Jealous wife to the past. What to do? Jealousy to the past. Rust of old love in new relationships

Most of us cannot accept the fact that before meeting with us, the second half had relationships with another person. You are disgusted with your girlfriend in other people's arms, as she kisses with someone else. These questions about our beloved are constantly tormented by you, interfere with living hereby. How to get rid of jealousy to the past Girls (wife)?

At the very beginning of relations, lovers are in the seventh heaven from happiness. The feelings overflow them, they do not see and do not hear anything around. It seems that only 2 people are left on the entire planet, which are created for each other. At this moment I want to scream for the whole world:

"Stop, instant, you are fine!" ("Faust" Goethe).

But, relationships with time develop and, sooner or later, the candy-bought period ends. The parties begin to gradually be interested in their beloved about what happened in their lives before they met. This is a normal desire, because you want to spend your whole life with this person. To trust your half, you need to know almost everything about it! And, even if the answers received will hurt us, make it suffer, we do not stop, and continue to ask about your girlfriend.
Having learned the bitter truth, you begin to be angry, although you understand that you love this person, and that he will never betray you in the future. But permanent jealousy to the past girl prevents living in real. The most important thing in this case is to get out of the psychological trap. With such problems, people are often found, who build close (family) relationships. And all of them sooner or later find the strength to overcome jealousy.

The fact is that a loved one for you is always "the most-most" (the kindest, most clean, most faithful, the smartest, most loving). And this is the desire for the perfect and plays the evil joke. Man is not the perfect being. And he should tend to make mistakes. Therefore, when once again, you will be jealous of your girlfriend to the past, take a look at yourself. Did you not allow the same errors? Maybe in fact, you are also not perfect? Then why blame a person in what you still stumbled in your time?

Jealousy after treason

If your second half has ever changed you, then jealousy may come out of control in this case. You begin to jealous it literally to all: to the past, familiar, employees, random passing. The fact is that after treason, trust disappears. And without trust, living with a man becomes much harder.

Here you should weigh all the "for" and "against" and think about the feasibility of continuing your relationship. Most people, after treason, will most likely be able to forgive their soul mate. And how can you forget such a terrible deed .. you can forgive - you can not forget - it is impossible!

How to get rid of jealousy to the past?

To get rid of jealousy to the past, you need to learn how to cherish our second halves. Your lighter feeling should not blow up a draft doubt. No problems should weaken your feelings to each other! And even, if in life and there will be any misunderstandings, problems, try to solve them not only by the mind, but also in your heart.

Now you are sitting, reading this article, in search of an answer to your question: "How to get rid of jealousy to the past? How to forget everything that was your girl to you? How to forgive what she did? " And now imagine that your half went somewhere, disappeared, or did God happen to her? What do you feel? The same! Take care of your relationship and do not fool your head because it was in the past!

I am 20 years old for my girlfriend 18 years old with her introduced our overall friend whom I didn't have to sleep with her until it slept 2 times, but when she saw me I liked it and she was not for me, for her little loose manners and I began to communicate with her girlfriend and it communicated badly with her .. But at one moment for the common party I asked how I liked you, she answered yes, I missed it by our ears we got drunk I went to one room with her friend to sleep in another wall behind the wall To the other friend to sleep. And the next day, we began to meet her with her, she left everyone and left me with me, I felt something my own. And we will soon be a year and she is pregnant, but I still have bouts of rage for her past, the mind says one emotion. Other .. I often brought it to the tears now it seems to be kept to keep yourself .. but I still want to hear yourself Opinion of a specialist .. I hope for your support and understanding. Thank you for the help ... And I want to add that I am madly loved ... during this time. (Sorry for the unsighteous speech, I want to say everything and just just)

Answers psychologists

You love her, and so they are afraid of losing, you want it to belong to you all, always, even her past, and at the same time aware that it is impossible, because she is another person. Suffering - back side Happiness that gives us a strong feeling. And if there is one, there is another. We are pulling to your beloved person, almost merge with him, and at the same time it scares it and then we begin to be angry with him, jealous to break away and not merge. Such swings ... But now, besides this, there are in your relationship still something important. Now your girl is pregnant. This can also scare. But the most important thing is that she is pregnant with your child. Therefore, maybe try to send the energy of your jealousy to a positive direction? For example, in the care of them two. After all, now two, it is no longer one, the former. And the second there is half you yourself :).

