A man cheats because. Why do men decide to cheat? He is "Soft and fluffy"

Male psychology of betrayal, what it is, ways to explain the phenomenon of attraction of a married man to other women are described in this article. Male representatives are more likely to have fun on the side than their spouses. This circumstance is due to the fact that men are weaker sexually, intimacy for them is not only a manifestation of feelings, but also a banal satisfaction of lust.

According to statistics, women are much less likely to cheat on their partner. This happens most often as revenge on a loved one for deceit, from loneliness or despair. It is fundamentally wrong to punish a traitor with his own weapon, because now not only he is a traitor in a pair.

Reasons for cheating on the part of a man

Low self-esteem, desire to assert oneself;

The man is unhappy in the family. The wife constantly expresses dissatisfaction, makes excessive demands on him;

Sexual dissatisfaction;
Before you is a typical womanizer who will never improve;

Victim of a casual relationship. It is quite possible that the spouse did not plan to cheat, the circumstances just coincided when he could not resist. For example, an easily accessible woman seduced a drunk man;
High social status, which, according to some representatives of the stronger sex, obliges you to surround yourself with beautiful women.

A man who cheats systematically does it consciously. He presents himself as a male for whom sexual relations are not connected with feelings. So, it's quite possible that he doesn't really understand that he hurts his wife when he cheats on her. The partner believes that only the quivering feelings that he feels for her are enough for his woman, and carnal pleasures can be on the side. Such men most often have not one permanent lover, but frequent casual relationships. He justifies himself by the fact that this is a non-binding relationship, and he will keep spiritual fidelity to his chosen one until the end of his days.

A cheater of this type needs to be put in his place as soon as possible, to explain to him that he has no right to be physically with other women. An effective technique is to scare a man with a breakup. If he really has real feelings, the betrayal will stop. If the husband still continues to cheat, you will have to part with him or come to terms with his peculiarity, such men are incorrigible.

Signs that your husband is cheating

He had a lot of things to do at work that he didn't have before. The spouse is often delayed and goes on business trips;

Covert telephone conversations. He doesn't leave his phone in plain sight. A password appears on the computer;

Frequent meetings with friends, trips to visit with an overnight stay;

He stops bringing his salary home or withholds part of it. New items of expenditure appeared in his life, which it is better not to know about his wife;
New things appear in the man’s wardrobe, he begins to visit the gym;
If the family does not yet have a child, the spouse asks you not to rush, to live for yourself;
Lack of intimacy with his wife, constant excuses, refers to fatigue, lack of mood or desire;

Confused, guilty look. The husband looks away, rarely smiles, does not answer jokes.

Almost always, after a betrayal, a man feels guilty, the realization of what he has done occurs when it is too late to fix something. The feeling of shame usually manifests itself in suspicious helpfulness, readiness to do all the chores around the house. So the guilty spouse, as it were, apologizes for his sins.

How to behave as a woman who found out about the betrayal

Being as calm as possible is difficult, but you need to try. A calm measured tone is ideal for a conversation between a husband and wife on the topic of infidelity. Your calmness will prompt the companion to think about whether he is indifferent to you.

Do not look for a meeting with a homeowner, restrain emotions. By showing indifference to her rival, a woman demonstrates her advantage;

Do not hesitate to end the relationship if you can not forgive. Sleeping in the same bed with a man who is disgusting to you is disrespect for yourself;
Change something in your image. For example, dye your hair, change your hairstyle, start painting your eyes differently. Change allows distraction;

Do not try to keep a person who is determined to leave. Feelings can not be returned, it's time to start a new life.

There is a stereotype that all men cheat on their chosen ones. But according to the statistics of the last five years, in Russia men who have cheated on their wives are gaining 60-75%. Scientists are trying to figure it out I would like to understand why men cheat more often than women, and who is to blame.

Causes of male infidelity

Society is accustomed to justify male infidelity by the polygamous nature of the stronger sex. But besides polygamy, there are other reasons that push a man to adultery.

In pursuit of new sensations

A common reason for cheating is banal boredom in a relationship with a partner. A string of household chores is addictive, and sexual life has become monotonous. Then a person goes in search of impressions. Not always this desire leads to innocent hobbies. A man who is tired of the monotonous family life will want to try something unusual. Including another woman. The realization that he is performing a forbidden act will only increase the release of adrenaline into the blood.

