Signs of high self-esteem in the girl. Wrong woman self-esteem. Signs. Illuminated self-esteem causes

Every woman wants to be beloved, valuable and happy. But for some reason, one reaches it, while the other all the time are in problems, they are related to them without respect and they are increasingly falling into depression, and sometimes in various dependencies. How to be if you do not get what you want with all your heart? Change your attitude towards yourself, take yourself and realize that you are worthy of all the best. So let's understand how a woman with low self-esteem behaves.

It happens that in different spheres we feel not equally. For example, a woman needs to be easily confident in itself as in a specialist, and then the professional part of her self-esteem will be high. But this does not mean that she will be confident as a woman.

Women's self-esteem is an inner feeling of its value and attractiveness for the opposite sex. A woman with adequate self-esteem is not afraid of male attention, feels worthy of love and respect. Another attitude towards herself as a woman is strongly influenced by the installations relating to love, relations, female and male. For example, many have a conviction that "love - means suffering and sacrificing." Is it possible with such an installation to treat yourself with respect?

If we do not believe that you are worthy of male attention that a woman is not "not very", then we will behave accordingly.

1. A woman with low self-esteem can not and can not take help, gifts and just male attention. Somewhere inside itself she does not believe that it is worthy to be beloved just like that. Therefore, it is lost or looking for a trick when they say compliments or try to meet.

2. Low self-esteem all the time is found to the woman that she is "not very", What you need to agree on the relationship that she is offered. Who knows, suddenly she will not be able to attract anyone? In the meantime she thinks, this is exactly what will receive: few people attract an insecure woman. As a result, she does not consider himself in the right to choose a man and often turns out to be in relationships from whom it is better to stay away from whom.

3. Another low self-esteem - inability to speak out directly and aloud about their desires. And this applies not only to help or gifts. Even if a man honestly tries to make her good, asks what she wants, then such a woman tells riddles or leaves the answer. Each time a partner has to pull out her desire from her from her, and sooner or later such games are tired of any adequate man. But this state of things is completely satisfied with the one who is not interested in her desires.

A woman with a low self-esteem is afraid of "sagge" a man, it seems to her that she will love it, only if she will adapt to other wishes if she is comfortable and will not want to want something for himself. Unconsciously, she believes that love must be earned, and if it is, it will refuse it. In relations, these installations force women to go to any concessions, if only a man was near, if only we were not thrown. And this is the best way to be where we are not appreciated and do not respect.

4. From here it follows and another sign of low female self-esteem: she does not respect those who are near.

The surrounding reflects our self-esteem. As you appreciate yourself - it will react others to you. Remember your feelings from different people: there are those who need to be nailed - well, the language does not turn. And there are those whom and pulls to kick. What does it depend on? From self-esteem. If there is an inner dignity in man, if he loves himself and respects, he will not allow himself to rude. It will not support communication with those who relate disrespectful, will not suffer this.

5. Our self-esteem is reflected on as we treat other women. A woman with low self-esteem compares himself with others and often sees around solid competitors. If in the depths of the soul you know that such a set of qualities, like yours, no one else, then you will not compete. You have our advantages, another lady has their own. And each will be attractive for those who appreciate its features. If you, for example, high, then you will be attracted those men who love high. That's all.

But if a woman sees a rival in every other lady, it says that in the depths of the soul she feels not unique and not valuable. She compares himself all the time. And it does not matter, it loses in comparison or wins. Indeed, in this case, its attitude towards itself constantly depends on those who ended up.

What prevents how to increase self-esteem?

The fear of being bad, the fear seem egoist, the fear of being abandoned. We feel that if we love and respect yourself, then someone may not like it, what we are talking about. I will not lie and say that everything will be fine. Yes, indeed, there will be people who will not suit. After all, what does "egoist" mean? This is a person who is uncomfortable to others. The one who thinks his head, who is impossible to manage. And some people such a state of affairs will seem very disadvantageous. Do you need such people next to you?

Many of us have a fear that if we begin to demand a respectful relationship, if we begin to love and defend themselves, then become bad. As one wonderful psychotherapist said: "Protecting your borders, you do not become a bad person. You become an adult. "

If we do not believe that you are worthy of male attention that a woman is not "not very", then we will behave accordingly. Factrum Publishes an article from an online magazine "School of Life", in which five signs of a woman with low self-esteem are listed:

4. From here it follows and another sign of low female self-esteem: she does not respect those who are near. The surrounding reflects our self-esteem. As you appreciate yourself - it will react others to you. Remember your feelings from different people: there are those who need to be nailed - well, the language does not turn. And there are those whom and pulls to kick. What does it depend on? From self-esteem. If there is an inner dignity in man, if he loves himself and respects, he will not allow himself to rude. It will not support communication with those who relate disrespectful, will not suffer this.

