Be the woman of your dreams! Knowledge about yourself

You deny yourself sweets, spend half your salary on miracle wrinkle creams and read Nietzsche instead of Marinina, and not at all because you like it. You just want to be His ideal. Will he appreciate it? Be yourself, and you will become the most-most for him!

A month ago, after reading in some Internet survey that 70% of men prefer women with a large bust, my friend had plastic surgery for breast augmentation. To be honest, with her fragile low figure, breasts of the 4th size are unnatural. And yesterday, in another poll, Lena read that more than half of men still love small breasts. And she cried at my house all night. I didn't know how to help her.

Have you ever thought about how much we do for men? We dye our hair, although we know that it hopelessly spoils them. We wear stilettos, despite the fact that sneakers are more comfortable, faster and more practical. Wincing in pain, we pluck our eyebrows, even if it is unnatural. And we also read all his horoscopes to find out what kind of women he still likes. And they are ready to work on themselves for days, just to get rid of all real and imaginary shortcomings and become like his ideal.
Is it necessary to be so persistent? Here are some real life examples.

I love carrots, but I eat cabbage

One of my acquaintances always admired long-legged beauties from the covers of glossy magazines and declared that he would marry only such a cat. He was fed up with all the requests to introduce him to a real model. He was introduced, and not with one. But as a result, he married a short plump girl Dasha, who has a very distant relation to the modeling business - she works as a music teacher in a kindergarten. I must say that the guy is quite happy, although he continues to read men's magazines with pleasure and look at photographs of models.
The other guy yelled that he hated bitches. “A girl should be modest, quiet, shy,” he liked to teach me from time to time. Only now, as far as I know him, all Mishka's girls turned out to be, to put it mildly, with pepper. The latter, Natasha, kicked him out of her own apartment after some trifling quarrel - and Mishka lived with a friend for three days, constantly called Natasha, asked for forgiveness and swore eternal love.

And I also know a man who claims to hate it when a woman dyes her hair and smokes. His girlfriend, a smoking, dyed blonde, only smiles condescendingly when she hears this.
Conclusion: there is no point in remaking yourself for the sake of the stronger sex. Men like not blondes and not brunettes, not skinny and not plump women, not bitches and not prudes, but those women who love themselves. Everything else doesn't matter. Therefore, today your main task is to love yourself for who you are. Almost like in the popular song of Mogilevskaya. How to do it? Read on!

All for the sake of ... yourself!

You can, of course, use the wise recipe of the heroine of the film “The Most Charming and Attractive” and, standing by the mirror, repeat the magic phrase several times a day. But how can you believe that you are a queen if your nose is like a potato, your legs are far from your neck, and your ears are upright? How can you consider yourself successful if you were fired from your job, you have been studying English for 15 years, but you can’t learn it, and at your 30s you still live in a rented apartment? No problem, psychologists say! It's all in the head!
First of all, this head needs to be… washed.

Yes, yes, you heard right - wash so often that the hair does not seem unkempt. And you need to go to the beautician, and do a manicure, and exercise too - not for men, but exclusively for yourself. To feel confident. If you have a problem (or it seems to you that you have one), take some real steps towards solving it - and this will provide you with half the success, scientific minds say. You do not like your hair - consult with the master, which care system is better to choose. The shape of the nose does not satisfy - master makeup, which will visually reduce it. Dissatisfied with the figure - start running in the morning. Yes, you will not lose 10 kg. And the shape of the nose from makeup will not change. But the feeling that you are working on yourself will double your self-esteem!

How good am I?

