Positive emotions, how to call them. How to cause emotions from the viewer

The arguments are sometimes not enough to attract people to their side. We must use emotions. Mikhail Lomonosov has a little-known, but a very useful book about how to manage people, in particular, what needs to be done or say to cause anger, joy, hope, ambition and other emotions. Tell about it.

Lomonosov proposes to understand how and from what every feeling in the listeners is born. How to call the emotions that we need in the listeners with the help of speech. In addition, he emphasizes that a good speaker should always imagine who is addressed to the performance. Everything is important here: the age of listeners, their level of education and upbringing, even the floor. Lomonosov Many times convinced that the arguments for men and for women are sometimes needed not just different, and at all opposites. Moreover, he brought an interesting pattern: men are easier than the emotions of the speaker, but quickly cool, women, on the contrary, are worse, but deeply.

Mikhail Lomonosov conducted a clear distinction between the "rhetoric" and "eloquence". The rhetoric, in his opinion, is "the science of any of the proposed matter to speak and write", and eloquence - "the art of every matter of matter is rediously talking and the other to tend to their opinion about it." And if rhetoric is a lesson for scientists of husbands, then eloquence is an art that everyone can learn. For those who wish to master Lomonosov wrote a "brief guide to eloquence", in which he proposed several advice on how to influence the emotions of the listeners and conquer their hearts.

Customer Emotions: 7 Pain Points of Buyers for Big Sales

Step by step guide on how to cause people different emotions

1. How to call in the listeners a sense of joy:

to tell what benefits acquired listeners and what success did they achieve;
remind, what papers and efforts were worth their achievement;
mention that many others sought to the same goal, but could not achieve it;
pay attention that the enemies and rivals are saddened by our success;
praise listeners and say that they are worthy of this success.

2. How to console listeners in trouble:

to assure that instead of lost benefits, they will receive other, equal and even large;
say that in his loss and their sorrow they are not alone;
remember that human life is often tripled so that even the most worthy sometimes tolerate defeats and worry misfortunes, but there are always difficulties to replace difficulties;
call for action by saying that sadness and longing the situation does not correct and not return lost;
encourage a listener with hope for success.

3. How to awaken hope:

declare that the achievement of the desired result is possible, and although there are obstacles, but they are overcome;
suggest possible ways to overcome obstacles;
submit examples of how others have sought such results, being even in a more difficult situation.

4. How to excite ambition in man:

praise his actions and merits, sometimes it is appropriate to even exaggerate them;
compare his merits with the merits of those who are equal to him by office, and give him the palm of championship;
mention that without ambition and enthusiasm it is impossible to achieve personal and professional heights;
to express confidence that this person, with due diligence, even the most difficult tasks on the shoulder.

5. How to awaken the feeling of anger against someone:

report that the listeners are not enough of the fact that the offense is inflicted, so the offender will still despise them and mocks them, and also boasts to his act;
convince that in the future, this person may have even greater troubles;
express confidence that such a resentment and for less worthy people would be unbearable, as well as that and less resentment is impossible;
remind that the insult came from a person to whom everyone had a friendly configured and arranged;
to assure that if this offense is forgiven and leave unposted, then others will decide that we are weak and we can offend.

6. How to call mercy:

vividly outlines the plight of the victim;
suggest listeners to try on this situation on themselves;
if the victim himself is to blame for what happened, show that he recognizes his guilt and regrets her, promising will continue to do this anymore;
if possible, to submit to the age of victim (youth or old age) or the difficult circumstances of his life as an excuse;
to convey to the listeners that their mercy is his only chance for salvation.

The Library "Home Thought" presents the book of Mikhail Lomonosov "Quick Guide to Eloquence", in which it tells in detail about the rules for building speech.

Details created: 07/16/2017 17:04

"We are vaguely write that they imagine vaguely"

Mikhail Lomonosov

Mikhail Lomonosov Great scientist known to us, as a naturalist, chemist, physicist, astronomer, mechanic, geographer. But no less great results, as a magnificent speaker and the founder of eloquence. In his famous book "Rhetoric", he highlights the rhetoric itself - the doctrine of eloquence in general; oratoria - instruction to the composition of speeches in prose; Poets - instruction to the composition of poetic works. And if rhetoric is a lesson for scientists of husbands, then eloquence is an art that everyone can learn.

It was about that, Lomonosov wrote in his own, not such a well-known, but very useful from the practical side "Quick Guide to Eloquence." What is in it, what can interest us and today, in 250 years? In this book we get a clear leadership, as causing different emotions from the listener: joy, hope, anger, mercy, manage them, inclining the action you need.

What needs to be done so that the feeling needed in the listener? First, imagine who will listen to you. Everything is important here, to the smallest details: age, education, cultural layer, floor.

An interesting fact that Lomonosov drew attention to: Men are easier than the emotions of the speaker, but quickly cool, women, on the contrary, are worse, but deeply.

We use some advice, how to influence the emotions of the listeners and conquer their hearts.

Step-by-step instruction:

1. How to call in the listeners a sense of joy:

to tell what benefits acquired listeners and what success did they achieve;
remind, what papers and efforts were worth their achievement;
mention that many others sought to the same goal, but could not achieve it;
pay attention that the enemies and rivals are saddened by our success;
praise listeners and say that they are worthy of this success.

