Can he forgive me past mistakes. How to forgive yourself for past mistakes? I thank life for all the good that it gives me

Forgive yourself simply if you know how. A universal formula of forgiveness exists! how forgive yourself and live on? 6 steps to forgive yourself. The affirmation of forgiveness, which must be repeated in order to forgive oneself easily and quickly. We continue the topic of forgiveness begun in the article:.

How to forgive yourself? Why forgive?

Forgive yourself - it means stop blaming yourself, stop, stop destroying your own.

Forgiveness of oneself is an important step, a starting point on the path of self-love. .

Being able to forgive yourself is vital.

Often behind our unwillingness to forgive another lies our inability to forgive ourselves.

Forgiveness of oneself - This is an in-depth process of self-therapy and self-healing of the soul. Removing the burden of guilt and resentment from the shoulders and stone from the soul.

6 steps to forgive yourself and let go of pain

Do you have something to forgive yourself for? So do it!

Having forgiven yourself, be sure to follow these 6 steps:

1. 1. You can write a letter, or you can talk with the offender, imagining him sitting on a chair opposite.
    
    3) Forgive your parents for their childhood. None of the parents wake up in the morning with the thought and words: “Listen, but I just found three more ways how we can ruin our child’s life”.
    No, parents always do their best to be good parents.
    But their own, lack of knowledge and upbringing skills, as well as the burden of hardships of life, often come together and lead to actions that hurt us.
    
    There is nothing personal about it, there is no concrete desire to prick or offend us. Therefore, write one at a time to each of those who surrounded you in childhood and unknowingly caused you pain and suffering.
    4) Forgive your Inner Child. Perhaps the most important.
    Meditation on forgiving yourself and other people
    Conduct a meditation of forgiveness on each of the pre-compiled list.
    The duration of meditation depends on the proximity of the person. Relatives by blood - from half an hour to two hours. Husbands, wives, lovers - from half an hour to three hours, depending on the complexity of the relationship. Outsiders - acquaintances, friends, employees, casual passers-by - up to half an hour. It is worth noting that the time is indicated in general - that is, you can “forgive” 10 days for three minutes, and in general it will be half an hour. The signal that the process of forgiveness is completed will be a sensation of warmth in the region of the heart.
    
    So, we select a candidate for forgiveness and say it out loud or to ourselves (if you are in transport, for example) as many times as will fit in the time you define for this person:
    “With love and gratitude, I forgive (NAME) and accept him as the Lord God created him. I forgive my forgiveness (NAME) for all my thoughts, emotions and actions in relation to him. "
    
    When you feel that forgiveness has occurred and it is time to stop, say the following 8 times:
    “With love and gratitude (NAME) forgives me.”
    
    After that, proceed to the next person on your forgiveness list, and so on, until you cross off everyone from the list. In my experience, to forgive everyone, it takes from a month to three (this is if you carry out this meditation in transport, while doing other household chores - that is, if you do not sit down and deliberately do not meditate. In this case, it will take much less days.
    And another very important clarification: the list of any person should begin from the same person - MYSELF.
    
    Until you forgive yourself - and this turns out to be the most difficult in practice - you cannot qualitatively clear yourself of insults from the past.
    If you need to forgive a person who has already left this world, the text of meditation changes a little:
    “With love and gratitude, I forgive (NAME) and let him go. I apologize to (NAME) for all my thoughts, emotions and actions in relation to him. "
    
    In addition to the meditation of forgiveness given, forgiveness mantras are also useful: you can turn them on while pronouncing the text of forgiveness or just listen and sing. Mantras will magically speed up the process of getting rid of grievances.
    
    Forgive yourself and return to the present!
    Real forgiveness brings us back to the present - to the place where pleasant events can happen in your life, where you yourself can do something useful for your own better future, for your family and your friends.

Svetlana Rumyantseva

Feeling guilty haunts 75% of the world's people. Pangs of conscience haunt day and night. They put pressure on the psyche, creating. Feeling of guilt becomes the weakness of the person who is used, because it is so easy to put pressure on a sore spot. And if there are several? And each of them interferes with a full life? There is only one solution: learn to forgive yourself.

Where does guilt for my own actions come from?

