How to talk correctly - the secrets of good tone. How to learn to communicate with people: specialist advice

The world is so arranged that some people say too much, not silent for a second, while others in society cannot squeeze out words. What is it connected with? Inability to express your thoughts, to keep the conversation and conquer the interlocutors, the syllable fibration depends primarily from the complexity and insecurity, and not from the lack of a mind, as many consider. However, continue to close in yourself, soothing the soul doubtful "I do not like to communicate with people and I will not!" No way. Even the erudites with a rich inner world who have read no one hundred books and distinguished by non-light intelligence may experience difficulties in communicating.

Word is one of the strongest guns

The ability to communicate and affect people by the power of the word is considered the gold quality of a modern person. Without properly built phrases, you will not be able to conclude a contract, to speak with a banal wedding congratulation, to conquer the heart of the girl, not to mention the fact that many promising professions will be unavailable for you. Initially there was a word, and it will always be.

"Every thought, pronounced by the words, is the force whose action is infinitely." These are the words of L. N. Tolstoy, once again proving that it is necessary to learn and be able to communicate with people. People who know how to virtuosively handle the word - general pets, all the doors are open to them, they are much easier to build a career and achieve their goal. Their secret is that they know how to communicate with people know where, when and what to say, where to keep silent, and where to argue. At the same time, they do not have any extrasensory abilities and developed intuition. The art of communication will be able to master everyone - there would be a desire.

Secrets of a fruitful conversation

The basic principle of communication with people is based on the mirror rule: "As you are to others and they are to you." Your rude will cause a response negative reaction, the inattention will be paid for the same coin, and a sharp gesture, a dismissed speech and the habit of interpretation will make you one of the most unpleasant interlocutors.

So how to communicate with people right? The most important components of the correct conversation are:

politeness;
interest;
interest;
attention;
moderate gesticulation;
leisure and calm speech;
sensitivity and responsiveness;
the ability to listen.

As you can see, nothing supernatural! No need to memorize anecdotes and long tiras, there is no need to show tricks so that you are appreciated, only elementary politeness - and the interlocutor is favorable to you!

Consider 10 basic communication rules, weighing which you will become one of the most pleasant interlocutors.

The smile is another secret weapon from the arsenal of the funds beneficially affecting people. After all, who will like to talk with a man, on whose face was frozen a lifeless expression? The same can be said about a person who is constantly smiling - it can take it for abnormal. The main thing in the conversation is to observe the balance. Politely smile from time to time, but do not laugh in the nefple, especially at the moment when you are talking about your problems, but also not to laugh through power - deleted laughter is noticeable for the mile.

When communicating, try to watch the interlocutor in the eyes, continuing to keep polite interest on your face, even if the topic of the conversation is not at all interesting to you. People do not like those who look at the floor or to the side - this says either about the unscrupulousness of the interlocutor, or about his bad upbringing. Observe these two rules, and soon the problem is how to communicate with people will be irrelevant for you.

Moderate gesture

In the psychology of communication, along with a smile, gesticulation is equally important. Try not to do during the conversation of sharp movements and do not fuss, creating the impression of a nervous person. And even more so do not knock the mobile phone on the table, do not drum your fingers, do not look at yourself in the mirror and do not paint your lips. The interlocutor, at best, considers you that you are bored, and at worst - it will make an opinion about you as an uncompatient and unacceptable person.

All people without exception welcome non-arc, soft gestures, open poses (no hands crossed on his chest) and palm. At the same time, follow the widespread method of "cleaning": imperceptibly repeat the gestures of the interlocutor and set up in its position. The method operates trouble-free - a person on the subconscious level will feel some unity with you, and then sympathy.

I do not know how to communicate with people, or how to tie a conversation

There were such situations with you when you just need to start a conversation, but you did not know how to put him the beginning, from what words and what topic? In such cases, choose any universal and secular topics, such as weather, news, work surrounding people, cars. If you are aware of the interests and hobbies of the interlocutor, the best move is to ask him a question from this sphere, and then ask you to enlighten you. Communication will be provided to you!