2. How to console listeners in trouble:

to assure that instead of lost benefits, they will receive other, equal and even large;
say that in his loss and their sadness they are not alone; -nop thinking that human life is often tripled so that even the most worthy sometimes suffer defeats and worry
misfortunes, however, there are always time for replacing time;
call for action by saying that sadness and longing the situation does not correct and not return lost;
encourage a listener with hope for success.

3. How to awaken hope:

declare that the achievement of the desired result is possible, and although there are obstacles, but they are overcome;
suggest possible ways to overcome obstacles;
submit examples of how others have sought such results, being even in a more difficult situation.

4. How to excite ambition in man:

praise his actions and merits, sometimes it is appropriate to even exaggerate them;
compare his merits with the merits of those who are equal to him by office, and give him the palm of championship;
mention that without ambition and enthusiasm it is impossible to achieve personal and professional heights;
to express confidence that this person, with due diligence, even the most difficult tasks on the shoulder.

5. How to awaken the feeling of anger against someone:

report that the listeners are not enough of the fact that the offense is inflicted, so the offender will still despise them and mocks them, and also boasts to his act;
convince that in the future, this person may have even greater troubles;
express confidence that such a resentment and for less worthy people would be unbearable, as well as that and less resentment is impossible;
remind that the insult came from a person to whom everyone had a friendly configured and arranged;
to assure that if this offense is forgiven and leave unposted, then others will decide that we are weak and we can offend.

6. How to call mercy:

vividly outlines the plight of the victim;
suggest listeners to try on this situation on themselves;
if the victim himself is to blame for what happened, show that he recognizes his guilt and regrets her, promising will continue to do this anymore;
if possible, to submit to the age of victim (youth or old age) or the difficult circumstances of his life as an excuse;
to convey to the listeners that their mercy is his only chance for salvation.

So, using the arguments facing emotions, we can create a certain condition in humans.

But do not forget that only a parity combination of emotional and rational can give a 100% result when working with listeners.

Positive emotions - the state of a person who bring positive sensations. Everyone knows what expectation of success, a feeling of happiness, satisfaction or trust. All at least once in his life experienced love, compassion.

Why did Nature awarded humanity with a gift - the ability to experience positive emotions? They allow you to feel happy and energetic. It is such states that help people achieve their goals, and also make life happier and improve relationships with others.

How to cause positive emotions if you use the following tips.

Tune in immediately after waking up on a positive. Tell me: "Today is a beautiful day. I radiate smile, goodwill and happiness. "

If you felt that I suddenly started to find a handron, close your eyes and imagine how one of your

When you felt anger, disappointment and other negative emotions, read the positive book, look at the comedy, turn on a cheerful song.

Remember that negative thoughts come to mind easier and get rid of them difficult. Therefore, as soon as they start to overcome, immediately switch to happy memories.

Use positive assertions - affirmations. They can be easily found in the books of such writers as: N. Predina, L. Hay, and the like. Affirmations are in a huge amount on the sites of the following topics: esoteric, psychology, etc. They can be thought of themselves. For example, "luck with me is always", "Fortune helps me always", "Success for me" and others.

If you have to communicate with unpleasant people during the day, try before talking with them to fill yourself with a sense of understanding, warmth. You will gradually change the attitude to those who are not considered.

Always avoid communicating with negative people. Strive to talk with leaders rich. They always have positive emotions and thoughts.

Even if you have a unpleasant life situation, go to the mirror, smile through power. Tell me: "Everything changes only for the better." And remember that from any problem there is a way out, and you will find it.

Stop watching news, horror films, thrillers, crime. They fill you with negative thoughts. You have seen situations for a long time you will remember and attach similar problems and trouble in your life.

Positive emotions create yoga classes, qigong. Practice meditating, send mantras, learn Feng Shui. Oriental art was originally created to encourage inner calm and surround a person abundance, good and joy.

Program yourself before bedtime on a good rest. This will help the practice of relaxation. First concentrate on the fingers of the right leg, relax them, then stop, shin, thigh, etc. Alternately move your feet, hands. Then relax the body, neck, head. As a result, you will stop feeling your body, feel lightness and freedom. At these moments, imagine something pleasant and gradually fall asleep. All night the subconscious will work on the execution of your desires. And in the morning you will wake up with a good mood.

So what are the emotions? Positive and negative. The first simplifies life, create successful situations and help to avoid many problems and disagreements. Negative emotions are the path to depression and Handra. They complicate life with scandals, despondency. And when a person is under their influence, the world seems gray and hated. Change the inner sensations with the help of the methods described above, and your life will become bright, and good luck will accompany you always. Every day will delight new events and pleasant changes.

Having affecting emotions, we can greatly influence another person. Moreover, almost all types of influence (both honest and not very) are built on the management of emotions. Threats, or "Psychological Pressure" ("Or you go to my conditions, or I will work with another company") - This is an attempt to cause fear among another; Question: You man or not? " - aims to cause irritation; Interactive proposals ("Let's still alone?" Or "will you come to a cup of coffee?") - a challenge of joy and easy excitement. Since emotions are motivators of our behavior to cause certain behavior, it is necessary to change the emotional state of the other.

It is possible to do this in a completely different ways. It is possible to blackmail, to declare ultimatums, to be threatened with fines and punishments, show the Kalashnikov automaton, remind about their connections in power structures, etc. Similar types of influence are classified as the so-called barbaric, that is, violating modern ethical norms and values \u200b\u200bof society. The barbaric methods include those in society are considered "dishonest" or "ugly".