Good answer4 Bad answer1

Hello, Roman! Happiness to you yes love!
It would seem everything in a good way and together, and love, and wait for the baby, ah no, it does not happen, there must be something bad ... And so a person finds this worm in itself and begins to nibble himself and his half !!! Why You Need It? Why do you torment yourself and her with a child together? After all, the clinging for the past - nothing will lead to anything good, but will only pump out all the energy and forces from all of you ... Live it's not why there is no, but what is now in fact! Appreciate what she found you and navigate - chose you! And you for her choice now judge! Do not judge, do not judge! And forgive and let go! Since the value of life is only in the present, as well as the power proceeds only from the present! And when the rage appears - so go to the hall and well-cheekko in a pear - will help! After all, if you really feel like you better than you? Therefore, the past let him remain in the past, but how she behaves now - this is important and relevance! And it is important to take care of her and as a wife and as a mother of the future of your child! Since now yours is needed

A man with every new partner acquires the experience that makes it more skillful, courtesy, adults - and eventually a more valuable partner for subsequent passions. But the woman every her "former" seems to add a certain invisible luggage, the sort of cargo of the past, which the train stretches for her to all the following relationship ...

Everything that was, everything that took, all the long time sailed,
Fucking her lip, and soul.
Everything that sang, all that flashed, all the long ago was thinned ...
Only you, my guitar, is good with the former ringing.
From the repertoire of P. Leshchenko

Jealousy to the former - the phenomenon is painful. In Russian spoken Speech There is an interesting phenomenon, apparently, indirectly reflecting for a long time Acquested in society views on trunkles and in general on polygamy relations of men and women. If a we are talking about a man who had numerous serious relationship With the ladies, they say about him: "An experienced man." If we are talking about a lady that did not live in a monk, then they will rather say about it: "Woman with the past." If you develop the logic embedded in the semantics of these phrases, it will turn out that the man with each new partner acquires the experience that makes it more skillful, courtesy, adults - and eventually a more valuable partner for subsequent passions. But the woman every her "former" seems to add a certain invisible luggage, the sort of cargo of the past, which the train stretches for her to all the following relationships. Unfair, of course. But, as they say, the expression does not exhaust.

Especially since experienced men, and women with the past have to equally experience attacks of their jealous halves. Although the attacks themselves differ very different both in their intensity and on the motivation of jealies.

An experienced man

Experienced men often get impressionable, emotional people in their lives. And speaking in language system-vector psychology - visual and skin-visual girls. Being not able to resist the temptation to include his rich fantasy, and sometimes just without knowing how to keep it under control, such girls in paints are loved by a beloved with the former ... Remember, "But Tell Me Does She Kiss Like i Used to Kiss You? Does IT Feel The Same, WHEN SHE CALLS YOUR NAME? " ("Tell me, she kisses you just as I kissed? And when she calls you by name, do you feel the same as with me?"). The monologue from the song of the legendary ABBA "The winner gets everything" is repeated repeated many times, only not with the gone man, but with the one that is near, and in the past time.

"Who instead I hose there, on your shoulder?!" - Thousands of women ask their partners, almost the word for the word repeating the lines from the song Julia Savicheva. A man who does not understand the reasons for these questions, tries to get away from the answer, stuck, change the topic ... Why does she, if it is not an anal woman in detail about the past? Why turn the past, if there is a wonderful present, and this man, on whose shoulder once it was hung someone else, is now always there? The reasons actually not so much, and they are all directly or indirectly associated with the emotional needs of a woman with an auditorium.

First of all, this is the need for experiences, thirst for emotions, if you want, emotional hunger. Which can be particularly sharp, if the visual girl went to the partners a calm and balanced man - the owner of the anal vector, for example. Such men are often biased on emotions, patient and restrained. And they all are good, except for one thing: you can easily die with boredom.