If you are in a unconscious society, it is better not to join the conversation until they penetrate the "overall spirit" and do not understand what people are interested. For this, just listen carefully to each speaker. Your position of the listener, in combination with the metro directed clarifying remarks, will be appreciated, because everyone loves to say, but only units can listen to listen.

Do not interrupt

This is perhaps the main principle of any conversation on which the ability to communicate with people is built. Unnecessary replicas, translating a conversation to his own person, impatient, not the desire to listen, and the desire to speak, at the same time brazenly interrupting the speaker will not be pleasant to anyone. Such behavior will soon cut the circle of your communication, for egoism, dominance and lack of sensitivity in the conversation characterize you as an extremely unpleasant interlocutor.

The ability to listen - that's what you need

Specify the right questions

However, it is silent to listen to the interlocutor, having a word for his entire monologue, do not pronounce a word, is also not the best option. Ask him from time to time questions, showing my interest and giving it to understand that you like to talk to him and listen to him. Try not to overdo it with questions, otherwise the conversation smoothly flies into the interrogation framework. Those who are difficult to communicate with people can be started to fight complexes from this method. At the same time, questions may be approximately such: "Yes? Is it really? And what happened then? Yah! Is it true? Yes you? What's next?" At the same time, it is not recommended in the conversation:

criticize the profession of the interlocutor;
unceremoniously interested in his income;
confuse his name;
download it with your problems;
show excessive familiarity (clap on the shoulder, shake, grab the buttons, etc.);

join the dispute;
to the whole view to show your superiority.
to hold on arrogantly and arrogantly, according to the principle "I do not communicate with anyone, but it fell to you (LA), so be happy";
do not recognize your wrong, although it is obvious.

Try to communicate with everyone benevolently, politely, avoiding slang and Panibrate relations. Do not complain to everyone in a row to your unfortunate destiny, low-paid work, a despotic chief, traitors' friends. You will be listened to one, the second time, but the third will be avoided, since you have a bad habit of sow negative. If you are open, optimistic and responsive to communication - you will open the doors to any society.

Control the negative emotions

How to learn to communicate with people and tie up long acquaintances? To do this, first of all, you should work on yourself, above the qualities of the nature that prevent you from locating people.

The ability to communicate with people is a special kind of art, over which you also need to work. This means that a person should be able to recognize his mistakes and try not to allow them in the future, as well as control negative emotions.

Expand the horizons

So that you are in the eyes of people not only the usual listener, but also a person with whom it is pleasant and interesting to talk, actively expand your horizons. Read books, interest news, events, people. Agree, with an erudite interlocutor, the conversation is much more interesting than with a person who cannot associate two words. Not only the rules of behavior are important for the fruitful and exciting conversation, but what you can give the second side will be able to understand your interlocutor and support the conversation on this or that topic. After all, a comprehensively developed person knows how to communicate with people, it is able to quickly adapt to the conversation and quickly finds a common language with people.

Speak clearly and clearly

To learn to communicate - communicate!

Many people, experiencing awkwardness and embarrassment when talking, try not to talk with anyone, thereby further exacerbating their position. Man avoiding communication will never be a good interlocutor! You will learn to lead a relaxed conversation only in case of active communication. Throw your complex "I'm afraid to communicate with people" and start talking. No one demands from you a fiery speech of the leader, exciting the story of a speaker, who repulses the monologue of the advertiser, you can first just ask questions, talk to familiar topics and listen. Remember, the more you communicate, the faster you will know the basics of communication. At the same time, it is not necessary to complicate your life with reading literature on this topic, it looks for hundreds of sources on the Internet and carefully prepare every word. You just need to communicate, regularly training skills with different people.

