Types of love: what love is. Socionic types. Types of love. Three-component theory of love

Psychologist, psychotherapist and psychoanalyst.

In my work with clients, I often and successfully use this classification - especially in family counseling. So thank you ancient Greeks! Here - I share. So let's go.

Mania

The ancient Greeks called this kind of love "madness from the gods." Love-mania is considered a punishment. This is love-obsession. She makes a man in love suffer. Write poetry. Not eating or sleeping. In the short term, it is acceptable in healthy relationships, especially in early adolescence.

If it is delayed, it speaks of a craving for unhealthy relationships, impoverishment of the individual and requires referral to a specialist. Especially if love-mania brings suffering and the object of passion. Then the "lover" strives to be with his beloved all the time, tries to control him, experiences insane passion and jealousy.

Also, the lover experiences mental pain, confusion, constant tension, uncertainty and anxiety. He is completely dependent on the object of adoration. The object, if in order, from such an ardent love, begins, on the contrary, to avoid the person in love with him and makes attempts to break off the relationship, disappear from his life.

This kind of love is destructive. Fortunately, it is short-lived, with the exception of sadomasochistic relationships - which is not very healthy and heals. Just think that so much was praised by poets and was considered almost the standard of love - it turned out to be a disease. Ironically. But human society was still not so delusional.

Ludus

This is love-sport, love-game, love-excitement or competition. This love is based on sexual attraction, but without the desire to bestow. This is consumer love. That is, love is the opposite. Well, everyone has heard of pick-ups. Such people can keep lists of partners and count victories, or they simply uncontrollably find a partner for the evening - not really remembering what happened.

As you can imagine, men are more inclined towards this relationship - but there are no rules without exceptions. Feelings in Ludus are superficial, which means they cannot satisfy partners completely, they always lack something in a relationship, and then the search for other partners begins. In parallel, such sex addicts can maintain a relationship with their regular partner.

Agape

It is sacrificial, selfless, or unconditional love. The lover is ready for self-sacrifice in the name of the beloved. This love combines mercy, tenderness, reliability and devotion. This kind of love is known to all happy parents. And our children are perhaps the only ones who are worthy of such love, and even then - in early childhood. And when they grow up, it is better for parents to build such rules so that there are no casualties.

Agape finds expression in an incessant responsiveness and constant concern for other people. In partnerships, the line between Agape and masochistic addiction disappears and turns into equal. That is, it is not permissible. Why? The urge to give more than take is exhausting the giver. A healthy relationship involves fair exchange.

If Agape is required of you, explain that your partner is confusing something and you are not his parent. Agape can be found in the heart of a church minister who serves a high rank, in the heart of a religious fan, a member of a sect. Here she mixes with Mania.

All three types of relationships are based on a feeling of love - but are completely unsuitable for healthy partnerships. In addition, they bring suffering to one of the partners.

But what should we do? To cultivate other types of love in our hearts and learn to recognize them - at least potentially - in others. The following types of love are useful and pleasant for the soul and body, as well as for family life in general.

Eros

Enthusiastic, passionate love, based primarily on the attractiveness of a loved one, as well as on sexual attraction. What used to be called romance. And now - just a novel. This is love-the joy of having a partner, pleasure from his body. In this phase of love, the idealization of the beloved takes place. And then - they themselves understand that Eros is the beginning of all love relationships in the world.

It is believed that this phase of falling in love lasts an average of three years, plus or minus a year, but each couple has their own individual story. Happy are those couples whom Eros visits many times during their life together. In this phase, early hasty marriages take place, happy children are born who grow up in the love of their parents. But these same children can destroy love-eros - after all, with their appearance it is time to move on to the next stage of love (see below), and not everyone is capable of this.

Filia

The Greeks considered it a kind of platonic love. This is love-friendship. But now it turned out that a good marriage cannot do without it either. Moreover, when Eros fades away, it is Filia who throws up the firewood that warms family love relationships. If you have Filia, it means you and your partner have a good time.

Sometimes you are pleased to watch a movie or football together, play cards, go on a hike or visit with your children, listen to music or just talk until the morning. Plato extolled her as true love. They say about such a partner - we are very attached to each other. In such relationships, both friendly and family, equality and harmony often reign.

Storge

This mysterious word hides love for a relative. To a loved one. Such people have traveled a lot together. And they may not be delighted with their object - but they will tear for it. And they will give it all - if you need help. This is love for someone who is not chosen or has been chosen for a very long time. We all feel this type of love for our homeland. This is our love for our parents. And even a cousin from Kiev - if someone says a crooked word about her.

