Broke out forever consciously but then they agreed. Re-marriage after a divorce, about pairs that parted, and then converge again. The French come into battle

From love to hatred - one step, wheezing is easier than creating. These two truths are not better characterized by pairs that part under the influence of emotions, and then converge again. Someone very quickly realizes that he lost the love of all his life, and some illumination visits twenty twenty, and even fifty years.

But how much time has passed since the parting and which served as a reason for the divorce, it does not matter. And, as practice shows, no new family, nor children from other marriages reunite also interfere. You can resume any relationship, however, that the second attempt was copped by Happy Endom, both will have to make maximum effort.

Typical stories after divorce

Spouses, who, after the divorce, decide to unite again, can be divided into five categories.

First Spouses fall, and failed to survive parting. Psychologists in this case are talking about unfinished emotional relations. After the divorce, such partners continue to think about each other, actively communicate, even if negative feelings are shrinking and both have already entered the new union. The idea of \u200b\u200breunion often comes to them, because the hope of a happy future in the depths of the soul they remain.

Second group Building relationships based on the infantile position. In the first marriage, such spouses usually cultivate two principles: "take, but not to give" or "I must all."

Third category distinguished by the struggle for power. Entering into marriage, each of the partners seeks to prove that he is the main one. This position can also be called infantile, only on top of it imposes a model of dysfunctional marital relations, which they inherit from parental families. When both partners grow up, that is, they learn to "give", take responsibility for their behavior, do not fight, but to cooperate, many have a desire to try with the previous chosen one in a new way.

Fourth category It decides to return everything because of the fear of loneliness after the divorce. Women reasonably reason: "Life passes, the princes disassembled, it's better with him than one." In men, another argument: "Every next worse than the previous one."

Divorces in 30 years

The desire to break up, forever or only for a while, usually arises in the iconic periods of life, which, in particular, belongs age crises. The most dramatic of them falls for 30 years. At this turn, divorces occur particularly often.

Having lived together for a while, the spouses gave dissatisfaction with each other and at some point they understand: it can not continue to continue. But they are not strong on this: there is still all life, reproductive abilities at the height and there are all the chances of creating a new family.

However, trying to tie a new relationship, many thirty years reveal that all the disadvantages have all, with some faders they cannot accept. Then may have the idea that the former spouse or spouse was not so bad.

In addition, in 30 years, the reassessment of values \u200b\u200btakes place against the background of final separation from parents. Early marriages are sometimes committed in the sake of eating mother with dad. And at 30, a person is already able to accept an independent decision and determine exactly, he wants to be with the current partner or is ready to part with it.

Divorces of 40 and 50 years

The second peak of divorces falls on a crisis of 40 or 50 years. The relationship between spouses during this period is often deteriorating, because the regulatory crisis of a family is usually located on the age crisis, which is otherwise called the syndrome of the empty nest.

Children grow up and, depending on the age, there are someone who goes to: Some are going to study in another city, others begin to live separately or actively communicate with friends, others will give their family. Parents also remain one on each other.

If until this point the partners did not get along, did not support the marital relations, only parental functions were performed, they would not talk about. And here and to the treason hand to file. But if, stuck, both partners understand that in the ADULTER, both of them are to blame, many couples converge again.

Is it possible to restore the relationship after the divorce?

Alas, not everyone can fix the previous errors, and in some cases the second attempt knowfully doomed to failure. However, you can estimate the chances of success in advance.

To begin with, both spouses should honestly answer the question: for which everyone wants to return. If they manage the fear of loneliness, nostalgia for old good times, the annoyance that no one has yet found it, or hope - the partner has become different, the forecast will be unfavorable.

Nothing good, as a rule, does not work if the spouses are deciding to get together to "make it" to make it possible to "make a" one to make "a child. Children always feel insincere emotions and suffering that are hidden behind them, and in the future, when creating their families, the same unhealthy scenarios are reproduced.

But if the former spouses understand that in their stupidity or inexperience they lost a truly expensive person with whom they wanted to live all their lives, such a reason for the second attempt would be perfect. At the same time, both partners must dream of reunion, because forcibly milked will not be.

