Scene for a teacher's day is funny from students. Merry scenes on teacher's day for primary classes on video. Action I. "Main Instinte"
(Song "Hello School" sounds on the motive of songs from M / F "Scarecrow-meadow".)
(2-3 grade)
Morning begins, begins,
Children wake up, wake up.
The shape of school was put on,
They all took briefcases with them
And with a fun smile
To school flew.
I will learn to count, I will multiply.
And I will also learn to share
School, hello!
The school is very cool, very cool.
We learn a lot of new, a lot of new things.
And we solved the tasks,
Writings wrote
In English, said
They sang and the poems were taught.
Once, two, sun, three, four, five!
Received five - you can play!
The lessons ended, you need to play.
Hello, childhood!
ONE DAY
From the life of the teacher
(4th grade)
1st student:
Morning. House. A family. Alarm clock.
The desired refrigerator.
A bag. Umbrella. Topot foot.
And the lesson started.
2nd student:
Cards. Globes. Advice.
Theorems and Answers.
Discussion. Outcome.
Unexpected call.
3rd student:
Competence. Program.
Urgently everything like a telegram.
Two. Nerves. Corvalol.
A student looking into the floor.
4th student:
Competition. Holiday. Soviet.
For parents collected.
Puzzled father.
An entertaining end.
5th student:
Points. Personality. Height. Problems.
Exercise. Method. Topics.
Here is a notebook, a bunch, mass.
Class social passport.
7th student:
Score. Price. Expenses.
Two weeks before salary.
Milk. Crup. Cheese.
Emitted wallet.
8th student:
Night. Floor lamp. Sofa. Textbook.
My husband is really sleeping, the child is dorm.
Pedsovets. Concert. Report.
Thesis. GEF. All! Outpad!
1st student:
We all love you very much
And we wish holidays!
Everything:
And on the teacher's day
Congratulations!
Scene (5,6,7 class)
Song Song sounds for the words M. Plyakovsky "What is taught at school." Three goes on the scene: a girl and two boys (horses).
1st boy.
Where are you going?
2nd boy.
- Yes, tired of school!
The lessons are stirred again.
Girl.
- That's about what we do there?
It's better to just take a walk.
The rest of the students are overlooking.
- Hi guys! What are sitting here?
Do you have a clock today?
1st boy.
- And we decided not to go to school.
Read, you can write - what else to learn?
Girl.
- I will not go to study anymore.
I'd rather work everything.
Pupils.
- And who are you going to become?
After all, to work, you need to know much.
2nd boy.
- And Che There know? My dad engineer in the office
Draws right on cardboard.
This work is good,
I do not need anything other than handle and pencil.
I will take and draw a house, Square ...
Good work - engineer!
1st boy.
- And I can be a doctor,
Cut something, Ile to sew.
Then everyone will give a bulletin, -
And that's all! Free all day!
Girl.
Pupils.
- Are you, laughing? To build a house
Will you no longer be a pen and pencil.
It is necessary to know the conversion, and that they put in concrete.
You won't know - and will collapse this house.
- And you want to be a doctor
Children and adults - all treated, -
You can't write medicine.
Having hurt, and you will not help.
- And who will give you a person to cut,
When you do not know, where your ear, and where is the eyelid.
- Well, what are you looking, huh?
Bad and your affairs.
About rings and seelings
You do not know and a little!
- Here will invite you to the podium in Paris,
And in French you do not speak.
- as a magazine, fashionable very,
Read you suddenly want?
Ah, girlfriend, sorry you
In the hands of you the letter.
- Yes, well, what to say there,
Here you do not need to be.
To the TV, you will come,
And in the program you will not find
The film that goes there.
And your number will not pass.
- see ... Buy you can't
Neither sweets nor chips pack
Neither cookies, marmalade,
Both "Phanto", and not a gum.
- Well, and if there is a banker
In mind you will make up?
Calculate you can not profit,
No, so, brothers, will not go.
- Cook you - imagine now.
You can quickly, without loss
Read the recipe, cook -
That's all the tasty should be.
- You will appear now another
Situation such:
That was buying a movie ticket.
Who to go - not anyway.
- Masha, you decided to call.
Write a note.
How do you write a letter?
How can you buy her flowers?
- Girls are not all the same.
And you will go alone in the movies.
- That's right, it is necessary to learn.
For the steel and award.
You know everything, you read everything,
All you need - you will find everything.
1st boy.
- Listen to you, so decide -
Go to school every day to walk.
2nd boy.
- Listen, cool, we are with you
Buy a bunch of "Sea battle".
1st boy.
- Yes! And we can find out everything
About linkers read ...
1st boy.
- And about the yacht, that, well, remember?!
On which you can not catch up ...
2nd boy.
- And about the boat, who has ...
(threesome)
- Yes, ah ... learn - just great !!!
Girl.
- Well, I can read
About hairstyles, shoes, paints ...
Yes, not to count.
Pupils.
- So what, did you convince you?
And comprehend everything at the right time,
You will help(all together) teacher!
Children sing the song "Congratulations" to the motive of the song V. Shainsky "What is taught at school."
______________________________________________
New Russian grandmas. (8 CL)
1. Head, dear!
2. I charged ..
1. Today today ...
2. Do you interrupt me! I was instructed ..
1. Today today ...
2. Do you interrupt me! I was instructed (a look at 1 grandmother) to hold ... (again a look).
1. Store today's concert ..
Pause
2. Why do you interfere with me?
1. When you do not know how to lead a concert. If, for example, now the singer will speak, how do you declare it?
2. I will say that it will speak ...
1. Say! .. People need to declare singing. (sings.) Now the singer will speak, she will sing ...
2. Haha ..! Interesting! And if acrobats will act, how will you declare them? Through the head? Kuwar?
1. And you will declare acrobats.
2. So, I will declare everything.
1. Why?
2. When you keep a concert, a modeled, decisive.
1. These are saying as if you are going, you do not have a concert, but a ship in a storm. Think Captain!
2. Capitan is a man! And I am a woman!
1.You-oh, keep me ... Woman ... You look at yourself, yes with you the sand ...