We consider those methods for managing the emotions of others, which relate to "honest", or civilized types of influence. That is, not only my goals are taken into account, but also the goals of my partner to communicate.

And here we immediately come across the question, which is very often hearing at trainings: management of emotions of others - is it manipulation or not? Is it possible to "prominate" to others through his emotional state to achieve their goals? And how to do it?

Indeed, very often the emotions of other people are associated with manipulation. At various trainings, you can often hear the query: "Teach us manipulated." Indeed, manipulation is one of the strongest ways to manage the emotions of others. At the same time, oddly enough, far from the most efficient. Why? Let's remember: Efficiency is the ratio of the results to cost, and the result, and the costs in this case may be related to the actions and to emotions.

What is manipulation? This is a kind of hidden psychological influence when the purpose of the manipulator is unknown.

Thus, firstly, manipulation does not guarantee the desired result. Despite the existing idea of \u200b\u200bmanipulation as a great way to achieve anything from anything, without paying anything, very rare people can consciously manipulate it in such a way as to achieve the necessary action. Since the purpose of the manipulator is hidden and he does not directly call it, the person who manipulates, under the influence of manipulation, can make something completely not what expected from him. After all, the paintings of the world are different. The manipulator builds manipulation, based on his painting of the world: "I will do a - and he will make it then." And the one who manipulates, acts, on the basis of his picture of the world. And it does not b and not in, and even Z is at all. Because in his picture of the world, this is the most logical thing that can be done in this situation. It is necessary to know the other very well and the course of his thoughts to schedule manipulation, and even in this case the result is not guaranteed.

The second aspect is emotional. Manipulation is carried out through the change of emotional state. The task of the manipulator is to call you an unconscious emotion in you, thus lower your logic level and achieve the necessary action from you until you think very well. However, even if he succeeds, after some time, the emotional state stabilizes, you will again become logically thinking and at this very moment will begin to ask the question "What was it?". It seems nothing special happened, talked with an adult smart person ... And the feeling that "something is wrong." As in the anecdote, "Spirals were found - the siphel remained." In the same way, any manipulation leaves after himself "sipath". People who are familiar with the concept of "manipulation" can immediately determine that there was a similar psychological impact. It will be easier for them in a sense, as they will at least clearly understand for themselves what happened. People who are not familiar with this concept will continue to walk with a vague, but very unpleasant feeling that "something wrong happened, and what is incomprehensible." What kind of person will they contact this unpleasant feeling? With those who manipulated and left behind such a "mark". If this happened once, most likely the price will be limited to the fact that the manipulator will receive from its object "delivery" (most often unconsciously). Remember, unconscious emotions will always break into your source. Also in the case of manipulation. The manipulator will somehow pay for the "precipitate": for example, hears some unexpected nasty to their address or become an offensive joke. If he manipulates regularly, then soon other people will begin to gradually avoid this person. The manipulator has very few people who are ready to support close relationship with him: no one wants to constantly be the object of manipulations and walk with an unpleasant feeling that "something with this person is wrong."

Thus, manipulation in most cases is an ineffective behavior, since: a) does not guarantee the result; b) leaves behind the unpleasant "precipitate" of the object of manipulations and leads to a deterioration of relations.
From this point of view, to manipulate other people to achieve their goals hardly makes sense.

However, in some situations, manipulation can be used. Firstly, these are the manipulations that in some sources are called "positive" - \u200b\u200bthat is, this kind of psychological impact, when the purpose of the manipulator is still hidden, but he does not act in his interests, but in the interests of what at the moment manipulates. For example, such manipulations can use doctors, psychotherapists or friends. Sometimes, when direct and open communication does not help achieve the necessary goals in the interests of another person, such an impact can be used. At the same time - attention! - Are you sure that actuallyact in the interests of another person? What is what he will do as a result of your impact, will really go to him? Remember, the "good intentions put the road to hell ...".

An example of positive manipulation

In the film "Taste of Life" * a child who has lost his parents, for a long time categorically refuses to eat, despite all the persuasions around others. The film has an episode when a girl is sitting in a restaurant kitchen. A young cook, who knows that she does not eat, at first he spoils around for some time around her, preparing a spaghetti and telling all the nuances of the recipe, and then appetizing them, sitting next to her. At some point, he is asked to go into the hall to customers, and it seems to be automatically fussing a plate with a spaghetti girl in hand. For some time, hesitating, she begins to eat ...

* "Taste of Life" (eng .no Reservations) - Romantic comedy 2007. The director of the film Scott Hicks removed him according to the Carol Fuffs scenario, based on the work of Sandra Nettlubek. This is a remake of the German film "Officer Martha". In the main roles of the American version of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart, who played a couple of cooks in this film. Approx. ed.

An example of controversial positive manipulation

Remember the film "Girl" *, when the quarreled Tosya (Nadezhda Rumyantsev) and Ilya (Nikolay Rybnikov) do not talk for a long time with each other and have almost gone "on the principle." Friends adjust the situation when, during the construction of a house, Tosa has to drag a drawer with nails to the top floor, where Ilya works, because they are not enough "allegedly". As a result, the heroes are laid.