The next step on the path to confidence is an exercise code-named “What a good fellow I am!”. Write down on paper what is good about you. Write about how smart, kind, funny, pretty you are, and you cook delicious borsch, and you know how to roller-skate, and you read everything Murakami, and you sing beautifully ... Did you finish school with a gold medal? Yes, you're just an intellectual monster! Do you pull up on the bar 5 times? Sportswoman! Mention all your positive traits, all your achievements. And now - repeat: "What a clever girl I am (and then list all the advantages on the list), how much I have achieved (read out your successes)." This is not a joke or banter, but a very useful mini-training. You will see how much better you will become after such a lesson in self-love! And if someone criticizes you, or you begin to envy someone quietly, or feel sorry for yourself, remember the wonderful list. Don't worry about the shortcomings. Everyone has them, and why focus on them?

This wonderful Aelita

Another useful exercise is “Draw yourself”. No, you don't need pencils - you just need to imagine your ideal image in all its details. To see yourself the way you would like to be - slim, confident, smiling, etc. This girl, which you draw in your thoughts, will become your second self - come up with some unusual name for her, for example, Aelita. Imagine what she is wearing, how she walks, how she talks, why others admire her. Do you like her? So, she is you!

When you walk down the street, chatting with colleagues or meeting a man, think that you are not an ordinary girl Masha, Sveta or Olya, but a beautiful and clever Aelita. By identifying yourself with this ideal image, at some point you will find that you behave in the same relaxed and natural way as Aelita.

I know how to present myself!

Want some more tricks? A confident woman is easy to distinguish from any other because she walks with her shoulders squared and her chest held high (no matter what size) - because she is doing great. When talking, she always smiles - she is pleased to see the interlocutor. If she didn’t hear her last name or forgot her first name, then she doesn’t hesitate to ask again - there is nothing shameful in this. Just as he is not afraid to express his point of view - even if it does not coincide with the opinions of others. “You are probably right about something, but I think otherwise,” she says with a smile if she disagrees with someone.
A self-confident woman devours a meat chop with appetite and does not deny herself a glass of wine with a chocolate candy - she knows how to enjoy life, and men really like it. In bed, such a lady is absolutely relaxed, regardless of whether she weighs 45 kg or 78, because her body is great, and she knows it. A dream woman is not shy about her weaknesses, but easily turns them into strengths. In any situation, she behaves completely naturally. Maybe that's why she has so many fans.

Do you still doubt the correctness of this approach? Once upon a time, for the sake of laughter, a lady gave an ad in the newspaper with approximately the following content: “A 40-year-old woman with a difficult character who loves to eat, drinks beer, smokes and sometimes swears obscenely, is looking for a life partner.” She was sure that she would not receive a single letter in response. She received over a thousand letters! And from men of all ages - from 27 to 70! Each of them assured that she fully corresponds to his ideal, and he was looking for just such a girlfriend all his life. “I just wrote the truth about myself,” this lady told reporters. It's good to be yourself sometimes!

Natalia Kolchanova, consultant psychologist

Down with perfectionism!

Perfectionists are advocates of perfection. It would seem that what is wrong with the bright desire to become the best in everything? The fact is that behind the insatiable desire to be impeccable lies a deep sense of dissatisfaction, fear, which can be dressed in various clothes. For example, the fear that others will not accept you as you really are, the fear that you will be helpless in the face of circumstances, you will receive a disapproving assessment of your loved ones, you will not be able to arouse love in someone ... But how to get rid of an obsessive desire achieve perfection in everything? To begin with, it is important to recognize that you are not alien to the complex of perfectionism.

Try to recognize the forms of its manifestation, which are quite diverse: from an insatiable desire to do everything in the best way to the demand for perfection from others. Learn to ask yourself questions every time you try to reach the top in something. For example, why is it so important for me to do my best? How will I feel if he doesn't like what I did? What drives me when I want to become Perfection for him? You need to learn to forgive yourself for small flaws, not to be afraid of your own weaknesses. Such a close understanding is necessary in order to understand your true desires behind perfectionism and, most importantly, to learn how to realize them in a mature way. In this way, you can transform perfectionism into a healthy desire for development and self-improvement.

Pages of women's secrets

So what does it turn out, it is unrealistic to become a dream woman? Not certainly in that way.

