Types of questions and their use in psychological counseling. Basic Counseling Principles Attentive Counseling Techniques

Consultant psychologists and psychotherapists use psychotechnical means of verbal influence, i.e. the so-called "basic techniques", namely:

1 question- a way of collecting information, clarifying or researching the client's experience. With the help of a properly structured chain of questions, the therapist can understand how the client sees the problem situation, help the client express his feelings and lead him to understand the sources of his problem.

Client: "I apologized to my mother, but she is still mad at me"

Therapist: "What did you say to her?"

But many questions can turn the conversation into an exchange of questions and answers, and the client begins to wait for them and thus shifts the responsibility for the course of counseling and the topics of the problems discussed to the consultant.

Open question - an appeal to the client, suggesting a detailed answer in order to:

Research Incentives ( “Could you tell us more about it?”, “What would you like to talk about today?”);

Aid expectation surveys ( “What do you think will happen during this meeting?”, “How do you feel about coming to the sessions?”);

Studies of various aspects of the problem ( “How does this affect your relationships with others?” “How do you think this behavior affects your feeling of being overwhelmed?”);

Example search ( “When, how exactly did this happen the last time?”, “Could you, if possible, tell you step by step about what happened?”, “How did it start and what happened during the quarrel?”).

closed question - an appeal to a client that implies a short answer in order to clarify or clarify specific facts, it involves answering in one or two words ( “Do you mind if I take notes as we talk?” or “How old were you when this happened?”)

Brief question - utterances short phrases or single words with interrogative intonation: "You met her...so what?", "He doesn't know it, but why?".

"What do you mean?"; "Could you explain it in more detail?"; "What did you mean by that?"; "What were you thinking while doing this?"; “What are you feeling right now?”, “What are these feelings telling you?”; “Yeah”, “Uh-huh”, “I understand you”, “Of course”, “Yes, yes, continue”, “Tell me more”, “Well, well!”.

3. Signal of misunderstanding- a message, possibly non-verbal, of a misunderstanding of what was said. For example, interrupted head nodding or slightly furrowed brows of the therapist or short questions like: “I didn’t understand this”, “I don’t quite understand this”, or “Could you explain what you mean”, “Could you put it in other words?”.

4. Unfinished statement- this is an unfinished phrase that encourages the client to complete the sentence: "And then you thought ..."

5. Repetition- this is an almost literal reproduction of the client's statement or selective emphasis on individual words with the intention of referring to their affective semantic meaning. Repetition invites you to feel what was expressed by the client, recognize additional meanings, and express the unspoken. "Today I feel very bad. Irreparable happened." Therapist: "Irreparable...?"

6. Invitation of associations- Encouragement to freely express thoughts, memories and fantasies, to realize one’s inner experience “to tell everything that comes to his mind without criticism”, can be an appropriate intervention in case of resistance, because it allows you to better understand what caused it (“Any thoughts on this?”, “Does this remind you of something in the past when you reacted in a similar way?”)

7. Informing e - is the provision of information in the form of a statement of facts or explanations, either on their own initiative or in response to a client's question. Quite often, in search of answers to questions that concern him, the client turns to the therapist for this or that information. The demand for information stems from the notion that many of life's problems arise as a result of lack of knowledge or incorrect information.

8. Reflection of cognitive content is returning the client's message in a clearer form and/or facilitating the exploration of the client's ideas and internal representations.

9. Paraphrasing- return in a more concise and clear form, partially or completely in other words, the main content or main message of the client's statement. Paraphrasing goals: to show the client that the consultant is very attentive; crystallize the client's thought by repeating his words in a compressed form; check the correctness of the client's understanding. Begins with words; “It seemed to me that...”, “I had an assumption...”, “I heard it like this...”, “You mean that...”, “In other words...”, “As far as I understand...”, “It looks like...”

10. Clarification is an attempt to explore and achieve a shared understanding of the client's internal representations. In psychoanalysis, clarification is the first, cognitive step in which everything the patient says is not questioned, but discussed. With clarification, we receive conscious and preconscious information without challenging the patient. Asking for a concrete example is also a way of clarifying.

11.Summation- a generalizing statement, in a concise form, bringing together the main ideas, designating topics or summarizing the result achieved during the conversation. Summation helps the client to focus on the main issues: "So you told me about your relationship with your son today."