2.This you look scarecrow the garden ...
1.No, you will look at her klyachey old
(pushing each other)
2. Okay, enough, enough. People look at us.
1. Well, however, tea, we are completely squeezed old.
2. And now the song ...................
Song
In the eyes of your big - anxiety and sadness,
After all, paints for repairs are missing again.
You want to send everything to the lilac distance!
In the lilac distance - blotch and painting,
In a lilac fog - a water tap,
In a lilac fog - a window dressing.
And your vacation sailed into a lilac fog!
In Siren Dali - Canara and Hawaii.
Would leave for a year, and maybe two ...
Or maybe you want to go forever.
You dream, but you will go there barely!
Lilac fog over our school melts,
The director sits in it, and it is not easy for him
He is in no hurry home, the director understands:
Questions to solve everything yourself!
2. Mature, looked, and you have the whole back white.
1. Where (looks back)
(2nd laughs)
2. I joked.
1. Toffee! You have all hee chi, and ha ha.
2. Today and so need to laugh, respected to cheer. And then they laugh 1 time per year.
1. And why 1?
2. On July 1, when they go on vacation.
1. Let us tell the anecdotes.
2. I first.
1.Valy.
2. Vovochka got a two physical education.
Father asks:
Why did the teacher put a twice?
"And he asked to put the goat with mats."
Well, I posted ...
1. Now I ..
The teacher says to schoolboy:
Tomorrow, let him come to school your grandfather!
Do you want to say - Father?
No, grandfather. I want to show him what mistakes makes his son in homework.
2. You would only invite grandparents ...
1.This anecdote such (offended)
2. Family, okay declare a music number
1. (sings) I'll sleep ...
2.Dow you will not be able to sing, but guys.
Musical number
All students are built on stage and sing on the motive of the song "Smile" from the movie "Carnival Night")
If you sometimes be sad and sad,
If there is someone in the lessons
It is not on purpose and not specifically
Just in us the energy is boil.
So let's all the excitement
We are forbid at this hour.
And good mood
Does not leave you anymore.
If there are poorly responsible in the lessons,
If you forget the formulas to learn,
We, because you also get merit,
But we can hide a grief.
grandmas
2. Food somehow in a minibus, I read the inscription "Who slaughters the door, will become a beneficiary !!!"
1. Laughing over old and sick ..
Listen to the fairy tale:
And for the third time an old man came to the Blue Sea, and was mad at him gold fish And gave him the address of Raskolnikova ...
2. (Dreamy)
And the sun shines brightly, and a scenery is good when the C2H5on is splashing in the stomach (C 2 Ash 5 Oasha)
1. Which, what a flower was squeezed, you are in school.
grandmas
1. Color, and let's talk about love.
2. How do you love in your years.
1. I will dream - then you can ...
2. Now you will see about love with your own eyes, as Othello loves Dzentemon
Scene Othello and Dzentameron
Othello (4 CL)
(rushes to her)
Steps I hear. Finally at home
My wife. And cook me lunch.
I'm hungry damn, desideon!
Dzememon.
Othelllo, I have no dinner.
Othello
Me, right, no up to joke, dear,
Our refrigerator is empty long ago!
I'm just dying from hunger ...
Dzememon.
But I worked, and not in the movie!
Othello
What in your bag? Again notebooks!
Did you bring home?! About grief to me!
Dzememon.
With your nerves, I look, not all right,
You even cried more than once in a dream.
(Soots check notebooks.)
Othello
Listen, Dzentameon, in fact
Not bad to eat now!
Dzememon.
Othello! We already ate today!
And even harmful is in such a late hour.
But if you really want, you can, cute,
Fried scrambled eggs, only himself.
Do not distract me, I ask you, love!
There are three eggs left, they are enough for us.
Othello
What are three? Two yesterday I yesterday.
Dzememon.
Oh well. The fear of myself one.
Othello
But the refrigerator is empty!
Dzememon.
Well, I do not know where it could disappear suddenly it?!
Othello
Listen, there is a job,
But I will neutay from hunger on my mind!
Dzememon.
Ah, cute, well, come up, right, something ...
Take the lessons! And hunger will disappear.
Othello
Naked my hunger. Really
So hard to go to the store?
Dzememon.
I thought I would come at the end of the week,
But you myself could buy something!
You interfere with me, cute. By the way,
So little time remained, dear!
I will duty at school I'm up to the night:
On the disco class walks mine.
Othello
What disco?! What a joke?
That's the family collapsed with us!
Dzememon.
Ah, you know, there is no moment left,
There is waiting for me already, go, my class.
Othello
Like the hell, you run out of the house.
You it is important to work, not a family.
Did you pray for the night, Dzatemon?
Umci, unhappy! Umci, my love!
__________________
(Grade 9)
Teacing is not a work, but renunciation,
The ability to give yourself to
Go for a long feat and torment
And in this see the light and grace.
Teacing - when in the eyes of cold
He will not understand understanding
And you will understand: I tried not fruitlessly
And knowledge scattered not in vain.
Colored rain bouquets
And illuminated with glitter hundreds of eyes
Accept, teacher, not words of receiving
And part of the soul from grateful us!