Why is this manipulation of controversial? In fact, reconciliation occurred not just because the heroes were encountered in one place through the efforts of friends. If you remember, at first, Tosya was very angry when, dragging up the drawer, I discovered Ilya there ... and still a whole drawer of nails. She was already going to leave when she clinged for something clothes and thought it he was holding her. Jumping out several times and shouting loudly: "Let them !!!" - She heard his laughter, understood her mistake and also began to laugh. As a result of this joint fun, reconciliation occurred. What would happen if Tosya did not catch anything? She could just leave or know, because of this box, they would only finally climb.

* "Girl" - a comedic feature film of 1961, filmed in the USSR by director Yuri Dulukin on the Tale of the B. Poor. Approx. ed.

Manipulation or game?

I have no time to care for me. You are attractive. I am damn attractive. What is in vain time to lose ... (from k / f "Ordinary miracle")

In addition to positive manipulations, there are such manipulations when both parties are interested in continuing the "game" and willingly participate in this process. Almost all of our relations are permeated by this kind of manipulations, which are most often unconscious. For example, following the idea that "a man must conquer a woman," a woman can kill and shy away from direct consent on a date.

An example of such a "game" communication is described in the film, "What men say" *. One of the characters complains to another: "But this question is" why ". When I tell her: "We went to me," and she: "Why?" What should I say? After all, I have no bowling house! Not a cinema! What should I say to her? "We went to me, one or two times we will make love, I will definitely be good, you can be ... And then you, of course, you can stay, but it's better that you left." After all, if I say, she will definitely not go. Although perfectly understands that we are for this and go. And I tell her: "I went to me, I have a wonderful collection of lute music of the XVI century." And this answer is completely satisfied! "

What receives a completely fair question of another character: "No, well, what, you would like to sleep with a woman was as simple as ... Well, I don't know ... Stringing a cigarette? .." - "No. I would not want ... "

Not in all cases, open and calm behavior, which includes an honest application for its purposes, can be as efficient as possible. Or, in any case, be pleasant to both parties to communications.

* "What men are talking about" - Russian Cinema of 2010, filmed in the genre of Road Mugvi by the Quartet and "theater and" based on the performance "Talk of middle-aged men about women, cinema and aluminum forks." Approx. ed.

Guidelines, also includes a huge number of manipulations. This is largely due to the fact that the head for his subordinates is associated with a dad or mom, and the mass of children's and parental aspects of interaction, manipulation, including. Basically, these processes occur at an unconscious level, and until they impede work efficiency, you can continue to interact at the same level. Therefore, it is important to the head to be able to counteract the manipulations from the subordinates. But it's not worth learning to manipulate. We are all so fine you can do it, just most often it happens unconsciously.

Since, managing the emotions of others, we do not always declare our goal ("Now I will calm you"), in some sense, of course, we can say that this is a manipulation. However, in many situations of the emotion management of others, their goal can be revealed directly ("I am here to reduce your concern about the upcoming changes" or "I want to help you feel better"); In addition, focusing on the principle of civilized influence, we act not only in our own interests, but also in the interests of the other. This is also the next principle.

The principle of making emotions of other people

The very recognition of the right of another person on emotions makes it possible to abstract from them and work with what is behind emotions. Understanding that emotion is a reaction to your action or inaction, makes it possible to manage any situation, while maintaining a constructive dialogue.

In the same way as in relation to their emotions, in order to effectively manage the emotions of other people, it is important for us to take the emotions of another person. Agree, it will be enough difficult to keep calm and help calm down to another when he is yelling on you if you are firmly confident that "I can never yell."

In order for you to make it easier to accept the emotional state of another person, it makes sense to remember two simple ideas:

1. If another person behaves "inadequately" (yelling, screaming, crying), it means that he is very bad now.

What do you think a person feel "very emotionally"? For example, yell? This is a rare case when we ask not about specific emotions, but about choosing from categories
"good or bad".

Yes, he feels great!

Indeed, it often seems to us that there are people in the world who enjoy when they are yelling (this, by the way, is very preventing us to constructively interact with aggressive individuals). Let's think about it. Remember yourself, those situations when you exploded, shouted to the surrounding people, spoke to someone offensive words. Did you feel good?

Most probably not. So why should another person be good?

And even if we assume that a person enjoys the scream and humiliation of others - is it good at all, what is called, "in life"? Hardly. Happy, completely satisfied, people do not break off on others.
Especially if he does not shout, but crying. Then it is obvious that he feels not very good.

A key idea that very often helps to interact with a person who is in a strong emotional state is to realize and accept the fact that he is bad. He is poor. It is difficult for him. Even if it looks frightened.

And since it is difficult for him and heavily - it stands to sympathize him. If it is possible to sincerely sympathize with the aggressor, the fear passes. It is difficult to fear a poor and unfortunate person.

2. Intention and action - different things. If a person hurts you with his behavior, it does not mean that he really wants it.

We have already discussed in detail this idea in the chapter about the awareness of the emotions of others. And yet now it will be worth it to remind her. It is much more difficult to perceive someone else's emotional state if we suspect another person that he "purposely" takes me out of himself.

Exercise "Making emotions of others"

To learn how to make the manifestations of the emotions of others, you will find out, in the manifestation of what emotions you refuse to other people. To do this, continue the following offers (referring to the manifestation of emotions by other people):

People can never be shown ...
You can not allow yourself ...
This is outrageous when ...
Indecent ...
I am infuriated when other people ...

See what you happened. Most likely, those emotions that you do not allow to show others, you do not really allow yourself. Perhaps it is worth looking for socially acceptable ways of manifestations of these emotions?