The fact is that all this variety of male wishes, what a dream woman should be, often comes down to two simple things:

A man should be comfortable living with a woman under the same roof.

A man should be pleased (not ashamed) to go out with a woman in public.

There is a third point, but more on that later.

A man can say that the woman of his dreams must certainly cook borscht well, but believe me, no borscht will save a relationship if a woman nags a man every night about scattered socks, an improperly hung towel, or a mug that has not been washed after her. Because, despite the delicious borscht, living with such a woman is uncomfortable for a man.

Or here's another example. Let's say a man dreams of a long-legged model, but everyone eventually gets used to the appearance of a partner. In a couple of years, for him, her long legs will become as familiar as brushing his teeth in the morning. And if a woman, apart from long legs, has no other virtues, then life together with her will be more boring than books from the school curriculum.

However, if you think that it is enough just to become what a man needs, you are mistaken. You will adapt to his needs - you will not become a dream woman, but simply comfortable, like a sofa. And do not fall in love with sofas. And here we come to the third point, which is important to observe so that men dream of you:

A man should appreciate a woman, and not take her for granted.

So what do you do to appreciate it?

Be a person

If you, like a trained dog, follow all the commands of a man, then he will never be able to see a person in you, which means he will not appreciate it. For nothing. No one will appreciate and respect a person only for the obedient offering of dinner and washing things. You must have a character that is important to show at the initial stage of dating. A normal man needs a comrade-in-arms, an ally, a partner, but not a servant, even if he earns ten times more than you.

Don't Forget About Life Outside Your Relationship

There is no need to abandon all affairs and plans, as soon as a decent man looms on the horizon. He will not appreciate and respect you if for his sake you abandon your friends, studies, work, relatives and rush to the ends of the world to him, as soon as an SMS from him lights up on the phone screen. A man falls in love with a woman in her absence, and not when she is constantly around.

Be a little unapproachable

Of course, you do not need to mock a man and make him crawl after you on his knees. Tea, not a princess. But let him feel at least a little like a real man, a hunter, a conqueror. Let his interest in you show up, don't jump on his neck on the second day of dating. A little trouble won't hurt him.

Look after yourself

This does not mean at all that you should always be at the parade and fully armed, but self-care should be an integral part of your life. Firstly, it’s better for you, and secondly, the man will see that you love yourself, take care of yourself, don’t spit on your appearance, which means that he will love you. I have said many times that if you do not care about yourself, then why should others appreciate you?

Don't be indifferent to his interests

No one forces you to go to football matches, but you can’t remain indifferent to his life either. If you don’t know what he does for a living, don’t know what he loves and what he can’t stand, if you are unable to support with a word in difficult times, then why does he need you at all?

Don't be a bore

You can be very smart and interesting in communication, but if you are a chronic bore, then no one will want a serious relationship with you. The bores are annoying. And if you also have a lame sense of humor, then that's it - you can put an end to yourself!

Build Your Confidence

Worthy men choose self-confident women, because it is boring to communicate with insecure women, it is impossible to fall in love with them, you can only feel sorry for them. And as a rule, unethical men stick to such women. Do you need unethical men? I doubt.

When a woman is as simple as a felt boot, she does not arouse interest. Well, or arouse interest in someone whose hobbies are limited to football on TV and beer on Fridays. If you have a busy life, work, hobby, then you will attract appropriate men. Those who want to become a part of this interesting life. Winning a simpleton is a simple matter, but getting an interesting woman is a completely different matter.

Women are really easy to please. Not expected? Personally, it often seems to me that everything is completely different and for this you need to try very hard, but in fact, women need a little. Like most men, I used to see women as beautiful exotic creatures who behave unpredictably and whose behavior cannot be analyzed from the point of view of logic known to me. If you do the most basic things, women like everything. Making a friend happy is easy. The method fits into five tips. Do it this way, and your girlfriend won't start looking for a replacement for you.

