What if you do not want to communicate. "I do not want to communicate with anyone": apathy. Causes of appearance, resentment, psychological fatigue, tips and recommendations of psychologists

We helped us:

Marina Veshkov
Psychologist

Marianna Volkova
Practitioner psychologist, Family and Individual Psychology Specialist

Elena Kuzhev
Psychologist

Marina Merkova
Family psychotherapist

Afraid of condemnation

You have not been 15 for a long time, but the feeling that the native person (parents, grandmother, older brother) makes your life unbearable, does not let go. All your attempts to establish communication did not lead to anything. No matter why: maybe this very relative is just an emotional rapist and does not want to negotiate, but wants to spoil your life. Or just a bad character and hard fate of a person, and you bother at night in a pillow, trying to understand what is to blame. It is important that you would be much happier, interrupting or reducing communication to a minimum.

However, the fear of condemnation crosses all the arguments of the mind. After all since childhood, I hear what to swear with relatives is bad. Because there is nothing more important than the familyAnd friends and others come with them and go. In the end, what will people think?

What to do: "Speech in such cases is about the observance of personal borders, - I am sure the family psychotherapist Marina Merina. - You can run away from our relatives for the thirty lands, but the voltage will still remain. Therefore, first you need to hear yourself without closing your eyes to your own discomfort, and finally choose who is more expensive to you: you or all those people who "say something."

It is impossible to please everyone, therefore a person who puts himself a similar task - in a trap. Such a lifestyle deprives joy, strength and health. He originates, as a rule, where a person has been taught from childhood to be "such as necessary" and inspired that "not such, wrong, he is not needed."

Remind yourself that you are no longer a helpless kid. For a child, it is deadly scary to get the rejection of those whom he loves and depends on. But you grew up. AND if someone grieves your behavior, then, most likely, neither you nor upset from this will die. Mildly, but confidently explain that you, of course, relatives, but this situation does not suit you anymore. Get ready for resistance - usually the behavior "I even erase me" really like someone who practices him, and so just your close to him will not refuse him. You still can not be good for everyone, and in this situation someone has to show no equiforms to you, and this someone is most likely - you are. "

Turn it

This is generally the most popular justification for those who suffer and a husband-despot, and a rude neighbor. There is a lot of different "necessary", which are performed without thinking about who needed and, in fact, for what. We must definitely get married, build a dizzying career, go around the world. One of these "it is necessary" the very familiar friendship with new relatives and "friends of friends", as well as with their second half. The usual neutral-respectful attitude and polite conversations are not suitable for rare meetings. It is friendship.

And it does not matter that husbands and friends we choose for general interests, mutual sympathy and other compatibility, and all the others are included, which are what. AND mutual love may not work out. Or will mutual dislike. Simply put, you are not ready to rush with them and do not want, but you continue to do a good mine at bad game, supporting yourself with arguments: "We are one family," "I was so brought up" and "everyone is doing."

What to do: "If you dig deep," the psychologist Marina Veshkova argues, "then the program" so necessary "is pre-installed by us since childhood. This behavior was characterized by the generation of our grandmothers and mothers, and we were inherited. And if you look at the surface, then this is the most common attempt to take control of the opinion around you. You are selflessly friends with the nearest surroundings of an expensive person, in this way trying to say: "I'm good, I do everything right."

But try to listen to your desires and determine which way to communicate with these people you fits most. Do not be afraid to fantasize, lose such a way to yourself and trace what emotions and feelings you will call.

However, it is not worth a deception: if a certain "I do not want" is found, it will have to legalize, that is, to admit at least myself. Thus it will be easier to understand that you do not need such communication. "

Your rights

To all those who like to suffer a feeling of guilt, it is useful to keep the "right of self-confident person" (from Bill on the psychological rights of the individual - an informal document developed by the American Association of Psychologists).

1. Each person has the right to assess his own behavior, thoughts, feelings and responsible for them.
2. Each person has the right to not justify and not explain to others their actions.
3. Everyone has the right to refuse to respond to a request, without feeling the feelings of guilt, and he himself decides whether he wants to take responsibility for solving other people's problems.
4. Each person has the right to change its decisions.
5. Each person has the right to ignorance, to accept illogical decisions, not to be perfection.