It is possible to prevent the outcome if a man and a woman periodically look for something new and interesting for both, which they have not tried before (this also applies to the intimate sphere). Find a new hobby, spend a weekend together in an unknown place, try unusual techniques.

Call of nature

Since primitive times, a man has been associated with the image of a hunter who is trying to get the inaccessible. Many centuries have passed since then, but still inaccessibility is of interest to the stronger sex: they want to win the woman they like. It is like a gambling game with an unpredictable ending, where the man will be the winner or the loser.

In parallel with this fact, a pattern coexists, due to which a man has a predisposition to change partners. Polygamy "inspires" men to spread their seed among more women. The biological feature is not always realized by men, but directs them to the path of infidelity.

It is possible to rebel against nature. It will depend only on the man and his ability to curb animal instincts.

Who would snuggle...

Sometimes men are pushed to betray the lack of attention, care and understanding. If a spouse rarely communicates heart to heart with a man, is not interested in life and refuses to take care of him, then by this she alienates the man. And where there is no mutual understanding and warmth between partners, happiness is impossible. Sooner or later, an “abandoned” man will meet a woman who will admire his achievements, take an interest in his well-being, or approve his point of view. It is possible that then the man will want to associate himself with her, even on the side.

To prevent this from happening, try to be attentive and understanding.

Gray hair in a beard - demon in a rib

The midlife crisis is accompanied in men by depression and the search for the meaning of life. This can lead an elderly man to the idea that he needs a young woman. Forty-year-old men prefer to have a young mistress who is able to "infect" with energy and love of life. Fear of death gives rise to a desire to "live to the fullest", which is why men associate themselves with young ladies who are able to have fun and show interest in the world around them.

A woman, in order to prevent the appearance of a third person in a relationship with her husband, should spend more time with a man in crisis: discuss joint plans, cheer up her partner and charge her with optimism.

"You have changed…"

Fact: most of the women after marriage with a man ceases to take care of themselves. The appearance of a husband in a dressing gown, the lack of manicure, hairstyle, makeup, a prominent figure - all this makes you less attractive. The husband will begin to compare you with others and choose a new spectacular girlfriend. Men want to see a woman from the cover of a magazine next to them, but only a few understand that a woman needs time and money to do this.

If you are untidy because you can’t keep up with the chores at work and around the house to devote time to your appearance, then ask your partner to help. Keep yourself in good shape all the time: exercise, buy beautiful things, apply cosmetics, do body treatments, visit a hairdresser.

Matter of chance

Sometimes a man cheats on a woman out of thoughtlessness or negligence. For example, in a state of intoxication or for the sake of an experiment on principles.

It is important for a man to weigh all the pros and cons before giving in to desires, as the consequences can be serious. Not every woman can put up with the excuse “done without thinking”.

Love is gone...

The former feelings for the companion faded away, and living together has become a habit. But everyone wants love and awe in the soul. This will push the man to search for a new object of desire.

If a woman knows how to return the love of the chosen one and will fight for happiness, then it is not necessary to break off the relationship.

Selling soul

For some men, in the pursuit of financial well-being or status, all means are good. He is ready to neglect family values, just to get access to the money of a wealthy mistress. Such men are called gigolos. They are able to simultaneously belong to two women: a poor, but beloved chosen one and an influential lady-sponsor.

Alfonsism is a way of life that an adult man will not refuse, so the choice is up to a woman.

bad influence

Life in a team dictates laws and norms of behavior, and if a person does not share these values, he becomes an outcast. Therefore, moral pressure from the environment of a man can cause betrayal. The negative influence comes from the friends of the "alpha males" who like to make fun of the decency and loyalty of a man. Or from relatives: their annoying complaints about a companion can play a role and push a man to find the best “copy” in order to assert himself among others.

You can fence yourself off from the bad influence of others by breaking off contact with them or ignoring their opinion.

Separation villain

Love at a distance will strengthen feelings. But only if it doesn't happen too often. A woman who is constantly on business trips or goes to a resort alone risks losing her emotional connection with a man. And a man, deprived of female participation, will prefer to brighten up loneliness in the company of another person.

A woman should reconsider her lifestyle and exclude long separations from her beloved.

The reason for the betrayal of a man can be the former who suddenly appeared on the horizon, so charming and dear. If the feelings have not cooled down, then the man will want to win her heart again, forgetting about the current passion. When people are connected by the past, where they have experienced so much together, it is likely that they will want to return to this again.