1. Clean up after yourself

Even if your girlfriend herself is not a fan of cleaning and other household bacchanalia, she will be completely delighted when she sees that your house is clean, the car is washed, there are no stains or streaks on your clothes, and your body does not smell good. about volume, but deodorant and shower gel. Pay special attention to the refrigerator, sink and bathroom. She notices these places first. Keeping clean is always useful, even if you don’t have a girlfriend at the moment, and if you really want to, then the importance of cleanliness can hardly be overestimated. A clean apartment increases the chance that a girl will want to check how clean your sheets are. When you are, the bar will have to be raised even higher. This means that you will have to constantly clean up something in the house, take out the trash, vacuum, etc. She will notice your efforts and will be incredibly happy.

2. Be proactive

If a woman must constantly direct your actions, always telling you what to do, and without her instructions you can’t cope with anything, this turns for her from a relationship between a man and a woman into raising a child or training a dog. But you're better... better than a dog? Moreover, very often you know that a certain thing needs to be done, but you delay the unpleasant moment of its implementation until the last moment, until she tells you, or even repeats it several times. Change your strategy. Nobody likes to be a bore, and if she has to tell you the same thing a hundred times, that's exactly how she feels. Do you want to avoid domestic quarrels? Do what she might ask you beforehand. You can even surprise her with pleasant little things for a change: give flowers, book a table at a restaurant she likes, cook a delicious dinner, buy tickets for a play she would like to see, etc.

3. Be careful

Attention, not silence - that's what gold is. Men, for the most part, continue to be big children and think about themselves around the clock, forgetting that they should pay attention to the person who makes them happy. If we do not pay attention to a woman, things become more and more difficult every day, and you will hear about these difficulties at the most inopportune time. For example, during a tense Euroleague match (did you see yesterday how insulting our Israeli team was?), when you are sick and cannot take your eyes off the game. If a woman is wound up, she does not care what is happening around her. She is only interested in one thing - the need to get rid of her emotional burden. Even if she knows you're an avid basketball fan, she still can't put this conversation off until later. In such situations, you better take your eyes off the game and join the discussion, otherwise things will only get worse.

4. Talk about your feelings

When things get tough in a relationship, guys tend to choose one of two strategies. First, they do something to fix the problem. Second, they leave. Maybe someone is doing something else, like choosing to ignore the problem, but the first two strategies are used about more demand. Solving relationship difficulties is not our forte. It’s easier for us to act than to discuss at what point and what went wrong, and that’s exactly what women need. You can work wonders if you listen to her words, get to the bottom of it and talk about how you feel in this situation - of course, choosing the right time for this. If desired, everything will work out.

5. Sex

Let's skip the details this time. Let's say in general terms: women like it when a man is inventive, romantic and aimed at satisfying his partner. It seems that everything is simple. Of course, there are many more ways to keep relationships on the right track, but the key points will always remain mutual love and respect. Men and women essentially want the same thing, they just express their desires differently. Probably, this is even good: if everyone were the same, it would not be so interesting.

Getting into a relationship is not the hardest part. Keeping them is much more difficult. There are several women's rules in order to keep your relationship with your loved one strong and turn you into the girl of your dreams. Let his friends envy, and the guy idolizes you.

So, how to become a dream girl?

Six simple rules

Learning to compromise

The name already speaks for itself. If you want to become the girl of your dreams, learn to compromise. Compromising doesn't mean being indulgent, it means being smarter and finding something in between that works for both of you. It's time to leave the youthful maximalism, if you really want to maintain a relationship with your loved one.

Your boyfriend is not a match

Many girls often try to compete with their boyfriends. And this is wrong. Even if you are better than your young man in some way, there is no need to focus on this. You can offend him, insult him, and your relationship will only escalate.