Everyone has an ideal idea of \u200b\u200bsociety and themselves. This image is an impeccable picture that says what a person should be. The ideal determines what is permissible and what should not be allowed, what qualities a “good” person should have, and what are “bad”. He paints the images of a respectable family man, a successful worker, a loving mother, a skilled lover. Sigmund Freud called this part of the person's personality “Super-I”: shame, conscience, morality and the inquisitor, merciless judge who punishes without investigation and proceedings.

"Ideal-I" hides in the depths of the subconscious and is formed from childhood. First, parents, then educators and teachers, the public environment. , which was supposed to help a person to get accustomed to society, destroys the personality from the inside:

It punishes, but not for “bad” or “good” actions. Conscience pronounces a sentence for the inconsistency of reality with an ideal idea.
Feeling guilty is unreasonable. It does not allow to think and analyze the situation, but only corrodes from the inside, sweeping away all the justifiable arguments.
Internal conflict. Negative, allowing conscience to continue their execution for new "misconduct."

Why is it important to forgive yourself?

Feeling guilty provokes an internal conflict that destroys the psyche. Mental discomfort is reflected in physical well-being: chronic diseases are exacerbated, autonomic disorders develop, and nerves are lost. Self-torture can lead to:

neurosis;
psychological breakdowns;
painful self-control;
unsuccessful attempts to adjust themselves to social standards;
self-pity, physiological and psychological weakness;
development;
anxiety, inferiority complex.

Blaming yourself, not giving a single chance for forgiveness, you live in the past. Trying to justify someone else's opinion, a person cannot be himself. He loses the right to his own thoughts, tastes and outlook on life. Happiness gradually eludes, the ability to rejoice, to be sincere, to show the real leaves. Remains masks and moral masochism. And how else to name the state of self-torture?

Unable to fix the past. Thinking about it, you cannot build a future.

He ceases to adequately assess himself, the situation, and the people around him, becoming easy prey for manipulators. Guilt does not require action. Remorse does not end with attempts to rectify the situation and lead to a personal impasse. Why it happens?

Looking for answers from the subconscious

At a subconscious level, guilt and fear are accepted as a useful property of the psyche. In fact, everything is different. The subconscious is afraid of change. it tries to create constancy. But the world does not stand still, people, society, living conditions are changing, even the weather is different every day. Guilt brings a person back, keeps him in the networks of the past, so as not to allow change to overwhelm the future.

Myths of the subconscious:

Protection.
In a subconscious representation, wine reminds a person of bad deeds that hurt someone or caused a negative reaction from others. This is insurance against the repetition of a similar situation. In fact, fear is an unstable pillar of relationships. . Problems are solved by deeds, not by internal remorse.
Love.
Accepting blame for his own imperfection, a person seeks forgiveness from loved ones. Repenting and suffering exponentially, he seeks acceptance and love from others. In fact, he is so accustomed to his role that self-flagellation becomes the norm.
Humanity.
Ideally, guilty feelings do not forget about compassion and harm another person. In reality, following this myth leads to dependence on the opinions of others. A person lives according to the desires of other people, forgetting about himself.
The engine of development.
Punishing himself for "bad" actions, a person hopes for further correction, change. He believes that such a situation will no longer happen, tries to insure himself against “inappropriate” behavior and lives in the past.

Feeling of guilt is cultivated in a person specifically to regulate his social behavior. Gradually, it turns from a mythical protector into a real destroyer.

What prevents to forgive yourself?

Pride

The desire to be the best compels a person to set the bar too high. Rigid criticism of self-esteem and excessive loyalty to others - a sign of excessive pride. She is born out of love for herself, emphasis only on her feelings and aspirations. Pride does not forgive its own misconduct.

Inferiority complex

Born from self-dislike. Such a person does not accept himself, he forgets about his needs, does not care about feelings. He is dependent on others, and guilt even further distances him from the true "I". The condemnation in the eyes of others, the unjustified expectations of mom or the second half remind of their own “inferiority”, making them suffer under the yoke of guilt.

Act.

Decide why forgiveness is important to you and what needs to be let go. Remember all the painful moments that cause guilt. Analyze the situation. What aroused conscience? If these are unjustified expectations, feel free to forgive your own sins. If this is an act that caused pain or harm to another person, you can apologize or try to repair the damage.

The past should not interfere with the future. Let yourself go for a clean slate. Change your outlook on life. Mistakes are the engine of progress. Experience is more important than safe constancy. The action will not allow to focus on the past, it is directed to the future, and the path to it lies through the present.