12. Reflection of feelings - verbal designation of verbally or non-verbally expressed emotions by the client in order to facilitate their expression and understanding their meaning, helps the client to come into fuller contact with their own experiences. Client: He had no right to do this to me! Does he know my life?! How could he do this to me! Therapist: So you feel anger and resentment... Through reflection of feelings, the therapist shows the client that his feelings are normal, natural, which brings relief.

Care must be taken when encouraging clients to express feelings, in particular in the following situations: the client has severe emotional distress, delusions, or marked anger and the therapist is inexperienced with such clients; The client is going through a major emotional crisis and talking about feelings will increase the pressure they can now handle. the client has experienced emotional crises in the past with difficulty; there is not enough time to work with feelings.”

Here is a list of ways the therapist can block adequate handling of the client's affects: become alarmed and change the subject; fall into silence and emotionally withdraw; interpret the meaning of feelings and deliberately distance themselves; resort to self-disclosure and go to their own feelings; reassure and reassure the client that everything will be fine; over-identifying with the client and insisting that the client make a decision or do something to deal with feelings.

13. Recognition of non-verbal manifestations- a way of focusing on non-verbally expressed emotions for the purpose of their awareness and expression, involves a response to non-verbal signals of the experienced affect. "You look like you're ready to cry."

14. Formulation of alternatives- suggestion of possible emotional reactions of the client to a particular life situation. The purpose of articulating alternatives is to provide patterns that make it easier for the client to describe their feelings. "And how did you feel when he did that? Did it offend you, did you take it for granted or...?"

15. Self-disclosure - explicit or implicit disclosure by the therapist of personal information about himself and (or) sharing with the client of his own feelings, thoughts or desires, often begins with "I-statements", a way to demonstrate to the client that he is a person, and not just a person in a professional role and helps somewhat "unload" from the distorted perception and projections of the "expert-client" relationship and thereby establish emotional contact.

16. Versatility- a message to the client that his experiences are universal in nature, with the intention of normalizing them and thereby calming. Many patients enter therapy with anxiety in their hearts, believing that they are unique in their unhappiness, that they alone have frightening and unacceptable problems, thoughts, impulses, and fantasies. Client: “I compare myself to someone else all the time - and usually not in my favor. I don’t know if I can ever feel really confident. Therapist: You are too hard on yourself. All people doubt themselves. I do not know a single person who would be completely confident in himself."

17. Disclosure of feelings here-and-now - it is sharing with the client the feelings and perceptions of his actions that the therapist experiences in communication with him. Typically, the therapist uses here-and-now disclosure of his feelings and observations to show the client his maladaptive patterns (for example, that he is acting hostile or distant, skillfully pressuring the other with arguments, but not listening to him, or being overly pleasant with all) leading to other people reacting negatively or to directly address some problem in the therapeutic relationship that is an obstacle to the therapeutic process. “I feel uncomfortable that you are constantly unhappy and never allow yourself other feelings.”

18. Direct guide - it is a way to have a direct impact on the client, to change his usual ways of responding through advice, persuasion, directive or homework.

Advice is the expression of one's own instruction or opinion on how the client should act. "If I were you, I would..." Often seeking advice is a way of avoiding contact with one's own painful feelings, an attempt to win the therapist over to one's side or shift responsibility. As a result, the councils have a bad reputation among clinicians.

" If you're looking for a job, the best place to start is probably to write and post your resume; I don't think it's a good idea to vent your anger to your boss and let it be as it is.; Maybe maybe you should talk to him about it?; Why don't you write down your questions before you meet with the doctor?"

But, there are situations where advice is appropriate, such as with clients in a state of crisis, as well as with the mentally ill who have difficulty assessing the situation realistically. Client: “I'm pregnant and don't know what to do. I discovered this the day before yesterday. Nobody knows about it yet. What should I do?"". Therapist: “So you didn’t tell anyone about your pregnancy. And, if I understand you correctly, you feel the need to take some specific action, but you don’t know which ones.”

It is wrong to give advice without finding out how they tried to cope with their difficulties ... Every therapist occasionally gives more or less disguised advice, for example, in the form of a wish-question ("Why don't you ..."); informing (“In such a situation it is useful ...”, “There is such an opinion ...”); assumptions (“Perhaps it will be better in this situation ... Maybe now it’s not worth it ...”); research (“What will happen if you ...”, “What is stopping you ...”) or checks (“Have you thought ...”, “Did it occur to you ...”)

