The path to harmony with yourself. Ten lessons of the path. How to come to harmony but in order to find harmony with yourself, it is necessary to comply with the basic rules

Elena Bikulov

Loves writing texts that inspire. Tries to discover myself and the eyes around you for this world.

Partner dependence

This is perhaps one of the main reasons that prevents us from finding the inner harmony and feel truly happy. When people meet, there is a clash of their inner worlds. Each of them is beautiful in its own way and has its own unique features. Before this meeting, each of us passed some way, made mistakes and acquired valuable experience. And at some point, these worlds begin to close more and more: we share the feelings and emotions of each other, we share our experiences or plans for the future with our partner, we begin to gradually enter a person in our environment.

It would seem that here is bad? We all dream of healthy and harmonious relations, in which we will desire to divide the interests of each other. Only sometimes it comes out of our control under the onslaught of surging romantic feelings, we dissolve in a person, forgetting about themselves.

Rémi Walle / unsplash.com

I would call it a kind of mimicria. We are passionately watching the life of a partner, his hobby becomes our hobby. We share each other with personal victories and celebrate joint, and so on the rolled.

Everything would be nothing, but for a second, imagine that this person is no longer in your life. What will remain from you after his care? Will your life still interesting and bright? Will you be in the constant process of creating something? Or will you wait for a new collision?

Comfort Zone: Create or destroy

Recently, the most discussed topic among psychologists and bloggers. The gloss is sisit of articles on the ways to exit this notorious zone in order to improve living standards and self-confidence.

Undoubtedly, it is very important to leave the comfort zone and useful, but it is impossible to do it mindlessly. First you need to understand where your comfort zone begins and ends. There is a very thin line between what you are simply unusual, and what can be a real test for you. It is difficult to leave the Komfor zone even the most liberated and sociable, I'm not talking about people suffering from different kinds of phobias.

You can not break the one who breaks ourselves from day to day itself.
Y. Nesbo, Norwegian writer and musician

Indeed, it is difficult to break the confidence in yourself and its forces of a person who is in constant creation of itself by constant growth and exiting the familiar medium. The reason for discomfort at the first steps in the new business is sometimes not that a person is hard to adapt to the unusual way of life, but that he does not need it.

It is vital to break ourselves to stay in a jet, but you need to pay a report in what you do it, healthy to evaluate all possible losses. Otherwise, constantly breaking herself, you will turn into a devastated vessel, lose what was given to you by the nature itself, and your life beings will betray.

Tarling masks

How often we hide our essence from prying eyes and themselves. We are trying to be similar to someone, looking at other people's successes, in something we envy passing by people, sometimes even feel angry and offended. Without a doubt, there are many samples for imitation, which have achieved unprecedented success and live a different life: bright, devoid of routine and daily early lifts to work that does not bring pleasure.

But why are you angry and lower your hands when we are able to change the course of events? Our life is given to us not to stay in the image of the victim and complain about the injustice of fate. It is necessary to act and preferably without delay.

Do not like your hairstyle or wardrobe? Change and create yourself again. You must admire your own reflection in the mirror, and not turn around for each random oncoming thought: "She is so beautiful and well-groomed why I have everything else ..."

You do not need to put the experiences and awareness of what you do not like to be as forced to be circumstances. Remove the mask of normality and events and stop already worrying about what other people will think about you. Think: Many of them are respectful and cause admiration precisely because they once ceased to take care of someone else's opinion.

Maybe it is at the moment when you release to the will of your inner beast, awareness of what you want to devote your life to you. And as is known, one of the main components of happiness is the case, which brings pleasure to us.

Infinite cycle of desires

We always wish to get something or achieve something, and it is perfect, otherwise it was impossible to talk about what development and inner growth. What is the snag?

Everyone has a dream of each other: a new pair of a shoes or dress, the most sophisticated SUV or supercar, an apartment or villa on the coast, and someone has a dream to escape from a small town and conquer the peaks of the world. But after the execution of these desires, new, and so can last infinitely. The feeling of happiness is quickly drawn by fading joy, which is replaced by the satisfaction of the situation.

But, as you know from the student years, satisfactorily - these are just three, and to whom of us want to live life on the triethrower? We are inventing yourself a new dream, we again worry about her execution, I'm angry if something goes not according to plan until she finally comes true. Further, everything is in a new way - an infinite cycle of desires.

Do we bring this happiness? Hardly. After all, we cannot retain the happiness experienced by our little, but from this no less cherished dream.

