Question to a psychologist:

Hello! I will start from afar. According to youth, I was set up in the bank Cassir, there was such a father's desire, he wanted to work on "prestigious" "work. I thought why not, you can try, although something in me was against. The working conditions were not just tough in a psychological plan, I was not sure, I was called Bleste, for the slightest mistake, I drank morally, every day I drank Valerian's bubble. I remember well the case when incorrectly wrapped the pack of money into the wrapper, and I brought me to the whole room to tears. When I just didn't have enough strength, I quit, but inside something broke, since then I began to be afraid to make a mistake. When the voice increases me, report, criticize, etc., I want to scream, cry, escape, cringe and close, but I am an adult, it is not serious, and you need to keep myself in my hands, and it gradually switched to some "" Selfhood "" that I am a kosyaty fool, fault. It always was brought up so that you should always start with myself, and in fact: no matter what happens in your life - you are to blame, although your relatives often interfered with my life and pressed. Someone will be complaised, I will answer with 100% probability - you chose this work itself, which now complain. IN lately At work of trouble, the bosses go angry, yesterday I was fined me for 1000 p for a delay of 10 minutes, although it was not my wines, the bus climbed the cork due to the accident. Each error began to be treated as if it was a terrible catastrophe. Against this background, from any experience, my head began to hurt, sometimes sick, shake hands, and in the shower gadstly. I understand the mind, but I'm already scary to go to work and do something. Tired of constant tension and physical pain. Maybe the problem would solve the conversation for souls with someone, but I do not have such people surrounded.

Psychologist Gladkov Elena Nikolaevna answers the question.

Hello, Anastasia!

Your condition is very familiar to me! And it seems that it arises because of fear not to justify the expectations of someone who has a value for you, and the fear is so big that it "turns out" its own psychological protection, such as getting out of the place where you are uncomfortable where you do not like where you are accompanied by fear and moral tension making your life unbearable.

As often as a child, the parents "rank" by advice from their experience, absolutely not thinking about the need to receive this very experience. In our language there are even a variety of relevant sayings and proverbs, the meaning of which, in my opinion, is perverted by unrecognizable, such as "on foreign errors learn", or "Eggs chicken are not taught" and even "Giraffe is big, he is more visible." They are used especially careless and guarding parents in order to protect their favorite child from mistakes, failures in life and disappointment, and in fact they only lead to paralysis of the will and fear to be a loser in life!

Here is your story about your own uncertainty and fear to express myself started with the "Father's desire", which wanted you to work on the "prestigious" job. The kind of "dictate" of choice, when the choice seems to be, and on the fact it is absent! And it is clear, to fail this experience of "growing", not to justify the trust rendered and be an ungrateful daughter, refusing such assistance, is simply unacceptable for obedient and loving daughter.

And the failure of this only result of its own worthlessness and inability and to justify it can only be the fact that "I am a joyful fool, fault"!

I do not want to achieve you a description of your inability to cope with the situation when you have to do what you seem like, does not give much pleasure and does not bring you satisfaction. I want to show you that this situation can have another explanation than your own nonsense or unsuccessfulness. This situation is only the result of many years of refusal from ourselves, unbelief in their forces and fear to withstand psychological violence, which is committed on you, perhaps at all at all in this report close to you. And at a certain period of your life, I had to adapt to such a method of manifestations of their love and refuse to be able to manifest themselves with their desires and needs, since it was equivalent to losing their love to you.

It is hard to realize that most of the life passed in the position of the victim - the victims of circumstances that did not allow you to show their abilities, the victims of a cruel team, which without pity died on your aggression, the reason for which you were not, but the opportunity for this was a suitable, victim Self-masted chiefs who absolutely cannot accept the human appearance and enter your life situation.

It is not only hard to realize, but even harder to get rid of it, because for this you have to change some of your familiar plants and "get out of the comfort zone" in which you are. What is the comfort zone? After all, you are all bad and it does not suit you very much! And such that this situation is already understandable to you, and the main thing you already have an excuse for your current situation and a state, and this is the most terrible comfort zone. Understanding and explanation is what prevents abandoning the usual behaviors. After all, unknown worse thanthat it is unpredictable and there is no familiar reactions that will help her survive. And the usual reaction is fatigue, headache, nausea, tremor. And these symptoms are very clear how to treat - tablets, tests, power change, diet rest, etc.