Pragma

This is the same kind of love. Romantics, infantiles and creative personalities are so afraid of this word - but completely in vain. After all, it is not her that keeps the main value of humanity - the family. It is rational love or love of convenience. But not that calculation, when a person manipulates another for his own benefit. And when he expects that he is a good partner in order to walk together through life. A good share of Pragma in a relationship enriches both partners. Because one is good at this, and the other is good at that. And when they are together - a couple or a family gets all-round enrichment.

I also call the comfort of being together Pragma. General views on life, the number and way of raising children, vacation plans. This is when people have common values. For example, we both love to eat well, buy a lot of food, talk about what to cook for dinner, invite guests. Or - we don't bother with this at all. How the absence of Pragma can get in the way, it becomes clear if you imagine that one loves to eat and cooks deliciously, while the other does not understand how time and money can be spent on this.

If such a partner tends to devalue the values of another, he will begin to condemn and criticize the food lover. And he will feel misunderstood and unhappy. But if there is no Pragma - but there is mutual respect for the values of the other - the relationship will survive that too.

So how do you choose a partner at the first stage? See if he loves anyone at all in his life. And how does he love? Is it active love - or just words. If a person does not love anyone in the world - but loves only you - most likely it is an addiction or symbiotic affection. And if he loves mom, dad, children, cat, and finally - and takes good care of them - you are in safe and loving hands.

There are many paths in life, but the longest of them is the path to the heart of another person. And if you resist this path and get off it, you will only take the time to try to find it again later.

Such a person wants to love and be loved in order to feel like a whole and harmonious person.

Because of this, he can become an obsessive and jealous lover, feeling like he desperately needs his partner.

Mania manifests itself especially clearly when the object of love does not reciprocate or his reciprocal feelings are unequal.

6. Pragma or lasting love

Pragma is love that has been tested by time, but continues to mature and develop.

She went beyond physical attraction, transcended spontaneity, and over time developed into a unique harmony.

You can find Pragma among married couples who have been together for years, or among friends whose friendships have stood the test for decades.

Unfortunately, Pragma does not appear as if by magic. We spend so much time and energy trying or but so little time learning ways to maintain relationships.

Unlike other types of love, Pragma is the result of efforts on both sides.

It is love between people who have learned to compromise, to exercise patience in order to push the relationship towards continuous development.

7. Philacy or self-love

The Greeks understood that in order to love others, a person must first.

This kind of self-love is not unhealthy vanity and arrogance that focuses on one's own ego and narcissism.

Philacy is self-love in a healthy way. As Aristotle said: "All friendly feelings towards others are the development of a person's relationship to himself."

The only way to truly be happy is to find unconditional love for yourself.

8. Agape or unconditional love

The highest and most perfect kind of love is Agape, in other words, selfless and unconditional love.

Agape is not a sentimental outpouring that is often perceived in our society as love.

Also, Agape has nothing to do with the kind of love conditioned by physical attraction, which is often found in modern culture.

Agape is what some call spiritual love. It is unconditional love, greater than ourselves, boundless compassion, infinite compassion.

Buddhists have a corresponding concept - "metta", that is, universal loving-kindness. It is the purest form of love, free from desires and expectations, existing regardless of the merits and demerits of others.

Types of love. Three-component theory of love

According to this theory, developed by the American psychologist Robert Sternberg, there are three components of love:

Passion- falling in love and physical attraction.
Proximity- a deep sense of affection and unity.
Commitments- willingness to maintain and develop relationships.

These three components combine with each other, thus giving rise to seven different types of love.

№	Kinds of love	Passion	Proximity	Commitments
–	Lack of love
1	Sympathy / Friendship		+
2	Love	+
3	Empty love			+
4	Romantic love	+	+
5	Friendly love		+	+
6	Fatal love	+		+
7	+	+	+

1. Sympathy / Friendship

Think of a person to whom you can tell about any positive or negative event that has happened in your life, including your innermost secrets.

Of course you love him. But this love is sympathy or friendship, and does not claim to be a relationship.

2. Falling in love (infatuation)

Infatuated love may seem strong and overwhelming, but devoid of intimacy and commitment is not durable.

Very often, falling in love wins a priority in your life, because it is due to the strongest craving - sexual attraction.

But you should carefully evaluate how close you are to each other, and whether you want to be with this person for a long time.

