Where to move when you do not know what to do. Where to move on if you don’t feel your way? In. Work on self-esteem

Surely, each of us at least once in our lives found ourselves in a situation where we ask ourselves the question: what to do next? How to find a way out?

Sometimes we are visited by a feeling of dissatisfaction with what is happening in life, of fear of the future. And at such moments there is a feeling that you do not know, but what to do next.

The first thing to do in such a situation is to calm down and extinguish any negative emotions

To make important decisions, you need to return your consciousness to a state of positive, or at least calm. And only then think, analyze. Allow yourself to relax and be alone with yourself and with your inner voice.

It’s good to do meditation, to calm yourself. Go to the park for a walk, escape from the bustle, contemplating the harmony of nature, and enjoy the wonderful moment here and now.

If there is an opportunity - it’s very good to change the situation and go to some new place, to be distracted. Watch a good movie that will set the perfect wave, inspire, raise confidence.

Listen to good inspiring music. After all, music always emotionally relaxes and connects to the stream of creativity, bringing to the mind new thoughts, ideas.

When you have more or less calmed down, proceed to the second step.

Create a list of what you do not like and makes you uncomfortable

What really does not suit you, and what you want to get rid of. Analyze what led you to this situation. What conclusions can you draw from this life experience? And then let go of the past - it is no more.

Two monks came from the monastery. When they approached the river, they met a girl who asked to be transported to that bank.Vows were forbidden to the monks to touch women, but nevertheless, one of them put her on his shoulders and carried her to the other side.
Then the monks continued their journey, and the girl continued her.An hour later, one of the monks could not stand it and asked the other: “Why did you do this, because our vows forbid touching women?” To which the second monk replied: “I transferred it an hour ago, and you continue to carry it still.”

Third step - speak to your inner voice

And think about what thoughts make you feel warmth and love. That is what is truly yours. Everything else is “garbage” that you need to get rid of.

A parable in the subject ...

God blinded a man from clay, and he left an unused piece.
- What else to blind you? - asked God.
“Blind me of happiness,” the man asked.
God did not answer, only put the remaining piece of clay in the palm of a man.

The fourth step - write on a piece of paper all the possible solutions to the situation

After you have decided what is yours, write on a piece of paper all the possible solutions to the situation that may come to your mind and which will help you advance towards your goals and desires.

Do not restrain yourself and do not limit yourself; thoughts are non-standard, as Albert Einstein said: “It is impossible to solve the problem at the same level at which it arose. We need to get higher than this problem by rising to the next level. ”

Make a plan for the day, week, month. To do this, let yourself go, your mind, and give yourself free rein and freedom to fantasies.

The fifth step is to take action.

And realize your dreams and goals according to your plan. Here and now begin to enjoy a life that will bring a joyful feeling to every moment.

Everyone is endowed with tremendous power. Stop creating circumstances that interfere with your happiness, and begin to consciously control reality. Like plasticine sculpt everything you want

Parable of the circumstances

The student comes to the Master and says:

Teacher, I’m tired, I have such a hard life, such difficulties and problems, I’m always swimming against the tide, and I don’t have any more strength ... What should I do?

Instead of answering, the teacher put three identical pots of water on fire, threw carrots in one, laid an egg in the other, and poured coffee in the third. After a while, he pulled a carrot and an egg from the water and poured it into a cup of coffee from the third pan.

What changed? he asked the student.

The egg and carrots were boiled, and the coffee dissolved in water, ”said the student.

No, not only, this is just a superficial look at things. Look - hard carrots, having been in boiling water, became soft and supple. The fragile and fluid egg has become hard. Outwardly, they did not change, they only changed their structure under the influence of the same adverse circumstances - boiling water. So people who are strong outwardly can come loose and become weaklings where fragile and tender only harden and get stronger.

What about coffee? - asked the student.

ABOUT! This is the most interesting! Coffee dissolved in a new environment and changed it - turned boiling water into a great aromatic drink. There are special people who do not change due to circumstances - they change the circumstances themselves and turn them into something new and beautiful, taking advantage and knowledge of the situation.

Finally, I will share one wise statement of the Buddha who said: "There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way."

