Revenge. Why do we hurt each other. How to make a person understand that he hurt you? This dog hurts otherwise meme

  - a comic meme from the Cyanide and Happiness series in which two people discuss the Doberman. The owner says that the dog “hurts in a different way” and she begins to say offensive or offensive things.

Origin

The comic with the Doberman first appeared on May 18, 2015 in the Cyanide and happiness series. In the original, the guy asks the owner of the dog, does she bite? “Do not worry, her barking is much worse than bites,” the source said. In the next shots, the Doberman bites a person, and this gives him a lot of pain. But then the dog begins to bark, which leads to a much worse result.

In November 2015, the first comic parody appeared, in which, instead of the usual bark, a Doberman pronounces offensive words, from which a person breaks half of his body.

Only a year later, in October 2016, the meme got to reddit and became popular. There, the comics were reduced to four panels, and the phrases changed. The result is an option in which a person asks if the dog bites, to which they answer: “No, but she does it hurt otherwise” (No, but he can hurt you in other ways).

In this form, the meme began to spread over the network and soon reached runet.

Value

The meme “Does she bite?” Or “Does it hurt otherwise” in an ironic way shows offensive and insulting phrases that can harm a person more than an ordinary bite.

Each person at least once in his life avenged other people. Often we take revenge without even realizing it, so let's talk ...

Each person at least once in his life avenged other people. Often we take revenge without even realizing it, so let's talk about this topic so that the processes go on consciously.

Every time we hurt another person, with a few exceptions, we take revenge. A conscious or unconscious desire to take revenge is born out of resentment.

Resentment can be on a specific person, or on a situation, or on life in general.

For example, people who were not loved or offended enough in childhood often grow up uncomfortable in communication, prickly, critical, live their minds and raise their minds at the forefront, not being able to give love and warmth to other people. It is clear that they are often harsh, categorical, intolerant of others, which, in essence, is a manifestation of subconscious revenge for what they themselves did not receive. Such people often do not like children and pets, because deep down they are sad to see that someone is receiving love, while love is not enough for him.

How does the desire to take revenge appear?The man felt offended, and in response he has a desire to take revenge - very often, unconscious.

That is, if you have a desire to hurt others, or you are annoyed by happy, successful people surrounded by love, it makes sense to look for a grudge that provokes a latent desire to take revenge on other people, even if not with your own hands (want to be happy, successful, loved ones ceased to be such).

Freed from resentment, you are automatically freed from the need to take revenge. The indicator here will be the changed attitude towards people who previously annoyed you with their successes.

To free yourself from resentment, you need to see her and resentment.   This is not always easy, because there are grievances:

• deeply hidden (hard to recognize)
• stupid (it’s hard to admit that we, such reasonable ones, have it),
• too painful (at the slightest memory, there is a sharp mental pain that you don’t want to go into at all. But you have to!),
• old (a hundred times already fruitlessly worked out - why come back to them, it still won’t work).

Here is everyone’s personal choice - how much do you want change? Is it strong enough to risk leaving the zone of familiar comfort, or are not ready yet?

It is also important to have the courage to see something unpleasant in yourself, to learn something unpleasant about yourself. After all, more often we try to keep a certain more or less pleasant picture of ourselves, so that we can relate to ourselves well, respect for something. If dark colors are added to this picture, the illusion of balance is disturbed, we will feel unsettled, we will have to look for self-esteem again somewhere, for which we can continue to love ourselves. It's Complicated.

The path of change is often similar to the path of destruction. Moreover, sometimes the picture of the world collapses completely, and yes, it can be very difficult to survive.

The choice is yours - continue to take revenge, suffering from this and causing suffering to others, or to free yourself from claims to someone (something) and continue to live as a free person.

Let's say the choice is made, the insult is recognized, pulled to the surface and ready to be worked out (I remind you that we got insulted through the desire to hurt someone).