3. Empty love

This is the love that some of us share with our family and relatives.

In this case, it is difficult for you to imagine the future without another person, but at the same time there is no physical attraction, as well as the exchange of information regarding the details of your personal life.

Unfortunately, many marriages are also sometimes based on empty love.

4. Romantic love

Romantic love makes you feel butterflies in your belly when you think about the object of love, however, without commitment, this kind of love cannot last forever.

The combination of passion and intimacy creates an illusion, but without conscious and active work on a long-term relationship, the feeling that has arisen will not be able to translate into something more.

5. Friendly love

At some point, a marriage or long-term relationship can develop into companionship.

This isn't too bad, as intimacy and commitment are the most powerful of the three. However, it is important to rekindle the fire and bring the passion back to its rightful place.

Seniors who no longer have strong physical attraction are often in search of companionable love.

6. Fatal love

Suddenly, a completely wonderful new person appears on your life path.

The chemistry of love that has arisen between you absorbs you completely, and you just cannot keep from each other.

Everything is going great, and you are absolutely convinced that this is the person you have always dreamed of.

This conclusion comes to mind, based on a few superficial information that you have: where the object of your passion traveled, what kind of music he loves, what films and books he prefers, etc.

And you decide with the utmost seriousness that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

But the truth is that in the absence of closeness and sharing stories from your personal life, you cannot judge a person objectively, because in reality you do not know him.

Perfect love is born from the union of all three components of love. This is the kind of love most of us aspire to.

The ideal situation is when everything is great in bed, there is closeness and understanding, and you cannot imagine the future without this person.

Conclusion

We all want perfect love, which would give us strength and energy.

And we can indeed find it, but, according to many psychologists, the main problem is not to achieve love, but to maintain it.

CHARACTERISTICS OF FORMS OF LOVE (OR RELATIONSHIP)

1. Storge is love-tenderness, including deep understanding and compassion. This feeling is inherent in the ability to compromise, benevolence and the ability to smooth out contradictions. This form of relationship is characterized by: solidarity with a partner in everything, condescension to shortcomings, striving for harmonious, stable, pleasant and relaxed relationships. This is the ideal form of love for family life, provided that the partner is empathetic. Excessive vulnerability of this feeling does not make him hardy under any circumstances. The attraction of the soul is of great importance and prevails over physical attraction. Storge was born in antiquity, developed during the Renaissance and has not lost its relevance in our time.

2. Mania - long-term emotional ecstasy, obsession with love, overestimation of its importance, which leads to strong emotional upheaval, reckless actions, and even drama. This feeling is strong, possessive, demanding, longing for complete reciprocity, but also capable of many compromises. This love is very enduring, even when it is unrequited. Often capable of heroism and sacrifice, and even reckless devotion. She is full of contradictions, as she is very dependent on a changeable mood. Quarrels, sharp contrasts in behavior, even fleeting betrayals are frequent in her. It is the cause of unpredictable behavior and disregard for generally accepted norms of behavior. There is love-Mania since ancient times, but it was most widespread in the 20th century in Western Europe after the sexual revolution, whose adherents called for the liberation of feelings and the rejection of the cold bourgeois rationality. It has not lost its relevance in our pragmatic times, although it has become less dramatic.

3. Analita is a form of love, which is characterized by the desire for a calm and rational relationship. This love is individually selective, with high demands of its bearer to the object of feelings and with a tendency to be disappointed in him if he did not meet any expectations. This exactingness is devoid of idealism, but often exceeds the real capabilities of people. This feeling is intellectual, with a tendency to reflect and analyze the behavior of a partner, without plunging into his spiritual world. Has an abstract generalizing character with a tendency to draw conclusions detached from the object of feelings; there are few emotions and sensations. Does not differ in compliance. Striving for a reasonable and harmonious combination of intellectual needs and physical desires, the owner of the Analita requires many concessions from the partner. It manifested itself most vividly in the 19th century and is well reflected in the philosophy of Freud, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, etc. For many who have not met their ideal partner, this form of love turns into its complete denial. In our time of progressing gender equality (biarchy) is gradually losing its relevance and manifests itself less vividly, although it is still relevant. Since it did not have a definite name in the literature, the author proposed his own.