What prevents how to increase self-esteem? The fear of being bad, the fear seem egoist, the fear of being abandoned. We feel that if we love and respect yourself, then someone may not like it, what we are talking about. I will not lie and say that everything will be fine. Yes, indeed, there will be people who will not suit. After all, what does "egoist" mean? This is a person who is uncomfortable to others. The one who thinks his head, who is impossible to manage. And some people such a state of affairs will seem very disadvantageous. Do you need such people next to you?

Women with underestimated self-esteem suffer from uncertainty, fear critics and do not know how to take compliments. The usual role of the victim does not allow to perceive life in all colors and boldly look into the future. We learn not to succumb to manipulation.

As you know, self-esteem is how a person appreciates himself, his personal qualities and opportunities compared to other people, which place he takes itself in society. Self-assessment is not inherited - it is formed in preschool age under the influence of the closest to the child of people - parents. It is from them first of all depends on whether the baby will have adequate self-esteem, overestimated or understated. And how will his further life be as far as it is successful if he will be able to set goals and achieve them or will constantly doubt his strength and accepts the loser stigma - it all depends on the level of his self-esteem.

It is not easy to live next to people who have an overestimated self-esteem, because they are convinced that they are always right, they do not see their own flaws and do not recognize their mistakes. They believe that it is entitled to manage others, seek to be the center of attention and show aggression if someone does not agree with them. "You are the best," they told them in childhood. "You are the Queen!", - repeated dad familiar girl. He believed that, feeling the queen, she would make it believe everyone who surrounds her. But those around for some reason did not want to play the role of her subjects, and those who wanted to be friends with her was becoming less and less.

It is not easy for those whose. According to some understandable considerations, parents humiliate the child, showing their power over him, break it, making obedient, and eventually turn into an infantile inappropriate being, about which the legs wipe all to be lazy.

"The horror that you have done, nothing can be entrusted to you!", "You all spoil - it's better to leave," look at Any, she is a girl like a girl, and you are a slit and sludge, "now you will get me, such a thing. ! " - Criticism, threats, comparing with other children, unwillingness to reckon with the opinion of the child and see the personality in it, talking to him in an ordinary tone reduce his self-esteem and self-esteem. His own life attitudes are not yet formed, and he considers parental beliefs to be an immutable truth. Psychologists call it a direct suggestion, and children at an early age are very suggested.

If mom and dad call the child with a fool and insignificance, then it is so that he will take himself. As they say in the proverb: "Tell a person a hundred times that he is a pig, but he shrinks for a hundred first." In the same way, others will be perceived.

Another test for the child's self-esteem is adolescent age. At this time, he is very angry and painfully perceives criticism. If he can repeat that out of him, nothing is possible and he is one road - in prison or on the panel, then you should not be surprised that it will happen.

Ultimately, people with underestimated self-esteem justify all those nicknames and epithets that they were awarded in childhood. They really become losers, husks, outsiders. They lose, sometimes even having entered into the game, because they are indecisive and do not believe in themselves. "I am not worthy" - they explain their loss.

Women with low self-esteem - what men choose them?

Women with low self-esteem, as well as men with the same character, do not achieve significant success, because "know their place." However, psychologists noticed that they, in addition, attract men of a particular type - power, authoritarian and selfish. It is profitable for them to have such a woman under sideways, because it is not demanding and simply manage. It is easy to convince that her main task is to create comfortable conditions to her husband, to raise children and she is not entitled to demand more than he can give her.

A woman with a low self-esteem is comfortable and the fact that she does not need to be jealous - she is grateful to her husband for married her, and no one else looks at anyone. And even even looks, it believes that she herself does not deserve the attention of men. The husband can relax, because if he is married to a woman with an adequate or high self-esteem, he would have to strain to fit. And so much says goodbye to him - both pettyness, and rudeness, and a slope, because the woman believes that he is not worthy of the best.

A woman with low self-esteem consumer is not only a husband, but also others. Knowing that she could not refuse, they sometimes sit on her head, hanging their problems on her and shifting their duties for her. Moreover, women with understated self-esteem are often perfection, seeking to do everything in the best possible way.

Especially easy by them, inspiring them a sense of guilt. In an effort to rod this in reality, the not existing guilt, they are still trying to please to deserve praise.

What are they - Women with understated self-esteem?