Speak with sellers in the market, in a supermarket and boutiques, communicate with colleagues and acquaintances. Each conversation, every new meeting will become a brick in your experience and will help improve self-confidence. Write your monologue on the video and watch the facial expressions, gestures, speech. You will immediately become clear, than to work on what should be done, and what is your advantage. Train and remember that the word power is large, multifaceted and is able to provide a powerful impact on your life.

We hope that we gave comprehensive answers to the question of how to learn to communicate with people.

What prevents us easily and just communicate with people - to talk, maintain contact? After all, speaking is one of the most important human abilities.

Many reasons can be called, among which the most popular:

Shyness,
- fear say nonsense,
- Far of being incomprehensible,
- unwillingness to express their opinion -

and many other excuses hiding the psychological problem of communication. How to communicate with people so that this process brings joy how to reveal the secret of the ability to talk and negotiate.

Why it does not work correctly talk to people

The ability to communicate with people is required daily. Thanks to the ability to speak, we can convey our thoughts, make friends, admitted to love, to seek career growth and keep confidently in any life situation. The whole life of a modern person consists of intersections with other people, and communication skills are simply necessary.

But what if the conversation does not work? Fear, closure, dislike, uncertainty - all this does not make it possible to find a common language with the interlocutor. System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan helps to solve the secret of effective communication.

Communicative interaction is actions to transfer and obtain information between people. It seems that everything is simple and understandable. But for some reason fails, and a person cannot easily perform these themes. Causes lie in his psyche, which determines thoughts, hidden motifs, priorities. Regardless of education or age, the psychology of communication is closely connected with the set of desires and values \u200b\u200bof a particular person called vectors.

Rules of Psychology Communication: For whom it is important

For the owner of the anal vector, the problem will be a fear of becoming disgraced, say something wrong, the nefple. Excellent memory and ability to analyze past events carefully retain all past missions and errors in his thoughts.

An innate tendency to perfectionism and attention to detail makes it constantly scroll through a different set of interview options in the head, think over the next word. Therefore, the speech is slow, burdened by many details, often unnecessary companion. If it is interrupted during a conversation or make it faster, he can go into a stupor and lose the thread of the conversation.

The tendency to generalize bad personal experience instead of productive use of its analytical abilities in professional activity inevitably leads to fear of communication. And even if such a person begins to attend training on communicating with people, the problems will most likely remain. The set of rules and recommendations received there shows how to work on a consequence, but will not be able to remove the cause of uncertainty and difficulties in communication.

And this is the main thing - to realize the causes of your fears and problems. It is like a medical diagnosis. When it is precisely put and determined the cause of the disease - it can be cured. Knowing how the psyche works works, its properties can be used to benefit others and for joy.

It is terrible to communicate with people: how to overcome yourself

And if it is scary not only to communicate, but even live? A huge emotional amplitude of the winner vector playing with him sometimes evil jokes. The range of emotions from endless happiness to the same limitless grief and longing. A stunningly rich imagination throws up fantastic plots with disasters, murders and innumerable troubles.

It is in people with a visual vector there are strongest fears, panic attacks and anxiety.

An innate fear of death is the root emotion, as the cause of all the variety of phobias remains at a visual person, when all his thoughts are spinning around fear for themselves and their own security. He begins to be afraid to communicate with people, playing fantastic plots about robbeles, violence, murders in his head. The vitality fantasies are so bright and exciting that he begins to believe, live in a fictional reality and cannot get out of there.

The paradox is that fantasies are transferred to real life. The more the visitor is afraid of himself, the more of his fears, the more often it falls in the situation when it becomes a victim of no fictional stories. He cannot hold confidently. He "smells" with fear, "victim", and this smell is captured by everything - from dogs that growl and bite such people to violence and robbers.

Tips of psychologists about how to overcome fear, overcome ourselves, stop being afraid, do not give any result. And this is understandable. After all, we are trying to fight with a consequence again, without understanding the causes of any fears, including fear of communicating with people. The awareness of its properties and desires allows a person to get rid of all the problems associated with hypertrophied concern about himself and fear for himself.

