How to forgive the treason of a man's advice psychologist. Is it possible to forgive treason of your loved one and how to live after it? Tips for a psychologist. To progress her husband

Each of the unpleasant events of the matrimonial life at the time of his stay seems global. However, none of them can compare with infidelity. Especially painfully such a nuisance is perceived by the female half of humanity. Some gentle geams claim that the Ajulter is equivalent to the death of a loved one. And even worse. After all, death is experiencing, and with the time of emotions become dull. But how to forget the treason of her husband, when he reminds about her, just being near every day?

If, after the adherence of a loved one, a beautiful person dared to save a married life, she needs to be preparing himself to what it is not easy. She is expected by several painful stages, which in addition to the sense of loss of trust will be accompanied by a feeling of betrayal, humiliation and sometimes unbearable pain.

The reaction to what happened depends on how developed the human ego. If the spouse is jealous, then it will have a painful struggle with him, because to control each pitch of the beloved - an inefficient way to preserve the marriage. Ultimately, it will lead to one connection on the side. If she suffers unnecessary pride - again the struggle is inevitable. It is necessary to fight with its own wals, reproaches and the desire to humiliate betrayed. In such discomfort, the beloved will also not stay long.

The sad outcome is waiting for the family in which the female hawk will take on the role of eternal sacrifice.

Consciously or unconsciously, with reproaches or without them, it will create such conditions in which a man will feel guilty to all family issues (future, real and past).

Types of behavior described above are the most typical and characteristic of the greater half of humanity. It is logical that a bewilderment arises here about how to live with her husband after his betrayal? Is it really at all? Answer: Yes. Cases when an adulter of the head of the family served as a reason for the recreation of a destroyed marriage, exist.

In contrast to the uncompromising solutions of the strong floor (if they were betrayed), weak gender is more compliant. And this is understandable because the woman thinks primarily about children and family values. She also understands that nature has endowed a strong floor of the polygamy, therefore makes a little discount. But despite the efforts to understand and accept, she often dwells in complete ignorance: what to do to let go of the insult, how to survive the treason of her husband and save the family? It is these questions that we will now go.

Indeed, is it worth it? If the beloved changed not once and guarantees to the fact that the error will not happen, no, is it necessary to "drag relationships for the ears"? When a person betrays, then he swears in loyalty, but then he betrays again, the suffering half it is better to understand immediately - the carousel is infinite. Do not let yourself download yourself all your life.

The chance for forgiveness can be given when he:

He was seduced by his mistress and did not resist the temptation.
I decided to try a new one, not thinking about the consequences.
Quarreled with you and decided to take revenge in this way.
I went to the left, being drunk.

The reasons for one-time love can be different, because there are different situations. The main word that should stop you from the instant break and help decide whether it is worth preserving the family if the husband lit up - once. The betrayal that has a period of several years, forgive many times heavier. And even if the spouse is very repent, think about it?

The restoration of a strong bond will not take place in the following case: Recognizing in the error, the beloved will not be as much as honesty as a malnuary. So, a man is not ready to live with remorse of conscience, he simply is afraid of them. Shamelessly covering honesty, he gladly admits his half in infidelity. Thus makes his soul and safely shifts the load on the shoulders of the one who betrayed.

Even more his master is the fact that it gets rid of responsibility for the further decision: to be together or not to be. So a partner as if he says: "Decide herself what to do with me, I wash my hands." Although the situation is presented in a completely different way: you see what I am good, I am ready to accept any of your decision. If the beloved is really afraid of responsibility and you see that in the future he is not ready to act as promises, then he is not a place next to you.

There is another type of behavior: a man thoroughly hides his love adventures, as if protecting his soul mate from unnecessary stress. It can guess, but pretends that nothing happens. Sad, but such a way of married life is completely around. Why? Because everything is easier and easier. You do not need to think about how to forgive betrayal husband, because this thought threatens a way out of the comfort zone. And how do you not want to go out of it, it is better to live familiar life. This example can be found in pairs who lived together 10 or more years, with children, with property and good income, which mined the male family of the family.

If you do not belong to such, take greetings. After all, turn the eyes on the adventure of the beloved - not to respect yourself. In addition, from carefully hidden experiences, excellent half "will acquire" a mass of female health problems, wrinkles and insomnia.

It is even possible to decide on the preservation of the couple even in this case, but not only silently, without pretending to do not know, but by talking and searching for compromises.

One way or another, but only the deceived side should make a decision - is it ready to share the future with those who betrayed.

At first glance, the advantage, but in fact, the greatest injustice - the victim of the circumstances, which is already experiencing stress, should be in itself the strength and come up with how to keep marriage after the treason of her husband.

The beginning of the way

Forgive such an act is very difficult. The appearance of a sense of relief does not depend on the person. A woman may have a strong desire to let go offense, but the desire will not affect the sorry process itself. After all, the mind and feelings cannot be rebuilt by clicking. Therefore, about how to survive the treason of her husband, the Council one is time. The only thing for the power of man is to bring the desired moment.

The first actions should be the following:

Make exhale. Here it is meant to take a timeout and be alone with me. Exhaust is necessary for cooling emotions, because passing the first stages - shock, anger, offense and desire to divorce - a woman can make something nonsense, which will be very sore. Negative emotions are bad advisers.

The Council of the psychologist: You can give will to emotions at the time of stress, but it is not recommended to take a momentum decision.

Do not try to make a verdict until you are ready. In solitude, think what your shared life was, whether she sat down with you, write down all the pros and cons. But do not dwell on the thoughts on how to forget everything. The latter will raise you on the same emotional level you are trying to avoid.
Talk. Readiness for a conversation should come gradually. In the process, you need to make sure that the beloved iron is configured to spend the rest of life in loyalty and harmony. The conversation should excite not only you, but, first of all, who betrayed. Make up a table in which we register all "for" and "against" possible parting and future life together, find out if you have common goals (except for children), ask, in the end, is it ready to withstand your inaccessible reproach in Future quarrels. If you briefly, find out all the exciting details that will lead to the correct and joint solution.
Contact the disinterested "judge". In such a case, a competent side view and advice of the psychologist will help. If you do not like to turn out inside out, family troubles in front of a stranger, ask a friend or someone from loved ones (able to store secrets), listen to both sides. An independent look will reveal to you the things that you yourself did not notice. For example, that Adumerter of the chapter of the family was committed in part and in your fault.
Lay the root of the problem. Perhaps the most important step towards forgiveness. If you find a true reason that pushed your loved on Ajulter, consider you won. After all, the next step will be the search for actions aimed at eradicating this cause. The main thing is not to hide and do not deny if part of the guilt for infidelity lies with you. Perhaps the partner searched on the side what he did not receive in family life. Calculate such a recognition of a partner as a big plus. After all, you could and do not learn about the true reason and then the probability of the repetition would be higher.
Think about the feelings of the spouse. Think, worst now you now? Not. He also tries to cope with emotions: a sense of guilt, shame, discomfort. Talking, show respect - do not insult, do not humiliate, do not be ashamed. A huge step towards the conservation of a marital connection will be the division of responsibility for what happened.
Speak about "now." Do not throw everything into a bunch - remember what was a year ago, one and a half and so on. Concentrate attention on the present. Discuss that your pair is capable of doing here and now, in a specific situation for healing and improving relationships. And yes, get ready for serious work on yourself in the future.