So start today to turn your life into a path of happiness, regardless of which direction you are moving!

Hello readers of my blog! Each person during his life sometimes has difficult situations, the way out of which, due to circumstances, is difficult to detect, and sometimes there are simply not enough internal resources to look for him. Therefore, I devoted today's article to the question: “If there is a dead end in life, what should I do?”

1.If you admit that you are at a dead end, do not despair

Sometimes it takes time to realize the problem. Indeed, in order to know where to go, it is important to understand where I am coming from and where I am right now, right? This is a very important process, and if you do not give yourself the opportunity to gain strength and look around, constantly scrolling through your head in the current situation and tormenting yourself with solutions, you will simply waste your internal forces and reserves. So allow yourself to pause and just stay. Sometimes switching to other tasks helps, then the output itself is detected.

2. Change your attitude

Indeed, no matter how difficult it may be, but every crisis and ambush that has arisen is such a very motivating way to go beyond the boundaries of your comfort in order to achieve changes in the level of quality of your life. Indeed, many of the accomplishments of great people occurred precisely after a long period of stagnation. It is important not to give up, but to understand that you are on the path to breakthrough, when the accumulated energy nevertheless reaches its goal, and this “suspended" state will sooner or later cease.

Thanks to such difficulties, a person gains experience, his inner strength, maturity and awareness grow.

3. Responsibility

The support of loved ones is very important at such a moment, but we should not forget that only you are responsible for your life. Yes, they can help you with advice or even financially, but you should not just expect help, relying on circumstances or other people. This is your life and only you decide how to live it, and only you make efforts to satisfy your at least basic needs.

4. Guilty

Sometimes we make a big mistake in the fact that when we fail, we spend energy searching for the guilty. Instead, focus on the problem and think about how to get out of this situation. A dead end has happened, and if you shift the blame to circumstances or other people, this will not help you advance, but only increase the temptation to do nothing with it.

5.Testing is a gift

Sometimes some tests are given to us so that we realize that the usual way of life no longer satisfies. The usual ways of building relationships no longer work, that we are moving forward, and we just need changes. In the case of ignoring the need for personal growth, a person becomes static, “canned”, up to the point that it can lose the meaning of life.

6. Benefits

No matter how hard it sounds now, but sometimes a feeling of helplessness and the inability to solve a problem is beneficial for us and for some reason we need. Some get attention, others don’t have to make a lot of efforts to ensure comfortable living conditions, as another has taken on this burden ...

It happens in different ways, listen to yourself, if you are at an impasse for a long period, maybe you really need it for some reason now? And then, instead of looking for excuses, it will be relevant to find the courage to admit to oneself in this.

Reflection method

This method is good in that it helps to find an answer within yourself about how to get out of a sense of hopelessness. When it seems that we are moving in a circle, day after day, being in the same state of anxiety and the desire for change. To do this, select the time and place where no one will disturb you, turn off the sound of your mobile phone and take a sheet with a pen.

Record all thoughts and answers

• Describe the problem or situation that you intend to find a way out of. Details every moment and nuance.
• Close your eyes and try to identify your feelings. It can be: anger, disappointment, powerlessness, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, irritation, etc. One feeling can manifest itself, and sometimes a lot at the same time, tangled up like a ball.
• Now listen to the sensations of the body, where the tension arises, possibly even pain. It is likely that when you realize something, your head may begin to feel dizzy, or a lump in your throat may appear.
• Now describe the thoughts that arise. No matter negative or positive, just write down each. Sometimes the answer lurks on the surface, so even the smallest detail is important.
• Connect your imagination and try to imagine the worst case outcome. If your greatest fear is justified, then what will happen? Consider mentally all options, what is terrible in them? Give shape to your fear, when it’s not just something voluminous that scares you, but when you look at it from different angles, it often happens that there really isn’t such a terrible thing, and it’s quite possible to cope with what you were very afraid of initially.
• And now, on the contrary, dream up about which scenario would be the best option for you? What exactly do you want together with this sensation of impasse? Try to clearly and in detail present what you want, and sometimes it happens, like with fear, when there is some general volumetric desire, but what it consists of is not clear, not at all specific.
• Explore the beliefs that arise when you think about solving an existing problem. Those that pause you in actions. For example: “I am weak and nothing will work out for me”, “I will not be able to earn so much money” ... and so on.
• And now, reformulate these beliefs into positive ones, which are called affirmations, how to do it right, you can read in my article. And as often as possible, repeat them to yourself, thus, over time, the subconscious will be programmed for a positive result, which will greatly simplify your every day.