Here everything depends only on a man who either succumbs to long-standing feelings for an ex-girlfriend, or decides to live in the present with a companion.

Signs of male infidelity

A man after infidelity will look or behave differently than before. To determine whether the husband really has another, signs that will give him away will help. The list is approximate, so do not make hasty conclusions - better understand the situation:

Stopped wearing a wedding ring

If you are sure that he did not lose it, then ask why the husband stopped wearing a wedding ring.

Spontaneously changed image

This is not necessarily due to the presence of a woman on the side, but it is worth being wary. Especially if your man has not experimented with appearance for a long time. Find out what the decision is about.

New habits and hobbies

For example, the husband did not use cologne before, but now he has started. Or he has always been indifferent to a sports lifestyle, and has recently become an activist.

Constantly refuses to have sex, complaining about fatigue or feeling unwell

If you notice that your proposals of an intimate nature cause your husband to yawn or squeamish facial expressions, then sort out the problem.

Withholds information, understates or lies

When a man cannot really explain where he was and what he did, this already leads to suspicious thoughts. He may show distrust, hiding the screen of a computer or phone from your view. Understand.

Often began to correspond with someone on the phone

If a man in the middle of the night begins to correspond with an unknown person or leaves the room to talk on his mobile, this is an occasion to ask about his interlocutors.

Pays little attention spending free time outside the home

If a man is constantly looking for an excuse to leave home for a long time, then talk and determine the reason for the behavior.

Creates reasons for quarrels, often finds fault

Maybe he often has a bad mood, or maybe you began to annoy him. If it's the latter, then find out why.

You began to find "pieces" of another woman

His clothes smell of unfamiliar perfumes, alien hair and traces of unknown lipstick often come across - beware and talk carefully with the man.

Changes but does not leave

If a man has a long relationship on the side, but does not start talking about leaving the family, this may mean the following (the reasons are arranged from the most likely to the least):

He believes that stability is above all.

The man is satisfied with the current state of affairs. He doesn't want to lose you because you are a good person. Or he does not benefit from a divorce from you, as it will be followed by a division of property. It is most convenient for an unfaithful husband to have at hand both a familiar mistress and a passionate lover.

It is at the stage of uncertainty.

The man cannot decide what to do in this situation, so he does not say anything. He wants to think things over carefully before making a choice.

He thinks: you are silent - it means you do not know.

If you found out about your husband's betrayal, but have not yet raised this topic, then he will assume that you do not know anything about his campaigns. To tell a man about awareness or not is a private matter.

Relationships don't always go smoothly. even if you are already married.

Small quarrels, resentments, perhaps even the worst - betrayal.

Why does this happen? Why do men cheat on their wives but don't leave?

How to let go of the person you love? help you!

Are all men capable of cheating?

Of course not. If a man appreciates his beloved, respects his choice, he will not change.

He can touch on this topic, even think about it.

But in practice, this will not be done. But this is an extremely rare type of man.

Do all men cheat? Find out from the video:

Psychology and causes

Why and why do men or boys cheat on their wives?

How long does a man's love last? find out right now.

Three reasons why men cheat in this video:

Male look and the most shocking answers

Men and women view change differently.

Representatives of the stronger sex can decide to commit adultery as a result of many reasons and often do not see what's wrong with it.

Why do guys cheat? Here's what they say about cheating:

How to win the love of a husband? you will find on our website.

Why do husbands cheat on beautiful wives? Male opinion:

Consequences of infidelity

When they cheat, they hardly think about what consequences await them and how this affair will affect their wives. And they don’t even think about their possible state at this moment.

It often happens that after infidelity a man feels guilty. He becomes nervous, afraid that all this will come to the surface.

When adultery becomes known, the culprit begins to feel regret. Often he repents and asks for forgiveness. The wife at this moment experiences severe pain and depression, feels betrayed.

There are two ways out of this situation:

The couple talk for a long time, sort things out, but decide to save the marriage. However, one must understand that on both sides in such a situation it will take a lot of patience and a desire to return to the old relationship. However, the trust that was before can be forgotten.
Spouses understand, what fail and decide to divorce. At the same time, the man believes that he will be able to bring his relationship with his mistress to the official level. But often in such a situation, they are faced with the fact that she does not need it or the relationship simply does not add up. It is also usually difficult for a wife to start a new relationship, because due to past betrayal, it is difficult for her to trust men.

