When does silence kill your romantic relationship? Aphorisms and quotes about silence

If you've ever been in a situation where you need to get the attention of an entire classroom or people, you must have noticed that silence is most effective.

When a teacher or speaker is silent, the audience begins to take an interest in him. The lecturer's silence sends a signal: something has happened. And the listeners will try to focus in order to understand why the communication has stopped.

This applies not only public speaking but also everyday conversations. When we are silent, people concentrate and we grab their attention.

Sometimes we say too many unnecessary words, we explain too much. If a question is met, it means that it is the best answer to it. We can also soften the harshness of the negative response with silence. By not saying no directly, we avoid being rude and verbose. Perhaps silence as an answer - the best way out out of a difficult situation.

Ludovic Hirlimann / Flickr.com

Another example: someone said something we disagree with or something that we find offensive. Restraining ourselves and keeping silent in response, we send a powerful signal: "I do not like it, I do not agree with you."

Silence uses body language

And gestures are often more expressive than words spoken aloud. Facial expressions, gestures, eye contact and tone of voice speak volumes. The ability to decode and correctly understand body language can be a powerful tool to use in everyday communication: to communicate with others and build strong relationships.

Silence Is Compassion

There are times in life when silence is tantamount to expressing empathy and signals that you understand the other person.

Sometimes correct words just doesn't exist.

Pain or grief is difficult to relieve with conversation. But to show how we care about another and worry about him is very simple with the help of silence.

Silence is courtesy

We are constantly surrounded by information noise. on the radio and TV, music in elevators, shops and offices, notifications on smartphones and tablets ... Moreover, people around us do not calm down and constantly talk. The feeling that we must communicate for the sake of communication as such, so as not to be excluded from social life, is captivating.

We are fighting the information noise around. And when we keep our word, we frantically try to squeeze in as much information as possible in a minimum of time.

But when we are silent, we show the interlocutor that we listen to him attentively and respect every word he says.

So the silence is powerful tool which can make you a good speaker. Silence is a great power that you need to be able to use.

Practice keeping silent.

Sometimes we remain silent to protect our relationship, but often it only creates distance between partners. In a relationship, partners "play in silence" when they experience anger, frustration, or any other negative emotions towards each other.

Why you should pay attention to your partner's silence

Short periods of silence, which usually translate into regular dialogue, can be positive point... From time to time, we all need space to “clear our thoughts,” and silence helps us do that. But if these periods of silence become longer and more frequent, it is a potential catalyst for the relationship to deteriorate. The reason is that effective communication is the most an important component any successful cooperation.

1. Inattention and misunderstanding

Typical scenario: one partner feels bad about the actions of the other and speaks directly to him about it. However, in response, he receives either silence or an understatement of the problem. He is told that he misunderstood everything, or that he should not take this problem too personally. When this behavior of one of the partners becomes too frequent, and one or both partners are prone to silence, it begins to slowly destroy the relationship.

The experts provide several guidelines that can prevent communication difficulties when you decide to discuss these issues. The first recommendation is to refrain from texting to discuss the problem in your relationship. The reason is simple: text messaging cannot convey body language or intonation, which are the main ingredients. effective communication... Secondly, it is important to choose a place to talk that will not distract you. By being alone with each other without potential distractions, you increase the effectiveness of your interactions as well as stimulate eye contact. Third, you should try to practice empathy. Keep in mind that while you do not need to agree with your partner if it conflicts with your beliefs, you must show your understanding and willingness to engage in conversations, no matter how difficult it is.

2. Hostility

Relationship animosity is an acknowledged intimacy killer. Hostility often arises from negative actions of one partner (real or perceived as such), lack of responsibility or inaction in a situation that requires his intervention. When this behavior is repeated despite discussion problematic issues, one or both partners begin to experience quiet indignation.

To solve this problem, you should try to understand your spouse and discuss why he or she is behaving this way. Maybe your partner's behavior has a purpose that you don't know about. Ideally, a mutual agreement should be reached, which may require a compromise from both of you.

3. Sexual dissatisfaction

When one or both partners feel that their sexual needs are not being met, the topic is often hesitant to discuss. The reasons for the feeling of dissatisfaction can be different, but usually the problem appears due to insufficient frequency of intercourse or their absence.

