Why do you need a spiritual father? - We can say that it is basically a female trait

Is it possible to be a believer Orthodox person in the modern world? How to learn to live in Christian? How to start your journey to God and the Church? In a person who seriously conceived about the meaning of his life, many questions inevitably arise, and he is looking for answers not only in the temple, but also in books, in periodic press, even on the Internet. It seems that it is not quite true: it is impossible to learn the spiritual life "at a distance" or to conduct it theoretically, without participating in the worship and the sacraments of the Church. But to give such a person a faithful direction, help him understand what the main thing in church life is worth paying special attention to the temple and in the surrounding world, is quite real. It is equally important to try to answer and the questions that necessarily arise from a church man as "growing up". It is these tasks that the editors of the Journal of Orthodoxy and Modernity and the Internet Portal of the same name sets themselves.

Questions about why you need a confessor, how to find it, to what extent to obey which difficulties arise in relationships with the confessor, from among the most important, fundamental in spiritual life. You can even say that for the newly patron Christian, the course "Technique of spiritual security" is needed to learn the ability to distinguish true shepherds from Lzhastanis, who today have a lot (even such a thing as "young oldity"). By fruits will learn them(MF. 7, 16), - said the Lord. "Fruits" of irresponsible or incorrectly understood "spiritual leadership", unfortunately, are sad: broken fate, broken families, loss of faith ... And, on the contrary, the one avoids the one who was lucky to meet the reason for the judgment: He is able to teach his passas life to Christ Those because he lives in harmony with the will of God.

We hope that in our collection you will find the answers to the most common questions about the problems of spiritualism. But if there is something else that exciting you in connection with this topic and what the authors of the collection did not touch, ask: we are waiting for you in the sections "Question Bishher" and "Question to the priest" of the Portal "Orthodoxy and Modernity" (www.eparhia-saratov .ru).

Archimandrite Alexy (polycarpov).
First of all, you need to be a son or a dwarm of the church

The confessor and spiritual child - sometimes these relationships are very difficult. What role does the spiritual leadership in the life of every Christian play and does the priest can become a confessor? What is the measure of the trust of spiritual children to his mentor and the pastor's responsibility to Pasom? Are there rules for spiritual cakes, following which you can avoid "pitfalls" in the relationship between the confessor with their children? And is it possible to dispense without a mentor at a difficult way to salvation? The famous confessor is responsible for these and other issues, the governor of Holy Danilov of the Stavropigial Male Monastery of the city of Moscow Archimandrite Alexy (polycarpov).

Alexy's father, what could be given to the definition of the concept of "Cup"? What is its meaning in the spiritual life of a Christian?

Usually, the confessor is a priest who advises, instructs Christian on the path of salvation. He can simply make the sacrament of confession: a man confessed, the Lord revealed his grace - they said goodbye to him, - and they diverged and, perhaps, never more and no longer meet with each other. But it may also be that the priest professes him more than once, but regularly and all his life, or even a spiritual leader ...

- What is the difference between the spiritual father, the spiritual leader from the role of the confessor?

And the one and the other - "Father". But the spiritual leader is a priest who leads a person in life, leads through his good mentoring. And it is committed primarily through the spiritual obedience for this person to his shepherd. In this case, he is already a spiritual leader - a spiritual father.

Often the thought is now expressed - as a good advice - that every Christian must certainly have his own confessor, must necessarily manage someone. But this is a very subtle question, and it needs to be approached very carefully. For example, there are increasing cases when the priests are taken in inexperienced people to rescue, when instead of a good fetus are born by evil - heavy mistakes that can seriously damage Pasy's souls.

And, on the other hand, you can face people who are with some vanity, proud of saying that "we have such a confessor with such a name, and we are his spiritual chad." It sounds, it may be beautiful, but whether they will be able, so previating with an experienced mentor, to extract the spiritual benefit from this communication. After all, the essence is not in the loud names of the mentors, but in the life itself and actions are instructed.

I remember the words of Father Andronika, Glinsky Schirchimandrit, who completed his earthly path in Tbilisi. He said: "Whoever listens me, that and my child." The Holy Fathers say that by asking the confessant some question and having received an answer to him, you must certainly fulfill what he will say, to fulfill this blessing. But we are not always ready for this, because we are not always looking for the will of God, are not always ready to have obedience. Sometimes a person "just" does. They can move curiosity, or vanity, or something else, but in such cases it is impossible to say that a person has spiritual icy.

- And obedience is a prerequisite for spiritual ocker or without obedience there is no ombre?

The principle of spiritual life is: if it is ready to be ready and the questioning, and the one who responds is ready - even yes, obedience is a prerequisite condition for spiritual ocker.

But we know about such a spiritual doing, about such "high matter", mostly from books about the ancient Mobility: We read everything much, especially now, when, thank God, a large number of spiritual literature appeared. And, after reading, sometimes we try to imitate the devotee, but it turns out not always skillfully. But in some cases you do not need to do. For example, the relationship of "Cup - Choo". In the current times, the priest cannot take on the leadership of a person to such an extent as it was, for example, in the ancient monasteries, when the student lived with an older and every word, each movement was agreed upon, each thoughts confessed. And if we try to apply it in our life, it is sometimes awkward, awkward, and not always useful. And what is practically possible for us: the confessor gives some general advice - for edification and not even always, maybe for execution; he can offer them in the form of a recommendation, and Pado these tips compares with their life circumstances and, accompanying their spiritual experience and, how holy fathers teach, I definitely coordinate everything heard (and all your spiritual life at all) with the Gospel, looks at how much For him, this advice will be performed. And one more comment: it is very important that both the shepherd, and Pasomy guided by love and sincere good location to each other.

Very interesting in this regard, the letter of the father of John (peasantkina). Now, thanks to the published correspondence, he reveals even more for all - and for those who knew him personally, and for those who only heard about him, and even for those who only after his death got acquainted with him through books and became Use His advice and instructions. And so what should be noted: his letters are very sober character, there are no enthusiasm in them, but, on the contrary, a very sound attitude to everything.

If, put, the young man (young man or girl) wants to become a monk, live in the monastery, then Father John, approve of his desire, nevertheless he says that it should be healthy, weigly. And besides, it also adds that it is necessary to take into account how his parents belong to such intention. We sometimes miss this aspect: how does family react to a similar life turn? Especially often, such surprises happen to people who appealed to faith recently and believe that they go to the age of Christ, and at home - in the worst case - they look like on the enemies: "And the enemies of a person - his home" (Matt. 10, 36), and in the best - they believe that they are observed to listen to their opinion.

And the opinion of parents must be considered, even if they are unbelievers or non-church people who are not able to understand the spiritual impulse of their kids?

Yes, we are obliged to listen to them, they should not "step over" through them and this will help them, maybe not immediately, but after some time, it is also a bold and extraordinary solution for them. If we are Christians, then through us the name of God should be glorified, and not to be hung. Therefore, it is impossible to allow parents to become victims on the spiritual path of their children. This, of course, it would be completely wrong. After all, they, as a rule, people who survived the years of atheism, which most often come to Christ over time to Christ, and see that the choice that their children did was justified, although, unfortunately, sometimes it also happens differently.

And returning to the topic, I will say: the relationship with the confessor should also line up on the sober-based basis. If I am ready to accept what the father tells me, I am ready to fulfill his advice, then - Lord, bless. Then God will be in the midst of us. And if I ask the blessings to my rampant acts or on jealousy, I don't understand, and then say that "I was so blessed and for some reason suddenly did not succeed," then to whom in this case claims: to your conference, to the conference, God? Probably to yourself ...

What to take a blessing? Some are considered to be right asking priests about each of their actions, and others very rarely come with some serious life issues.

In principle, I repeat if life was possible on the likeness of the ancient monasteries, it would be possible to take a blessing. On a glass of water, to make an extra bow ...

- Is such an end of obedience possible for someone in our time?

I think now - no. It is almost impossible. Of course, a deputy expression remains: "There will be a novice, there is an elder," but still the living conditions we have completely different. First, is there such elders who could take such a guide? When the father of Kirill was asked if the elders were now, the Batyushka joked that "there are old men, and elders are not." Secondly, are we ready to fulfill everything that will tell us? After all, that often it turns out: some are trying in exactly, blindly, follow what is read in books about obedience, while others simply mark everything: "This is not for us, because in our time it is impossible." And the first and second - delusion.

- Is the confessor responsible for his spiritual child?

He is responsible for his blessings. There are different cases, for example, when someone dares to give a blessing to a person to leave the family or so "deploy" his homework, that they are built under the unforeseen "angle" and lead to unexpected, dramatically. But here, of course, a person himself must try to appreciate his position: Will he be able to execute it, whether it needs to be performed, whether it will be to the benefit and to the salvation of himself and loved ones.

In this regard, I note: now they talk a lot about journalism, when young, completely inexperienced priests are taken to lead people; But they probably still drivers with sincere jealousy. Maybe they have any mistakes, but, of course, they want to save all those people who come to them.

Lord, blessing and umudri all in the save ...

On the issue of joy-friendly, not even so much about the joy, how many mistakes of young shepherds: what are they, for example, in volatility?

Sometimes bless that it is impossible to raise a person, give the burden that he cannot bear. For example, a heavy dopyty, which is not possible. But after all, Epitia is only a reminder of sins, this is a kind of pious exercise: when a person performs him, then every time his sins lead to memory and brings repentance in them. Epitia is not a punishment. Well, naturally, it should be given in accordance with the spiritual level of development. If a person crossed the church threshold for the first time, came the first time for confession, it is hardly worthy to give him a penny - a lot of bows or many canons, when he, at best, just learned to be baptized and well, if he knows a few prayers, and maybe Togo not. In general, it follows the spiritual level of a person to give such a pious exercise, which would promote him forward, did not stop, did not lead to despondency, but would help to stand on the path of repentance, on the path of Christian life.

One of the most dangerous mistakes of the artists is that they sometimes lead to themselves, and not to Christ ...

If the relationship between the confessor and the tea has already been developed, then what can be "pitfalls" in this case?

Resenting can be. People can be offended that they pay little attention to them, especially women: tanya was given attention, and mana - no, some kind of jealousy maybe, jealousy is unreasonable, because we sometimes do not condes each other ...

- And what reason can have this jealousy under?

Base? Disgrace. And first of all, our own impact. Even if I, let's say, is offended, and, as it seems to me, unfairly (they are offended, what? - on what it seems unfair to us, and therefore the reason for the resentment is our passion and pride), you must always conscious and remember that we go to Christ, and not to a person. We come to God, he brings his repentance.

We come to the confessor, we open up your soul to him, and he prayed, makes a decision that the Lord procresses him, and it reports him. If we accept those who are said as the will of God, then they must do it. But it happens so that we consider it to be unfair, and from here is born offense and claims personally to the father. Of course, this is necessary to confess.

In such cases, people ask: "And what if I change the confessor?" But then you need to judge why I do it. If I even go to another priest and will still be offended and rooted someone, and not myself, will it be from this? Of course not. Best of all at a similar temptation, praying, to open it all that is on the heart, and only after that, if necessary, make a final decision. It is quite possible, the temptation will go: a frequent and sincere confession gets all over this wound.

For example, one woman said (it was in a laurer, where a lot of artists): "Here today, I feel that I need to go to the confession to Father John, tomorrow I will go to Father Stephana, the day after tomorrow - to the father of Peter ...". Such a reasoning, of course, is not true. What did she guide? What everyone will tell her to her heart? It is not right.

Is it possible to describe the "ideal" relationship between the confessor and his chance, which are possible in our time, under our conditions?

There is a notion of the Gospel Father (Mother) - this is when, when he knead the confessor - a priest or an elder (Staritz) - "takes" a tonsigital (assured). And during the commission, there is such a moment (in any case, there is such a custom in the abode): the gospel is put on the elder's hand, which perceives the future of Inok, on top - the hand of the new-being, and the clergyman, making a tonsure, turning to the old man, says: "Here I give you before God of the newcomer" (this means that he will be able to respond from this moment to God for him in a terrible court). And the new-supported says: "obey the old man, Iko of Christ." This is the concept of "ideal relationships."

At the arrival, in the usual temple, Mijan-Chad and the spiritualist priests connect the bonds of a mutual location, and it already gives rise to obedience - this is such mutual agreement and is a saving. If for some reason a person decides that it cannot bother with this priest, then it is impossible to leave with the shine's cramped heart and gloomy feelings. In this case, it is better to explain that after parting, having met after randomly, it was possible to say hello and the layman could take a blessing from the priest, and not bypassing him, remembering the bitter moment of the gap and the preceding complexity that it was hard and, of course, not In Christ Tianski.

- And who can become a confessor?

In our Russian Orthodox Church, in most cases, every priest becomes the confessor, who serves on the parish and has the right to confess. He appears gradually and his own flock coming to him already as his spiritual father. In the Greek Church, as far as I know, not all, and certain priests are appointed by the spiritists.

Could anyone be a spiritual mentor in addition to the priest, for example, just more experienced in spiritual life?

Yes, maybe, but it is no longer literally - "Spiritual Father", but rather a spiritual brother or - there is such a concept - a spiritual mother. Moreover, such a bump-advice is possible not only in the monasteries, but also in the world. After all, if this is all healthy and soberly, if a person from his spiritual experience speaks, then why not listen and not to take advantage of his spiritual practice ... But still it is impossible to carry out an analogy between him and the spiritual father.

- Are there any qualities that can prevent the priest to become a shepherd?

He must first of all tell his conscience. If he has something on conscience, some negative circumstances in his life, or unacceptable for such a ministry, the character traits, the features of spiritual appearance ... But nevertheless, the priesthood is determined by the shepherdness. And the Russian people always loved and loves their father and ready to forgive them all.

- And in what case is the change of the confessor?

If there is no use for the soul. But, probably, you need to look at each specific case. If there was a need to part with your shepherd, then it is better, of course, to consult this with more experienced, with the eldest. I am sure that any priest, when they come to him with sheds and screams and say: "Battyushka, I feel that I don't get the benefit from your leadership, I want to go somewhere, someone ask," say: "Of course, it is necessary Counseling, how to be further. "

- Is it possible to have a full-fledged spiritual life leading to salvation, without a confessor?

By and large, the presence of a spiritual leader is not a security departure. You can live near the confessor and at the same time do not acquire anything. You can take on all blessings and at the same time guided by your will, because often we come to hear do not God's will, but blessing to their decision, for their desires. Perhaps this. And if a person performs the commandments of God, he lives in Christ Tianski, cleans his conscience with repentance, then this does not mean that he fully fully with the head and his own himself, forgives and punishes. Of course not. Therefore, without a confessor, a person can escape, of course.