For example, if you are very annoying, when another person increases the voice, most likely, you yourself do not allow yourself to take advantage of this way of influence and pay a lot of strength to talk calmly with strong emotional tension. It is not surprising that people who allow themselves to act like that. Think about, maybe there are situations when you can consciously increase the voice, "put on them". When we allow yourself any behavior, it usually does not annoy us in other people.

Skeptic trainer training: That is, you suggest me now on everyone yelling and grogging as idiot over every joke?

Our offer to search for opportunities for socially acceptablemanifestations of emotions B. somesituations do not mean at all that you now need to discard any control and start behaving not very adequately. It is worthwhile to search for the situation in which you can experiment in the manifestation of emotions in a fairly safe atmosphere.

With regard to other people, it is worth reformulating their irrational installations by adding permission to these statements to the manifestation of emotions, and rewrite them, for example: "I don't like it when other people increase their voice, and at the same time I understand that sometimes other people can lose Over yourself control. " Such reformulations will help you feel more calm when a person next to you is quite violently showing his emotions, and therefore it will be easier for it to control his condition.

Typical errors when managing the emotions of others

1. The underestimation of the significance of emotion, an attempt to convince that the problem is not worth such emotions.

Typical phrases: "Yes, throw you, what to get upset, all this is nonsense," "You can't remember this in a year," "Yes, compared to Masha, you all in chocolate, what are you doing?", "Stop it, he This is not worth it, "" I would have your problems, "etc.

What reaction is such an assessment of the situation by another person? Irritation and insult, the feeling that "I don't understand me" (very often such an answer sounds: "Yes, you do not understand anything!"). Does such arguments contribute to a decrease in the emotional voltage of the partner? No no and one more time no!

When a person is experiencing strong emotions, no argument works (because it does not have logic at the moment). Even if, in your opinion, the difficulties of your interlocutor objectively do not go into any comparison with the torment of Masha, now it is not able to understand this.

"I have no reason to anything. Because I'm bad now! And no one in the world has never been so bad as I now! Therefore, any attempts to impress the importance of my problem will cause me the strongest resistance.
Maybe later, when I come to my senses, I agree that the problem was nonsense ... But it will be later when the ability to think to think about me. So far, I do not have it. "

2. Attempting to make a person immediately stop experiencing emotion (as an option, immediately give advice and offer a solution to the problem).

Typical phrases: "Well, stop the sour!", "Let's go hang out?", "Would you go somewhere, or something!", "What are you afraid of afraid?", "Yes, you will be nervous, it will only hurt you", " Are you so boiled? Please speak quietly, "etc.
When a man next to us feels "bad" (he is sad or he is very worried), what emotion are we experiencing?

We can get upset and angry, if someone is close to someone, but the most primary emotion is fear. "What will happen to him next? Will such a bad mood for a long time? How does it all threaten me? Or maybe I am guilty myself in his bad mood? Maybe his attitude to me changed? Maybe it doesn't like me in me? "

And if a person is experiencing strong emotions? For example, it screams very loudly or crying overwrite. What does the one feeling next to him feel? Again fear, sometimes even giving up to panic horror. "What should I do about it? Horrible! For a long time this is with him? I do not know what to do in such situations. I can't control this situation! And if it is worse? .. "

It is not so important what is the reason for this fear: most of us are afraid of manifestations of other people's emotions. And from fear, a person seeks to quickly get rid of. How to get rid of this fear? Remove the source of fear, that is, the most strange emotions. How to do it?

The first thing that unconsciously comes to mind, "let him stop doing it, then I will stop being afraid." And we begin in one form or another to call a person to "calm down" and become "joyful" or "calm." What for some reason does not help. Why? Even if another person understands that he is really worth doing something with his emotional state (which is quite rare), he does not realize his emotions and cannot come up with how to manage them, since he does not have logic. Now he needs most to be accepted with all his emotions. If we are trying to quickly calm him, a person understands that he is "straining" with his condition, and seeks to suppress him. If this happens often, in the future, a person will generally prefer to hide from us any of his "negative" emotions. And then we are surprised: "Why don't you tell me anything? .."

Another idea is to immediately solve his problem, then he will stop experiencing emotion, which hinders me so much. My logic works, now I will decide everything! Just for some reason, another person does not want to accept my recommendations. At least he cannot realize my ingenious ideas for the same reason - there is no logic. He can not solve the problem now. The most important thing for him now is his emotional state.

3. A person who has something happened is primarily important to speak and get support. After that, perhaps he is with your help aware of his emotions, uses any method of managing them ... It will be better, and he will find a solution to the problem.

But it's all then. First he is important to get your understanding.

Quadrant management of emotions of others

It is possible to distinguish methods operating on a decrease in emotion, which is inadequate to the situation (conditional and negative), and methods that allow you to cause or strengthen the desired emotional state (conditionally positive). Some of them can be applied directly during the situation (online methods), and part relates to strategic methods of working with mood background and psychological climate (offline methods).

If, when managing its emotions, people are more often interested in a decline in negative emotions, when it comes to managing the emotions of others, the need to call and strengthen the desired emotional state - after all, it is through this that it is carried out (it doesn't matter at work or in a friendly circle).

If you look at the right column, you will see in it possible possible management impacts to influence the emotional climate in the team. However, if you want to improve the emotional background not at work, but at home, we think you will not be much difficulty shifting a method from working situations to homemade. For example, you can form a command from your own family, and not just from employees.