Psychologist's opinion

Why do married men cheat but don't leave their wives?

Why does a man take a mistress, but does not leave the family? Psychologist's answer.

culture

Why do men cheat on their wives and girlfriends? Take at least celebrities: such personalities as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis ... They have everything - talent, fame, money and wonderful families. And at the same time, even such men manage to look for someone on the side. But why is this happening? What is the reason that men cheat? In fact, according to American psychologists, men give nine of the most common answers to this question.

According to one Kat Hertlein, Ph.D. and professor of human development at the University of Nevada, about 40 percent of men cheat. Moreover, this figure has not changed much since the 1950s when, as a result of one well-known sociological study, it turned out that 50 percent of men cheat at about the same period of marriage. But why do they change?

Why do men cheat? Expert opinion

According to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas, the number one reason is that men crave sexual diversity, because they developed a desire to be with different women. For men, even the process of reproduction itself looks much easier (just one sexual intercourse compared to nine months of pregnancy in women).

In fact, they are biologically programmed to leave as many offspring as possible after themselves, for which it is necessary to mate with a large number of women. "The child was a kind of reward for a short-term sexual intercourse which is more valued by men than by women Bass says. - Thus, after thousands of generations, the desire for sexual diversity was deposited in the brain of men..

Are there other reasons that can also be considered an important explanation for male infidelity? Men are simply unhappy with their chosen ones, and sex on the side is an easy and inexpensive pleasure, allowing, as they say, to pass the harsh and boring days that men spend in unhappy marriages. According to Professor Bass, this reason is one of the most common causes of male infidelity.

However, let us return to the statement that the wives of famous husbands and men in power also very often face the fact that their chosen ones cheat on them. "Women are attracted to men who are invested with power and status, since a public figure usually has many possibilities" , - Bass reveals a simple secret. However, it does not matter whether your spouse is a born politician, a famous actor, or an ordinary plumber - the reasons why all these people cheat are about the same.

According to Steve Santagati, author of popular publications in the West devoted to the search for the causes of male infidelity, ninety-nine percent of adultery occur for one very simple reason - because of ordinary boredom! However, whatever the reason, men are rewarded for this with a very unflattering name - a male. However, we will give the “males” themselves a chance to justify themselves by listening to their opinion on the nine most common explanations for the causes of betrayal.

Why do men cheat? The opinion of the men themselves

1. She is not what she used to be.

An ordinary average man is no better or worse than the biblical character Adam - they are also not able to resist the temptation of a ripe fruit (especially if a woman whom men, in theory, should not change, ceases to follow itself). "If she was so lazy that she gained weight, or if she just didn't look after her appearance, it's no surprise that a man looks at other women.", says Santagati.

Santagati confirms the simple truth that a woman who wants to keep a man on a short leash is simply obliged to look at her reflection in the mirror more often and more closely. However, men should do the same! After all, it often happens that a husband has long turned into a shapeless slug, and everything continues to demand perfection from his soul mate! "It's typical double standards", - Santagati is sure.

For their part, men need to make certain efforts in order to try again to rekindle the spark of relationships at home, and not on the side. "Do so to make her feel lovely, even if you have to lie , advises Santagati. - Tell her how beautiful she is and how you appreciate this trait in her. This will make her feel sexy and she will want you to feel happier too.".

Santagati believes that this attitude can lead to more desirable and enjoyable sex, and one Sue Johnson, professor of clinical psychology, agrees. from the University of Ottawa, Canada. "Everything indicates that when a woman feels your reliability and attention, this will lead to a better relationship with a partner", - Professor Johnson confirms another hackneyed truth.

2. She has a grumpy personality

It's probably hard to imagine what can literally push a married man into the arms of another woman faster than his own grumpy spouse. "She's like an annoying mosquito , says Santagati. - He does not want to have sex with his wife, he would like to stay away from her altogether. And the most practical solution is to have sex with a more intelligent woman.".

However, not all men agree with Santagati. One Steven Solomon, who is a Ph.D., calls this approach complete nonsense. "No woman does anything for which a cheating man can be forgiven. Solomon is sure. - No matter how the relationship develops, it is unlikely to be beneficial if in the end everything goes to adultery..