Many women do not realize that all their depression and failures are associated with low self-esteem. They think: so life has developed, the unfavorable circumstances were to blame, which were prevented from becoming happy, successful and beloved. "You can't leave destiny!", "They are arguing instead of working on personal installations, with the help of which you can change the attitude towards yourself - to love yourself. Are we not worthy of this love? "I am alone," says psychologist Ekaterina Mikhailova, who wrote a book under the same name. If we want us to understand, appreciated and loved others, we must learn to understand, appreciate and love ourselves.

Do we remind someone these women? They are:

1. Understanding

But not because they feel satisfaction from the fulfillment of other people's requests. On the contrary, they scold themselves for the fact that they could not refuse, they are angry and annoyed. But not to say "No": Suddenly, the people who come offended or badly think about them, and someone else's opinion is very important for them, and it must certainly be positive;

2. painfully tolerate criticism

Women with adequate self-esteem also adequately perceive and criticism: they accept it or not, not falling into hysterics. If we say that it is not right, a woman with an understated self-esteem, for her it will be almost a tragedy. The insult will follow, tears and indignation, because she perceives criticism as an insult and humiliation, hints on her inferiority. After all, as you know, people with low self-esteem want everyone to like and be good for everyone;

3. Overly critical to its appearance

They do not tolerate critics from others, but they themselves are never satisfied with themselves and their appearance, so they strive not to stand out, be in the shade. They do not like their own figure, nor face, nor body nor hair - nothing. At the same time, they are often engaged in public senses, obviously, subconsciously expecting that those surrounding will begin to dissuade them, assure in the opposite and make compliments;

4. Do not make together compliments

They love them, but do not know how. It is possible that in response to the praise that it looks great today, a woman with a low self-esteem will hang and say something like: "Yes, I washed my head today" or "Oh, it's an old dress, so it's not clear what I see what I became a cow ";

5. Feel the victim

Their wounding psyche is painfully reacting to every oblique look and curve word. They exaggerate their importance in the lives of other people, it seems to them that others only think about how to offend them. They often regret themselves, repeating with failures: "Well, not with my happiness";

6. Refuse their own desires

They have their dreams and desires, but they are driven somewhere so deeply, which is no longer reminded of themselves. And all because women with low self-esteem live in other people's desires. Waited for a day off to walk with her husband in the park? But he said: "We go to the cottage to clean the garden, shelf the garden." Tired and want to stay? "What a rest! Look, my old mom works, and you will spawn?! " "Tomorrow my friends will come to visit. Do not want? Can not be. Running into the kitchen, to the stove! "

They do not know how to disappoint, because it means to disappoint others, not to justify their hopes, which women with low self-esteem can not be allowed;

7. Are not able to make a choice and take responsibility

They too often utter words: "I can't", "I will not succeed," "I am not entitled to decide." It is not surprising that to make a decision for them - incredible gravity, because it is possible to make a mistake and deserve disapproval, to get a negative assessment. Therefore, they fluctuate for a long time and, if possible, shift this task on others: "What do you advise? I will do how you say ";

8. Unhappy with their surroundings

They often complain to colleagues and girlfriends that her husband suppresses them, mother-in-law quivering, relatives do not appreciate. At home they are crying that the head is not considered from their point of view, and employees are offended. Psychologists say that the subconscious women with a low self-esteem themselves attract people to themselves who do not put them in anything, and thus additionally approve in the opinion that they are worthless losers.

We increase your self-esteem

Women who are tired of being a puppet and the object of manipulations that want to live their lives and do not depend on someone else's opinion, can correct their character. It is easy - you just need to want to change.

1. Minimize or stop communicating with people, next to which self-esteem is reduced

We doubt, incessantly appealing to the council, we show insecurity, show how someone's remark is wound off, all the time we justify and easily take blame for yourself - and in the end we become so myself a boy for whipping, an eternal scapegoat, which no one takes seriously And with which it is not accepted. People are easily calculated to whom can be condescending, down, and begin to manipulate them.

To a greater extent, in the current situation, we are to blame for themselves: they say that we are treated as we allow us to contact them.

But if we are no longer satisfied with this state of things, we must "show your teeth" - of course, not with the help of hysterics. Control their reactions, not giving the reason to consider us in bulk mumps.

Change the attitude towards yourself those who have already got used to our "toothlessness" is more difficult than starting to build relationships from scratch, but maybe. However, if the surrounding persistently continue to assert themselves at our expense, then we have such communication. We will spend time with those with whom we become better and gain confidence in our abilities.

