Loss of trust in relationships. Refuse the roles of the defendant and the prosecutor. The reasons for the disappearance of the confidence of your loved one

From wearings are built on trust - everyone knows about it, but no one pays due attention to these words. As often, people were mistaken, thinking that once they know, it means that they had already lost themselves from misfortunes. But the truth of life is as follows: I know a little, you need to use it and always remember. So many know what confidence is and why it is necessary, but that it needs to be constantly maintained in relationships, forget about it.

Trust lose easy. It requires much attention and painstaking work, because to completely trust or cause confidence of a loved one - the basis of serious and happy relationship. Otherwise, if the trust is broken, then we can assume that relations go to the final end.

Causes of trust loss

What can cause confidence loss:

treason, jealousy, initial distrust;
non-compliance of human words to his actions;
deception in any form of its manifestation;
discrepancy of desires and expectations real life;
the intact of the goals that were promised to a partner.

And much more, which can lead to adverse consequences. Almost every couple or family faced similar situations that confessed questioned. However, everyone came out of it in different ways. Someone managed to forgive and translate the relationship to a new level, and for someone it became the beginning of the end.

How to return confidence in the relationship?

Another truth that everyone knows, but forget - « Lose confidence easily, but it's hard to return! » And indeed it is. After all, to trust a person again, who has already managed to lose it on his own initiative or unintended, says that he can also do again, as soon as he relates and a good moment happens. The process of returning confidence is very complex and long, and there are very few books on this topic. After all, people are accustomed to rapid results, which means it is easier for them to read the book or article like: "How to attract the attention of men" than "how to return trust in relationships?", What takes too much time and is painstaking hard work.

To proceed to the process of returning confidence, analysis of the situation should be analyzed:

Why do you want to return confidence? Do you really want to be close to your second half?
Are you ready for long and hard work to deserve trust?
What act did you lose the trust of your loved one?
In which case did your partner trust you?
You should get rid of jealousy which so much and often unreasonably undermines confidence.
Determine the clear concept of confidence that you will return.

Now do your re-education

If you were outreached in liesYou will have to become honest and open to your loved one. Tell the whole truth about the situation that forced you to lie. Explain why this is how you did, what thoughts were guided, admit their guilt. And henceforth say only the truth, no matter how bitter it. For real loving man I will understand and appreciate your sincerity, and again, although it is not immediately, but will begin to trust.
If jealousy has caused the loss of trust, review your behavior. Try not to give reasons for jealousy, do not flirt with others in front of a partner, limit communication with that person who caused such doubts of your halves. Tell about the events of the last day, about the upcoming plans to know the partner to know where and with whom you are. Constantly talk about your feelings, admit to love, no matter how far from each other you are not, so that the thoughts of infidelity do not arise.
If you betrayed your loved one , but they realized their mistake and want to return former relations by anything, then you must be aware that you have to work pretty. First, it is necessary to recognize your mistake and get the forgiveness of the second half. Secondly, it is necessary to change the attitude towards a loved one so that he understands all the seriousness of your intentions and felt your repentance in the deed. It is necessary to translate attitudes to a new level.
If you do not understand the reason for the loss of trust, put yourself in the partner's place - you may immediately become understandable. And henceforth, thinking to make any act, think about what the partner will feel, will it like it, will this not cause a tolly of distrust.
Try as possible to return to the situation that served as loss of trust. Get forgiveness and do not remember anymore and do not talk about the deed. Make so that your favorite person threw your misconduct from my head and did not want to cause you a feeling of guilt. Remember that mistakes do everything, the most importantly able to correct them correctly and in time.

You must remember that if you once again break the trust of another person, then, most likely, never return it anymore. Further deal with actions that you will prove that you can trust. Psychology of men and women are simple. If you need to deserve the trust of the partner, then you just need to ask for forgiveness from him, after which it is to show his devotion to him.

Unfortunately, there are times in the life of girls when they make mistakes and lose confidence from the beloved men. Then, of course, the moment of repentance and the desire to restore the relationship occurs. But is it possible? The answer is most often positive, it is only necessary to gain patience and act sincerely, demonstrating the favorite person the preserved feelings and the desire to resume relationships.

Do I need to restore relationships?