Afraid offended

Perhaps you yourself and do not want to gently be friends with distant relatives and husbands of friends, but others are waiting for you. Those who you love and do not want to offend. For example, your man. You apply a lot of effort, trying to be good for everyone, but in the end you are constantly nervous and already they are offended by him - for the fact that close person You do not understand, does not see how you feel bad in the presence of his mother. Such a situation may well end to spoiled relations, for whom you tried so hard. Some call it the female wisdom, which, however, is accepted to cover anything, starting with fear to change his life for the better and ending with frank stupidity.

What to do: Marianna Volkova, a practicing psychologist, a specialist in family and individual psychology, advises: "Understand that all your" victims "in the name of universal calm absolutely in vain. While you are silent, others are sure that everything is in order, and if one day you will try to present your suffering as a kind of feat, you will most likely just do not understand. Agree, it is strange to do what you do not want, and at the same time be silent.

Sooner or later you will just explode and throw out everything that has accumulated for for a long timewithout controlling emotions. At the same time, the truth will not be on your side: after all, if you did not show out discontent before, it means you all satisfied. And suddenly - an unexpected scene. As a result, you risk to choose unbalanced hysterical.

The best way out will be a direct conversation, but not based on the person of an unpleasant person, but on your own feelings and emotions. Compromise can always be found, but any compromise begins with a frank conversation" It is possible that the one whom you are so afraid to offend, really try to be offended. If close persistently refuses to listen to you and your desires, it remains just to put it before the fact and remind you that you are also a living person and have the right to psychological comfort.

Dangerous for health

The ability to think about the feelings of loved ones and the desire to see them happy and satisfied with respect for respect. But if you forget about your emotions and comfort, such psychological "long-suffering" threatens nervous disorders and, as a result, various diseases.

Psychologist Elena Kuzeva does not doubt: "If you noticed the peculiarity of" to endure and forgive ", and at the same time, psychosomatic diseases are peculiar to you, better decision It will take advice to an experienced specialist. You need emotional support and help in developing the ability to build borders in communication, plus you need to deal with the effort long years protective mechanisms. And it is not always easy to do alone. "

Used to communicate

You communicate with a colleague since the times that no one in the team does not remember. But how many years have passed - and you have no common interests. Or, moreover, you have become uncomfortable - instead of the usual joy, you only experience irritation. It would seem that everything is obvious: Communication must be folded or cut to infrequent meetings with conversations about the weather and nature. But in fact, everything is not so cloudless.

What to do: "If you didn't just dealt with the opinions, and you actually experience negative emotions, communicating with a person, it is better to gradually reduce contact for no," said Marianna Volkova. - Over time, people change, and perhaps you are really no longer along the way. Of course, it's a shame to refuse the friend with whom he spent so much time. But often we are afraid of losing not the person himself, and communication as a ritual who accompanied every stage of our life. "

Such relationships can often be compared with many years of marriage, in which the feelings turned into a habit. To interrupt them, most likely, it will be a pity and hurt. In this case, it helps to think about the feelings of the opponent. Man After all, sincerely believes that everything is as before, and seeks to communicate. So even from respect to your many years of friendship - stop pretending that all okay. You have 2 options: either honestly confess in your feelings, or carefully minimize communication before the level in which you feel comfortable. The main thing is not to try to close the eye on the situation.

If you do not want to communicate with you

And what if you turned out to be in any of the above situations in any of the above situations, but on the other side of the barricades? "When you suddenly refuse to communicate, you, most often, you begin to dig in yourself and look for reasons," Marianna Volkov reflects. - Because you can not understand how you - such a good and did not make anything bad - ignore.

You can, of course, make yourself notify yourself and close people endless "Why?". You can even arrange a full-time bet and try to call a person who does not take you to a frank conversation. But in this case, you risk at least to put yourself, and the opponent in an inconvenient position. As a maximum - provoke a conflict, without which you both could easily do. Best of all, of course, leave the right to choose the right to choose with whom and how to communicate. "

How to adjust

In fairness It is worth saying that it is not always realistic to break all contacts with an unpleasant person. It is unlikely that you can openly say the boss that you don't want to see him anymore and all the working questions now - by corporate mail. You have to look for a way to adjust. Suppose a citizen does not personally make you anything bad, but at the same time it is terribly annoying. You are looking for a hook, but you do not see her - just infuriates, and that's it.