Forgiveness through rapprochement

When the pair makes the final verdict - to save a relationship by all means - the next stage should be the search for the paths of convergence. You need to remember what exactly forced them to be together, which brought them closer, and for which they fell in love with each other. In general, the recipe is such - open your eyes sewn and fall in love with each other again.

Psychologists advise to go on a journey or arrange a new honeymoon. Well, if at the same time the lovers will only two (children - to grandmother!). If there is no such possibility, try to be more often alone in the home setting. Perhaps a pair will inspire a general hobby or joint domestic lesson.

An important step towards rapprochement will be the development of other habits and traditions in the family circle. Realize that you enter into a new stage, a new era of married life. There is no place for the same experiences leading to the discrepancy. The couple should create another model of behavior from which positive and harmony will proceed.

But you need to promise not to give up at the first bad luck. After all, the first time may not work. The bitterness experienced at first will pop up. And the thought, how to forgive my husband to betray and save the family, it can periodically knock out a woman from a gauge - it will seem to her that it is unrealistic.

Tip: As soon as there is an insecurity, it is necessary to remember that now in prioritize the restoration of marriage, and not clarify who, who and what should.

If the couple is confused and does not find out of the circumstances, it is necessary to contact a psychologist. There are special exercises that are being worked out individually. They are aimed at:

Restoration of spiritual proximity between partners.
Development of new communication skills.
Getting rid of the old bars in the relationship of the couple (which led the betrayal).
Restoring former respect and admiration.
Development of the ability to listen and hear.

Having learned to do exercises, you solve the problem by 80%. Working on himself, the wife and will not notice how the insult will retreat and forgiveness will come by itself. And a strong half, discovering new faces, get rid of the feeling of guilt and shame. In return comes gratitude and inspiration. Namely, the wife is waiting for the partner.

How to restore trust and return happiness?

Trust, perhaps, the decisive factor in the question: how to survive the treason of her husband and keep marriage. If there is no trust, then there is no rapprochement, and without rapprochement there is no forgiveness. This is such a chain.

Many wives who decided to restore marriage after the experience of betrayal, passed precisely because of the inability to trust. And they are right. How to keep calm and smile on the face at the time of the care of the spouse, for example, to work. After all, in my head a lot of thoughts: Does it go to work? Why did you put new jeans? And who sent a message when he came out of the apartment?

So that the wife does not have such questionments, the pair needs to agree that the first time a man could, if possible, reported on his actions. If he strives to keep love, it will certainly be for concessions: with understanding it will take your frequent calls, questions where he and when he returns from work. Feel free to ask that he calls himself and reported, where it is, why it is delayed, and also interested in your affairs. The spouse, which has nothing to hide, will even allow his beloved to view email or go from his page in the social network.

Important! Observe the boundaries of the permitted, do not turn the trust in search and interrogations.

Gradually confidence will return and you will no longer worry about any "suspicious" occasion. And about painful: how to save the family after the treason of her husband, and forget. And it is better to write your story about it and share it with women who are useless to go in search of a response.

You suspected a husband in treason. They tried to find out the truth in different ways. And everything confirmed. So what to do? How to be now? On how best to behave, having learned about the treason of her husband, the psychologist Galina Artemieva talks.

Remember the song: "She took a decisive jacket-writer, seem to have enough forces, I said:" Total good "..."

First: Do not rush to decisively remove the jacket. Cut and think. Well, let's think together. It was found that you lived with a traitor. But you lived! Even for quite a long time. And nothing! Well, they still have cool down. Repeat, repeat about yourself: "Yes, he changed! Yes, he changed!" Well, let's repeat once a hundred times until it becomes funny. (Be sure to become, but not so soon!)

Second: Let's find yourself that nothing has happened yet yet. Everybody is alive? Lives! Even healthy! There is where to live, there is something to eat. Already good. Well - flew into your life a foreign pain. So now? Shoot Let's learn to keep a kick! Ranch this readiness in a handful and throw it on the garbage. And all! Forgot. And do not dare to stick in your poor head word from the found letter of my husband addressed to the other: "I love you, you are my only one, my wife is my cross (think only, yes? Well, reptile!), She poisoned my life, only with you I'm happy..."

I had suspicions that the husband changes, like many women, the sixth sense. I learned the truth, although not all. He traveled to "bad girls" for oral. How can this be forgiven? - It was the first question. I know that it was not enough for me, but herself will force him what he wants - I can not. I want to leave (and these thoughts were very long ago, I didn't want 2 children to be taught without a father), but now it's just necessary. We used to be often quarrels for various reasons, and now I see no reason to tolerate. The problem is only that I want to leave now, and from work will not let go (I am a teacher, now there is meaning). I do not know what to do. I will not endure these 4 months, I can not pretend. And if I express everything, I can't get it time with him. I do not know what to do...

