How to speak correctly - secrets of good form. How to learn to communicate with people: expert advice

The world is so arranged that some people talk too much without stopping for a second, while others in society cannot squeeze out words. What is the reason for this? The inability to express one’s thoughts, maintain a conversation and conquer the interlocutors with filigree syllables depends primarily on the complexity and self-doubt, and not on a lack of intelligence, as many believe. However, to continue to shut itself in, calming the soul with the dubious “I do not like to communicate with people and I will not!” not worth it at all. Even scholars with a rich inner world, who have read more than one hundred books and are remarkable for their remarkable intellect, may have difficulty communicating.

The word is one of the strongest tools of man

The ability to communicate and influence people by the power of words is considered the golden quality of modern man. Without correctly constructed phrases, you cannot conclude a contract, make a banal congratulation at a wedding, win the heart of a girl, not to mention the fact that many promising professions will be inaccessible to you. In the beginning was the word, and it will always be.

“Every thought expressed in words is a force whose action is unlimited.” These are the words of L. N. Tolstoy, once again proving that we need to learn and be able to communicate with people. People who can masterly use the word are universal favorites, all doors are open to them, it is much easier for them to build a career and achieve their goal. Their secret is that they know how to communicate with people, they know where, when and what to say, where to keep silent, and where to argue. However, they do not have any extrasensory abilities and developed intuition. Everyone can master the art of communication - there would be a desire.

Secrets of a fruitful conversation

The basic principle of communication with people is based on the mirror rule: "As you are to others, so are they to you." Your rudeness will cause a negative response, inattention will be paid for with the same coin, and sharp gestures, jerky speech and the habit of interrupting will make you one of the most unpleasant interlocutors.

So how to communicate with people correctly? The most important components of a good conversation are:

politeness;
interest;
interest;
attention;
moderate gesticulation;
unhurried and calm speech;
sensitivity and responsiveness;
listening skills.

As you see, nothing supernatural! No need to memorize jokes and long tirades, no need to show tricks to be appreciated, only elementary politeness - and the interlocutor is supportive of you!

Consider the 10 basic rules of communication, having mastered which, you will become one of the most pleasant interlocutors.

Smile is another secret weapon from the arsenal of beneficial means for people. After all, who would like to talk with a person on whose face a lifeless, detached expression froze? The same can be said of a person who constantly smiles - he can be mistaken for an abnormal one. The main thing in the conversation is to maintain balance. Smile politely from time to time, but don’t laugh out of place, especially at the moment when you are told about your problems, but also not laugh through force - the laugh made is visible a mile away.

When communicating, try to look into the interlocutor’s eyes, while continuing to maintain a polite interest on your face even when the topic of the conversation is completely uninteresting to you. People do not like those who look to the floor or to the side - this speaks either of the dishonesty of the interlocutor, or of his bad education. Follow these two rules, and soon the problem of how to communicate with people will be irrelevant for you.

Moderate gestures

In the psychology of communication, along with a smile, gesturing is no less important. Try not to make sudden movements during the conversation and not to fuss, giving the impression of a nervous person. And even more so do not tap the mobile phone on the table, do not drum your fingers, do not look at yourself in the mirror and do not paint your lips. The interlocutor at best will consider that you are bored, and at worst - will form an opinion about you as an ill-mannered and uncivilized person.

All people, without exception, welcome unhurried, soft gestures, open postures (no arms crossed on the chest) and palms. At the same time, follow the widespread method of “mirroring”: imperceptibly repeat the interlocutor’s gestures and sit in his pose. The method works flawlessly - a person at a subconscious level will feel some unity with you, and then sympathy.

I can not communicate with people, or How to start a conversation

Such situations have happened to you when you just needed to start a conversation, but you did not know how to start it, with what words and on what topic? In such cases, choose any universal secular topics, such as weather, news, work, people around you, cars. If you are aware of the interests and hobbies of the interlocutor, the best move is to ask him a question from this area, and then ask him to enlighten you. Communication will be provided to you!