Song on the melody "Close circle" (end, sing everything)
1. That is one of those stories
About which we argue here
And no day nor two
And for many years.
School so lives difficult,
We ask here questions
And the teacher will give them an answer.
Why seeks to know
Graduate and first grader
Why rush to class like river.
As a teacher in class comes
And the lesson is spent with us,
Know we all probably
Chorus:
Get into a circle
Pupil, teacher, friend.
Shines in knowledge light windows,
Leaving the mark in the heart.
Let them go
School with us you always.
Before us one hundred roads
The school has grown apart.
2. Clean the life of the door
You, teacher, we all believe,
We believe in what awaits us ahead.
About you a lot of spito songs
Forget sadness, our circle is crazy,
And to the world of knowledge, we call us again.
Chorus.
3.If knowledge on the palm
Then in dreams you will not be drown
You are not lost for days.
We are you, teacher, remember
We go to life with knowledge
In us, the teacher raised people.
Your motif has every bird
Your motive has every song
There is also your motive and in school too.
All that is known is useful
You, teacher, you will dream
Devora All grateful to you.
Chorus.
_________
(1 class)
1. How the student without error,
Double? - What to say?
But still your smiles
We remember, and we will appreciate.
2. and every good word
Will remain in our hearts,
And we will bow ready
In fact, not in words.
3.We and our parents
Now we understand clear,
How difficult today teacher
Change with your task.
4
. Speaker - as if not fashionable.
Other professions do ...
Thank you for your noble
And selfless work!
"Golden Wedding" ("Cucushechka") (1,2,3 classes)
Holiday, holiday in school.
From the soul we congratulate you.
How nice to look at you.
And smiles are all for you.
Etc.
Ah, student yes with a teacher
Great in school lives!
Ah, student yes with a teacher
May the fate of us smile!
Ah, student yes with a teacher
So many years, so many years together.
Ah, a student yes with the teacher,
So that we live two hundred years!
This holiday is only once.
But always we love you very much.
To in life you and we are lucky
And for you we drink milk today!
Music number on the melody "What is autumn?" (Start, sing everything)
What is happening at school today?
We will answer the question directly:
This holiday is here with us,
Here we have
Teacher's Day, the very, most!
Chorus
Happy you are happy to see now
In this very inclusion hour.
Happiness, smiles, light, good
Wish you adults and defores.
Teacher working at school
The best teacher in the world
Because he is his big heart
Without a residue gives all children.
Chorus
1 grandma:
Let in this room, at this hour
Lights burn light!
And again we congratulate you, our teachers!
Our younger classes are ringing laughter - the best reward!
Kids congratulate you will be very happy.
Etc. (Repeat)
Performing a song on the motive "Forward, Marthemary"(parents)
By the will of Rock it happened,
Ile is a cross you like
And the school is given all the forces,
And lessons - as if in battle.
And at night the board you dream
And you have no other concerns,
As soon as tomorrow what happens,
And whether the class will understand?
Chorus
Do not hang nose, a cute teacher,
Is the life of il good?
One knock and soul,
One knock and soul.
Love for students is one!
Will be held years, shadow centuries
Disappeared, everything will be closed in a circle.
But the word is a warm "teacher"
We suddenly take a heart.
Always make you remember something
Native, close to you
In the twentieth century and in two hundred -
Teacher is eternal on earth!
Chorus
Do not hang nose, a cute teacher,
Is the life of il good?
One knock and soul,
One knock and soul.
Love for students is one!
|
2 -3 class |
|
"If the teacher disappears, what then will be in the world, friends? Rudeness, ignorance of the soul will emmer joy in life will not be. If the teachers disappear, there will be unfortunate and poor earth would you suggest such a thing? If the teachers disappear, who will tell us that the earth is eternal? Eternal land! So the teacher is eternal! Ile you, friends, do not want? No, let's not let such a happen to disappear the word "teacher"! Through a century through the century your profession is on the century! " Music number on the motive "Hope" (parents) 1. What happened here? You have not been looking for ways to easily. Mind and Heart, Soul and Heat Young genera gave out For the sake of the appointment of kindness Through all doubts and care High dreams carried away And knew joy and ups. CHORUS: You school call calls, The heart is still torn to her. And in the heart that young people, That your hope is called. Let the hopes come true with us Everywhere on Earth is such a share. Your ideals in life now The young tribe embodies Years of parting - not trouble, Memory by childhood path will pave sure. You for all teacher forever The most important, most, the very first. CHORUS. 2 grandmas Teacher's heart ... Well, what to compare it with? With cosmic galaxy, which no borders? Or maybe with the sun bright, what gives people the light? With the bunch of the naval, that sleeping hundreds of years? No, we will not compare! And let's say: "knocks! Teacher's heart - Nadya Believe Love! " |
According to the tradition that prevailed in each of the Russian schools, on the day of the teacher, all classes prepare their original performances. Long until October 5, a festive date, initial, middle and older classes prepare dancing and scenes on the day of the teacher. Funny, humorous speeches guys and this solemn day is interpreted by reading unusual school stories, stories about the lives of teachers of the team, personal congratulations of each of the teachers and the presentation of flowers and small, but always such pleasant gifts. Come up with or find on the net or book Scene for the day of the teacher ─ the decision of the individual, accepted by the Schoolchildren themselves. High school students, disciples of 10-11 skills, can prepare a dance or scene on the day of the teacher without the participation of teachers and parents. Primary classes necessarily help representatives of the parent team, senior comrades in school, teachers, leaders of music teams and a music teacher.