Methods that help restore resources to overcome difficulties

1.Creativity

With the help of creativity, it is possible to release the accumulated and unconscious energy. Sometimes an ordinary drawing gives an answer to the most difficult question, because you know the saying: “everything ingenious is simple”? Therefore, take a sheet, pencils or paints, and try to portray your hopeless situation. It is not necessary to be able to draw beautifully, let it be just lines, spots, dots, anything, but symbolizing your state. Allow your hand to move; do not control accuracy and clarity.

Then, when you feel that the drawing is ready, listen to yourself, what feelings do you feel towards it? What thoughts come to mind? What do you want to do with it? Save, hang in a frame, or vice versa, tear, mash and burn? Do what you want, these manipulations will help you go a little beyond the usual view of the situation and free yourself from the accumulated feelings.

2.Sports

Or active physical activity. When your body can relieve all tension, and you will feel tired, your thoughts will become much clearer. Sometimes it’s important to just get distracted and direct energy in a different direction.

3. engage in meditation

She will help you relax and hear your true desires, listen to yourself, allow yourself to just be at the moment. And if you make contact with yourself, it is likely that you will find a solution to the problem very easily and unexpectedly. If you do not know the technique of proper relaxation, you can familiarize yourself with them in the article.

4. Work with the subconscious

Also, I recommend starting your own business immediately. work with the subconscious. This is a very strong part of a person that is not amenable to direct influence, but in turn, it greatly affects us.

Conclusion

That's all, dear readers of my blog! It was important for me to convey to you the idea that if you get into a dead end and you feel an insoluble situation, you should not despair. There is always a way out, you just need to be able to wait and look for a way out of it. It may not be right away, but you will be sure to get out, all people go through it, you are not alone in your experiences.

For example, you can familiarize yourself with the article, and you will realize that it is quite possible to move forward from absolutely any turmoil and crises, while achieving enormous changes and achievements. The main thing is to believe in yourself! Do not forget to subscribe to blog updates, there is still a lot of interesting things! See you soon.

Ira, well, you probably heard that at 40, life is just beginning? By the way, this statement is not without meaning; statistics honestly speak about this. What is the secret here ?! The fact is that a woman at 39 begins a turning point and a reassessment of values. Sometimes her life changes drastically, though it’s not always smooth, but often painful and with an eye to the past, mistakes that could not be made in youth.

But the fact is that it is at this pearl age that a person becomes a little more relaxed, not so afraid of losing anything, not holding on to a straw like a drowning man, but trying to drastically change his life. This can be facilitated by the amount of time that you had in connection with the loss of work, and visiting old friends who can help, and adventurism, that is, the desire to start something that you were afraid of before.

It certainly wouldn’t hurt to learn something clever from smart people, and I think you are already taking steps in this direction, that is, you are trying to turn to specialists who will help and discharge the burden of the past and give optimism for the future, and you can also teach such techniques, which will significantly support your nervous system and give a fuse to start through life. Read my profile, I think you will find a lot of useful things there. And contact. By the way, a useful instructive parable in verses, which I once wrote, can shake you and light you with a small spark to achieve, well, not immediately happiness, but the path to it. with uv. Alexander Pidenko.

HAS NO HAPPINESS

or PARABLE ABOUT LIFE. Pidenko A.N.

Vein was in the arms of the desert

Among the sands, not knowing another dream.

And spent all nights alone

Dry wood shelter without attaching your own.

And the days were hot and the nights were cold

A loose abyss of reptiles, guarded your hour.

And you didn’t know that fate prophesies to you,

He only knew that the Most High Hurricane would reward.

He ripped out a tree, mad along with the root,

Dunes churned, denoting hell.