If you are in an unfamiliar society, it is better not to enter into a conversation until you are inspired by the “common spirit” and understand what people are interested in. To do this, just carefully listen to each speaker. Your position of the listener in combination with accurately directed clarifying remarks will be appreciated, because everyone likes to speak, but only a few can listen.

Do not interrupt

This is perhaps the main principle of any conversation on which the ability to communicate with people is built. Unnecessary remarks, transferring a conversation to one's own person, impatience, not a desire to listen, but a desire to speak out, while brazenly interrupting a speaker, will not please anyone. Such behavior will soon disperse the circle of your communication, for selfishness, dominance and lack of sensitivity in the conversation characterize you as an extremely unpleasant interlocutor.

Listening is what everyone needs

Ask the right questions.

However, silently listening to the interlocutor, having managed to not utter a word for his entire monologue, is also not a good option. Ask him questions from time to time, showing your interest and making it clear that you like to have a conversation with him and listen to him. Try not to overdo the questions, otherwise the conversation will smoothly flow into the framework of the interrogation. Those who find it difficult to communicate with people can begin to deal with complexes with this particular method. Moreover, the questions may be something like this: “Yes? Really? And then what happened? Yah! Is it true? What are you? What's next?" In this case, in a conversation it is not recommended:

criticize the profession of the interlocutor;
unceremoniously interested in his income;
confused his name;
upload it with your problems;
show excessive familiarity (clap on the shoulder, shake, grab the button, etc.);

enter into a dispute;
by all appearance to show their superiority.
to be arrogant and arrogant, according to the principle “I do not communicate with anyone, but condescended to you (la), so be happy”;
not admit his wrong, although this is obvious.

Try to communicate with everyone kindly, politely, avoiding slang and cronyism. Do not complain to everyone in a row about their unfortunate fate, low-paying job, tyrannical boss, friends-traitors. You will be listened to one, the second time, but the third time they will start to avoid, because you have a bad habit of sowing negative. If you are open, optimistic and responsive in communication, the doors to any society will open before you.

Control negative emotions

How to learn to communicate with people and make long contacts? To do this, first of all, you should work on yourself, on those qualities of character that prevent you from attracting people to you.

The ability to communicate with people is a special kind of art that also needs to be worked on. This means that a person must be able to admit his mistakes and try not to allow them in the future, as well as control negative emotions.

Broaden your horizons

So that you are in the eyes of people not only an ordinary listener, but also a person with whom it is pleasant and interesting to talk, actively expand your horizons. Read books, be interested in news, events, people. You must admit that a conversation with an erudite interlocutor is much more entertaining than with a person who cannot connect two words. For a fruitful and fascinating conversation, not only the rules of conduct are important, but also what you can give to the other side, if you can understand your interlocutor and maintain a conversation on a particular topic. After all, a comprehensively developed person knows how to communicate with people correctly, knows how to quickly adapt to a conversation and quickly finds a common language with people.

Speak clearly and clearly

To learn how to communicate - communicate!

Many people, feeling awkward and embarrassed when talking, try not to talk to anyone, thereby exacerbating their situation. A person who avoids communication will never be a good conversationalist! You will learn to conduct a casual conversation only in the case of active communication. Put aside your complex “I'm afraid to communicate with people” and start talking. No one requires you to have a fiery speech from a leader, an exciting speaker’s story, a persuasive monologue for an advertiser, you can just ask questions, talk on familiar topics and listen. Remember, the more you communicate, the faster you will learn the basics of communication. At the same time, you don’t need to complicate your life by reading literature on this topic, study hundreds of sources on the Internet and carefully prepare every word. You just need to communicate, regularly training skills with different people.

Talk with sellers in the market, in the supermarket and boutiques, communicate with colleagues and acquaintances. Each conversation, each new meeting will become a brick in your experience and will help to increase self-confidence. Record your monologue on video and watch facial expressions, gestures, and speech. You will immediately understand what needs to be worked on, and what is your advantage. Train and remember that the power of a word is great, multifaceted and can have a powerful impact on your life.