Funny humorous scenes for teacher's day - video
The most favorite scenes, long-awaited performances on the day of the teacher, are small humorous ideas. In ridiculous performances, children take part with a big hunt. In these mini-productions on the day of the teacher, negligent students are usually ridiculed, unnecessarily strict and picky teachers, formidable parents, school order, assessments system, exams ... In principle, all that somehow refers to the topic "School" may become a beautiful topic For improvised cheerful scene. Often the guys stage well-known literary works.
Funny Scene for Teacher's Day "Othello and Dzentameron", video
For example, two young actors participate in the scene on the day of the teacher "Othello and Dzentameron". Dzemameon ─ the school teacher absorbed completely with his work ─ absolutely does not understand the claims of her husband Othello. The same, reproaching a disordered wife in the absence of elementary food in the refrigerator, first gently she advises to buy something to eat, go to the store. Dzentameon's wife does not respond to claims; And, a hungry spouse, Holochlo is thrown into the wife of a teacher who is too busy with his students. For this formulation requires only two people, but they should be the most artistic guys.
Humorous scene for the day of the teacher "Choice of Profession", video
Participation in this scene, on the day of the teacher, can take several students. The specifics of the formulation such that the number of actors should not exceed 7-8 people: the guys are simply confused in words. Less than 4-5 participants, the number of actors will reduce interest in a funny production. Before the start of the speech, the guys are built in a row. The first of them begins to tell in verses or simply in their own words the advantages of the profession chosen by him. At the same time, he should actively gesticulate, depicting himself in the work on the selected specialty. The task of the next participant of the scene on the teacher's day is the same, but closer to the end of his performance, the first actor again begins to actively report all the advantages of his work. The third actor tells about his profession, showing the movements of himself in work. All spoke in front of him praise the merits of their activities. As a result, it turns out very funny, mesh, but excellent work.
Humorous Scene "Funny Double" for Teacher's Day, Video
To make this staging for the day of the teacher, preparation is required. The topic can be chosen any. The whole "salt" here ─ correctly selected dubbing of actors. Guys only depict situations from school Life, without forgetting it is ridiculous to gesticulate, articulate, behave as if they ourselves utter text. At this time, recording, cutting phrases from movies, cartoons, popular songs, poems. The guys get "other people's" voices, and in the end everything comes very funny!
Interesting scenes on teacher's day for high schools on video
Preparing scenes on the day of the teacher, the guys from senior classes can present fantasies from their future family life, Particular politicians, popular singers and artists. Schoolchildren can portray future life each of the class students. For example, an actor playing the role of a dudeller can show how in the future the Mount-student is arranged to work, becoming the same grief-employee. One day from the life of the school "botany" after the release to portray will also be fun and interesting. In a popular scene, the "control" can not even try to portray something. The situation when "hit" the test, and you do not know anything, known, every student. Most likely, the guys will know themselves and will change something in their lives in time, and they will help them do it, of course, teachers.
Music Scene for the Day of the teacher for senior classes
For the day of the teacher, high school students can prepare a musical scene. Excellent solution For a fun scene will be the female images to boys, and girls entrust male roles. On the day of performances in a musical scene, the actors do not utter words themselves. For this, there are cuts from songs with words corresponding to the playful situation. The main thing for the day of the teacher is emotional on the scene.
Scene-parody of the teacher's day for senior classes
Particular performances of popular artists are easy and fun. Picture on the "Clip" scene to the famous song is ridiculous for everyone, including for senior teachers. Teacher's Day ─ Happy holiday, Therefore, on this day, all the performances should be with a notch of humor, with an enthusiasts, jokes.
You can also bury the best performances on Eurovision!
Merry scenes on teacher's day for primary classes on video
Unlike high school students, schoolchildren in primary grades There are no need to memorize complex and long scenes. That is why students of grades 1-4 on the teacher's day is better to distribute small texts of short performances. Excellent idea It will prepare one big performance on the teacher's day, consisting of mini-sketches. Better, if it is anecdotal situations, parodies to school and parents, on their classmates.
Scene "Lesson for Parents" for the day of the teacher for junior classes
In this formulation, on the day of the teacher's student primary classes Place the scene from the life of parents and their children. The son of trying to distract the "ancestors" from their favorite watching TV and advertising, asks the older sister to spend time together, but parents seriously convince the child that their classes are extremely important. As a result, "Dete", no one needs, "rolls" to the bottom. Words for actors can come up with the same or use the texts submitted by the parties to the production.
Dance for Teacher's Day: Perfects Grade 5 (Video)
Preparing the speech on the teacher's day, the guys from grade 5 can choose a dance. Staging dance K. festive DayAs a rule, the senior comrades of the five-graders are engaged in, their parents or the guys themselves visiting ballroom and sports dancing. Dance can open a concert in honor of a solemn day or become part of a big concert.
Dance directions The day of the teacher guys and the director choose themselves. It may be a contemp (modern dance with elements of theatrical stage), disco, rock and roll, beautiful ballroom dance, hip-hop. The main thing when choosing the number ─ its entertainment and, of course, the availability of movements for young dancers. The performers can use their artistic talents.
Musical numbers and dances for the day of the teacher from the 10th grade (video)
Schoolchildren engaged in dance studios and just enthusiasts put their dance for the day of the teacher.
High school students, student 10 classes, can be portrayed in a dance stage from school life or simply present the views of the audience beautiful, elegant ballroom dance or waltz.
October 5th to see the concert, expect to see from students elementary school, 5-10 classes dancing and funny, humorous scenes For the day of the teacher. Of these, both on bricks, and there is a bright, unexpected discoveries of new talent guys, a solemn concert for teachers and guests of the school.