4. Pragma - sober, pragmatic and reasonable love for spiritual or material reasons. Despite some selfishness, she is tuned in to a fair balance between "giving" and "receiving". It involves treating the object of your feelings with respect and a desire to understand it. She is natural and rational in manifesting her needs. It is characterized by a desire for mutual satisfaction of desires and interests, although personal interests in it are sometimes put above the interests of a partner. Habit strengthens it, over time, the object of feelings turns into a necessary property, carefully looked after. Described by Spinoza. It was most popular in the 18th century, although it existed in all historical eras. Has not lost its popularity in our time. Associated with it are unions, which are usually called marriages of convenience.

5. Agape - sacrificial and idealistic love. It is based on tolerance. This is a rather persistent feeling with elements of fatalism. Its owner is able to forgive a lot and take self-denial for granted. Refined and poetic, such love can exist for a long time away from the object of feelings, even without hope of reciprocity. In it there is a desire to protect their illusions from the destructive action of reality, therefore in such a relationship there is a tendency to self-deception. Despite her complex and contradictory nature, she more than other forms of love disposes of humility. Sometimes a person who has this form of love has to make radical decisions, for example, on his own initiative to part with a loved one. But the image of a loved one, even after separation, can be faithful for a long time. Spiritual attraction always prevails over physical. This type of love-humility became widespread with the emergence of Christianity, but it is still relevant in our time.

6. Philia is a spiritual feeling based on the kinship of souls, thoughts and interests - a kind of intellectual community. This feeling engenders a friendship with deep respect and understanding. It has a very selective character, unites like-minded people and stimulates the mutual development of abilities. This is the love of equal partners, it does not tolerate coercion and, moreover, diktat in anything. People who are characterized by this kind of love can remain faithful only to the chosen one who does not disappoint them. And without regret, they part with partners who have not lived up to expectations, alien in spirit and way of thinking. Such people are much more tolerant of sexual disharmony. This form of love developed during the Renaissance, but was sung by Plato and has since been called Platonic. In our time, it becomes more and more relevant for societies fed up with sexual permissiveness.

7. Eros is a passionate, domineering and sensual attraction to the object of love. The appearance and demeanor of a loved one are of great value. They evoke aesthetic feelings and admiration for external perfection, often exaggerated, - face, figure, gait. People who are dominated by this type of love strive for harmony of body and soul, therefore they are able to close their eyes to minor flaws. Having caught fire with love, they are capable of great dedication, they constantly improve their manners and ways of expressing feelings, as well as the shape of their body, the beauty of their clothes, the aesthetics of the environment. They readily adapt and adapt to their partner. They attach great importance to physical pleasures. Not finding the desired harmony, they are forever disappointed in the object of their feelings and part with it quite easily. This form of manifestation of feelings became widespread in ancient Greece, is most characteristic of developed societies and is still widely promoted by the media and various types of art.

8. Victoria is a type of erotic behavior that is more distant from intellectual and spiritual needs than others. He lacks depth and selectivity. It is based on a pleasant feeling of conquering the object of one's attraction. It's a kind of fighting game. If the loser does not resist, interest in him quickly disappears.

For introverts or beaverts (people who are uncommunicative), this feeling can be very stable and reliable when a loved one is seen as a necessary property. Attention to your partner manifests itself in the form of constant exactingness, implying the best intentions. This feeling can be quite selfish, sometimes even alien to compassion. For extroverts (sociable), this form of love often lacks constancy, since it is inherent in the desire for sexual diversity, which gives a feeling of joy from new victories. A partner is often viewed as an adversary or as a fortress being taken by storm. They look down on him, without condescension and without striving for complete understanding. This form of relationship originated in Ancient Greece. The most popular was during the period of the slave system. Currently, it is losing its popularity in developed and spiritual societies. In American culture, after the sexual revolution, an extraverted form of this love gained popularity, which has not lost its relevance there even now. In an archaic form, the introverted form of this love persists in societies that traditionally assign a secondary role to women.

COMPATIBILITY OF RELATIONSHIP FORMS

REPRESENTATIVES OF DIFFERENT ACCENTS OF CHARACTER

Human life is rarely complete without love, but everyone loves in their own way. You need to understand the main thing - a person cannot love the way you want it. He loves the way he naturally loves. Your right to accept his love for what it is, or to reject it if you do not like this form of manifestation of feelings. If you want to achieve harmony in feelings with the person you love, figure out what form of relationship each unconsciously expects from the other and try to develop them in yourself. They say that a habit is second nature, so the desired over time can become real. Consider the compatibility of relationships on a purely personal, emotional level.