The probability of Happy-End is noticeably increased if the relationship has a qualitatively different ratio on a new twist. For example, if the spouses used to live in a civil marriage or from parents, and now decide to officially issue their union or rent an apartment. Or if they broke up, because someone did not want children, but now both are ready to become parents.

And finally, another faithful sign that everything will probably turn out - when the "we" pronoun remaining in thoughts or words, "we will cope", "we will succeed," "And why don't we try again?"

How to start everything from scratch

Start from scratch - just in words. Log in to the same river really impossible.

If both partners do not learn to negotiate, do not refuse manipulations and do not analyze the moments that the first time led to the rupture, the old problems sooner or later will be guaranteed to emerge on bis. So that this does not happen, it is better to refer to reunion as serious as possible.

For the beginning, the spouses should take part of the responsibility for the unsuccessful first attempt, want to change themselves, and not a partner, learn new ways to interact.

To both partners are necessary to think together and speak, which was not the same last time. You need to go through all the items that did not like, irritated, became the reason for the quarrel. The goal is not to find the guilty, but to understand that now they want to live quite differently. Then each item will have to find a compromise.

If you agree difficult, it is worth trying an exercise called the "deal". On the paper sheet, the spouses write a list of their expectations from the second half. Then take turns discuss all points to find out what they are ready to go, and what - no. The transaction will concern those moments that are meaningful for each of them principled. As a result, the wife will do what is unpleasant to her, but it becomes important for her husband, and he will be able to do what I don't like it, but it needs it.

It is necessary to discuss in the smallest details, as partners will live after reunification. In which apartment they justify, how much will stand on Saturday, whether they will have breakfast together, as they will spend their free time and will be divided by household responsibilities who will led the child in kindergarten and sports school, etc.

The key condition for peace and consent in the new life is not to remember the old resentment. Parting evening with negative experience will help break up with the past. Let each of the partners, in turn, will express everything that he wounded, talked, frustrated. While one is negative, the second must patiently listen, not interrupting and not justifying. When monologues are pronounced, both spouses must give each other the Word that no one will remember the old resentment.

If the cause of separation has become treason, it is important to restore the trust between the spouses. The stupid partner should help the affected side and to become more accessible and open for several months. For example, he can refuse travel, start inviting the second half to all parties, will agree to respond to video calls.