What if a person is looking for spiritual leadership and does not find? How to find a confessor at all - not for some abstract person, but for myself?

I think there may be different ways. If a person lives in some place: in a small town, village, village, where one priest, and at the same time he does not have any opportunity to go somewhere, go and meet another father, then just like this - say to himself in humble and simple Heart: "Lord, bless!" - And take the local priest as your confessor. For example, earlier, in pre-revolutionary Russia, records were conducted, who when the Govel, when confessed, was involved. The parishes were ordered, a person could only approach the sacraments; In the neighboring parish were their parishioners. Well, now there is complete freedom in this matter and there is an opportunity to choose a confessor in his heart. Just need to pray, and the Lord will open, to whom to settle down.

- What if a person was never able to find a confessor?

Let him go to church, confess, commits, - and the Lord, of course, will not leave him. First of all, you need to be a son or a dwarf church - this is the most important thing, and the rest of the Lord will attach.

- Father Alexy, what would you advise young shepherds, just starting their ministry?

I can not advise the shepherds: I'm not a shepherd over them, they are advised by their archpastics ... And all of us, sinners, - people who want to clear their soul, - advise more often to confess to confession with the heart crushed and humble. And if you feel sins, multiplied as the sand of the sea, and if we sincerely repent of them, then we can say that we are on the right track.

Tatyana Cheshovets talked

Why do you need a confessor?

The question of the confessor is one of the most frequently asked in the church. It is only formulated it is very different. Someone believes that our time is so good that there are no priests, who are experienced enough to serve anyone to any spiritual mentors. Other, on the contrary, believe that without a confessor and is being saved, it is impossible. Third, the question is purely practical: how to find a confessor? In our opinion, the topic of spiritualism is the most important in modern church life, requiring discussion in various aspects. But to start a conversation on this topic seems to be better from the very first question: why do you need a confessor? Having answered him, it will be easier to answer other questions.

Alexander Leonidovich Dvorkin,
theologian, leading sectival specialist,
professor of Moscow Orthodox
Holy Tikhonovsky University of Humanitarian:
- The confessor is a priest who is regularly confessing, who knows our spiritual problems well and our vital circumstances. Accordingly, for our confessional practice and for serious Christians, a better life is better, of course, to go to the priest who already knows our problems and can advise how to solve them. But at the same time, of course, the presence of the confessor is not a condition of salvation. It happens that a person has no permanent confessor for some reasons, but nevertheless it does not mean that without a confessor, this person will not be able to escape or will disappear. Just the presence of a confessor is a great help to a person seeking to lead a serious spiritual life, and without a confessor, it can be much more difficult.

But I, in general, at all stages of my life were the wonderful artists who provided to me the necessary spiritual assistance, especially considering the case I do. Such a special blessing of God that I really had always good conformists, so it's hard to imagine how I could cope without them. Although there were situations when, say, I lived in Germany, and my confessor - in America, so it turned out: I confessed from the priest in the temple, which went, but on all important issues - they are not so often, but once in a couple There were months - I just called my confessor and consulted with him.

And the help of the confessor is a prayer that protects, tips on important issues that he gives me.

The priest Alexy Timakov,
cleric of the Moscow temple in the name of the saints
Rev. Zosima and Savvatiya Solovetsky in Golianovo,
Permanent author of the magazine Alpha and Omega:
- We plunge into a spiritual life like blind kittens, and, of course, we need a leader, a person who has experience in finding God. The most important quality of the confessor is his ability and the opportunity to pray, to preserve the other, to ask you before God. Any priest, professing man, precedes the rank of repentance with prayer. Thus, God's presence is approved for confession, and his active participation in it, and human powerlessness in such a serious spiritual doing. Regardless of its moral or intellectual qualities, the Batyushka sometimes will say that the questioning is surprised: "How many things are open!". In its internal level, the priest himself could not say such a thing, but prayer makes it possible to transfer from God that it is necessary to hear a particular person. The confessor, the priest, if so to speak, is obliged to pray for his service, to read the rules - how much does it work well, but he still does it, preparing for Liturgy, commemorates those who asked them to pray, takes out For them, a particle on the ambassia, and this is the most important thing that he can give a person. Yes, of course, the priest sins, and "Firewood rubs," and mistaken, but still he has a boldness before God for people, and if a person does not fall on that path, then the Lord on the prayers of the confessor, the whole thing can straighten and fix it, What the person himself will not be for the person.

Is it possible to do without a confessor? - And how can I get blind without a guide? If a person has no confessor, "he himself, he himself has to interpret the Holy Scripture. Probably, with the help of some literature, it is possible to do, but a living word, a living example is completely different. And not necessarily the spiritual experience is purchased for confession: it may be in a simple conversation. Recall, for example, Pairius Svyatogorz, who simply spoke with his loved ones, and the words went from the soul to the soul and redefined. Spiritual experience absorbs sometimes not even through words, but in the image, in spirit. You can educate in different ways: "Do how I said!" Or: "Do how me!". The real confessor raises an example.

Of course, the confessor is not every priest can be. This is the testimony of young olderity, which is very flourishing now with us: barely time to take the San, the priest is already becoming "spiritual children."

The confessor is not easy to find, but did a person try to pray for this? Let it triggers, let it seek: Suitable to one confession, to another, will talk. And then a spiritual connection arises, and a person feels that he was born again. No wonder the mentor is called a spiritual father. But most often a person finds his shepherd in that temple, where he brought his Lord for the first time.

If we talk about the help that we get from the confessor is, first of all, his prayers, as he said above, and, of course, good advice.

Priest of Sergius Maslennikov,
Click of Moscow compound
Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra:
- Without a confessor, it is very difficult to seek the way of salvation. Without it, life in the church is almost impossible - it will tell you anyone who lives church life, from a simple parishioner to Lord. Therefore, come to the elders-chistles, they are advised, asked. And it is unquestioning that he will say them, even if it happens hard.

The confessor teaches cut off his will. Therefore, the boldness of the spiritual father is primarily life in obedience. The execution of the councils of the confessor is afraid of the enemy.

Of course, and without a confessor, you can go along the path of salvation and escape, but then the path from the point "A" to the point "b" will not be straightforward. Well, if it happened so that you live near Lavra or someone monastery: there are conformists and you can choose a shepherd in your heart. And in a remote little city, not everyone is given to find a confessor with a capital letter, and people living there do not have to talk about the "high" spiritual life. But then the Lord and asks the person less. God corrects the lack of pastoral assistance or to the gift of a person of his own spiritual experience, or mourn.

But in my life there was no such moment when I was without a confessor. Yes, they changed, but were always, so personally it is difficult for me to say how my life would be without a confessor.

Usually the sly is trying to "build" his "city" in the soul of man and confuse its path, surrounding the heart of the wall of conventions. And a person is often amenable to these temptations. And the confessor to the grace of God for the obedience of Chad, he has the power to handle these "impassable walls". To do this, it is necessary, without hiding anything, to tell the confessor about the mighty temptations, and then he will point out the exit, and on his prayers all the enemies of the "Building" will be destroyed, and, having freed himself, a person will be able to move on his spiritual path.

Olesya Nikolaev,
Poet, teacher
Moscow Literary Institute:
- A man who does not have a confessor, even in the accustomed to analyze his life, to consider the possible consequences of his actions and will be readiness for them to bear responsibility, of course, turns out to be in a more vulnerable position than the person who has a confessor, because our damaged sin The nature sometimes gives us such twisted "optics" that we are completely inadequately begin to perceive events and themselves in the context of these events. We begin to lead a very subtle feeling of pride or goodies, and we think that we do honestly and correctly, by the will of God, but in fact we can be just a toy in the hands of a fishing, which, of course, cunning us and much better knows all kinds of secret psychological The moves of their "client".

And the person who has a confessor, and the confessor who knows him for a long or at least some time is dedicated to the secrets and features of his life, family circumstances, psychological warehouse, seems about his possibilities or, on the contrary, some weaknesses, - to some extent being protected from the owner of the spiritual curvature and the false choice of will, "a consistent sin", as its holy fathers defined. Of course, I think life under the guidance of the confessor is more godigan and in the spiritual plan is safe.

I personally can say with confidence that it is difficult to do without a confessor. Very hard. Of course, there are such circumstances when it is not near or it is unavailable for communication, but then you are looking for some kind of man, wise and mature, who could be believed to belong their life decisions, actions, - maybe a person more spiritual or even senior . In general, one of the holy fathers wrote that if a person wants to know the will of God, he learns her even from the baby. Therefore, it seems to me that in a situation where a person was somewhere far abroad, where there is no Orthodox church, and he has to live in an inocular or inocultural, inokonfessionative environment, - if he with a prayer appeals to the Lord and learns to read events What happens to him if his soul is in a fishery dialogue and wants to know the will of God about himself, if he carefully lives, then, by the grace of God, will not die. In the Gospel, Christ says: "Notice that hear" (MK. 4, 24). If we really noticed it, we could find out everything you need for our salvation.

Fortunately, we live in an Orthodox country, we have such a number of temples, we have wonderful priests with the most different spiritual dating - there are the kindest orders, there are psychology-intellectuals, there are prayer ascetics-monks, harsh or, on the contrary, very gracious, - And everyone can find a confessor in his tendency and disappointment.

And if we talk about the appointment of the confessor, I suppose that it is to help a person to hear his calling, open the intention of God about himself, to help find the spiritual meaning of what is happening to him, that is, lead to Christ.

Vladimir Legguda,
chief editor of the Moscow magazine "Thomas":
- In any case, a mentor is needed, a teacher, therefore it is always easier when there is a leader in spiritual life: very many mistakes will be able to avoid. More precisely, it is not even not to make mistakes at all - they will not cost them without them, but that if there is a confessor, then it goes like these mistakes along with a person, and it is very important. The role of the spiritual father can be compared with the role of his father in the family. Similarly, in spiritual life.

Well, can I do without a confessor? I think, in principle, it is possible, because in the matter of our salvation it is impossible to do without Christ. Another thing is whether you need to do?

In general, in the question of finding, finding the confessor, as in the matter of relationship with him, it is very important, in my opinion, to avoid two extremes. On the one hand, some self-conceit: "I can decide everything myself." I believe that such a self, of course, is wrong, as it can be far away, so if there is a priest, to which a person can turn to how to the confessor, then it's better to contact. Another extreme is the desire to find a person who can be shifted. When: "Patty, bless to eat, bless to go to the woods to walk, bless, bless, bless ...". And this is not a joke: I personally know such an attitude to the confessor. When people, reading several works on Asshetics and learning about the monastic practice of daily confession of thoughts to the spiritual father, whatever they seek to find a confessor, and finding that they can now call him every day, ask many insignificant issues to make you decide Household questions of their family. But, in general, in fact, the modern secular person is even impossible to deeply understand what it is - to live in complete obedience to the confessor. It seems to me that these are two extremes, and, by the way, the second extreme can be a dangerous trend on the part of the spiritualist; This is what is called "Youngcombity": when the confessor believes that he must and has the full right to lead the will of his spiritual chad on every second of his life and in all matters, including household and others.

To go between the jetty jelly and chariberism of liberal "full-time" - this is the art of any life, including spiritual, and it is not regulated by any universal rules. But, of course, it is easier for those who are a supporter of the existence of authorities, "lighthouses", which can be equal. And I consider it the norm of life.

For example, I had such an experience of finding a confessor. I came to confession, and although it was not my first confession, but, let's say, the initial experience, therefore the attitude towards her was still specific, I would say prenoophytic. The priest asked me a question about sin, which I was not going to confess, considering that this is something very personal, that it is impossible to talk about it. He asked me this question, and I just cried in response - I put my head and cried. And suddenly heard that he cries over me. And then I realized that I had a confessor.

Answering the question of what I get help from the confessor, I can say that the most important thing for me is what I once heard from one wonderful priest: it is very important that the shepherd can inspire. And my confessor is a person who, of course, inspires and helps a lot in situations of the most "fossil inadmotional via", in which you periodically get on. Inspires because always indicates the path of Christ. At the same time, it is not to obscure Christ that, and showing Christ - his life and his prayers. This is true and very strong assistance in the most difficult moments when a person fails in the seeming sense of the surrounding life.

And, finally, the main thing, as it seems to me, in this matter I very accurately expressed the saccy of the Roman (bear): "The task of the shepherd is to raise the soul so that she could be before the Lord and quite freely and deliberately chose good ...".

Irina Shalotina,
Neonatologist of the highest category,
Member of Saratov diocesant
Societies of Orthodox doctors:
- Happy one who has gained the spiritual father in the grace of God! Because no matter how sociable and communicable man, he is alone in his spiritual life.

Open your soul with the purpose of her cleansing from sin is most fully possible only to the confessor. He, regularly taking our confession, will recognize us much better than close relatives and friends. Therefore, the instruction of it is the right one.

Taking any decision, I suffer in doubts for a long time. But it is worth taking a blessing from a spiritual mentor, as a problem is allowed to be favorable, although sometimes and an unexpected way. After all, it myself, the Lord Handpoint of the priest blesses our things if they are pleasing to him. And what source of wisdom and virtue are spiritual conversations! They are striving from everyday bustle to gain hardness and confidence that everything is transient than love. Chuda-corded by the conf desk becomes a parish community in which all adversity are easier.

In difficult moments of your life, I always feel the prayer assistance of the spiritual father, who leads us, his chad, to salvation.

Mikhail Mchidlishvili,
Moscow artist-icon painter,
Member of the Creative Union of Artists of Russia:
- I think the confessor is needed so that the person does not wander in the search for the right life decisions. The spiritual leader, having learned a person, can be calmer and shortly by spiritually to send him to find him in his heart and love for people to walk in life with minimal everyday losses. The confessor is especially necessary in our unstable time, when so little depends on us when a person hesitates all the time, doubts how it is true. And if there is chad to the confidence in the confidence, a reverent attitude and the desire to fulfill his blessings, then his life is simply simplifiable, he discards a lot of unnecessary, and mostly doubts.

From the lives of the saints, we know that there were such devotees, for example, the Rev. Maria Egypt, which and without spiritual leadership reached holiness. But this, of course, exceptional cases, and personally, it is very difficult for me to speak, because I myself could not do without a spiritual mentor. I think that in general it is unlikely to be a modern person without a confessor, but a big difficulty in how to find it. I can say that I had several artists before I found my current spiritual leader.