And here is a visual girl who needs emotional bursts like a H2O flower in a hot day, begins to search for the "poke". And what is not the reason the previous love stories of the beloved? I came across a photo in the computer, where he hugs a slim blonde in the blue bikini on the background of the sea bikini, and immediately the unlucky fantasy persistently thumps all sorts of "hot" pictures, from which the eyes instantly turn out to be on a wet place ... then they hug in the shadow of palm trees on the hot shore , then, holding hands, rushes to the fountaining surf, then naked swim in the transparent basin at the bungalow, etc. The past of her husband comes to life in his eyes, the imagination telesses the missing details. Well, how not to jealous? And now the spouse is waiting for the houses of tears and reproach: "And you did not get me on the sea!", "Who is this blonde, why didn't you tell me anything?", "Does she have a figure better?", "You More loved?! " etc.

Expressive Operations B. bright colors represent their partner in the arms of the "ex-". What if it were more romantic and gentle relationships? How did she call him? And what kind of tender words did he tell her? Really called "mouse", just like me?! Or maybe even kissed the neck? Oh ... Such thoughts are quite capable of breaking the sensitive heart if you put them on a samone. Again, all these strange questions and unfounded reproaches are able to withdraw from themselves ("Favorite, because I still didn't know you then!") The owner of even the most angelic patience.

Orthodox psychologists in this situation begin to argue about the complexes of the jealousness, about its insecurity or insecurity in a partner, to lose it, about the fear of losing it, on the damage to the comparison of themselves with the mythical rival, etc. And, perhaps, they are partly right. However, the deep reason still lies in the unrealized need of a woman in experiences. And past relations interpreted in a certain perspective can become a source of very spicy and exciting emotions and passions ... It seems that there is no reason to jealous a husband for the past, but how to deny yourself this?

But is it necessary for a man? Does it really really have a woman herself? Probably, family life may be a "passion volcano" and without archaeological excavations In the past "experienced man"? Answers can be obtained only until the end of it sobering in the true causes of this painful jealousy inherent in some exalted opticians.

Woman with past

A woman with the past has a completely different life scenario. Often, much more tragic and unpleasant. Since the role of jealous is most often a man with an anal vector, and this is the same vector that even the very phlegmatic husband is capable of turning into the eaten Jesuit. If the wife tells about his last experience, such features of anal man, as a thoroughness, methodologicalness, desire for the thorough knowledge of the subject, perseverance and perseverance (read - stubbornness) in combination with jealousy to the past of their chosen, are able to turn even the most sublime and net attitudes in the nightmare.

After all, if the anastor suspected his girlfriend (his wife) is that she had some kind of intimate life to meet him, and it was very saddened, he would not limit himself to standard questions about whether "who was it?" And "How long have you met?". Again and again he will turn out all new intimate details, starting at what the date they first kissed, ending with the postures in which his woman once had sex with previous partners ... This is not an exaggeration, there are many such cases, and, Unfortunately, many of these stories last for years (!), causing pain and a woman, and her an anal partner who behaves in such relations like a sadomasocheist.

If you look at the situation impartially, it will be obvious that almost every female child age in our time is a woman with the past. In the sense that by the time of a happy meeting with the "favorite and only" portfolio in her love portfolio there are from two to three to a pair of tens of novels. There is nothing to do anything, there are such people - people are looking for themselves, trying to taste life without clinging to relationships with the first oncoming, and looking for a person who will meet their internal needs and expectations. Often such searches occupy a lot of time, representing a series of meetings and parting. Well, since the multi-veneers under the handle have long been not in fashion for a long time, most of these fleeting meetings are accompanied by intimate relationships. You can condemn it or express regret, but not recognizing this fact just stupid.

No, of course, there are girls who "blew" their innocence, embroidering the towels in Svetlitsy waiting for the narrowed. But such with each new generation remains less and less; The bill has long been on units. And to reproach your choices that she "changed" with someone who was before, simply ridiculous, even if the wife herself told about his past experience.

However, the feature of the owners of the anal vector is a peculiar look at female morality. For example, the analicists subconsciously (and even consciously) divide women on "dirty" and "clean". Dirty - these are depraved, disturbing, dishonest, stained their honor, slava and prostitutes. Clean - Full opposite: meek, honest, elevated, decent, chaste, worthy of a snow-white dress of the bride and tremendous love. Native I. close man - Wife - I want to see, of course, clean. And "dirty", they are not a woman at all, so, whores, for one night, to satisfy low liness. Many representatives of the anal vector, by the way, do not fully consider treason to go to a prostitute. Well, because a dirty woman, do not confuse God's gift with the scrambled eggs. I satisfied my dirty lust with her, it was cleared and flew on the wings of love for his unpeiled angel, which sleeps at home on the on-cereal sheets ...