3. She doesn't understand me!

Men who regularly cheat on their wives very often state that they do not feel understanding from their soulmate. However, according to Kat Hartlein, this is not always the fault of women, because very often they are either too angry or simply afraid to make contact. Quite a strange attempt to justify such women, isn't it? However, given that it came from the lips of a woman ...

"It's easier for men to try to build a relationship on the side than it is to work on a relationship with their partner.", says Hartlane. - We often see such a "triangulation". The deep-seated fear of close intimacy is hard to overcome by men. And it is much easier for them to start changing again. Hartlein is sure that in this situation there is no more effective way than visiting a psychologist. I wonder what the professor could advise to those couples in this situation who will never be dragged into the office of a psychotherapist?

4. Cheating turns on...

Many men who like to go left very often become a victim of their own desire to tickle their nerves, feel the risk, play with fire ... They like to do it, and no one forces them! "It adds a certain level of risk , explains Santagati, and this risk adds excitement". However, if one follows such reasoning, is there anything that can stop such a man, as soon as he firmly intends to go to the left?

Psychologists believe that wives need to maintain a kind of mystery, maintaining the spark of sexual life in the family. In fact, any woman is able to maintain this light in such a way that no man wants to cheat on her. However, according to Santagati, many men also cheat because of feelings of fear, loneliness or aggression. "The cheating partner doesn't deal with these feelings, which leads him to infidelity" he says. I wonder what the professor means?

5. To the side, like hunting!

It often happens that married men who cheat on their wives cannot even really explain why they do it. At the same time, with enviable perseverance and constancy spend a lot of time and energy every day looking for something new. In fact, this is akin to the ancient instinct when a man played the role of a hunter and gatherer - after all, this is the role that many lovers of going left now play, the role of a hunter and gatherer of women.

"Perhaps such a man married too soon, suggests Santagati. - Or does he feel like he hasn't tried everything yet?. Women can protect themselves from such relationships, if they can recognize such behavior of their boyfriend. Fortunately for young ladies who do not heed too much other people's advice and the voice of reason, there are several ways to recognize the "male".

Santagati is sure that any woman is able to figure out such a womanizer, carefully observing how a man behaves, being, for example, in a room where there are many very attractive and spectacular women. If a girl fails, as they say, throw the reins on her boyfriend at the very beginning of a romantic acquaintance, there is little chance that it will be possible to do this later. "The first three months are the most revealing", says Santagati.

6. It's all the call of nature, honey ...

"It's our biological nature to be with as many women as possible., says Santagati. - If we have seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace for us. And no matter how beautiful your body is- we get used to it and want to experience something new: new lips, a different figure ... We are monogamous only because we realize that love and friendship are more important things than a casual relationship on the side ".

However, Juliet Williams, assistant professor at the University of California at Los Angeles, strongly disagrees with this statement. "It doesn't matter even the largest number of male infidelities It's still not biologically determined. she said. - There is still a large percentage of men who are monogamous.".

It's hard to say whether this is evolution, biology, or just the pursuit of new sensations, but experts who study the phenomenon of adultery agree that men really tend to look for different sexual partners. However, no one dared to say that this process is entirely controlled by men. In other words, the stronger sex is quite capable of taking control of this process and not changing it.

"Most men do not give in to their desires for the simple reason that they do not want to jeopardize their social status, reputation or their marriage., - says Professor Bass of the University of Texas. – Even one of the former US presidents, Jimmy Carter, for example, said in one of his interviews that he also has lust in his heart, however, as far as we know, he never followed her lead..

7. It's just sex and nothing else!

For most men, sex and love are two completely different things. “We actually believe that we can love our spouse and still lust after sex with other women. We separate these two concepts in our brain" , - Santagati is sure. This is the simplest division of concepts and allows men to easily cheat on their wives, without feeling any sense of guilt. However, there is one exception here.

"Any sense of guilt that a man may experience after sex is not due to the fact of sex itself, but to the possible consequences, says Santagati. - Will she continue to obsessively pursue him? Will the wife know anything? If a man is prone to monogamous relationships, he will ask himself the main question before cheating: is it worth it? He must be able to imagine the worst case scenario, which is that his wife finds out and it breaks her heart. Is it worth it?"

8. Not today, honey, not today ...

Let's face the truth. As a rule, men need sex more often than women. And if their wives, tired of worries with children and housework during the day, are not at all inclined to experiments, then even the most intelligent hubby will get bored and start looking to the left. And just more sexually active men who have not found an appropriate partner will also continue to search after marriage. It is about the incompatibility of their sexual activity.