Your friends are successful and wealthy, but you are not? Do not self-derogate. What is the reason for the success of others and your failures? Make an action plan, change, find a new job, get a good education. Live and move forward, and do not expect someone to take the first step and calm your conscience.

Letting go of the past.

The world is imperfect. There are no perfect people. There are no exceptions to this rule. Why blame yourself for all personal and other people's failures? Many people’s actions lead to one mistake, not just your personal efforts. Do not go back to the failures of the past. If they bother you too often, analyze painful situations. Conscious conclusions will help you not to make repeated mistakes in the future and will correct your behavior. Forgiveness of oneself is the beginning of a new life. Consider whether something can be fixed right now. If not, move on.

Do an analysis of the past. Sometimes guilty feelings arise for no apparent reason. Find the starting point. For example, you have a few extra pounds, and you blame yourself for weakness and inability to get rid of them. But? Think, when this idea was born in your mind, who put it there. Most painful thoughts are inspired from outside. Some slender beauty classmate pointed a finger at a chubby girl and laughed. She sowed the grain, which grew into a huge one. He puts pressure on the psyche, forcing a person to strive for other people's ideals.

When an attempt to change oneself by another person’s standards ends in defeat, guilt wakes up. And beauty is not at all in weight. Complexes make the person ugly, not extra pounds. Each girl has her own structure. What came up with the beauty of asthenic physique will not look at the beautiful lady from the picture of Rubens, and vice versa.

Forgive others and apologize for yourself

Forgiving yourself is more difficult than another person, but you should start with a simpler step. Let go of the negativity caused by other people. Learn to apologize if wrong. When they forgive you, it is easier to let go of the blame and not reproach yourself for what you have done.

It is necessary in simple words, reinforcing them with actions. Do not hide the apology behind ambiguous phrases, do not shirk and do not hide, then conscience will have fewer reasons for “punishment”.

If you had a fight with a close friend, do not reproach yourself in vain. Look at the situation from the side. What do you feel guilty for? Sorry. Try to fix the situation.

Be responsible

Admit your mistakes. But only them and nobody else! Learn to be honest with yourself and admit to hidden motives. It is foolish to make excuses to others, but to come up with excuses for yourself is even more stupid. Accept your role in events that make you feel guilty. Leave the negativity in the past.

If guilty feelings torment you for hidden desires and thoughts, admit yourself to them. Take them fully. Hidden motives are released during the development of internal conflict under the guise of other aspirations. For example, specifically looking for occasions, but in fact he is unbearably want to hit his boss.

Accept yourself

Recognize your beliefs and characteristics. Decide what is important to you, what you have. Separate your desires from the expectations of others. Everything that is legal and does not harm other people is correct and should not be condemned. Do not try to fit into other people's standards. Someone loves broccoli, and someone likes pies, someone likes noisy companies, and someone likes quiet evenings. Be natural and listen to yourself and your desires. Do not let others impose their opinions and tastes on you. Your value is your uniqueness.

Why can't you blame yourself?

You are not responsible for the perception of the interlocutor. It’s not your fault if he understood something wrong. You are not responsible for his reaction. Leave the internal conflicts and problems of the interlocutor to him and do not take someone else's reaction to your heart.
Do not blame yourself for the mistakes. School years accustomed us to the red pen in the fields and grades. Life does not put a mark, it does not have a five-point scale and is mandatory for the implementation of the program. Here and now you are creating the future, and if you do not want a repetition of the past, do not torment yourself with memories of what has already happened. It is impossible to predict everything.
You are not responsible for the feelings of others. Each person has his own upbringing and understanding of life. Information about the world comes to consciousness through an individual prism of perception. If a person sees everything in a different light and acts according to his own convictions, your fault is not in this.
It’s not your fault if you cannot do something. A man cannot do everything. Learn and be persistent. If the failure has occurred again, find other ways to solve the problem. As Einstein said, it’s foolish to judge the intelligence of a fish by forcing it to climb a tree.
Do not blame yourself for frustrations, setbacks, misunderstandings. What happened is gone. Self-punishment will not help you become better or change the past.

Forgive yourself, do not let guilty feelings rule you, and you will open a new future in which there will be no place for the ghosts of the past.

March 2, 2014, 12:43

From the previous Holy Week until recently, I was engaged in approximately the following: hysteria, painful to close people, did not notice the needs of homework, and then, having a little regained consciousness, manically apologized to everyone, incidentally blaming myself for everything - real and invented by my own painful consciousness.