First of all, it is necessary to think, and is it worth returning the trust and the man himself. Very often the cause of action to restore trust is the feeling of guilt. The girl did something wrong, destroyed the relationship and should now do everything to restore them. But is it worth it?

First, you need to understand yourself. After all, lying, treason or attempts to partition were reasons. Where did they come from? Most likely, not everything suits in a relationship, or they are not harmonious enough, since she had to lie to her beloved or even to communicate with another man. Therefore, before starting actions to return lost confidence, we should weigh all positive and negative sides Relations, understand whether there are real feelings for the guy, and then, it is quite possible, it turns out that there is no sense in restoring confidence, it's easier and more correctly leave everything as it is.

Also, it is also worth thinking, and whether the girl loves the guy. Of course, such a question should not be set after the treason. Such a situation for a man is very painful, and it will definitely need a break or time to make a decision, how to live on. But if an innocent lie was revealed, after which the man made a scene, then this is a serious signal and it is worth thinking hard before rebuilding with a guy in such a situation.

For no matter whatever reason, confidence, psychologists and specialists in relations are advised to follow a number of recommendations, how to return the trust of the guy:

You should not use manipulation techniques. The desire to return the guy after parting should be absolutely sincere. Manipulations sooner or later will reveal and lead to even more sad consequences. For example, some girls in an emotional impulse can threaten the guy that if he won't return, they would somehow hurt themselves. The guy in such a situation is likely to return, but how he will feel in such a way further - big question. A high probability that he will look for any reason to break them, because it was forced to return.
If, in the process of restoring relations, the girl gave some promises, it is very important to do everything to fulfill them. The re-lies will be perceived as permanent, and restore trust every time it will be more complicated.
Should not remind about conflict situation, Including, and, stressing that the girl was corrected and now does not do it anymore. Unpleasant memories can lead to reverse effect - renewing the feeling of distrust, as the guy may suspect something wrong if the girl specially emphasizes the correctness of his behavior.
But the most important recommendation is to do everything with sincere feelings, with love and concern about the person. Then, after some time, the guy will accurately appreciate and the relationship will be restored.

What if I had to lie guy?

False is the main of the reasons for which couples break. Better, of course, do not bring to such a situation, but if it happened, that is, several rules that will help answer the question of how to return the location of the man in such a situation.

First - you should not immediately begin active actions. The guy, after the lies opened the time you need to calm down, understand the reasons why the girl could do it. Therefore, the first few days or even weeks after lying should not call or send SMS a guy with apologies. This girl will only aggravate the situation. It is better to give time to the fact that the emotions calm down, the psychological state came to normal, and then you can take attempts to calmly talk and resume relationships.
Second Council, how to return confidence in the relationship - try to put yourself in the guy's place. It is necessary in order to understand what words and actions would help return confidence. The rule is quite banal, but it has not become less useful. Look at the situation through the eyes of the partner is always useful.
Third - you need to trust the guy yourself. If the girl learns to demonstrate confidence, love and care, the guy will answer the same. But for this it is necessary to gain patience. After the loss of trust, the guys, as a rule, are closed, and must pass some time so that they again have become ready for the resumption of relationships.

Is it possible to restore trust after treason?

Resume attitude after treason is very difficult. The fact is that the treason of a girl for a man means that she found someone better than him, therefore, self-esteem in a man falls sharply. Therefore, if the fact of treason has revealed, restore trust after it will be very difficult, but, nevertheless, perhaps. To do this, follow a few sufficiently simple recommendations:

Do not try to talk at the moment when a man learned about treason. In such a situation, he is in a state of affect and can make it nonsense, which will be sorry for himself, and the girl will be unpleasant to remember.
You should give a man time to take the situation and cope with your emotions. After the emotions calm down, a man will be able to calmly talk, you can discuss the situation with him. It may well be that he did not understand everything, and there was no betrayal, there was only an innocent flirt. If the treason was, then you can explain the causes and ask for forgiveness.
For the girl it is very important to forgive yourself. Forgive in this situation, it means to understand why treason happened and what to do so that it was no longer. Forgiveness will allow itself in another way to build a conversation with a man or a guy - he will feel sincerity of repentance in a situation and, most likely, it will believe that more the girl will not make such a act.

If you managed to get another chance in the relationship, it should be carefully related to it, because the third will be provided hardest. It is necessary to appreciate a man, take care of him and demonstrate love.