What is the difference between life with the confessor and without a confessor? And I see it on some of my friends, as it is hard without a confessor, they stuff so much cones.

But there is another aspect: if the confessor is far away. So I live in Moscow, and my confessor - in Tbilisi. I think some people are mistaken, believing that the confessor should attend often, contact him with each question, all the time he has in sight. It seems to me that if a person carefully listens to the words of the confessor, addressed to him or even to someone else, he has a very big actual material, and he has a dialogue with the confessor, all the time he carries the image of the father in his Heart, and communication is not interrupted, despite the distance.

And the assistance of the spiritual father is, naturally, first of all, in his prayer. And I feel it almost at the physical level. That is, all these states of the recession, of course, and now there is, but nevertheless, if the father serves as a liturgy or prayer, I always have a little hope-confidence that maybe he will remember me. This is the joy and strengthening of the Spirit. And then there is a big joy at all that he is in my life and my loved ones: they also communicate with his spouse, and son, and daughter, and grandchildren. He knows our life situation, knows all our story, and we are spiritually "strip." I am sure that the real confessor wants more for his Chad than Choo for himself.

Marina Shmeleva,
Employee of the Saratov Holy Trinity Cathedral:
"When a person confesses from different priests, many of the spiritual life issues to him have to solve himself." It turns out that, on the one hand, he seems to be holding a council with a priest, and on the other hand he is his head and his head itself. While the confessor helps relate the domestic experience of a believer with a deceic tradition, with the voice of the Church. Recomidentious to him, the Christian lives no longer according to his mind, is humbled to someone else's will, learns to listen and hear. Own actions, thoughts, feelings he can see the eyes of another person. Moreover, the look of the confessor, on the one hand, is objective: after all, it is not related to us related or buddy relationships. On the other hand, this look is not an extraneous, which is indifferent to your fate, but the person's splating you. Probably, all this meant my girlfriend-Kazakh, when she said: "What are you, Christians, happy that you can go to confession, talk, consult!".

Also, the confessor is needed to share with his chance with the experience of spiritual life so that the believer can see an example of the modern life in Christ. After all, there are many situations in life when it is not enough to read a smart book. Incidentally, the Council and the living word of participation are invaluable at such a moment.

And, of course, the confessor is needed to support and consolation. Nowadays, a person who seeks to live according to God's commandments, surrounding is perceived as a strange, incompetent, and that is not entirely healthy. Close, friends sometimes do not just push the Christian on sin, but also the whole view show that this is the norm of human relations. In such a situation, it is simply vital to see that on the way to Christ you are not alone that you are at least two.

Archbishop Yoshkar-Olin and Mariy John.
Under the wings of the bird

The spiritual father, or an old man, is a man who knows how the Lord himself, your inner world and manages, leads you to salvation. Holy Feofan Relaimer, Ignatius Bryanchaninov said how hard it was even at their time to find a spiritual father, and now, according to the Word of St. Ignatia, we are guided mainly by St. Books. But the spiritual mentor should have every Christ Tianin.

The twentieth century is a bogular age, a century that destroyed seemingly a spiritual pleany, and the continuity of the priest. In fact, in these incredibly difficult conditions, the Lord gave the church of the elders-comforters. Having passed through prisons, deprivation, persecution, external and internal torture, they were so unlike the Lord, that in each person they saw the image of God. The sinner came, the listeners they met him and gave him the opportunity through their life example to taste the sweetness of life in God. This is now the elders are strict, and "joiners" are generally cruel, and then they showed the world first of all, that such is love Divine, comprehensive.

Since childhood, I was brought up in the Pskovo-Pechers of the Monastery, who never closed, even in a walkless years. And there at the time preserved the continuity of the spirituality - in the true sense, when the elder, according to the word of the Lord, knows his chad, and He knows him. In the years of Khrushchev, when, after a small post-war thaw, the closure of temples began again, the Pskovo-Pechersk Monastery became the refuge of the chicken fathers. This came from the Caucasian Mountains Schirchimandritis Pimen (Gavrilenko), who suffered a lot, passed through prisons. It was exiled here, moved from the Trinity-Sergius Lavra and my confessor - Sawwa Sava (Ostapenko).

For the first time I got to Pechora with a seven-year-old boy, with a pilgrimage trip. Then this impressive meeting took place. Savva's father went after the service surrounded by the crowd, quickly answered questions, shouted from all sides:

Batyushka, pray.

And we stopped before. Suitable and says:

Bless

Go to me, after lunch.

We were invited to a fraternal meal, after went to him in the cell, then went to the monastery "hill", and there was a first spiritual conversation, then completely children's. My first questions were - ordinary, we can say naive, but at that time they were relevant to me, it was necessary to solve them somehow. I received a blessing instead of ten days to stay all summer, to spend on time. We lived then in the attic, the mother of Alexandra, they slept there with rows, from fifty to one hundred children of children alone, with mice and rats. And there was nothing sweeter than holy water and monastic bread. And since that time for many years, that is, inclusive to the tenth class, I came to the monastery for all holidays.

What gave me a confessor? - And what I have. He knew that my way was the crusher in Sana Bishop, then I was already realized. We were small, but he didn't apply with us, kindergarten to raise and playing. Although at the same time he behaved as a chadoby father with children.

He loved us soly soothe ... he was often brought from Moscow something: someone pineapple will bring, another oranges, tangerines. At that time, only in Moscow it was all. And so he collects us and gives out. But let's give this orange, he immediately forced himself to pray for the man who brought, to make fans for him. And always said that now you get - remember. Life comes, how much you got, you will have to give a hundred times more. As if pointed to our future laughter.

Advisor had such sins that remained hidden and forgotten. Children are children, it happens, something will do. And here is a confession, and suddenly the old man begins to bring examples.

But some think: this is a small sin. For small, it is a big sin.

And so here it recesses, then you already approach and let's repent. And you think: no one knew about it. It would seem, well, that there may be at that time - some small prank. But the Spiritual Father tended us to have rushed not just "the case, the word, a thoughtlessness," but all that in our soul hidden, became apparent. And to felt, what are suitable for and how come, and not just ran "to participate." And after confession was the ease and awareness that "finally fell away." And this fear of the child in front of the confessor, before the priest, he always remains. At the same time, he opened our hearts, and we were fluently told everything and did not feel any gravity.

To work, we accepted us seriously. We ourselves amazed how many physically worked at that time. We started in the morning from the midnight, then fraternal prayer, at eight o'clock breakfast. After all day, we work, in the summer period to ten in the evening, then after dinner we go to the evening the monastic rule. At twelve lay down, five got up. What is five hours of sleep - for children? And the Lord arranged so much that grace gave the strength and fortress. As we strive, standing in the morning at the door, get a blessing ... And after that, no questions arose. I received a blessing - and with him came such a world in the soul, some kind of warmth, like on the wings run, do obedience. At first, I was engaged in flowers, then sent to the barnyard, after him to the joinery, a locksmaker, for a blacksmith, then a tinsmith work, to care for the garden of monastic. The basics of many of my external knowledge were obtained there, in the monastery, in children's and youthful years.

I did not know that such a confessor, what spiritualism, never asked him these questions and did not think how these issues were solved. We all try to be "decorated" into something, in accordance with our education. But those conversations, which, after later, when I became an adult, passed into his cell, were neither pompous nor theological. It was the conversation of his father with her son. Perhaps perplexed, primarily relating to ordinary monastery life, behavior and those temptations that arose every day.

This generation already left us had one thing - Christ in her heart. And Christ through their mouth, through their affairs, the hands worked what was currently given to many and many ability and the opportunity to establish in their spiritual life. The Pskovo-Pechersk Resident through himself missed many students of spiritual educational institutions, which in the future became bishops, priests, monks. And they have learned to some extent on these living examples, as a person needs to be acting in various cases of life. And what is in general the spiritual life is not on the outside, not in some external brilliance and beauty, not in some external hardness, determination and stiffness, but in a true spiritual sense - that God is love, and the abiding in God in love . And it's not by chance that the elders were drunk, he oppressed, forbade them to take their spiritual children, people, despite anything, the crowds went, went to them - and from Sakhalin, and from the Far East, and from many other places.

Each of the conformists filled this or another niche in the instruction of Orthodox Christians. One through his theological knowledge, through the knowledge of the inner spiritual life ocked the intelligentsia - doctors, teachers, scientists. Another love and simplicity attracted commoners, the third consisted of people closed, durable, sad. The fourth prayer, the gift of tears, which he possessed, conquered those fierce people who in monks and in the monastery saw some external recluse, some kind of rigor, maybe, cruel and certain rules and could not perceive it. And every person coming to this abode found herself what is despicable for his spiritual life and what is necessary in order to accept from the external godless persecution and realize that the Lord is near us.

Talk about sacramental - about what is close to confession, it is probably not the time to come. Consciously, we began to solve the questions somewhere for 16-17 years, when I began to understand that they should be solved seriously. Only after what has already entered the monastery, I felt on myself that such an invisible spiritual brand was as much as it was and how the enemy rises on young novices. No longer exhaustion from physical work, as in childhood, gave us to eat the Lord, and the temptations from the flesh, from the world and from the devil. When you're just a pilgrim, the boy, when you just work, is one life. And completely different - when you chose life with Christ and in Christ. Then this invisible brand is so striking in the very core, all the innermost passions are revealed - especially the pride and despondency, which gives it incredibly, crushes a person. And here you come to the old man. You are preparing a whole day, you think how to open it, but everything is allowed in two or three minutes. He does not even listen, just gives an answer as this passion to win, why this happens and what should I look for the root cause of sin. Surprisingly, whatever you beat us, our heart has not remained in anger before sunset.

The Lord prepared us - not only me, but also others - to the ministry of the priestly, bishopskoe so that we are experimenting, in our life they have learned what sorrow is, what is the persecution that is a solution. Sawva Sawva in the last months of life was very ill. He needed to be all the time in the fresh air. And I wore a clamshell every day. And there I was driving us, Archimandrite Irina, who fulfilling someone else, so that the elder did not appear there. And once I knew me, did not suffer. After some time came rang - already carried out the clamshell. And the spiritual father addressed me with the words:

Expensive egg to the Easter day. You, "say," felt heavily not to fulfill obedience? Not realized, but still aware.

And then a whole week I went with this stone. I could not come to approach, and he approached me himself. Asks:

Passed? Now let's go to confession.

And after that, I really realized and how hard it is not to have obedience, all the devotion to the confessor, and how much there will be temptations from external, and what is the loyalty to the path you vote.

For the first time I knew how hard to be alone when he was soiled in the bose. I was still a student, I studied in the seminary. Before that, my soul did not know what kind of questions were unresolved. As under the wings of the bird was in warm, in twilight, covered with prayer. And here it turned out to be alone with external student knowledge, and there are many problems in them, it is impossible to decide through books. They can only answer the mind chungy, clear and pure, who is not infected with this external world and does not live according to his laws. I came to the funeral and felt how much was lost much. But this feeling did not enslave me. When I started going into the caves, I saw that the Lord is not the God of the dead, but the God of Living (MK. 12, 27). And then everything was solved - imperceptibly and simply - it is still solved by the real day.

The fact that I experienced in dealing with the confessor is still not realized. Some faces began to clarify after his death. Living in the monastery, we suspected what is the fact of the persecution of elders - and from the external and internal. They saw how they were returned from some places and then for the whole month they cannot get out of the cell. When these fathers were no longer alive, our Feldsher, Igumen Feodorite, told how they came to him with broken fingers, with what was still given to undergo. In life, they never talked about it. Secret and Partsecretary came to the abode, and KGB staff are those that were their external persecutors. And the elders took them - at night, when no one saw. With love talked with everyone, even with sealing villains. And people were transformed into the monastery, became childishly updated with their soul. Throughout all this, I first knew what the priesthood ministry, what is true spiritualism, when the confessor bears grief and illness from everything, from all his spiritual children, and not just knows me, according to the word of the Lord. Spiritualism is crusher. This is the feat, the way for which the Lord has passed.

Recorded Elena Sapayev

Inokine Natalia (Aksmentov).
Not power, but care and delicacy

I was asked to somehow advise one young man, to whom from the artists to contact him - something is wrong, contradictory was going on in his soul. The seekers knew me, were confidentially arranged and, of course, they expected that our "tastes" coincide here and here that I can introduce them with such a priest who will quite satisfy the human and spiritual search for their son. At first I was, internally responded: I really wanted to help. And at some point even remembered the Moscow priest, which seemed to correspond to the requests of people of such a plan - a highly educated, intellectual, the immigrants from the cultural creative environment.

But then I still abandoned any recommendations: how could I know what kind of spiritual help did that young man needed? And, perhaps, he, the "bombing" young man, belonging to the famous cinematic dynasty, who received a boundary education, in order to sing his soul, it was required some completely simple, "ordinary", the semi-armed rustic father, which could find for him Non-good, but the only necessary words.

Now very many are looking for spiritual leadership, focusing on their own understanding of how it should be. Many are thrown exclusively in search of "beaten elders", "blissful" and just eminent confessors. And this can be understood when people fall into extremely difficult, almost intractable situations and believe that assistance should come from the one who, in their opinion, the brightest example of God-in-law. However, despair pushes them sometimes into the "friendly" arms of the elders and antaritz-impostors, blinding leaders, self-proclaimed seams. Otherwise, if not looking for "great", then, having risen on adequate human communication, for attentive well-known eyes, on the heart, indispensable response to his everyday tugu, thereby, as it were, the sacrament on the household level, depriving him the spiritual content belonging to it .

But the meeting should occur - the sacrament of consonance should be accomplished. The sacrament is genuine, non-impersonal, due to the need for the need for the intervention of God. For this - immutable - we are witnessing the divine response.

Apparently, everything begins with deep inner dissatisfaction: by himself, life - it moves us to seek divine intervention, help over. If you allow, in a sense, this is the first spiritual guide. With me something similar happened in 13-14 years. Dissatisfaction was bitter, dead-end. It was then that the first in life there was a contact with sacred, enthusiastic: found (somewhere in library shelves) Life of St. Cyril Belozersky. Remember the place where the Monk sits at the oven, looks at the flaming lamps and turns to himself: "Look, Cyril, so you will burn ...". I thought then: "Here is a real life - to have such thoughts!". And burst out. From happiness. I realized that I was completely different, there is a full life, and it depends on the quality of thoughts in the head. It was understood somehow leather, smell, heart. I was not even baptized, but the experience gained is my first religious experience. And this was the more gesture of the gesture in the human life, which we are all, in fact, only and tea, but do not always recognize.

