Why am I always angry. I am angry, arrogant, nervous, all from childhood. How to be angry

Doctors believe that - this is increased excitability, a tendency to negative emotional reactions in response to situations that are inadequate to them in importance.

What is irritability?

We all tend to become irritable from time to time. And no wonder, because every day we are haunted by stress, trouble at work, problems with homework. Yes, and we sometimes feel, frankly, it doesn’t matter. But it’s one thing when a person got nervous and calmed down, and another thing - when for the slightest reason he lost his temper, shouted and snarled at those around him, and found fault with trifles.

They are usually spoken about: "heavy character." Literally everything annoys these people: bad weather, minor problems with traffic, gentle reproaches of the wife (husband), innocent pranks of the child. But why do people react differently to similar situations, why do some lack self-control and restraint, while others give free rein to their nerves? What is irritability?

Irritability is largely determined by the type of human nervous system. It can be congenital, hereditary due to a character trait, or a consequence of adverse effects and certain environmental conditions, such as:

severe stress;
responsible work;
an impossible task;
constant lack of time.

Moreover, the most surprising thing is that a person does not know why he is losing control of himself. Subsequently, he may regret his words spoken in the heat of anger, and some reckless acts. Often, irritable people are aggressive, which makes others treat them with caution. But aggressiveness is already an alarming symptom, since many mental disorders are manifested in this way.

If irritability is just a temporary phenomenon, most likely your "thick skin" suddenly worn out, and you began to notice things that previously left you indifferent. A sudden malfunction of the car causes a flash of rage, and to some critical remark of your colleagues expressed from the best of intentions, you respond with such a tirade, which they then recall for a long time.

However, irritability can accompany almost every disease. Very often, people who find out that they are sick with something become irritable and angry all over the world, without understanding why this is happening to them.

Causes of irritability

Irritability may be a sign of:

colds
alcohol or drug abuse;
stress
schizophrenia.

Interestingly, with schizophrenia, irritability and aggressiveness are directed only at the close people of the patient.

A particular form of irritability observed with premenstrual syndrome - 2-3 days before menstruation, a woman becomes nervous, suspicious, restless, does not tolerate the slightest discomfort.

Thyroid disease with the strengthening of its functions are accompanied by:

severe irritability;
impulsiveness;
significant weight loss;
a feeling of heart palpitations.

Irritability may be a symptom of the following diseases:

Irritability treatment

Since too many factors affect the appearance of irritability, the recurrence or constant nature of these disorders should be directed to the attention of the doctor.

Which doctor should I go to?

Irritability greatly spoils the quality of life of a person and his relatives. Constant nervous tension can cause problems at work and in personal life.

The following specialists will help to cope with increased irritability:

endocrinologist;
psychiatrist;

Folk remedies for irritability

Dried mint or lemon balm leaves pour boiling water in the ratio of 1 tablespoon to 1 glass, insist 1 hour and drink half a glass three times a day before meals.

Dried valerian root grind, brew one teaspoon in a glass of boiling water, let cool and strain. Take inside a whole glass at bedtime every day.

Take 20 gr. dried willow tea leaves, fall asleep in a thermos, pour 500 ml of boiling water and insist half a day. Then drink half a glass of broth 3-4 times a day.

Take 50 gr. berries of viburnum, pour 600 ml of boiling water, let it brew for 3 hours and drink half a glass each time before eating.

Calming the nervous system and boosting immunity will help honey. Take 500 gr. of this product, the pulp of three lemons, 20 gr. walnuts, 10 ml of tincture of valerian and hawthorn. Stir the ingredients and store in the refrigerator. Eat 10 gr. every time after eating and at night.

How to get rid of irritability?

If your irritability is a condition that they say that the person got up on the wrong foot, or you just feel out of place, try the following recommendations.

If you feel more irritated, take some time to think about the reasons.

Determining the cause will help you realize the temporary nature of irritability. You must understand that you just need to be more patient and attentive to others. This will keep you from making statements and actions that you may regret about later. If you know in advance that every month two days before the onset of menstruation you will become overly irritable, it will be easier for you to control your emotions.