2. Love yourself

About the fact that you need to love yourself, now they say a lot and write. To love yourself - does not mean to do not care on the rest and wear with you, beloved, as with a written Tuba. This means understanding yourself, learn to live in harmony with you and with the world, respect yourself and not engage in self-defense and self-name.

Louise Hay, a well-known American psychologist and the author of several books on psychological self-help, suggests from the morning to approach the mirror and, looking at his reflection, say: "I love you. What can I do today for you to be joyful and happy? ". First, this phrase will interfere with some inner protest, but soon it will sound naturally and freely.

According to the same Louise Hay, "I'm not trying to correct the problem. I correct my thoughts. And then the problem corrects itself. "

3. We ask yourself positive installations

We do it with the help of and visualizations. The above-mentioned phrase Louise Hay about love for himself is one of the possible affirmations. Some complain that they do not work affirmations. "I repeat ten times a day, I repeat the same thing, and nothing changes," they say.

Louise Haye compares affirmations with a grain or seed - it is small enough, it must be watered, you need to care for it. Posted, for example, tomato, we do not expect that tomorrow we get fruit? The same can be said about affirmations and visualizations - they stimulate us and do not allow to forget about the goal, but that they earn, we must take real steps.

4. Meditate

For example: we relax, close your eyes and mentally transferred to some kind of wonderful place where we were once and where we were fine. Very clearly feel it - sounds, smells. Then imagine the wizard-wanderer who tells us: "My dear, you are beautiful and unique. You have the right to your opinion, you can not know something or mistaken. You can judge yourself, which is good and that bad, and take responsibility when you wish. You have the right to decide what and when to do you. You have the right to be like you are! You came to this world, for this planet for yourself myself! ".

The wizard smiles us and says goodbye to us, and we do inhale, open your eyes and return to reality.

5. Do not save on yourself

Remarik wrote that "a woman who saves on himself causes a man's only desire to save on it."

Nothing raises the self-esteem of a woman, as confidence that she is good and welcome. (Obviously, so some men are satisfied with the unassicious and undemanding wife, next to which you can not strain yourself, without fear that she will leave or take it away.)

Gym, swimming pool, beauty salon, SPA-salon, etc. - This is not only external beauty, but also health, and first of all soulful.

Hello, dear friends!

Have you been faced with people suffering from narcissism syndrome? Or maybe you noticed similar manifestations? Then today's article will be very useful for those personalities that they are trying to overcome the opposite effect of the complex of inferiority.

Heavy self-esteem is a categorical overestimation of its own advantages and potential. A person who has such a spicy self-sustaining has a distorted and too overestimated representation of himself, which is expressed in behavior.

Are there any advantages in such a behavioral rate of self-expression? Yes, high self-esteem can act as an engine that stimulates the inexhaustible, education of self-esteem and strength.

But in fact, people of this category are experiencing strong dissatisfaction with both personal and professional qualities. As a rule, they hardly build up relationships with opponents due to the fact that they cannot adequately perceive and pay attention to other individuals.

The reasons

Why is this happening? The reason lies in the fact that the person, pronounced its advantages, often sinlessly sinning abuse.

They want to seem better than it is in fact and this leads to the fact that the lowest and arrogant side of their soul, gets out out in a distorted form.

People with overwhelmed self-esteem adore to praise themselves a loved one, attributing themselves uncomplicated merit, which are unfortunately no confirmation. The presentation of its supernormalities can sometimes reach the aggressive behavior manner or even intrusive.

In addition, a person literally and deliberately can afford to speak out about the skills of other people in a negative key, focusing on the fact that only he is entitled to talk about merit.

A similar demonstration of achievements is caused by the desire to assert themselves for someone else's account. The individual is manicly configured to prove to the whole world that the truth is on his side and that he is the most from ever born. And at the same time, he extremely clearly makes it clear that the rest of the people and in the notch he is not suitable! In short - the choppers!

How is the desire to prove superiority born?

Before thinking about how consequences may be, science psychology recommends understanding the cause of the syndrome " I am the best!».

The "Star" complex or the Lord of Russia is most often formed in early childhood and most likely in a child who grows the only chance in the family. He is inherent in the feeling of himself as the king of the atmosphere. Since it is permanent possesses limitless attention to competing between his brother or sister.

This is because all the interests of the family are focused on a loved one. Adults with joy and immense mate perceive any actions of the kid, laying the thought of unhealthy features in the head. Growing, such a person still seeks to find beliefs that the whole world revolves around him.

In truth, excessive self-confidence is all the same, but on the other hand and in the profile. Not a small reason lies in too low self-esteem. And self-confidence in this case plays the role of a protective barrier and bunker.

