Various sayings. Bright sayings and aphorisms of the beloved satirist. Aphorisms and quotes from great and ordinary people about life

We attract everything that we think into our lives.

Once in the right place the right hour will come.

One must be able to forgive. After all, sometime you will need forgiveness.

The best road is the one that leads home.

Each "I", each "you", should strive for the infinite "we"

Caution! The doors of the past are closing! Next stop…. "Happy life"!

  In the girl you need to see your future wife, and if not ... Then you do not need to keep someone else's happiness near you ...

If one day you don’t want to hear anyone, call me - I promise to be silent.

Do not cry because it is over. Smile because it was.

Be yourself. Other roles are already taken.

People always destroy what they love the most.

No man deserves your tears, and he who deserves will never make you cry.

So little time is allotted by nature to our favorites, and most of it they are waiting for when we get home ...

I’m probably old-fashioned, because I appreciate in people their true soul, and not the thickness of the wallet and their cheap show-offs ...

When the sage was asked: “Is it worth it to pamper the children?”, He answered: “Be sure to indulge, it is not known what tests the life has prepared for them.”

And the Gods laughed all morning and evening ... Their phrase “A chance meeting” laughed ...

Maternity leave is a time when a trip to the store is perceived as “going out,” and a trip to the hairdresser is generally perceived as a “trip to another city” ...

In my heart there is a small city in which the most important people live for me.

It seems you know everything about yourself! So no, there are people who know more about you.

Act while you have time!

Everything will be the way you dream, just wait ... Remember that sugar is always at the bottom ...

I so dream to return that day when I first met you ... And pass by ...

The best decoration of life is a good mood ...

A man must remember that a woman is defenseless. She always needs a man’s shoulder, care and confidence in him. Even if she looks strong.

Happiness is when there is someone to wish good morning, good night ... and just know that they are waiting for you and you have somewhere to rush ...

Our friends are parts of our happiness.

The girl should tremble with the weight of a huge bouquet of flowers, and not from stress ...

some leave without leaving a trace.
  other traces of the surf erase
  and someone leaves a scar in the shower
  and someone takes the soul itself.

If after meeting a person you do not smile like an idiot, then this is not love.

There is no happiness without pain.
  There is no truth without lies.

The inexplicable thing is the soul. Nobody knows where it is, but everyone knows how it hurts.

The best couple is the one that starts with friendship ...

Love is when you give a person freedom of choice, and he chooses you ...

Do not be shy about your feelings and desires. There will be no other life for them.

Never go back to places where you felt bad. Never ask those who refused once. And do not let anyone close who once hurt you

Some people are like the sea or the ocean. I want to live next to them. Others are in muddy puddles. You think - as though to slip more accurately ...

A loving woman will forgive everything, but will not forget anything.

I love you not for who you are, but for who I am, when I'm with you ...

The best revenge on a man is to prove that you can do without him.

There are a lot of problems with you. And without you - one: your absence.

Appreciate people who under no circumstances will seek you a replacement.

Strong people are always a little rude, vulgar, like to ulcerate and smile a lot.

The heart must be protected. And not only mine ...

Learn to enjoy life, it will teach you to suffer yourself ...

Sometimes even smells can remind you of the past ...

From someone, people only get experience, and from someone a lifetime ...

You can’t regret anything in this life! It was - draw a conclusion and live on.

My Guardian Angel ... I’m tired again ... Give me your hand, please, and hug your wing ... Hold me tight so that I don’t fall ... And if I stumble, you lift me up ...

When you find yours, you don’t even want to look at someone else’s ...

And God created a woman ... The creature turned out to be harmful, but funny ...

Sometimes you need to go forward, leaving people in the past, even those for whom you once lived ...

The only one who cannot deceive or betray you is a cat. He just doesn't need to.

Never cry because of the person who hurt you. Just smile and say, “Thank you for the opportunity to be happier with others.”

The winner has many friends, and only the loser has real friends.

Men! Never tell a woman: "Who else needs you?" She will very soon prove the opposite to you. And believe me - this will be the last thing she will do for you.

A new life began unexpectedly. Not from Monday and not from the New Year. She just started.