And suddenly it turns out that the Angel has some kind of life before meeting with him, with the only one who ascended her to the pedestal of love and respect. Some other people's men laid his "clean" and immaculate wife and even scary to say that they were engaged in her sex! The analica from such thoughts is everything boils inside! How so! Only he has the right to touch his wife! Maybe they were forced her? And in fact she did not want? Maybe she did all this through force, only at the insistence of these lustful maleans? It can not be such that she herself wanted this debauchery!

And the question starts, that yes, like. The whole soul from his woman, antelian will pull out, but will achieve sincere recognition. And having achieved, begins to reproach and shame, right up to scandals and leaving the house with clapping doors. All this brings something like a fairy tale about the blue beard, in which curious wives discovered against the punishments of the Forbidden Doors, for which they paid the cruel price.

At one of the forums dedicated to the problems of relations, I somehow came across a completely awesome confession of the anal jealous. I will not give it completely, only I will quote a small passage: "... I got acquainted with a cute, modest girl, began to meet. In addition to the appearance, she liked her modesty, decency ... I found out that she lived with a man to me. And I have a pointer: my wife should be innocent! But I decided to overcome my complexes; We began to live together ... I was interested in her past life, and in the process of our conversations about the intimate side of the past, she admitted that she had 4 men! First, it was disgusting, and I wanted to interrupt our relationship, but I could not leave. I tried not to think about it, we got married. But recently found some photos with her young people. Asked, is it someone from the former? She denied. I am a very forty person, and to deceive me difficult! I again recovered jealousy, and I began to climb into dirty laundry. I took the soul out of her, and she told everything ... "

What, and "remove the soul", the analists are able. And how do they not get tired of endlessly "dripping on the brains"?! The annoying and stubbornness of the Analica, who who faced the aim of achieving confessions, resemble the ancient chinese torture water at which a person was tied in such a way that he could not move his head, and in full darkness on his forehead very slowly, an hour in an hour, a day behind the days, in the same point the water dripped ... and they do not think that if Day a day to repeat the same thing, for example, to demand detailed stories from my wife about what happened in her bed before they met, sooner or later, a person can explode and talk on themselves with three boxes in vain, just only The investigator "lagged behind. Although for his wife it is a definitely losing decision, because it will not be lagging behind, not the case. The second series will go reproaches and charges.

Here is another confession of the husband suffering from jealousy: "I know that my wife loves me, she is very homely and a cozy little man. But as I will imagine what she was engaged in bed before me, losing the mind! I get sharp, rough, Hamlya she and I can do nothing with it ... It's terribly unpleasant to present it in bed with others, they all seem to me dirty and frozen! Probably, if someone who enjoys with me a big authority, told me that my wife, I lay down in bed before marriage, believed that I did it right (because it was not brought up as us with my sister), then I would easier..."

Interestingly, a man calls imaginary rivals "dirty and frozen". In order not to stain the bright and pure image of a "home and cozy little man", all responsibility for the breasting pants of his wife, the husband subconsciously dumps her previous partners. Jealousy to the former eats it. No less interesting and reference to an authoritative personality. The opinion of the people respected by them is very important for the analists. They are subject to the influence of prestiges and are even able to accept their own suspicions and obsessive thoughts if someone who has sufficient influence says that there are no reasons for excitement. But can someone be authority to sufficiently when it comes to past love relationship wives?!

This is how the jealies with an anal vector and tormented their "wives with the past". Completely safely and. After all, now she is next to him, with his chosen one, and does not think about any of their former passages. Although the obsessive jealousy and the soul absorbing the soul and reproaches are able to create their black things. Tired of unfortunate jealousy and Pathrigger, a wife can start thinking about, and whether she needs a relationship in which she does not trust her and endlessly say that it has long been ridiculous. And then, the jealous husband risks not far-fetched, but real reasons for experiences and excitement ...

"Everything that sang, everything that flashed, all the long ago was thinned," Peter Leshchenko sang in his famous romance. But, alas, for many, the past did not go to the fly at all, and some "old love" of a beloved wife or a beloved husband still seemed to be "lively all living things." To live with jealousy to the past relations of your loved one and the more building with him a harmonious relationship under the oppression of this soul feeling - the task is not from the lungs. Is it easier to get rid of the curse of the past? Moreover, there is a tool that eliminates jealousy to past an order of magnitude effective spells and magical rituals is knowledge of system-vector psychology.