The most effective way to get rid of grievances, I consider the division of responsibility.   This is when you review the offensive situation and begin to see where it is your responsibility and where not yours. Then you leave yourself only your responsibility, and give someone else’s (most often resentment arises when we take someone else’s responsibility). Or vice versa, take your own, which you transferred to others.

For example, the wife was offended that the husband gave her the birthday present not the gift that she wanted. The wife’s responsibility here - since she knows what she wants - to convey to her husband information about the desired gift. It is the husband’s responsibility to decide whether he will follow his wife’s desire or take the risk of giving something else. If the wife did not convey her desire to her husband, then he is not responsible for her dissatisfaction. The frequent female argument “could have guessed” does not count, because - if you hadn’t guessed, then you couldn’t. In this case, taking offense, the wife shifts her responsibility (for not reporting the information) to her husband. When dealing with this resentment, she takes her own responsibility, and the resentment disappears.

An example of the opposite, when we assume someone else's responsibility:   you helped someone, and the person did not order your help the way you planned. Helping or not is your decision, not his. In what form (form, size) to help is also yours. The rest is already his. If you help with the condition that help will be used only in a certain way, then this condition should sound, and the person must give consent to it. If it has not been sounded and consent has not been received, he is not responsible for your disappointment.

These are common examples, in each situation there are nuances and they need to be analyzed carefully and in detail in order to reach the correct division of responsibilities.

If you see yourself wanting revenge, this is only a symptom. Behind him is an insult that needs conscious work. The resentment will disappear, and the desire to avenge will disappear, and it will be a great victory and relief, believe me. And one more reason for respect and self-love, by the way.published

  - “All in the Family” Single Korn from the album “Follow The Leader” Released 1998 Format ... Wikipedia

See excite, offend ... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. under. ed. N. Abramova, M .: Russian dictionaries, 1999. hurt ... Synonym dictionary

To hurt, offend, hurt, insult, unmask the Dictionary of Russian synonyms ... Synonym dictionary

Insult, hurt, touch upset; attack, stab, ulcerate; deprive, deprive, bypass; cause trouble. He defeated me bitterly. There is no life from him (he died), he cuts me with a blunt knife, stabbed me without a knife. To hurt (to bully, ... ... Synonym dictionary

Cm … Synonym dictionary

To hurt, to offend, to hurt, to insult, to offend the Dictionary of Russian synonyms. unmask see insult Dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language. A practical guide. M .: Russian language. Z. E. Alexandrova ... Synonym dictionary

Poison the soul   - Simple. Express. Deliberately or inadvertently hurting someone, touching in conversation what is unpleasant to the interlocutor; upset, cause heartache. In this look, the pain for the lagging farms, for these frail centners, small ones, also mixed ... Phraseological Dictionary of the Russian Literary Language

  - “All in the Family” Korn single from Follow The Leader album Released 1998 CD format ... Wikipedia

FROM A STICK   - do that l. Under duress, under pain of punishment. It means that a person, a group of persons (X), not wanting to fulfill their duties or whose task, forced to do it. It is said with disapproval. inform ✦ X does that from under the stick. invariable. ... ...

FROM THE LANTERN   - do that l. Without any reason, without understanding the essence of the matter. It means that a person, a group of persons (X) does not consider it necessary to understand well what to delve into the essence of what Problems; refers to the decision of which question ... ... Phraseological Dictionary of the Russian Language

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You may need to learn how to make someone feel guilty in order to let a person know what he actually did. Here's how to do it effectively.

Many people will tell you that it’s wrong to try to make someone feel upset or guilty. True? Not really, if you need a person to understand your feelings. The only way to do this is to figure out how to make someone feel guilty.

If a person doesn’t care and he just enjoys life in this way, then he will continue to do the same. He may hurt you again or hurt someone else. If you want him to know how painful you were, show it.

Feeling guilty is a very strong emotion, if a person, of course, feels it

Many people ignore guilt. They do not want to admit that they did something wrong. They simply do not pay attention to it, even forget about it afterwards, if no one reminds them. But it’s very important for people to feel it.