"If you feel irritating in the society of a certain person without any visible reason, it would be worthwhile to understand yourself," Elena Kuzeva hints. - Perhaps unhappy at all of nothing. You can find that he resembles another person from the past, with which unpleasant emotions are connected. Or you feel next to him your inferiority in any area. You may have had any expectations regarding him, and they were not justified. After identifying and aware of the causes of irritation, unpleasant emotions can completely disappear. "

If you understand perfectly perfectly, it is withdrawing you out of themselves, it remains to try to minimize the damage. Marianna Volkova advises each meeting with an unpleasant person is to relate, as, for example, to a hike to a dentist - so-so joy, but necessary. "It is very helpful to the awareness of the fact that from you two nervous cells spend only you. And he does not care about what he annoys you. "

Girls, you happen that you do not want to communicate with some particular person? Or sometimes at all almost with anyone? I have here.

I must say, by nature I am still sociable. Only there are different cases, circumstances, condition, mood. Sometimes I think about how many factors on us, people affect, and already becomes bad! In these moments it seems to me that we are very, very vulnerable, fragile.

Only life dictates their rules. Sometimes it is necessary to obey them, and not to their "want".

If a man is unpleasant

My happiness, such people are not a crowd. But there are somewhat nevertheless. I do not want to say that they are bad or something like that. Not. Even if they are unpleasant to me, it's rather, my problem than them.

I am fine myself I give a report in that I can not like everything, and I also can't be pleasant to everyone. I also understand that there are no "villains" and "white and fluffy". More precisely, they may have, but these are rare cases. And otherwise we all have our good and bad character traits.

With some people my communication is forced. Of course, you can not talk, for example, with the boss. Will it just long to last in place with such behavior? Therefore, you want to do not want.

There is no such concern. I just forcing myself. I do not want to ignore a person who may not even understand what's the matter. I think it is wrong. Therefore, I found another way out for myself. I call this reception royal)))

This I refer to the royal family and other high-ranking persons who cannot afford to show displeasure. They are always polite, friendly, but at the same time will never spread about something really personal. I decided to adopt this behavior for such cases as described.

Just spring ...

There are still quite different cases. For example, as now. Spring. The weather is constantly changing, and I am meteo-dependent. I have accumulated fatigue from work and some unresolved so far.

I must say, I perfectly understand that the people around here are not to blame. Only to me at some days I don't want to see anyone, except for my husband, well, and moms. Such a state of mollusk. I want to climb into your sink and do not stick out)))

I know perfectly well that this condition will pass. But while it is, you need to do something with him. Therefore, when friends are addressed for advice, help, just with communication, I am somewhat "breaking" and do what you need to do.

I think, friends for the same need, so that at a difficult moment to turn to them, and not to someone else's people. And sometimes one conversation can be helped by a person, dispel his doubts about something or drive a longing sadness. In short, I do not allow myself at all to close even in it hard for me in a psychological plan.

How do you think?

As for me, each situation and every person require an individual approach. I try to reason and act on the conclusions made.

How do you think you need? How do you do in such cases?

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The descriptions of this state of the residence are both everyday and scientific: "Everything around the opposite", "I don't want to see anyone", "poisoning by people", "I physically I cannot communicate with anyone." It happens to you? When you go out, and there is a horror: passersby a hundred times more than in China! You appear in the office - and colleagues, as if conspirable, jerked you, impose communication, without end require attention. You want to take a break from tedious conversations - so there is no way: the begging phone tube scores and scores your head by annoying voices ... I would soon escape from this crowd. Scroll to Nora. And "feel kindness as bliss" - thanks to Ahmadulina for the poetic interpretation of the medical term "syndrome emotional burnout».

Signs of emotional burnout:
. I do not want to see anyone, hear, to communicate with anyone.
. Interest fatigue.
. "Burning" head, migraine, nausea.
. Insomnia Against the background of excitement: the state is "so tired that there is no strength to fall asleep." Unwillingness to wake up in the morning.
. Emotional devastation (sensation of "squeezed lemon").
. Symptoms of asthenization: rapid heartbeat, extended pupils,
Skin pallor.
. Irritability, impatience.
. Loss of the ability to make decisions.
. Feeling disappointment in the selected activity.
. The aggravation of chronic diseases.