	Online methods	Offline Methods
Reducing the intensity of the "negative" emotion	"Fire Masters". Assist else to realize your emotional state Use of express emotion management methods Management techniques of other people's situational emotions	"Create a fire prevention system" Formation of the Command Spirit and Conflict Management Constructive feedback Qualitative introduction of changes
Increased intensity of "positive" emotion	"I light the spark" Emotions infection Self-tuning rituals Motivating speech (Motivational Speech) "Drying duty"	"Support fire in the hearth" Maintaining a positive balance on an "emotional account" Creating a system of emotional motivation faith in praise employees Implementation of emotional competence in the organization

"Fire Masters" - Quick Methods for Reducing Alien Emotional Tension

If we can help another to realize our emotional state, its logic level will begin to return to the norm, and the voltage level is to decline. At the same time, it is important not to indicate another that it is in a strong emotional state (it can be perceived as an accusation), and how to remind him that there are emotions. To do this, you can take advantage of any verbal methods of understanding the emotions of others from the third chapter. Questions like "How are you feeling now?" Or empathic statements ("It seems you are now a little angry") can be used not only for the awareness of the emotions of others, but also to manage them.

Our sympathy and recognition of the emotions of the other, expressed in phrases: "Oh-oh, it was probably very disappointing" or "You are still angry with him, right?" - Allow to feel better to feel better. Much better than if we give "smart" tips. Such statements create a sense that he understands - and in a situation of strong emotions, it is possible most importantly.

It is especially important to learn how to recognize the emotions of another in business communication. If the client or partner complains to us on the problem, we are convulsively begin to think how to solve it. This, of course, is also important. Although at first it is better to say something like: "This is a very unpleasant situation," "You probably are very concerned about what happened" or "anyone for anyone will cause annoyance." Almost ever and from anyone, upset or scared client will not hear such words. And in vain. Because such statements, among other things, also make it possible to demonstrate to the client that it is for us - a person, and not someone impersonal. When we are as customers we demand a "human relationship", we want our emotions to recognize.

Use of express emotion management methods

If the level of other person's trust in relation to you is high enough and it is in the state when it is ready to listen to your recommendations, you can try on emotion management methods with it. It can only work if the cause of its emotional state is not you! It is clear that if he is angry with you, and you suggest it to breathe, hardly he will follow your recommendation. However, if he is angry with someone else, and you got involved to tell how it was, you can use familiar receptions to you. It is better to perform them together, for example, make a deep breath together and slow exhalation. Thus, we use the mirror neurons of the other, and the likelihood is that it will make what we show him. If you just say: "Breathe", a person most often automatically answered: "Yeah" - and will continue his story.

If it is not possible to tell him about it (for example, you keep a presentation together and see that your partner began to speak very quickly from excitement), then focus on your own breathing and start breathing more slowly ... even slower ... Unconsciously your partner (if you are close enough From him) will begin to do the same. Verified. Mirror neurons work.

Management techniques of other people's situational emotions

Hrank management

If too many people are chasing you, ask them in detail than they are upset, try to console all, give each advice, but to reduce the speed at all. (Grigory Oster, "Harmful Tips")

Aggression is a very energy-intensive emotion, no wonder after her splash, people often feel empty. Not getting an external feeding, aggression fades very quickly, just like the fire can not be lit if the firewood ended. Say anything like that? This is because people themselves noticing themselves, periodically throw firewood into the furnace. One non-accurate phrase, one extra movement - and the fire is happily flared up with fresh forces, having received new food. All our actions in the management of someone else's aggression can be divided into such "Hollows", inciting the fire of emotions, and "waterproofs", stewing it.

"Hollows" (that people often want to do, facing someone else's aggression, and that actually increases its level)	« Dummy » (which makes sense to do if you really want to reduce the level of someone else's aggression)
Cut, stop the accusation stream	Give spoke
To say: "Calm down," "What do you allow yourself?", "Stop talking to me in such a tone", "Will be decent", etc.	Use sense verbalization techniques
Increase tone in response, use aggressive or protective gestures	Keep on control non-verbal communication: talking, keeping calm intonation and gestures
Deny his guilt, object, explain that the partner in interaction is wrong; talk "no"	Find, with which you can agree, and do it; talk "yes"
Justify or promise immediately fix everything	Quietly agree that the unpleasant situation occurred without going into explanation of the reasons
Reduce the significance of the problem: "Yes, you leave, nothing terrible happened," "What are you so nervous?" etc.	Recognize the importance of the problem
Speak emphasized by a dry official tone	Show sympathy
Use response aggression: "And you yourself?!", Sarcasm	Once again to show sympathy

Please note what "brushes" is. These are techniques that work if you reallywant to reduce the level of someone else's aggression. There are situations when, facing someone else's aggression, people want something else: to take a partner in interaction, "revenge for something"; to express yourself "strong" (read "aggressive"); And finally, just deskand in his pleasure. Then please, with your attention - a list of the left column.

One of our familiar experienced a period of unpleasant dismissal from the company. In one of the last conversations with the head of the personnel department, she persistently reminded him of what rights poses under the law. The head cut off: "Do not be clever!" After some time, he answered one of her questions: "Do not Tupi!" Then it was emphasized by polite intonation and a cute smile she lost him in response: "Do I understand you correctly, do you propose not to be clever and not to dig at the same time? .." From what the head fell into full rage.

