How to let go of the experience of the past and happily to heal? How to forget the past and start living real? It is important to know everyone

Forgiveness is a process. In order to forgive yourself for your past, you will need not one day, but sometimes, and not one month. However, it doesn't matter how much time you need to start with a clean sheet - the main thing you really want it. We offer a few simple stages that will help you leave the past in the past and with a light heart to go into a new and exciting journey called a full life.

Errors - this is also an experience

The reason why most of us experiences guilt or a sense of shame for actions committed in the past is extremely simple: decisions taken in the past have ceased to comply with our moral beliefs in the present. We have changed, and now we appreciate what they did and spoke in the past, from the position of themselves today's. What we grew up and changed is already a reason for pride. So, in fact, the mistakes committed once became the "key" to our development - it was them and a sense of shame for them determined our moral today. We have been convinced of our own bitter experience that it is impossible to do as we did, and then in the future no longer repeat annoying misses.

Past - in the past

At first glance, this statement seems obvious and therefore banal, however, when it comes to real life, we forget about it and somewhat we live the same scenario. We try to accomplish the impossible, namely - change the past, which cannot be subjected to "restorations" for one simple reason - the past no longer exists. Single way out: take the past as it is. Adoption is the only way to recovery.

Make a list of what you would like to "remake"

We never attach the meanings to this "list." Meanwhile, this is a rather effective psychological move. Imagine that you have the opportunity to return for a few hours in the past and do otherwise than you did for the first time. Think what you would do now, what would have said to those who have once offended, or maybe would be silent at all, would have walked another expensive, chose a different profession and so on - you never know about which we regret more years . No matter how surprisingly, it is precisely such a "parsing of flights" will help us to get rid of the inner stress accumulated by the years, to release steam, relax. Let me "rewind the film", analyze your mistakes - meticulous analysis, the key to the fact that you will be able to avoid unpleasant situations.

Apply from now in accordance with your moral values

The best thing you can do in order to say goodbye to your past and stop feeling a feeling of guilt - without losing a moment to start replacing your negative thoughts on positive and harmonious. Doing it, sooner or later you will come to the awareness that you can manage almost any situation as you want it. In addition, it will help you to enjoy the decisions taken, and seeing a positive result, be proud of yourself. Not so bad to raise self-esteem, you will agree.

Identify the reasons for their reflection

Once again, returning to the past, which is definitely a difficult and unpleasant task. However, to overcome himself will still have, because only turning the face to their fears, you can overcome them once and for all. Highlight those moments that are the most unpleasant, oppressive, and look at them. Imagine that the situation that once caused you a lot of pain is just an abstract story, and not your personal. Throw emotions, work with the "model" of the situation, and not a situation.

Take the obvious

With some memories who cause discomfort to us, it's not so easy to cope from the first time. Here will be required separate and fairly long work. Psychologists call it "general cleaning of consciousness." This means that it is time to talk openly with myself about my experiences, not to be afraid of the past, and try to cope with him. Yes, you made a mistake, because you are not a car, but a living person. You have the right to make misses, you are morally responsible for them, but this does not mean that you have to devote to the challenge the rest of your life.

Turn the page

As mentioned above, the past - passed, aware of the fact that it is not possible to correct the situation in the present completely. You did everything that was in your power to make it better, on this everything. The present is the best reason to flip the page and start everything first. Life goes on. Your past, no matter how terrible it, helped you become who you are today. Learn to be a grateful life for the presented lesson - an important step towards forgive yourself.

Give yourself a time to a breather

Before you master any skill, such as cycling, you will need several attempts. From the first time to master this or that occupation maybe it may except for the Wunderkind, and it is not always. The same applies to the system of your thoughts: you need time to get comfortable, you need a few attempts so that you have to get started. Be a realistic - do not rush, let yourself learn the new time. And more: on the new way, you also make a lot of mistakes. We all commit them.

Love yourself again

The last stage on the way to the new life of "without the past" - to anenately love yourself. Try to become the best friend for yourself, respect yourself, trust your intuition and most importantly - stop counting that you are the source of all problems. There are things that, alas, do not depend on us. Look for books on this topic, surround yourself with people with whom it is comfortable and remember: you are stronger than your past mistakes. Believe in yourself, you deserve it.

In people's life, there are such moments that you want to forget faster, throw away from your memory. Many would like to return to the past and change something to make their lives in a different way. But, regretful about the past never changes anything for the better. On the contrary, it steals with us joy, prevents the enjoyment of the present moment and remain happy. Therefore, from wounds of the past, unfortunately and other troubles, you need to get rid of, and the sooner, the better. How to get rid of it and start enjoying this moment? Let's consider tips to help.