No need to hide your feelings

Instead of hiding them, just warn others that you are angry on certain days. People become worse if they do not admit to others their feelings. If you do not explain to others that you have increased irritability, they will perceive your behavior with complete bewilderment.

But if you tell them: “I want to warn you that I can do something wrong today. If I seem too rude, please excuse me,” this will help people understand your actions and defuse the situation,

Try to distract from those things that cause you irritation, switching to another occupation

There is an old adage that states: "A man who is busy with work does no harm to others." Some people just need to find something to do for themselves. Go for a walk, wash your laundry, write a letter to someone, water the lawn.

You need to do something to reduce stress and kill time. To do this, you only need 15 minutes or an hour, depending on how quickly you calm down. Thus you can prevent impulsive actions.

You must make sure that your thoughts and actions are subject to your conscious control.

If you are likely to have any of the above, most likely you are not ready wise to do in a difficult situation. If at this point you have to run into someone, you are likely to cause even greater disagreement or complicate the situation, rather than being able to settle things.

Learn to restrain yourself

When someone annoys you and you feel that you are ready to explode, if at this moment you engage in a conversation, wait a while. Postpone the discussion of this issue until, in your opinion, you can not do it in a relaxed manner.

Set yourself in a positive mood

When you notice that gloomy thoughts come to your mind such as: “It looks like today will be a terrible day for me,” try replace their thoughts of positive content.

When you wake up in a bad mood, close your eyes for a minute and try to imagine another picturehow calm and wonderful you will spend this day.

Talk with yourself positive focus. Ask yourself: “I would like to know what good awaits me today?”, “I wonder what new things I have to learn today?”.

Repeat phrases often with words such as “achieve,” “succeed,” so that they are imprinted on your head and help overcome

Irritation in women

Increased irritability in women can be associated with personality traits or be a sign of the development of a disease. They speak of the appearance of a problem when a person abruptly changes his typical behavior.

However, only the doctor can establish the cause of increased irritability after examining the patient. The problem can be associated with both the nervous system and diseases of some internal organs.

Causes

Women suffer from this problem much more often than men. Irritation in women is associated with the fact that their nervous system has increased excitability.

In addition, the constant hormonal changes associated with the menstrual cycle significantly affect mood changes. Specialists identify pathological causes of irritability in women:

ovarian disease;
drug addiction;
thyroid disease;
mental illness (neurosis, schizophrenia and others).

For a nervous person, repeated movements are characteristic. A woman can continuously walk around the room, swing her foot or tap her fingers on the table. Such actions help relieve emotional stress.

Irritability and aggression quite often speaks of psychological overwork, severe stress or anxiety. Such manifestations are considered quite normal and disappear after the resolution of the conflict or problem.

A woman cannot determine the cause of irritability and aggressiveness on her own. Only a qualified doctor can cope with this after a comprehensive examination of the patient. Diagnostics will help you understand what exactly caused the problem.

Treatment

After examining and identifying the causes of the problem, the doctor will develop for the patient individual treatment regimen.

The following treatment methods will help to cope with irritability in women:

drug therapy;
physiotherapy;
reflexology;
hypnosis.

If the problem is caused by any disease, then the therapy will be aimed at treating the root cause. For example, with depression, antidepressants, tranquilizers, homeopathic anti-stress drugs are prescribed. Particular attention is paid to normalizing sleep, diet.

In addition to drug therapy, various modern psychotherapeutic techniques are also used. Autotraining, breathing practices and other ways to deal with irritability help the body cope with difficult stressful situations.

Hormonal disorders in women that affect behavior are also treated with medication. If the problem is associated with malfunctioning of the thyroid gland, then surgery may be prescribed. Removing a node or affected part of this organ will help cope with irritability and aggression.

Irritability in men

Male irritability syndrome is the result of stress, lack of sleep, fear of aging. Besides, men after 40 years subject to fluctuations in testosterone. In this case, the following symptoms appear:

drowsiness;
prostration;
pre-pain condition;
changes in mood;
sexual activity or passivity.

In testosterone surges, a man behaves like a woman in PMS, sometimes even worse. Boys from childhood are taught not to cry, and they get used to restrain emotions. But, hormones will change even the most brutal man. Increased emotionality and a tendency to clarify relationships - this is not only a women's priority. Insidious testosterone makes a strong man a weak and vulnerable creature.