Emotional cannibalism
The scientific term "Burnout" ("Emotional burnout") in 1974 came up with and introduced into circulation to the American psychologist Fredeburg. Actually, the psychologist did not invent anything, just his patients with the description of his state so often used the phrase "I was buried, the soul - ashes" that Fredebeher remained only to give the metaphor diagnosis status. And the emotional burnout syndrome "went to the people." At first, this diagnosis was set to everyone who had characteristic signs "Exhaustion from communication." Patients very colorfully described their experiences - "The surrounding eat me on a piece, drink my energy, devour my emotions" - and complained about fatigue, feeling of powerlessness, depletion, frequent headaches, insomnia. The disorder was loudly dubbed in the accuracy editions of "emotional cannibalism" and declared the inevitable psychological evil of our time: after all, communication, the main culprit of all the troubles, is literally present in everything we do - whether it is a relationship with relatives or professional activities.
Time passed, and experts, distributing a dedicated diagnosis to the right and left, were made up. Something noted: at work you need to sweat, but do not burn
The entry "Burnout" flashed in medical records and malicious Misanthropov, and tired of the parent soldiers the young ladies, and confused love relationship Men, and dragged by the capricious children of mammies, and even psychopaths, from time to time we have the desire to "take in the hands of the machine and all of them!" The listed patients undoubtedly had problems, but they were associated with different reasons And they concerned communication with specific people, and not communication as such in general. Psychologists and psychiatrists looked at diagnosis "Emotional burnout" Careful.
It turned out that many complained to "intoxicating communication" there is one common feature: their professional success was directly depended on the quality and number of communication with other people. And the diagnosis of "emotional burnout syndrome", leaving the medical card of housewives, drivers, jewelers, etc., moved to the discharge of disorders referred to in psychology professional deformation. Namely, he became an annoying prerogative of those who are forced to communicate closely with people. IN risk group hit (according to the degree of reducing the likelihood of emotional burnout): psychotherapists, teachers, journalists, leaders of all ranks, including managers, as well as nurses, governess, doctors, nurses and others. Surrence of emotional cannibalism experts began to call "burning" or "burnt" - depending on the severity of the disorder.

Disgust and hatred
A few years ago, the American National Institute of Health and Professional Safety Problems has published data from which it follows that all over the world from 40 million people suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, two thirds are most likely struck by the non-chronic fatigue, but the clinical form "Burnout" . And the main reason for their malaise is not so much professional overload, avral, stress, non-corrupted working day, fear of losing work and the fear of being incompetent (all of the above is a launch mechanism for chronic fatigue), how much suspension with contacts with other people - What is called, for the score. The situation is a dead end: after all, it is in communication and consists of the essence of the professional activity of those who, because of emotional burnout, no longer able to say - even see their customers or partners. The drunk trap "I can not communicate, but I can not communicate" a man is experiencing strong stress. The overwork is intermitted with irritation - up to the attacks of the so-called office rabies, when people splash on colleagues or customers unmotivated aggression. According to research of British sociologists, each second employee at least once, yes fell in his workplace in uncontrolled rabies. However, unmotivated aggression is the last degree of emotional burnout. Fortunately, "Burnout" sneaks to a man. So, we have time to understand what is happening, and do not afford you to burn the duck.

The first stage of chronic fatigue syndrome is "emotional deficit". Work that has recently brought pleasure, causes disgust. The doctor understands that he no longer wants to help his patients, the teacher - that he is sick of only one thought about the upcoming lecture, the journalist reduces the cheekbones from the need to agree on an interview. "The burning" make an unpleasant discovery: the usual situations in which they are easy, and most importantly - effectively interacted with people, for some reason they became difficult. Victims of burnout are increasingly and more often allowed, fulfilling the simplest professional duties. There is a rapidity, irritability: "Why should I endure them all? I'm not iron! ".

In the second stage of "emotional removal" A person includes psychological protection, putting a barrier among himself and those with whom he should work. "If you are not going anywhere, I will stop paying attention to you," you can describe the mood of the "burning". Emotions are indispensable, nothing is positive nor negative circumstances - does not cause a mental response. The person turns into a soulless robot, and this, of course, does not remain unnoticed for partners or customers. They are perplexed, offended, sometimes even cut through contacts. At this stage, the quality of the work of the "burning" begins to decline significantly.

Many would get rid of emotional burnout at the initial stages if
I would not admit to management in your state. A few timeouts in the form of
Vacation or business trips help restore the emotional resource.