15.02.2019 01:29:53,

Hello, the other day did not sleep at night, here there is no sleep and that's it. He began to cheat himself, and if he had another and added "no, he would not change me, he loves me very much, it's just a cheating." She climbed into his phone while he slept calmly around. He opened the first correspondence with some kind of woman. A quick look at the content .. The result, treason on the face. There were intimate pictures and talk about what they slept. On the clock 5 in the morning. Related from the bed to the sofa, cried. From the correspondence I learned a little, everything did not read everything. It was very painful. He get up in 7. rearranged the alarm clock for the near future, as if it was time to get up. The alarm clock rang, and on the clock is not the time, it can not understand what is happening. I try to curb emotions and say: "Tell me". He does not understand. "Talk everything. Who is * name *! ". He: "What are you? What is at all? You are inventing ourselves everything. " I repeat everything. Admitted. He said at the moment he was hard, stress, quarrels are small and gave slack. For more than 2 months I hid it. She does not know about me. Screw through the tears to it until 7 m in the morning. He said very much and does not want to lose. At the very tears wrapped around. I always thought that I would not forgive betray, but I myself love him and gave him a chance with the conditions, crossing myself and his pride. Gone to work. From hysterical and night without sleep I cut me on the bed. Woke up at lunch, porridge in the head, immediately into tears. Could not believe it just refused. I wrote that I was blocked everywhere and deleted. All day nothing climbed into the mouth, drank only water. So that somehow distractedly removed in the whole apartment and prepared dinner. He came. I can not look at him, barely held away tears. Someone went a little bit and gone lying on the bed. Thanked for dinner and seeing my condition, Loe near and acquired. I started crying. He repent, asked for forgiveness and said how he loves me, that he had no excuse and he could not look like me hurt. Murmed. She said that I need time to digest all this. The next day, I asked questions about it when everyone was climbing. On the phone changed the password. I have forgiven and try to let go of the situation, but there is no trust and what I do not know. And suddenly pies again, I doubt the words. It seems to have come correctly, but it is insanely difficult to forget it and take ...

13.01.2019 09:51:49,

Total 49 messages .

At some point a year and a half ago, my husband has changed to unrecognizable: from a person who adored me and blown out of me dust, he turned into a smoke man who quit for all the trifles to me and children. Every day there were scandals in the house. He accused me in everything: a bad wife, mother, not so stand, not so lie. After a year and a half, I found out that all this has love for another woman.

Is it normal at the age of 60+ to change and leave the family to mistresses for 20 years younger? My story is about it. I read a lot about cheating. Basically write that the man goes if something does not suit him. My ex-husband said that he always loved me, very, but it turned out. I am not guilty that I am so in love.

With my husband, we are familiar from 15 years old, lived in one yard. Began to meet in 2002 everything was wonderful, love, romance. In 2009 they got married, a beautiful daughter was born in a couple of years. And then I began to leave all the baby, and my husband was often quarreled. Then I found his correspondence with his student (he wrote an instructor for him) he wrote to her: what was happening between us, let them remain between us, you're a student, and I am your teacher.

They lunch, talked, laughed, noted a bright holiday, her husband was admission to the sofa in the living room, I remained in the kitchen for laptop. We have almost a kitchen-living room, the sofa is visible. I saw on the screen of his phone (he corresponded) Smiles cute, signed, went closer, for his back, he did not see me. Couples phrases correspondence was enough to understand that I did not escape the fate of the deceived wife - I remember "pleasant memories." Earth left under his feet, real affect condition

Good day to everyone. The issue of betraying for a loved one. Was there ever changed your second half? I have forgiven it or parted it? I meet with a guy three years. He confessed to the treason. Very repent, he says the drunk and did not understand anything. I want to part with him, I love him. But the insidious my inside eating me. How did you do and tell you if you were so What did your favorite person changed you?

I threw my husband, 3 months ago I just left home and that's it. Without an explanation ... From the social network I learned from his page that he now has the status of a divorced person, a girl who calls him not otherwise as a beloved ... And what to do with me? How to be me, I lived for 10 years in marriage .

We with my husband for 56 years old, we live in marriage for 30 years, there are two children, daughter 29 years old and son 22 years. In principle, all these years lived, although everyone was, but in general, marriage can be called good. And now the trouble came. In June, I learned that my husband changes me, does not like and wants to divorce. What in April he met on working with a girl and fell in love and wants to be with her.

The wife accidentally learned about the treason of her husband. He did not deny. From his words, the betray was once, on drunk, so to speak, but at the same time he discussed his wife with his mistress (tired of life, he was tired and so on.). It was originally a position, and what is it? I'm not going to leave the family, so I do not see the problem.

Often I read what the one who has changed the husband is advised not to dwell on it and live on if the family wants to keep ... Here my husband had a novel, says everything is finished there, he wants to be with me and children loves , cares, gives gifts, etc. ... I love him ... But I can't stop thinking about treason

Husband, my child's father, said he loved another woman and leaves. A couple of months ago I glowed from happiness. When I went to work after the decree, I answered questions about the money that I had the best husband in the world and God forbid everyone like that. After seven years of living together, we continued to hold hands, caress each other, as romantics kissed in the car on traffic lights and in elevators. Now I am ready to die, but the thought of the child leads me to feelings.

Suddenly caught herself to think that I would like to do something. For example, lose weight. Or hang on a dating site. Or make a lover. Is that a desire to take revenge? Should I go for it? Will it be easier?

"I can not forget the treason of her husband," almost every female forum is a shot by the desperate exclamations of unfortunate women. Reflecting on how to accept treason, remember that most people have passed through it. So, really survive any test.

How to accept treason if you can't calm down? You need to give the will with emotions: swimming, spoke to friends. Listening to sad music gives a kind of therapeutic effect. Take a quick step, visit the gym. Physical activity will hold the psyche in a difficult situation. Containing the negative corrosive from the inside. So try to occupy your hands with something useful. You need to give anger. The main condition is not to show the explosion of feelings to the perpetrator.

Tips of the psychologist claim - to prove useful. However, turning out the chosen one, risks to move away with him more. Therefore, it is better to use the technique of an "empty chair". Imagine a lover sitting on a chair opposite. Will speak out empty space. The feeling of resentment finds a way out through pronounced phrases, the level of risk of growing conflict is reduced.

Take the fact that happened

Release the pain - the only right way out.

It is impossible to change what happened. The betrayal happened, it is impossible to return the past. It remains only to create a happy future. Subsequent days try to fill out with exceptionally positive emotions.

Cut the offender reassure

Classists are usually trying to blame wing. Sometimes the root cause of male betrayal is indeed the coldness of the chosen. However, often incorrectly trying to justify: cause pity, accusing the spouse. It is impossible to allow a sense of one's own guilt. Showing responsibility - a children's deed. Changing spouse is a pretty adult man.