We have learned to live in this moment - the moment of the implementation of cherished desire.

As long as we are in this crazy race, we will not be able to feel happy when our dreams come true.

Learn to be happy alone with yourself and rejoice in every moment of life. Understand that no person in this world can give you a feeling of harmony if a hurricane passion is raging inside you, consisting of dissatisfaction with its position, insecurity and fears.

3 rules that will help feel life in all its manifestations

Expand your horizons. Find, get acquainted with interesting people, start playing sports, travel, do something new and unusual for you.
Listen to your inner voice. You need to realize what you like exactly, and not to your surrounding. Save your uniqueness and continue to be an interesting interlocutor.
Forget about what was before, and do not make a ridicule. The past gave you invaluable experience, and your future depends on what you do here and now. Concentrate all your strength on what is busy at the moment. You will see how easier and faster you will move to the goals set.

Do not be afraid of unknown and innovations. In any case, you will win in any case, because your shoulders will experience the experience that will help you move forward.

Most people believe that if they have something that is not now, they will become happier, prosperous, calmer, love. They are convulsive to achieve the desired one - but in the process do not have anything listed above. Many of us spend all their lives in pursuit of what they do not have, and do not become those who want to become.

Secret number 1. be happy

Happiness is not purchased, it is an integral right of a person from birth. Surrounding unable to make you happy because the source of true happiness is not out, and within us. The paradox is that a person can achieve any state as soon as it understands that it all depends on its choice. If you want to become happy - become right now, be happy in spite of everything. Happiness is your choice, and not a consequence or result of some action.

Secret # 2. Evaluate yourself adequate

Adequate self-esteem is absolutely necessary when we have to overcome the vital difficulties. She gives us inner strength to:

Do not be afraid of questions about us and find answers to them.
Recognize the fact that we are not pleasant to everyone.
Recognize the fact that we cannot understand all areas of life. And nevertheless, quite worse than something, we can achieve our goal, overcoming obstacles.
Try to cope with conflict situations, do not try to hide from them.
To admit that we are not perfect and we cannot avoid mistakes.

Secret number 3. Love yourself

The best way to achieve consent is the following affirmation: "I love myself and accept myself with my emotions and sensations." You can repeat these words out loud or in the mind.

Secret number 4. Live present

Remember that the most important moment in your life is happening now. Feel joy and happiness right now. As soon as you stop thinking about what you do not have, you will begin to feel the joy of the present moment. Without permanent to negative emotions, you can free yourself from the burden of the past of the past. Most people suffer from not due to the lack of love: they simply do not realize that all negative lies inside them themselves. We summarize themselves, we prescribe our entire time, impose the requirements and all the time we are waiting for something.

Secret # 5. Method "Emotional Balance"

The two main methods to achieve an emotional balance are work with points of acupuncture and affirmation. Affirmations are positive statements about what you would like to see your life. For example, "I respect, accept and love myself." This is a concentration method on what we really strive for. Break down with negative affirmations of the type: "My work is terrible!" Or "I hate my own appearance!" Do not forget to proclaim your affirmations in the present time. For example: "I am happy!", "I feel good!" Or "I have everything I need!". Refuse phrases like: "I will achieve this" or "I need it", because in this case, your subconscious mind decides that all this you need not in the present, but in an indefinite future.

Secret number. Analyze your emotions

At the end of each day, analyze your emotional well-being. If you even experienced the most minimal stress, irritation or some more negative feeling, spend a session by the "Emotional Healing Formula" method or describe this incident in your diary (do not forget to specify the date). Do not miss your thoughts in which you criticize, reject or ridicule yourself. Learn to the attentive observation by yourself.

Formula of emotional healing:

Every day five minutes before bedtime and five minutes after awakening, spend alone with you.

Step 1. Remember the problem that forced you to experience unpleasant sensations. Focus on it. Try to mentally imagine how much she influenced you. Rate the intensity of their experiences on a scale from "0" to "10", where "0" is a neutral feeling in which you feel normally, and "10" - the most bad feeling that you can imagine.
Step 2. Start massaging acupuncture points on your body, not forgetting to talk about something good and affection for two minutes.
Step 3. Focus on the problem again. Understand how strong the negative sensations are now. Rate their intensity from "0" to "10". Usually, at this step, the pain threshold decreases.
Step 4. Repeat step 2.