And Brooklyn Beckham Brooklyn Beckham and Chloe Grace Market Chloe Gray Makers and Brooklyn Beckham Demi Lovato and Wilmer Walderram Wilmer Walderram and Demi Lovato Wilmer Walderrama and Demi Lovato Orlando Bloom Katy Perry Katy Perry Behacy Princel and Adam Levin Adam Levin and Behacy Prince Adam Levin and Behacy Princel with daughter Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel Justin Timberlake and Jessica Bail Justin Timberlake and Jessica Bail Rose Leslie and Keith Harington Rose Leslie and Keith Harington Keith Harington and Rose Leslie Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth met on the filming of the film "Last Song" in 2009. The friendly relations of the rebar and a cute guy quickly turned into romantic, and three years later the couple announced the engagement. Before the wedding, then it did not come. Lovers broke up in 2013, explaining that they were still too young and moved in different directions. Fans of the couple did not lose hope for their reunification, and in 2016, Miley and Liam again agreed. Probably, the meaning of the saying "Happiness love silence," Cyrus and Hemsworth became less likely to get into the world together and share the details of the novel in social networks. At the beginning of this year, information appeared in the media that the lovers were secretly married, but they did not give any comments. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Story of Love Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber began eight years ago. For all the time that the couple was together, they diverged, they converged again. As a result, four years later, such unstable relations, they decided to finally part. After that, Justin was looking for consolation in the company of beauty models, and Selena spun a novel with The Weeknd. Their relationship could absolutely grow into something serious, because the musician planned to make a beloved sentence. However, unexpectedly, Gomez broke up with The Weeknd, and the day after this paparazzi caught her and Justin during a daytime. Since then, lovers are together again, despite the fact that their native singers are clearly against their union, especially Mom Selena. It is because of the fact that it is unhappy with the relationship between her daughter, the couple decided, on rumors, to break up. But this is not a final gap. Chloe Grace Marc and Brooklyn Beckham Perhaps one of the most cute couple Hollywood Chloe Mapet and Brooklyn Beckham passed a difficult path in order to understand that they were destined to be together. When they began to meet, Brooklyna was only 15 years old, and Chloe - 17. They lived on two countries - America and the United Kingdom, and this negatively affected their relationships. In addition, they constantly watched the paparazzi, which only aggravated the situation. All this led to parting. But not for long. A year later, Beckham Jr. went to study in New York, where his marine lives. The lovers decided to start all over again and now enjoy each other, do not hesitate to show their feelings to fans. - wrote Chloe in his Instagram. The singer Demi Lovato and the actor Wilmer Walderram also experienced their relationships on strength. They began to meet in 2011, and four years later rumors appeared in the media that lovers plan to tie themselves to marriage. Before the wedding, unfortunately, it did not come. The couple broke up, as he personally told his fans by publishing a long post in Instagram. - They wrote. However, last month, Paparazzi found ex-lovers for lunch in Los Angeles. Since then, the fans of the couples are confident: Demi and Wilmer gave their relationship another chance. Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom met at the Golden Globe's After Party in 2016, and after a couple of weeks they began to meet. Their relationship developed more than rapidly. They traveled a lot, went to secular events together and conducted family holidays, and Bloom even introduced Perry with his son Flynn. However, a year later, the lovers broke up, which decided to inform about all. - they said. Friendly relationships and communication led to Katie and Orlando again agreed in January of this year. Paparazzi caught them during a romantic holiday in Maldives, and after caught on a walk in Prague. Lovers themselves have not yet commented on their own. Adam Levin and Behadi Princela Soloist Group Maroon 5 Adam Levin met his true love, Supermodel Behacy Princel in 2012. However, in order to finally understand that it is really the most, the musician required for a while. In 2013, the couple broke up, and Levin twisted the novel with another model of Nina Agdal. But this relationship did not lead to anything, because Adam realized that his heart fully belongs only to the prison. The musician returned to the lover, they got married, and a year later, they had a daughter's daughter. So who really seriously worked on their relationships, so it is Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green. They began to meet in 2004, and in 2007 the actor made a favorite offer. Megan agreed, but after some time he changed his mind, as he considered himself too young for marriage, because she was 21 years old. Fox and Green broke up, but soon they agreed again. In 2010, Brian decided to try her happiness again and made megan offer for the second time, and she answered yes. Five years later, the marriage and two children actress suddenly filed a divorce that became an absolute surprise for everyone. But the breaking of the relationship was to avoid. As it turned out later, Fox became pregnant, so the spouses decided in order to save marriage, and they, fortunately, succeeded. - stated before Brian. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Bill Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beil met at the Golden Globe Award in 2007. As lovers themselves admitted, there was nothing "star" in their meeting, they just met and talked like ordinary people. Justin and Jessica tried to hide their relationships, but it did not work well, so they decided to officially declare themselves a couple and began to go into the world together. However, four years later, their ideal relationships were already literally hung on the balance. There were rumors that the Timberlake had an affair with the actress of Olivia Mann, but it was not confirmed. Ultimately, the couple broke up. Fortunately for a couple of months. Jessica and Justin again met at one of the charitable evenings, and a year later, they were secretly married. Now the spouses will grow up the two-year-old son Silas Randal. Keith Harington and Rose Leslie Kit Harington and Rose Leslie met while working on the series "Game of Thrones". They played a couple in love. Romantic relations on the screen have grown far beyond the shooting area. Kit and Rose began to meet in 2012, but a year later parted. But on this, their history did not end. The couple again resumed the relationship in 2014 and again broke up a couple of months later. In 2016, Paparazzi found ex-lovers for dinner in one of London's restaurants, and after it became known that they were together again. In September last year, KIT and Rose announced the engagement. Subscribe to WMJ.ru pages in VKontakte, Odnoklassniki, Facebook, Instagram and Telegram! Text: Valeria Yakovlev Photo: Global Look Press, East News

In the autumn of 1941, during the defense of Moscow, the Russians and the French again agreed in the battle on the Borodino field. During the offensive, the German command decided to use the Russian 638 infantry regiment against the Russians, which consisted of French volunteers. Before the start of the battle, the French reminded the great past of their country and that their ancestors had to fight with Russian barbarians.