1. Take a solid solution.

To leave the past behind and forever, you need to have a determination. Take the final and irrevocable decision to get rid of losses and wounds of the past, and start working on it. For this you need a strong desire. Just think about the fact that time is inexorably, and regret today about the past, you take away your real!

2. Written farewell.

Select a time when you can be alone with your thoughts, in silence and tranquility. Take a notebook or notebook, and allow everything that settled in your head, splash on paper. Write everything, all the details, feel free to expressions and words. If you want to cry, scream - do it. You need to release everything out, because only through it is the way to complete liberation.

3. Forgive your offenders.

Try to make efforts to let go from your heart pain and resentment on those people who wound you in the past. Just draw in your imagination such a plot where you meet every such person, tell him the words of forgiveness and let him go. Perhaps, for complete release, you will need not one such a mental session, but the sooner you begin to work with it, the faster you can completely free yourself and get healing.

4. Give yourself forgiveness to yourself.

If with other people it can be easier, then it is much more difficult to give forgiveness to yourself. Often we ourselves do not even realize that we carry offense in my heart. This can manifest itself in the oppressive feeling of guilt, complexes, dissatisfaction and low self-esteem. To get rid of this cargo, which you drag from your past at present and the future, you need to open your heart, and generously forgive yourself. This can help a simple exercise. Imagine that you in the past is a small child, and you are in the present - an adult, a conscious person. Arrange the meeting of these two people in your imagination, and give this child forgiveness, generously, with all my heart. Tell him thanks for the fact that thanks to his mistakes you became the one who you are today, and say goodbye forever.

5. Make a list of positive moments.

There can be such that all the past of man was one solid black stripe. In any case, even if everything was very bad, you can find positive moments. Therefore, free some time and sit at the table. Take a notebook and pen, and in detail, on items, write down all the positive things and moments that occurred in your past. When you release everything bad, take this sheet, re-read it and thank the universe for the fact that so many good things you have received thanks to your past.

6. Think about your future!

Most likely you have already been able to realize that your past is forever lost in time, and you will never be able to come back, live the length of life in a different way or something. But, you have another, good news is your future in your hands. From what decisions you will take today, it depends on what you get tomorrow. Therefore, think about your future, use the entire experience of your past, so that tomorrow brought you a lot of happiness and success!

Remember that concentrating on the past, we lose our present, we give our vital energy to what will never happen again. Therefore, let's reasonably manage your life, and allowing yourself to be happy in the present moment, no matter what happened before!

Greetings, my dear readers! Each of us has their own skeletons in the closet. We store secrets, we save our secrets and often cling to the past. But sometimes it bothers to achieve happiness in the present. Why do we do that? How to fix it? How to let go of the past and start living in real? Today I will tell you than dangerous ghosts from the past why you need to get rid of the old disorders as soon as possible and how to do it.

First I want to advise you a wonderful book: Alexander Sviyash " Start life again! 4 steps to new reality" In it, you will find not only colorful examples of how the past prevents us, but also learn how to learn how to live differently, become a completely different person and achieve inner harmony.

Ghosts from the past

Why is a person so hard to let go of the past? The past we are well acquainted, understandable, stable. I will give an example. One of my client could not forget his beloved man who left her to another woman. She knew him as the irradiated, all his, manners, that he loves, and what he hated. She was comfortable in those relationships. Therefore, she could not let it go anywhere and start something new. She was afraid.

I suggest you just communicate. Find new interesting people. You are not obliged to let them in your life, just gain positive energy from them, charge positive.

Build plans, put, tasks, try first a little success and go from one to another. Do not attempt to immediately conquer the world. Let the target be small and easily achievable.

Take care of creativity. Remember, in each person there is a brilliant potential. You are the Creator. Creator of his life. Create and be happy!

What story from the past does not give you peace? What do you do in order to start living today's day? What keeps you? What can you get rid of?

Goodbye, let go, lift the head above and go ahead.
Good luck to you!

Erase painful memories like Joel and Clementine, while still impossible, although scientists work on it. For those who are stuck in the past, one thing remains to learn to let him go. Heroine gives important tips to help you start a new life.

1. Sorry

If the one who made you hurts can offer only my apologies - accept them. It is a pity that he did not build a time car and did not return to fix everything, but let's be realistic.

Even if you never hear from a man of sense, I'm sorry. This is not weakness, but a way to get out of the situation as an adult and heal yourself.

2. Live present

How to let go of the past? Live real. It sounds logical, but in fact it is a little more complicated than it seems.