We hope that we have given comprehensive answers to the question of how to learn how to communicate with people.

What prevents us from communicating easily and simply with people - talking, keeping in touch? After all, speaking is one of the most important abilities of a person.

There are many reasons, among which the most popular:

Shyness,
- fear of saying stupidity,
- fear of being misunderstood,
- unwillingness to express their opinion -

and many other excuses that hide the psychological problem of communication. How to communicate with people properly so that this process brings joy, how to reveal the secret of the ability to talk and negotiate.

Why can't I talk to people correctly

The ability to communicate with people is required daily. Thanks to the ability to speak, we can communicate our thoughts, make friends, confess our love, achieve career growth and maintain confidence in any life situation. The whole life of a modern person consists of intersections with other people, and communication skills are simply necessary.

But what if the conversation fails? Fear, isolation, inactivity, insecurity - all this makes it impossible to find a common language with the interlocutor. The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to solve the mystery of effective communication.

Communicative interaction is the action of transmitting and receiving information between people. It seems that everything is simple and clear. But for some reason, a failure occurs, and a person cannot easily perform these same actions. The reasons lie in his psyche, which defines thoughts, hidden motives, priorities. Regardless of education or age, communication psychology is closely related to a set of desires and values \u200b\u200bof a particular person, called vectors.

The rules of communication psychology: for whom it is important

For the owner of the anal vector, the problem will be the fear of disgrace, saying something is wrong, out of place. Excellent memory and the ability to analyze past events carefully preserve in his thoughts all past mistakes and mistakes.

The innate tendency to perfectionism and attention to detail make him constantly scroll through his head a different set of conversation options, think about the next word. Therefore, his speech is slow, burdened by many details, often unnecessary to the interlocutor. If you interrupt him during a conversation or make him speak faster, he may fall into a stupor and lose the thread of the conversation.

The tendency to generalize bad personal experience instead of the productive use of their analytical abilities in professional activities inevitably leads to fear of communication. And even if such a person starts attending trainings on communication with people, problems will most likely remain. The set of rules and recommendations received there, shows how to work on the investigation, but will not be able to remove the cause of uncertainty and difficulties in communication.

And this is the main thing - to realize the reasons for your fears and problems. This is like a medical diagnosis. When it is precisely set and the cause of the disease is determined - it can be cured. Knowing how the psyche works, its properties can be used to the benefit of others and oneself for joy.

It is scary to communicate with people: how to overcome yourself

And if you are scared not only to communicate, but even to live? The huge emotional amplitude of the owner of the visual vector plays with him sometimes evil jokes. The range of emotions from unlimited happiness to the same unlimited grief and longing. A stunningly rich imagination throws up fantastic stories with catastrophes, killings and innumerable troubles.

It is people with a visual vector that have intense fears, panic attacks and anxiety.

The innate fear of death is the root emotion, as the reason for the variety of phobias remains with the visual person, when all his thoughts revolve around fear for himself and his own safety. He begins to be afraid to communicate with people, playing in his head fantastic stories about robberies, violence, murders. The spectator’s fantasies are so vivid and exciting that he begins to believe them, live in a fictional reality and cannot get out of there.

The paradox is that fantasies are transferred to real life. The more the viewer is afraid for himself, the more fears he has, the more often he finds himself in a situation where he becomes a victim of stories that are no longer made up. He cannot be confident. He “smells” of fear, “victim”, and everyone smells this smell - from dogs that growl and bite such people, to rapists and robbers.

The advice of psychologists on how to overcome fear, overcome oneself, stop being afraid, does not give any result. And that is understandable. After all, again we are trying to fight the investigation, not understanding the cause of any fears, including the fear of communicating with people. Awareness of their properties and desires allows a person to get rid of all the problems associated with hypertrophied self-care and self-fear.