This problem at first glance is solved quite easily - testosterone injections. But, this is quite an expensive pleasure that not everyone can handle, moreover, only a doctor can prescribe these injections. But again, not everyone can inject testosterone, since an injection can trigger a hypertensive or heart attack.

With SMR, men need a patient, attentive attitude from relatives. Their nutrition should contain a sufficient amount of protein dishes - meat, fish. Definitely needed full sleep (at least 7-8 hours a day). Useful moderate exercise.

In some cases, irritability and aggression are treated with medicinesbut only as directed by the doctor. In addition, traditional medicine methods are often used to combat irritability. Medicinal herbs in the form of tinctures and decoctions (valerian, cucumber grass, motherwort, coriander), as well as in the form of medicinal baths, are very helpful.

Questions and answers on the topic "Irritability"

Question:

Answer: Read the previous answer.

Question: Hello, I’ve recently become irritable to any little things. When they take from my plate, when they pinch, tickle, and so on. It used to not annoy me. I think that because of the PMS, but I had never seen such a thing before. What should I do?

Question: Hello! I am 28 years old. I have two children. The problem is that lately, I have become very irritable and nervous. I really love my children. If earlier I reacted calmly to the child’s pranks and vagaries, but now it freaks me out. In the end, I can break loose screaming. As soon as I calm down, I begin to regret my action. I do not want to hurt my family and friends. I want to be a normal, adequate mom for my children.

Answer: Hello. You need to check the thyroid gland, since problems with it are a common cause of irritability and consult a psychotherapist in person.

Question: Hello. At work, they load up work, my partner is on sick leave and I alone do all the work for two. I’m terribly tired, I come home and fall out of fatigue, I don’t want to do anything at home. Tell me what to do, how to cope with this condition. Maybe some drugs?

Answer: Hello. It is rather dangerous to joke with health and work for wear - it is fraught with a nervous breakdown or a severe breakdown. We recommend that you eat right, if possible get enough sleep, walk in the fresh air and not abuse coffee. To maintain physical strength and mental ability, Glycine and multivitamin courses are recommended. These funds are prescribed by a doctor during a full-time consultation. Self-medication is dangerous!

Question: Hello. Please help, I don’t already know what to do, terribly irritable and nutty, I became so after childbirth, the baby should already be six months old, but I should calm down already. I am constantly torn by my husband because of every little thing, because I know what I'm doing wrong, but no, I can not restrain myself. Every day I tell myself that everything is enough to hysteria and it doesn’t work out - as my husband comes from work, I begin to cling to every little thing. What should I do? Please help, give advice.

Answer: Hello. Do not be afraid of irritability after childbirth - this is completely normal. It’s hard for many women to get used to the fact that now they are not left to their own devices, from now on (especially during the first year of the baby’s life) your regimen will entirely depend on the needs of the child. From here comes confusion, and then irritability. But excessive irritability is caused not only by psychological, but also physiological reasons. Feeding and caring for a baby entail lack of sleep and overwork. Lack of sleep and severe fatigue are not compatible with a good mood. Increased irritability is a kind of signal to the expectant mother that she needs to learn how to relax. This valuable skill will come to the rescue not only during pregnancy or at the time of birth, but also much later when you will raise your baby. The easiest way to relax is to turn on soft music, lie down comfortably, and focus on your breathing. In addition, Vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) is very important during this period. It reduces irritability, aggressive mother, stimulates the work of the heart, kidneys. If the condition worsens, you should see a psychotherapist in person.

Question: Good afternoon, tell me what can help me, if this is possible. I am 34 years old. The problem is that I am often annoyed for some reason that makes me aggression or angry, I can put it in bad words, and I catch myself that this is not right, but I continue to “hurt” my family. Is it a clinic or is it possible to get rid of it?

Answer: Hello. You can get rid - you need to consult in person with a neurologist, endocrinologist, andrologist and psychotherapist to determine the cause of irritation and prescribe treatment.

Question: Hello, my son is 9 years old, he is very mobile, but does not restrain himself when the teacher makes a remark to him in the lesson, he starts banging his head on the desk or exploding with crying, he can cover the high school student with obscene language.