Mozhaisk Line Defense

To protect Moscow, the Mozhaisk Rubbroke of Defense was created from the Coming Germans, and the 32nd Rifle Division took the 32nd Rifle Division near the Borodino Borodino Battle Plant. The division was personnel, participated in the battles on Halkin-goal, commanded them Colonel Victor Polosukhin.

Division, enhanced by the division of fighters of tanks, a warm and artillery shelves, took the front with a length of 45 kilometers. The latter circumstance complicated the defensive task. The battle began on October 12 from intelligence a fight, during which the Germans lost 6 tanks and several infantry killed.

Siberian Character against German

On October 13, 1941, the 10-tank and motorized SS Division "Reich" went to the offensive at Borodino station. From October 14 to October 16, the battles were held in the heart of the Borodino field, as well as in the nearest villages. The memories of these days left the German Schedule Paul Karel. He wrote that on the Borodino field, the Germans first encountered Siberians, high broad-sized soldiers, dressed in overcoats, fur caps and boots. They fought steadfastly and never amented in a panic.

Each block of land of Siberians passed only after the desperate confrontation. Due to the fierce resistance of Russian soldiers of both sides, literally animals, and their battle resembled hell on Earth. He especially noted Karel Soviet 76-mm guns, which showed themselves as an effective weapon against infantry and tanks.

The French come into battle

In the second echelon, the 7th Infantry Division of the Bavarians, which and strengthened the 638th infantry regiment was adopted. Arriving near Smolensk in early November, the French even before the fighting lost 400 people with patients and frostbite. Before attacking the French, Field Marshal, who reminded them with a speech, who reminded them that it was in this place of their ancestors headed by Napoleon in a fight with the Russians and now they came to beat them.

Although French volunteers have passed before entering into battle, they did not meet the hopes of command. Strong frost and a blizzard demoralized the French happily to the warmth, and the desperate attack of Siberians tried to defeat. For several hours of battle, the regiment lost 65 people and 120 wounded.

The German headquarters concluded the low combat qualities of French legionnaires. If the ordinary and sergeant composition was still suitable for something, then the highest French officers showed complete incompetence on the battlefield. For hostilities against the USSR army, they did not fit, so the 638th French regiment was sent to the rear. After the configuration, new personnel and additional training of the unit were used against partisans and for punitive operations in the villages of Belarus and Ukraine.

On October 18, 1941, the Germans still broke through the defenses of the 32nd Division and took control of Mozhaisk. Siberians retreated, but fulfilled the mission entrusted to them: they restrained the enemy for a week, which gave the opportunity to the Soviet command to pull out the reserves and strengthen the main defense line.

"Sex in the big city" is a series that has already become a classic stories about modern relationships, "pronounced us, as it happens. Kerry once again returned to the man of his dreams, Miranda fell in love with his father's father, Samantha has come across a rod of Richard more than once ... and it doesn't look like fiction at all. In life, we are often trying to build relationships with those who once broke up.

"I broke up with him because I wanted a serious relationship, and he was not ready- Tells K., not when familiar with such a living scheme. - Then he panicked and tried to return me. I decided that now we are on the same wave. But he felt that he had made a mistake. I understood it and left. So happened once over and stretched for many years. "

And this case is not unique. Researchers argue that 44% of young people aged 17-24 reunited with those who were first met, but parted. Half of them had close relationship with former partners after parting.

On average, people who are together, then turn, have time to disperse and come together with each other twice a year.