And the poor bird, scorched by grief,

It remains only to fly where the eyes look.

Days flickered, she rushed through the winds

And the distance attracted, giving hope a chance.

And here he is, a garden of fruits where branches are full,

Water purrs, cool beckons the eye.

With a smile, God looked from heavenly heights,

After all, he sent a crazy hurricane,

Thus, giving the poor things the strength of life,

Correct share, happiness, finding among distant countries.

But why is she poor thing so tormented?

And she didn’t know that somewhere could be better.

And sometimes the fear of change is so great

that many are ready to live in hell and suffer so much

what if worse? And only intervention yet

more fear makes them make a difference.

And why didn’t God make an oasis right on the spot, but drove the poor

a bird over three seas? What is she guilty of?

But imagine, there would be no desert, bird, hurricane -

would I write this poem? Probably not! It would be nice

or bad? And so many will figure out Ptitsin’s share in himself. Cat in the teeth

and begging for a piece of happiness in the wide world.

It turns out that the bird was not a bird at all, but a scapegoat?

And life for her was not boring. And there you watch the oasis will be scribbled,

will remember at night about his native dry tree and youth passed on it.

Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer, "Ira, well, you probably heard that life is just beginning at 40? By the way, this statement is not flattering, see ..." to the question http: // www .. Can I discuss this answer with you?

". I answer the question of Marianne from St. Petersburg:

"Alexander, good afternoon.

To begin with, I want to write that I am a happy person and everything is fine with me. In short, I am 28 years old, I am married and live in St. Petersburg quite a happy and normal life ...

In a month there will be exactly a year since I quit a large (very large) Russian bank ...

She quit because she could not bear the pressure from the leadership, incomprehensible tasks, obvious bribery, and there was a lot more. But the main thing is still a system built on squeezing people out, some kind of non-humane attitude. Then, and today my husband’s income allows me not to work, but when I quit, I didn’t expect to be left without work ...

And then I thought - well, if so, then you need to gather strength and start all over again. Now, after all, all these slogans are in fashion, like: "Find a business that you love, and you will not have to work a single day in your life." Yes, it’s easy to say, but to do ...

How many tests for vocational guidance have been passed, how many books on psychology have been read ... In general, in life, I am a pretty addicted person, I’m happy to take on something new, but as soon as I learn it, I’m completely bored.

So about the signs - I was waiting for them and waiting, waiting, waiting ... I was waiting actively: I went to the cinema, to the galleries, met with old friends, in general, I waited from everywhere. I was waiting for something to be pulled somewhere, something will start to take shape, and it will spin-turn. But now it's been almost a year, and I still don’t know what to do ... I am sending a resume to vacancies that seem interesting to me, but with my long experience in banking, they do not even call me back. And, to be honest, I'm not so sure that they are very interesting to me - you just have to do something, how much you can sit in one place ...

And I was thinking - is it true that this fate is pushing us to some changes, pushing us to change our path, or is it still a person who must first want something, and then the universe will hear his desire and begin to adjust everything around under his desire? Perhaps, while I myself do not know what exactly I want, the universe is sleeping a sweet dream and is in no hurry to help me with my signs?

It seems to be all. I have long been thinking about these questions, but no one can tell me the correct answers to them. And what to do, where to move on if you do not know and do not feel your way? ..

I wish you and your family happiness, Marianne. "

There is a hunt in every person. The desire to live. There is a hunt. Hunting for the toilet.

When you go after your hunt, you do not need the help of the universe. You do not need reasons and persuasion. You can hardly be stopped by anything.

When you were impatient in the toilet, you are unlikely to say: "I’m not sure if my choice is right. What if it’s a mistake? What if I wander along the way? Well, there must be some sign from the universe that I need. "

Hunting is a sign!

It also does not occur to you to resist hunting, following your logic: "I don’t have time for this now." Or: "In vain did I, perhaps, go to bed for so long - I will do what I am tuned in to." If you resist, leave a puddle beneath you. That’s the whole philosophy.