Often we enhance the events, while other situations require and long-year expectations. In my fate, I even had a blessing that I did not grow out in a religious family, and nothing was imposed on my relatives, for I am from the category of people who organically take any violent invasion of a personal spiritual plan - that now in the rheric environment often happens. After six years (after "dating" with Rev.), I was already in the monastery - a few thousand kilometers from the house, and another two years (not before and not later) God had plenticing to me a confessor.

... how Mantis Treught Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov), what an example of spirituality he was, it requires, of course, a separate narrative. At one time, people and clergy, and the laity, and the monasticists who born from him, I think, have repeatedly and tell about it, and you will write warm grateful words.

Sneaking visitors to him for that period when he, while still in the power, took from us in Transmekin, was everyday. The people rode from afar, and for the sake of confession, and for the Good Council. Everyone of his "adoptive day" immediately began with reading the prayers of the confession of confession, and somehow I, sorry I caught the limit to the limit, asked him: whether it is impossible to spend the confessions for everyone, because many are looking exclusively conversations? "I understand," Batyushka answered Krotko, "but in this case, people will be carried away by idle useless conversations, and conducting a common confession, I still send their desire to the main thing - to repentance, to the cleansing of the heart." Actually this short phrase, besides what indicates the basic principles of spiritual leadership, by no means as a dominant lever of influence on the fate of people, characterizes the very father of Kirill as a strikingly modest, humble person. He always experienced (at least it seemed to me) some awkwardness when he was frankly proclaimed by the old man or expected fateful radical solutions from him.

Hence the unchanging general confession, as a desire is also not allocated, not to be more than ordinary, which can be knitting and solved by the yeerage, that is, to be ordinary. What, by the way, you will not say about many young christmas and newly new "elders" and "styrices" mentioned above, which, having no experience, nor elementary modesty, dare rudely invade human life, cruel and breaking everything in their path and waiting To his person of exclusive signs of reverence.

"What I can? - Father Kirill said often. - I just listen to a person and I can. There is no more sense from me. " Accordingly, its spiritualism was delicate and careful towards another soul. His advice has emerged so naturally and organically from the story of the most important thing that there was a feeling that the life situation itself was summed up to such a decision path. Many, I know, got upset and wondered: and that this father doesn't say anything "such", does not bother anything, does not appoint severe, impressive doctimia?

Over the past 10-15 years, that I had the happiness to observe this humble confessor, and "in people", and at the time of the secluded I never heard from him a single dismissive word in someone's address, as well as never heard Pontreal and proprietary: "My Chad", "I bless it!".

Father Kirill was, and remains primarily a good, conscientious monk with an inflated self-esteem, who keeps the ink to succeed with each such monk. I intentionally do not allow yourself highly epithets, knowing how they would not like the father.

And now, when he is chained to bed and practically unable to support us in a word, I am again and again come to the conviction that the power of the confessor who serves God and people in the "Previse and Pravda" is not in words. This is the high measure when a person is enough for a person. And either we will all become clear and without words, or we will be so infinitely asking and asked.

There is one extremely negative trend with us, seeking to build your life and our relationship with God, so to speak, "on the blessing."

This reluctance (perhaps, unconscious) or the inability to independently be responsible for their actions. Responsibility to his conscience.

From here, it seems, all "traps", guaranteeing us "stagnation". Then we shamelessly shift responsibility for our ignorance on the shoulders of the confessor. That is meaningless replacing the precious luggage of personal religious experience by "other people's contents", nameing such substitutions by obedience or devotion ...

But, apparently, this is a separate, requiring special consideration the topic.

Questions and answers

Vladyka, bless! I want to ask your prayers and ask the next question: how do you understand spiritual icy in the modern world, in the modern church? How often can I see the father? What issues of spiritual life really require permission and council, and for what you can not disturb the father? What to do a young girl who regularly confesses the young priest and feels his embarrassment, and his embarrassment, and at the same time he understands that it is impossible to remain without spiritual ocked, and on this occasion often flows into the despondency?

The essence of spiritual cakes at all times the same. The word "ocker" is known to the word "feed". A spiritual father helps a person to solve vital issues. It is possible to imagine: like feeding among reefs, chalks and other hazards leads its vessel, so the confessor helps the Christian to avoid those mistakes, falls, the failures of the spiritual plan, which take hold of all that joined this path. And in this sense, modernity does not add fundamentally anything new.

How often do you need to resort to the advice of the confessor? This is determined, on the one hand, the need for this council, on the other, the possibilities of the priest.

A help in the resolution requires fundamental issues of spiritual life, first of all associated with prayer, post, with the way of the life of the Christian: for example, how to comply with certain church rules as much as possible, if a person is sick. The priest also discusses those issues that can change the direction of human life (for example, if it is arranged or studying, it is important to find out whether Christianity does not contradict his aspirations). Thus, to the confessor they are going with questions, the solution of which imposes a fingerprint for the entire future life.

There are people who are trying to transfer to their lives to the dispensation, which they read about the books about the ancient elders and devotees. Try to embody the monastery rules in parish life, for example, to take up the revelation of thoughts.

But it must be remembered that many things needed in the monastery are in the world, firstly, unknown, and secondly, just harmful. In John the Dissival, there are very good words that the newly uncomfortable viewing of thoughts, because it leads it to the wrong state: a person can get confused in those thin movements of the soul, which sometimes better not pay any attention at all. Living in the world, we cannot devote all your time of spiritual life, so attempts to subtle vision of thoughts most often lead to reflection and self-digging.

Do not disturb the father's subsidiaries. In addition, it often happens that a person, constantly turning to the priest for any reason, simply loses skill to the adoption of independent decisions - it is incorrect.

And your last question: what to do a young girl? ... run from this priest without looking back! Whatever it seems to her feeling good, holy, clean and sublime, if she has embarrassed, and if she also feels an embarrassment of the priest, running from him, if he does not want to get into Geenna fiery. We are all susceptible people. No minuses from the lack of bumps will not ignore that harm, which can occur if they give to develop this feeling, so it can not be allowed to allow it.

It is not by chance that the church canons suggest a certain age for a priest (over 30 years). Today we make exceptions as needed and handshaking younger people, we will act on the proverb that "the sake of the sake of the sake of the law has a premium." And according to an ancient rule, which is still valid in Greece - the country, the most fully preserved church traditions, is not everyone even ordained priest has the right to take confession: only a person who has reached 45-50, when the EU is punished by many passions, and When the confessor, as a rule, already has a fairly large life and priesthood experience.

Vladyka, during the post as a person's temptation is overwhelmed. He can get help and support from his spiritual father. However, as a rule, during the post, a large number of parishioners seek to confess that, of course, joyfully, but significantly reduces the possibility of full-fledged communication with the clergy. What principles should the parishioner be guided when choosing his spiritual father for confession and spiritual conversations? What time is the spiritual chad, it is preferable to communicate with his spiritual father so as not to burden it additionally? Is there experience in your practice when a joint conversation with a priest of his wife and husband, on matters of allegiance, served as marriage?

Replies the Bishop of Saratov and Wolish Longin:

The principle is one: a person must choose for himself the confessor of the priest who can bring him spiritual benefit. There should be a relationship of understanding and confidence. It is impossible to achieve it artificially: the priest requires an understanding of the incoming person, attention to it; By the person itself, it is necessary to confidence in his spiritual father.

What time is it preferable to communicate? The answer can be given to this question - depending on its circumstances. Some external rules that could regulate it, no. Naturally, they can have been involved, and you can not talk to a priest with great convenience not on a Sunday or a holiday day, but on the day of the week, when there is no big influx of parishioners and the priest is not limited to some time frame.

The joint conversation of the confessor with her husband and wife is generally very desirable. And not only on matrimony issues, but also for all questions that arise in the collaboration of spouses. This is a very effective means not only to keep marriage, but also to resolve contradictions that make a divorce in family life.

Hurrying Lord! Answer, please, is it worth it in our time to look for a confessor? After all, both your mistakes and someone else's inexperience can very damage the soul and break the life of a person. Holy Fathers advise to be guided by books, but also to me, and many of my friends are very lacking opportunities to consult and ask for prayers when bad. In church people often have many familiar priests, but in reality to turn to anyone. You may have come across it yourself. Advise how to be.

Replies the Bishop of Saratov and Wolish Longin:

Spiritual life as nothing else needs to be learning, personal continuity, direct transmission of spiritual experience. No wonder the holy apostles in church chants are referred to as "Self-Word", that is, it is emphasized by the fact that they saw the Lord with their own eyes. The presence of a spiritual mentor allows a person to adopt from him not only the word about God, but also the experience of living life in God.

You are right when you say that in our time it's not so easy to find such a person. Therefore, it is still necessary to remember that you really can be guided by books. Attentive, with reasoning, the reading of spiritual literature can give a lot to a person. Particularly asked such books as "delicate teachings" of St. Avave Dorofei, the "Words" of the Afonovsky elder Paisius, the letters of St. Faofan Relaimer and Ignatius (Bryanchaninova). At the same time, it is not necessary to read many books of different authors. Even one book of Avave Dorofay, if you try to guide it written in it, enough for a very long time.

At the same time there is one important rule: do not trust yourself, do not invent your "theology". A lot of people died in this: after reading a couple of books, they decided that everyone already knew.

Be sure to live in Christian, church life, understand and love worship, regularly confess and compete. In his prayers to God, ask him, among other things, so that he send you a person who can bring you spiritual benefit.

I think the Lord will fulfill your petition, since your words that "actually contact anyone," not quite fair. At all, there is no need to look for "the penetrations" and "elders". You need a good sincere shepherd, and such, thank God, is.

I made a grave sin that I want to confess. But I am ashamed to confess his father, whom I usually confess because he knows me. I do not hide: I'm afraid that he will be more strict to me. Moreover, the term of the penis, which he imposed on me for another sin. If I go to confession in another temple, is it normal? Or will it be a delicacy on my part and attempt to avoid real repentance?

You are absolutely right: it will really be a delicacy and an attempt to avoid real repentance, as well as a very big mistake caused by a unwell, completely wrong fear. Shame, which we have to worry about confession, saving. Memory that again will have to repent in the same sin, often keeps himself from him, or, at least, in this way, once again confessing in his stumbling blocks in front of one confessor, man begins to acquire pleasing to God of more than all other virtues humility. During the confession, the heart of a person should "reveal" for the action of grace, so that it really cleaned, transformed it. And then the lucavness, the attempt to "hide" something "to hide", to drag from the priest, who is usually confessed, will prevent such disclosure, you will have a painful feeling of something unfinished, the feeling of incompleteness. You can change the confessor when you see that communication with it does not bring spiritual benefit, you can. But only when it really is. And on fear of human - it is not worth it.

Now it has become fashionable to walk on churches and "choose" a priest. Someone says that this is a sin, but not everyone will disobey the soul. Or is it better not to think about it at all when you go to church?

The igumen nectaria (frost) is responsible, the abbot of the bishop church in honor of the icon of the Mother of God "Soothe my sorrows" G. Saratov:

When a person comes to the temple, he comes first of all to God, and not to anyone else. And what about the priest ... It, of course, is not chosen to "his taste", but at the same time, every person has his own spiritual warehouse, needs to be understood. And naturally, when sooner or later he finds the priest who can answer his questions, help him on the path of his church and spiritual life, which becomes his confessor. But it is necessary to be guided in such a "choice" not just human sympathies, but spiritual benefit.

I am pregnant, I feel an acute need for confession, but some obstacles are constantly arising. The last time was confessed three years ago, without feeling after that no relief; On the contrary, it was even harder in the soul, although it seems that nothing was taped. There was a feeling of formality of everything that happened, to anyone of unnecessaryness, and the disbelief in the fact that in general your revelations are interested in anyone. What should I do where to take a confessor who hearse will give advice ... or is it only in the movie happens?

The igumen nectaria (frost) is responsible, the abbot of the bishop church in honor of the icon of the Mother of God "Soothe my sorrows" G. Saratov:

It is very good that you feel the sharp need for repentance, not satisfied with themselves, means your soul is alive, although not saturated with that spiritual food in which it needs. However, unfortunately, much for you in Christianity and in the church, apparently, it is still not clear, why and you have to wade as if through the dense forest.

In his daily life, a modern person (let the believer, but really not choking), unfortunately, is very removed from God. Removed by the fact that it does not live in the Gospel Commandments, rarely begins to the sacraments, in which we are being served by the Divine Grace, just forgets about God and acts and acts as if it is not. And of course, when, from the environment of this remoteness from God, he wants "suddenly" to come close to him, it happens at all is not easy, and what obstacles do not arise. Is the church or people who "work" in it? Unlikely. If a person comes to confession every few years and besides on a festive or Sunday day, when there is a lot of people in the temple and hardly everyone is preparing for communion, then, of course, confessing as it should, thoroughly, talk with the priest, ask questions Most likely, will not be able. And if it goes to the temple regularly, it is regularly confeded, and not only on Sundays, it will not be a constantly growing coma of sins, and the possibility of more complete communication with the priest will introduce themselves.

"Where to take a confessor ..." Do not you think that even in the very wording of the question entered great incorrect? What does it mean to "take"? After all, there is no "Russian Fair" where you can come and choose who is more suitable. You are waiting for a child, mean you are married. How did you get married with your spouse? Probably, some time went to meet, then you met, learned each other and gradually realized that it was a person with whom you will live all my life and will be happy. So or something like that. In a similar way, relations and a priest, who becomes subsequently the confessor of a person: First, the person will confess one, at another father ... Then he sees that the advice, the answers of some of them bring the greatest benefit, allowing bewilderment, the soul is located to their adoption, confidence . A person feels that the priest refers to him responsibly, carefully, and he himself is ready to show the necessary obedience in response.

Understand that church life can not be understood, learn from "from the side." She needs to live, but not from occasion to occasion, but constantly. Then she will become yours and you will understand that the church is not "Institute", but the body of Christ, and "something special" in it we expect not from people, but from God. Only so that this special manifest itself in our fate need something from us. Namely - faith and life, with her in hand.

For more than a year, I go to the temple every Saturday and Sunday and confess every week; I understand that this is very important. But there was a feeling of uncertainty in himself and in what I do (I mean life outside the church, that is, work, study, family, friends and deeds). Before you start doing something, I begin to think about whether it is useful for the soul and what are the consequences; What should I ask your father blessing. And I began to notice that I dream a lot, and it does not reach the matter. But I do not decide to ask: because the father cannot decide for me, as I live. And on the other hand, it is impossible to tell the confessor about himself literally all (and not only sins and perhaps some thoughts). Is there any edge, a sign, when I act herself, and when I go for the blessing?