Empathy with other people, their relatives, friends, friends allows the viewer to establish lasting emotional contact with the interlocutor and share his sorrows and joys with him. In this case, the fear goes away and there is no communication problem at all. On the contrary, they are drawn to such people. They want to be with them, feeling genuine sympathy and empathy.

How to learn to communicate when you are not interesting to me

Sound engineers are generators of ideas. But with whom to share them? Who can understand and discuss them? Ingenious in potential, but difficult in communication, as if the sound lovers are fixated on themselves and their thoughts, they often close in themselves and make poor contact with people. They cannot clearly and simply express their thoughts, because they themselves understand the meaning, and it is no longer interesting to pronounce the whole chain of words.

Egocentrics by nature, arrogant and “most intelligent,” people with a sound vector can engage in spiritual self-improvement, the psychology of which is to know what is not in the material world. Of course, finding like-minded people for such communication is not easy. But if this happened, then two zvukoviki will discuss the higher worlds, spiritual topics or be silently happy, sitting at night under a starry sky.

To answer eternal questions - who am I, where and where are I going? - the soundman needs to realize his desires and features. Having realized that his main desire is to know himself, people around him and the meaning of life, a sound engineer can get out of his “shell” and begin to know the world around him. Transferring concentration from one’s inner states to others completely solves all the problems of communication with people.

Every day, a person interacts with other people through communication. People encounter each other at school, work, various events. Communication plays an important role in a person’s life, helping him to develop, receive certain information, experience. But what if a communication barrier arises? How to learn to communicate with people?

The reason a person cannot start a conversation is called a barrier. Why does it arise?

Firstly, a person’s inability and lack of desire to listen to his interlocutor can act as a barrier. He tries to start his speech when the opponent is still talking. Without the ability to listen, a person cannot succeed in those areas of life where the main link for achieving a positive result is communication with people. After all, when the interlocutor is constantly trying to interrupt by inserting some kind of thought, it is very confusing and annoying.

Lack of desire to listen is a slightly different problem. In this case, the opponent does not interrupt, but simply shows his complete indifference to the conversation. The reason for this may be that the person is not interested in the topic of the conversation, or he already has an opinion on the problem being discussed, and he is not going to change it.

In this case, it is necessary to remember that the interlocutor can pretend that he is interested. As a result, it turns out that a person is wasting time on this conversation. You can check whether the opponent is listening to the speech. To do this, just ask the question: "What do you think about this?" If a person has not heard the last of the above, then he will not be able to express his opinion.

Secondly, a barrier can act as an inability to demonstrate that a person is really interested in the problem being discussed. A conversation is much easier when all its participants like the topic of conversation. However, if the interlocutor simply shows interest, without actually having it, then communication will not make sense. But often the fear of offending a person makes him silent about his indifference to this topic of conversation.
Thirdly, a barrier may be a lack of desire to understand the feelings of your interlocutor. It often happens that a person starts communication without paying attention to the opponent’s mood or what feelings this topic evokes in him. And this is a very important point in communication.
Fourthly, the fear of opening up before them prevents talking to people. Usually this is fully manifested when people just met. Not every person is ready to open his soul to another, because for this it is necessary to be confident in him and fully trust him. Although some people may at the first meeting tell about themselves everything that is also not desirable. You must carefully talk about yourself, choosing what to tell, and what is better to keep silent.
Fifthly, the fact that people often have too different levels of development and education can interfere with the start of a conversation. The easiest way to interact among themselves is people who have almost the same intellectual level. If the interlocutor is tall, then the opponent tries to please him somehow, to take an example from him, to acquire some skill.

Worst of all, when one person has a lower intelligence level than another. Then the interest in the conversation will be minimal, there will be no desire to support it. But even from such a pattern there are exceptions.
For example, if the interlocutor was engaged in mental activity all day, then he is unlikely to want to talk on serious topics. Then he can easily support any informal conversation, even if the most trifling. Therefore, in this case, the intellectual level of the opponent will not play any role.