I clearly remembered the time because it was then that the brakes failed. I sat on the net and was not distracted by anything else. Not a little daughter, nor other worries. Then somehow it came to the realization that "something is not right." And I began to harass everyone with this very “sorry”.

Why did I apologize? For tantrums and for inattention. For insensibility and evil deeds. I requested. Sincerely. And she could not calm down, even seeing that people ... and did not think to be offended. It all seemed to me that it was all “in words”, but “in fact” no one even wanted to know me after all these tantrums and other then behavior.

But I continued to torment myself with guilt for everything, and others of mine: “I'm sorry.” I came up with an explanation - one more beautiful than the other. I played too much, sometimes I’m too selfish, then I’m depressed, then I have “understandable fatigue after childbirth”, or I’ve been completely rude because I didn’t read the morning rule that day. And vinyl-vinyl in everything itself.

All this ended in an unpleasant, but useful. For some reason, I informed one of the eternal recipients of this “forgiveness” that she herself creates guilt for me. I was tired at that moment from this eternal feeling of guilt, self-indulgence and persistent feeling: "I ruined all friendly relations." I could not stand it and decided to throw part of the blame on my neighbor. What she received was not the usual silence on the slurred “forgive me, I’m a fool, sinful”, but a rather sharp rebuke: “I didn’t create any guilt and, you know, I don’t want to talk after such words.”

It was so strange to me. After all, I feel guilty about everything in front of everyone, in particular and even in particular, and no one ... no one understands this impulse, does not accept it and does not respond in any way.

After this conversation, I forbade myself to succumb to this self-indulgence and voluptuously search for new explanations for my tantrums and condition, and then somehow I slowly realized that I should forgive not just someone, but only myself.

Forgive for tantrums, weakness and inattention to others. Understand why this was all so. Without self-pity, just “fixing” - it was not easy for me, I could not cope with some life's challenges, I am weak.

But what is forgiving? This is not to forget, of course, and continue to behave the same. To draw conclusions and try to move on, without looking back at that period when she could worry because someone did not answer the letter, while not noticing her daughter sobbing at her side.

Any act of forgiveness is not only words that cannot be applied to oneself. Artificially say to yourself: "I have forgiven you, dear." No, this is an active process. It is a process of changing oneself and one's behavior. In relation to yourself and others.

No need to sigh picturesquely: "I am a bad mother." If you continue to not notice the sobbing of the child, you will be an even worse mother. Conscious of her "badness" and doing nothing with it. The child does not need a mother who only verbally admits her mistakes. My elder tells me that I smile little at him. And no matter how much I repeat to him: “Yes, I’m wrong,” nothing will change until I am able to smile sincerely at him.

You don’t have to eat yourself for what a poor journalist and editor you are. As long as you continue to not write and fill up all the deadlines, you will still be a bad journalist and editor, no matter how much and no matter how sincerely you say how bad you are.

And beat yourself in the chest: "I'm a bad Christian" is also not necessary. Bad of course. How else can you call a person who wakes Sunday Liturgy every week? Well, who would be better off from this barren self-flagellation? Does the Lord expect this from us? I don’t think so. Christianity is not about that at all. This is the lifestyle of active people, not self-governing entities, who at the same time do not change anything in their lives and are not even going to move towards Him.

But in order to stop all this self-eating, you must forgive yourself. Recognize weakness. Recognize imperfection. In order to move on. In order to become at least a little better mother, journalist and at least a little closer to the fact that talking about yourself as a Christian was not so embarrassing.

Such is the mood before the Forgiveness Resurrection. I will probably refrain from sending out “forgive” different people. However, I never really made them. But I will also refrain from “forgiving” for the hundredth time to those whom I really hurt. Only by deeds can you apologize. Both at home and in others. His other state, his attention, his active love.

Forgiveness is not easy. But if you can forgive someone, you can find the strength in yourself, then forgiving yourself is very difficult, and sometimes even impossible. Religious ideas about such concepts as “paradise” and “hell” paint terrible pictures of the future for the layman. The impressionable natures are not recommended to study such treatises at all, especially since this “hell” is full here in the world manifested, to the extent where we live.

Our hell is in our own head, in our thoughts, in our memory, which again and again brings us back to the days that have long been left behind, to the days that a person would have lived differently now, would have acted differently, would not have said those words, I wouldn’t go there or vice versa, I would come earlier. Each "hell" has its own, so to speak, personal. Hell has many faces. And one of his faces is the inability to forgive himself. With a load of guilt, mistakes and memories, this is how we spend our days as if surviving.