But regardless of the reasons for the sexual dissatisfaction, it can be a serious test for a relationship. For example, if a man is faced with this problem, he may begin to consider the topic of sex taboo or unnecessary and not even try to discuss it. In addition, he may actually fear that acknowledging the problem will affect his partner's feelings.

Despite this understandable hesitation, this problem really needs a solution. Sexual intimacy is an important part of a relationship, and it can break down without a healthy sex life.

4. Implicit frustration

Frustration with the person you love is a very difficult feeling. Indeed, some relationships end because of unexpressed disappointment in others. To complicate matters further, one or both partners are reluctant to notice these feelings. As a result, they find it excruciatingly difficult to understand and articulate any disappointment with their partner.

First of all, you need to admit to yourself that your partner has disappointed you, and feel it fully before telling the other person about it. This will actually free you from the pain that will appear if you accumulate resentments and disappointments in yourself, because they all relate to the person you love.

5. Lack of trust

Lack of trust in your partner often results from betrayal or neglect on the part of a loved one in the past, and this experience carries over into a new relationship. While this lack of trust manifests itself in new relationships, it can be felt later in the form of suspicion.

Regardless of the reason, the decision not to discuss mistrust in your relationship will sooner or later lead to tensions between you. Relations are more likely to deteriorate, which can lead to a breakup.

If you are suppressing important feelings so as not to upset your partner or for some other reason, it is important to acknowledge your unmet needs and work on the problem until you find a solution. To get rid of suspicion that has arisen as a result of past experiences or traumatic events, the help of a specialist is often needed. Other times, having a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner can also help you release the jealousy and suspicion that undermine the trust in your loved one.

Silence is gold, for which someone else's silence is bought.
Lech Konopinsky

Silence is a great friend who will never change.
Confucius

Silence is such an interesting subject that you can talk about it for hours.
Jules Romain

The silence of a man is a sign of refusal, the silence of a woman is a sign of consent.
Louis Massignon

Silence is the altar of caution.
Gracian y Morales

Silence is a special art of conversation.
William Hazlitt

Silence can be the hardest accusation.
Menander

Silence is a great talent.
Fedor Dostoevsky

Silence is the virtue of fools.
Francis Bacon

Silence is golden, but sometimes it is silver.
Zbigniew Zemetsky

Silence is one of the most difficult arguments to refute.
Henry Wheeler Shaw

Silence is deep like Eternity; conversations are as small as Time.
Thomas Carlyle

Whoever cannot be silent is incapable of speaking.
Seneca

To be silent is to believe yourself.
Albert Camus

The ability to speak distinguishes people from the animal world; the ability to keep silent makes a person stand out from the world of people.
Grigory Landau

Silence is not at all a sign of soullessness. Thunders only what is empty from the inside.
William Shakespeare

Listen and be quiet.
Lucian

Learning to speak means grown up. Learned to be silent means wiser.
Bernard Show

I do not like interlocutors who now and then interrupt my reasoning with their silence.
Leszek Kumor

There is no answer more humiliating than a contemptuous silence.
Michelle Montaigne

Silence is a shield against many troubles, and chatter is always harmful. A person's tongue is small, but how many lives he has broken.
Omar Khayyam

Silence is the gloss of fools and the cunning of a sage.
Alexander Pope

He knows how to be so interesting to be silent that everyone is waiting for him to finally speak.
Slavian Trotsky

If you knew how rarely we are understood correctly, you would often be silent.
Johann Goethe

You must be able to keep silent about everything that matters only for you alone.
Philip Chesterfield

Thoughtlessness is rarely silent.
Howard W. Newton

Sometimes silence is more expressive than any speech.
Montesquieu

Silence is the wisdom of a fool.
Publius

You are better silent than you speak.
Talmud

Not the beauty of every woman is gold, but intelligence and silence.
Menander

The silent man is rarely mistaken. Only if she speaks.
Vladislav Grzheshik

Whoever has nothing to say of his own, it is better for him to be silent.
Vissarion Belinsky