Psychology of communication with people

The psychology of communicating with people is based on some rules. A well-known psychologist and writer Dale Carnegie was able to form them best. He has in his arsenal excellent and well-known books on communication that were written back in the 1930s and 40s. At the moment, they have remained as relevant.

It is important to be really interested in other people. After all, every person believes that he is unique, therefore he wants to be interesting to society. Typically, the interlocutor is more likely to enter into a conversation with the opponent who is most interested in him. At the same time, little importance is paid to what he says.
You must always smile. A smile is the tool that helps you get a conversation partner. She demonstrates the pleasure of communication.
Do not forget about the name of the opponent, because this is the most pleasant word for any person. During the conversation you need to call the interlocutor. The name expresses individuality, so many people do not like it when someone incorrectly calls it.
It is very important to listen to a person. With this skill, the opponent shows his attention, interest in the conversation. Unfortunately, not all people can listen, trying to wedge themselves into a conversation faster, expressing their point of view. It is necessary to carefully listen to the interlocutor, ask him questions, and show your emotions, when appropriate. If you still remember some good phrase of the opponent, and then express it during the conversation, then he will be doubly pleased and there will be no doubt as to whether he was heard.
The conversation should be built on what interests both participants in the discussion. It is good if a person can determine or already knows a topic that definitely will not be indifferent to the interlocutor. This will help to win over a person.
You always need to show a person that he is significant. At the same time, this must be done exclusively sincerely. This is a very difficult moment in the field of communication psychology. The opponent can always feel false interest in him, simulated admiration. Even if people prefer flattery, he can still feel some discomfort. Therefore, one should find in a person those sides that actually seem to be unique and the best, and praise him for them.

People who are isolated are faced with the inability to step over themselves to pronounce a phrase in order to maintain a conversation. But this skill is necessary for every person as much as the ability to write and read. Psychologists have created some recommendations on how to learn to communicate with people.

You can practice well on inanimate objects. You can just talk to your furniture, for example, tell your desk how great today's day was and what interesting events were happening.

Experts say that such an exercise actually allows you to learn how to communicate with people correctly, express your thoughts, logically build sentences, train your facial expressions and gestures. However, for many people, such an undertaking seems delusional. In any case, you can change the furniture to a pet. For example, a dog will always faithfully listen to all the stories of its owner.

Another exercise is praise. When a person enters into a conversation, he should always try to compliment his interlocutors, to highlight their special qualities and skills. Many are embarrassed to express their feelings, but everyone knows that people love to be praised.

In this case, it is important to take into account that kind words should be sincere, come from the heart. Do not specifically flatter, it can be noticeable.

The best type of exercise, how to communicate with people around you, is direct communication with random opponents. You need to set a goal every day to enter into a conversation with a stranger. For example, having come to the store for groceries, you can talk with the seller about the quality of a particular product.

Or when you need to find a specific address, you can ask random passers-by how to get to it. Also, entering the room, you can greet the concierge affably, ask about her mood, talk about the weather, and so on. When talking with strangers, it is important to always smile. It puts people to each other.

Facial expressions and gestures in communication

Learning to speak with people correctly is not everything. It is necessary to acquire the skill of correct gestures and facial expressions. Sometimes body language speaks more than the words themselves. When the interlocutor speaks, the people around him evaluate not only speech, but also the location, movement of the arms, legs, head, eyes.

In order for people to listen to speech, it is necessary to adhere to the following rules:

It is important to learn how to look at the person you are talking to. Sometimes a person has such a look that another has a lump in his throat and is afraid to say anything. Therefore, it is necessary to look at the opponent openly, look away, constantly show your interest in him. Depending on what topic is being discussed, the view may be different. Do not look “face to face”, this creates additional stress during communication. If your interlocutor is trying to look you directly in the eye, you can look in their direction, but without focusing your eyes on them. Look through the person’s face.
It is necessary to monitor your facial expressions and facial expressions of your interlocutor. A person always expresses any emotions on his face. You can learn to recognize the mood of a partner by facial expressions, as well as express feelings using it.
You need to be able to determine the mood of a person by gestures. If a person crosses his legs, presses a folder to himself, hides his hands in his pockets, then we can say with confidence that he is trying to fence himself off. Then the conversation is unlikely to be open and interesting from the first minutes.