Answer: Be sure to show the child to a neuropsychiatrist.

Question: I am a very emotional person. Recently, she has become very irritable, nutty. From itself any trifle can bring. Already she herself was exhausted, and tortured her husband. They diverged several times. Because of nervousness, I’m losing weight very much. What to do?

Answer: In psychology, it is believed that our feelings arise in response to events in the outside world. They help us navigate what is happening in order to understand how to act. Irritability is a signal that some of your needs are not being met; something is not going as we would like; some relationships do not suit you. Such emotional flashes, like bells.

Question: Hello! I have a problem, already like 3 months the desire to work has disappeared, I’m happy about something, I’m relaxing ... Although if I look at everything, I like my work ... I don’t care about anything, neither with relatives, nor with me, nor with friends, I noticed that everything shakes me very quickly, it really infuriates me ... (be it a regular telephone conversation, or a conversation with friends). I don’t even know what to do ... help please!

Answer: The cause of your condition may be an age crisis. You have achieved something, but this is no longer enough; inside you most likely have a feeling that you want something more from life, more colors, etc.

Question: Please tell me, during an illness with acute bronchitis, can irritability, panic, anxiety increase? I just heard the version that with acute bronchitis or any lung disease, the body lacks oxygen in the amount to which it is used or it receives but with great effort. Subconsciously, this is perceived as choking, which is why anxiety, panic, irritability arise. Is that so?

Answer: Hello, in fact, any disease is perceived by the body as stress, and therefore nervousness and irritability during the period of the disease is quite normal. Regarding the theory of "lack of oxygen" we can not say anything affirmative, since a significant violation of the body’s supply of oxygen occurs only with very massive and severe bronchopulmonary diseases.

Hello. I have more and more often started friends, relatives and completely strangers to say that I am nervous, destructive and even angry. Briefly about myself, I can only say that it is partly true. I am very quick-tempered, reserved, peculiar so to speak. I rarely pay, I never cry at all, especially in public. Eternal problems with my parents. They do not understand me and never understand me. They constantly shout at me, break down, criticize my behavior, appearance (build). The most terrible relationship with my mother. It seems to me that she doesn't love me hate me or something. In childhood, I threatened to take me to a boarding school if I behaved badly. I can’t trust her with 100 percent certainty after that. Now I graduated from school. There are no friends at all, everyone has merged somewhere, there is only one a girlfriend with whom I always communicate. There is no young man. Many people wonder why I seemingly not even have an attractive girlfriend. I want a relationship, not even just a relationship, I want a very serious relationship. I want to get married, I want a real family, children. With me never get to know each other, and if they get to know each other, then for a long time it’s not common yutsya.Ne understand what I drive people away.
What should I do? I don’t see an opportunity to live like that. I need to change something. But how? I ask for help.

The answers of psychologists

Hello, Ksenia. I think that in the process of raising children, because of humiliating obedience, your self-esteem by your mother was underestimated. And now you live with this mistakenly. Because of misunderstanding, you have accumulated a lot of anger that you are splashing out now for a barely noticeable reason. You do everything so as not to be loved. You’re used to it, and you’re scared if someone loves you. It seems to you that you’ll quit. I’m bad. And away from sin, you start to show yourself from the worst side. just in case, so as not to get burned. And then, apparently, regret it. EXIT - evaluate yourself again. Not with your mother’s eyes. but with your own. Then your assessment will be magnificent, you will cease to be angry, since a self-sufficient person does not happen evil. You will gradually gain confidence in the male sex. You will become calm and open. And you will not mind dating, choosing a person worthy of himself. Such work requires labor. And better, accompanied by a psychologist. If you decide, contact. I am at your service.

Good answer3 Bad answer0

Hello, Ksenia! You are well done because you are aware of your difficulties and understand that you can deal with them.

They really can be dealt with. To begin with, I suggest you divide your difficulties into groups: 1) relationships with parents (they do not understand); 2) fewer friends; 3) it is not yet possible to build long-term relationships with young people; 4) You think that you are nervous, angry, irritable.

In my opinion, when the difficulties are all in one heap, you don’t know which side to approach, and when they are divided into spheres, you can already deal with them in turn.