The article is written on the materials of the training " System-vector psychology»

Jealousy to the past, how to get rid of it.

Most of us cannot accept the fact that before meeting with us, the second half had relationships with another person. You are disgusted with your girlfriend in other people's arms, as she kisses with someone else. These questions about our beloved are constantly tormented by you, interfere with living hereby. How to get rid of jealousy to the past Girls (wife)?

At the very beginning of relations, lovers are in the seventh heaven from happiness. The feelings overflow them, they do not see and do not hear anything around. It seems that only 2 people are left on the entire planet, which are created for each other. At this moment I want to scream for the whole world:

"Stop, instant, you are fine!" ("Faust" Goethe).

But, relationships with time develop and, sooner or later, the candy-bought period ends. The parties begin to gradually be interested in their beloved about what happened in their lives before they met. This is a normal desire, because you want to spend your whole life with this person. To trust your half, you need to know almost everything about it! And, even if the answers received will hurt us, make it suffer, we do not stop, and continue to ask about your girlfriend.

Having learned the bitter truth, you begin to be angry, although you understand that you love this person, and that he will never betray you in the future. But permanent jealousy to the past girl prevents living in real. The most important thing in this case is to get out of the psychological trap. With such problems, people are often found, who build close (family) relationships. And all of them sooner or later find the strength to overcome jealousy.

The fact is that a loved one for you is always "the most-most" (the kindest, most clean, most faithful, the smartest, most loving). And this is the desire for the perfect and plays the evil joke. Man is not the perfect being. And he should tend to make mistakes. Therefore, when once again, you will be jealous of your girlfriend to the past, take a look at yourself. Did you not allow the same errors? Maybe in fact, you are also not perfect? Then why blame a person in what you still stumbled in your time?

Jealousy after treason

If your second half has ever changed you, then jealousy may come out of control in this case. You begin to jealous it literally to all: to the past, familiar, employees, random passing. The fact is that after treason, trust disappears. And without trust, living with a man becomes much harder.

Here you should weigh all the "for" and "against" and think about the feasibility of continuing your relationship. Most people, after treason, will most likely be able to forgive their soul mate. And how can you forget such a terrible deed .. you can forgive - you can not forget - it is impossible!

How to get rid of jealousy to the past?

To get rid of jealousy to the past, you need to learn how to cherish our second halves. Your bright feeling should not blow up a draft of doubt. No problems should weaken your feelings to each other! And even, if in life and there will be any misunderstandings, problems, try to solve them not only by the mind, but also in your heart.

Now you are sitting, reading this article, in search of an answer to your question: "How to get rid of jealousy to the past? How to forget everything that was your girl to you? How to forgive what she did? " And now imagine that your half went somewhere, disappeared, or did God happen to her? What do you feel? The same! Take care of your relationship and do not fool your head because it was in the past!

It is difficult to meet a person who in adulthood did not have experience in the shoulders experience of relations, both positive and negative. Some men seriously perceive the fact that their faithful lived or met by someone else. Because of this, an insecurity arises, a sense of doubt, and jealousy to the past wife.

A man, as a more wise participant of the relationship, must take the past partner. IN real life Everything happens on the contrary: a person begins to panic, nervous, make a claim, thus spoils relationships, kills feelings, harm not only with his beloved, but also to itself.

Almost every visitor of weak sex faced the situation when Kavaler demonstrates devotion, it seems cute, caring, and after some time turns joint Life In this hell.

This can be manifested as follows:

1. Criticism girlfriends. Often, a man considers close familiar familiar to his companion not enough decent, flirting with everything in a row and prohibits joint meetings.
2. Constant control. This is expressed in hysterics if the phone is turned off or no one takes the phone, reports on reports for each step.
3. Scandals because of the attention of other men. The woman is forced more modest to dress, listen to claims that someone looked at her left a compliment in social networks Or tried to meet.