The pose should be open, gestures smooth and slow, palms open. This will indicate that the person is calm and ready to talk. Some people who skillfully use psychological techniques often use the "mirroring" method. It consists in repeating the gestures or posture of the partner after a short period of time. This technique allows people to open up better.

Communication with others is an integral part of human life. Without this, personality development is impossible. To acquire a communication skill, you should constantly practice it. The more a person will talk with people, the faster he will lose all the constraining barriers that were in his way.

What is the difference between a pleasant and repulsive interlocutor? Is it all a matter of a natural inclination to communication? In fact, in 90% of cases, it is not talent that saves, but resourcefulness, self-discipline and continuous work on oneself. It's no secret: every detail is important - posture, facial expressions, gestures, tone. And if these components can be quickly controlled with the help of physical efforts, for more competent speech something more will be required. How to speak correctly and be a great storyteller?

Use verified data

Dissolving gossip harms the reputation of a decent person. And gossip is any unverified or dubious information. To avoid embarrassing moments and not to put yourself in a bad light, it is better to use only reliable facts in the story.

However, there are situations in which any detail is important, even unlikely. Then, in order not to mislead the opponent, the sentences begin with phrases:

“I'm not sure if this is true, but ...”;
“I heard such information from neighbors / acquaintances / passers-by, but I don’t know how much it corresponds to reality ...”;
“I do not have a definite answer to this question, but there are several hypothetical versions ...”;
“I think so, but it’s quite possible that I’m wrong. Double-check the information in directories or with specialists. ”

In other words, these statements have only a hypothetical, hypothetical connotation. The interlocutor clearly understands: the information may not correspond to the truth. However, the details will help to find the answer, will set the direction.

Armed with arguments

This applies to controversial issues. Even if the question has an irrefutable answer, the interlocutor may not know about it. In such situations, one cannot insult an opponent, laugh at him, or blame him for ignorance. Attempts to insist on an answer without due argument will also be futile. Therefore, a better explanation would be a detailed explanation with the announcement or demonstration of evidence. They can be:

research results;
real life examples;
material evidence - video or audio recordings, photographs, samples;
authoritative literary sources - reference books, encyclopedias, textbooks;
statistics, experiments, logical conclusions.

Keep speech clear

Fashion has even touched on colloquial speech. Therefore, words of foreign origin have become the norm. Sometimes they really come to the rescue, as they save time, help to briefly describe phenomena, objects that are difficult to translate into their native language in one phrase. However, sometimes these “linguistic aliens” sound ridiculous.

“To showcase the fashion collection, we’ll open the Beauty Center.”

“Team building will be held at open air place.”

“There is no connection with a cleaning worker.”

How can I explain to a person who is used to normal speech that these sentences refer to a fashion show, a corporate event, and a cleaning lady? In order to avoid semantic errors and misunderstandings, it is better to use Russian analogues if possible.

A few more problems of the modern “fashionable” language - slang, jargon, intentional reduction of words. The phrase “grandmas are spinning like that”, uttered by the CFO, will not add to him respect or trust. And the words “hey kulnaya chiksa, don’t ho’ ride a wheelbarrow? ” It is unlikely to help establish a healthy romantic relationship. Is funny Nevertheless, these are realities, for their confirmation it is enough to listen to the conversations of others. The result will be rather deplorable.

A huge ulcer on the body of speech is obscene language. Most often it is used for three reasons:

an attempt to attract attention, seem older, “join” the company (for adolescents);
creating a comic or emotionally rich effect;
expression of negative emotions.