Because guilt can teach lessons. The more a person is worried about this, the more he realizes what he has done. And those who ignore guilt often repeat the same mistakes, only each time their “pranks” appear in a uglier and more “toxic” way.

How to make someone feel guilty so that he is aware

It is necessary to make the person feel guilty. But what can hurt you even more is when the person absolutely does not care. This is often the result of his ignorance. If you really want someone to feel guilty, here's how to do it.

Define your feeling

You cannot scream about pain if you yourself do not understand how painful you are. Are you pissed? Offended? Want to hurt this person?

You really need to think about the emotions that swarm in your head so that you can determine exactly what they are. Once you recognize them, you can reason about why this person made you feel that way. Only then can you work to make him feel guilty.

Take time to plan

You cannot go up to someone and start screaming about how painful you were done. It almost never works and ends up looking like crazy. And do you really think that a person will feel guilty when they shout about it in the face?

Not. You have to spend some time first of all to make an action plan. Sit down and think better about how to get the attention of this person so that you can talk with them about important things. Having realized how you feel and what you want to say, you can go to the next step.

Present arguments

Just do it, but not aggressively. The person will already begin to feel guilty when you tell him about your pain. No one wants to admit that he upset someone. And so he will avoid you if you begin to bring charges.

Instead, make sure you are calm and can talk about things in a civilized way. Even if you are really angry at heart, try to look nice and adequate in appearance so that you can really hook a person before he begins to defend himself.

Make a person feel involved

Often people do not feel guilty because they cannot understand what their fault is. This misunderstanding arises from the fact that they consider themselves not involved in the fact that you are hurt. In order to fix this, you must talk to them so that they can understand everything.

Therefore, explain the situation in an accessible, understandable way. Analogies are great for this, as you paint the same situation in a new light. So the person will be more understandable.

Let him see that it hurts you

It’s normal to show your pain. You do not need to force yourself to hide it. If you want to cry, then cry. Show the person what pain he caused you.

However, control yourself so that he does not think that you are very dramatic. Trying to hide how you really feel will make the person think that you are cheating. And all the stories about how painful you are will be perceived as a farce.

Draw his attention to yourself

It is not always useful to indulge dramaturgy, but some people need it. Sometimes you literally need to go crazy to get the attention of the offender. So make a show. If you weren’t able to reach it in another way, this may be your only option.

Once you understand that you have caught his attention, slow down. Try to make sure that he understands what you are driving at. Otherwise, he will just get angry and refuse to listen to you.

Treat him accordingly

It hurt you. A person has done something bad to hurt you, and you must treat him accordingly. You can not even talk to him later. Treat him as if he had done something terrible, and you do not like it.

Avoid it and even insult if necessary. Some people need this kind of “treatment”, otherwise they will not understand how they did badly. If you behave in the same way as always, they will think that you have not been harmed, supposedly everything is in order.

Talk about it logically

Do not talk about yourself all the time discussing why it hurts. Tell us what happened logically. Eliminate yourself from this equation. Show that someone was hurt in this situation, and it's not just you.

Some people think that a person is just too sensitive, and not as painful as he says. A logical explanation of why you feel this way can help them understand that the problem is not your sensitivity.

Talk seriously and find out the opinion of the offender

Most people just want the other to feel guilty, that's all. They do not care what pushed them to such actions.

But you must. Perhaps the person did not even want to hurt you. So let him speak. Listen to him before attacking with your grievances. You will be able to understand much more than if you used any other method.

Accept that he doesn’t care

You cannot change everyone. Some people, no matter how hard you try, never admit that they did wrong. They immediately begin to defend themselves, and they do not care who they hurt.

You cannot expect someone to feel guilty, always. After a while you will realize that they really do not care and they will never admit their guilt. Live your life and do not allow yourself to restrain your feelings.

This information will help you open your eyes to the offender and show how painful and unpleasant what he did. This may not be easy for you, but if you want to stay with this person, you should teach him a lesson.