Restoring relationships after parting

If you could not restore trust and I had to part, the first thing I need to remember that life was not over. Parting is there, but they are followed by new meetings, so it's not worth falling into a strong depression. To begin with, you can talk with girlfriends, to do your favorite thing. If there is no hobby, it's time to find it. Many helps to survive the stress from the separation of needlework.

The Second Council, which psychologists give - to pamper yourself. You can delicious food, you can buy things, you can take a break somewhere, change the situation. In general, try changing your familiar lifestyle, which was before parting with your loved one.

At the same time, it is not necessary to get involved in sweets during depression (they harm not only appearance, but in general health, since the hormonal background of man changes during stress). Also cannot be abused alcohol or start smoking. Any parting is not worth it to root your health.

As a rule, after a while, life and mood is normalized. Moreover, a person in a good mood attracts attention to himself, so ceasing to grieve, can meet a new beloved person, and maybe a guy who will understand that he loves and is ready to forgive returns and everything will be in his place.

So, if there are problems in relationships, and lost trust, it is necessary, first of all, to comprehend, whether to continue these relationships. If it is worth, you should show patience and sincerely demonstrate your favorite feelings. In this case, it is impossible to humiliate. When feelings are stronger and real, they will overcome any obstacles.

Guys, we put the soul in the site. So
what you open this beauty. Thanks for inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us in Facebook. and In contact with

Ideal relationship, like perfect people, do not exist. 23% of men and 19% of women admitted that they changed their partners. But more interest calls other data. Of those couples that turn to a psychologist for help after treason, 70% remain together. In this article we will tell how to work on relationships to return the confidence of the partner.

website Collected advice who most often psychologists give couples who survived the betrayal and decided to preserve relations, no matter what. Change both men and women, so the tips will be useful for both partners in a pair.

1. Do not try to reduce the pain caused by the act

A deceived person is very important to know how it really was. When you sincerely try to answer questions, you can consciously or not to take some details or be limited to general answers. And at the same time you will assume that they did not lick.

Your partner will feel that something hide something from him. And some details will emerge with time, and this will turn the life of the one who was deceived, in a nightmare. In the grains, collecting everything that happened, he will constantly hold the picture of terrible betrayal in his head, and his life will turn into hell.

But the avoidance of conversations about what happened is not the best decision. No need to hide something and unfold. To go through this sophisticated stage, It is necessary to survive the worst and feel pain, otherwise healing will not come. Do not attempt to minimize suffering, because the best medicine in this case is time.

2. Speak all the truth and even a little more

Trust in the relationship is a very fragile thing. If you once were caught on lies, best strategy Conduct - talk to a loved one for the truth.

Practitioner psychologist Robert Weiss notes that it is possible to restore trust, only making complete transparency with a mandatory part of your relationship. And this concerns even the smallest things. If you are going with a friend in the bar, so tell your second half. No need to invent more "harmless" locations in which you allegedly are.

3. Do not go to the attack

One who wants to deserve trust will not have easy. Listening to negative comments and comments in its address will be its everyday reality at the beginning of the way, and it is necessary to experience both partners.

Do not go to the attack. When you say "You yourself are also not an angel," you are trying to justify yourself, and this normal reaction psychological protection. But think that it can give you. The anger of your beloved person is quite explained. Do not tell him in response unpleasant things if the goal is to save the relationship, and not destroy them.

4. Refuse the roles of the defendant and the prosecutor

When the worst thing is to recognize in deception - already behind, the most difficult stage comes. If you decide to stay together, you should not play the role of the defendant and the prosecutor. This behavior does not strengthen confidence, it gives a completely opposite result.

The "prosecutor" will try to indispens her anger, and he will invent new and new quests and tasks for the one who lost his confidence. "The defendant" will try to get indulgence, and he will also accumulate anger as attempts to end with nothing.

The best solution in this case is to stay calm and straight to tell the partner that you are willing to take a guilt, but constant ukoles and mention of it will not help it.

5. Do not draw other people

The decision to stay together after betrayal took both of them, and the responsibility for it lies only on you two. That is why you should not pull into the process of finding out the relationship of other people, whether friends, relatives or your own children.