Popular

Dr. Sarah Halpern-Mikin, Professor of the University of Wisconsin, believes that this is a unique phenomenon of our time: never before such a form of relationships was so common. Representatives of the generation of our parents or grandparents, as a rule, if they parted - they parted forever.

Why did everything change?

First, it assumes a professor, Because our contemporaries are waiting for longer before making marriage. And they have more time on throwing: they broke up.
Secondly, we have fewer stereotypes. We do not have a powerful idea that there should be specifics in the relationship: or you together, or not.
Besides, In modern culture, the attitude towards accidental sex is much more tolerant, and there is nothing strange and unusual in order to be in bed with a former beloved. This "friendship sex" often leads to the fact that the second (third, fourth) round begins in the relationship.
And also - social networks.If you are not sfinendile him on Facebook, in contact and classmates, you will all the time you get reminders of its existence. You do not need to gather with the Spirit and write it the ink message, which obliges a lot. Enough to send a short "hello! How are you? ", Which, it seems, nothing and does not mean, but in the end it can become the beginning of a new turn.

"The result is a generation that does not know how to part", "concludes Dr. Halpern-Mikin.

Broke up, drank, recalled. Romance…

And this stamp willingly support modern mass culture, lifting endless meeting-parting of a smack of romance. The aforementioned "Sex in the Big City", "Anatomy of Passion" (doctors of Meredith and Derek and other couples), Ross and Rachel from "Friends" ...

There is no "swing" in relationships - no plot. Without this, just uninteresting. For a happy couple bored observed. As a result, many becomes boring to be a happy pair without takeoffs and falls. All this gamma emotions, experienced during parting and reconciliation, is much sharper than normal, stable love.

Together closely, apart - boring

The couples themselves who are experiencing such deductions say that there is a deep emotional connection between them, which again and again pushes them into the arms of each other in advance of all adversity:

"We parted, because he was not ready to take on any obligations, but again converged, because no one understands us as we understand each other."

You are my roof ...

There is a romantic attachment to a former partner and quite a physiological explanation. In Canada, such an experiment was carried out. Professor Jim Pfaus marked the rats of rats with a special odorous substance and crossed them with females. Then he placed his female in the cage, in which there were those rats of the Cavalers with whom they had already love, and new, unfamiliar guys-rat. In different cells from 80 to 100%, rats chose those males from which it smelled.

Pfaus explains it like this: "When you have achieved with someone beautiful, the magical state, which happens after orgasm, your brain produces oxytocin and opioids," forming attachment to the person with whom you have experienced. Again to feel the same pleasure with those who already know, it seems something much more natural (and less terrible) than with someone unfamiliar.

As admitted G., who broke up with her more sophisticated beloved, but continued to sleep with him, it was more convenient than to look for someone new, and better than to be alone.

"I am psychologically comfortable to communicate with that man with whom I have already slept. And I do not want to increase the number of lovers who had me, - she says. - I am not a sacrament, but if I have a choice, I will rather try to stay with whom I was already to sleep with a stranger. "

Random ties in general have become unfounded. According to statistics, only 13% of men and 10% of women admitted that they had sex with those with whom they just got acquainted. But those who slept with former lovers - as much as 65%.

You are my heroin

Finally, terminate such relationships, according to the recognition of their participants, is as difficult as to tie with drugs. They get rid of them. You parted with your eternal "former", create a newcomer profile on a dating site, you appoint a date that is not quite as you like ... And then you wake up in a well-known bed.

The feeling that you can not go anywhere from him, can cause frustration and depression. In addition to the strongest emotional attachment, which was mentioned above, conflicts occur more often in such pairs, and below the level of mutual obligations, and at the same time the likelihood of physical and psychological violence is high.

We understand that it is impossible to do the same things once again and get different results. "I approve of the sequels in a relationship, but I am against if they turn into trilogy and so on," says Klinic psychologist Monica O'Neill from Harvard Medical School. Because perfectly, if people made conclusions from previous mistakes and decided to try again, trying not to repeat old sins. But if you again experienced pain and disappointment, it is a sign that this person does not suit you.