Acting other people, their relatives, close, friends allows a visitor to establish a strong emotional contact with the interlocutor and divide his sorrow and joy with him. In this case, fear goes and there is no problem of communication at all. On the contrary, to such people stretch. They want to be nearby, feeling genuine sympathy and empathy.

How to learn to communicate when you are not interested

Sounds - Idea Generators. But with whom they are divided? Who can understand and discuss them? Brilliant in the potential, but complex in communication, as if stuck on themselves and their thoughts sounds are often closed in themselves, do not come to contact people. They cannot clearly and simply express their thoughts, because the meaning is understandable to them, but to pronounce the whole chain of words is no longer interesting.

Egocentrics from nature, arrogant and "smartest", people with a sound vector can engage in spiritual self-improvement, whose psychology is to know what is not in the material world. Of course, find like-minded people for such communication is not easy. But if it happened, the two sounds will discuss the highest worlds, spiritual topics or happily silent, sitting at night under the starry sky.

To answer the eternal questions - who am I, from where and where to go? - Sounds need to be aware of their desires and features. Realizing that his main desire is the knowledge of himself, people around and the meaning of life, sounding can get out of his "shell" and begin to know the world around. Transferring concentration from their internal states on others completely solves all the problems of communicating with people.

Every day a person interacts with other people through communication. People face each other on their studies, work, various events. Communication plays an important role in human life, helping him to develop, receive certain information, experience. But what if the Barrier of Communications occurs? How to learn to communicate with people?

The reason for which a person cannot start a conversation is called a barrier. Why does he arise?

First, the barrier can act the inability of man and the absence of his desire to listen to his interlocutor. He is trying to start his speech when the opponent still says. Without the ability to listen to a person will not succeed in achieving success in those areas of life, where the main link to achieve a positive result is communicating with people. After all, when the interlocutor is constantly trying to interrupt, inserting some kind of thought, it is very confused and annoying.

Lack of desire to listen is a slightly different problem. In this case, the opponent does not interrupt, but simply shows its full indifference to the conversation. The reason for this can be what a person is not interested in the topic of the conversation or he already has an opinion on the problem under discussion, and he is not going to change it.

At the same time it is necessary to remember that the interlocutor can pretend that he is interested. As a result, it turns out that a person in vain loses time on this conversation. You can check whether the opponent's speech listens. To do this, you just need to ask a question: "What do you think about this?". If a person did not hear the last of what was said, he will not be able to express his opinion.

Secondly, the barrier can act as inability to demonstrate that a person is really interested in the problem under discussion. A conversation is much easier when all participants like the topic of conversation. However, if the interlocutor simply shows an interest, without having it in fact, communication will not make sense. But often the fear of offending a person makes it silent about his indifference to this topic of conversation.
Thirdly, the barrier may be the lack of desire to understand the feelings of his interlocutor. It often happens that man begins to communicate, without paying attention to the mood of the opponent either on what feelings he causes precisely this topic. And this is a very important point in communication.
Fourth, to speak with people the fear of opening in front of them. Usually it is fully manifested when people just met. Not everyone is ready to open his soul to another, because for this it is necessary to be confident in it and completely trust him. Although some people can at the first meeting tell about themselves all that is also not desirable. It is necessary to carefully talk about yourself, choosing that you should tell, and what to keep silent about.
Fifth, to interfere with the beginning of the conversation can be that people often have too different levels of development and education. The easiest people interact with each other, who have almost the same intellectual level. If the interlocutor he has a high, then the opponent tries somehow to please him, take an example from him, to acquire some kind of skill.

Worst of all when one person has a level of intelligence lower than that of another. Then the interest in the conversation will be minimal, there will be no desire to support it. But even from such regularities there are exceptions.
For example, if the interlocutor engaged in mental activity all day, he hardly want to talk to serious topics. Then he can easily support any relaxed conversation, even if the most trifling. Therefore, in this case, the intellectual level of the opponent will not play any role.