In fact, you get a sort of “circle”: parents don’t understand - it doesn’t work with guys — there are few friends — I get angry and nervous. And when I get angry and nervous, my parents don’t understand, there are few friends and relations with guys do not work out. Work with emotions will help you. When you learn to better understand yourself, your emotions, control them, the situation in your life will change for the better. In all areas.

You can work on yourself, but it can take years; Or you can turn to a psychologist to get long lasting positive changes. Any way is possible. So if you decide, come, I accept in Barnaul.

Good luck to you!

Good answer6 Bad answer2

Looking for the answer to the question “why am I so angry”? Let's try together to find out what is the cause of your higher aggression, and how to get rid of it.

Causes of anger

So why are you angry? There can be any number of reasons. Let's try to sort out the points.

For example, you did not have time to finish work on time or did not meet your loved one. All this runs counter to the goals that were set earlier, from which you fall into an aggressive state.
The second reason for anger may be related to your physical condition - you are tired, or just your nerves are at the limit, but there is no strength to do anything at all, and from that you begin to get angry and annoyed.
Anger can also be a reaction of a ban on expressing feelings. This is usually associated with emotionally intense work. For example, if you work as a teacher, educator, or seller, then throughout your working day you will have a taboo on the public expression of your feelings. And sometimes I want to say everything that you think to a student who is rude in a lesson or an arrogant buyer who is trying to impose his communication. But you have to restrain yourself, and inside, meanwhile, a volcano of anger and irritation boils.
Why I became angry, you continue to ask. You can also get angry if you have to do someone else’s job. Suppose mothers often get angry with their children if they don’t walk the animals or clean up after themselves. If you work in a team, then you can get angry at your colleagues, because you all worked together, and the assessment of work will be one for all. You may not have the strength of mind and courage to express everything directly, but inside you, however, are offended and angry.
You can also get angry if you violate your personal space. Suppose you or your child are harassed on the street - retaliatory aggression will be the most adequate and normal phenomenon.

As you can see, we found several reasons why the girl is angry. Now let's try to figure out how to overcome this anger and become kinder?

How to become kinder

First, let's figure out how to respond to the situations that we described above.

Learn to accept the fact that life is changing, so you can’t promise anything one hundred percent, even to yourself. We also recommend reconsidering selfish goals. Suppose, instead of getting angry that the meeting did not take place, you can simply live in peace and harmony with your loved one.
If you are angry because of fatigue, only a good rest can help here.
You can find a way for yourself to help let off steam and accumulated negative emotions. There are many such methods, for example, you can enroll in a gym and discharge on simulators.
If you are angry with your colleagues, we recommend reading the book by C. Prior, “Don’t growl at the dog,” where you will find answers to all your questions.
If your personal boundaries are violated, then aggression in this case is quite common. Therefore, in this case, getting angry is quite appropriate.

And here are some more tips for becoming kinder:

try to be more responsive, help people not only with advice, but also with deeds.
be a tactful person, because what you said can easily offend, but if you did say something evil, apologize.
be calm, because irritation provokes hot temper. They don’t really want to communicate with such people.
know how to listen. Let the person speak, and he will appreciate this your support in the future.

Man differs from animals, among other things, by the presence of a wide range of feelings and emotions. Anger is manifested by people everywhere: at home, on the road, in public transport, at work, in nature, with friends, etc. That is why there will always be someone who wants to understand why a close or not very person is aggressive, what is the nature of this phenomenon. And some especially gentle and kind young ladies will even seek advice on how to become evil.

Definition and essence

For starters, you can see what dry scientific interpretations say. According to explanatory dictionaries and reference books on psychology, anger is an emotion or a feeling of anger, hostility, aggression, frustration or rage caused by someone or something that prevents a person from getting what he wants. It can be directed both at some object specifically, and at a group of similar objects, and also may not have a specific addressee. There are two types: with a positive effect on the individual (for example, in sports) and with a negative one (for example, the desire to inflict physical harm on someone or commit illegal actions).