9. I change because I can!

As Porthos from The Three Musketeers said - "I fight because I fight!" So it is often extremely difficult for us men to avoid the temptation to rush ... no, not into a fight, but into the bosom of debauchery, especially if this temptation is so accessible! In addition, thanks to the development of modern technologies (mainly the Internet), it has become easy for men to cheat literally every minute!

Yes, yes, men cheat all the time - browsing some website on their laptop, or staring at the TV - and they can do it next to their sleeping wife! "We do not mean contact at the level of the genitals, says Hartlane. “Cheating is anything that can break a hole in a relationship, including flirting, sexual communication online, and any secrets from your spouse.” Well, it seems that cheating is not something that happens to a man but what's going on in his brain!

A happy marriage can be overshadowed by various events, but one of the most terrible, which hurts the heart of any woman, is betrayal. You share time, a house, a budget, a bed together - and suddenly he prefers the company of some kind of "flip-tail". How to be? What to do? What actually caused it? Why did he do it? - all these questions attack the confused woman, haunting her.

Let's figure out why men take such a step.

"All men change!"

There is an opinion that men are vile traitors. Well, or not vile, but they change stably and constantly - supposedly this is inherent in nature itself, men themselves are polygamous, you should not expect anything more or less serious from them, especially with regard to fidelity in relationships. Whether to agree with this opinion or not is up to you, of course, and we will try to dispel this myth a little.

The fact is that yes, in essence, every person is polygamous, that is, prone to a large number of sexual partners. This is due to the desire to leave behind as many offspring as possible, the most viable of which will continue to transfer genetic material further and continue the genus. But, fortunately, we are no longer in the Stone Age, when behavior was determined only by base instincts.

To think that all men are unfaithful is stupid enough. At the moment, the personal moral qualities of each individual person play a decisive role in the fact of treason. It may seem like something from the realm of fantasy, but a large percentage of men are categorically against cheating, in any form. They explain it simply: a woman next to them, a companion of their life, a wife is their choice. And to change in this case means to change one's choice, and this is a direct disrespect for oneself. It is difficult to argue with such logic.

Therefore, all those who shout about the obligatory polygamy of men, about the fact that “a real man should have a woman on the side”, about the obligatory diversity, health benefits and many other reasons why it is normal for a man to go “to the left” are far from the best representatives strong half of humanity. In a word, not all men are capable of treason, and the basis of their restraint is in their personal attitude towards themselves, as well as their woman.

However, what to do if a betrayal has occurred? It is worth looking into the possible causes.

Why the husband cheated: let's try to figure out the reasons

So. You are a frustrated woman who found out that her husband cheated. Perhaps he himself came with repentance, he understood everything himself, or perhaps it was just an absurd accident, but knowing what happened is a real stress. Why did he do it? What to do if you love him and are not ready to leave? It is worth thinking about the reason for such an act. We have collected the most common causes of infidelity, called unfaithful husbands.

lack of sex

This reason is included in all sorts of tops and charts. One of the most common reasons for the separation of many couples, cheating, quarrels and many other troubles in a relationship lies precisely in this. The discrepancy between sexual desires is generally a very evil, cruel and insidious thing. It's not just about the constant dissatisfaction of one of the partners. Often, the one who is more sexually active in a couple simply does not understand their partner's lesser need for sex. This causes frequent quarrels and conflicts in itself.

Another aspect in this matter is the sexual preferences themselves, as such - someone categorically does not accept any sex other than the classic one with a narrow list of poses, someone cannot be liberated and is embarrassed by light, lack of clothes, his body, and so on ... List all the reasons possible indefinitely. And if this may not affect short-term relationships in any way, then with a longer life together, this becomes a serious problem.

And if a man is not satisfied, he begins to look for a mistress who realizes his sexual desires in full.

Sex as such becomes more insipid over time, becomes boring, and in this case even strong feelings do not save. Several years pass, a kind of crisis sets in, when even the most beloved and desired person can no longer excite as much as before. There is a desire for novelty, that very storm of emotions that overwhelmed the head in the first meetings. This is what often pushes men to look for another woman.