This also applies to the one who made a betrayal, and the one who decided to find his strength to forgive him. Talking about what happened should be carried out only in a pair, without outside interference, condemnation and sympathy. Psychotherapist Joe Court is confident that the only one who can be the third in such conversations is a family psychologist.

6. Give partner more access

Let the partner in a completely personal corner: social networks, SMS in the phone, calls.If you decide to be honest, then you still have nothing to hide. A similar step will help the partner calm down, to trust you.

Over time, a deceived person will understand that constant checks are not needed. And when confidence in the pair will be restored, they will stop.

7. Make symbolic actions

Dr. Jim Walcop, a marriage consultant from New York, advises its customers who came to him with the desire to survive treason or any other betrayal, make symbolic actions. It can be something that gave you both joy when you just started to meet and were happy.

You can go to the movies on the last session or for a walk to the park, feed the swans on the pond. During such classes, it is necessary to refrain from accusations and not remember what happened. This will help accumulate more positive joint memories.

For extreme lovers, there are other options: go on a journey, move to another city or country. This is also a strong emotional shake, which both should perceive as a point of reference, from which relationships begin again.

8. Do not wait for instant forgiveness

Do not wait for forgiveness instantly, and do not need to put pressure on the partner. It is unlikely that it will lead to something other than new outbreaks of the negative. The best thing to be done is to start listening to the feelings and needs of your partner. The pain he feels is very strong, she simply cannot stop at one moment. This is normal.

Solving to preserve the relationship after betrayal, both in a pair must be ready for the fact that everything will not be as before and first will be very hard. Yet statistics indicating that 70% of steam remain together after family therapy, encouraging.

Have you ever encountered betrayal in relationships and could you restore trust with your loved one? Share in the comments.

How to return confidence

Promotional and happy relationship between a man and a woman are built on mutual understanding, love and ... trust. At the same time, it is often the last component of a happy relationship most importantly, because more, as if not trust, it is hard to earn, and it is very easy to lose.

Why is that the trust is most important? In a relationship, in which there is no love, but there is trust, it is going to live with myself. A man and a woman no longer experience such warm feelings to each other as at the beginning of relations, but they are sure that when one will be bad, the other will substitute the shoulder support. But, if there is no trust in the relationship, then love is leaving about them. Moreover, if with a strong sense of love is lost confidence, it is even able to push a person for a crime. It is enough to remember how many family crimes began with a banal, at first glance, jealousy. In less dangerous forms of loss, confidence leads a married couple to constant scandals, poisoning the lives of each family members. Together with the scandals in family life, the lack of surcharge comes, when a person asks a partner: "How are you?", And gets in response the standard "normally". Moreover, it is "normal" pronounced such a tone that the question asked can easily read the hidden meaning invested in response - "leave me". " And even if a person has hundreds actual problems, but there is no confidence in the partner, he will never share his experiences with him, but he will not be silent, but will tell all his friend / girlfriend.

As you can see, the relationship without trust is no longer a relationship, but torture. People, on the one hand, who invested in each other, do not want to lose a person, however, on the other hand, such family life No longer gives any joy. Of course, trust in the relationship can be returned, but also to work for this will have no less than to create these very relations, because the return of trust in the relationship is a kind of their second birth.

Before deciding what to do in order to return trust in a relationship, you need to know for what reason this trust was lost. It is right as in the disease - in order to designate optimal method Treatment, it is necessary to identify the causes and symptoms of the disease. So, the trust of the native person can be lost for the following reasons:

1. Jealousy. Jealousy can be both reasonable and unfortunate, but it does not change from this. The jealousy "nibbles" man from the inside, undermining even the most seemingly unshakable confidence in the partner.

2. Treason. Fact treason as nothing else destroys trust. After all, and in the truth, how can you trust the person who betrayed you? Fortunately, even betrayal can be forgiven, and return confidence in a person, but all the cunning of betrayal is that the pain caused to a person does not disappear anywhere, and he will remember him until the end of his days that he betrayed him the most expensive man.

3. Mismatch of human words to his actions. If a person talks about how the partner is expensive to him, and all actions are explicitly hinting at the absolute indifference to a person, the trust will sooner or later will be lost. Also, this inconsistency may occur when the partner gives a promise to change its behavior, but such a promise for a long time Not supported by concrete actions.