We ourselves choose our thoughts that build our future life. 95

In order to learn to tell the truth to people, you need to learn to tell it to yourself. 128

The surest way to a person’s heart is to talk with him about what he values \u200b\u200babove all else. 120

When a trouble happens in life, you just need to explain to yourself its cause - and it will become easier on the soul. 71

The world is boring for boring people. 115

Learn from everyone, do not imitate anyone. 128

If our life paths diverge from someone, it means that this person completed his task in our life, and we - in him. New people come in their place to teach us something else. 162

The hardest thing is given to man that is not given to him. 58 - phrases and quotes about life

You only live once, and even this you can’t be sure of. Marcel Auchard 63

If you regret once that you didn’t say, then you regret a hundred times that you didn’t keep silent. 55

I want to live better, but have more fun ... Mikhail Mamchich 28

Difficulties begin where they try to simplify. -3

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No man can leave us, because initially we do not belong to anyone but ourselves. 74

The only way to change your life is to go where you are not waiting. 58

I may not know the meaning of life, but the search for meaning already gives the meaning of life. 45

Life has a price only because it ends, baby. Rick Riordan (American writer) 25

Life is more like a novel than our novels are about life. J. Sand 17

If you don’t have time, then you shouldn’t have time, so you need to spend time on something else. 55

You can’t forbid fun to live, but you can make it so that you don’t want to laugh. 24

Barren life devoid of illusions. Albert Camus, philosopher, writer 19

Life is hard, but, fortunately, is short (p.s. och. Famous phrase) 15

Nowadays, people are not being tortured with hot iron. There are noble metals. 31

It is very easy to check whether your mission on Earth is completed: if you are alive, it continues. 32

Wise quotes about life fill it with a certain meaning. When you read them, you feel the brain begin to move. 41

To understand is to feel. 86

It's that simple: you have to live until you die 16

Philosophy does not answer the question about the meaning of life, but only complicates it. 34

Everything that unexpectedly changes our lives is not an accident. 40

Death is not terrible, but sad and tragic. Fearing the dead, cemeteries, morgues is the height of idiocy. One must not be afraid of the dead, but pity them and their loved ones. Those whose life was interrupted before something important was accomplished, and those who remained forever to mourn the departed. Oleg Roy. Web of lies 43

We do not know what to do with our short life, but still we wish to live forever. (p.s. oh how true!) A. France 21

The only happiness in life is a constant striving forward. 61

In the tears that each of the women shed by the grace of men, any of them can be drowned. Oleg Roy, novel: The man in the window opposite 34 (1)

Man always strives to be an owner. People need to have houses registered in their name, cars with the right of owner, their own companies and spouses, chained in a passport. Oleg Roy. Web of lies 28

Now everyone has the Internet, but all is not happy ... 46

In everything! - It's about amazing Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya!

* When the "Sistine Madonna" was brought to Moscow, everyone went to look at her. Faina Georgievna heard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the picture did not impress him. Ranevskaya noticed:
  “This lady, for so many centuries, has impressed such people that now she herself has the right to choose whom she impresses and who not!”

* God made women beautiful so that they could be loved by men, and stupid so that they could love men.

*******
  * This ass is called "ass gamer."

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  * Which, in your opinion, women tend to be more faithful - brunettes or blondes?
  Without hesitation, she replied: “Gray!”

* Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

*******
  * The pressure of beauty can not hold back anything! (Looking at a gap in his skirt)

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  * Critics - Amazons in menopause.

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  * When the jumpers have sore legs, she jumps while sitting.

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  * With such an ass you have to stay at home!

About health:

* To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that."

*What I'm doing? I simulate health.

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  * I feel, but bad.

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  * Health is when you have a pain every day in another place.

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  * If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

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  * Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.

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  About old age:

Old age is when not bad dreams worry, but bad reality. I’m like an old palm tree at the station - nobody needs it, but I feel sorry for throwing it away.

*******
  Old age is simply disgusting. I believe that it is the ignorance of God when he allows him to live to old age.
  It is terrible when you are eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and you have to go, you did not have time, but only begin to live!

*******
  My God, as life slipped through, I never even heard the nightingales sing.

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  Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - that means life is coming to an end.

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  When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."

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  Aging is boring, but this is the only way to live long.