Most compatible combinations:
Storge and Pragma. It is a union of character accents: Peacemaker and Professional.
Mania and Analita. Union of Romance and Logic.
Agape and Victoria. Union of the Forecaster with the Winner.
Filia and Eros. Union of the Dreamer and the Epicurean. These opposite types of love complement each other well.

For example, a very strong union among people who have the Storge and Pragma forms of love, since in these feelings a calm, harmonious life that strengthens relationships is highly valued. Mania can do a lot to move her wearer, who wants to meet the especially high requirements of the personality with the Analita. He, in turn, balances with his sober rationality the impulsiveness in the feelings of the owner of Mania.

With the domineering possessive Victoria, only a sacrificial feeling can get along - Agape, capable of obeying someone else's will. As for the love of Eros, only the rich possibilities and imagination of the intellectual Filia can keep the interest of an ardent and demanding partner for a long time. It is a wonderful union of mind, soul and body.

Incompatible types of relationships include:

1. Storge and Analita.

Gentle, vulnerable Storge cannot stand aloof and spiritless, strict and demanding Analyta. And for Analita, Storge is too primitive, boring and even corny. It is difficult for them to find mutual understanding and harmony in feelings.

2. Mania and Pragma.

The cult of emotion is incompatible with practical calculation. Mania seems to Pragma restless and obsessive, while Pragma Mania seems cynical and boring.

3. Agape and Eros.

Melancholic Agape does not delight Eros. And Eros hurts Agape with his high demands. In addition, the owner of Eros does not need pity and humility, but only an equal partner that causes sensual delight.

4. Filia and Victoria.

This is the eternal conflict between the spiritual and the physical, between the pursuit of equality and submission, between practical interest and ignorance. They are not attracted to each other.

Combinations of relationship types with medium compatibility
(which, with a certain adjustment, can get along):

1. Storge and Victoria.

Tactful Storge makes compromises for the sake of maintaining harmony and strength of relations. She is patient and softens over time Victoria. Her ability to be flexible sometimes brings her closer to the Agape needed by Victoria.

2. Mania and Eros.

The cult of love unites them and makes emotions bright at first. Over time, fatigue from an excess of feelings sets in, but Mania firmly holds Eros. Their connection usually turns out to be tempestuous, but interesting for both. True, the exact outcome here is not always predictable.

3. Agape and Pragma.

Idealistic sacrifice and sober calculation, despite some friction, converge on a mutual desire for constancy.

4. Filia and Analita.

This is a highly intellectual union in which both strive for excellence. True, Filia lacks sensuality, and Analyte lacks emotionality in relationships, but they find common interests that bring them together. They can part only because of ideological differences or intimate dissatisfaction.

Partners with an average degree of compatibility can not always adapt to each other, but if this happens, they get along.

There is also such a combination of types of love with an average degree of compatibility, when partners mutually extinguish each other's feelings. In such cases, rapprochement either does not occur, or people soon lose their mutual interest and part.

True, in some cases, such couples adapt to each other under the pressure of external factors: children, property problems, etc. But they greatly annoy each other, and this is difficult to endure in the absence of love.

Redemption pairs:

1. Storge and Mania.

Tenderness and passion, with a mutual focus on the cult of love, at first make partners very attractive to each other. But it soon turns out that they understand love in different ways and this disappoints both.

2. Agape and Filia.

Sacrifice and equality in love are mutually exclusive. Problems with expression of emotions and sexual initiative can extinguish both. Their interests are spiritual, but different. They are bored with each other, although superficial friendships can last for a long time.

3. Analita and Pragma.

Due to a sober approach to love, they may at first become interested in each other, come together on mutual respect, but they are rather cold with each other. The emotional side of love is not expressed. And besides, Pragma does not strive to become what the Analita wants to see her. As a result, mutual disappointment ensues.

4. Eros and Victoria.

The start can be stormy. But Eros, striving for harmony in feelings, does not accept suppression of the personality, is disappointed in Victoria, and she, in turn, does not try to keep him. They are both very independent and break up easily.

The problem of human relations is complex and multifaceted. Of course, approaches based on understanding relationships on the emotional and sexual levels do not completely solve the whole problem of relationships, but they open the curtain for understanding this side of relationships. For a more complete understanding of the problem of purely personal relationships, we propose to take one more step into the realm of the intimate.

Go to "Forms of Love-Part 1"

Their classification.

Chapter 2. Formation of understanding of love from antiquity

through the Middle Ages to the Renaissance.

Chapter 3. Philosophy of love in modern times.

Conclusion.