Here, as in most other cases of emotion management, the principle of goal setting enters into force. What do I want in this situation? What price do I pay for this? It is not always necessary to reduce the intensity of someone else's wrath: each of us probably came across situations when there is only one faithful way of reaction to frankly and unacted aggression - to show similar aggression in response.

In this section, we mean the situation when you are interested in keeping good relations with an interaction partner: it may be a close person, a client, a business partner or manager. Then it is important for you to translate your interaction on structural rails. This is promoted by the "brushes", each of which we will now consider separately. We will not consider "Hollows": we will not consider in detail: we believe everyone from readers is understandable and familiar, about what we are talking about.

"Do you want to talk about it?", Or the technique of "ZMK".

The main, basic and most important management technique of other people's negative emotions is to speak. What does "give to speak"? This means at that moment when you decide that a person already told you everything that could ... He spoke at best by a third. Therefore, in a situation where another person is experiencing strong emotion (not necessarily aggression, it can be a stormy joy), use the equipment of the CMT, which means: "shut up - silence - rush."

Why do we use such a rather sharp wording - "shut up"? The fact is that most people and in the usual situation are difficult to listen to all that another person wanted to say. At least just listen - not what to hear. And in a situation where another person do not just express his thought, but expresses it emotionally (or highlyemotionally), it's calmly listen to him almost anyone. People are usually afraid of the rapid manifestation of emotions from others and all methods strive to calm them or at least partially restrain the manifestation of emotions. And most often it is manifested in the interruption of another person. In the situation of aggression, this is aggravated by the fact that the person who is directed irritation is experiencing quite strong fear. It is normal and natural for any, especially if the aggression turned out to be sudden and unexpected (the partner did not gradually boil, but, let's say, immediately flew into the room already infuriated). This fear is forced to defend themselves, that is, immediately start justifying or explaining why the prosecutor is not right. Naturally, we begin to interrupt the other. It seems to us that now I will quickly explain why I am not guilty, and he will stop yelling at me.

At the same time, imagine a person who is very excited and which is also interrupted in addition. That is why we use the word "shut up", that is, make efforts - sometimes great efforts, - but let him tell everything he wants.

Skeptic trainer training: If I listen to him and silent, so he will shout until the morning!

Yes, it often seems to us that, if you silenced and give a person to talk and say, this process will continue infinitely. Especially if he is strongly angry. In this case, the opposite is happening: a man cannot be physically able to yell for a long time (if someone from the outside does not feed it with energy for aggression by his actions). If you give him a freely spelling and even at the same time listen to him, then after a few minutes it will exhale and start talking with a calm tone. Check out. We just need to silend a little.

So, the most important thing in the technique is laid in the first word. But it is important and last - "Zai" (there is another version of the technique of the Snake, namely: "Shut up - silence - Zai and" Ogukay "). From fear, we sometimes get silent like rabbits before the boat. We look at the aggressor with a non-moving look and do not move. Then he does not understand, we listen to him at all or not. Therefore, it is important not just to be silent, but actively show that we also listen very and very carefully.

According to Carrolow Isard, there are eleven basic emotions, and any others are their combination and modification, and arise on them. Below is a list of basic emotions. Basic Emotions on Isard:

1. Joy

2. Surprise

5. Disgust

6. Despite

7. Mount-suffering

9. Interest-excitement

Joy - refers to the number of main positive emotions of man. It is characterized by a sense of satisfaction, happiness and pleasure, and also considered to be positive internal motivation.

Physiological and external manifestations: Smile, desire to actively work, pronounced gesticulation, rapid heartbeat, striving for communication, good mood.

How to cause joy: in order to appear joy, you can think about something nice (about some kind of joyful event), reproduce pleasant memories in mind, chat with a person who has a good mood, to buy something about what It has long been dreamed of, in general, to do something that caused, causes or can cause you pleasant emotions.

Surprise

Surprise is the emotion that appears in the event of an unexpected situation. Speaking more scientific language, surprise can be called an adequate reaction to the deviation from the norm. Depending on the characteristics of the situation, surprise can go to fear, interest or joy.

Physiological and external manifestations: raised eyebrows, rounded eyes, open lips, in another case, the unfinished eyebrows, tilted forward head, with a strong surprise - crossing wrinkles.

How to cause surprise: the main way to cause surprise is to reproduce physiological manifestations. To simplify the task, you can mentally imagine something that could surprise you: some subject, a person, the situation. Simply put to surprise, you need to pretend that you are surprised.

The sadness is an emotion that occupies an intermediate position between longing, sadness and despondency, and can be inclined to one, then to another, then to the third. It occurs in the event of any distortion of the circumstances.

Physiological and external manifestations: reduced eyebrows and elevated inner part, stretched corners of the upper eyelids, lowered corners of the lips, vertical wrinkles between eyebrows, horizontal wrinkles in the center of the forehead, sometimes tears, passive behavior, the desire to stay alone with them.

How to call sadness: Call the sadness can be quite simple: To do this, you need to think about any sad, sad, tragic event in my life, try to feel what you felt when this event happened and try to stay in this state , I feel it as deeper as possible so that the emotion of sorrow showed its external signs.

Anger is an emotion with bright negative valence. Most often, the anger is caused by injustice towards a person and the desire to immediately eliminate this injustice.