4. Lack of confidence at the initial stage of the birth of relations. It happens and so, the relationship of trust was not initially not initially, and the partners simply created the "illusion" confidence, or they just liked the relationship in which jealousy and quarrels on the soil of jealousy are dominated (there are such "sadomasochists"). In this case, the tips are unnecessary, as it is impossible to return something that has never existed.

5. Further. Regardless of the form of manifestation, the deception undermines confidence in the partner. Even if the trust will later be restored, a deceived one day the partner will not be more believed from the first time. In order to avoid this reason for the loss of trust, many partners initially agree to always talk to each other truth, but not everyone can keep this promise.

6. Mind of partner and real life expectations. If the partner promises the Golden Mountains, happiness without borders and carefree life, after which the person gets absolutely not what he expected, it strongly undermines confidence in the partner and his words.

So, if one of the aforementioned reasons was lost the trust of the partner, the first thing to be done on the way to restore trust relationships is to analyze the situation. Many mistakenly, even really understanding the loss of trust, go to the partner and arrange the "interrogation with the addiction" to him, than only aggravate the already unpleasant situation. To begin, it should be answered for several important issues:

1. Which of your actions hit the partner in confidence in you?

2. Are you aware of what sacrifices you have to go to rely on the confidence of a person

3. Are you ready for these victims, is the person so much for you to do everything on my own, in order to conquer his confidence again?

4. Remember the time when your partner fully trusted you. How were you then? What are the deeds distinguished you, and which of them are not peculiar now?

5. Determine precise definition The concepts of "trust". What is the point of investing in this concept?

When you analyzed the situation, consider the basic mistakes that should be avoided while trying to return trust, namely:

1. If you are wrong, do not attempt to prove the partner the opposite. Of course, how many people are so many opinions, and, perhaps, for another person, your position will be quite clear, but your partner is not another person. The partner believes that you are wrong that you betrayed or deceived, which means attempts to prove the opposite, even more will undermine the remnants of confidence in you.

2. Never blame the loss of your partner's trust. Very often in the loss of trust, we have to blame partner and its shortcomings, as it is much easier than honestly to recognize the presence of your guilt. This is true to men, and to women equally. So, who changed his partner a man can declare: "What am I doing with it? You yourself are to blame for everything, there was nothing to run so much. " If a woman changed, a man can hear: "Well, why should I be true to you? What did you achieve in your life? But Eduard is a businessman, successful and attractive. " In this situation, a person who, in fact, is absolutely innocent, is guilty of trust, which is not absolutely innocent, because the decision on betrayal was not made by him, but a partner. Such an attempt to shift responsibility to the partner at least is a ugly act. Naturally, in some cases the attack is best way protection, but the return of trust in the relationship does not apply to these cases.

4. Pretty words! If the trust is lost, the partner will no longer believe the words. Now you have to prove the intention to return the trust of the partner by affairs. Tell me below.

Now, when the situation of trust loss is analyzed and errors are taken into account, you can move to the direct return of trust. Of course, the "Return of Trust" sounds too simple, but in fact, to earn a partner's confidence again, you may need years. Nevertheless, there are advice following which you can speed up this process. So, here are these tips:

1. Recognize your guilt. If your wine is obvious, you should admit it, because without it you will never return the trust of the partner. However, it is not necessary to run to the partner after that and rushing to the knees with tears in my eyes, begging you to forgive. The only thing you will achieve - "fall" in the eyes of a partner, and will become an object of manipulation. How? Yes, just - the partner sees that you are ready for everyone in order to return his confidence, after which you will become fulfilled all the requests of the partner, believing that thereby return his trust. But not here, it was - your partner will not forgive you, but to hurt you the pain that you caused to him / her you agree with joy. Therefore, no humiliation - respect yourself.

2. If the reason for the loss of trust is associated with the regular failure of your promises, data partner, you should, first, to talk with a partner about what happened. To begin with, you recognize your guilt, and say that from today your words will not disperse with the affairs. "And all?" - Think some. Of course not! This is only the first part on the way to return confidence, as now you will continue to fulfill this partner promise, or not to make promises at all. It is also necessary to ask the partner, which of the unfulfilled promises he considers the most painful. It is best to record the received information on paper, after which it is possible to analyze what can be done and for how long, and what promises on this moment It is impossible to do due to the lack of financial opportunities.