Difficult home environment

It often happens that the house becomes not a stronghold of peace and tranquility, but a place of warfare. If you, as a woman, prefer to resolve all issues solely with the help of screaming and moral pressure - be prepared that after a long period of patience, one day your husband will have "hands-on work", "business trips", and the boss will become just a "beast". At the same time, it’s not really possible to blame him for this very much - any man will seek calmness, support and understanding somewhere on the side, if at home any action is perceived with hostility and leads to a scandal.

But if you like to manipulate a man with the help of sex, or rather the lack of it, then you can safely assume that you are preparing an unenviable fate for yourself.

Appearance

One of the very common reasons why a man gets a mistress is the unwillingness of the second half to take care of himself. You create a family when you are young, beautiful, plus most often you are madly in love and do not notice each other's shortcomings. But after a while, you begin to notice each other's shortcomings. More time passes, you relax and stop looking after yourself.

Remember, on all dates you gathered with all care, dressed, painted, kept yourself in shape with constant training and diets, so that “your favorite dress fits perfectly!” and the man appreciated it.

Of course, you love each other in any way, but every time it's more pleasant and interesting to look at fit, elegant girls, with beautiful hairstyles, makeup, developing and extraordinary. If you, as a woman, think that since he loves you, then he will not go anywhere and anyone will love, then, unfortunately, you are most likely mistaken. He will love you, however, for the sake of variety and aesthetic pleasure, trips to the side will also quite possibly coexist with your relationship.

Misunderstanding

Despite the fact that it sounds strange, but many men commit adultery only for the reason that they consider their women incapable of understanding all their subtle mental organization, the real depth of problems, and so on ... As well as the real unwillingness to understand their own man - his hobbies, desires, requests. It is absolutely normal that any person will seek understanding at least somewhere, and it is quite possible that the only person who understands will be some kind of local cook - if not a model appearance, but still with a wide soul and a kind heart. So be vigilant, treat with understanding the wishes and hobbies of your man.

Cheating for a man: what can it really mean

Suppose we have dealt with the main causes of male infidelity, which lie in the very relationships in the family. However, this is not a complete list of the reasons that lead to such a phenomenon as treason. Therefore, let's figure out why men need it at all ...

Thirst for thrills

It is very similar to a primitive hunt: he is a strong earner, a hunter, he goes in search of a new “victim”. The very process of flirting, luring a new girl into their networks, for such males is a powerful adrenaline stimulator, akin to extreme sports. The process is important here, the emotions that it evokes, and it doesn’t always come to bed, and if it does, then it’s just a beautiful “point” in the hunt.

Sharpening of the senses

Many men admit that going to the side for them is like a pill that can rekindle a fading passion in a relationship with their wife or beloved woman. That is, the very fact of doing something not entirely right, the fear of being caught red-handed, the very process of conspiracy - already exacerbate all feelings to the limit, exciting, like well-aged wine. And the experience gained with another woman allows you to compare sensations, bring new experience to existing relationships and for a long time gives you more vivid feelings in relationships with your woman. In addition, it often happens that on the other hand it is worse for him, and the man begins to appreciate the current relationship.

Different perception

There are men who absolutely distinguish directly between sex, flirting, feelings of love and affection. That is, they do not tritely consider it a betrayal of relations with other women - they still love you! Well, what else do you need, because of what you are upset?

A funny fact - many women believe that marital dishonesty in a relationship on the part of a man is an axiom, which in any case will be present in the process of living together. Even before the wedding, many wives are instructed by older relatives: give freedom to your husband, work up - he will return. But what do all these trips to the side really mean for men? Let's figure it out:

Tired of routine
Lack of attention from wife
Excessive attention or unreasonable suspicion from the wife,
Thirst for new or just "sharp" sensations,
Feeling of loneliness, uselessness in your family,
The desire to realize their sexual desires and fantasies,
Lack of sex
Increase self-esteem,
Increasing "coolness" among friends.

That is, we see that in some cases, one way or another, both parties are to blame - both the cheating husband and his woman. This is not an attempt to shift the blame, but a serious reason to think - is your couple at risk?

How do I know if my husband is cheating on me?

Having dealt with all the reasons, it's time to think: what to do if the fact of infidelity is not proven, but "all men cheat!"? How can you find out if your husband is really cheating?

There are a number of signs that may indicate the fact of marital dishonesty. However, do not rush to immediately rush at your man with claims! Unproven accusations can not only offend and offend your man, but also push him to commit such an act.