How to forgive her husband to betray, when the traitor refuses to recognize the mistake? Sincere repentance - the only proper way to establish relationships. Improtema personalities are usually trying to cause pity, which avoid responsibility. Before you say, "I can not forgive betrayal husband," make the culprit to learn the lesson, sincerely repent. Otherwise, there is a risk of repetition a deed.

Straight Talk

Treason of her husband is sometimes provoked by the behavior of the spouse. Try to find out the true cause of cooling. Discuss the problem with him. Frank discussions will restore mutual understanding, returning sincerity.

Carefully listen to your beloved. Keep calm, try to restrain emotions. Aggressive attack will provoke a protective position, the perpetrator will be hard to open internal experiences. Exclusively peaceful negotiations can solve the conflict.

In addition to the awareness of how to forgive her husband after treason, an understanding of the present cause of betrayal can subsequently improve the Union.

Remember joyful moments

Remember the happy moments of the marriage. Try to experience old feelings again. Resume the feeling of joy, trust, respect. The experience of happy family events will re-help acquire calm. Memories of the past will be afraid to lose the stupid beloved.

Mark the advantages of the spouse, pronounce loud. Tip How to forgive her husband for the caused pain will emerge unconsciously. A generous benevolent attitude will reveal positive marriage qualities.

Email separately

Temporary gap will create conditions to think about the events that occurred, comprehend the value of marriage. Thinking the problem alone will help to return independence, the decision to forgive the betrayal of the husband will be the most faithful. Briefly sway, understand what to do next. Perhaps a temporary lack of beloved will force a chosen one, try to return the beloved. Definitely, secluded pastime contributes to the restoration of inner calm, gain peace of mind.

Find new hobbies

Find an interesting hobby. Take free hours completely. The oppressed state will gradually stop disturbing. Get out sports. Exercise remove stress, hormones of happiness are produced. Yoga will help to gain harmony. Embroidery, photography, redevelopment of the apartment, - Any classes will distract, give positive emotions. Especially calm monotonous work with hands.

Go around with children

Children protect your common reason, give strength to survive heavy times. Organize joint walks, chat more often. Pay special attention to the child. Sensitive kids always notice the spoiled parental relationships. You need to try to carefully explain the difference to the reasons for the removal. But it must be remembered: it is impossible to punish your father, forbidding communicating with siblings. Adults need to solve problems independently.

Increase self-esteem

How to forget to betray her husband and, most importantly, how to make treason, really realize only returning a feeling of self-esteem.

Uncertain women are hard to endure betrayal. Confident - on the contrary, know the price of women's attractiveness.

Men like a little self-confident woman. Therefore, communicate, having fun, attract the attention of the male floor. Update your wardrobe, attend beauty salons. Increase your own self-esteem.

Remember compliments: loved ones, employees, especially workers. Ask the lover to describe your advantages. Better write, re-read the records. Betrayal - a challenge of self-esteem. Return your own admiration.

Try to restore trust

Treason of her husband who has happened once may repeat. Return the lost confidence is always difficult. Explain the beloved cause of anxiety. Finding home, unreasonable delays, rapid calls can cause unpleasant thoughts of the spouses, because they may be signs of re-infidelity.

Let the culprit work to harden confidence again: performs requests to come home before, takes the phone in time, share experiences. If the chosen is valued by his wife, he will try to conquer confidence again.

Do not allow jealousy

After the husband's mistake, no longer try, it's hard to trust a person again. Jealousy is able to spoil all attempts to establish harmony. However, try to find the forces to forget the offense. Checking the phone, computer, mail, endlessly by arranging interrogations, risks to unjust offend the beloved. The reasons for jealous may be simply missing. Jealousy is capable of horrible beloved from the inside. It is necessary to realize: the return of trust relationships requires the efforts of both.

Take help from a specialist

Problem how to forgive betray to her husband, specialist advice help to solve the most right. Evaluating a specific situation, family-run consultant judging impartially. Sometimes deceived wives take incorrect solutions: bred, merge mistresses, remain with unchanged women. Side view of a specialist will have a favorable service.

Psychologist tips assure - any difficult situation can be overcome.

Especially when both spouses intend to make efforts. Many couples refuse to listen to third-party tips. However, it is the specialist that prompts the methods of restoring confidence, returning respect, will help to gain confidence. Better to contact together. However, if the spouse refuses to attend sessions together, come alone. The consultant will help to work out negative emotions - anxiety, offense, pain, uncertainty, low self-esteem, depression.

Load

You need to endure some period to finally release the insult. Do not depict the joy when the pain is spreading inside. Pretending happy, only aggravate the problem. Give yourself time to figure out how to forget to betray her husband and find the forces to live on.

Try to sincerely leave past resentments. You can not remind the chosen one old misconduct. Permanent shots will only strengthen the conflict. Deciding to return the lover, forgive betrayal forever. Infinite reminders will push the chosen one, causing additional irritation.

Sometimes such situations only strengthen the Union. A peculiar verification of marriage's strength may be useful. Having tried another life, the wrong spouse often makes sure that there is no one better wife. Remember this when the lover begins to give a second chance.

Conclusion

How to forgive treason husband and live on, if not to believe in the best? Any difficult situation is actually survived. Bad life periods leave, in return always come good. We live to experience a variety of human emotions. It happens, you have to experience bitterness. There are many options for solving difficult problems.

Intending to save the family, try to sincerely forget and let go of the pain of betrayal. Charges, dins and quarrels are capable only to destroy the Union. Infinite cropping causes complicate the situation. Marriage survives, thanks to positive emotions, support, manifestation of tenderness. Everyone deserves a chance to the second attempt. Give the opportunity to be happy first of all yourself.

You can destroy marriage in different ways. The most common one is treason. People belong in different ways to happen. For some of this is a real tragedy. Others put the point and begin again. Whatever behavior of you choose, married infidelity is a reason to rethink the relationship in your family. How to forgive betrayal husband, and whether it is worth doing this?

From this article you will learn:

Is it possible to forgive betray
How to forgive betray her husband and live on
What to do to forgive betray her husband
Do I need to forgive her husband's treason

9 reasons why men change

Perhaps the words of Martha Ketro will be reassured: "In the end, he is worse - I just lost the wrong lover, and he lost a woman who loved him." But let's try to understand why men make betrayal?

Many believe that a man polygamen is from nature and nothing to do with it. It is not true. If all husbands changed their wives, no marriage would have left. This problem makes us go in long reasoning.