Learn to focus on the moment, fill every day events, do not leave yourself time for self-fighting. For this you need an effort, especially if you are not very strong in. Life should not be background to your memories.

3. Sorry

Sometimes we come back to the past because. All you can do is to express sincere repentance, but this is not enough. Tell what I had to say, and do not scroll your regret in my head. It will help you forget about everything and go further.

4. Put the goal

Watch the future is much more productive than all the time look around. Think about what you want, and focus on achieving your goal. Even if this is a global dream - to create a family, build a career, see many countries - you can do something for this today.

5. Recognize your role in what happened

Take yourself responsibility for everything that happened to you, and stop looking for extreme.

Realize your role - does not mean dumping all the blame on yourself. Accept what you were, even if it is unpleasant. Do not cover the phrases "I was forced", "I was misled." Stop being a toy in the hands of circumstances. Commitment with what has already been done, and dedicate the time to create a new one.

6. Go away from people who live only by the past

If someone constantly talks about the time you want to forget, it is worth saying that it is unpleasant to you. Explain that you do not need pity, reproaches, regrets and do not want to discuss this topic anymore. Those who do not understand can also leave in the past.

7. Removing lesson

If you dig in memories and past mistakes - do it with benefit. Instead of rhetorical exclamations: "Why do I all of this?", Think: "What I taught me."

It is one thing - to turn to the past to make a decision in the present, the other is aimlessly to wander in it, squandering emotions for destructive behavior.

The lesson is in everything that happens to you. And this is the only thing that memories are useful.

8. Be patient

Trust the healing process. The fact that six months has passed, and you still suffer, does not mean that you do not work.

It is pointless just to sit and wait that everything will be forgotten. Ask the Internet: "How to start everything first" and complain to girlfriends. New life will not put under the door with the note: "You deserve it." You must go and make it myself: develop, travel, creep new acquaintances and stop regret yourself.

9. May the way out of thoughts and emotions

The past is still in your head, because you did not let him go out. Write all experiences on paper and burn. Collect everything that reminds about what happened, and destroy, the better, the better. Arrange your ritual farewell with the past, put the point in this endless internal dialog.

10. Be grateful

To realize the benefit of everything that happened to you, you need time. Do not miss when it's time to understand that you have become stronger, smarter, I said goodbye to the illusions, changed the attitude of life. Be grateful for what you have now, and do not regret that I lost.

What helps you to distract from unpleasant memories?

The desire to cling to the past may be overwhelming, especially if severe pain or injury pursue you from the personal past experience. But let go of your past - useful for you, and it is extremely important if you want to get the most out of your life right now. Here are some tips in order to let go of the past and move on.

Steps

Let go in any circumstances

Meditate and pray. Calm, balanced mind is an absolute necessity when you let go of the former pain. Any source of pain will bear a strong emotional reaction, especially if this pain is caused for a long time. Meditation can bring your mind into a more emotionally stable state, and prayer can focus your mind and soul on something more than your pain.

Make a step back and be objective. When you really think about the past incident pulling you down, try to think about it from the point of view of an outsider observer, and not with your own. A person can identify itself as to what happened in the past, but a stranger without knowing your past will consider you more objectively.

• If you are haunted by something that happened in school, and you already have 20, many, if not most of the people of your today's circle of communication may not even know you then. They do not see you with a teenager; They see only the real you, and if they are your friends, they will take you as you are.

1. Take what happened. You can hide the painful past and pretend that it does not exist, but contrary to what you might think, ignoring or denial the past will not allow you to let go. When you need to spend energy to fight the past, you give it the power of your attention.

   • You may have spent years on an insignificant or degrading work, or may be regretting the earliest relations and decisions made during these relationships. Instead of worrying about how others could react if they knew about your story, come to the conclusion that it happened, and that you are now another person. Everyone who is worthy to be near, will take you a real, and not oppose your past against you.

2. Fix yourself in the present and look into the future. Release your past after you learn to take its existence. The only time that actually exists is the present, so you should focus on life in the present as much as possible. However, a look into the future can give you a motivation to go ahead.

   Be grateful. Even if your past is gloomy enough to eclipse the present, as a rule, there is at least a few things for which a person can be grateful. When you feel the temptation to focus on your negative past, transfer your focus and consciously think about things for which you can be grateful.

   • If you once suffered from food disorder or were involved in any other form of scattering, for example, think about what will instruct you back to the right way, and how thank you may be influenced. Also consider what person you have become now, passing through this dark period of your life.