Better to be reasonably silent than stupid to speak.
Publius

Truly, he is glorious and great who in anger kept his tongue.
Rasul Gamzatov

It takes a person two years to learn to speak, and sixty years to learn to keep his mouth shut.
Lyon Feuchtwanger

How difficult it is to remain silent when you are not asked.
Mikhail Genin

And a fool, when he is silent, may seem wise.
King Solomon - Proverbs 17, 28

Shut up. Keep quiet until you are able to say something that will be more useful than your silence.
Archimedes

Their silence is a loud cry.
Cicero

If you want to be silent about something, be silent first.
Seneca

Silence must be heard in its context.
Stanislav Jerzy Lec

First think three times, and then keep silent.
Henri Rainier

Silence cements speech, and timeliness cements silence.
Solon

The silence of a man known for his eloquence inspires much more reverence than the chatter of an ordinary talker.
Shamphor

The woman's silence still needs to be earned.
Tamara Kleiman

Silence is more eloquent than words.
Thomas Carlyle

People learn how to speak, and the main science is how and when to be silent.
Lev Tolstoy

The woman silently suffers from the fact that she has no one to talk to.
author unknown

If you are ill-mannered and silent, then you are brought up, but if you are brought up and are silent, then you are well educated.
Theophrastus

Silence adorns the woman.
Homer

When you have nothing to say, don't say anything.
author unknown

He who talks a lot often fails.
Lao Tzu

He who knows how to keep silent hears many confessions; for who will open to the talker and the gossip.
Francis Bacon

I know enough to keep quiet.
Thomas Fuller

Women love silent men. They think they are listening to them.
Sasha Guitri

We learn to speak from people, to be silent - from the gods.
Plutarch

When the eagles are silent, the parrots chat.
Winston Churchill

Silence is sometimes more meaningful and sublime than the noblest and most expressive eloquence, and in many cases testifies to a high intelligence.
Joseph Addison

Silence is a sign of consent of those who disagree.
Gennady Malkin

Silence is the continuation of an argument by other means.
Ernesto Che Guevara

A smart wife, while an angry husband screams and scolds, remains silent, and only when he is silent does she start a conversation with him in order to soften and calm him down.
Plutarch

Anyone who does not understand your silence is unlikely to understand your words.
author unknown

He who sows evil reaps repentance. The one who keeps silence in noisy disputes, Wiser talkers, at the word of the fast.
Saadi

The dust of dead words has stuck to you: wash your soul with silence.
Rabindranath Tagore

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says in a hadith narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with them): “ Let the one who believed in Allah and the Last Day speak good or keep silent! " (Imams Bukhari and Muslim).

The Almighty created us with two ears so that we listen more and one mouth so that we can speak less. Prophet Suleiman (peace be upon him) said: "If speech is considered silver, then silence is gold." Knowing this wisdom, a person still gives preference to chatter.

It often happens that we regret what we have said. Any of us can have such a problem. And a word spoken without thinking can play a cruel joke on us and turn against ourselves. At that time, a word that was not spoken in time can play a greater role than an unnecessary one that accidentally escaped.

So what can you do with silence?

Silence creates many meanings. It can shed light on the essence of the conversation or cover it with a veil of darkness. Correct use silence is the greatest art, a talent not given to everyone.

It was not for nothing that the Most High's Favorite (peace and blessings be upon him) spoke little and preferred silence. His silence was reflection.

Silence can be a confirmation that we are strongly interested in what the other person is saying. The ability to listen disposes of the interlocutor.

It can also show that we have good composure and will not engage in conversation that could have negative consequences.

Silence helps us understand the deeper meaning of what in question... The master of his position is the one who hears and knows how to shut up in time.

Silence keeps us from sin

Let's notice the fact that when going to talk, people very rarely talk about objects, the weather or about religion, for example. Most of the conversation is about individuals and their circumstances. We often seek to judge others and ignore what is happening in ourselves. As the saying goes, we judge others, and ourselves - lawyers.

Allah Almighty said: “ ... and do not speak evil of each other! Would any of you want to eat the meat of your dead brother ?! (After all) you feel disgusted with this! "(Surah "Al-Hujurat", ayat 12).