Someone has learned to close his eyes to his “hell”, to ignore it, as if “hell” does not exist. And he really retreats, it is true, for a while, but then he rolls with a redoubled, or even tripled strength, sweeping everything and everything in its path. It is for this reason that many people are so unpleasant state of loneliness. We are not talking about loneliness in the global sense of the word, but about loneliness, when a person is not comfortable being alone even for a short time. God alone knows what thoughts and feelings he experiences, remaining alone with himself, with his thoughts, with his guilt and his “hell”.

Stop sawing sawdust!

Today we would like to talk about how to forgive ourselves. Where to find the very forces that will help you get out of the vicious circle, where to find the forces to accept your past. Indeed, if a person accepts everything that was with him, he accepts himself, he accepts his Fate and his Experience, even if the value (negative, not positive) is not quite to his person’s liking.

Forgiving ourselves, we accept ourselves. Accepted as we are. Year after year, no matter how “righteous” we are, we still accumulate a huge number of mistakes, large and small, which we, like a heavy bag, we pull on our own backs. In such a baggage not go far. Isn’t it easier to sit down, untie your burden and look into the bag? Isn’t it easier to take out from it everything that happened a long time ago and what has happened cannot be changed? Isn’t it easier to look into all your fears, grievances and your guilt in the eyes, telling them: “I see you. I know about you. I accept you. I thank you. "

Experience. Our whole life is an experience. NLPists say: "There is nothing unequivocally bad and there is nothing unequivocally good, but everything is experience." If you think about this phrase, we will agree with it, because it is.

Living with his head turned back, trying to move forward in this position, the person does not go far. In his life, at least, nothing is happening. It’s absolutely nothing, as if he didn’t live at all, and he exists, just erases his days, in the painful expectation of that very - the last day, which will, as it seems to him, be a deliverance from everything and everything.

Guilt blocks life's flow. It is like dirt corroding from the inside. Slowly but surely. And it is only up to a person to decide whether to live with guilt further, or having done work on mistakes, to find freedom and a chance for happiness.

Suffering or even afflicted, adoring to suffer forever, raising their hands to the sky, they continually say theatrically: “How? How can I forgive myself? I cant! No, I can’t do it! This is beyond my power! I don’t know what to do at all! ”

When a person who eats his own food is told, “You need to forgive yourself,” he immediately says: “Ohhh, no, I can’t! This is not for me at all! ” you need to understand it something like this: "No, are you so nice to feel poor, so nice to feel sorry for yourself, so nice to be a victim of circumstances, and indeed to be unhappy."

Well, all those who do not want to forgive themselves, who do not want to work on themselves, stay, as Radislav Gapdapas says "in the ass." "Sori" in advance for his French.

Those who are tired of sadly wandering through life with a backpack of unnecessary junk behind their backs are dedicated to everything that will be discussed below.

The steps to healing are simple.