Yes, I agree with you that all this will become less if you can discuss all this, pronounce loud in a conversation with someone and to hear it and understand. Psychotherapy is generally based on verbal development of problems. And this conversation for souls are needed primarily to you, so as an interlocutor, I would recommend you a specialist psychological profile - a psychologist, psychotherapist, because then from this conversation you will not have a relief, and also a new understanding of yourself and your needs, revaluation His features and life facilities. Look back, you will definitely have such specialists around you. And if you can not stop on some of your locality, now this feature is available on the Internet. Skype, online consultation in other communication systems now can provide you with invaluable support, especially since your problem has real decision And you can change your life at any time, there would be a desire and opportunity, by the way, usually the opportunity always appear for this kind of work, since your desire is broadcast by space and it comes to the aid.

• I want and afraid to work

  I envy people who have a job! Even when they complain about their work, when they scold their colleagues and bosses, I still feel myself a complete insignificance next to them. Why am I afraid to work?

  What is worse: bad work or no work?

  Here is lucky to people! They have work, it makes sense in life, there are earnings in the end. After all, the earnings are this, for what we go to work. So?

  Although something tells me that not in the money happiness. Working people look more confident, cheerful, energetic than unemployed. And I'm afraid to start working ... I want and I can not! I have a panic fear to go to work. Maybe fear can not cope with work will passif you take up the simplest? I sometimes think that I am on the side of the road. How would I like to feel that it is not so!

  How to overcome the fear of new work

  Everyone who has come across a similar problem and decided it, have their recipes how to overcome the fear of new work. But will you help you someone else's experience? After all, we are all different, and what is suitable for one may be completely useless for the other. Moreover, the "good" tips can also harm. A man who says: "I am afraid to look for a job," "I'm afraid to go working," already has serious problems. Unprofessional attempts to help him can aggravate the situation.

  We are different and fears of all different

  "I'm afraid to go to work," says man. And what about these words? Everyone understands it through himself. "That's if I were so afraid, then, probably, because ..."

  Congenital susceptibility to one or another fear of all people are different. And most importantly: speaking about the same fear, different people Meaning different things. This is known to anyone who has passed the training on system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan.

  Training is psychological helpwhich you apply for yourself. Training Yuri Burlan is given through the Internet online. To enter the webinar, just indicate your name and city. This facilitates the participation of those who, among other things, the fear of the new team. During the training, you can ask your questions in writing, and the master will announce the answers to them. But be prepared for the fact that someone will be ahead of you and ask your question for you. After all, we just think that our problems are unique. "This is just I am afraid to change / lose work, and no one else." At the training you will learn that you are not original with your fears. But the reasons for fears can really have their own. Training will teach you to analyze your feelings and independently recognize the causes of fears.

  Know the reasons - get rid of symptoms

  Fears related to work, like all other fears, have deep roots hidden in our psyche. Any fear is related to our innate properties, characteristics of character. Having learned my characteristics, a person reveals the reasons for his fear and gets a huge relief already from this. Take, for example, fear before the bosses. It is not even not that the past training now knows how to overcome the fear of the boss in its particular case. The effect obtained at the training of Yuri Born is much more significant. You just at some point you realize that I stopped experiencing this fear. You suddenly catch yourself on what you communicate with the boss calmly, confidently, and most importantly - inside there is no tension, there is no taking stupor that was before and spoiled.

  "I'm afraid to change the job," the fear of change said

  Self different reasons May be hidden behind the same fears, for example, related to work. "I want to change the job but I'm afraid," many can say so.

  Some are afraid of change in life. All anything, just not change! They even rearrange furniture - stress. These are people with an anal vector, indecisive, get used to a new place for a very long time, to a new team.

  For other, skin lovers are novelty, there are no problems to change something. On the contrary, changes are excited! In their case, the fear of changing the work has completely different reasons, especially with a good salary. Fear of material losses can hold these people in unloved work.

  

  The third category is people with an auditorial vector, which are generally subject to fear of all others. Possessing a rich imagination, they any minor event can inflate to incredible sizes and scare themselves without real reasons.