Question to a psychologist:

Hello! In my life there is only work and parents with whom I live. As well as a dog. At work, everything is fine, I am pleased to build a career, I easily communicate with people, I decide the task, I show emotions ... That is, I have no problems with communication, there are no fears or uncertainties .. I have always had friends, and now there is now. .. But I no longer want to communicate with anyone .. although I really love to communicate .. And I always have something to say, tell, discuss, and so on .. however, it was tired of adapting to people what .. or maybe arguing about Tom "What I need, and what is not", "What I am to marry" or something else .. any personal conversation ends negative emotions for me. Whether people do not want to understand me, or I stopped seeking to understand them ... Sometimes I want to go to live in some wilderness with your dog and spend alone with you the rest of the days in search of harmony. The same with men. Earlier, I really needed a relationship .. Now I am even too lazy to start communication - I know how it will end (misunderstanding, incompatibility, tears and parting, well, not now after a year, 10 years, 20 years .. does not matter). On the one hand, I want to have a socially adequate status, give birth to children and "be like everyone else", on the other hand - not to go out for the first oncoming! I do not need compromises. If a person does not understand me, then this is not my man, and there is nothing to break it, adjust .. I want to communicate, but with a "native soul", be it a girlfriend, or a man .. But, alas, I have been many years old I did not meet ... And I think there are all the chances that I will spend one of my life alone, I even will be ready for this morally, since I have already decided - I will be either happy or alone. But it scares a little .. Do I turn into an old girl with mental disabilities? Is it normal at all? What is the reason for what is happening? Is it worth going against your condition and try to talk further with friends, go somewhere, get acquainted and try to build relationships? Or is there anything terrible in what is happening?

The psychologist Varaksin Evgenia Vasilyevna is responsible for the question.

Hello Irina!

Thanks for your letter. Let's try to answer the questions you have.

The first thing I would like to draw attention to this contradiction in your letter (why is it important? - Because they reflect contradictions in your life). You write: "I always had friends, and now there is ..." And at the same time, "I want to communicate, but with a" native soul ", be it a girlfriend, or a man .. But, alas, I haven't been here for many years I met ... "And" any personal conversation end with negative emotions for me. " Another point: You ask in the letter a lot of questions aimed at understanding yourself, your condition, and at the same time write "I don't need compromises. If a person does not understand me, then this is not my person, and there is nothing to break it, to adapt .." .

Can you say that you understand yourself 100%? Most probably not. The process of self-knowledge is endless. But if so, then you can demand a complete understanding of yourself from another person. You are not ready for compromise. And whether you are ready for full responsibility for uncompromising. Please imagine your life in a year: you are increasingly narrowing the range of personal communication, close and completely find mutual understanding. Imagine your whole life in detail: work, parents, dog. Now imagine your life in five years, now in 30-40 years, when parents are no longer next to you. If everything suits you, why not: each person has the right to choose his destiny. If something in this representation seemed to you not comfortable, there is a time to change the model of the future until it has become real.

Communication with people is a very subtle thing, in it we learn the art of equilibrium: it is exactly so as far as other is capable of assessing and maintaining it; say without saying too much; Understand yourself across the other, see your qualities in the mirror. Refusing to communicate, we lose a lot of opportunities for development.

If others annoy you what you know, "what you need, and what is not", and "what you can marry" - it is possible to see the reflection of its uncompromising in this. These people are also uncompromising in understanding the right and happy lifeBut do you like it? You are right that often people think traditionally and try to impose their life experience And the path to others and often even unconsciously want to make repeat their mistakes and be the same unhappy. But why is it annoying you so much? You can understand what is happening why people say it, and do not let it in themselves - "like with a goose water" - why are you upset from such conversations? And "any personal conversation ends with negative emotions"? You do not have to repeat other scenarios and someone else's life (all the more often not very happy).

Now you are inherent in the vision of life as black and white, or or. Or stay alone for life, or "go out for the first counter". Both the one and the other option is the extreme, and the extremes are dangerous (as temperature drops from -40 to +40 - no asphalt will endure without damage, which is to talk about man). Overviewing this logic, it is necessary or not to work at all, or to go to the perfect work: with the wise boss, a friendly team, a high salary, great release; Or do not wear anything at all, or dress the best dress in the world ... Then another question: do you yourself meet perfect work? For example, you do not understand and do not seek to understand people, but on perfect work - a friendly team. Do you understand what I mean?

In principle, all you write rightly: native soul, complete mutual understanding. Lack of disappointments. Do you only apply this? What complete understanding can we talk about if you stop you want to understand other people? The more we want, the more we need to work. Are you ready for such work? After all, so that the partner does not disappoint, it is necessary to be able to be able to disappoint another one. First you need to demand yourself, only then we have the right to want it from another. Are you able to understand another person completely? Then you can safely want it from the other. Rating 4.99 (46 votes)

Greetings, my dear readers! Recently, one of my girlfriend said that the daughter approached her with a question: why do not want to communicate with me? Girl welcoming and cute, but contact with people is given hard. Today I would like to talk about why familiar can avoid communicating with you, what are the standard options for mutual hostility and what to do with it, how to place people.