Your favorite business is laid in you by hunting in the same way. Do not "want". The hunt is not born, it is taken out from under the rubbish of duty, suppression, other people's debts, other people's stories. And then released and washed, it will drag you like a powerful diesel engine, the universe will hardly keep up with the help and gifts.

The path to your hunt is the path to yourself.

“I don’t know what I want,” is too convenient a phrase for doing nothing. I carried it with me for years. Sometimes there is a real desire to relax behind it. Then rest. Sometimes it’s a fear to admit that you have already heard and understood everything, but you refuse to go. Then go to fear. More often than not, self-pity is behind her. Then you need to start with her.

Is it possible to poke around, in search of our cause, like our heroine? Of course, I always did this when intuition was drowned out. The method of exclusion. But this is a long time. I know for a long time. It’s much faster to ask not the headhunters what my next step is, but myself. And he will answer.

He already answers you. He repeats to you daily. We hear, but it's not that. Here   more about learning to hear yourself.

Have a good hunting!

People often end up in hopeless situations. The truth is that getting into them is very easy, but getting out is a real work on your understanding of life and the problem that has occurred. But still, you can find a way out, only it will be so painful for us, it depends only on us and no one else.

What to do when you do not know what to do?

Faced this? I am sure - yes. From time to time, we all find ourselves in situations where we feel lost and helpless. This, as you might guess, is not good. :) And it’s very nice to figure it out, understand what is happening and how to deal with it. Well, what is happening, at first glance it seems obvious - something a person does not know ... and-and-and that's all?

Of course no. Such things can happen to us even when we are well prepared in the sense of knowledge and even experience. In one of my previous articles, I already said that any negative is a habit. Moreover, the habit that we got most likely from a very early childhood. In this case, everything is just so.

All habits work like computer programs, that is, a clear sequence of commands. And they are triggered by the events that happen to us. And if this event resembles in some way an unpleasant event experienced by you in your distant childhood, then it is very likely that you will experience those experiences that you experienced then. And in childhood we all very often felt perplexed.

Well, with that I think everything is clear. The main thing is that from this it follows just the understanding that we have to confront the habit. And they act very much like reflexes. What do we do if it becomes necessary to resist a certain reflex action? We prepare  yourself to him, so that at the right time to do not what he requires.

So it is here. However, there are too many moments where we could potentially feel bewildered ... what is it that we constantly walk in anticipation? Of course not. And it will not work, although being in a state of vigilant expectation is the best strategy of behavior. But we will proceed from our real possibilities. And all we need to do is to accustom ourselves IN ANY UNEXPECTED SITUATION to begin to breathe deeply and evenly.

This is very easy to do if you make a minimum of effort. Every day there is a sea of \u200b\u200bunexpected trifles with us, which we usually do not pay attention to. But now you can use them to good use: I realized that the event was unexpected - I began to breathe deeply and evenly. In a few days, this will begin to happen without much effort. And the most interesting thing will happen when you have already gained the necessary experience and something happens that really unsettle you. You will catch yourself starting to breathe evenly and deeply, remember - why you trained this action and the actual meaning of this article.

All these actions will not allow the confusion program to start and you will quickly figure out what is best to do in this situation.

The very first thing is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, assess the situation soundly, and fight pessimism and fear.  You need to fight with your fear, which does not allow you to breathe deeply. We must accustom ourselves to look positively at the current situation and the whole world that surrounds us.

Accept Choice

Making a choice is not easy, and it doesn’t matter which area of \u200b\u200blife it will concern. And when between the two roads, we think where to go, we are constrained by the fear of the wrong choice, and we remain in place suffering. Therefore, you always need to go forward, being responsible for each step you take, as an adult, independent person does. You need to control yourself, learn to weigh the positive and negative consequences, accept that you too can be wrong.

First step

No need to be afraid that you are mistaken. Try not to ask yourself a question: I just don’t know what to do in this situation, what to do? There is no person who does not make mistakes, even the smartest and wisest people make mistakes. You need to be thankful that you have your own “chest with experience”, that you get  since this is the most important thing that is in your life, and it is this experience that will make you stronger and stronger to bear other hardships of life. So, take control of life into your own hands and in no case allow fear to command your actions! Also, do not be afraid of changes in life, only in the swamp everything flows quietly and calmly, and in the mountain river the water always boils. So, do not be afraid to leave your comfort zone! It is always worth repeating to yourself both aloud and to yourself that change is only good and any change will lead you to a new, better result. Doing such a mini-training on yourself, you will begin to understand that your hopeless situation is just a situation from which there is more than one way out.