Sometimes, the correct arguments of the inability to fulfill some promises are not perceived by the partner, then it should be argued again. It is very important to convey the partner the readiness to fulfill the promises. Even better if some of the most simple promises will be executed instantly. So, if you promised partners to quit smoking, get all the cigarettes you have, and demonstratively in front of the partner throw them away. Of course, for this you will need an extraordinary power of will, but you were immediately warned that you will have to donate many for the conquest. You want to return the harmony into your relationship, so? Then act.

3. If the reason for mistrust has become a reasonable jealousy, you will have to make a choice - or your partner, or the object of jealousy of your partner. If you make a choice in favor of your partner, then once and forever forget the coordinates of a person in relation to which jealousy is directed. Do not give more reasons for jealousy, and trust in the relationship, after a certain time, it will definitely return. If jealousy is unreasonable, you can simply talk about it with a partner, because it is, first of all, his problem is, not yours. Well, and if your arguments are insufficient for a partner, then the output one is to tear all contacts with the opposite sex, and more often be near the partner, it's not too late to come back home, without traditional lipstick on the shirt (for men), etc. In general, it is very difficult to live with jealousies, they find a reason for jealousy every day, most often jealousy unreasonable. And, if you want to build relationships with such people, get ready to conduct strict reporting - where we were, where we went, with whom they said, etc.

4. Do not press the partner. If a conflict has recently occurred between you and the partner, let him be a little alone. Do not immediately after the conflict run to a partner and put up, especially if the reason for a quarrel is serious. Sometimes, if the reason for the loss of trust is not catastrophic, your partner will understand it, and forgive you, even without your direct participation.

5. Decide your family questions without attracting relatives. If you are guilty of losing your trust, it is extremely unreasonable to ask any of your relatives to talk with your partner about the problem. You brewed this porridge - it is for you to get it up. And the intervention in the relationship of the family of third parties, as a rule, end in even greater conflicts and loss of trust.

6. When the reason for the loss of trust becomes treason, it is the worst option, because it is impossible to forgive treason, and it is impossible at all for some people. Pain, anger, misunderstanding, disappointment, malice, bitterness is a far from the full range of all the senses who master the person after the awareness of betrayal. Such a person is ready to literally carry everything in his path.

Despite the fact that women are more likely than men, they are experiencing bitterness of treason, they are less likely to bring things to breaking relationships, and they are able to forgive trees. With men, everything is much more difficult, because in this case there is not only his pride, but also a pride! Survive treason for a man means not only to be disappointed in a partner, but also to lose confidence in your male consistency. In order to return the trust of men, and he should earn his forgiveness:

A) to humiliate in front of a man. This we have already considered earlier.

B) leaving himself, accuse the partner in what has happened and roll the hysteria. When a man is already humiliated with treason, charges to his address even more push him to rupture relations.

C) talk about treason in all details. It will only spur a man and his fantasy, after which irritation would only increase.

D) ask other people to influence the man. Pressure from an offended male pride may not withstand. In addition, if these people are your friends, treason information on the same day will be well known.

E) do not focus on children. Children are extremely rarely caused to preserve the family for a man, unlike a woman. In addition, so a man will understand what they are trying to manipulate, and certainly will not live with you.

So what do you need to do, so that a man forgave treason and his confidence returned to you? First, do not wait for a quick forgiveness from a man. Treason is you not deceiving in some "trifle" business. It should be recognized that the betrayal was a big mistake, which you are talking about right now, and that betrayal did not bring you anything except for huge disappointment. Try as much as possible to remember what happened, in order not to pour salt on the unexpected wounds. Come with dignity, doing everything possible in order to deserve the forgiveness of the partner. Time, as they say, the best leakage in this situation.

7. If the reason for the loss of trust is a lie, you should explain to the partner, which was the reason for the reason for you to solga, what thoughts you were guided by at that moment. From now on, tell the partner always the truth, even if this truth with the "bitter aftertaste".

8. When the partner's forgiveness is received, try as close as possible to return to the memory of the situation that caused the loss of confidence in the situation, allow your partner to throw out the memories from the head, which it hurts it. You repented in the deed, corrected the situation, and now it's time to leave all the bad in the past, so that you can build a future based on mutual understanding and trust.