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  Old age is a time when candles on a birthday cake are more expensive than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes for tests.

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About work:

The money is eaten, but the shame remains. (About his work in the cinema)

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  To star in a bad film is like spitting in eternity.

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  When they don’t give me a role, I feel like a pianist who chopped off my hands.

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  I am a miscarriage of Stanislavsky.

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  I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..

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  I, by virtue of the talent granted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

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  I lived with many theaters, but I never enjoyed it.

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  I’m watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!

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  Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.

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  How erroneous is the opinion that there are no irreplaceable actors. We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play after this Ostrovsky! I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"

Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

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  He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

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  Wee in the tram - everything he did in art.

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  I do not recognize the word "play." You can play cards, horse racing, checkers. You need to live on stage.

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  The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, ”the capricious young actress demands. Everything will be real, ”Ranevskaya calms her. - That's it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.

About myself and life:

All my life I swam in the toilet with a butterfly style.

*******
  I am a social psychopath. Komsomol member with an oar. You can touch me in the subway. It’s me who’s standing there, half bending, in a bathing cap and copper shorts, in which all the October people are trying to get into. I work in the subway sculpture. So many paws polished me that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.

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The companion of fame is loneliness.

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  You must live so that you are remembered by the bastards.

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  I had the mind to live a foolish life.

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  Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me miserable. But are viewers really in love? What is the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the movie, too, Gangsters.

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  In Moscow, you can go out dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my chintz dresses cause general perplexity - they discuss this in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private houses. My monstrous "stinginess" upsets everyone - for no one believes in poverty.

*******
  Loneliness as a condition is not treatable.

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  Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.

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  Life passes and does not bow, like an angry neighbor.

On different topics:

Spelling mistakes in the letter - like a bug on a white blouse.

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  A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite.

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  I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I spoke of the friendship of peoples.

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  Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everyone or the family.

May it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.

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  I come across not faces, but a personal insult.

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  So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.

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  A real man is a man who remembers the woman’s birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman’s birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.

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  It was always incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

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  Do you understand my shallow idea?

A child from the first grade of the school must be taught the science of loneliness.

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  Tolstoy said that there is no death, but that there is love and the memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it were not ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.

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  You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we are in great trouble. (About Lenin)

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  This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was lowered there.

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  You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom. ”“ Do you brag, dear, or complain? ”

*******
  An employee of the Radio Committee N. was constantly experiencing drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she wept because of another quarrel, then he abandoned her, then she had an abortion from him. Ranevskaya called her "the victim of HeraSima."

*******
Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones? ”“ This is obvious, because there are very few blind men, but a dime a dozen.

*******
  How many times does a woman blush in her life? - Four times: on the first wedding night, when for the first time she cheats on her husband, when she takes money for the first time, when she gives money for the first time.
  What about a man?

- Two times: the first time - when the second cannot; the second - when the first cannot.

Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station. “It is a pity that we did not capture the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
  “Not good,” one of those accompanying remarks.

“Really imprudent,” Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that on the piano I left all the tickets.

Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. The Moscow City Council, where Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya worked (and with whom she had far from a cloudless relationship), shouted to the actress in the heat of the word: "Faina Georgievna, you have devoured my whole director’s plan with your game!" shit! ”retorted Ranevskaya.

Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females. “How did you determine this?” “Two sat on a beer bottle and three on a mirror,” Faina Georgievna explained.

*******
  Someone pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street, and even cursed me with dirty words. Faina Georgievna said to him: “For a number of reasons, I can’t answer you now with the words you use.” But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.

*******
  Actors discuss at a meeting of the troupe of a comrade who is accused of homosexuality: "This is molestation of youth, this is a crime"
  - My God, a miserable country where a person cannot dispose of his ass, Ranevskaya sighed.

Zhvanetsky is one of those authors who manage to give thoughts a laconic, sarcastic and absolutely complete form. And most importantly, in his sketches, everyone recognizes himself - although, perhaps, we would not really like this. Today we have chosen the most vivid sayings and aphorisms of our beloved satirist.

About life

It's hard to get into the story, but it's easy to get into it.

Good luck smiles to the bold ... And then he long laughs at them!