Introduction.

In everyday speech, we often come across the words "higher human feelings", "love", as a rule, using them in a rather narrow sense, unaware of all the rich variety of emotions that are hidden behind this word. The variety of variations in the manifestation of love is unusual in its number, however, most often we talk about erotic love, by which hereinafter we will understand any

(both spiritual and physical) relationship between a man and a woman, as the most characteristic manifestation of this feeling. The essence and significance of these relations were tried to reveal by many philosophers throughout the history of the existence of human thought: from antiquity to the present day. However, not a single era has been able to give a complete definition of the concept of love, revealing only certain facets of this phenomenon of the human soul.

Having become interested in this problem, in my work I set for myself the goal of getting acquainted with how the understanding and perception of love between a man and a woman changed in different historical conditions, in different eras. And for this it is necessary to carry out a number of tasks. And first of all, to define love between opposite sexes as one of the most important aspects of its understanding and to highlight this type of human relationship among other diverse forms and types of love. And besides, get acquainted with the concepts of philosophers of antiquity, the Middle Ages, the Renaissance and the New Age in order to find out the main characteristic features of the philosophy of erotic love of each of the eras.

Chapter 1.

The variety of types and forms of love.

Their classification.

The spiritual world of a person, his aesthetic essence, is perhaps one of the least known spheres of life on Earth by science. And that is why it is almost impossible to give a clear definition of the highest human feelings, one of which is love. The complexity and importance of love is due to the fact that it merges into one whole physical and spiritual, individual and social, personal and universal, understandable and inexplicable. There is no such developed society, and there is no such person who would not be familiar with love. Moreover, without love, the moral character of a person cannot be formed, normal development does not take place. It can be developed to varying degrees, but it cannot but be.

"Love is the only satisfactory answer to the question of the problem of human existence," 1 says E. Fromm. However, what is love? No one has yet been able to give a sufficiently clear definition. And this difficulty appears primarily because of the variety of types and forms of love, for love marks all human activity in all its manifestations. One can talk about erotic love and love for oneself, love for man and God, love for life and for the motherland, love for truth and goodness, love for freedom and power ... parental ... There are love-passion and love-pity, love-need and love-gift, love for a neighbor and love for a distant one, love of a man and love of a woman. When listing the varieties of love, it seems that there is nothing in common between them and there is no common point at which all these feelings would intersect.

What brings together to the extreme various passions, attractions, attachments under the general name "love"? How do they compare? Many philosophers, starting from antiquity, tried to answer all these questions about the essence and types of love. However, no generally accepted answers have been found to this day.

In order to try to explain the phenomenon of love, at different times, attempts were made to create a classification of various types of manifestations of this feeling, but they all turned out to be incomplete and did not cover all its varieties.

Here are some examples that give an idea of the complexity of dividing love into species.

The ancient Greeks distinguished two main categories:

love-passion (eros), bordering on madness, and

calmer love (filia).

Love-passion, like any passion, is rare, impetuous and short-lived. This usually includes sexual love. Filia, on the other hand, is more stable and diverse: this includes love for parents, children, relatives, love for a person, hometown or country. It is also love for power, fame, freedom, wealth, goodness. Even vice, lies and greed can be the objects of this love.

The wide interpretation of the concept of love by the ancient philosophers in the Middle Ages is largely lost. The area of its manifestation narrows only to a person and God, and sometimes in general only to a representative of the opposite sex.

In this regard, the classifications of the types of love offered by medieval philosophers are based primarily not on the various forms of its manifestation, but on the "rank" relationships between people.

So, for example, the Florentine Neoplatonist of the 15th century. Ficino talked about the possibility of the existence of three types of love:

love of higher beings for lower ones (one of the manifestations is guardianship)

love of lower beings for higher ones (for example, reverence) and

love of equal beings, which is the basis of humanism.

New time has brought new ideas to the philosophical interpretation of the concept of love. The sphere of determining the influence of this feeling is expanding and its classification becomes more ramified.

Kemper, for example, bases his theory on the possible types of love on two independent factors: power (the ability to force a partner to do what you want) and status (the ability to make another person want to meet your requirements). And in connection with the level of manifestation of a particular quality, the philosopher identifies seven types of love:

romantic love in which both partners have high power and status;

parental love for a small child, in which the parent has high power and low status, and the child is vice versa;

brotherly love, in which both members of the pair have little power of arcs over the other, but go towards one another;

charismatic love, for example, in a teacher-student pair, when the teacher has a high level of power and status, while the student, not having power, willingly goes to meet the teacher;

“Worship” of a literary or any other hero with whom there is no real interaction and who has no power, but has a status, and his admirer has neither power nor status;

falling in love or one-sided love, when one has both power and status, while the other is deprived of them;

"Treason", when one has both power and status, and the other - only power. As in the case of adultery.