Psychology of communication with people

Psychology of communication with people is built on some rules. The famous psychologist and writer Dale Carnegie managed to form them best. He in the arsenal has excellent and well-known communication books, which were written back in the 1930-40s. At the moment they remained the same relevant.

It is important to truly interested in other people. After all, each person believes that he is unique, so wishes to be an interesting society. Usually, the interlocutor is more willing to come into talking with the opponent, which is most of all interests interest. At the same time, a small value is paid to what he says.
You must always smile. The smile is the tool that helps to arrange the interlocutor. She demonstrates pleasure from communication.
Do not forget about the name of the opponent, because this is the most pleasant word for any person. In the process of the conversation, you need to call the interlocutor. The name expresses individuality, so many people do not like people when someone calls him wrong.
It is very important to listen to a person. This ability, the opponent shows his attention, interest in conversation. Unfortunately, not all people know how to listen, trying to embry on the conversation faster, expressing their point of view. You must listen carefully to the interlocutor, ask him questions, show your emotions when it is appropriate. If you still remember some successful phrase of the opponent, and then express it in the process of the conversation, then he will be doubly pleasant and there will be no doubt about whether he was heard.
The conversation should be built on what interests both participants in the discussion. Well, if a person can identify or already knows the topic that will definitely be indifferent to the interlocutor. It will help to place a person to themselves.
You always need to show a person what it is significant. At the same time, it is necessary to be solely sincere. This is a very difficult moment in the field of psychology of communication. Opponent can always feel fake interest in it, admiration. Even if people prefer flattery, he still can feel some discomfort. Therefore, those parties who actually seem unique and best should be found in a person who actually seem unique and best.

People who differ in closure are faced with the inability to cross through themselves to utter any phrase to support the conversation. But this skill is necessary to each person also strongly as the ability to write and read. Psychologists have created some recommendations, how to learn to communicate with people.

Well can be accessed on inanimate objects. You can simply talk to your furniture, for example, to tell your desk, as today has passed today and what interesting events took place.

Experts claim that such an exercise actually allows you to learn how to communicate with people correctly, express your thoughts, logically build offers, train your facial expressions and gesticulation. However, for many people, such an idea seems to be delusional. In any case, you can change the furniture on a pet. For example, a dog will always devote all the stories of his master.

Another exercise is praise. When a person comes into talk, he must always try to make compliments to his interlocutors, allocate their special qualities and skills. Many are shy to express their feelings, but everyone knows that people love when they are praised.

It is important to take into account the fact that good words should be sincere, come from the heart. Do not stand specifically, it may noticeably.

The best view of the exercise, how to communicate with the surrounding people, is direct communication with random opponents. It is necessary to put a goal every day to join a conversation with a stranger. For example, coming to the store for products, you can talk to the seller about the quality of this or that product.

Or when you need to find a specific address, you can ask random passers-by how to go to it. Also entering the room, you can be friendly to greet the concierge, ask about her mood, talk about the weather and so on. Chatting with strangers, it is always important to smile. It has people to each other.

Mimic and gesticulation in communication

Learn to speak right with people - it's not all. It is necessary to purchase the skill of faithful gesticulation and facial expressions. Sometimes the body language speaks more than the words themselves. When the interlocutor says, surrounding people appreciate not only speech, but also location, movement of hands, legs, heads, eyes.

In order for people to listen to speech, you must follow the following rules:

It is important to learn how to look correctly at the interlocutor. Sometimes a person has such a look that the other is getting stuck in the throat and he is afraid of something to say. Therefore, it is necessary to look at the opponent openly, to remove the eyes, constantly show your interest in it. Depending on what topic there is a conversation, the look may be different. Do not watch "eyes in the eye", it creates an additional voltage when communicating. If your interlocutor tries to watch you right in the eyes, you can look in their direction, but not focusing your gaze on them. See how through the person's face.
It is necessary to follow their facial expressions and the faith of your interlocutor. A person always expresses any emotions on his face. You can learn how to recognize the mimic mood of a partner, as well as to express feelings yourself with it.
You need to be able to determine the mood of a person on gestures. If a person crosses his legs, presses the folder to himself, hides his hands in his pockets, then you can say with confidence that he is trying to burn out. Then the conversation is unlikely to work outdoor and interesting from the first minutes.