Causes of jealousy to the past wives

The root of the problem lies both in the psychological complexes of the man and in the suspicious behavior of his wife:

1. Old psychological trauma. A man, at least once in his life, tested bitterness from the care of his beloved woman to a former partner, can experience that the situation will happen again and experience heavy flour from it.
2. Low self-esteem. It manifests itself in the insecurity of a man in itself, in their capabilities, qualities. He considers himself not good enough and thinks that the wife, comparing him with a former companion, can break the current relationship.
3. Mental disorder. In this case, the factor of excessive suspicion are some deviations in the psyche of a man. The spouse may not even give a reason to doubt her loyalty, but the person will appear the obsessive thoughts that the wife necessarily changes him with the former.
4. Fear due to a possible emotional connection with a former partner. In each relationship, people build plans, spend a lot of time together, they are associated with things, friends, places. And often they are as anchors forcing the woman to come back to the thoughts about past relations, how well they were in them. In this case, emotional communication is not yet broken. The probability of such a situation causes a man to worry about the future of relationships.
5. Permanent references to the former. Some women have a habit as if accidentally remembering the past satellite, tell the part of a joint pastime - where they went what they did, and also mention the personal characteristics of the former. A man can interpret how not cooled love, sympathy.
6. Maintaining past contacts. These include correspondence by phone, regular calls by phone, internet communication. This undoubted leads to jealousy, as it may mean that the relationship is not finished yet.

How to get rid of male conciseness

Here, there are ways of ways to overcome jealousy in relation to former partners and subjects from the past, gifts, as well as the past lifestyle.

About former partners

1. It is worth showing prudence And do not arrange a scandal. No need to make forget the former satellite. Time treats and previous events will be less likely to remember.
2. Do not ask about past relations And about what was in them, as it can open the old wounds and harvest marriage. If the wife herself begins to tell, then calmly say that this is a uninteresting topic and translate the conversation.

Items, gifts from the past

1. Do not force your favorite to throw out presented items. A gift can be useful for her and if he does not like her, it is not necessary to throw it out or give someone. It is necessary to respect the personal partner's space.
2. Talk with your beloved. Calmly, without hysterics, explain that the storage of the wife of presented items delivers unpleasant emotions and ask to remove them not to wear.

Lifestyle to marriage

1. Work on yourself. An excellent way to defeat the unpleasant feeling of jealousy is to attach their own thoughts and feelings. It is necessary to understand that if the woman did something in the past, it will not necessarily be in a new life.
2. Present new sensations. No need to go there and relax as the wife did it with her former partner. On the contrary, it is necessary to give her new emotions and impressions, open another world. This will allow her to forget the past and plunge into a new reality.

In order to defeat jealousy to the past wife, you need to show a lot of effort, but the work done will bring peace of mind, restore the world and harmony, relieve a husband from suffering:

1. Understand that the past remains with a person forever. You can not forget the events of the old life. People and situations remain in memory for life. Most proper option, Bottling Nerves and Health is to accept everything that was in your beloved and let go of the situation. You should not worry too much, because if in the past marriage everything was fine, then the relationship would not end.
2. Take radical measures. If a diplomatic way to wean a woman to communicate with the former does not work, then it is necessary to show men's qualities and in a tougher form to explain to his wife, which is unpleasant when the beloved person is in the past and continues to communicate with the former. In some cases, to effectively put ultimatum. He will definitely understand who exactly is important to the girl. When the favorite refuses to stop the flirt with the former, it is worth thinking well, and whether such a marriage is needed.
3. Go to. A woman instinctively reaches a successful man. Instead of spending time on the surveillance or study of the phone of the blessed, it is better to plunge into work, start earning more money, sign up for a gym, more beautifully dressing, become an interesting interlocutor, get a new education. This will feel more confident, overcome jealousy and worry about some kind of ex.
4. Need to have self-esteem And do not go down to peeping into the phone at night and scandals. A man does not paint. Jealousy is a feeling that has nothing to do with love.
5. At first, it is better not to take any action And see what it will work out. If the wife continues to provoke on jealousy, even if unconsciously, it is worth a convey to her discontent. It is not necessary to follow her bad behavior and to retaliate an intrigue on the side. It is low for a man.
6. If the conversation "souls" does not bring the result, It is worth thinking about the further feasibility of relationships. In any case, you only need to act when there is a real reason to doubt. In other cases, jealousy does not live, leads to a loss soul equilibrium and tranquility, and then to a decrease in the health, quality of life and the destruction of a wonderful feeling of love.

Video: Jealousy to the Past partner