This interesting typology of love, characterized by its simplicity and clarity, is nevertheless abstract and incomplete. Two factors - power and status - are obviously insufficient to identify all those diverse relationships that are covered by the word "love": for example, if you try to introduce love for God into the scheme under consideration, then it can only be identified with "in love", unrequited love.

Thus, it is obvious that simple classifications, which are based on a clear basis, have only the merit that can be tested in practice, and therefore are useful only in psychology, and not in the philosophical analysis of love.

Based on these conclusions, modern philosophers come to the conclusion that love is heterogeneous: it includes not only different types and their subspecies, but also its various forms or so-called "modes". The types of love include, for example, love for one's neighbor. The forms of its manifestation are love for children, for parents, brotherly love; its modes are the love of a man and a woman, the love of a northerner and a southerner, medieval and modern love. Concretization can go further, and all these various manifestations of human feelings refer to one categorical concept - love.

There are a huge number of modes of love, and therefore let us pay attention to more specific types of love. In this regard, let us consider the theory of one of the modern researchers A. Ivin, who represents the entire field of love in the form of nine “steps” or “circles”. Let's consider this theory in more detail.

The "first circle" includes erotic (sexual) love and self-love. These two types are paradigms of all types of love, regardless of its subject. It is noteworthy that when the word "love" occurs out of context, it almost always means erotic love.

In a certain sense, according to many philosophers, this kind of love makes a person complete: it gives him such a fullness and acuteness of being that nothing else can give him. So Karl Marx wrote to his wife: “Not love for Feuerbach's“ man ”, for Moleschow's“ metabolism, ”for the proletariat, but love for his beloved, namely you, makes a person again a man in the full sense of the word,” 2 - and thus defines this kind of love as a fundamental feature of a person's moral stability.

V. Solovyov also elevates erotic love to the top of the hierarchical ladder and says that "both in animals and in humans, sexual love is the highest flowering of individual life." 3

But if Solovyov's erotic love, for all its importance, does not extend to other types of love, then Freud maximizes this concept in all forms of friendship and love relationships, in all attachments, be it to oneself, to parents or to the homeland. , sees the same sexual source. Freud's teachings contributed to the spread of the simplified concept that all love is erotic love.

A person's love for himself is an important prerequisite for his existence as a person and, therefore, a condition for all love. In addition, “if someone loves his neighbor, but does not love himself, this proves that love for his neighbor is not genuine,” E. Fromm writes. And since love "is based on affirmation and respect, then if a person does not experience these feelings in relation to himself, then they do not exist at all." 4

The idea of the paramount importance of self-love is also read in the writings of Erasmus of Rotterdam: “No one can love another if he has not loved himself before - but only righteously. And no one can hate another if he has not hated himself before. " 5 Thus, in the philosophical understanding, self-love is opposed to egoism, with which it is often identified. Selfishness, selfishness is attention only to oneself and the preference of one's own interests to the interests of others. As a result of a lack of self-love, selfishness is an attempt to compensate for such a lack. It is no coincidence that V. Solovyov assessed love as "the real abolition of egoism" and "the real justification and salvation of individuality"

The second "circle of love" is love for one's neighbor: for children, for parents, for brothers, for sisters, as well as for people who are firmly connected with our lives ... Many philosophers emphasized the importance of this phenomenon. So S. Frank considered love for one's neighbor "the germ of true love"; and the Russian thinker N. Frolov considered love for parents to be the highest kind of love and the basis of human community. Parental feelings occupy a special place here. Moreover, maternal and paternal love are two essentially opposite modes. And if a mother's love for her children is unconditional, inherent in her nature; then a father's love for his children depends on their appearance, character and behavior. And unlike maternal love, paternal love can be earned by fulfilling all his requirements and meeting his expectations.

The third “circle of love” is love for a person, which includes a person's love for himself, love for his neighbor, and love for every other person. In particular, this is love for future generations and the associated responsibility towards them: each generation should strive to leave to the next generation everything that it received from the previous one, both qualitatively and quantitatively.