The igumen nectaria (frost) is responsible, the abbot of the bishop church in honor of the icon of the Mother of God "Soothe my sorrows" G. Saratov:

You are right, a frequent confession is very useful for the proper spiritual life of a person. Not only useful, but also determined. Frequent testing of conscience, uncompromising "court" over himself, coordinated to see and correct its shortcomings, the final savage of God in the minds of his unnecessary and disappointment for the kingdom of heaven - powerful engines on the path of moral change of man.

It is quite true that before you do anything, you think it is useful for the soul, whether it wants to God. This rule, in essence, must be mandatory for any believer. But you are understandable and your perplexity. The fact is that the enemy seeks to cause harm to man with very diverse ways. First of all, he tries to captivate the Christian to the life of the inattentive, scattered, in which sins are not only conveniently performed, but often they remain sinful unnoticed. If the enemy fails, it often uses another image of action. For example, tempting a person "petty": draws his attention to the set in secondary parts, not that absolutely not important, but by no means worth it to do in the first place. And from the abundance of questions that arise from his questions, the believer is simply lost, as a traveler who turned out to be without a map and compass in the dense forest is lost. And if, with all these questions, he begins to turn to the priest, then good of this does not leave this too: the priest is simply involved in the same temptation, which has come to him, and he has to either dive with him in many little things, thus losing precious Time, or send it to anything.

There is a very loyal principle formulated by St. Ignatius (Bryanchanin) in one of his letters in which he answers the question about confession. The saint suggests that it is necessary to start in repentance from sins of large, and then go to smaller. Otherwise, it is possible, in terms of the action, "smoking" in insignificant, before the vision and confession of serious limits and not to reach. He leads as an example of a littered room, saying that when cleaning it, it is necessary to first take out a large garbage, and then you will take a small litter and dust. Also in relation to the soul.

It seems to me that such an attitude is appropriate and in your case. If a person in those situations, when the will of God, expressed in the gospel, is absolutely clear (and such situations - most), it comes in accordance with this will, then the Lord gradually manages him and "thin" his spiritual vision, helping more sensitively distinguished . And on the contrary, if a Christian neglects the direct decoration of conscience in obvious cases, then in his soul he will always kill the Supper: what for the sake of enlightening the one who does not use and what knows? Unless more condemnation ...

But in general, I think you would need to talk about all this with the priest who has regularly confess. He knows you and better could understand what is happening in your soul.

I have a spiritual father. I often sinned against him what he condemned and even discussed his actions with others. Several times I repent of it, but again fell into condemnation. And so, I sinned again, but the father of this is unlikely to know. Now I am deeply repeated. The spiritual father rarely talk to me, I strongly grieve, I do not know if it is possible to return his former attitude towards me? Can God forgive me again and return everything?

The igumen nectaria (frost) is responsible, the abbot of the bishop church in honor of the icon of the Mother of God "Soothe my sorrows" G. Saratov:

After the condemnation of the confessor, even "fair", always remains the burden on the soul, feeling in guilt and its own wrong. Therefore, try never to do it anymore, knowing that such a discussion with anyone will never benefit. The only thing that, perhaps, is justified is, this realizing that the relationship really went into a dead end, and the confessor himself cannot bring them out of this crisis state, because mutual understanding is lost, to explain the situation to someone, to whom you have spiritual trust, and Better priest. Explain and ask for advice.

And do not try by anything to "return the previous attitude" of the confessor to you. Not this is the main thing. Human relations, unfortunately, a fragile thing. Sometimes it would seem that everything was fixed that it was necessary to correct, and the relationship is not restored. The most important thing is different - sincere repentance before God and the determination to correct the order for being faithful - first of all, of course, God, not a man.

The confessor is the one who helps on the way to God, on the path to salvation, helps learn to live "one on the need." And while this desire is to help the confessor, and a person learn is present, good relations will be preserved, because the unity in the most important thing will be preserved. And this unity is destroyed, as a rule, when the place of the desire to salvation occupies the desire for "human relations", when the confessor begins to be perceived just like a close, dear person. This, unfortunately, is a bad mistake coming in the temple of people today. It is best not to make it. And if it is allowed, try to fix.

I began to appear obsessive thoughts about the confessor. In my life, he appeared not so long ago (only six months). But there are visible shifts, before that I have two "bounced" in place. His advice is very valuable for me, coming to confession or talk to him, I am primarily looking for a way to Christ. But it began to notice that a certain spiritual attachment arises to the confessor, which is based on emotions. In addition, sometimes jealousy to other parishioners. At the same time, herself soberly gives a report that this is absolute nonsense and I don't have anything to do how much time he dedicated and what he said. What is the nature of these thoughts? Is it just a temptation? Is it enough to confess these thoughts or need to change so native arrival for me?

The igumen nectaria (frost) is responsible, the abbot of the bishop church in honor of the icon of the Mother of God "Soothe my sorrows" G. Saratov:

The enemy, unfortunately, does not in any way limit himself in the ways through which leads its struggle against the human soul. Nothing good and truly useful for us in spiritual terms does not want. It is known that he is particularly trying to destroy the relationships that make shape between a believer man and his confessor. Sometimes there are thoughts that condemn it gives "special vision" (as under magnifying glass) its flaws. Sometimes he excites the unbearable desire to "live in his own way" without connecting himself with the advice and instructions of the confessor. And sometimes, as in your case, trying to put on and strengthen the addiction to it in the shower. Therefore, realizing that you have the action of the enemy, do not hurry to make a decision. As far as you can understand, you yourself and yourself quite soberly assess our own experiences, you understand their character. If you truly trust your confessor, tell me about your temptation to confession and consult with him how to be.

However, if with time you will see that, in spite of everything, the temptation to overcome fails, that it wins and captures you, then it will be better to leave, because instead of benefit it is one harder. But it is also better to do this with advice.

In general, with such a weak, it is necessary to fight, as with any other. You need to be honest with you and at the same time - strict to yourself, do not obey your passions and in no case justify them. And at the same time, at the same time, to God, as well as he, as soon as he was possible, turned her.

At the Orthodox Forum, I sometimes answer me: "On this issue, the Orthodox priests do not have a single position, consult with your confessor." But my confessor died a few years ago. In the same temple serve a few yeres, which are probably a different position. How to be in this case?

The igumen nectaria (frost) is responsible, the abbot of the bishop church in honor of the icon of the Mother of God "Soothe my sorrows" G. Saratov:

The loss of the confessor is always a difficult test for a believer. But life continues, and she really puts new questions before us, from the right answer to which a lot depends. And, probably, it would be wrong to try to resolve them exclusively through discussion on various Orthodox forums. In any case, it is necessary to try to choose some one temple for yourself and, if possible, one priest who would have been constantly confessed. And he, knowing you, your life that happens in your soul could answer the questions you arise not "abstract", but personally, seeing a completely concrete person in front of you.

Who do priests profess and do they make it before every liturgy that serve or not?

The igumen nectaria (frost) is responsible, the abbot of the bishop church in honor of the icon of the Mother of God "Soothe my sorrows" G. Saratov:

To confess the priest, like any other Orthodox Christian, can have a different priest, his confessor or simply a collateral. Since the Life Clearing is all in the ministry of Liturgy, then such a firm rule, as for the laity, with respect to the mandatory confession to the communion of the Holy Taine for him. The priest himself determines the frequency with which he needs to approach the sacrament of confession, all internal need for this is very different. For example, it can be said that the confessor of the brothering of the Trinity-Sergiye Lavra Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov), as a rule, confessed almost before every liturgy, which he had to serve. Similarly, the famous Glinsky old man Schirchimandrit Andronik (Lukash) said that shepherds who call for repentance of others should more often repent themselves, otherwise they will teach people what they do not themselves.

Is it possible to confess on the Internet on the Orthodox site?

The priest Mikhail Vorobiev, the abbot of the temple in honor of the Exaltation of the Honest Life-Giving Cross of the Lord Volsk:

The sacrament of the confession is syneergietino by its nature. It is carried out as a result of the joint action of the two forces: Divine Grace and Human Will. For the forgiveness of sins is impossible without a deep, sincere condemnation of his sinful deeds, wrong feelings and desires. The Russian word "repentance" reveals the depth of such self-judgment, because repentance is the identification of himself with Caine, the first person, first, and therefore the most guilty criminal. In the Great language, the sacrament of repentance is denoted by the word "methane", meaning the change of mind, will, the whole human being. Quick sinner wants to free himself from his sin. He wanted to be a literally to become another person, he wants to dreamed from his past, to discard him from himself, treat his past as a stranger. Confession is not just a listing of perfect sins, but, first of all, a prayer for the gift of spiritual forces to combat temptations that are responding to the heart.

One of the most dangerous manifestations of sinfulness is conscious or unconscious self-absorption. The confession does not benefit, if a person, consciously or subconsciously, justifies his sin with some circumstances, accuses other people, regrets himself, wants to look in the priest's eyes better than he really is.

That is why the sacrament of confession is performed only in the dialogue of the sinner and the priest. The sincerity of repentance is confirmed by readiness to tell everything about himself, fully reveal his heart. The joint prayer of the swing and confessor is very important. That is why correspondence confession on the Internet or by mail, or some other "remote" method is impossible. Even if a person wishes to repent of the face of rapidly impending death, and there is no priest nearby, another person witnessed his repentance.

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Archpriest Oleg Melnichuk: "It happens, you will throw my family to throw my family, but about those whom the Lord got you, always remember."

- Spiritual mentoring and churching is a single process or is there a difference between these holy peasants?

- Spiritual mentoring is the main mechanism, the main spiritual doing on the way to the coercury. The coercury is the process of entry into the life of the church. They have both general and deeply individual character. For some people, one word is enough so that they go to the temple, and for others you need to give all ourselves, to devote ten years so that they take in the heart of God, truly believed. Sometimes the priest needs to "crucify himself" so that the person came and saw Christ ... especially if a person has some special abilities or has other social status.

Note, the churching is the introduction of a person to the church, not to the candlestick, but to the holy bowl, to Jesus himself. Huge work is to reach the heart of such a person. If there is no spiritual mentoring in the process of insertion, a person risks to become not Orthodox, but "Orthodox". This is a huge danger for a person, his family.

- About spiritual mentoring they speak a lot and write. Who is a spiritual mentor?

- Why does Orthodoxy universal in his essence? Why is it correct? Because there is an invaluable institute - spiritualism. As Luka Afonovsky said: "The confessor is a man who builds the shore, sends and regulates the speed of your and family ship on the life river." The confessor protects the ship from a crash, directing it on a safe way.

- The confessor of the family - who and why he?

Family is a whole world that consists of a variety of other worlds: the world of her husband and wife, the world of children. It is easier to reach women, because they have a thinner soulful system. They are more cardiac. After all, faith is the doing of the heart, and then only the mind. A woman plays a major role in the process of spiritual formation, she is spiritual locomotive of the whole family. The confessor also identifies flights for locomotive and the entire composition. No confessor - no path, no movement. The family confessor has a special relationship with the family as a whole, and with her husband and wife, and children separately.
Why did the family confessor be in noble families before? Because every member of the family has its own individual needs, you need a side view for the whole family.

The family confessor lives by the categories of two free: God's will and the will of his Chad. Very often the confessor can act as a psychologist, psychiatrist, friend. It happens that the confessor explains, and the family does not agree. It is impossible to insist, you should not violate the freedom of choice. If you do not hear, you need time. The confessor has already performed his mission, gave advice.
The spiritual leadership is not power, it is self-sacrifice. The confessor is the chairman of the court of jury, people of authoritative and observe process.

- Is everything depends on the spiritual mentor? What is important not to miss?

- Very important confidence in the configuration. This is the basis. Trust is the first stage to faith. There is always spiritual cohabitation between family and the confessor. The confessor who gives himself, lives spiritual chad. But here another question arises - about the borders of the spirituality.

Love is limitless. But there must be a place for self-preservation. When do you live, giving up 110%, what remains for yourself?! Experience? Yes. Changing the grace of the Holy Spirit? Yes. Life in God and the enlightenment of what will be in this family in three, four, five years? Yes. And when the family does not want to hear, then the next spiritual formula is applicable: the right decision that the family accepted itself, and not that the confessor advised. The confessor is ready to offer a true, the right path. Roulek, who had the wrong course, transformed into a puddle and turned into a whole pond, the sea ...

- It is not easy to find a real confessor, especially in our time. Is it possible to recognize a false mentor?

- I am sure that the false confessor will immediately feel. A real confessor is able to love to truly give love and manifest wisdom to the whole family as a whole and to each member of the family separately. Love is not a click, it is tightened near the throne of God, at night, during the day, on services and in household life. In the search for the confessor, a heart should work through prayer, as the heart is more completely in cognition.

- If a person found a spiritual mentor, prays about obedience. How not to lose a mentor?

- Pray - it means to keep a dialogue with God. The fruit of prayer is humility. The root of humility is the world, staying in the world. Once obedience comes for humility. The basis of the word obedience is hearing, hearing, i.e. you need to listen, hear. If there is peace and hearing in man, it means he is able to hear the mouthpiece.

Relationship with your confessor must be preserved because it shows the will of God, the path of family happiness. Family mentor gives the form of family life and fills it with a special atmosphere. The confessor can never make a liturgy without remembering his children. It happens, your family will throw your family, but about those that the Lord got to you, always remember.
It is very important that there is reciprocity. No reciprocity - no spiritual joint perspective.

Natalia Goroshkova and Julia soft

Photo from page about. Oleg Melnichuka on Facebook

Does one and the same priest be confised? Do I need to especially look for a spiritual mentor? Is it permissible to change the confessor? When is the confessor becoming a spiritual father?

Who is the confessor? Not always the answer to this question is obvious: sometimes people are trying to put the priest too wide "Powers" - they are looking for a mentor in it not only in their spiritual correction, but also in different life, sometimes even household situations. Is it true? Why do you really need a confessor? The abbot of the Peter and Paul Temple of Saratov Igumen Netary (Morozov) is arguing.

Unfortunately, often people coming to the temple are considered acceptable for themselves to confess today from one priest, and the next time the other. Although it is strange, because we will try to find one nice doctor for healing some kind of bodily disease so that it is doing for us all the time.