Here is the holiday called the day of the teacher. In the meantime, he smoothly approaches all students "run" in search of what they will surprise their favorite teachers. And you also run? Or maybe you show funny scenes About teachers' day?
Miniature surrender exam.
Teacher:
Dear students, hello. Today we have an exam, and today in our school, in our class an experiment is carried out. We were connected to the cameras, and now everyone see us right in Moscow! So we behave well, do not write down and pass the exam.
Here one student pulls his hand.
Teacher:
Stepanov, what do you?
Stepanov:
I am, how to leave already want.
Teacher:
What does it mean?! We have an exam!
Stepanov:
So I want to "pass" and leave it.
Teacher:
A, pass! This is another thing! But remember Stepanov, everywhere cameras, so let's not put your class or the whole school in general!
Stepanov comes out and immediately goes to the teacher and gives it a heavy bag.
The teacher takes a bag and says surprisingly:
What is it, Stepanov?
Stepanov:
Like what? This is my exam!
The teacher looks into the bag, then wipes sweat from the face and says:
Why trifle?
Stepanov:
Just the bat in a minibus works, we always have this little thing!
The teacher gives the bag to the student:
Take a quick, stepanov. Cameras everywhere, and you are driving me!
Stepanov takes the bag:
And how then should I pass the exam?
Teacher:
See, my table is free? Sit down for him, and leave there.
The student is sitting at the teacher's table and says:
All is ready. I passed?
Teacher:
What passed, Stepanov?! See, cameras everywhere! Come on, I will help you now. Hint to me, what is your question.
Stepanov:
How to hint?
Teacher:
Raise your hand, you care for getting out and so between the taste of hint.
Stepanov pulls her hand.
Teacher:
Stepanov, what do you?
Stepanov:
Arthur Nikolaevich, you can, before I answer the question "The basic properties of the atom", are I going to the toilet?
Teacher:
You can, Stepanov, go.
Stepanov leaves. And the teacher says:
Here you see how Stepanov easily passed the exam?! And all because the dad at Stepanov works in a minibus, and Stepanov is preparing to continue the case of the Father and therefore hurries to quickly pass, and go to learn from the Father!
Scene - modern teachers.
Teachers can play disciples.
Teachers, in it two teachers. Another teacher comes to the teacher quick steps, throws a magazine on the table and says.
Teacher 1:
No, I can't so much! My forces are no more!
One of the teachers in the room asks.
Teacher 2:
What happened? Again, 8 "A" class brought?
The third teacher who was also already in the teacher's second.
Teacher 3:
Yes, 8 "A" It's just hell!
Teacher 1:
I told me mom: put the tights, the skirt is shorter, and go to the building of the city duma, anyone on you and "kick"! No, I dressed a strict suit, and went to go to the teacher, my career went to do!
Teacher 2:
Well, it is impossible so because of the same class! Still, these are children, it is necessary to softer with them somehow.
Teacher 3:
Salmon it is necessary. But I would be my will, I would have spun the nuts!
Teacher 1:
Where is it stricter? I call Petrov to the board, I ask - show Mallorca on the map. And he says - I will not show you, but I can tell how cool I can, we rested with my dad!
Teacher 2:
Yes, I, Petrov, after all, the son of the deputy, he can tell a lot! And Ivan Ivanov in class hand pulls and says - you can go out! I ask - where are you? And he answers - Cat feed! I say - what cat? Does something remained at home or have you been brought to school to school? And he answers me - I got the game, called a talking cat, so he has time. And shows me a tablet. I am directly and do not know what to do, I say, go, the food of the cat, I do not need hunger in the class of hunger.
Teacher 3:
And I have disciples flatly refused to teach Dostoevsky. They say Rospotrebnadzor made their favorite site with the games list forbidden, and they made it to their list of prohibited to study the authors of all writers and poets that we go to school!
Teacher 1:
Yes, it is not children, then ... I don't even know how to say not to get out!
Teacher 2:
Well, nothing, there will be a holiday on our street, it will be time for credits and exams!
The door to the teacher opens, another teacher is included and says:
Happy holiday, teachers!
L. Mishchenko
"I am late..."
Anton - late student.
The class broke into the student's lesson.
Anton. Sorry I'm late.
Teacher. We understood it. Explain why. What happened?
Anton. Oh, what only did not happen! .. I will start in order. When I hear the sound of alarm, it seems to me that they shoot me.
Teacher.And you immediately jump up?
Anton. No, I'm lying, like killed! Therefore, the Kesha wakes me, my parrot. Exactly at 7.30, he says: " Good morning! It's time to get up. " But yesterday, Kechi had a birthday, and I treated him ice cream. And in the morning the cache did not wake me up - I lost my voice, the poor fellow ...
Teacher. Ice cream, you say, got nursing. Interesting...
Anton. Well, that means ... I came out of the house ... And then I was attacked by an armed gangster!
Teacher. Horror! And what did he do?
Anton. Taken away homework!
Anton. Then I decided to help the old woman go to the street. And only I brought it to the middle, as the traffic light broke! The red light caught fire, and the cars were driving without stopping. So we sunbathe in the middle of the street until the adjustor appeared.
Teacher. That's how the story ... Tell me, Anton, is there any word of truth in your story?
Anton. Whole two: I was late.
"During break"
Characters
Odnoklassniki:
Rings call from the lesson. Children are cleared on the chairs along the edge of the scene: who with a book in the hands, who with games, call the conversation among themselves.
Vitalik. All people like people: to change along the corridor, we are, as abnormal, sit in class.
Masha. So we ourselves punished ourselves: they behaved badly, now I sit in the class for a whole week.
Someone sneezes.
Dasha. What will we now have?