The posture should be open, gestures smooth and slow, palms are disclosed. It will say that a person is calm and ready for a conversation. Some people who skillfully use psychological techniques often use the "Cooling" method. It is to repeat the gesture or pose of a partner after a small period of time. Such an admission allows people to better reveal.

Communication with surrounding people is an integral part of a person's life. Without this, the development of the personality is impossible. To acquire communication skills, it should be constantly practicing it. The more the person will talk to people, the faster he will lose all the ones of the bruises that were on his way.

What is the difference between a pleasant and repulsive interlocutor? Is everything going in a born tendency to communicate? In fact, in 90% of cases it saves not talent, but resourcefulness, self-discipline and continuous work on oneself. It's not a secret: Each detail is important - Pose, Mimic, gestures, tone. And if these components can be quickly coped with physical effort, it will require something more for competent speech. How to talk correctly and be an excellent storyteller?

Use verified data

The blooming is harmful to the reputation of a decent person. A gossip is considered any unverified or dubious information. To avoid awkward moments and do not put yourself in a bad light, it is better to use only reliable facts in the story.

However, there are situations in which any detail is important, even unlikely. Then not to enter an opponent in error, proposals begin with phrases:

"I'm not sure (a) is it true, but ...";
"I heard such information from neighbors / acquaintances / passersby, but I do not know how much it corresponds to the reality ...";
"I have no definite answer to this question, but there are several alleged versions ...";
"I think so, but it is possible that I am mistaken. Check information in reference books or specialists. "

In other words, these statements have only an estimated, hypothetical shade. The interlocutor clearly understands: information may not be true. However, the details will help find the answer, ask the direction.

Arm yourself with arguments

This concerns controversial moments. Even if the question has an irrefutable answer, the interlocutor may not know about him. In such situations, it is impossible to insult the opponent, laugh at him, blame in ignorance. We will be useless and attempts to insist on the response without adequate argument. Therefore, the best output will be a detailed explanation with the announcement or demonstration of evidence. They can be:

results of scientific research;
real examples of life;
broadcasts - video or audio recordings, photos, samples;
authoritative literary sources - reference books, encyclopedias, textbooks;
statistics, experiments, logical conclusions.

Above the purity of speech

Fashion touched even spoken speech. Therefore, words of foreign origin became the norm. Sometimes they really come to the rescue, as they save time, help briefly describe phenomena, objects that are difficult to translate into the native language in one phrase. However, sometimes these "linguistic foreigners" sound ridiculous.

"To demonstrate the Fashion Collection Sayuzim Beauty Center."

"Timbilding will be held on Open-Eir-Place."

"No Connect with Cleaning-Worker."

How to explain to a person who is accustomed to normal speech is that these proposals speak of a fashion show, corporate and cleaner? To avoid semantic errors and misunderstandings, it is better to use Russian counterparts if possible.

A few more problems of the modern "fashion" language - Slang, jargon, intentional reduction in words. The phrase "grandmas is spinning the norms so", uttered by the financial director, will not add respect or trust. And the words "hey, kunny chiks, not ho 'ride a wheelbarrow?" It is unlikely to help tie a healthy romantic relationship. Funny? Nevertheless, it is realities, it is enough to listen to the conversations of others. The result will be more deplorable.

A huge ulcer on the body of speech serves ozaneous vocabulary. Most often, it is used for three reasons:

attempting to attract attention, seem older, "join" to the company (for adolescents);
creation of a comic or emotionally rich effect;
expression of negative emotions.