Persuasion is a way of influencing the client's perceptions through personal influence. using facts, logic and other techniques. The technique of persuasion closely intersects with suggestion, “suggestion is the induction by a therapist (an individual in an authoritative position) of ideas, emotions, actions, etc., i.e., various mental processes in a patient (an individual in a dependent position), without taking into account the rational assessment of the latter... In contrast to suggestion, persuasion can take into account the position and objections of the client, but the therapist tries to convince the latter of the legitimacy of a different idea.

"Client: I'm a weak person. I can't change. Therapist: You've had forty years of a normal life - and, one might add, a difficult life - and only two years of depression. And even in these two years you sometimes managed to cope with troubles and problems."

A directive is a suggestion to the client to do something during the session. The simplest example of a directive is a suggestion to repeat a certain phrase.

"Client: I won't let him talk to me like that again. Therapist: I won't let that happen again. Say it again. Client: I won't let it happen in the future. I won't tolerate humiliation!"

The therapist may also suggest that the client relax or, conversely, enhance some bodily sensation. "Therapist: When you think back to your last meeting with your father, how do you experience feelings of sadness? Client: There is a lot of pressure behind my eyes. Therapist: What if you relax your eyes a little, release the pressure, and let yourself feel what your body is going through?"

Homework - asking the client to do something between sessions in order to collect relevant information, gain new experience or directly change maladaptive behavior. As homework, the therapist may have the client think about something, write down a dream, keep a mood diary, read a self-help book, talk to family members about family history, or exercise assertive behavior between sessions.

Line questions. These questions guide the mental health professional to the client's situation and are based on a linear assumption about the content of some mental phenomenon. They are based primarily on research purposes. The work of a psychotherapist is comparable here to the work of an investigator or a detective. These are questions like: “Who did this?”, “Where?”, “When?” and why?". Most interviews usually begin with a few linear questions. Often this is necessary to connect with family members through a "linear view" of a problem situation. In this way, the therapist tries to find out the specific cause of the problem. For example, a specialist may start a meeting with a sequence of linearly oriented questions similar to the following. Question to the mother: “With what problems did you come to me today?” - "Mostly because of my son's drug addiction" - "What makes you so upset?" - "I do not know". - Question to my son: “Are you having difficulties with school?” - "Not". - "Did you leave home or steal?" - "Not". - "Do you have any other illnesses?" - "Not". - "Have you been ill with something recently?" - "Not". “Do you have thoughts about death?” - "Not". -

Question for mother: "Are you feeling guilty about something?" - "Not". - To his son: “Something bothers you? What could it be?" - "I really do not know". - To the mother: “How do you figure out why your son uses drugs?” - "I do not even know. He has no desires, he abandoned his studies, playing sports. “And how long has he been like this?” - "Three months. For three months now, he has been rolling down an inclined plane. “When did it all start? Something happened?" "I can't remember anything in particular." "Did anyone try to help him?" - "Not". - "Why?" "Well, personally, I'm already fed up." - “Are you very tense yourself?” - "A little". - "And how long does everything that happens to your son worry you?"...

Linear questions about problems contribute to the formation of a clinical hypothesis: the client has some kind of disorder.

circular questions. These questions are asked so that the specialist can also understand the client's situation, but they are already based on the circular nature of mental phenomena. The motive underlying them is exploratory and revealing. The psychotherapist acts like a scientist who wants a new discovery. The leading installation in the formulation of hypotheses is interactional and systemic. An assumption is made that one phenomenon is somehow related to another. Questions are formulated to clarify stable patterns of relationships in a cybernetic chain that link a person, an object, actions, perceptions, ideas, feelings, events, attitudes, context. A systems psychotherapist might start the interview like this: “What problem brought you to us?” "I'm worried about my husband's illness." - "Who else is worried?" - "Mother-in-law." - "Who is the most?" - "I". - "Who is the least?" - "My husband". - To the husband: “What does your wife do when she is worried about your problem?” - "She "runs in", mostly about my friends." - "What are you doing or feeling about this?" - "I try to restrain myself, but inside I'm angry."