The first step to your own forgiveness is to understand WHY then you did just that and not otherwise. Perhaps life circumstances developed in this way, perhaps what you did then was the only sure way to do it at all.
Now, after the passage of time, we are all smart, we all know how to, and how not, but then everything was different. And this must be recognized. hind mind. You need to admit the right to make a mistake. Everyone has it. Yes, then you did not know much, could not know. And if the situation repeated again, now you would probably have acted differently.
Answer your question: “Why should I forgive myself?” Yes, yes! Perhaps you do not want this at all? Perhaps it’s convenient for you to live the way you live now? In fact, everything suits you, but for some unknown reason you do not want to recognize the benefits of your own position. Believe me, this can also be.
It is important to answer the question: “WHY was this experience useful to me? What have I learned from the current situation? ”After all, it is always extremely important to realize everything that happened, it is important to look at the situation from a different angle. It always enriches and makes it possible to see what remains behind the scenes.
Also, do not forget to ask yourself: “Why is it now profitable for me to constantly blame myself for what happened then?” Perhaps you are just blasting yourself out of self-pity, or maybe justifying yourself with something guilty that you don’t want to do today. Man is a rather cunning creation. And if something is not profitable for him, he is unlikely to suffer just like that.
It is extremely important to realize that at the moment when your situation happened, you were doing only what you could do. Someone did not have the resources to do otherwise, someone had no experience, someone simply did not have the strength. It happened and it is a given. Now this reality can only be accepted. Accept and forgive, having drawn the appropriate conclusions.
It is equally important to realize that the “past” is therefore called the “past”, because it has already passed, it cannot be returned. This is a given that cannot be changed, but one can always change the attitude towards this given. If desired, of course. The most true, the most correct thing you can do is to accept everything as it is.
Today it’s important to understand what your list of life values \u200b\u200bis. It is no secret that with age or because of life circumstances that have occurred, they change. so what are your values? If five years ago you had an abortion, and now you are terribly sorry about it, this can be understood. Indeed, today for you - family and children and value. And then, five years ago, for you completely different things were in the foreground. For this you can eat yourself alive, but this is a fact that had a place to be. Now everything is different.
Mentally returning to the past, separate emotions from facts. Yes, this and that happened, but I felt and continue to feel this and that. Now try to mentally separate what happened from yourself, as if it wasn’t your story, but just some abstract story with someone that had happened. Following this, it will separate from you the feelings that have depressed you for so long. Try to mentally burn them on a large fire, hear a crack, see the flames. Ask for the past day. Forever and ever.
Once again, we remind ourselves that you are a living person and you have the right to make a mistake. There is not a single person in the whole world who has never made a mistake in his life. So have you really decided that you are so special? Funny, isn't it?
Make a list of what you can love for? But this list will not relate to someone who will love you, but to you. Why can you love yourself? It is very important. This work organizes a lot in the head, and in the soul, too, arranges everything in its place.
Write yourself a letter from an adult perspective. Imagine that you are an adult, write a letter to your baby. Forgive this inner child. Yes, perhaps there is something to scold him for, there is something to spank him for. Do it and then I'm sorry. After all, punishment always follows forgiveness.
More often say to yourself: “I forgive myself”, “I accept myself as I am”, “I love myself as I was created by nature”, “I give myself the opportunity to be happy.” More often - this does not mean - two or three a month. More often it’s thirty, it’s fifty times a day. Especially on those very days when the sky seems like the size of a sheepskin. And, of course, no one has canceled healing meditations. There are a lot of them, including you can listen to mediations that are

In many religions, we are taught to forgive not only our loved ones, but also to forget our own mistakes of the past. However, it is worth doing this only after learning from the experience gained.

Misconduct is part of life

Life is not permanently smooth, on the way of every person there are bumps that he has to overcome in order to improve himself. What we went through tempers us and makes us stronger. The most important thing is to admit: “I am to blame” (if this is true), draw conclusions and move on.

If you make a mistake, harm others, become a victim of deception or false errors, first of all, try to correct the situation. However, this is not always possible. Sometimes people are tormented by the final result of their own actions. The soul is aggravated by sad thoughts and the desire to return everything back, to do otherwise.

In this case, the church, and just common sense, offers to repent, to forgive oneself, to forget all the bad experiences associated with this incident. In such situations, it is very important not to go completely and irrevocably into the sphere of emotions, not to lose one’s head.

Lean on a sober mind

You should be guided by logic, reassure yourself with the thought that your actions were wrong and led to bad consequences, but in the future you will not do this again, because you gained invaluable experience. As they say, only one who does nothing is not mistaken.

If earlier you made this or that decision, you saw the point in this. Not always a person has adequate and truthful information about everything that happens around. He may become a victim of fraud or misinterpretation of the facts. The good news is that the mistakes of the past will most likely teach you to be careful in the future, carefully think through each step, and plan your own actions wisely. Very few manage to realize this in theory, and only a select few learn from the failures of others. But it is better to get knowledge in this way than not to get it at all.

Everything happens as it should

Life is like wandering in a dark room with porcelain dishes on the shelves. If you want, you don’t want, and if you do not turn on the light, you’ll hurt something. Each mistake prompts us to light a new light in our path, thanks to which the truth is revealed before our eyes.

How to forgive yourself if after a while you notice how stupid and unjustified were your own actions logically? It’s worth calming down and realizing that in the past your knowledge base was much more modest and increased precisely because of the failure for which you reproach yourself so much. Isn’t it more rational, on the contrary, to praise and thank yourself for not sitting idly by, but trying to do at least something?

Many even limit their activities, because they are too insecure, afraid to make mistakes. Although shame still arises from them because of their own constriction. So both action and inaction are good in place and in time. Few are born with an intuitive sense of this subtle harmony. You can figure out how to act, it is with experience, after you have stepped on a couple of rakes.

