!
7th parent: Look at your school! And in general, it is high time to organize a parking lot. And then you come for the child, there is nowhere to park the car.
8th teacher: Just about, it would not hurt for a long time to help the school in the improvement of the territory.
8th parent: Your students ...
9th teacher: Your children!
Leading: Stop, draw, the question remains open.
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