Maintaining such a conversation is not only bad form, but also one of the great sins.

The hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) narrated by Jabir says: “ Beware of blasphemy. Indeed, the sin of blasphemy is greater than the sin of adultery "(Ibn Abi ad-Dunya).

It will be best for a person in such situations to tactfully keep silent, showing with a gesture or facial expressions that this topic not interesting.

The chatterbox is the favorite of the shaitan

People who have nothing to say are always looking for ways to learn how to speak. Rarely do you meet a person who knows how to learn to remain silent - more often we simply do not ask this question. Meanwhile, silence can help us avoid many troubles in our life.

A person who is unrestrained in language deceives, boasts, hypocrites, speaks obscene words, argues, exalts his I, scandalizes, distorts reality, etc.

Numerous troubles come from the language. And the shaitan encourages a person to do this. And the one who is too verbose cannot hold his tongue and often, without hesitation, says whatever is horrible.

The Qur'an says (meaning):

﴿ لا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ ابْتِغَاءَ مَرْضَاةِ اللَّهِ فَسَوْفَ نُؤْتِيهِ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا ﴾

« And in most of the secret conversations of people, conversations and hidden thoughts, there is no good, because evil grows up in secret. But if their secret conversations are devoted to good deeds: alms, reconciliation of people among themselves - then this is good deed... And whoever does it in order to receive the favor of Allah and His mercy, then Allah - glory to Him Almighty! - gives a great reward in the next life and in the future ». (Meaning. Surah "an-Nisa", ayat 114).

Silence is a barrier from all evil

Each time we criticize or condemn someone, we automatically give our good deeds to the one we are talking about, taking away his sins.

Long silence is the safety of a person from many unnecessary situations in which he can get.

Silence keeps us from arguments and bickering, from curses and ridicule, from divulging secrets, from false promises, deception and much more.

Silence indicates no stupidity

Silence is reasoning, showing respect, freeing thoughts for meditation and remembrance of Allah, as well as saving oneself from unnecessary conversations. This is a sign of seriousness and wisdom. How much longer person manifests silence, so much more wisdom increases in his heart. Note that the most intelligent people are always silent. The hadith says that “ Silence is wisdom. But few people follow it. "(Al-Bayhaqi).

And if someone says that silence is not always a sign of intelligence, then let him know that silence is, at least, a sign of the absence of stupidity!

Danger of words

The source of all rumors is the person. And he, having said just one word, can rise before the Almighty on many degrees, as well as fall, causing the terrible wrath of Allah. Therefore, a person needs to weigh his words.

One man came to the sage and asked:

- Do you know what your friend told me about you?

- Wait, - the sage stopped him, - Sift first what you are going to say through three sieves.

- Three sieves?

- Before you say anything, you need to sift it three times. First, through the sieve of truth. Are you sure what you say is true?

- No. I just heard ...

- Very good. So you don't know if it's true or not. Then we sift through the second sieve - the sieve of kindness. Do you want to say something good about my friend?

- No! Against!

“So,” the sage continued, “you’re going to say something bad about him, but you’re not even sure if it’s true.” Let's try the third sieve - the sieve of benefit. Do I really need to hear what you want to tell?

- No, this is not necessary.

- So, - concluded the sage, - in what you want to say, there is neither kindness, nor benefit, nor necessity. Why then speak?

1. If you have planned to do something and talked about it, the likelihood of successful completion of the case decreases. A person without an iman in his heart is characterized by envy, self-interest, and an evil eye. Think about who you are telling or not say anything at all.

2.With the onset of the time of night prayer until the morning, the time of ignorance: about the words spoken at this time and decisions taken you can be very sorry the very next morning. At this time, it is recommended to especially monitor your speech or remain silent. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) strongly recommended going to bed right after the night prayer, without getting into conversations.

3. A wonderful practice to test if your speech is bad for you is to open your mouth only for thanksgiving. Every time you want to express negativity, complaints, criticism, etc., either be silent, or reformulate this thought into a positive one - in gratitude.

4. Speaking mindfulness will greatly improve the quality of your life. Speak in such a way that both you and those around you will benefit from it. At first it is difficult, so you have to learn to be silent - not to voice the negative aloud - this is the first step. The second is to see the positive in the negative. The third is to talk about this positive.