Psychology.
Most men do not consider treason with something immoral. From a long time, such behavior was explained by animal instincts that are in every male. While the Society has always presented harsh requirements in everything that concerned behavior, appearance, clothes, and even cosmetics. While the guys were entertained, as they could, the girls were prescribed to take care of her honor. Such conviction still lives in the modern world.
Love has passed.

Long joint accommodation and common life can kill love. The man and the woman no longer feel happy, but also do not decide. After all, they will follow the divorce of the property, alimony, and life together has already become so familiar. In bed, the pair also does not work well. The absence of passion, and sometimes the closest, pushes a man in search of a new sexual partner.
Therefore, for the spouse, it is very important to constantly maintain interest in my husband. To do this, you need to be able to be different, to improve, cause admiration for a man. But even this does not always help preserve relationships.

Alcohol.

Many men admit that they were solved on treason after drank alcohol. They simply did not give a report in their actions. Already then men regretted what happened and apologized to the wives. However, alcohol cannot be an excuse for marital infidelity. Most likely, such men repeatedly thought about treason, but they were not solved to do it on a sober head.
Revenge.
A man can change his wife out of revenge for her infidelity. But most often his act is explained by past insults. To you, he was already hurt, betrayed, so now he unconsciously revenge you for the old wound.
Lack of attention and sex.

Studies confirm that the largest amount of change occurs when a woman lasts the postpartum period. At that moment it is difficult for her to deliver her husband's pleasure, because the body is restored after pregnancy. It is worth adding trouble to care for the baby to whom a woman gives all his attention. In a hard time, a man should be near and help her. But instead, he is offended and changing. Very often, the wife does not even know about the novel of the spouse. She has too much worries.

Social orientation.

Sometimes a man makes himself a mistress for status. When the business partners have a young girlfriend, he does not want to lag behind. It also happens that the woman manager itself declares her subordinate to a sexual connection. Of course, this situation is more common when the Male Chief insists in connection with his employee. But there are different cases.

Desire to self-esteem.

When a man is aging, it is more difficult for him to put up with the inevitable changes associated with his age. To prove to yourself and others that he is still capable of much, a man makes himself a young mistress. So he feels more confident and strong. The girl next to him helps him look like a real macho in the eyes of others.

Love.

It can happen and so that the man just falls in love with another woman. He is fond of her and comes in touch with it. Here is very great risk to destroy your family. After all, the reason is quite serious - love.

The embodiment of sexual fantasies.

We all sometimes dream about forbidden. However, not everyone can openly declare its erotic desires. Men who are afraid to entrust their fantasy wives, go to search for women who are ready to support their sexual ideas. Perhaps the reason is that the husband knows that his half does not agree to such experiments and even laugh at it.

How is treason different from betrayal?

We very often confuse the concepts of "treason" and "betrayal", and these are different things. Let us give an example. When a person changes work on a higher paying, it is treason. If, before leaving, he stole an important information, then this betrayal. Here, the relationship between the employee and the employer did not just move into a new status, and the organization was financed and morally.

Sometimes everything is delayed so much that children appear at the mistress, and she begins to demand more. It is necessary to consider any situation individually. While the betrayal is difficult to justify, one time you can try to forget.

Treason Husband: Forgive or leave?

So, it turned out that the spouse has someone. You conducted a small investigation, and it turned out that it is true. How to do now? Is it possible to forgive her husband's treason?

Do not hurry.

Stop and reflect. You understood that we built a joint life with a person who has changed you. But you lived with him for a long time. Try to close your eyes. Admit out loud treason: "Yes, he changed!". Say these words as many times as you can. If you repeat the phrase for a long time, after a while you will laugh at it.

So far nothing terrible happened.

Health is fine. There is food and roof over your head. Yes, the situation is unpleasant, but this is not a reason to commit suicide! You need to take yourself in hand and get rid of the negative. Forget about this once and forever. And stop scrolling in the head of the message, which your beloved wrote mistress, expressly expressing at your address.

Clear for yourself what is important for you.

Surely you think about forgive to betray her husband and save the family. And it is quite real. The main desire.

If you want harmony between you and her husband, prohibit yourself to mention the rival out loud, ask him questions about it, compare and even more so lying down. It is unpleasant and meaningless.

Perhaps you realized that they could not forget nor forgive her husband, so decide to divorce him. Just know that the gap will not bring you relief. In any case, not immediately. Divorce is not always the right choice. Most likely, the only one who wins from this is the mistress of the spouse.

You can insist on termination of communication on the side.

A man can agree to this and will try to return the family to peace and love. If this is your case, do not remember the past, do not reproach it. After all, he stayed with you. Didn't you like this?

Spouse continues the novel on the side.

When a man refuses to stop a love relationship, put it a condition. Had, but without threats, declare him about his intention to divorce. Your husband will definitely break on the other if your union is important for him and he understands what you say seriously.

How to raise self-esteem?

Let's an example on men. How can a man raise his self-esteem? For example, if men grow in a career and business, then its self-esteem is growing. It becomes more courageous, more confident. Why? Because he understands that what he is more successful, that it is in principle more valuable for many people. And his condition changes from this.

Many girls also resort to this, standing career or business. But it is important to understand, yes, self-esteem from the career or business can also grow higher, but this is not a self-esteem of a woman, this is self-esteem of a person. And often a woman can be sure of work, in business, but often Belibard happens in life. And often there is such a dissonance that in the career and business is successful, but there is no relationship. In women differently. Self-assessment Women strongly depends on the quality of relationships with men.

So the world is arranged. This does not mean that you have to step or try to shake or try. Not. This means that you first should establish relationships with you for yourself. These are the most important relationships that you must establish. And when you set them up, relationships and men will be applied. In the meantime, you do not have a relationship with you, you want to manipulate, you want to portray yourself who you are and you attract the same men who are depicting those who are not. And you are with each other engaged in hard sex in the brain. If it is satisfied with it, keep up the good work if it does not suit you, ask yourself more often the question: what is my plan, what I really want and what I do for this or do not. Straight I move to my goal and desires or I trample on the spot.

In the end, you decide whether to forgive her husband after treason. Making a choice, be prudent, do not give in to emotions. They can force you to do unwise.