A man by nature is always a winner, and let him remain so, be smarter. You may be better than him on roller skates, but believe me, when he teaches you how to skate, you will get more pleasure than if you prove how cool you ride them.

We tell ourselves "Stop!"

All couples have fights. And sometimes they are useful if you quarrel in the right way. But how to maintain a relationship with a guy if you constantly quarrel? Even in a quarrel, you need to be able to control yourself.

The main thing is not to go beyond what is permitted, and tell yourself “Stop!” in time. Both sides need to be able to stop, not just you. Agree with your soul mate that there are limits that you don’t need to go beyond so as not to destroy everything that you have been building so hard.

Know how to listen

You need to be able to listen not only in relationships with your loved one, but also in everyday life. Now we are talking about maintaining a relationship with a young man, so get to the point. Agree, you are pleased when he listens to you talk about how the day went, how he saw a girl in exactly the same shoes as yours. It's important to you, but it's important to him that our team lost to the Brazilians today.

Don't be lazy, let him talk, listen to him. Yes, maybe you don’t understand football, but it’s quite possible to pretend that you are interested. After all, you love him, and for your beloved, an attentive girl who appreciates his hobbies is worth its weight in gold! And will not be superfluous.

Personal space

We all need to be alone sometimes. And your boyfriend is no exception.

Men tend to withdraw into themselves to think. Don't worry and don't make a scene about it. Remember, you can, and this is not always necessary.

Having considered everything, he himself will “come out” to you.

Be honest

No need to lie, even in small things. A small lie will lead to another, followed by a third, and so on. If you don't want to say something to him, just reformulate your sentence.

At first it will be difficult to fulfill all the points, but if you do everything right, over time you will be able to maintain a relationship with your loved one and really become a dream girl for any guy!

Dreams are different. Men have theirs, women have theirs. But there are situations when we women want to be a dream ourselves, His dream. Now, if you think about it, what does it mean to “become a dream girl”? After all, you can’t get into a man’s head and you won’t read his thoughts ... But you can try to find out based on the behavior of a man.

Many of the men believe that the ideal (and therefore the dream, because we often dream of the ideal) of a woman is the one who will always understand him and share his interests, who will always support him. Well, women also dream of such ideal men. But here, which may seem surprising, many men want to see an independent woman next to them, well, or one who has her own personal affairs and interests, and does not live only his life. Therefore, it is sometimes better for us girls to go to our friends and try to tell Him as little as possible about it (well, we must have at least some secret), no, this does not mean at all that one fine day you got together and silently left to friends, no, of course, you can tell your lover about this, but you shouldn’t spread it. But if a man has not yet become your one and only, then it is useful even to suddenly disappear. But just do not abuse it, because for a long time the disappearing prey loses interest in the hunter.

Of course, you can not keep silent about the appearance. I think men will agree that a woman should be at least neat. And if the look is also mysterious, then many are ready to rush to unravel this mystery. However, the mysterious look can be attributed to the features of the girl's sexuality. And the sexual representatives of the fair sex excite the minds of men, so if you add some sexuality to your appearance and lifestyle, then the chance to fall into the “dream” will greatly increase.

What else do men dream of? Well, of course, the dream girl of any man should deeply respect him. And this is true. After all, when violent passion and feelings subside, respect remains unchanged, well, or it only increases. Yes, we must not forget His friends. Men really appreciate when their women share communication with friends and do not interfere with it.

Becoming a good friend of His friend, or simply taking part (but not imposing and when they don’t mind) in their male communication is also a guarantee that in the mind of a man you are one step closer to the concept of “his dream girl”. And of course, love Him, tell him how beautiful, perfect and exceptional he is.

Men are like children, they should be praised, then they will have an incentive for further action. And you can become the girl of your dreams at any time. The main thing is that your man sees that you - so understanding, charming, sexy, smart, wise - want to be only with him and he is the best for you, then his dream will connect with your dream. And another happy union of a dream girl and a dream man will be born!