Repeat this cycle as long as stress, emotions or problem will not leave at all. As a rule, it takes 7-12 minutes.

I love to write about what is important for me - it helps me to systematize some knowledge, understand your own thoughts, and also always brings satisfaction - when I see how many likes and enthusiastic comments are collecting my advice, I want to fly from joy.

Today I want to tell how to learn to live in harmony with me. I know that for many this problem is one of the most important, she is given time, they go to a psychologist. People learn to achieve inner harmony with meditation, yoga, prayers, psychological assistance, special literature and so on.

But sometimes it is better to refer to the compressed information set out on the items and begin to act! Below are tips for those who want to achieve harmony.

I was always interested in psychology, so when I needed to go to the inner and external harmony, I turned to her. From the point of view of psychology, harmony is a mental equilibrium, the correspondence of reality and the surrounding realities by our inner sensations.

I did not accidentally choose this topic - how to live in harmony with me. A modern man is rarely harmonious - almost all of we live in a terrible stress. Bad ecology, heavy loads at work, many people around, traffic jams ... I think, listed the causes of stress can be infinite.

Before I thought about how to find harmony, I was a naturally nervous girl, and it seemed to me that there is my raisher in it. I started my way of a harmonious person from such a list of desires:

improve relationships with people;
change your mood;
seek the desired;
rejoice every day;
feel a soul equilibrium.

How to achieve harmony and find happiness and balance if you are too irritable? I will share my own developments, how to live harmonious:

learn to get rid of stress (for example, regular outdoor walks and favorite music in headphones);
once a week, you devote a couple of hours - spend this time alone, without children, parents and spouse;
spend cleaning (even if you have very clean) and throw away unnecessary trash;
learn to take yourself as you are.

The latter is perhaps the most important thing. The adoption of oneself is the most important component of happiness. Stand in front of the mirror and say everything you sometime confused, and then agree with this. Loud, loud. Praise your figure, your character, agree with your shortcomings and advantages.

Relationship with the world around

Before thinking how to find the inner harmony, you must first come to the harmony of the external one. People around you must be happy and calm - then you will get your happiness and calm.

Make yourself with those who are with you in a tense relationship, ask for forgiveness from those who offended. Complete the relationship that you annoy and destroy.

I easily bonded with two friends - simply because I was tired of their eternal negative, from grinding and reproaches. Just at the next moment, I answered a refusal to the meeting on the meeting, and calmly explained that I was tired of such friendship.

Express measures

Do you think how to find internal harmony? Start doing something for this now! What can you do right today:

answer agree to any offer of the world - if you are called to the movies, then go (even if yesterday you would refuse);
throw away from the closet what they did not wear more than a year;
arrange the evening relaxation (for example, go to the masseur, to the sauna or spa);
allow yourself to be sincere.

It is worth thinking about how to be in harmony with you always. For this you need what I call long-term investments. Change your power style, start doing what you always wanted. Take care to look good - it always helps to find yourself and feel happiness.

How not to ride to procrastination

You must be happy in the soul and in relations with people, you must have everything in order with work and personal life, you must implement yourself and develop. If some part of your life is idle, then harmony is not achieved.

Try to paint everything on the leaves, put personal goals in each area, and evaluate from time to time, as you are effective in achieving these goals. Remember what you do it for yourself.

Make yourself to give the time of each side of life and fight with your fears;
Try to understand yourself and make yourself happier.
Teach yourself to relax - there will never be time for rest if you do not organize it.
Check yourself for inner harmony - select the way and follow it.
Love yourself and learn how to delight yourself.

All this will help you to gain a mental balance. If in the shower is restless, then harmony will not. In some cases it makes sense to go to a psychologist and talk. Many believe that they themselves do not need help, but others - certainly! Unfortunately, such people themselves will not prevent a psychologist to visit - to deny their own problems is sometimes very and very harmful.

How to return a mental balance

Why, when we talk about happiness, do we remember about the spiritual equilibrium? The fact is that there is no wealth of the world, no wonderful opportunities will be able to bring happiness if he does not accommodate mental balance.

It is not so difficult to achieve - regularly pull out your resentment, sorrow and all sorts of small negative emotions. It doesn't matter how you will do it - you can write in the diary, you can simply express it out loud (even alone), you can prove while working with a psychologist. You will quickly find a mental balance!

And there is another important condition - remember that you have the right to negative. In our world, recently negative emotions are under some ban, it is stupid to be offended, and it is long to be upset.