Andrew. Mathematics.
Lesha.I love mathematics ... (refers to Sergey.) What is your favorite item?
Sergey. And my favorite item is a TV!
Anton. And my - tape recorder!
Yura. And my computer!
Natasha. Do you have a computer at home?
Yura. There is.
Natasha. You probably want to become a programmer?
Yura. No, a doctor.
Natasha. Ha, you have "Troika" on the "Environment"!
Masha. So what, Natasha, he will fix it! And what doctor - surgeon?
Yura. No, dental: people have one heart, and teeth - 32!
Someone sneezes.
Masha. Remember, Katya, as Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks Yura in the lesson: "Why is Storks fly to Africa for winter?"
Katya. I remember I remember ... what are you then, Yura, said?
Yura. Clear things, blacks also want to have children!
Sergey. Vitalik, and yesterday I got from my parents for the fact that you left the lesson of rhythm home?
Vitalik. Yes, not that fell, but the relationship has spoiled. Imagine, I hint at my father in the morning: "Dad, I saw in a dream that you bought me three portions of ice cream." Usually he understands the hints, and here says: "Perfectly, you can leave them yourself!"
Anton. Well, this is nothing yet. But my dad somehow two Poddeniel gave me.
Nastya.. For what?
Anton. The first time for the fact that I showed a diary with "twos". And the second - when he saw that this is his old diary!
Nastya.. Well, why did you show? It is guilty myself. With parents you need earlier. They forgot that they themselves were sometime.
Katya. How much time, Lesh?
Lesha. 10.20.
Katya. So, we are still 10 minutes to sunbathe before the lesson.
Dasha. Lyudmila Vladimirovna said, today there will be no extells ...
Sergey. Bad. I do not like to do lessons with my grandmother. Lyudmila Vladimirovna immediately recognizes her handwriting.
Zhenya. I once did the homework homes. And when I passed the notebook, Lyudmila Vladimirovna grabbed his head: "It's just incredible that one person can make so many mistakes!" And I say: "Why is one? Along with dad! "
Someone sneezes.
Anton. I, too, did not go to the extell. So Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks: "Advanced, Anton, who did his homework for you?"
And I answer: "I don't know, I went to bed yesterday early."
Masha. What I most like most in the extension is to drink tea.
Andrew. Yes, great!
Masha. And my mother gave a silver spoon and says: "Take the class. You will drink tea, put a spoon in a cup. From her, from silver, all microbes die. "
And I say: "Mom, what do you want me to drink tea with dead microbes?"
Sergey. And I somehow shout: "Lyudmila Vladimirovna! I have a savory tea. " And she: "Are you sacchard?" - "sank." - "Which way?" - "Right". - "So sugar left left!"
Anton sneezes, wipes his mouth with a sleeve.
Natasha. Anton, you, by chance, no nasal handkerchief?
Anton. There is, but I'm sorry, Natasha, I do not give it to anyone.
Masha. Listen, Lesch, I want to ask you. When I walk past your windows, sometimes I hear how your cat shouts almost a human voice ...
Lesha. This is my mine.
Masha. I, too, my cat, but she does not shout.
Lesha. Do you squeeze it?
Masha. Well, you are, Lesha!
Lesha. You yourself are alone! But my flea cat is not. And you, Masha, is better not forget to say mom that Lyudmila Vladimirovna is calling her to school!
Masha. And I said, Lesha! "Mom, I say," we have a reduced parental meeting today. " And she asks: "How is it abbreviated?" And I answer: "Very simple: Lyudmila Vladimirovna, you, I and the director."
L.. TOaminsky
Scene "Our Padege"
Characters: Teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the board and write down a small story that I give you a predictory.
The student goes to the board and is preparing to write.
Teacher(dictates): "Dad and mother scolded vow for bad behavior. Vova was silent to blame for himself, and then he gave a promise to correct. "
The student writes under the dictation on the board.
Teacher: Perfectly! Emphasize in its story all nouns names.
The student emphasizes the words: "Pope", "Mom", "Vova", "Behavior", "Vova", "Promise".
Teacher: Ready? We defined in what cases these nouns are standing. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Student: "Father and mother". Who! What? Parents. So, Padel is a genitive.
Scolded whom what? Vova. Vova is a name. So, the case of nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. It can be seen something did something. So, the "behavior" is the case of hardware.
Vova was silent to blame. So, here at the "Vova" case of the accusative.
Well, and "promise", of course, in a dutiful case, since Vova gave him!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out the original! Nesi-ka diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark would you suggest to put yourself?
Pupil: What? Of course, a five!
Teacher: So, the top five? By the way, in what case did you call this word - "five?"
Student: In the proposed!
Teacher: In the proposed Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
AND. B.utman
"Correct answer"
Characters: Teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided into two?
Student: What to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between who?
Teacher: Well, let, between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three me and one Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because the sidors one apple should.
Teacher: And he should not with the plum?
Student: No, it should not drain.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided into two?
Student: Four. And all Sidorov.
Teacher: Why are four?
Student: Because I do not like plums.
Teacher: Again incorrectly.
Student: And how much is right?
Teacher: But I now put the correct answer to your diary!
Scene "3 \u003d 7 and 2 \u003d 5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?
Petrov: What?
Teacher: All year you did nothing, did not teach anything. What to put in Vedomosti, I do not know directly.
Petrov (looking in gender): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What?
Petrov: I decided that our whole mathematics is incorrect and ... proved it!
Teacher: Well, and how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what to say there, Ivan Ivanovich! I am not guilty that Pythagoras became mistaken and this ... Archimed!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he, too, they said that three is just three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov(solemnly): It's wrong! I proved that three are equally seven!