  Take your place in life - this is what the main thing!

  Man must work. Work is more than just making money. When we work, we are implementing ourselves in society, and it gives us a good psychological state, the joy of life.

  And what if you hate your job? Answer: change job.

  "Yes, I want to change the work, but I'm afraid that everything will be the same." Then you urgently need to train Yuri Burlan! Here you will learn amazing things. It turns out that each of us is already born prepared for a certain type of activity. Nature itself took care that we enjoy work, and not suffered.

  Take your place in life, that's the main thing! Learn to recognize at first sight: What is yours, and what you do not fit in any case. You can not imagine how close you are to very simply decision Many problems! Sign up for free input, and you will learn about yourself as stunning things that you will regret why they did not know about it before.

  One press of the mouse can change everything! http://www.yburlan.ru/training/

  You can become one of those lucky ones who have already improved their lives:

  "I became completely independent of my parents, I myself provide myself, and this is such a buzz! Quite by chance I found a job in the sphere of my dreams and I want to develop there))) I feel that I live, every day in a good mood I fly and I charge everyone with a positive)) I all say so, are you always in a good mood, how so?) ))) "

  "At work, I suddenly ceased to be afraid of the authorities, I began to understand him. I'm no longer afraid to go to the office to the director to find out what he wants from me "

Fear of work (ergophobia) deprives a person with social realization and financial independence. The ergophobe is afraid to take additional responsibility at work, the messenger of the opportunity to show talents. Tested strong stress When communicating with the authorities and colleagues. With severe form of disorder, a person does not even find the strength to go to the interview and get a job. The situation is aggravated if relatives and friends look at Ergofoba with a urbar, believing that the problem is in banal laziness.

It is necessary to identify the true causes of psychological discomfort associated with the work process and its search, and to work with them. As a rule, fear of work is a symptom of social alarming disorder. That is, Ergofoba scares not the need to work, but unpleasant social situations in which you can get on the interview or in the process of work.

For the words "I am afraid to get a job" fears may hide:

• estimates of their personality and abilities;
• get a failure, be rejected;
• to hear uncomfortable questions practiced at stress interviews.

For complaints, "I'm afraid to work" fears are:

• to be subordinate to someone;
• do not take care of the team;
• do not justify the assigned expectations.

Turn the process of interviewing in the routine. If you pass the interview for the first time in my life or after a long break in labor activityYour excitement is quite understandable. Try to go through interviews in those firms that you really do not want to work. No binding to the result will help cope with excitement. The experience of unsuccessful interviews will help you learn how to cope with the refusal, successful - will raise self-esteem.

If you are suitable for the work of your dream, remind yourself that everything that is done is for the better. Remember stories successful peoplewho achieved the desired far from the first attempt. For example, the film actor hit Ledger failed the samples on the main role in the film "Batman: the beginning", but eventually played in the continuation of the film-anchorist's film and was awarded the Oscar. If it were not for failure, he would not get his star role.

Observe the task for small goals. Do not think far down. Here you need to call and agree on the interview. Take the phone and call. IN this moment It doesn't matter whether you will take you to work or not. You just need to make a call and agree on the meeting. At each stage, focus at the present moment. This focus significantly reduces the level of anxiety, because your thoughts are focused on the current task, and not a possible failure.

Therapy

Unless you manage to cope with the fear of work, you need working with a psychologist. It is possible to conduct it and online at a psychologist-hypnologist

You probably met people who work in one place for 10-15 years, and clearly do not want to change the situation. It seems that conditions are no longer suitable, and the salary does not allow to feed the family, and something prevents the search for a new job.

And someone at all can not start. University or maternity leave For a long time behind, it's time to go to work, but for some reason it is not going. Houses are calmer, warmer, more comfortable, no one cares, no need to fight for a place under the sun. Someone yes proactivity.

Not everyone is aware that this is the fear of new work or fear of work at all that "I'm afraid to work" in this case determines the disadvantage in their lives. Or maybe you also feel about people who say: "I want to change the work but I'm afraid"?