The same can be said about the relationship between man and priest. When someone comes to the confession to the priest one, the second, the third time, he begins a little bit of this parishioner to learn: the circumstances of his life, his inner warehouse, some personal features. So there are trusting relationships, the person begins to bother with this priest, who gradually becomes his confessor.

In the environment of believers there is such an idea: you must first ask the priest to be a confessor, then he will not just take confession, but also to pray for his spiritual Chado. In my opinion, it is possible, of course, and ask, but the fact is that Christian life does not tolerate any formalism. If a person's priest regularly sees in front of him, he penetrates with some sorrels, sadness, needs, refers to them as his own in some sense, then he will certainly pray for this man. If a priest who has a person professing for several years in a row, does not pray for him, it is strange to expect that after such a request will begin.

Church life must be completely natural, natural, like breathingAnd it does not need any complex sticks, structures associated with the claiming of something and with the answer to it - positive or negative. And otherwise some solemn statements are sounded, people seem to agree on something even, but these relationships do not fold. When they have developed, it is absolutely optionally it is specifically called something. There is a fact itself, and it is much more significant than any of his names.

Catcher and Spiritual Father

There are certain differences between the confessor and the spiritual father. Probably, it is possible to characterize them like this: the confessor is a priest who has a person regularly professing and with whom it is regularly advised, and the spiritual father is a priest who managed to contribute to the birth of a person for Christian life. After all, the process of entering this life is not always painless: sometimes the passions rise, and temptations are overcome. And when the priest everything was worried about everything with a man - like parents who sit at the bed of a sick child without sleep and relax, until they put it on their feet, then it appears. And the man himself begins to treat the priest so. This is a completely definite level of care and responsibility of the confidence and trust and obedience of Chad.

Holding a confessor is always a sacrament

« Does the confessor need somehow specially search, and how to do it right?"- The question is very common. It is much easier when a person goes to some kind of temple, lives the life of the arrival and acquires a confessor there. But it may turn out that he came to some particular temple, located closer to the house or for some reason, came to the heart, but there he does not meet a priest who would cause a special sense of confidence, whose answers would correspond to their internal spiritual needs. , his need. After all, in life, we also communicate with many people, but few become friends and loved ones. BUT ideally, of course, the confessor or spiritual father should be a close man - who you are unanswered. And then it is completely natural to go to the service in another temple or climb on the Internet and read that such a priest says that he writes such. And it happens, you hear in the temple of someone's preaching, which will touch the heart, and as a result you will understand that this particular priest can become a real mentor for you.

It is not always that it turns out, but this does not mean that it is not necessary to live a church life and constantly walk to the same priest to confession and seek advice. I am now talking about a certain ideal to which you need to strive.

Finding a confessor or spiritual father is always a sacrament. I sealed in the heart of the word of one priest that confession is the mystery of adoption: first, man is God, because he again out of his son who went to the country of distant, turns into the Son of the Beloved, who returned to the father's house; And secondly, a kind of person a priest, because there is a special relationship between them.

If Pasomo has a genuine desire to change, if everything is serious, really deeply, it becomes a key to the same sincere and serious attitude towards him of the priest and it as a shepherd can give much more. And then these the most relations of the sons and paternity are tied up and installed.

After all, sometimes you are trying on the spot, because you are not hears that you do not hear - does not listen - it does not listen. He does not need your words, and you need something your own, and this "something" can be at all in the plane of Christian life. Such a person will be able to console, support, but his spiritual life will not receive development, and at some point these relationships will be outliers and move to some mutual disappointment.

Of course, one of the tasks of the priest - to point the person to these and other mistakes, more precisely - to help them see them, so that he does not wander the circles, but he walked more directly, cut it. Such a kind of navigator. More accurately say: the confessor helps to go through the way he once passed.

Do I need to change the confessor?

There is such a delicate situation when a person who faded at one priest, then for some reason he understands that he wants to appeal to the spiritual council to another father and confess already from him. Is it worth listening to these internal needs?

In my opinion, a person must in the Church to seek what he serves to create his soul and helps to go to salvation. And if you understand that the priest cannot answer the most important questions of your life, will definitely look for another - it is completely correct and natural.

But it is necessary to be in relation to yourself, probably even more stringent than to the priest. After all, it often happens that a person, asking questions, is waiting for the answers to change something in his life, and at the same time nothing does anything. But those answers that we get can only indicate us the direction of the way, encourage some internal work. And if this work is not, then after some time, the answers will lose for us as if their relevance. Often, precisely because of this, people join some wandering in the church.

Sometimes it is not at all that the priest does not give you something important, because he is not attentive, not read, not deep, but simply you at some point you understand that another priest is closer to you in spirit. How to do? I believe that there is no single rule here, everything is quite individual. One elderly father said: if you have a spiritual father and you for some reason you leave for another priest, then you may have a good spiritual stepfather, but no longer a father. This, I emphasize, if there was a spiritual father. If there were no such deep, serious internal relations with the priest, then I do not see any obstacles to the change of the confessor.

With a confessor or without a confessor?

Is it possible to do absolutely without a confessor? Do not have a priest to which you come to confession regularly and which you ask some questions, - in my opinion, it is impossible, it will be completely wrong. But without a confessor who can lead you through the Christian life, which can be in some extent the teacher of this life, people sometimes have to do. Because the very spiritual ministry requires a shepherd rather great return and self-sacrifice. But the modern priest, like any modern person, is very little to such self-dedication ability.

However, you need to remember: all that people do not give us, can fill the Lord. In Catema there are such words: " God please so you, people, fix each other and you, people, listened to each other" Therefore, in no case cannot be neglected by the fact that the Lord sends. If the priest can teach you something, let them teach. If you need something more, the Lord will give you more: or another priest, or in this priest something will open.

The Lord will fill, if we with humility and with trust will be looking for this. But this is in cases where we are really looking for.

Hegumen Netary (Morozov)
Prepared Inna Stromilova
Orthodoxy.ru.

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1797 10.01.2008

I do not want to call the book that I recently read, there is talking about one young girl who came to the temple and began to treat his confessor as a friend, and then it all ended very sad for her. She even fell in love with his confessor. It happens that a person considers every word of the confessor for what was said to Pope Roman. And each word is perceived as a blessing. On the other hand, it happens and on the contrary: the confessor says to man the same thing many times, and a person is not going to listen at all

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Today's topic was offered our volunteers. They are interested in whether a confessor needs to make good deeds under his leadership. We would like to ask the listeners, what place in your life takes the confessor, how do you think it is possible to escape without a confessor, do you need to do good deeds under his leadership, was it difficult to find it?

Now we can freely confess our faith. And on the other hand, animal atheism, which prevails among our people, is much more terrible than even atheism ideological. Now all people call themselves believers, many call themselves Christians, not even being baptized. And at the same time, nothing knows about spiritual life. And we are all, in my opinion, we need everything in the spiritual guide. Therefore, it is normal and natural that every person still has a confessor. What place he takes in our lives is a separate question. Some believe that the confessors are needed only by monks. In any case, I, when I stayed without a confessor, it was very hard to live, I really needed spiritual icy.



Marina Vasilyeva: Batyushka, the fact is that when the patristic works were written, they were written by monks for monks. And we are talking about the confessor for the laity.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Now there are many modern tickets that write books answer questions. But the fact is that spiritual questions are always the questions deeply personal. And what is useful for one can be harmful to the other. So one person needs to be strictly fasting, and another person is contraindicated at the moment. One can be allowed to watch TV, and another is categorically forbidden, say. And not always a person can commemporate his strength, and not always a person can understand what can be personally. And if a person begins to be guided in his life with the lives of saints, he may, in the end, come to the charms, go crazy. I know such cases when young people wanted to embody in their lives, as it seemed to them, some ideal, and it was pretty bad. Here the confessor is just needed, because there are a lot of books, but I, for example, notice that over the years, reading the same book, I start to see something new in it. I have some extracts, and now I understand that I understood not at all what it was necessary to understand. What conscience is not called at all what I believed in my conscience. You can make a correspondence between what is written in the book: there are three forces in the shower - the strength is intelligent, the power is desirable, the power is irritable. And in my soul where are these forces? Here I look at the Atlas, the heart is drawn there. I'm sick - yeah, here it, found. But this power - where is it for me? Or is there talking about some sin, there is in me or not? Sometimes people are concave in sins, which they have no. They suffer because of this, suffer, but in fact there is no sin even.

Marina Vasilyeva: And can not whether it is so that a person consisting of obedience from the confessor loses responsibility, does not want to think himself, make decisions in life? And it becomes such infantile and unsatisfied.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Well, probably, it happens. On the one hand, you can become stupid and greedy. And on the other hand, you can become an extrusion, a person who does not appreciate the things that God gives him there cannot contain a family. To find the golden middle, it seems to me that the confessor can help.

Marina Vasilyeva: But what are there any dangers in relations between the confessor and the spiritual children? Bend in one or the other side?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: There are dangers about which they write about in modern literature. I do not want to call the book that I recently read, there is talking about one young girl who came to the temple and began to treat his confessor as a friend, and then it all ended very sad for her. She even fell in love with his confessor. It happens that a person considers every word of the confessor for what was said to Pope Roman. And each word is perceived as a blessing. On the other hand, it happens and on the contrary: the confessor says to man the same thing many times, and a person is not going to listen at all.

Marina Vasilyeva: But if you really have perceived what is written in most Orthodox books, you need to unintently listen to what they tell you and try to fulfill. And you say that this is also one of the dangers.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Sometimes someone comes to me when I hurry somewhere, is busy with my own thoughts, and they say: "Batyushka, bless it." I say: "Good." I don't even even listen to him. He believes that the saint's father. Still, if you ask some serious question, you need, firstly, pray. Then you need to tell the confessor in detail what interests you. No need to think that every confessor is an old man who, without any questions, and without explanations, you know what you need. And if you feel that the priest did not understand something, you need to explain again. Well, of course, it is necessary to relate with faith, one wonderful confessor said that the priest is like a water tap. He may be rusty and bad, but if you can open it, then water is poured from this crane for a thirsty soul. And this ability to open the crane is just a faith in the fact that through this priest God can reveal my will. If there is no confidence, you need to look for another confessor. And you need to repent that there is no confidence. Because this trust may not be anyone anyone. That is, not because this confessor is uneducated or too talkative, or something else. And just a person does not want to trust anyone, does everything in his own way. The confessor is a person from whom we are confess. Which we are talking about our innermost movements of the soul and heart.

Marina Vasilyeva: Why do you need a confessor, if you can come to any priest to confession, and the sacrament will take place. What is the meaning of such special relations?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: There is no sense, if the person is self-sufficient, if he believes that the priest is a certain automatic for the forgiveness of sins like a barrier. Here you come up, he lowered the Epitrohil from above, allowed you and silently let go. Checkpoint before communion. If a person is not self-sufficient, if he has some questions if he himself cannot sort out himself, if he does not trust himself if he himself does not know what moderate him to choose the post, prayer, if he does not know, How to build life if he suffers and understands his all sinfulness, so without a confessor it is difficult for him.

Radi-eyed: You say you need to have a confessor. And quite recently, Father Dmitry Smirnov said that so few of our priests and such a big past, that every person had a confessor simply unreal.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: There are a lot of priests in Moscow, although they are very busy, but helping to confess and bump out other people are their duty. Of course, not every priest can be an older. I sometimes appeal to me: "Patty, that's where the elders have. I here want to go, consult. " You won't get to your father Kirill, Paul's father was (Gruztev), he died. Nikolai Guryanov's father is no longer. There are wonderful priests, but I somehow I am afraid to call them elders. But there are good priests, wonderful spiritualists. Father Georgy Breyshev, Father Valerian Krchetov. There are zealous and young priests and in our temple. I will not call them to not embarrass them. Very serious, very attentive, very thoughtful, those who ill for their spiritual chad, their leading spiritual life. And for them, I feel free to send those people who come to our temple.

How to feed turhesings?
Marina Vasilyeva: Batyushka, in general, what questions are worth asking the confessor? Do you really need to consult how often to buy a coat?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: I think the confessor can ask everything. And when a person belongs to a children's confessor, it happens that he answers the questions very easily. We know that, to the Reverend Amvrosya Optina, who was, of course, an old man, and not just a confessor, some kind of woman came and said that she had Mrut turkey. And he told her how to feed them, what should be done with them. He was told: "Batyushka, what are you doing something with her?". And he answered: "Well, how do you not understand? In these turbines - all her life! ". Although not the spiritual question, how to feed the turbines, but for her it was a very important question.
It is known that while the girl did not get married, there are a lot of such "stupid" questions. And when she gets married, they somehow leave. And she obviously needed not spiritual leadership to a greater extent, and complain to life, tell about his problems. And therefore she does not need a confessor, because she does not need spiritual life. There are sins, but they do not want to learn about them, they do not want to understand especially in themselves. They do not want to deeply repent of their sins.

Natalia Murzina: Batyushka, and such things, how to do the operation - also need to ask the confessor?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: When my grandson was born, which was offered to make a heart surgery, but they never did this operation in Russia, it seemed to me that it would be just some kind of experience over the child. The operation is extremely painful and terrible. And there are 20% of children on foreign statisticians living there. I would like the child lived. On the other hand, I do not want to torment the child when he can not help. But to say to the doctors that we do not want to make an operation, it was like a mortal sentence. And my confessor said that he had to ask the elder. I went to the Father Kirill (Pavlov). Father Cyrill said: "Well, what to torment the child?". And we abandoned the operation.

And we had another situation: my wife was sick with cancer. And we did not want to make an operation, we were configured somehow very categorically. It seemed to us that if you do an operation, she would still die soon than it was supposed. We have written Father Paul. Father Paul was an amazing elder, turning. And he wrote: "How do doctors decide." And we began to look for good doctors. And doctors are different, I know very well, because for 17 years I am a hospital priest. And when we found a doctor, Paul's father wrote: "Yes, this is a good doctor. And he can be completely confident. " And we trusted this woman, they made an operation and the wife lived six more years. Still, raised younger daughter. And if they had not done the operation, she would certainly die earlier, I don't know how we experienced it. She was with us for six years and we gradually got used to the thought that she was sick. So I answer such questions too: you need to ask doctors. Ask one, second, third. If their opinions coincide on some question, it means that you need to make an operation.

Still bassushki are often advised to be convinced. Here is the father of John (peasantkin) often said that it was necessary to be confused, coming up, and then go to the doctor. A good doctor is an instrument in the hands of God. If you treat the doctor's trust, pray for a doctor, then the benefits will be much more. Through doctors there are also miracles. And to refuse doctors is a sin. We know that the Apostle Luke was a doctor. There were many doctors of nonsensebrennikov, and this is also a miracle.