Teacher: Like this?
Petrov: But, see: 15 -15 \u003d 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 \u003d 0 - also true. So, 15-15 \u003d 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We carry out general multipliers: 3 (5-5) \u003d 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: For sure.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) \u003d (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything upside down: 3 \u003d 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, lived.
Petrov: I did not want Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... do not get sick!
Teacher: Clear. Look: 20-20 \u003d 0. Right?
Petrov: For sure!
Teacher: 8-8 \u003d 0 - also true. Then 20-20 \u003d 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: For sure, Ivan Ivanovich, for sure.
Teacher: We carry out general multipliers: 5 (4-4) \u003d 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then everything, Petrov, put you "2"!
Petrov: What, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: And you do not worry, Petrov, because if we split both parts of equality on (4-4), then 2 \u003d 5. So you did?
Petrov: Let us suppose.
Teacher: So I put "2", whether it is not equal. BUT?
Petrov: No, not all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" better.
Teacher: Perhaps better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a twice per year, equal, in your opinion, and the top!
Guys, help Petrov.
AND. FROMemerenko
"Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder in the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, Momka ordered.
Andrew: Ha ha ha! True, ridiculous.
Vovka (Furiously): Why is it funny? I still did not start talking.
Andrew (Khokhalo): folder ... under the mouse! Well invented. Yes, your folder under the mouse and does not fit, he is not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? Folder - Papin. Did you go wrong from laughter, what?
Andrew: (Winking and knocking themselves on the forehead): Ah, I guessed! Grandfather - under the mouse! He himself says, and teaches. Now it is clear: the folder of the papin is your grandfather Kolya! But in general, you have come up with it - funny and with a mystery!
Vova (offended): What is your grandfather Kohl? I wanted to tell you something quite different. I did not listen, but laugh, you interfere with. Yes, my grandfather was sent out, planted under the mouse, what a storyteller was found! I'd rather go home than talking with you.
Andrew(Himself, remaining one): And what is he offended? Why should I tell funny stories if you can not laugh?
"In the lessons of environmental education"
Characters: Class teacher and students
Teacher: Who can call five wild animals?
Petrov's student pulls his hand.
Teacher: Answer Petrov.
Pupil Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... Three Tiger.
Teacher: What is the dense forest? Answer, Kosichka!
Pupil Kosichkin: These are such forests in which ... good to darish.
Teacher: Simakova, please call the flower parts.
Pupil Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, answer us, please, what benefit is the bird and animals bring?
Pupil Ivanov: Birds beat mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers did you read?
Student Petukhov: "Frog traveler"
Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea from the river? Please Mishkin.
Pupil Mishkin: The river has two shores, and the sea is one.
A student of the Zaitsev pulls the hand.
Teacher: What are you, hares? Do you want to ask something?
Student Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, however, what people from the monkey occurred?
Teacher: Truth.
Student Zaitsev: That is, I look: the monkeys have become so little!
Teacher: Koshevin, answer, please, what is the life expectancy of the mouse?
Pupil Kozhevin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it is entirely dependent on the cat.
Teacher: Go to the board ... bags and tell us about the crocodile.
Student of sacks (Going to the board): The length of the crocodile from the head to the tail - five meters, and from the tail to the head - seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you say! Is it possible?
Student of sacks: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and on the environment until Monday - five!
Teacher: Hamsters, answer, for what people need nervous system?
Student Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why are you, Sichkin, look every minute for hours?
Student Sichikkin: Because I'm terribly worried, no matter how the call did not interrupt a stunningly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in the beak?
The student of proteins pulls the hand above all.
Teacher: Try, proteins.
Pupil Belkov: In a cocktail bar, Mar Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplikova, what teeth appear in the last one?
Pupil Teplikova: Put, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you very much difficult question, for the correct answer immediately put the five with a plus. And the question is: "Why is European time ahead of the American?"
Pupil Kushkin pulls her hand.
Teacher: Answer, Kushkin.
Pupil Kushichin: Because America was discovered later!
"In mathematics lessons"
Characters: Class teacher and students
Teacher: Petrov, you hardly consider up to ten. I can't do what you can become?
Pupil Petrov: Fudge on boxing, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Solve the task for the board goes ... Trucin.
A student of Truckin goes to the board.
Teacher: Listen carefully the condition of the task. Dad bought 1 kilogram of candy, and mom is another 2 kilogram. How many...
A student Trucchin is heading to the door.
Teacher: Truckin, where are you?!
Student Trushkin.: I ran home, there are candy!
Teacher: Petrov, carry a diary here. I put your yesterday's twice in it.
Pupil Petrov: I have no it.
Teacher: And where is he?
Pupil Petrov: And I gave him to Vitka - parents to birt!
Teacher: Vashekin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for ten more rubles, how much money do you have?
Pupil Vashechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: Yes, you just do not know mathematics!
Pupil Vashechkin: No, you do not know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, answer, how much will it be three times seven?
Pupil Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, the lessons for you always make a father?
Pupil Ivanov: And mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now decide on your own task number 125.
Pupils are accepted for business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why do you write off Terentyev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, it hesitates it, and I just check - whether he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is such Archimedes? Respond, Shcherbinin.
Pupils Shcherbinina: This is the mathematical Greek.
Scene "In the lessons of the Russian language"
Active persons: Teacher and class students
Teacher: Let's listen to how you learned your homework. Who will be answered first, he will receive on the score above.
Pupil Ivanov (pulls his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, put me at once!
Teacher: Your essay about the dog, Petrov, word in the Word Looks like an essay of Ivanov!
Pupil Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so we live with Ivanov in one yard, and there we have one dog at all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, a wonderful essay, but why is it not over?