I wrote this article, first of all, for myself, and such talkers like me, in order to warn against many mistakes. The above does not imply absolute silence. Being always silent and giving monosyllabic answers can show us as a limited person. On the contrary, you need to talk, communicate with people, but be able to shut up ON TIME.

We draw conclusions, reflect.

I often regret what I said, but I rarely regret that I was silent.

Joseph Addison

Silence is sometimes more meaningful and sublime than the noblest and most expressive eloquence, and in many cases testifies to a high intelligence.

Pierre Bouast

Silence does not always prove the presence of mind, but it proves the absence of stupidity.

Francis Bacon

Silence is the virtue of fools.

He who knows how to keep silent hears many confessions; for who will open to the talker and the gossip.

Homer

Silence adorns the woman.

Gracian y Morales

Silence is the altar of caution.

Gregory the Theologian

It is better to keep silent than to say bad things.

Victor Hugo

Silence is the refuge of a simple soul who has experienced the full depth of human sorrow.

Albert Camus

To be silent is to believe yourself.

Effendi Kapiev

Silence can not only say a lot, but also do a lot.

Thomas Carlyle

He who does not know how to remain silent until the time comes to speak and act is not a real person.

Confucius

Silence is a great friend who will never change.

Francois VI de La Rochefoucauld

If a great skill is required to speak in time, then a great skill is to keep silent in time.

For those who do not trust themselves, it is wiser to remain silent.

Sri Ramana Maharshi

What is silence? It is continuous eloquence.

Menander

Silence can be the hardest accusation.

First of all, learn to restrain your tongue.

Honoré Mirabeau

The silence of the nations is a lesson for kings.

Michel de Montaigne

There is no answer more humiliating than a contemptuous silence.

Charles Louis Montesquieu

Sometimes silence is more expressive than any speech.

Haruki Murakami

Lies and silence are two grave sins that have grown especially violently in modern human society... We do lie a lot - or keep quiet.

Pythagoras

Be silent or say something better than silence.

Alexander Pope

Silence is the gloss of fools and the cunning of a sage.

Publius Cyrus

Always keep moderation both in speech and in silence.

Better to be reasonably silent than stupid to speak.

To a request, a polite refusal is silence.

Saadi

Sitting silently in the corner, biting his tongue,
Better than those who are not used to keeping their mouths shut.

Lucius Seneca

If you want to be silent about something, be silent first.

Whoever cannot be silent is incapable of speaking.

Henryk Sienkiewicz

These mountains bear the stamp of special solemnity - they rise like walls on the border of life and death. Here, below, a city, a port, a dam, ships, trains, boats are moving - there is eternal silence. Nobody goes there because there is no need to go.

Gennady Sergienko

Silence is gold for which words are redeemed.

Solon

Silence cements speech, and timeliness cements silence.

Philip Stanhope

You must be able to keep silent about everything that matters only for you alone.

Rabindranath Tagore

The dust of dead words stuck to you. Wash your soul with silence.

Theophrastus

If you are ill-mannered and silent, then you are brought up, but if you are brought up and are silent, then you are well educated.

If you are an ignoramus and are silent, then you behave smartly, if you are smart and are silent, then it is stupid.

Lev Tolstoy

People learn how to speak, and the main science is how and when to be silent.

If you once regret not saying, you will regret it a hundred times. that he did not remain silent.

Gleb Uspensky

Sometimes you can be silent about a lot.

Lyon Feuchtwanger

It takes a person two years to learn to speak, and sixty years to learn to keep his mouth shut.

Theognides of Megar

It is difficult for a rational person to have a long conversation with fools. But to be silent all the time is beyond human strength.

William Hazlitt

Silence is a special art of conversation.

Anton Chekhov

The highest expression of happiness or unhappiness is most often silence; lovers understand each other better when they are silent, and the hot, passionate speech spoken at the grave touches only strangers, but to the widow and the children of the deceased it seems cold and insignificant.

Nicolas de Chamfort

The silence of a man known for his eloquence inspires much more reverence than the chatter of an ordinary talker.