And now is the time of paradox: scientists have found that swearing is good for the body, as it makes it easier to bear pain. It turns out that the “sharp word” sometimes helps out? Perhaps, but not at all during a business meeting, communication with a stranger or as an insult. Therefore, one should not forget about the framework of decency.

Do I need to talk about illiterate speech? The rules of conjugation, declension, pronunciations exist for a reason. They show the level of education, culture.

Pay attention to sound

Loudness, timbre, clarity of pronunciation have a significant impact on the interlocutor and the public. No less important is the tone of the narrator. It is unacceptable for an educated person to conduct a conversation in an arrogant, arrogant tone. You can not give your voice excessive caution - it degrades and insults the listener.

Good conversation in which the sound is appropriate for the situation.

When communicating with children, an emotionally bright, positive, cheerful tone is used. Defense of a scientific work requires a neutral, narrative sound. Sellers of “adult” goods lower their voices, speak slowly, often use semantic pauses.

What will happen if everything is interchanged?

Will the kids like the dryness of a research assistant? How will the audience of scientists react to the unusual voice of the speaker - low, hoarse, with a slight aspiration? And what happens if in a sex shop a shy buyer suddenly stumbles upon a too loud and funny seller?

Make contact with the interlocutor

During the conversation, it is important to take the time to your opponent. Otherwise, it turns out only a boring, long monologue. One-time, because no one wants to meet such a “talker” twice. A few rules for polite dialogue:

show respect, call the interlocutor by name (name and patronymic);
ask questions - simple and rhetorical;
forget about monosyllabic or vague answers “yes”, “no,“ maybe ”,“ who knows ”,“ let's see ”;
look at the interlocutor, do not ignore him, do not be distracted by trifles;
maintain distance according to proximity.

The conversation resembles the passes of the ball: he himself said - pass the ball to another player. It is completely impolite to keep this ball in the hands of a good half an hour, and then leave with it, without having made a “pass”.

Find a balance between theme and digressions

Jokes, lyrical and philosophical digressions, memoirs, secondary themes foster interest in the conversation. But only if they do not ignore the main subject of the conversation.

A person comes to the clinic to find out the cost of services. He is not interested when this hospital was founded, what doctors work here and how many diplomas the local nurses have. Yes, this is important information, and you can mention it, but after the price has been announced and without intrusiveness.

Avoid the taboos

If the interlocutor is an unfamiliar person, it makes sense to limit the range of issues discussed. This will save you from embarrassing situations and conflicts. Such topics include:

religion;
politics;
attitude towards sexual minorities;
diseases
any problems in the life of the interlocutor;
intimate, personal issues;
gossip, discussion with a negative bias.

You can talk about work, culture, hobbies, institutions, animals and so on. Discussion of topics from the list is permissible only with a loved one who inspires confidence and shows it in response. If a new friend suddenly begins to touch an awkward topic, you can try to smoothly change the subject of conversation or directly, but politely declare your unwillingness to discuss this issue.

Advice on how to speak correctly may seem easy, but practice proves the opposite. To successfully apply them, you will have to learn self-control, develop mindfulness. A good interlocutor monitors his speech and reaction of the opponent at the same time. He always accurately observes when it is better to change the subject or stop the conversation altogether. Such skills require careful work on yourself. But it is they who serve as the calling card of a person with whom it is really pleasant to communicate.

The basic principles of the psychology of communication are based on the literary works of researchers of human behavior in society. A number of rules developed by Dale Carnegie back in the 40s are still relevant today.

To competently build sentences and make a good impression on the interlocutor, use psychological techniques:

Be interested. Do not yawn or be clever. Show that you sympathize with a person, show interest in his activities.
Evoke positive emotions. Do not hide your smile. Scientists have proven that smiling people are more successful.
Call a friend by name. A personal appeal is a verbal compliment, by this you show that the information is intended specifically for the interlocutor.
Be careful. An important quality is the ability not only to hear, but also to listen.
Show respect for your opponent, ask leading questions, be surprised at the facts heard and show more emotions.
Find a common topic. Try to win favor, do not be shy and lock yourself in.
Build friendships with a neighbor and with a business partner.
Be sincere. Groveling and flattering is not the best move. The simulated delight will only push away the interlocutor. Praise those qualities that truly delight you in a person.