The fourth "circle of love" includes love for the homeland, for life and love for God. Love for God is not the result of reasoning and analysis. It arises in the depths of the human soul and, like any other love, does not tolerate excessive rationality. Sometimes this feeling reaches such an intensity that it overpowers all his other passions, including the very love of life. M. Scheler gives a vivid description of the “holy feeling”: “people overflowing with it endure any pain and death itself, not with reluctance and torment, but willingly and with bliss, for in the happiness and splendor of this feeling all the joys of life fade and lose their meaning , ”6 - these are the philosopher's ideas about the ideal of love.

According to Freud, religious love is the transfer of sexual attraction into spiritual activity. He believed that the believer plunges into a world of religious fantasy in order to find substitute pleasure there. As a result, he calls religion a "sublimated product of sexual desires", then "a collective illusion that arose as a result of the suppression of primary natural drives." 7

In Christianity, love for God did not remain constant, it changed in its form and in its intensity. Having reached the highest tension in the Middle Ages, it gradually began to lose its sublimity and immediacy.

The "fifth circle" of love includes love for nature and, in particular, cosmic love, which, aimed at the world as a whole, speaks of the unity of man and the world and their mutual influence. From the point of view of P.T. de Chardin, "all-encompassing, cosmic love is not only psychologically possible, it is the only complete and final way we can love." 8 The cosmic sense of oneness with the Universe manifests itself in the face of beauty, in contemplation of nature, in music. The feeling of universal love, according to many philosophers, is the striving for unity, inherent in both living and inanimate nature.

At the turn of the Middle Ages and the New Age, the idea of cosmic love was developed by Nikolai Kuzansky and Marsilio Ficino, who compared this feeling with the strongest hoop that holds the universe into one structure, and all people into a single brotherhood. Somewhat later, D. Bruno, J. Boehme and others spoke about love as an all-pervading cosmic feeling. However, then this trend came to naught. A significant role in this was played by the rethinking of world forces, begun by Newtonian mechanics.

The sixth "circle" includes love for truth, for good, for beauty, love for justice. The inner unity of all these types of love is obvious: in each of them, the social component plays an essential role, as a result of which these feelings turn out to be less personal and are in many ways an expression of group feelings, uniting people in a team. In contrast, for example, from erotic love, which unites two, disconnecting them from society.

So, the concept of justice is one of the central ones in morality, law, economics, politics, ideology. And, perhaps, there is no such area of human relations where the question of their justice and injustice would not arise. Even Socrates expressed the conviction that nothing should be put above justice - neither children, nor life. But already Aristotle noticed that all people highly value justice, but everyone perceives it in their own way.

F. Nietzsche highly appreciates the striving for justice: “Indeed, no one has greater rights to our respect than the one who wants and can be just. For in justice the highest and rarest virtues are combined and hidden, as in the sea, which receives and absorbs in its unexplored depth the rivers flowing into it from all sides. " nine

Love for justice is a complex, complex feeling, where love for oneself and for loved ones, love for a person and for the motherland, love for goodness and for truth are intertwined. Nevertheless, in the love of justice there is an independent content that does not allow to reduce all meaning to its components.

The seventh "circle of love" is love for creativity, for fame, for one's activities, for freedom, for wealth. The love of money has a certain social prerequisite: uncertainty in the future, a desire to protect oneself in the face of the trials of fate. “Money and power,” writes Hesse, “were invented by distrust. He who does not trust the vital force in himself, who does not have this force, replenishes it with such a denominator as money. " 10 But not every person will find the strength to rely only on his own talent, about which Hesse speaks. And the desire for minimal stability in life is quite understandable and understandable.

The eighth "circle" is a love for the game, for communication, for collecting, for traveling.

And finally, the last "circle", which, in principle, is no longer a "circle of love" - this is the attraction to food and foul language. Rather, these are addictions that cannot be put on a par with love for a person or God, but they resemble distant modes of love.

In this scheme, where the whole gamut of various forms of love is most fully represented, a clear pattern is seen: the further we move from the center, the lower the intensity of love and the greater the role of social influences. For example, erotic love and love for children can fill the entire emotional life of a person; love of creativity and fame is most often only a part of life; addiction to gambling and collecting is just one aspect of human existence.

Now, having familiarized ourselves with the whole diverse spectrum of forms of love, let us focus on one of the main types of human relations: love between a man and a woman; and consider how the philosophical assessment of this feeling changed from antiquity through the Middle Ages, and how the philosophical concepts of these eras influenced the formation of the understanding of love in the New Time.