But there are other mechanisms that they can provoke an attack. So:

children's fears, complexes or (desire to prove close and others that it is not an empty place);
working conditions: the only man in the team or an employee who has succeeded in the effectiveness of his work (one-time, as an outbreak);
publicity, especially sudden;
the inclination to fall under the influence (there is talking about participation in motion for improving self-esteem, development, etc.)

How to recognize symptoms?

To identify the owner of the overestimated ego simple enough. All because the manifestation of the "illness" is always typical and monotonous. People with overwhelmed self-esteem are too similar to each other in their favorite narcissism.

If you are many times in the process of dialogue, hear phrases by type: " i am the most successful», « only I can know it», « i am smarter than everyone else"And so on, then be sure that you are" Narcissy ordinary ".

But to try to solve the task of deliverance, it is necessary to understand the signs of a cunning disease for further correction of behavior and worldview. So, you can watch:

How to overcome self-confidence and return it to normal?

1. Analysis of the situation

Conduct systematic analysis of failures and strive to determine the "guilty" in the incident. Every time the desire to stick the blame on someone else will begin to outweigh, try to evaluate your own contribution to what happened.

2. Communications and Communities

In relations with people, it is worth sticking to the Golden Middle. This means that you should not attribute myself a level of insignificance, but also to demonstrate the jumps above the head of the rest - it is also not necessary. Refuse to criticize colleagues, acquaintances and not familiar to you. Reduce personal importance and try to hear the interlocutor.

Ask more questions, interest their lives, successes and present your own as needed and relevance. Learn to make compliments, and recognize failures. After all, we are all people, not automata.

3. Work on yourself

In order to assesses the most objectively to regard their own and skills, I recommend you write down your advantages and zones for study on a sheet of paper.

After analyzing their own pros and cons, carefully and with the help of critical thinking, learn each item. It may happen that their significance will be exaggerated.

4. Meeting with a reflection of yourself

Karl Jung argued that the most important meeting in our life is a meeting with himself. As long as you frankly and honestly do not look at yourself - the situation will not change. As a result, you will live the days in the invented and illusory world, offending people.

Such a meeting of a person with high self-esteem is most fear. After all, for the accuracy of the conceived, the reserve of courage and determination is needed. Perhaps the time to open your eyes to the inner world, and not on an external tinsel and opinions?

Be sure to subscribe to blog updates and advise it familiar to read. In the comments, advise other ways to get rid of!

Before meeting on the blog, while so far!

What is better understated or overestimated self-esteem? Many wonderful ladies will answer that it is better to have an overwhelmed than understated. Therefore, when they try to raise their self-esteem, adequate estimation of itself is often lost.

Some may argue, because ladies with a high opinion, better solve problems, get acquainted and relationship, and, of course, know better than their price. Unfortunately, all these advantages have women with an adequate understanding of themselves, the rest of the same representatives of excellent sex develop negative traits of character.

For example, people with high self-esteem can be observed - egoism, arrogance, narcissism, arrogance. A low self-esteem can be seen - cowardice, envy, syradiability, jealousy.

How can you determine overestimated self-esteem and weak gender? How to understand that the girl or woman overestimates itself and its significance?

There are many signs for which you can define it. Here is some of them:

She always wants to be the first in everything.

Requests often sound like orders, and the word "please" is rarely used.

She constantly talks about himself, interrupts and teaches others how to live correctly.

Errors are unacceptable at all, everything should be perfect, and since she wants.

Criticism is perceived hard and as a personal insult.

"I" sounds in speech very often.

All points of view, except for their own, incorrect.

The pronounced, but sometimes there may be hidden, egoism.

Issues accompany irritability and depression.

She always expresses his opinion and everywhere, despite the fact that sometimes it is not appropriate.

There is a permanent competition with others about and without reason.

The words "sorry" and "sorry" are used very rarely.

In all troubles, others or circumstances are to blame.

The last word is always behind it.

Men rarely attract egoistic women, so the overestimated opinion about themselves does not contribute to the creation of family life, as well as does not always contribute to the career. The same can be said about low self-esteem.

Although there is a big difference between overpriced and understated self-esteem. With a low girl and women more often want to change their attitude than high. Since selfish people never want to change, considering themselves perfect.

It is unlikely that women with overwhelmed self-esteem are calm and happy, because the fear of losing or make a mistake makes it live in tension and follow every step. Having found signs of high self-esteem, it is worthwhile and strive for adequate evaluation of yourself and the surrounding world.

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