One man told me such a story. He had a wife, a sick cancer, she was offered to make an operation. They turned to some old man. This elder forbade the operation and said that he would treat her himself. And he treated her, I do not know what he was treated with her, but something else. Prayers can do its own. But the woman died very quickly in terrible flour. He had children: a girl, in my opinion, 16 years old and a boy is 10 years old. This man does not know how to explain it now. He believes that the elder is to blame for not allowed to make an operation. So it is still dangerous to ignore the doctors.

Radi-eyed: How can I choose a confessor? For example, I like the father, the preaching of him is the most interesting, you just need to come and say that I would like to be my confessor?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: I think you need to go to confession to one priest, to another. There are excellent preachers, but no artists. It happens on the contrary, beautiful devils, but no preachers. I would talk with the priest. Asked, listened, asked the Council from him, repenting in sins. You can determine how the priest can more help me correct. This is not necessarily the kindest priest. This is a priest who is more benefit brings to correct my soul. And in fact, strict conformists are useful to us than the kind, which everyone is allowed. Here the father Paul (Troitsky) was a very strict confessor. When he confessed in the Danilovsky monastery in his youth, there was always little people to him, because it was very difficult. However, many of them choose it, because they wanted strict guidance.

Natalia Murzina: Batyushka, here I have many acquaintances who also want to find a confessor. If they try to obey the father in everything, they will lose freedom that is given from birth. And they are afraid that the confessor will begin to command them. These concerns can be justified?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Maybe. Priests, like all people, are aggravated by some passions. And the priest can be powerful, for example. The priest may wish to insist on his. They talk about the danger of journalism. There are even such elders in the monasteries who say to pilgrims: I bless you to stay in the monastery.

Marina Vasilyeva: And what to do?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Leave.

Natalia Murzina: And be a dissatisfied with the confessor, doubt it, it is not a sin?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: You can understand why this happens in you. I also had unhappy with my confessor. A good confessor will never bind to human freedom. I know was a holy elder who knew the will of God. He always wrote so: the will of God's such thing, and you do how you want. If a person said that I don't want to do that, well, do, how do you want, but don't contact me, because what's the point of talking to you? So here the freedom is gained in God, freedom from sinful habits, from passions.

Radi-eyed: Batyushka, tell me, is there a book about father Pavel (Troitsk)? If there is, how is it called?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: There is a book about Father Pavel (Troitsk). But she, in my opinion, was already separated. And, probably, you can find information on the website of the Holy Tikhon Orthodox University. I do not know if there is this book in electronic form. Father Vladimir Vorobyev really wants to reprint it. He was a favorite chance of Father Paul. But he wants to make some additions, corrections. He is a very detailed man and serious, and he has very little time, so this is all postponed, unfortunately.

Marina Vasilyeva: Patushka, here you say that many people in principle do not need a confessor, just a person in fact a person needs to talk to someone, and he does not seek spiritual life. Maybe he does not know how to strive? Or can not? Maybe this is the task of the confessor to help him, set up?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Forcibly MIL will not. If a person does not want to make him get it?

Marina Vasilyeva: Maybe he just does not know?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: He hears the sermon, reads books. The man comes to confession, does not want to hear anything, and the confessor does he speak about spiritual life about the spiritual life, about the mercy of the Spirit of the Holy Spirit, about the art of prayer? You imagine when you see empty eyes and you see that it does not understand anything, you can't say anything. It happens.

Radi-eyed: You talked about the patients. I am also sick with cancer. And my husband was a priest. I came to the despondency, lying all day in full solitude. I saw all my nightmarish sins. But I can't break out from this captivity! I never even thought that I was such a bad person, there was always a good opinion about myself. Now there is no. How to break out of this despair and despair? I even have such black thoughts, drink some feenasepam more and just not wake up.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: In such a disease, there are, of course, temptations and longing. And my wife had such black thoughts. But she communched at least once a week. Before his death, she commits holy saints every day. She had metastases in the liver. And when she communched, there was even pain. It seems to me that you just have to confess and commitory. Let us send you some kind of good.

Radi-eyed: My husband is a priest. And I have some kind of flour for him. I am him like a stone on the neck.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: The priest's husband is still not a priest for his wife. Husband often does not confess his wife. And the attitude to her husband is not like a priest, because it is very difficult to treat a person you see in all its weaknesses and everyday affairs, as a priest. It is necessary to confess and commituate from some other priest.

Natalia Murzina: Probably the confessor can instruct a person for good deeds. And then independence in such matters is harmful, Avva Dorofey says that there is nothing more dangerous than to believe his own heart.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: The spiritual life, as the holy fathers say, begins with the fact that a person sees his sins like the sand of the sea. If I see my sins like the sea sand, if I see that inside me, there is not true, there is evil, then how can I trust? And you are afraid of freedom to lose. Freedom from what? From God or from sin? If a person wants freedom from sin, so he gives himself to God's slavery. It is impossible to be free from everything.

History of volunteers Alexey 22 years old. He has time to learn from the fifth year and work with a specialty engineer-designer. And in his free time coordinates the activities of our volunteers in the North-West District of Moscow. And it all started with how he returned from the festive service in a bright Sunday. Alexey - somewhere in March I had a very little bit of free time. I think why I find my free time in order to sit at the computer, to see, relax with friends, and so that you do not have time to help people? I am strong enough, healthy, normal guy. I can't find time to help weak? No, something is wrong here. Began to look for someone to help. At first I wanted to help children, patients with leukemia. I do not know why it was on it. I had one familiar priest who said that you could talk to my sisters in one hospital. Sisters gave a negative response, as it is necessary for this special education. But one day, passing by one temple, an ad was noticed on the door: we invite you in mercy, and such a black and white homeless is drawn. Naturally, terrible. I looked at him and thought that I could not. But the phone recorded just in case. And just at Easter, after the holiday service, inspired by the holiday, decided to call. Talked with the father. I was immediately identified at the Burdenko Hospital. Helping young soldiers, guys who blew out somewhere or were injured. For me, this, of course, was crazy. At first I thought that I would talk there, there were different doubts, thoughts. In the next weekend, my coordinator and I went to the hospital. He popled me a little on the road. I presented myself that now would enter the ward, and there will be something terrible. And I do not know if I can look at it. But everything was much easier. Came, and there are normal people. Then I myself became the coordinator of the district. And began to bind people who needed help and helping to help. Very actually an interesting occupation. I became more satisfied with myself. And, probably, this is the main thing. Maybe even the conscience tormented me that I didn't do anything practically. And here at least I do a little. Maybe somehow got kind. More cheerful, since I was already ceased to torment the feeling, life was filled, it became easier. Moreover, you can choose time. It is like a menu in the restaurant you bring. You choose this very much and so much in so much. Of course, it happens, the people are missing. Recently, with one volunteer we went to the ward to the hospital who felt very badly, his sister was asked to ensure her care. When we arrived, they saw a man who simply lies under a dropper with glucose and is not able to eat, but akin to drinking water. At the hospital was a temple. We asked for a man to help. And the priest came, cooled him. And a few hours later, Victor did not. The service itself, the love of the patient itself is already bringing no coordinators, but volunteers. That is, they come, they give their time, their attention, love. A volunteer man, giving love, acquires love. We are waiting for new volunteers every Sunday at 11.45 in the Church of St. Balant. Dimitrius under the 1st Grad Hospital. You can come to us for prayers at seven o'clock in the evening on Thursday. We now have another shortage of volunteers in the Northern District in the River Station area. And if we are listening to people who are comfortable to help there, we are very and really waiting for you.

Marina Vasilyeva: Batyushka, and if the confessors need to volunteers?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: I think the confessor needs someone who needs it. And in no case impose a confessor. It is impossible to impose love to a person, it is impossible to impose faith. If he needs it, then you can get. In fact, the lack of elders, the confesshers is explained by the fact that they are not needed to modern people. Earlier in every region, probably, in each diocese were blissful, there were elders, because they were looking for them, they asked the Council. Whether to marry, whether to go to the monastery, whether to erect any farm. People were looking for a response from God through them. Now this answer is not searched, appreciating their own freedom more than the joy of communication with God. Therefore, the Lord does not open such people. There are no novices, so there are no those who give good advice.

Natalia Murzina: We are now talking about such organizations of Orthodox - sisterhood, volunteers. And what other organizations can need a confessor? And what is his role?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: The fact that the organization has a confessor, does not mean that he confesses everything there. Not everyone can go for advice. He just looks at the fact that the organization does not lose the spiritual direction, ensures that it does not change Orthodoxy. After all, it happens that some youth organizations, calling themselves Orthodox, acquire character, for example, political movements, are directly reborn. For this, the confessor must follow.

Marina Vasilyeva: Batyushka, it turns out that young people are easier to find a confessor, most of my acquaintances have confessors. But all these are young people. And people aged to find the confessor much more difficult.

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Maybe, elderly, the confessor is not so needed, because their life has already been established. So I needed a confessor, because I came to faith from the absolute disbelief. From the mass of sins. If a person is already an elderly, who has already consisted, then his confessor is needed to a lesser extent. And the young man living in this outdoor world, where many very temptations, the confessor is more important.

Natalia Murzina: You have already started talking about your confessor. I think that relations between the laity and priests are clear to us, since we are the laity. And how are the relationship between the confessor and if they are both priests?

Arkady Shatov Arkady: Of course, the priest his confessor pays more attention. When I come to confession, I don't stand in line, the father immediately leads me to the altar. I see the lames stand, poor, to confession. Hour, two, three, four. I feel so sorry for me. I do not know what to do. I want to immediately cover them immediately. Crighten. And let go.

The question of the confessor is one of the most frequently asked in the church. It is only formulated it is very different. Someone believes that our time is so good that there are no priests, who are experienced enough to serve anyone to any spiritual mentors. Other, on the contrary, believe that without a confessor and is being saved, it is impossible. Others are interested in the question of purely practical: how to find a confessor? In our opinion, the topic of spiritualism is the most important in modern church life, in need of discussion in various aspects. But to start a conversation on this topic seems to be better from the very first question: why do you need a confessor? Having answered him, it will be easier to answer other questions.

Alexander Leonidovich Dvorkin, theologian, leading sectoral specialist, Professor of the Orthodox Holy Tikhonovsky University, Moscow:

- The confessor is a priest who is regularly confessing, who knows our spiritual problems well and our vital circumstances. Accordingly, for our confessional practice and for serious Christian life, of course, to go to the priest, who already knows our problems and can advise how to solve them. But, at the same time, of course, the presence of a confessor is not a condition of salvation. It happens that a person has no permanent confessor for one reason or another, but nevertheless it does not mean that without a confessor, this person will not be able to escape or will disappear. Just the presence of a confessor is a great help to a person seeking to conduct a serious spiritual life, and without a confessor - it can all be much more difficult.

But I, in general, at all stages of my life were the wonderful artists who provided to me the necessary spiritual assistance, especially considering the case I do. Such a special blessing of God that I really had always good conformists, so it's hard to imagine how I could cope without them. Although there were situations when, say, I lived in Germany, and my confessor - in America, so it turned out: I confessed from a priest in the temple, which went, but on all important issues, they are not so often, but once in A couple of months arose, - I just called my confessor and consulted with him.

And the help of the confessor is a prayer that protects, tips on important issues that he gives me.

Mikhail Mchidlishvili, artist-icon painter, member of the creative union of artists of Russia, Moscow:

- I think the confessor is needed so that the person does not wander in the search for the right life decisions. The spiritual leader, having learned the identity of a person, can be calmer and shortly by spiritually to send it to he, so that he has found his God in his heart and love for people to walk in life with minimal everyday losses. The confessor is especially necessary in our unstable time, when so little depends on us when a person hesitates all the time, doubts how it is true. And if there is a confidence in the confidence in the confidence in the confidence, a reverent attitude and the desire to fulfill his blessings, then his life is simplifiable, he discarded a lot of unnecessary, and mostly doubts.

From the lives of the saints, we know that there were such devotees, for example, the Rev. Maria Egypt, which and without spiritual leadership reached holiness. But this, of course, exceptional cases, and personally, it is very difficult for me to speak, because I myself could not do without a spiritual mentor. I think that in general it is unlikely to a modern person without a confessor, but a great difficulty is to find it. And this, judging by the fact that they write, say, on the Internet, constitutes a problem for people: despite the current abundance of priests, it is difficult to find such that can bother for truly. I can say that I had several beautifones before the found of my current spiritual leader.

What is the difference between life with the confessor and without a confessor? And I see it on some of my friends, as it is hard without a confessor, they stuff so much cones. They advise that it is necessary to find a confessor, to trust completely, because all our plans, actions are very erroneous, the risks are unstable, and you need a person who can direct our lives, relying on his spiritual experience. But people hope for themselves more, on their everyday knowledge, although, if you figure it out, they are often very incorrect, because they are based on their own pride.
But there is another aspect: if the confessor is far away. So I live in Moscow, and my confessor - in Tbilisi. I think some people are mistaken, believing that the confessor should attend often, contact him with each question, all the time he has in sight. It seems to me that if a person carefully listens to the words of the confessor, addressed to him or even to someone else, he has a very big actual material, and he has a dialogue with the confessor, all the time he carries the image of the father in his Heart, and communication is not interrupted, despite the distance.

And the assistance of the spiritual father is, naturally, first of all, in his prayer. And I feel it almost at the physical level. That is, all these states of the recession, of course, and now there is, but nevertheless, if the father serves as a liturgy or prayer, I always have a little hope-confidence that maybe he will remember me. This is the joy and strengthening of the Spirit. And then there is a big joy at all that he is in my life and my loved ones: they also communicate with his spouse, and son, and daughter, and grandchildren. He knows our life situation, knows all our story, and we are spiritually "strip." I am sure that the real confessor wants more for his Chad than Choo for himself.

Vladimir Legguda, editor-in-chief of the magazine "Thomas", Moscow:

- I think that the confessor is needed, first of all, in order for the path of man to God to God, if you can say, more secure. Because it is very often such situations that can only save the wise confessor. This is especially true for a modern person - although, maybe not only, but what for the modern, then I can testify to this and my life, and the life of my acquaintances. In general, in any case you need a mentor, teacher, therefore it is always easier, when there is a leader in spiritual life, - very many mistakes will be avoided then. More precisely, it is not even not to make mistakes at all - they will not cost them without them, but that if there is a confessor, then it goes like these mistakes along with a person, and it is very important. The role of the spiritual father can be compared with the role of his father in the family. Similarly, in spiritual life.