Your spouse is not like that you imagine it.
If you feel about it as a subject of furniture, then somewhere else can appreciate it in dignity. And he will return home to stay after love joy. It is possible that you are useful for him only as a housekeeper.
If he is your spouse, it does not mean at all that he is your property.
The person has the right to make any actions, it is his life. He may also be mistaken, and then recognize his blunders. You yourself affect what a man will regret more: about marriage with you or about the novel with your rival.
My husband had another, and did you find out about it? Leave emotions and think what you want most of all:

- Without losing time, disperse forever, and then try to forget the traitor.

- try to restore the previous relationship.

- Fight for a spouse so that he does not get his mistress.

- Understand yourself to understand where you yourself made a mistake. Take the situation under control.

You can take any solution. There is no faithful and wrong. But first think well what you want to come to come to do not regret with time what you have done.

And remember the important rule: the desire to take revenge destroys us. Life itself punishes those who were guilty, she returns the pain to someone who caused it. This will happen when you already and you will not expect retaliation. Just calm down and tune in to make the right choice for you.

Respect yourself. If you have become aware of the infidelity of the spouse, do not look for meetings with his mistress, do not try to put it in a disadvantage, do not come together in its disadvantages. Hold yourself from unworthy behavior. This is necessary first of all to you. Show character to be proud of yourself.
If you decide to save your family, you must forgive betrayal to her husband. Forget about what happened and forever. Do not remind your spouse about it, do not reproach it, do not iron. Otherwise, soon he will begin to regret that he chose you, not a mistress.
To be generous is not easy. However, if you want to return the previous relationship with your man, you have to try. Resurrect former feelings is always more difficult than destroying.
Revenge nothing to decide. If you think that a new partner will comfort you and help you forget the pain, then you are mistaken. If we are thrown into the mud, you need to get out of there as quickly as possible and go further. But if you immediately cling to the first oncoming, it means that you will re-fall in a puddle, only now at your own request. And at the same time trying to justify themselves because it is just a retribution.
Take care of yourself. Many women tragedy associated with a treason of spouse provokes various female sexual areas. This is a natural body response caused by emotional experiences. Take care of yourself, take care of how you look and feel yourself. Chat more with other people, it will help not focus on the negative.
It doesn't matter if his wife forgive her husband forgive, you will stay together or disperse, try to keep good relationships. Perhaps at first you will be unpleasant for the thought itself about it. But in fact, to stay friends - this is the most reasonable and correct solution for both of you.

Is it possible to forgive her husband's treason? What do psychologists answer this? It can happen to any woman: one day it becomes known that the spouse is a novel on the side. At this point it is difficult to be judicial, so it makes mistakes that subsequently regrets. However, you can easily and quickly get rid of the rainbits. It is only worth applying the advice of the psychologist in practice.

1. Family life as a business plan.

When we experience strong feelings to the partner, we are prone a lot to notice. Take a look at how my spouse behaves. There are signs for which you can recognize treason. Having experienced a sense of guilt, the husband begins to actively care for you: brings gifts, pays more attention to you, becomes more active in sex. He shows a strong anxiety and fear when his phone calls. A man avoids visual contact with you, often goes into himself, he has a missing appearance.

Sometimes it is possible to detect explicit proof - a trail of lipstick on his clothes. Do not fall into despair. First, think about how your marriage was. There will always be a man for whom Treason is something normal, they are used to changing women as gloves, it seems to them that each next will be better than the previous one. But there are not many such. Basically, the husbands find a mistress, because in family life they lack something. Perhaps you pay a lot of time and ceased to follow the appearance. Or maybe too passionate about the work, and you have no time or on the house or on yourself.

One of the best ways to make betrayal is a romantic dinner. That evening you stay alone and share your thoughts about your family life with each other. Tell the partner that you are pleased, but what do not like, and listen to him. Do it constructively, without disputes and insults. Well do records in a special journal, where comments are noted and wishes. It reminds business planning when the strengths and weaknesses of the project are prescribed.

It is possible that a man considers it ridiculous. Explain to him that relations in the family, as well as professional activities, require attention. Over harmony in marriage you need to work. Agree on all issues related to a joint life. Discuss your bed, financial issues, household, raising children. If you set the rules that are understandable to both, many troubles can be avoided. For example, you decided that in the evening one hour each of you will be engaged in your business. When this moment comes, do not climb to my husband with your own requests for help. You had a persuasion!

2. Take yourself.

How to forgive and forget to betray her husband? The appearance of a rival is poorly reflected on the self-esteem of a woman. The dissatisfaction with himself provokes it to strange actions, so a man annoges on his spouse is even stronger. Transfer focus of attention from your relationship to myself. Decide to become better - more attractive, well-groomed, attentive to her husband. Work on yourself so that the man thinks, is it really good his new lover.

First, take care of your appearance. Contact your cosmetologist, hairdresser and stylist. Sign up for massage procedures, do yoga, learn to swim. Visit an interesting lecture, pass the training personality training or read the useful book. In general, choose what you like, most importantly - so that you restore and able to learn something new for yourself.

Many women complain: I can not forgive my husband to betray - what to do? Follow not only. Pay attention to the house. Make it so comfortable so that my husband is pleased to be in it. If the house is enveloped by pleasant flavors, and after work it is waiting for appetizing dishes cooked by the hands of a beautiful woman, then the man will be happy to return to the family.

Give your husband an unforgettable feeling in bed. Perhaps shortly before you have already succeeded in this. So what? Now it is very important for you to restore good relationships with a man. Just go to active actions after you have worked on self-confidence.

Discuss his mistress with her husband, but without hysterics and injuries on your part. Admit to him: "Yes, I was not always right, so you switched to another." Offer him to analyze your relationship. Do not blame him. Let him feel that it is not sensible to you.

How to understand that you have become more confident in yourself? You are no longer worried about how you live without a husband. You got rid of the thought that no one needs. You are sure that you can always find the other, and it doesn't matter for you, whether the husband will be with you. But you still want to be together.

3. Inscribe a man.

How to behave, giving treason to her husband? Try to bring jealousy from her husband. Just do not tell him directly that you met with someone. Insert it. For example, in the evening, come back later by usual, bring home bouquets of colors, answer calls from another room. Let the spouse have a feeling that you hide something. The hunter's instinct will be worse and the desire to find out that such an interesting happens in your life.

In the future, build a line of behavior depending on the situation. If you understand that the spouse does not want to restore the previous relationship and is not served on your provocations, act otherwise - ask for help. Contact him with household requests. For example, repair the washing machine or check that not so with the stove. Show him that you can not handle it and it is important for you to participate. At the same time, he must feel that you do not demand anything from it, and he has the right to refuse you.