Change attitudes

You are not the only person on Earth who has been in difficult situations. There are so many famous and famous people experienced the hardships of life and more serious. And how many unknown people survived? We think a lot! You can easily find several similar stories on the Internet and read how people were able to get out of them. We repeat again, perhaps you just do not want to get out of the habitual state of your life, but that is what you need. This very often happens when people maintain an outdated relationship, or work at work that brings only a negative impression, because they do not respect you and do not value you. Why it happens? The fact is that the reason for our hopelessness is low self-esteem. That is why it is important to understand our problem and to get out of it, no matter how hard it is for us.

Work on self-esteem

When you say to yourself: what to do, I don’t even know - this means that your self-esteem is greatly underestimated. So start working on it. If you do not, then you did not take  you will be more likely to return to your former deplorable place. You need to love yourself and not be “holy,” that is, allow everyone to mock you or turn the second cheek for a slap in the face. And you do not need to be lazy, because often it is laziness that causes a deadlock problem. Telling everything around your "fables" and excuses, you begin to believe in them yourself! So, think carefully about what you are saying, perhaps you yourself have “talked” to yourself a problem, and just be lazy to solve it.

Laziness is your enemy

Fight laziness as if it is your worst enemy! Boost your motivation, not just say the words in the wind. You can write down possible solutions to your situation on paper. Record even the most fantastic, for example: “fly to the moon” or “teleport someone to Africa”. Write everything and read through time, you will see that out of all your notes, a few are worth applause!

Pity away

Who did not enjoy the pleasure of self-pity? "Like, I'm so unhappy, pat me on the head, say that everything will be fine ..." But how it will be fine, no one at that moment asks ... On the contrary, set goals, forget about people who offend and bring you only negative in your life, even if you depend on them financially, think about how to solve this addiction. Do not allow people to pity you, do not allow to admit that you have no way out, that “rock of fate” is to blame for everything, this is all untrue! Look at the elite of the country there, many are “stuck” in life due to their strengths. Imagine also for a moment James Bond. Think, would he feel sorry for himself in such a situation, would he sit idly by? The answer is obvious, of course not! We hope that you have a little understanding of your problem and realized that for the most part, our problems are far-fetched and are purely psychological in nature.

Therefore, if you say to yourself: I just don’t know what to do, then you need to stop and think about everything that happens and in the process of thinking nothing do not take  and then go ahead and arrange your life!

So 7 steps

Step one - calm down

Give up, stop tantrums, stop tearing your hair out and fainting from uncertainty.  Allow yourself to relax: take a bath, drink a cup of coffee (tea, compote). Cognac is better not to get involved. If possible, be sure to sleep well.

Step two - forward to nature

How often do people in cities, especially large ones, close in their birdhouses. And if you read these lines, then you probably dive periodically into social networks, personal diaries, network games and other delights of the Internet, from which it is not so easy to break out even for a person with a stable psyche.

So, forward to nature! Preferably for a week. But if circumstances do not allow - for the whole day. If it’s really bad, spend 2-3 hours in the park with a dog, with a bicycle, roller skates, with children or just, alone with yourself, contemplating the harmony of nature and enjoying the beauty of the current time of year.

After that, fear will begin to dissipate, anxiety will melt away. And useful thoughts come from Olympus. If this did not happen, then

Step Three - Release

Take a piece of paper and write everything that you do not like in your life. Describe in detail the situation in which they drove themselves, or someone drove you. Describe someone well, just in case (he won’t know about it). Do not spare the paper.

Make a decision that it really does not suit you. Then you can, without much regret, part once and for all with your unloved work, harmful friends, with the emotions of fear, pity, anger.

Forgive everyone, and yourself in the first place. Forgiveness will set you free and give you extra energy.

If you feel sorry for something, you will have to live as you lived, until you press it again.