Alcohol in small doses is harmless in any quantity.

The highest degree of embarrassment is the two views met in the keyhole.

An optimist believes that we live in the best of worlds. The pessimist is afraid that it is so.

Everything is going well, just past.

You want everything at once, but you get nothing and gradually.

In the beginning was the Word .... However, judging by how things developed further, the Word was unprintable.

You don’t sleep all day, don’t eat all night - of course, you get tired ...

Wisdom does not always come with age. It happens that age comes alone.

Any car is enough until the end of life, if you drive dashing enough.

The most miserable animal is an octopus. He has legs from the ears, and hands from the ass, and the ass itself - with ears.

It is better to make love with love than to make love with difficulty.

Only on your birthday will you know how many unnecessary things there are in the world.

A clear conscience is a sign of poor memory.

Are you happy? At different times, this question was answered in different ways, but always in the negative.

There are no happy ends. If happy, then this is not the end.

Huge happiness - to see a real bloody heroic life and not participate in it.

Happiness is to see the toilet and have time to run to it.

You can’t forbid to live beautifully. But you can interfere.

If you argue with an idiot, then he probably does the same.

I said: "Either I will live well, or my works will become immortal." And life again turned towards the works.

Good always triumphs over evil, so whoever won is good. \\

About Russia

Russia is a country of talents.

There are a lot of talents, there is no one to work. When does it feel like the whole world is lying?

When you are announced on a plane that the time difference between Moscow and New York is only 8 hours.

The history of Russia is the struggle of ignorance and injustice.

Our freedom resembles a traffic light, in which three lights burn at once.

We can not have anything. We may not have everything. With us, whatever you want, it may not be.

In a country where everyone is sneaking along the fence, it is not so easy to ask for directions.

Today the words: “There is one good show on television ...” remind me of the denunciation.

A normal person in our country responds to the environment with only one thing - he drinks. Therefore, the non-drinker is still a bastard.

Nobody can lead us astray; we don’t care where to go.

About a human

Have you seen a man who never lies? It is hard to see, everyone avoids it.

The hardest thing is given to man that is not given to him.

A decent person can easily be recognized by how clumsy he makes meanness.

Each major personality has something in small print.

The difference between clever and wise: clever with great difficulty gets out of a situation in which the wise does not fall.

Thinking is so hard, so most people judge.

People are divided into those whom you can rely on and those you need to rely on.

If someone has appeared who is ready to turn mountains, others will follow him, ready to turn his neck.

Each person is the smith of his own happiness and the anvil of someone else's.

Born to crawl - crawl everywhere.

In some, both hemispheres are protected by a skull, in others - by pants.

Some look brave because they are afraid to run away.

It’s hard to be the last bitch - forever someone sits down behind!

About serious

Life is short. And you need to be able to. You must be able to leave a bad movie. Throwing a bad book. Get away from a bad person. A lot of them.

Nothing hurts a person like fragments of their own happiness.

What is a writer's life? Not a single thought out loud. What is writer's death? The publication.

Well, at least five minutes a day, think badly about yourself. When they think badly of you - this is one thing ... But about yourself five minutes a day ... It's like thirty minutes of running.

Never exaggerate the stupidity of enemies and the loyalty of friends.

Real loneliness - when you talk to yourself all night - and they don’t understand you.

Guys, if we’re up to shit, we’ll join hands!

It is very difficult to be a genius among the boogers.

Old age is simply disgusting. I believe that this is ignorance of God, when he allows you to live to old age.

How erroneous is the opinion that there are no irreplaceable actors.

It’s scary when you are eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and you have to go, you did not have time, but only begin to live!

We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play after this Ostrovsky!

I had the mind to live a foolish life.

A child from the first grade of the school must be taught the science of loneliness.

Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - that means life is coming to an end.

Critics - Amazons in menopause.

Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.

Today's theater is a point of sale. The play office ... This is not a theater, but a summer cottage. So sickening to end your life in the toilet.

In order to gain recognition, one must even die.

My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!

When they don’t give me a role in the theater, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.

There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; and there are people in whom only ... worms live.

Everything hurts at night, and most of all conscience.

I played very bad today. I was upset before the performance and could not play: they told me that they washed the stage for me. They thought to please, but I'm upset, because the scene should be clean at every performance.