If he really does not agree to help, then leave him alone. Be sure to convince yourself that too good for him. Yes, you can not think differently if by this time has become more confident in yourself.

4. Choose a rival from the head.

When you dealt with your behavior with my husband, you should think about the rival. There is only one important rule here: leave it alone. And here's what you need to avoid:

Point her husband for its disadvantages. Perhaps her feet not perfect and the mind she does not shine, but if we talk about it out loud, it is likely that the spouse will begin to interfere with her. Do you want it?
To enter into contact with it when meeting or by phone. Attempts to cause pity in the rival with stability about children, insults and even the assault time will demonstrate once again, as far as you are inactive. Take yourself in hand and increase your self-esteem.
To be friends with her. It is meaningless and even harmful. You will always worry and be angry. And they will splash on her husband, who will answer you aggression. Relationships can be even worse.
Never communicate with your rival. Just forget about her.

5. Do not talk about my husband badly.

If you have forgiven former husband to betray, but you think it's still a scoundrel, in the circle of other people talk about it only good. It is incredibly hard. But it is better to tell you that you are tormented by a psychologist than mom or girlfriends. Why mom is extra experience? In addition, if suddenly a relationship with a man is put up, she will treat him biased. Girlfriends also will not help anything. If they are married, then try to persuade you to quit a soul mate. Free and can start to seduce your spouse, taking the breakdown between you.

6. You are not a victim.

When a woman is young, she can easily forgive her husband after treason. A mature woman to make it much more difficult. After all, behind her shoulders many years of marriage and children whom they with a man brought up together. In such a situation, the infidelity of the spouse is perceived as a tragedy. To preserve relationships and live on, the fact of treason should be taken. In no case do not build myself a sacrifice. On the contrary, remind you of what you are stunning. Does the husband take a step in your direction? Go to meet him. However, do not hide your emotions. The culprit of your disadvantage should feel pity for yourself, and not to you.

7. Talk to pursuit.

Another way, how to forgive betrayal husband - openly talk to him. It doesn't matter whether he told about treason or you "caught up" to him, discuss what happened. During the conversation, it is important to choose the right tactics. If you are mild and calm, then try to be a bit aggressive, show character. If you are temperamental and strong woman, then be more modest and restrain your anger. Your unexpected behavior will cause a wonder in a man. If he always admired your wisdom, manifest it in this difficult situation. Do not promise him to take revenge, but do not forgive him too fast. The main thing is to let him feel guilty. So he will punish himself.

8. Almate separately.

How to forgive your wife to betray her husband, if she seems daily with him? The best way out is for some time to leave the spouse, leaving something that resembles yourself. So he will think about his wife constantly. The hand in the relationship is needed not only in order to make her husband wander alone, this time must be used for reflection. If between the spouses were initially deep feelings, then forget to treason will not be so difficult. In such families, infidelity usually provoke banal conflicts. Where should I leave? Definitely not to parents. It is better to go on a tourist trip, where you can relax. Children are recommended to go with mom. Explain to her husband that this is a forced measure.

9. Hobbies.

Many women wonder: what to do if it does not work for forgive betray? Suppose you accepted the fact of treason and even forgave her husband. However, the most difficult thing is to get rid of the resentment, which appears whenever you remember what happened. A new hobby can distract you from unpleasant emotions. And who knows, maybe your interests will turn into something more. It is impossible to devote our thoughts to the whole man, so you will never forget about treason. Better learn to love yourself, and you will stop afraid that you will stay without a second half. Try something new: Language courses or dancing classes. It's never too late to make a variety of life.

10. Children are not here.

Do not manipulate your husband with the help of a child. Two adults should cope with the difficulties themselves. In turn, care for children is a great tool to forget treason. Spend more time with them, walk in the fresh air, help them in difficult situations. Recall all the best that was in your marriage, for example, the birth of children. This will help you forgive the man with your heart, and not just words. Do not forget that we are all wrong. Try to make my husband start in your family. Tell the children about what we intend to take. In your words should not be negative in the address of the Father. Children of certain age can have their point of view.

11. Forgive not necessarily.

Do you always need to forgive her husband? Not. Especially if, the main reason is a small child or many years of marriage. If you feel that unable to forget the infidelity of the second half, it is pointless to continue to live together.

I do not want to forgive betrayal husband! - There are often such cases. Do not be afraid to stay alone. A self-sufficient woman with good self-esteem has a high chance to meet the soul mate, despite his age. Maybe your husband's novel on the side is a reason to start all over again. If you do not like your spouse, neither children nor years living together, your relationship will not save.

So to forgive treason to her husband? To get started, find out why the spouse started a novel on the side. If the reason is clear to you, and you worked it out, then pay attention to the behavior of the husband. If he continues to communicate with his mistress, it's time to divorce. In any case, do not hurry to draw conclusions. The solution must be weighted.

Video: Why do men change, and whether it is worth forcing treason:

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hi, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I expert psychology of relationships and over the years of practice helped more than 10,000 girls to meet decent halves, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding in families who were on the verge of divorce.

Most of all in the world, the happy eyes of students who meet people of their dreams are inspired and enjoy a truly bright life.

My goal is to show women such a way to develop relationships, which will help them create synergies of success and happiness!

Women's revenge is scary

This phenomenon is increasingly found in modern life. Mstim people usually in response to any words or actions. A bright example of revenge is a response to treason of husband. It is in such a situation that revenge is manifested in all its glory. A woman, offending, turns into a cunning, calculating opponent for a husband who puts itself a goal - bring him spiritual pain and torment. And, there is nothing worse than that sweet and charming even once the bride, which is now a vengeful bitch.

Women's revenge is scary.

In order for a woman to decide on a similar step and start revenge, you need a man once to make a serious mistake.

How to restore the relationship after treason husband

If the woman decided to return the spouse in the family, then you need to use the following recommendations:

try to determine the cause of treason. What happened? Why did he decide to change? It will make it possible to understand what to do next;
You need to do your appearance. Such changes will help her husband look at his wife in a new way.

It is likely that he even has the former feelings will flare up with a new force;
Find a hobby. This will give the opportunity to distract from what happened and will attract the attention of the spouse;
Stop controlling a man. They do not like it terribly. If a woman gives her husband freedom, he most likely, and will not change.

How to learn confidence? The most difficult after betrayal is to return the relationship to the previous level. It will take a large number of strength. It should be understood that the former level of confidence will still not be.