Instinct for survival

Nature has worked hard on the creation of man, both physiologically and psychologically. Much of what we call today is actually nothing more than instincts. For example, in order to express his attitude to what is happening, a person has learned to laugh or cry. And in order to defend his place in the group and in this cruel world, the homo sapiens had no choice but to become angrier. It was the manifestation of aggression and hostility that helped our ancestors to stay in a harsh world, where every day was a struggle for life in the literal sense. This instinct is inherited and it is unlikely to succeed in getting rid of it. Yes and whether it is necessary? And the fact that over the years we get angrier is explained very simply: accumulated experience, unfulfilled dreams, a subconscious understanding of the approaching end. These are all tricks of nature, so to speak, a component of the survival instinct.

We are not like this, but such a life

Yes, it’s very simple: change the environment! It is the people around who often become the cause of aggression, cruelty and anger. For example, a child from a family with a dysfunctional emotional environment is unlikely to grow up kindly. And this applies not only to asocial elements, such as alcoholics, drug addicts or gamers. Most likely, the child will grow up evil in the family, where they often shout, scandal or even fight. In adulthood, everything happens the same way. When surrounded by aggressively-minded fellow students, colleagues, friends or neighbors, a person willingly or not adjusts to the situation. All this is due to the manifestation of the same instinct laid down by nature: in order to survive, there is nothing left but to become angrier.

Do not come - kill!

Very often subordinates are afraid of their leaders and, discussing orders and instructions among themselves, are accused of excessive aggressiveness. What caused this? There are two possible answers. Firstly, power literally drives many people crazy. Instead of striving for something new, to develop and learn, they choose the path of self-affirmation by humiliating the dignity of others. Constantly emphasizing their superiority, such individuals feel better, more confident. The root of this behavior most often lies in the improper upbringing or stress experienced in childhood or adolescence. But another option is possible. For example, a young, smart and beautiful employee was suddenly appointed the head of the department, which employs a dozen young ladies who are not very tuned to productive work. Or in this office there are exclusively men who do not take seriously the leader in a skirt. Of course, it will not be easy for her to subordinate such a team and force her to work, and she will probably choose the path of becoming angry and making subordinates afraid of herself.

Still waters run deep

Most often, evil ones are not of their own free will, but because of any circumstances. For example, a man became angry after he lost his beloved job, or burned out in business. His aggression and hostility can be addressed both to individuals, whom he considers guilty of their failures, and to the whole world, if the reasons for what happened cannot be blamed on someone specific. This can happen even to those who were previously considered an optimist and a merry fellow.

Or another example: a sweet, quiet and modest girl became angry after she was abandoned by a loved one and went to her childhood friend. The transformation of the gray mouse into a real bitch happens quite often, because either a broken heart is accompanied by very strong emotional experiences that awaken the dormant feelings in our minds before that.

Unrealized ambitions or the collapse of dreams can change the psychological state of absolutely any person, even a very kind and friendly person.

Fashionable emotional trends

If someone complains: “I’m getting angry, I don’t know what to do, I shout at everyone and I hate everyone”, etc., you should advise this person to get like-minded people. Perhaps among them, he or she will feel better and more confident. Today, not surprisingly, it is becoming fashionable to be aggressive and lonely. On social networks, whole groups of such hermits are created who do not believe in the power of Good, but from childhood they are convinced that Evil is smart, insidious, cunning, strong.

Is anger good or bad?

So, why a person becomes evil, of course. The causes and nature of the phenomenon are clear. But is it bad to be evil? Everything created by nature has its own meaning and purpose. Sometimes the manifestation of aggression is vital for the individual to survive or stabilize the psychological state. If you need to cause a storm of emotions, then there are several ways to become evil. Firstly, you can in an extremely unpleasant situation and lose it in your mind until you get the desired result. If the imagination fails and nothing happens, it is worth trying the second method. To do this, you need to surround yourself with irritants: turn on the TV show or music, which cause obvious rejection, change the temperature in the room to an uncomfortable level or put on uncomfortable clothes. Quite a bit of time - and the person is already “angry like a dog”.

The main thing in this matter is a sense of proportion. You can’t hold back your emotions and you must give them a way out, but if anger is already breaking through the edge, then you can moderate the ardor a bit, for example, go in for sports such as boxing or wrestling, leave darts, shoot at the shooting range, or, at worst, to travel far beyond the city into a dense forest and shout to this world everything that you think about it.