3. Order yourself to recover. When the victory pain is strong enough, you may have a temptation to think that you can never heal from her. Instead of talking to yourself: "My heart will never be healed," tell me: "All pains are dulled and pass with time." Even if you first do not believe in the last, after repeating this, it is quite often enough, the idea can change the direction.

   • You can never completely recover after the loss of your loved one or pain betrayal, but when you accept the idea that you are allowed to cure and move on, some healing level can still happen.

4. Get rid of fear. If your past pain has created some fear of a certain circumstance or part of life, work actively over opposition to this fear and discarding it back. In the end, your memories of the past are not a problem. The real problem lies in how these memories affect your present and future.

   • If you missed the achievement of the main main goal or a relationship in the past, do not tell yourself that you fail in something similar in the future. The past is the past, and just because you could not do something else does not automatically mean that you will not be able to again.

5. Remove blocks. Perhaps you could not determine the consequences of your past, like "fear", but any negative feeling arising from your past is an obstacle to your future. Need this weapon you use against yourself, and the path in front will be free and easy for travel. .

   • If you do not trust people after betraying a friend or relative, work on the way to return yourself back to the world and interact with people again. Invest your trust wisely to avoid vain pain, but do not close the people completely.

6. Start with small. You do not need to defeat your past all at once. A small step forward can be as significant as a giant leap of faith forward, if not more. Return yourself to a healthy state of life can help to root positive habits.

   • If a big car accident left a feeling of anxiety when staying in the car, slowly start sitting in the car while it is parked. After that, go on a short trip for a short distance. Slowly work on this problem until you feel comfortable, being in the car for a long ride somewhere.

   Let go of past failures, errors and regret

   1. Forgive yourself. If you look at your past with a serious sense of regret or disappointment, the first thing you need to do is forgive yourself for what happened.

      • You might think it is easier to say what to do, and you will be right. Nevertheless, to speak to yourself that your past mistakes should not reflect who you are currently, is an integral part of the vacation.

   2. Believe in yourself. Last failure can damage your self-confidence, and it will be difficult for you to believe that you are able to do something worthwhile in the present or future. You must remind yourself of the abilities that you have to restore the lost trust and learn to believe in yourself and your dreams again.

      • If you have suffered a major defeat or failure in one area of \u200b\u200byour life, remind yourself of other cases, during which you have succeeded in the same area. If nothing comes to mind, think about other spheres of your life, where you may have once fought, but now succeeded.

   3. Use regret as fuel for the future. If the past regret is strong enough, you can use it to improve yourself as a person. Tell me that you will never repeat the same error again and set the sight for the future in which the past was overcome for the better.

      • In fact, everything comes down to studying on their mistakes. Some of the most effective lessons are learned from big mistakes or drops. Instead of a sense of shame, pain or fear about your past, analyze it calmly and find out how to respond to such situations in the future for the better.

   4. Think about the worst results. Past results may be bad, but often there is a possibility that the bad situation will become even worse. Think what these different worst results may be - so you can learn how to appreciate how everything turned out to be.

      • For example, if in the past mission caused a major project at work, think about what could happen if the error would not have been established, and the project would be fully failed, or what would happen if your leader decided to downgrade or dismiss you For an error.

   5. Look for hidden benefits. In many cases, even bad and unpleasant events can lead to unpredictable consequences that can actually be somewhat good.

      • Maybe a huge failure led you to another, the best way, or maybe a serious mistake strengthened the relationship in your life that you used to help you cope with the situation. If a failed novel helped you strengthen the connection between you and a relative or a friend with whom you lost a connection, it may be hidden benefit.

   6. Consider the overall picture. Your failures may seem huge to you, but in the rich palette of life they can actually make a little. Think about how your mistakes and regret correlated compared to life on a wider scale.

   Let go of a friendship and relationship

   1. Admit your feelings. If you still love the person who did hurt and left you, or if you feel very bad because of a person who is still in your life, you must admit these feelings. Before moving on, you must understand what, in fact, you are trying to move away.

      • Understand that this is normal when the sense of love is delayed after the completion of the relationship. Love is a strong emotion, in the end.
      • Anger is also completely natural, so you can feel angry and not be a bad person because of this. Anger is bad as soon as it becomes an intrusive idea, which leads to destruction.

   2. Please advise yourself. While you can and must recognize the past, you must remain in the present. Whenever you tend to thoughts to the past, you must push yourself at the present, interfering with current activities that require your attention.

      • It can be anything from a walk with friends to holidays on a sofa with a good book. While the activity allows you to focus on the present and does not threaten any harm to you - probably, this is what you need.