Well, can I do without a confessor? I think, in principle, it is possible, because in the matter of our salvation it is impossible to do without Christ. Another thing is whether you need to do? Of course, without a confessor, a real confessor, a man is much more complicated. At the same time, if the question is meant if it is possible in principle to be saved, without having a confessor, then, of course, I think the answer will be positive.

In general, in the question of finding, finding the confessor, as in the matter of relationship with him, it is very important, in my opinion, to avoid two extremes. On the one hand, some self-conceit: "I can decide everything myself." I believe that such a self, of course, is wrong, as it can be far away, so if there is a priest, to which a person can turn to how to the confessor, then it's better to contact. Another extreme is the desire to find a person who can shift everything. When: "Patty, bless to eat, bless to go to the woods to walk, bless, bless, bless ...". " And this is not a joke - I personally know such an attitude to the confessor. When people, reading several works on Asshetics and learning about the monastic practice of daily confession of thoughts to the spiritual father, whatever they seek to find a confessor, and finding that they can now call him every day, ask many insignificant issues to make you decide Household questions of their family. But, in general, in fact, the modern secular person is even impossible to deeply understand what it is, - to live in complete obedience to the confessor. It seems to me that these are two extremes, and by the way, this second extreme can be a dangerous trend on the part of the spiritualist; This is what is called "Youngcombity": When the confessor believes that he must and has the full right to lead the will of his spiritual Chad on every second of his life and in all matters, including domestic and so on.

It is quite easy for me to compare life with a confessor and without him, because I was in principle brought up in the teacher - student system. Actually, this is a normal system of human relationships in different areas of being, and not only in the spiritual sphere: when a person at a certain stage of his life, or even always, in relation to someone is in the position of the student. In this sense, with its, of course, features - it is quite possible that spiritual child in relation to the confessor is a student in relation to the teacher. For me personally, this condition is natural and I just looked around him. And although never the hysterical formulation of this issue was: "And what should I do if I do not find the confessor in the next month?! How can I live further?! ", But the desire to find the confessor has always been natural to me.
Another thing is that there is another danger, - if we talk about extremes - when you are looking for a person who is just comfortable for you. By the way, pass between the jetty jerkdom and the harybda of the liberal "simulatory" - this is the art of any life, including spiritual, and it is not regulated by any universal rules. But, of course, it is easier to those who are a supporter of the existence of authorities, "lighthouses" - which can be equal. And I consider it the norm of life.

For example, I had such an experience of finding a confessor. I came to confession, and although it was not my first confession, but, let's say, the initial experience, therefore the attitude towards her was still specific, I would say prenoophytic. The priest asked me a question about sin, which I was not going to confess, considering that this is something very personal, that it is impossible to talk about it. He asked me this question, and I just cried in response - lowered my head and cried. And suddenly heard that he cries over me. And then I realized that I had a confessor.

Answering the question of what I get help from the confessor, I can say that the most important thing for me is what I once heard from one wonderful priest: it is very important that the shepherd can inspire. And my confessor is a man who, of course, inspires and helps a lot in situations of the most "petitioned involigancy", in which you periodically get on. Inspires because always indicates the path of Christ. At the same time, it is not obscure Christ, but showing Christ; His life with its own prayers. This is true and very strong assistance in the most difficult moments when a person fails in the seeming sense of the surrounding life.
And, finally, the main thing, as it seems to me, in this matter I very accurately expressed the saccy of the Roman (bear): "The task of the shepherd is to raise the soul so that she could be before the Lord and quite freely and deliberately chose good ...".

Alexy Timakov Priest, Temple cleric in the name of Saints Rev. Zosima and Savvatiya Solovetsky in Goljanovo, Moscow, permanent author of Alpha and Omega magazine:

- We plunge into a spiritual life like blind kittens, and, of course, we need a leader, a person who has experience in finding God. The most important quality of the confessor is his ability and the opportunity prays, to preserve the other, for you, ask before God. Any priest, professing man, precedes the rank of repentance with prayer. Thus, God's presence is approved for confession, and his active participation in it, and human powerlessness in such a serious spiritual doing. Regardless of its moral or intellectual qualities, the Batyushka sometimes will say that the questioning is surprised: "How many things are open!". In its internal level, the priest himself could not say such a thing, but prayer makes it possible to transfer from God that it is necessary to hear a particular person. The confessor, the priest, if so to speak, is obliged to pray for his service, to read the rules - how much does it work well, but he still does it, preparing for Liturgy, commemorates those who asked them to pray, takes out For them, a particle on the ambassia, and this is the most important thing that he can give a person. Yes, of course, the priest sins, and "Firewood rubs," and mistaken, but still he has a boldness before God for people, and if a person does not fall on that path, then the Lord on the prayers of the confessor can fix it, and correct it that the person himself will not be.

Is it possible to do without a confessor? - And how can I get blind without a guide? If a person has no confessor, it means that he himself has to interpret the Holy Scripture. Probably, with the help of some literature, it is possible to do, but a living word, a living example is completely different. It is akin to casuistic office work: what to do in some particular case, relying on the experience of another, which passed through this and knows how in what situation it is necessary to act. And not necessarily the spiritual experience is purchased for confession, it may be in a simple conversation. Recall, for example, Pairius Svyatogorz, who just talked to his loved ones, and the words went from the soul to the soul, and fixed it. Spiritual experience absorbs sometimes not even through words, but in the image, in spirit. You can educate in different ways: "Do how I said!" Or "do, like me!". The real confessor raises an example.

I will add that other times, no matter how unexpected, there are parishioners who know the spiritual life better than any other tickets, are familiar with it from the inside. But they themselves at one time passed a good school of prayer doing under the guidance of an experienced mentor. Therefore, we must certainly take into account that we are learning from each other. And it is not necessary to rely only on the experience of the priest. I myself, for example, knew several deeply believers of Mijan - they were already left of the life - which I have shown a lot of examples of really Orthodox life, and I still remember what they said. There is one instructive parable on this. One holy life of the wilderness made a liturgy on the Arian rank, served a reverent, in the servor of the angels. And once he found himself in another community and during the service he pointed out. He was surprised, because the angels never stopped him. And when he in his temple again made a lunch, he turned to heavenly forces: "What did you say to me, because I served as a heretic?". And he was the answer: "people are learned from people." We are always learning from each other. Therefore, a person who is more mature is more visible, more sophisticated, as it said in the Apostle Paul: being sophisticated, he himself can be a tempting assistance (Heb. 2, 18). Of course, the confessor is not every priest can be. This is the testimony of the infinity that is very thrill now with us: barely having time to take a san, the priest is already becoming spiritual chads.

In general, without the confessor it is extremely difficult, it is even impossible to do. Is it possible in scientific life without a supervisor? Because there is a one who absorbed the experience of previous generations and remembers how Ivan Vasilyevich did in one situation, and Vasily Ivanovich was in another; Knows the principle of search, developed by years, knows the methodology: how and where to look. And in shemanhood.
For me, a difficult question: Compare life without a confessor and with a confessor, because I have always been near those who possess the correct vision, the gift of spiritual reasoning. And how is a spiritual life without a confessor going on? Well, probably, in myself "cook", the owner himself, his head, "the director himself". Thus, a sectarianism is born, cutting off the church. The confessor is not easy to find, but did a person try to pray for this? Let it triggers, let it seek: Suitable to one confession, to another, will talk. And then spiritual connection is born, and the person feels that he was born again. No wonder the mentor is called a spiritual father. But most often a person finds his shepherd in that temple, where he brought his Lord for the first time.

If we talk about the help that we get from the confessor is, above all, his prayers, as talked above, and, of course, good advice.

Olesya Nikolaev, poet, teacher of the Moscow Literary Institute:

"A person who does not have a confessor, even the accustomed to analyze his life, to consider the possible consequences of his actions and will be readiness for them to bear responsibility, of course, it turns out to be in a more vulnerable situation than the person who has a confessor. Because our sin-damaged nature sometimes gives us such twisted "optics" that we are completely inadequately begin to perceive events and ourselves in the context of these events. We begin to lead a very subtle feeling of pride or goodies, and we think that we do honestly and correctly, by the will of God, but in fact we can be just a toy in the hands of a fishing, which, of course, cunning us and much better knows all kinds of secret psychological The moves of their "client".

And the person who has a confessor, and the confessor who knows him for a long or at least some time is dedicated to the secrets and features of his life, family circumstances, psychological warehouse, seems about his possibilities or, on the contrary, some weaknesses, - To some extent, protected from its own spiritual curvature and the false choice of will, "a convenient to sin", as its holy fathers defined. Of course, I think life under the leadership of the confessor, more godly and in the spiritual plan is safe.

I personally can say with confidence that it is difficult to do without a confessor. Very hard. Of course, there are such circumstances when it is not near or it is unavailable for communication, but then you are looking for some kind of man, wise and mature, which could be believed to belong my own solutions, actions, - maybe a more spiritual person or even just older. In general, one of the holy fathers wrote that if a person wants to know the will of God, he learns her even from the baby. Therefore, it seems to me that in a situation where a person turned out to be somewhere far abroad, where there is no Orthodox church, and he has to live in an inoculmonial or amount - inocultural, inokon confessional environment, if he with a prayer appeals to the Lord and learns to read The events that occur with him, if his soul is in the dialogue with fishery and wants to know the will of God about himself, if he lives carefully, he, by the grace of God, will not die. In the Gospel, Christ says: "Notice that hear" (MK. 4, 24). If we really noticed it, we could find out everything you need for our salvation.

Fortunately, we live in an Orthodox country, we have such a number of temples, we have wonderful priests with the most different spiritual dating - there are kind nodes, there are psychologists-intellectuals, there are prayer ascetles-monks, harsh or, on the contrary, very merciful - and Everyone can find a confessor in his inclination and dispensation.

In my life there are such periods when my confessor is very far away. I suffer, because I can't speak some questions with him, some kind of internal conflicts allow. And then I'm trying to do this to confession, bringing these life misunderstandings to the priest, which I confess. In general, in my opinion, a believer, probably, would like to be a guardian angel, and, simply, said, as he needed to act in one way or another, because there are such confusing situations. .. But the Lord for some reason does not allow this: his man in his creative freedom is detectable to him, not deterministic in his personal choice.

And if we talk about the appointment of the confessor, I suppose that it is to help a person to hear his calling, open the intention of God about himself, to help find the spiritual meaning of what is happening to him, that is, lead to Christ.

The priest of Sergius Maslennikov, Cleaning of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra in Moscow:

- Without a confessor, it is very difficult to seek the way of salvation. Without it, life in the church is almost impossible - this will tell you anyone who lives church life - from a simple parishioner to Lord. Therefore, come to the elders-chistles, they are advised, asked. And it is unquestioning that he will say them, even if it happens hard.

The confessor teaches cut off his will. Therefore, the bombing of the spiritual father is, first of all, life in obedience. The execution of the councils of the confessor is afraid of the enemy.

Of course, and without a confessor, you can follow the path of salvation and escape, but then the path from the point "A" to the item "B" will not be straightforward. Well, if it happened so that you live near the Lavra or someone's monastery, there are conformists there and you can choose a shepherd in your heart. And in a remote little city, not everyone is given to find with a large letter of the "confessor", and people living there do not have to talk about the "high" spiritual life. But then the Lord and asks the person less. God corrects the lack of pastoral assistance or to the gift of a person of his own spiritual experience, or mourn.

But in my life there was no such moment when I was without a confessor. Yes, they changed, but were always, so personally it is difficult for me to say how my life would be without a confessor.

Usually the sly is trying to "build" his "city" in the soul of man and confuse its path, surrounding the heart of the wall of conventions. And a person is often amenable to these temptations. And the confessor to the grace of God for the obedience of Chad, he has the power to handle these "impassable walls". To do this, it is necessary, without hiding anything, to tell the confessor about the mighty temptations, and then he will point out the exit, and on his prayers all the enemies of the "Building" will be destroyed, and, having freed himself, a person will be able to move on his spiritual path.

Salotina Irina Yuryevna, Neonatologist of the Higher Category, Member of the Diocesan Society of Orthodox Doctors:

- Happy one who has gained the spiritual father in the grace of God! Because no matter how sociable and communicable man, he is alone in his spiritual life.

Open your soul with the purpose of her cleansing from sin is most fully possible only to the confessor. He, regularly taking our confession, will recognize us much better than close relatives and friends. Therefore, the instruction of it is the right one.
Taking any decision, I suffer in doubts for a long time. But it is worth taking a blessing from a spiritual mentor, as a problem is allowed to be favorable, although sometimes and an unexpected way. After all, it myself, the Lord Handpoint of the priest blesses our things if they are pleasing to him. And what source of wisdom and virtue are spiritual conversations! They are striking from domestic fumes to gain hardness and confidence that everything is transient than love. Chuda-corded by the conf desk becomes a parish community in which all adversity are easier.

In difficult moments of your life, I always feel the prayer assistance of the spiritual father, which leads us, his Chad, to salvation.

Marina Shmelev, employee of the Holy Trinity Cathedral of Saratov:

"When a person confesses from different priests, many of the spiritual life issues to him have to solve himself." It turns out that on the one hand he seems to hold the advice with the priest, and on the other? Myself head and myself head. While the confessor helps relate the domestic experience of a believer with a deceic tradition, with the voice of the Church. Recomidentious to him, the Christian lives no longer according to his mind, is humbled to someone else's will, learn to listen and hear. Own actions, thoughts, feelings he can see as if a look of another person. Moreover, the look of the confessor, on the one hand, is objective: because it is not related to us related or friendly relations. On the other hand, this look is not an extraneous, which is indifferent to your fate, but the person's splating you. Probably, all this meant my girlfriend-Kazakh, when she said: "What are you, Christians, happy that you can go to confession, talk, consult!".

Also, the confessor is needed in order to share the experience of spiritual life with his chad. So that the believer has seen an example of the modern life in Christ. After all, there are many situations in life when it is not enough to read a smart book. Incidentally, the Council and the living word of participation are invaluable at such a moment.

And, of course, the confessor is needed to support and consolation. Nowadays, a person who strives to live according to the commandments of God, others are perceived as a strange, incompetent, and that is not entirely healthy. Relatives, close, friends sometimes do not just push the Christian on sin, but also the whole view show that this is the norm of human relations. In such a situation, it is simply vital to see that on the way to Christ you are not alone that you are at least two.

Orthodoxy and modernity number 5, 2007