Yes, I agree with these statements. But this is reasonable only if you really can refuse the negative, and not to drive it deeper. If you feel like a resentment, bitterness or anger flooded you, and the circumstances do not allow you to express your emotions, then I advise you to retire and give will feelings.

Believe me, it's better a couple of times a week to pop up the garbage bin and cry in a secluded ladies room, than to choke anger and anger. Get rid of the fact that the heavy stone lies with your soul, help yourself live in happiness and well-being!

1. Start small - this is normal!

The jug is filled gradually, a drop of a drop ...

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "Every Master once was an amateur"
We all start with small, do not neglect small. If you are consistent and patient, you will succeed! No one can succeed in just one night: success comes to those who are ready to start with small and diligently, until the pitcher is filled.

2. Thoughts are material.

Everything we represent is the result of what we think about yourself. If a person speaks or acts with bad thoughts, he has pain. If a person speaks or acts with clean intentions, he follows happiness, which, as a shadow, will never leave him. "

Buddha said: "Our consciousness is all. You become what you think. " Jeims Allen said: "Man is the brain (mind). To live correctly, you must fill out your mind "right" (reasonable) thoughts.

Your thinking defines actions; Your actions determine the result. Proper thinking will give everything you wish; Incorrect thinking - evil, which in the end will destroy you.

If you change your thinking (change the worldview, revise the system of your values \u200b\u200band priorities), you change your life. Buddha said: "All misconducts arise due to the mind (level of consciousness). If the mind (level of consciousness) is changed, will (former) misdeed? "

3. Forgive.

Restrain (insult) and anger in yourself, it is like grab hot coal with the intention to throw it into someone else; But you burn exactly ...

When you exempt those who are imprisoned in prison (your) non-recruitment, you (in fact) exempt yourself from this prison. You will not be able to limit anyone or suppress, without limiting or not suppressing, while also yourself.

Learn to forgive. Learn to forgive faster.

4. Your actions matter.

How many commandments you would neither read how much you would not say, what will they mean if you do not follow them?

They say: "There are no words about anything," and that is. To develop, you must act; To develop rapidly, you need to act every day. Results (i.e. fruits, success, abundance, popularity) themselves will not fall on your head!

Achievements exist, but only those who constantly act can reap their fruits. The proverb says: "God gives every bird of the worm, but does not throw it into the nest." Buddha said: "I do not believe in the destiny that falls on people when they act, but I believe in the destiny that falls on them if they are inactive."

5. Try to understand.

Arguing with the present, we experience anger, we stopped fighting for the truth, we began to fight only for themselves.

Stephen Covi said: "At first, try to understand yourself, and only then try to understand you." Easy to say, but hard to do; You must attach all your strength to understand the point of view of the "other" person. When you feel that you have an insult, irritation, anger will learn how to immediately switch from the level of emotions on (mental) the level of awareness of what is happening. Listen to others, think deeply and understand their point of view, and then you will find calm.

More focus on being happy, (staying in harmony outwardly and internally) than to be right.

6. Win yourself.

It is better to defeat yourself than win thousand battles. Then the victory is truly yours. It will not be able to take it away from the angels or demons, nor Paradise and or hell.

The one who defeats himself is stronger than any lord. In order to defeat yourself, you need to defeat your mind and a way of thinking (character - the level of consciousness is a system of views). You must control your thoughts. They should not be raging like sea waves. You might think: "I can't control my thoughts. Thought comes when she is thinking. " I answer it: you can't forbid the bird fly over you, but undoubtedly you can prevent her to press the nest on your head.

Run the thoughts that they do not meet the life principles for which you want to live. Buddha said: "Not an enemy or a detractor, namely the consciousness (the level of awareness and development, ethics and cultures) of a person lures it on the curve path."

7. Live in harmony.

Harmony comes from the inside. Do not look for it outside.
Do not look far from the outside what can be found only in your heart.

Often we can search for it outside, only to distract ourselves from the truthful reality. The truth is that harmony can be found only within himself. Harmony is not a new job, not a new car or a new marriage, it is not a big bill in the bank, for all occasions ...

Harmony is new opportunities (self-expression of our true me) and they begin with love (to the land - peace, nature, our neighbors (relatives), all mankind; to the sky - Space, God (Higher Raise), Angels, Saints, Teachers - To all creation) and from the disclosure of the heart (with readiness to hug and protect all the creation as a whole and from compassion for everyone who did not find far as far as the harmony in his heart, and therefore suffers).