And now the time of the paradox: scientists found out that the brand is useful for the body, as it helps it easier to carry pain. It turns out, the "sharp little word" sometimes cuts out? Perhaps, but not during a business meeting, communicating with an unfamiliar person or as an insult. Therefore, about the framework of decency is still not worth it.

Do I need to talk about illiterate speech? Rules of leasing, declining, pronunciations exist not just like that. They show the level of pupils, culture.

Pay attention to the sound

Volume, voice timbre, pronunciation clarity have a significant impact on the interlocutor and the public. No less important tone of the storyteller. For a brought up person, it is unacceptable to talk in the arrogant, arrogant tone. You can not give your vote excessive accuracy - it humiliates and insults the listener.

It is good that conversation in which the sound corresponds to the situation.

When communicating with children, an emotionally bright, positive, cheerful tone is used. Protection of scientific work requires neutral, narrative sound. Sellers of goods "for adults" lower the voice, speak slowly, often use semantic pauses.

What will happen if you change all the places?

Does the children like the researcher? How will the audience of scientists on the unusual voice of the speaker - low, hoarse, with a slight o'clock? And what will happen if in a sex shop a shy buyer suddenly stumble on too loud and fun seller?

Establish contact with the interlocutor

During the conversation, it is important to devote the time to your opponent. Otherwise, only a boring, long monologue is obtained. Disposable, because twice will meet with such a "goggling" no one wants. Several rules for polite dialogue:

show respect, call the interlocutor by name (name and patronymic);
ask questions are simple and rhetorical;
forget about one-way or uncertain answers "Yes", "No," Maybe "," Who knows "," let's see ";
look at the interlocutor, do not ignore him, not distracted by trifles;
observe the distance in accordance with the level of proximity.

The conversation reminds the goals of the ball: spoke himself - hand over the ball to another player. It is completely impolite to keep this ball in the hands of good half an hour, and then go along with him, and without making a "pass."

Find a balance between the theme and retreats

Jokes, lyrical and philosophical deviations, memories, secondary topics are heated in interest in conversation. But only if they do not ignore the main subject of conversation.

A person comes to the clinic to find out the cost of services. It is not interesting for him when this hospital was founded, which doctors are working here and how many diplomas at local nurses. Yes, this is important information, and it can be mentioned, but after the announcement of the price and without intrusiveness.

Taboo

If the interlocutor is an unfamiliar person, it makes sense to limit the circle of discussed issues. It will save from awkward situations and conflicts. These topics include:

religion;
politics;
attitude towards sexual minorities;
diseases;
any problems in the life of the interlocutor;
intimate, personal questions;
gossip, discussion with a negative bias.

You can talk about work, culture, hobby, institutions, animals, and so on. Discussion Themes from the list is permissible only with a close person who causes confidence and manifests him in response. If a new acquaintance suddenly begins to touch the embarrassing theme, you can try to smoothly change the subject of the conversation or directly, but politely to declare the reluctance to discuss this issue.

Tips on how to talk correctly may seem light, but practice proves the opposite. To successfully apply them, you will have to learn self-control, develop attentiveness. A good interlocutor follows his speech and opponent's reaction at the same time. He always makes sure when it is better to change the topic or to stop the conversation. Such skills require careful work on themselves. But it is they who serve as a human business card, with whom it is really nice to communicate.

The basic principles of the psychology of communication are based on the literary works of researchers of human behavior in society. A number of rules developed by Dale Carnegie in the 40s are relevant now.

To competently build offers and produce a good impression on the interlocutor, take advantage of psychological techniques:

Be interested. Do not yaw and do not worry. Show what is sympathetic to a person, manifest interest in his activities.
Call positive emotions. Do not hide your smile. Scientists have proven that smiling people are more successful.
Call comrade by name. Personal appeal is a verbal compliment, by this you show that the information is intended for the interlocutor.
Be careful. Important quality - the ability not only to hear, but also listen.
Show respect for the opponent, ask leading questions, surprise the heard facts and show more emotions.
Find a common topic. Try to win the location to yourself, do not be shy and closed in yourself.
Build friendship with neighbor, and with a business partner.
Be sincere. Reptouse and flatter - not the best move. The tight delight will only push the interlocutor. Praise the qualities that really admire you in a person.