How to overcome the fear of new work? When new scares

And after all, there is a completely different example in front of the eyes, when the ear and mobile representatives of humanity are changing work almost every month in search of the best share. For some reason they have no fear before work. They even enjoy this process. And they are always taken, despite the fact that in the level of professionalism they are not suitable for you at the notes.

And even though you know a real professional, and you know your business and bring to perfection, but for some reason they are not confident and afraid to go working. It is generally difficult for you to change something in your life. After all, it is not known what awaits you in a new place. And how many fears are immediately falling on you! This is the fear of the boss, and the fear of the new team. "I'm afraid to lose job", "I'm afraid to change the job", "I'm afraid to look for work" ... it seems to you that there is no exit from this deadlock.

And if suddenly it happened that all the same work you changed, it starts new wave Insecurity: "I'm afraid to start working," "I'm afraid to work" ... That there are fears of failure to cope with the work. What is the pleasure of such life?

How to overcome the fear of new work? To understand your properties!

According to system-vector psychology, fear of going to work inherent in people with certain mental properties. On the one hand, it is very good specialists, experts of your business. They work carefully, clean, slowly. Always "on excellent." On the other hand, they are hardly starting a new thing, tend to be attached to traditions, templates, times and forever managed about. These are people of past experience. They are frightened by all new. New work is always a big stress and a huge challenge for them.

At the heart of their feeling "I'm afraid to go to work" lies the fear of becoming disgraced. They love to do everything right, completely and very much do not like to make mistakes. So who really "one time will measure and will cherish one time." But when these people do not realize their properties and do not implement their potential, they begin to "death", so nothing "cut off". That's where it begins: "I am afraid to look for a job, I am afraid to change the work." I'm afraid to work - I'm afraid to live!

How to overcome fear before work and gain self-confidence

Is it possible to get rid of such indecision? After all, this situation deprives a person happiness to implement his best qualities. And this is a painful blow to the fate of any adult member of society. Instead of feeling a full-fledged citizen, reliable family man, able to feed the family, he lies on the sofa and is angry at the whole world.

Get rid of fear before work, as in general, from any fears, uncertainty, inability to take the first step is guaranteed to train at the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. There are numerous reviews of those who passed it. After training, people find their place in life and begin to enjoy work.

Fragments of reviews of people who have passed training:

"I am on education linguist, teacher foreign languages... Very often, when I needed to express my thoughts in a simple relaxed form, I came up on the difficulties of not only a training character, i.e. Insufficiency of knowledge or skills, and also on a strange sense of their personal insufficiency and inferiority. It hurt me very much in dealing with native speakers.

If I did a mistake or did not know something, then I had a strong tension inside. I thought I would look very stupid, and if something depends on me, then I was all starting to curse in the worst case, but in the best flattened. Many people have told me that the academic knowledge of languages \u200b\u200bI have very good, but to realize these knowledge, having in view of the colloquial (speech) competence, I was all the time to be completely unveiled.

I tried to work in firms, in such, where there are not very strong demands or an enterprise, where I was arranged by the relationship, but all such work did not bring me great satisfaction. I believed that I was capable of more, but inside something constantly hurt. Some kind of hard, the bad comes some opinions, judgment that I am not good enough that I have not enough knowledge and experience that I will not pay well enough, since I am not targeted.

After training on the system-vector psychology, Yuri Burlan, first after free trainings, and then reinforcing free skin and anal lectures by a full course, I had some kind of regrouping of installations and efforts inside my creature. I decided that in my place I can explain and teach people no worse than others ... And so it came out that my inner critics-cockroaches found a sudden death ... I suddenly felt that I could safely communicate with foreigners, even if I could I do not know and unable to express, and do not feel the graceful feeling of guilt from your incompetence. " (Pavel Shirmanov)

"I want to change the job but I'm afraid." "How to overcome the fear of the boss?"

All these are the problems of one order. For incomprehensible reasons we run in life. Why this is so and what can be done with this, it is already versed at one of the first free introductory lectures. And during the four-hour lesson, many important awareness, changing life for the better, occur. Therefore, it is not necessary to postpone the decision of the solar problem for the future. Click here and register for free online lectures. Start laying your way to real professionalism, higher implementation and success in your life!

The article is written using the training materials on the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

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