Set yourself free

There is nothing worse than living with a heavy weight on the soul, not knowing how to forgive yourself. People who accept this kind of thinking themselves poison their lives. If it is possible to correct the deed - do it, if not - apologize.

If you can’t even apologize, it remains only to analyze the situation and develop a model of action for further such cases. But this is already a lot.

Human experience is crucial. Going through separate situations, we become wiser. Thinking that everything could have worked out much better, do not forget that, most likely, there simply were not proper conditions for this. As it is impossible to build a durable house on a poor foundation, it is impossible to get a good result under the conditions of poor prerequisites.

The problem needs to be sorted out

In any case, you should try to justify yourself. But that doesn’t just mean giving up on the situation. Only unscrupulous people can do this, always putting their interests at the forefront. The main argument for forgiveness is that you pursued false ideas, did not have enough information.

Few people can see the future, so often you have to go through life in the dark. Someone examines the road carefully, but even he is not safe from embarrassment. Not to mention impulsive and impressionable people. This is not to say that these are bad traits. They can play a pretty good role in a number of other situations. Finding the right path, such individuals direct all their passion in a good direction. But if such a person, essentially a maximalist, stumbles, he will repeat himself hundreds of times: “I’m guilty, how could I make such a mistake?” And bite my own elbows with bitterness. In essence, it is a waste of energy. Sooner or later, when emotions still subside, they have to draw conclusions and live on.

Relapses of Self-Flagellation

Man cannot suffer indefinitely. The world around him is constantly changing, not standing still. New goals will appear, and the acquired experience will serve properly when they are achieved. However, many people suffer from the fact that periodically (it happens once a week, every month - differently for everyone) they are pricked with a sharp sting of conscience. How to forgive yourself in such a situation?

If you suffer from such relapses, it means that you did not understand the situation before. It’s not enough just to get away from the problem, it needs to be comprehended, to perfectly understand and draw conclusions. Nowadays, people have little time and a lot of extra information around. To hammer a head is not a problem. But left alone with yourself, you will feel that an old guest is knocking on the door - the past.

In such situations, it can go down to depression. It’s like you killed someone, fled the scene of a crime and suddenly stumbled upon an empty skull gape from under the decaying flesh. Unpleasant sensations. The soul at such moments experiences real throwing and depression. A man assures himself of his own stupidity, depravity and worthlessness. In such situations it is very important to learn to forgive yourself. Then the terrible obsession that comes from time to time in your heart will dissipate, as if under the rays of the dawn sun, expelling the darkness from the dank and chilled streets of the night.

Defensive reaction

Our well-being directly depends on the level of self-esteem. A person cannot live peacefully with the realization that he is bad. Everyone wants to know that he is doing the right thing, deep down everyone wants one thing: harmony and happiness for themselves and those around them.

In our society it often happens that people's souls are covered with a crust of cynicism, which has always been a strange fashion. Outwardly, it seems that the individual has no principles, he does not feel sorry for anyone or anything. But the truth is that, as a rule, this equanimity is only a protective reaction, applied in order not to get an emotional wound from society. This phenomenon manifests itself even more when the reason is not so much in society as in its own deep feelings.

Unresolved issues

Not knowing how to forgive oneself, a person will be assured of their depravity, and at the same time of the sinfulness of the entire world around them. Of course, in practice it often happens that people act badly to achieve their own interests or, again, because of a lack of information. But this cannot be considered the norm. It can be recognized that this is happening, but at the same time there is a need to work to improve the situation.

This can be achieved by introspection and the ability to understand the world around. A person should not give up on everything, clog his head with unnecessary information and drag around consumer values, with the help of which, we are assured, any spiritual wound can be healed.

A fool is not one who makes mistakes, but one who does not learn from them

When people eat themselves from the inside, people around them often tell them something like: “You think too much. Distract yourself. ” Will not help. More precisely, only for a while. In order for relief and spiritual purity, comprehensive freedom to come finally, you need to carefully understand your motives, realize what exactly led to the undesirable result, and promise yourself to avoid such situations in the future.

After such an internal cleaning, you will begin to respect yourself much more and, finally, I'm sorry. There is nothing unusual and fatal in making mistakes. You should take such things as a chance to become wiser and increase your experience. The real stupidity is to run away from the problem and fall into the same trap again.