Why should you be careful? The fact is that a man can think like this: “Okay, she thinks that I'm cheating on her and makes scandals. Let this at least be true.” And then they go to change for real.

So, the signs when a man found another:

Suddenly appeared rush at work, overtime and extra working days;
New telephone contacts who need communication at a later time;
Phone, computer, tablet and other equipment acquired passwords, becoming controlled no worse than classified objects;
Many telephone conversations began to require an urgent exit "to the air" or to the farthest room, and when reading some messages, the facial expression changes unpredictably;
Business trips, meetings with friends, trips to bars, matches or fishing trips appeared or became more frequent;
The choice of clothes, shoes, perfume, as well as appearance in general, has become too much time;
Alien hair on clothes / in the car;
Traces of cosmetics, the smell of someone else's perfume;
Appeared coldness towards you, irritability, alienation;
There was a sudden craving for taking care of your figure and health;
More infrequent sex or less attention to you.

Remember that all of these points can have a logical, and most importantly, truthful explanation. Don't go overboard looking for what isn't there, but be alert to clear changes in behavior. Indeed, sometimes, jealousy scenes based on unverified facts spoil some unusual surprises and relationships. So weigh everything well before making a claim.

How not to give rise to betrayal?

It is very important to always remain desirable and beautiful so that your man admires you every second. Do not believe the man on duty: "Yes, dear, you are my best." Firstly, slow changes are not particularly noticeable, and secondly, what kind of man wants to create a quarrel out of nothing? Here are a few points to never forget:

Look after yourself. Behind your figure, weight, clothes, hygiene. And, keep an eye on it all the time. Many women think that since you are already living together, everything is fine in your couple, then you can relax. That is, do not do your hair, walk in pajamas or home stretched sweatpants and a T-shirt, gain a few pounds, and so on. This position is unacceptable! Do not neglect a comb, beautiful home clothes, healthy eating, otherwise there is a risk of one day seeing some pretty and well-groomed lady in the arms of your beloved husband.
Develop. If you got married or moved in with a young man, this does not mean that now your only area of \u200b\u200binterest is cooking and cleaning. Remember: a good life partner should also be a good friend and an interesting conversationalist. Any man will appreciate it. It is not necessary to share all the interests of your chosen one, but you should not forget about your own hobbies either. Learn something new, discuss it with your man, and you will always remain interesting.
Experiment. And in everything. Variety is necessary not only in nutrition and appearance, but especially in bed. It is not necessary to come up with a daily show program, but from time to time it is not only possible, but even necessary, to arrange surprises.
Be restrained. Of course, women are more emotional than men and are more prone to mood swings. However, this does not mean that absolutely all emotions should always be dumped on a partner. Learn tact, always find out the details before drawing conclusions, do not be a "saw" for your husband.
Create comfort, warmth, care. That's what a man needs when he comes home. Provide him with all this, be attentive to your loved one, create a stronghold of calm for him. Many men see in a woman, among other things, the keeper of the hearth.

By following all these simple rules, you will significantly reduce the likelihood that one day your man, the earner, will want to turn his eyes to someone else. Thus, you will always remain in the center of his attention, and he will already be extremely attentive and careful, otherwise you never know ...

Summing up, I want to say a little about the "mistakes". These are the very cases when your beloved man gets drunk somewhere, waking up in bed with an unfamiliar beauty. Or he gives in to a sudden outburst of passion for a colleague, and then he himself does not understand what happened and why this is necessary. In such cases, all of them themselves go to confession, swearing that they were beguiled and they will never do this again. Forgive them or not - the choice is yours. However, if a person cannot control his instincts, then it is worth considering ...

Another common type of marital dishonesty is the popular chat roulette, in which many are engaged in far from communication on various topics. How to respond to this, again, is up to you. Most "real men" do not see anything wrong with this, and technically this is not even cheating, but it still leaves an extremely unpleasant aftertaste. If talking does not help, do not be afraid to contact psychologists and psychotherapists. This is much better than constant quarrels and scandals that exhaust not only your husband, but also your nerves.

Remember that the most important thing is to love, appreciate and respect yourself first of all. After all, the fear of losing a man can lead to a complete loss of your personality, your own boundaries and interests. In many ways, it depends on your attitude towards yourself how a man will treat you. You should not forgive something or agree to something if it is unacceptable for you, but in the name of love you can. It's not worth it. Take care of yourself and be happy!