External factors

I want to start S. external reasonsWhy people may not want to communicate with you.

We had a boy in school, from which he constantly smelled. Odnoklassniki managed him by the party, the girls have fun at him and no one wanted to sit next to him in the lessons. Yes, children cruel, no one could directly tell him that it smells badly. But in adulthood, with such a phrase, you are hardly suitable. And the smell of meanwhile plays a very important role in communication.

If from person it is impossible to strongly smells with garlic, onions or other flavors, then it becomes impossible to stand next to him, especially in the heat.

Start with your appearance. Drain, take a look in the mirror. Many people unpleasantly communicate with untidy and inaccurate people. Dirty, blurred nails, shoes in mud lumps, breathing clothes, dirty head. All this repels.

If you notice that people try to bypass you and are not fit too close, I recommend starting with appearance. Look at yourself from the side. After all, it is all possible to put in order, get rid of unpleasant odors, Carnate clothes, bring nails and hair into the proper look.

Do not be discouraged and do not hang nose. There is no such situation from which there would be no exit. Especially in appearance. Everything is fixable!

Internal factors

In appearance, everything is perfect? You are good, even tasty, smells, you always follow the shoes, the nicknogle is clean and neatly trimmed. What is the problem then?

If the problem is not in appearance, then we are looking for repulsive moments in your behavior. One of my friend constantly cracked. On any phrase, he gave out a completely inappropriate joy. No one wanted to offend him, so over time they simply communicated less with him. And I did not stand in my time and explained to him all the stupidity and the inappropriateness of such jokes in communication. He listened.

Maybe you, like my friend, do you like to joke at any successful and unsuccessful case? Remember, humor is good and great. But he should not be vulgar and frozen, should approach the time (the road is a spoon to dinner) and should not insult anyone.

My client has a girl at work, which constantly fussing his nose in other people's affairs and certainly gives advice. She acts as a kind of guru, which can find a solution for any situation. Only, no one asks these tips.

If you like to distribute tips, then boot the blog in which you will describe situations and offer solutions. In life, act differently. Only when you are asked to express your opinion, only then open your mouth and let the advice.

Narcissism and the focus on themselves scare away people. No one likes to communicate with people who are constantly talking about themselves. We want us to pay attention to, asked questions, were interested in our lives.

There was one guy with us at the institute, which only did that she bragled with his success or complained about his failures. He constantly interrupted if it came to someone else.

Each participant of the conversation deserves equal attention.

If you have such an opportunity, ask your friends to record a general meeting on the video. After all, sometimes it is impossible to evaluate your behavior. But look at yourself from the side on the screen it is extremely useful.

Maybe you are too gesticulating and it bothers others, or shy during a conversation, or really talk only about yourself.

Pattern couple

There is such a thing as the prevailing stereotypes. Mother-in-law and son-in-law, daughter-in-law with mother-in-law, former spouses, new wife and ex-wife etc. They compose anecdotes, winged expressions, proverbs and sayings. Of course, there are cases when everyone lives in peace and harmony, but it happens that people without visible reasons They simply hate because it is as followed by their status to each other.

One of my client is wonderful communicating with all your former partners. Once, she caught her man with another young lady. She did not arrange a scandal or tantrum. She just talked calmly and said they were time to part. Woman always tries to stay in good relationship With former, because a long, or not very long, time they were happy together.

Elementary rules of communication

Remember that everything is fixable. Today, people shake out of you and do not want to communicate, but you should work a little over yourself and you will become a soul of the company. Let's talk about ordinary principles that must be adhered to communication.

Friendly and friendliness. More often smile. Be polite. It captures the interlocutors. Only not flattering and deliberately, but naturally and naturally. If you smile, then do not do it through force, will noticeably and scare away the interlocutor, leaving an unpleasant sediment.

Do not eat, do not humiliate others, do not enter into conflict, do not provoke the quarrel. If you feel that now beckoned something extra, leave and raise. Calm down and only then come back to the dialogue.

People love when they are called by name. Create to your comrades more often, ask questions about their life, work. And many love to tell about themselves. Use it with the mind.

Learn the etiquette rules. Behavior speaks a lot about man. Does he keep a personal distance at what point gives his hand to greet and who he serves this hand, whether the door opens up and so on.

What do you think, why don't you want to communicate with you? Causes in appearance or in your behavior? Did you meet such people with whom it is impossible to communicate long? What did they repel you from ourselves?

Work on yourself and you will definitely work out!