But you can try to get closer to it:

it is necessary to understand that treason will not be easy. This may require a lot of time. We must be ready to work on yourself;
we must talk with my husband. For a long time and frankly. Discuss everything, talk about your feelings. This will give a chance to get closer;
contact psychologist. He will tell how to forgive the spouse, will help to understand his own feelings, will explain how to start to trust her husband again;
tell your husband that he is no longer trusted as before. You can try to learn this, only here will need his help and support;
concentrate on good. It will be difficult, but it is necessary to celebrate his actions that demonstrate his good attitude to the spouse.

Not all ladies can continue to live with his spouse after information about their treason is revealed. What should I do if you do not manage to believe my spouse again?

You can take advantage of the following tips

we need to study relationship together together. The spouse should be patient and make his wife trust him again;
visit a psychologist. If it fails to cope yourself, then an experienced specialist will be able to help move on;
dispose. Of course it is difficult. But if you can not believe as before your spouse, then why such a marriage?;
it should be understood that constant treason will not end. One thing is a fleeting novel, and another is a permanent mistress. So here you can either come to terms with it, or to disperse - the choice remains for a woman.

Women often feel treasure from the man, if there is not even this feeling, it will noticeably in his behavior and haggards, his cardinal change is perpetual conversations on the phone and leaving the other room, delays at work, business trips, will immediately beat the alarming bell. If a woman learned about treason, there will be many questions in the head, and the choice is one, stay or leave? You should not start drinking, because the woman is quickly drawn into alcohol, do not care for cigarettes, it's a nebody of problems. Not many men admit to immediately changed, it will be angry, because it is ashamed to confess this act. If a man confessed in his treason and regrets that she made such nonsense, the woman thinks, and will there be one more time? You can not believe the man in this case it happened once, and the second time will happen. Women If they decided to stay, I forgave, believed our man, it would be difficult for everyone to take it all, do not think that I changed, because the reproaches will only worse and avoid the decision to leave the man will not remain.

If the husband changed, is it worth forgotten?

If in marriage and there are children, a woman thinks first of all about himself, but it is difficult to grow children about children, especially if two or three, and maybe more. Many marriages live, for the sake of children that B was a full-fledged family. But if you can't endure such treason, the neighbors begin to show your fingers, go beyond, the children have already seen, think about them, do not injure the children of the psyche, leave this man, it will be easier. Women, if one child, do not be afraid, go away from this person, will find much better, you should not be afraid, women very often take men with one child and life will be much better.

Is it worth keeping a family if the husband changes on the other

If treason from a woman, do not start drinking, it hurts your children, think about decisions, talk to my wife, listen and understand what happened and make one solid solution. Often it happens due to the fact that men spend a lot of time at work, without paying attention to his wife, they are in work and in bed. Women need attention and compliments, not a forgotten scarf, to which they did not touch for a long time.

Is it worth changing her husband with the former?

Often such marriages will not save, return to the past will be very often, reproaches, quarrels will end with reproach about treason, everything will be difficult. The rightful decision will disperse, if small children, then try to explain with age, just do not blame for anyone, talk about your former husband all the best and provide to make a choice when children will grow up with whom they will live, it will be only a child's decisions.

Try to leave without quarrels, be smarter, the scandals are not for what, do not show your weakness, be proud.

Pour the soul. If you can, visit the psychologist. Or say mom, sister, close friend - to someone who trust, listen to whose advice. In the case when sorry from the hut does not want, make a personal diary and hang all the mental pain on his pages. Get distracted. Find a lesson to switch to more pleasant thoughts. Go to visit, cinemas, choose a new active hobby for yourself, Meet new people.
Sign up for swimming, fitness, horse riding or deal with other physical exertion. Change the situation. Take your vacation and go hiking, traveling, resort, just another city. Indulge yourself. If you have an old desire to do something - the time has come. Plesh yourself with pleasant trifles, new clothes, delicious food. Increase self-esteem. Treason of her husband undermined your faith in myself

Correct it with all available ways: take care of yourself, buy beautiful clothes, enjoy compliments and attention of other men. Make a list of your best qualities, and every day reread it

Remember - the infidelity of the spouse does not lead to the end of the world, life continues in any case. Try to seem calm at least outwardly, remember your self-esteem. Take a decision on forgiveness or divorce only when calmed down and weigh everything for and against. Take this solution yourself, not listening to draws, only your own heart and mind.

If your opinion "I love my husband very much, but changing," you are recommended to think better about the fact that you really love. If so, then on your part there should be an apology and promises about the fact that there will never be more such changes. Try to convince your beloved that infidelity was just a big mistake. Perhaps you will be given a second chance, but not always it is possible. So you have to make a decision, and absolutely anyone.

I love my husband but changing

Just put yourself in place of your favorite and think about what you would do in case if you have changed. It is unlikely that your impressions would be positive. Do not change your beloved, and if it has already done this, then with the hope of everything to return our best to ask for forgiveness. If you are going to change, admit and break down with your husband, you should not scold my brains and once again deceive.

Can a wife love her husband and change? Someone from the female representatives will shout "of course", but, because if we argue logically and without bias, you should simply recognize that treason is already a sign of the lack of love. Well, you have feelings for a person, do they prove their betrayacy? No need to deceive yourself, it's stupid. You just need to admit that if you changed, it means, love is not so strong and not sincerely, as it should actually be in a loving couple.

Treason Husband: What to do?

And what can be said about a man, does his betrayal be considered a permissible and normal phenomenon? Of course, this is not the case, even if the husband has changed, but he says he loves, it's not necessary to forgive him right away. How can you love and change? These are incompatible concepts, you need to realize it. When a person comes on the other to bed, he must remember that his loving wife is waiting for him, and even children.

Forgive, but only in that situation, if a man on his knees ask for forgiveness and prove that betrayal was random and last in his life. Then it is possible to give a chance, but in this case further to relate to relationships and follow some suspicious televisions. It may not be forgive any, so the option is not suitable for everyone, you also need to offer another way.
Think again, can a loving husband change, and then, making sure that the answer is negative, go to it to declare the end of the relationship. Decision is fair and reasonable. No rests should in the future correct your decision. If they said that it would be so, it means so and should be without discussion. And what if it starts threatening? Forget about everything is good and understand that this is the person who did not love you. Contact the police freely where you will be ready to offer professional assistance.