8. Be grateful.

Let's stand up and thank the fact that if we did not learn a lot, at least we studied a bit, and if we did not learn a little, then at least we did not get sick, if we got sick, then at least they would not die. Therefore, we will be grateful!

There is always something that is worth thank. Do not be so pessimistic that for a minute, even at the time of a quarrel, you are not able to realize thousands of things for which it is worth being grateful (life, fate, the guardian angel - the soul). Not everyone was able to wake up this morning; Yesterday some fell asleep for the last time. There is always something that is worth thank (there is sun, warmth and light, blue sky, air, water, refreshing coolness, beautiful people going to meet you, just laughing children ...) Understand that all this is today You, understand ... and thank you!

A grateful heart will make you great!

9. Be true to what you know.

The most important misconduct is to be correct what you know for sure.

We know (we understand, feel) Much, but do not always make what we know.

If you fail, it will not happen because you did not know how to do; This will happen due to the fact that you did not do what they knew. Go as you know. Do not just assimilate the external (someone else's) information, but focus on your own thoughts, feelings and subtle feelings about who you want to become, how to do what to do what to do with your life further until you have a clarity of the goal (ways And its implementation) and acute desire to act on the basis of internal knowledge.

10. Travel.

It is better to travel (be in a state of going along the way) than to arrive in place.

"Life is a journey! I am happy, satisfied and satisfied today. I can visit the best places and try the best disadvantages, but I ... I prefer to go further ... travel"

Do not postpone your journey to an indefinite time. Strive to achieve your main goal! Start traveling to her today! Go now and enjoy the joy of this excellent condition (consciousness) - walking along the way (exploring yourself and gradually, day after day, aware of the true I - soul).

Who among us do not want to wake up free, happy and natural, with love in our eyes to yourself and the world around? Enjoy yourself and all the joy of multifaceted and fascinating in the uncharted life? Yes, it is to enjoy the fact that you are the only and unique, divine creation worthy of the best.

Evaluation

Change myself, love yourself - and the world around you will change. We have repeatedly heard these words. But is it just like to love yourself? And why, I hear the derogatory replicas in your address, do we agree with them, taking everything to your account?

Similar votes of "Aliens", as if the echo of the past childhood, for a long time, and sometimes all his life, deprive us joy themselves. It works a kind of defensive system that protects the sensual world, but depriving the joy of the feeling of his "me." Love for yourself is sometimes associated with love for our other people.

Dependence on someone else's opinion and evaluation is perhaps the main reason for our dislike. How to get rid of the opinions of ourselves about yourself and love our own "I"? I want to offer you some advice, in my opinion the only true, as a way out of a heavy life problem - "dislike for yourself" so that you finally remembered the exciting dance of life.

1. "They love me and appreciate how much I love and appreciate myself"

This phrase should be the only correct motto of life on the path of love. You will be able to become a source of joy and love.

2. No one is perfect

Remember the words from the film "In Jazz only girls": "Everyone has its drawbacks." Love yourself as it is. Never let yourself humiliate yourself.

3. Do not compare yourself with others

You are especially and unique. Love yourself - it means to treat yourself with love.

4. Take your drawbacks

Relaxation in some situation can be suiced brighter.

5. Improve

You always have a chance to become better. Love yourself - it means constantly working on yourself.

6. Do not think about what others will think about you.

Oh yourself are concerned about what you think about them. Form your positive opinion about yourself.

7. Praise yourself even for the smallest successes

Repeat yourself: "I'm just charm!"

8. Act on the basis of your inner motives

Then there will be no feeling that they did something not in their will. Respect your thoughts, desires and dreams.

9. Try to make decisions yourself.

So you can evaluate our own significance and independence.

10. Be yourself

G ORVORITE AND MAKE what you think. At the same time, of course, without infringe upon the interests of others.

And then you will look at the look, and the smile of happiness and love will shine on your face, and you will transform directly in front of your face ... You yourself will become a source of love, joy, light and strength. You will heal in harmony with you. You will see, you will succeed! You will become the most beautiful in the world. It is necessary to just be in Lada with yourself. And with me, and with the outside world.

Improve and look for yourself! After all, only sobering in yourself, we will be able to take ourselves. Love yourself and enjoy the joy of life as naturally for a person like a bird flying in the sky. This world is for you, this life is for you, and therefore love - for you!