Pupil Sidorov: And because the dad urgently caused to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit, who wrote to you writing?
Pupil Koshkin: I do not know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, then let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Pupil Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes Allows his son when writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word "egg", cynickin?
Student Sichikkin: No.
Teacher: Why?
Student Sichikkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch: a rooster or chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, determined the word of words: "Chair", "table", "sock", "stocking".
Pupil Petushkov: "Table", "Chair" and "Sock" - male, and "stocking" - female.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil Petushkov: Because stockings wear only women!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and disperse the offer.
Smirnov's student goes to the board.
The teacher dictates, and the student records: "Dad went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad is subject to, gone - a surehead, in the garage - ... Prepiction.
Teacher: Who guys may come up with an offer with homogeneous members?
Pupil Tulkin pulls her hand.
Teacher: Please tulkina.
Pupil Tulkina: There were no trees in the forest, no bushes, no grass.
Teacher: Dog, invent a proposal with numeral "three".
Pupil Dogkin: My mom works on a knitted factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go out to the board, write off the offer.
A student of Rubashin goes to the board.
Teacher dictation: The guys caught the butterflies with saccias.
Student Rubashin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Shubashin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashin.: What?
Teacher: Where did you see the glasses of butterflies?
Teacher: Bags, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Student of bags, stamped for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think, bags, what question does this word answer?
Student of sacks: How did it Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words opposite to their meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, bring you now your example.
Pupil Petushkov: Cat dog.
Teacher: And here "Cat is a dog"?
Pupil Petushkov: How? They are opposite and often fighting among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Pupil Sidorov: Sorry to waste time on a change!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why wasn't you in school yesterday?
Pupil Sidorov: My older brother fell ill.
Teacher: And what are you with what?
Pupil Sidorov: And I rode on his great!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience burst! Tomorrow without a father to school do not come!
Pupil Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkin, invent a proposal with appeal.
Pupils Sushkina: Mary Ivanna, call!
Six characters are involved in the scene: school principal, three teachers plus labor teacher, and one schoolboy. The plot of the scenes is simple: the director collects a meeting to prepare school for the arrival of the check. And then the plot develops with funny dialogues.
At the table are sitting teachers. The director comes
School Director: Hello, colleagues.
All: Hello, Stepanovna Elliona.
Teacher 1: Dead Souls?
Labor Teacher: And what is immediately a workman with Fizruk?! Well, drank a little after work ... we have the right ...
School Director: So, Stop. I already heard it. But the conversation is not about it. The auditor is going to us ... More precisely, the inspector from the Ministry of Education. They want to highlight our school grant for development, so he wants to see how we live here. And now he will come and see all of our mess.
Teacher 2: Or maybe it's even better. The worse everything will be, the more money will give?
Teacher 1: Then you need to go to the dining room. There in the kitchen, probably, the fascinal inscriptions of Australopitets remained ...
Labor Teacher: And what is immediately a workman with Fizruk?! Well, they drank a little after work ... Well, they recorded some information on the wall in the dining room. But this is not to forget ... if we have a Wi-Fi school, I would go and fixed everything on Twitter ...
School director: So, about Wi-Fi on the reporting, he has a year at school. So I ask everyone to know, and do not flaunt what is superfluous. So, let's go to the arrival of checking all the students on the line in the yard of the school. Let them see our organization.
Teacher 2: It will not work. There, jeep high school students stand. After this month, everyone paid the parking lot.
School Director: Let's then behave to the library. So to say we will show him our book archive ...
Teacher 3: The word "archive" is very appropriate here. I think, seeing our foliants and their condition, he is very doubting: the year of the publication of our era or to our era.
School director: So, let him eat a song for him. Music teacher, Tamara Konstantinovna, what are you going on lessons now?
Teacher 1: Vaengu ... Again I stand alone, I smoke, Mom, again ...
School Director: No, Will Not Go. What else?
Teacher 1: Let's drink for love how your eyes are bright ...
School Director: Okay, everything is clear with you. Offers are canceled.
Teacher 1: Sorry. Isachenkov from 8b very good Gufa and Bast reads.
School Director: It would be better for Pushkin and Lermontov read. I think that checks it will be more interested. So, where we have Peter Sergeevich.
Teacher 3: I'm here.
School Director: Good. You like a curator of the exam in our school, please do not explain to the disciples how to take the exam. Well, these of your famous allegories that "EGE is not a pregnancy test - nothing terrible."
Teacher 3: Sorry ... I wrote Fursenko on Twitter - he really liked it ...
School Director: Excellent. As they say in our formation "Listen to Vasilyev and draw on the contrary." Labor teacher ...
Labor teacher: Yes. I remember evrything. Our motto "without difficulty is not pulled out and teachers of labor."
School Director: Good, Remember. Let's without him. Maybe still try with children in the lessons something to make something?
Labor teacher: I do not see the point. Ikea dumping. Stools really not costly strict.
School Director: I understand. Well, let's at least not be disciples to teach the hookah to look at the lesson.
Labor teacher: In vain. The first time a school is something really necessary then in life taught and this innovation is collapsed. What is an institutional idea of \u200b\u200beducation.
School Director: Yes, colleagues. I feel not adding to us a grant, like sober fizruck and labor ...
Labor Teacher: And what is immediately a workman with Fizruk?! Well, drank a little after work ...
A student is knocking on the door.
Student: Hello. And Maria Petrovna can be?
School Director: Sidorov, Wait. You do not see, we have an important question here. We need to come up with a grant for school from an official to get.
Student: Okay. And what is there to think - 20% rollback and that's it.
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