Advice! If it’s hard for you to communicate with strangers, practice on the phone.

Lack of visual contact will eliminate constraint. Call a hairdresser or beauty salon.

Prepare for the conversation in advance, make a list of questions if you are confused in the process of communication.

Communication skills development

The psychology of communication is an art. Even an introvert closed in itself can become the soul of a company. One only needs to know a few "tricks" of building relationships.

Skills	Development
Observation	Note the details, follow the non-verbal behavior of the interlocutor in order to pick up the communication style in which you will come to an understanding
Memorization	Remember what your friend is talking about. Pay attention to the personal details of his life, hobbies to accidentally mention in a conversation
Erudition	Comprehensive development expands the range of common themes. An erudite person will support any conversation
Understanding	Be sensitive. The behavior of a person shows his mood. By facial expressions can be considered exciting emotions. Support and understanding is the key to starting a friendship
Training	Chat every day. Scientists have proven that regular communication improves performance and productivity. The more you socialize, the easier it is to find a common language with people

Important! Be natural, do not turn the art of communication into an acting game.

Nonverbal psychology

No matter how interesting the information is, the owner should correctly present its essence. Who will listen to the bubbling whisper of an uncertain speaker? Behavior and the ability to behave in society - this is what will make others listen to you!

"Tongue" of the eye. Get rid of uncertainty, boldly look into the interlocutor’s eyes and show that you are interested in maintaining friendly relations.
A running gaze is a sign of disrespect, showing that you are bored.
Facial Expressions. Each emotion is reflected on the face. You can even flirt only with the corner of your mouth.
Do not talk sad with a smile or positive with pursed lips. Combine the internal state with the external.
Gesticulation. Non-verbal behavior is a science. Keep your hands at the level of the abdomen or hips, arms crossed - this is stiffness and distrust of others.
An open pose subconsciously positions the interlocutor. Learn to be fluent in non-verbal communication techniques.

Advice! Practice daily in front of the mirror. Read poetry, make a speech, or imagine yourself as a teacher.

Such training will help you overcome isolation and feel relaxed while talking with people.

Exercises for free and easy communication with strangers

Contact a psychologist for help if a close circle of friends is not replenished. But there is a way that will help overcome shyness at home.

A little training is the beginning of work on yourself:

Monologue out loud. Sit more comfortably, take your favorite children's toy or book. Turn on the imagination and imagine that the subject in your hands is your listener.
This training is not as simple as it seems. Talk about yourself, about your activities, speak beautifully, in coherent sentences.
Such an exercise will help to structure the train of thoughts in your head and correctly express them out loud.
Dialogue with a stranger. Talk on the street. Ask a passerby how to get to the library, check with the seller about the quality of the goods, and ask for advice.
Meet someone in a cafe or movie. Such a training will eliminate fear of taking the first step.
Remember the details. After a dialogue with a stranger, remember what he was wearing, what color his eyes, hair, what the interlocutor said.
Develop long-term memory, reproduce in your memory a person's face, style and voice. Exercise trains mindfulness.
Praise. Give compliments, each person has advantages. Find them and admire them out loud. But be sincere, do not forget that falsity is easy to recognize.

Advice! Watch the speech. Speak clearly and clearly, without stumbling or stuttering.

Top books and literature

Interested in? Find out more from the book. Researchers of human behavior have published many works on psychology.

Check out the best literature to help you master your communication skills perfectly:

Eric Burne "Games People Play."
Dale Carnegie "How to Make Friends and Influence People."
Larry King "How to talk with anyone, anytime, whatever."
Sigmund Freud "Psychology of the masses and analysis of the human self."
Karen Pryor "Don't growl at the dog."