And one more thing that should be remembered - if everything was resolved safely, and you received the forgiveness of a person, again winning his trust, this is not a reason to relax. Remember that if you again lose your partner's trust, you can not earn it for the second time. Therefore, from that day you will follow your words and actions, you will not deceive the partner, and you will be preserved. After all, it is very difficult to earn trust. So, maybe it's easier to lose it?

Just lightning flashed in my head among black clouds, and thundered when I saw this question online online. how to return the confidence of your loved one after lies? I immediately realized that I really want to answer him. First, a short answer, attention:

To return the confidence of your beloved person after a lie, never lie to him anymore.

To return the confidence of your beloved person after a lie, lie down him and on.

But ... but. Improve your lies, lie at a higher level.

Develop your abilities

In general, my skilled message is as follows: you do not know how to return the confidence of your beloved person after a lie, because it was not enough to delve into the question of trust as such. For one simple reason, you do not need it confidence. ()

Do you need what? That's right - control. Since you have so unthinky, they lost his trust, the question of sincerity and openness is definitely not yours. I do not want to say that there is no place for you to put a stamp. I just think that you probably did not grow up. Someday the ecology of relationships will acquire such importance for you that you will learn to trust. But so far - no. You want to live two lives, and maybe more. To get to the maximum. Take it - someday everything will change.

Why do you need confidence

Once again: You do not think how to return the confidence of your beloved person after lying, because you do not need confidence. You need not to be afraid that as a result of this of your lies and many other former and future lias, he will throw you away. He dresses from your personal territory, leaving emptiness, and this emptiness will be filled with regret, pain, a sense of defeat.

Not! If anyone who leaves, then he is not he, and you. So now you will not let him go. You will return his trust, because the trust kept him next to you! .. That is, you thought so. But you know what? Lies can be cunning and smart, but it is not about you. Because you have a lies in a pair with fear. And such a kit always includes stupidity. Here, by the way, why you can't lie. Remember Poor: who is afraid, must always tell the truth. Worthward strength, heard? And a lie is a miserable weakness.

***

Well, okay, distract for a minute. Relax. Think about the fact that places and people are good not only how they look, but also how it looks. Did you look at the world through your loved one?

View from the town of Sidi Bu-Said in Tunisia. The photo is an excellent example of lying, which only strengthens confidence. For example, this photo in a bright sunny day is made.

Okay, continue. Or, it means, never lie, or smarter. Let's go right now and do it.

Posnidty

So, to ask you, you need to learn to distinguish the nuances. Here, for example, such a nuance. Suppose you can not lie - what leads to the loss of confidence from the partner, and after the control over this partner on your part. This is the source data.

To begin with, you need to understand that the distrust keeps the relationship is stronger than trust - because for a false partner, a person holds out the controversial, naked nerves. This greatly binds, that is, when someone hurts us. there is a difference. So do not worry that he does not trust you. The desire does not disappear from this. And if it disappears, then from the other, we will not be distracted now.

The second moment is this: you need to learn to distinguish between communication levels. This, in general, the main thing is not to just understand how to return the confidence of your beloved person after a lie, but in principle, exclude situations when I need to return something. So, do the following, and this will already be my main, this Recommendation.

How to take confidence under control

Sincerely, openly, trustingly inform your beloved person that you are insincere, closed, lying the rubbish. Share with it this important information, stressing that only his exceptional impact on you broke out of your vicious laptop is a sore recognition. Tell me, that's higher than you that you wanted to correct a thousand times, but I clearly understood that it is impossible. Even for him, though you think that he can all, but you love him too much to torment. And ask him to quit you immediately, so as not to pour suffering so that no one hurts anyone. And, shorter, then everything is in such a spirit.

How it works

Since we are only at the beginning of your SHEO path, and you are not too smart, I will explain what the infinite force of influence this recommendation. It is in the so-called double bundle. The contradiction between the form (fully, nude sincerity) and the content (confession in deceit) will create such an electromagnetic field that will keep your partner better than the steel collar. And thus, the question of how to return the confidence of your beloved person after a lie will be resolved - a new, high-quality, high-level lie.

***

P.S. Of course, the responsibility for all the consequences of my recommendations is entirely on you. Tips without personal acquaintance and diagnostics - no more than fiction. This I am absolutely sincerely saying.