Physiological and external manifestations: reduced and lowered eyebrows if the anger comes to the limit, then the outer side of the eyebrows swears up, narrowed or, on the contrary, wriggled eyes, tense eyelids, stressful and closed lips, in other cases it is possible to ruffled, stress muscles of the neck and chin , huge motivation to active actions, sometimes inadequate, the desire to influence the object of anger physically.

How to cause anger: Call an emotion of anger can be very simple: you need to think about something that causing you a frank feeling of protest and injustice, remember the conflict situation or a person (if there is such a thing, of course), whose actions cause you negative emotions. In the case of anger, the reproduction of physiological manifestations helps very well.

Disgust

Disgust represents a strong rejection form, a negatively painted feeling. It occurs in cases where a person faces something that he is very unpleasant with a moral, physical, aesthetic point of view.

Physiological and external manifestations: a strongly raised upper lip, raised or lowered, but scolding the lower lip, raised cheeks, narrowed eyes and a little lowered eyebrows, wrinkles from the bridges, the desire to turn away, dismiss, move away.

How to cause disgust: Call anything very easily, if you try to present something very unpleasant in your imagination in your imagination: any objects, situations, manifestations and behavior of people, smells, tastes, pictures, etc. Easy to express emotion of disgust, simply reproducing the external manifestations. Most likely, the necessary internal experiences will have themselves.

Contempt

Despite is a negatively painted feeling that arises in relation to any object that manifests the behavior or quality that the person who has a disgust itself does not allow itself to demonstrate and which seem to be extremely unacceptable. Often, disgust is associated with a sense of superiority of one person over the other and can go into anger and even in hatred.

Physiological and external manifestations: Symptoms are similar to signs of disgust, but there are no symmetry in them, stressful corners of the lips, closed lips, naught forward and / or raised chin, the desire to express their negative attitude, indicate the wrongness.

How to cause contempt: cause contempt a little more complicated than the above emotions, but, of course, you can. For this, it is best as early as before, to recreate the image of any person, the behavior or quality of which cause you negative emotions, and which you yourself do not allow yourself. For this purpose, images of people who make low, false deeds are perfectly suitable.

Mount-suffering

Mountain is a negatively colored emotion associated with a loss feeling. Often synonymous grief are grief and sadness. The suffering, in turn, is a combination of very unpleasant and painful physical or emotional sensations.

Physiological and external signs: the raised inner side of the eyebrows, launched eyebrows, lowered corners of the lips, wrinkles on the forehead, in other cases - closed jaws, grin, folded or lowered head, compressed fists, stressful body, tears.

How to cause grief-suffering: because This emotion is very strong, it is quite simple to call it: first, you can reproduce external manifestations, secondly, to imagine any physical pain, thirdly, you can recreate a very tragic situation from your life in the imagination (the life of another person ) And plunge into the experiences experienced in connection with this.

Shame is an emotion with a negative color, associated with some unacceptable hidden or obvious act or the quality of the person himself, who is experiencing shame, or with another person, for whom he becomes ashamed.

Physiological and Exterior Signs: Catching, desire to stay alone, sought moving, passivity or desire to escape, feeling guilt, stressful breathing, lowered eyes, wrinkles on the forehead, compressed lips, redness of the face as a consequence of a rich inflow to him.

How to call shame: To cause the emotion of shame, it is enough to imagine that you have committed something very bad or obscene and everyone who is near, they learned about it. It is very good to feel shame allows you to represent yourself naked on the ferris of a large number of people who laugh at you. It is also easy to reproduce this emotion, if you reflect its physiological signs.

Interest-excitement

Interest is an emotion with positive color. The interest is connected, mainly, with the need to learn something new about any object, and high attention to it. The excitement in this context can be called a set of internal experiences associated with anything.

Physiological and external signs: a little crumpled forehead and slightly shifted eyebrows, often rapid heartbeat and breath, closed or, on the contrary, a little-pitched lips, the desire to possess, the desire for physical contact, a close look, an increased concentration on the object of interest, in case of strong unrest - Increased sweating, trembling in the limbs, stuttering, biting.

How to cause interest-excitement: to appeal to the emotion of interest quite simple: you can imagine that you really want to learn more about a person with whom you are near, or about some subject, situations, event, phenomenon, reproduce physiological signs of interest Think about what is interesting to talk about it, collect the necessary information, etc. If you need to cause an excitement, then you can think about some important upcoming event, or about the one that has already happened, but to imagine in that condition in which you were still before.

Wines is an emotion with a negative color, which arises due to the commission of a certain act, which seems to be a negative person for him or other consequences. Most often, a person appears in relation to something made specifically to them, which distinguishes the emotion of guilt from the emotion of shame.

Physiological and external signs: lowered or running on the sides, lowered head, deep breathing, the desire to stay alone with himself, the appearance of a blush on his face, a trembling voice, sometimes - backward chin and a scornful look, but the reluctance to meet with others.

How to cause a guilt: a person may cause a feeling of guilt, firstly, if it presents that he made any act that will cause the sufferings of other people or himself. Secondly, if accuracy reproduces the physiological signs of the emotion of guilt. You can also recall something from the past, for which I felt guilty: some actions, said words, performed actions. The emotion of guilt is closely related to the emotion of shame, therefore, you can resort to methods that allow you to cause this emotion.

More: https://4brain.ru/akterskoe-masterstvo/emotions.php.