A Jew eats chicken when he is sick or when the chicken is sick.

It sometimes seems to me that I still live only because I really want to live. For 53 years, a habit has developed to live in the world. My heart works sluggishly and all the time makes attempts to stop serving me, but I order him: "Fight, cursed, and dare not stop."

What to do when it is necessary to act, it is necessary to exert inhuman efforts without desire, but on the contrary, playing with insurmountable disgust - almost everything that I have been working on all my life?

The companion of fame is loneliness.

It was always incomprehensible to me: people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

I hate cynicism for its accessibility.

In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity, but they deprived me of it.

What a sad city. Unbearably beautiful and so sad with a severely pathogenic climate. (Leningrad, 1960)

I’m trying to recall whether I met people in the cinema in 26 years?

I looked at the photo for a long time - the dog’s eyes are amazingly human. I love them, they are smart and kind, but people make them evil.

Life is in full swing on the head!

Now, in old age, I realized that there was no need to “play”.

If I kept a diary, I would write down one phrase every day: "What a mortal longing," and that’s all.

The funeral is a performance for curious inhabitants.

Epicurus said - well lived one who hid well.

I just wouldn’t be disturbed, and I don’t wait for help.

Most of all in my life I loved falling in love.

Zavadsky is given rewards not according to ability, but according to need. He does not have only the title Mother Heroine. (about the director of the Mossovet Theater, 1973)

Zavadsky dreams that he is already buried in Red Square. (late 70s)

Remember for life - you have to be so proud to be higher than pride.

I go to the theater as if in a garbage chute: - falsehood, cruelty, hypocrisy, not a single honest word, not a single honest eye! Careerism, meanness, greedy old women!

A person’s passport is his misfortune, because a person should always be eighteen years old, and the passport only reminds you that you cannot live like an eighteen-year-old man!

When I have a nightmare, it means I’m filming a movie in a dream.

Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.

Health is when you have a pain every day in another place.

A real man is a man who remembers the woman’s birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman’s birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.

You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we are in great trouble.

I lived with many theaters, but I never enjoyed it.

When the hopper has sore legs, she jumps while sitting.

I do not recognize the word "play." You can play cards, horse racing, checkers. You need to live on stage.

I’m watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.

Lyubov Petrovna Orlova’s wardrobe is so full of clothes that the mole living in it cannot learn how to fly!

To play Raskolnikov, you need to kill in yourself the ordinary, earthly, you need to become above yourself - you need to look for God in yourself.

For me, every performance of mine is another rehearsal. Maybe that’s why I don’t know how to play the same way. Sometimes I rehearse worse, sometimes better, but never good.

The great Stanislavsky beguiled everything in theatrical art. Himself did not play according to the system, but what the heart will tell.

Nothing makes it possible to understand and feel your loneliness, as when there is no one to tell a dream.

The theater is rolling into the abyss on commercial rails.

Talent is self-doubt and excruciating dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s own shortcomings, which I have never seen in mediocrity.

Now the actors do not know how to be silent, and by the way, to speak!

I owe it to friends who honor me with their visit, and I am deeply grateful to friends who rob me of this honor.

My wealth, obviously, is that I do not need it.

Disgusting passport details. I looked at my passport, saw what year I was born, and only gasped.

After the play in which I play, I cannot sleep at night with excitement. But if I do not play for a long time, then I completely stop sleeping.

Birds swear like actresses because of roles. I saw how the sparrow clearly spoke taunts to another tiny and feeble one, and as a result poked it with its beak in the head. Everything is like people

Many receive rewards not according to ability, but according to need. When the jumpers have sore legs - she jumps sitting.

No disease is more painful than longing.

The worst thing is when a person already belongs not to himself, but to his disintegration.

If I often looked into the eyes of Gioconda, I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, and I know nothing about her.

Well, I come across faces, not faces, but a personal insult!

The Russian person does not want to do anything on an empty stomach and does not want to think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.

Either I'm getting old and dumber, or today's youth is not like anything! Before, I simply did not know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.

Optimism is a lack of information.

Today's youth is terrible. But even worse is that we do not belong to her.

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everyone or the family.