Tip! If you are hard to communicate with unfamiliar people, practice on the phone.

The lack of visual contact will get rid of the constraint. Call the hairdresser or cosmetic salon.

Prepare for a conversation in advance, make a list of questions if you are confused during communication.

Development of communicative abilities

The psychology of communication is art. The soul of the company can even become an introvert, closed in itself. It is only worth knowing several "focus" constructing relationships.

Skills	Development
Observation	Hack items, follow the non-verbal behavior of the interlocutor to get the style of communication, in which you will come to mutual understanding
Memory	Remember what your comrade says. Pay attention to the personal details of his life, hobbies, in order to mention in conversation
Erudition	Comprehensive development expands the circle of general topics. Eruded man support any conversation
Understanding	Be sensitive. Man's behavior shows his mood. Mimic can be considered exciting emotions. Support and understanding - the key to the beginning of friendship
Training	Communicate every day. Scientists have proven that regular communication increases efficiency and productivity. The more you socialize, the easier you will find a common language with people.

Important! Be natural, do not turn the art of communication in the acting game.

Non-verbal psychology

Whatever interesting information is, the owner must competently present its essence. Who will listen to the bubbly whisper of the uncertain speaker? Behavior and ability to behave in society - that's what makes others listen to listening to you!

"Language" eye. Get rid of uncertainty, boldly take a look into the eyes of the interlocutor and show that you are interested in supporting friendships.
Running look - a sign of disrespect showing that you are bored.
Mimic. Each emotion is reflected on the face. Even flirting can only be a corner of the mouth.
Do not talk about a sad with a smile or positive with pursed lips. Combine internal state with external.
Signs. Non-verbal behavior is a whole science. Keep your hands at the level of abdomen or hollow, crossed palms are stiffness and distrust of others.
Open posture subconsciously has an interlocutor. Learn to freely own non-verbal admission of communication.

Tip! Trade in front of the mirror every day. Read poems, pronounce speech or imagine yourself as a teacher.

Such a training will help you overcome closure and feel calm, talking to people.

Exercises for free and easy communication with unfamiliar people

Contact your psychologist for help if the close circle of communication is not replenished. But there is a way that will help to overcome timidity at home.

A small training is the beginning of work on yourself:

Monologue out loud. Sit more convenient, take your favorite children's toy or book. Turn on the fantasy and imagine that the subject in your hands is your listener.
Such training is not so simple, as it seems. Speak about yourself, about your activity, speak beautifully, connected offers.
Such an exercise will help strudule the course of thoughts in your head and competently express them out loud.
Dialogue with a stranger. Talk on the street. Ask passeling how to go to the library, check with the seller about the quality of the goods, ask to advise you.
Get acquainted with someone in a cafe or movie. Such training will save from fear to take the first step.
Remember the details. After dialogue with a stranger, remember what he was dressed as the color of his eyes, hair, which was reported by the interlocutor.
Develop long-term memory, reproduce a person's face, style and voice in memory. Exercise trains attentiveness.
Praise. Make compliments, each person has advantages. Find them and admire aloud. But be sincere, do not forget that flax easily recognize.

Tip! Watch the speech. Speak clearly and clearly, without hiding and stuttering.

Top books and literature

Are interested in? Find out the details from the book. Researchers of human behavior published many works on psychology.

Check out the best literature, which will help you perfectly master the skills of communication:

Eric Burn "Games that people play."
Dale Carnegie "How to conquer friends and influence people."
Larry King "How to talk with anyone, when you want and whatever."
Sigmund Freud "Psychology of Mass and Analysis of the Human I".
Karen Pryor "Do not grow on a dog."

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