strategic questions. Questions of this type are characterized corrective function. The specialist behaves like a teacher, instructor, judge, telling family members how they are wrong and how they should behave (in an indirect form, in the form of questions). On the basis of a hypothesis formulated about family dynamics, the psychotherapist concludes that there is dysfunction in the family and, by asking strategic questions, tries to force the family to change. The directiveness of the psychotherapist may be hidden, but everything goes through context, time and intonation. Examples of asking a strategic question to a wife who is worried about her husband’s illness: “When are you going to get on with your life and start looking for a job?”, “What do you think helps most people find solutions other than getting sick?”, “What keeps you from abusing alcohol if alcoholics live in your porch?

reflective questions. Reflective questions are questions that contribute to the personal growth of an individual or family by stimulating responses that will allow family members to create new constructive attitudes and behaviors. Let us dwell in more detail on some issues from this group, since they are poorly covered in the domestic literature. Troubled families are sometimes so preoccupied with present difficulties or past injustices that they live as if they "have no future." Sometimes families living in the present or the past cannot answer reflective questions right away, but they often continue to work on them at home.

Expectations for the future influence actions and behavior in the present. Through this connection, this group of questions realizes its reflexive effects.

1) Questions focused on the future.

2) Finding out the goals of the family, personal goals or goals for others. Sample questions: “What do you plan to do for your career?”, “How long do you consider it necessary to study?”.

3) Highlighting the potential consequences that may arise when certain persistent patterns of behavior continue: “If your husband does not stop abusing alcohol, as he does now, what can happen to your relationship?”, “How about five years later?”, “What kind of relationship between father and son can be the result of this?”.

4) Study of catastrophic expectations. Questions like “What is the worst thing that can happen?”, “And if it happens, what will be terrible?” are asked. If experience (and life itself) is perceived by patients as a series of catastrophes and problems, the therapist should lead them to the perception of reality. It is a way of exposing hidden problems. Question for overprotective parents: “What are you afraid of when your daughter returns so late?” “What is the worst thing that comes to mind?”. For daughter: “What do you think scares your parents the most?”, “What terrible things, in their opinion, can happen, because of which they do not sleep at night?”. It is important that this technique be used with delicacy and consideration so that family members do not feel ridiculed by the therapist. At the same time, patients are encouraged to seek alternatives.

5) Exploring hypothetical possibilities. Question for daughter; “Do you think that your parents might be concerned about your possible use of drugs and alcohol?” “Are they afraid that you might become pregnant?” “Are they afraid to even mention their fears, assuming that this may offend you ? Questions for parents: “If you tell your daughter about your concerns, do you think that she will perceive it as a loss of trust? Like intrusion into her privacy? 6) The presentation of hypothetical possibilities allows the psychotherapist to use his own ideas in the process of co-creating the future of the "identified patient" together with the family. A question to the husband when discussing the conditions of his wife's illness: "How do you think she can sit in the accounting department with her mobility and sociability?"

7) Reviewing stories and setting dilemmas. Question to mother: “Imagine that your daughter meets a young man whom she likes very much?” To daughter: “What do you think your parents can do?”

Similar information.

The contract provides:

Awareness that a problem exists.

Having the intention to solve a problem.

Possibility of solving this problem in principle.

Availability of ways to evaluate the achievement of the result (How will you know that you have achieved the goal?)

Contract requirements:

Mutual agreement.

The competence of both parties (taking into account the condition, the presence of mental disorders, etc.).

Legality (without breaking the law).

Consultative conversation algorithm

Active listening

Impact techniques

Stages of the client's progress through the counseling process:

solution

a wish(action plan)result

complaint intention / action

goal

It is important to distinguish:

desire (what the client wants in life),

intention / goal (what the client wants + what he can)

request (what does the client want from the psychologist during the consultation),

professional contract (a subject of joint work of a psychologist and

client to achieve the client's goals in life),

readiness of the client for real changes in life for a specific

The client formulates a request to the psychologist in various form. It is useful for a psychologist to distinguish between types of client requests.

Request types:

request as a claim to a third party,

Example: I want my husband to...

request as a request for healing,

Example: I want you to make me feel better...

research request.

Example: I want to understand why...

change request (state, behavior, relationship),

Example: I want to change my relationship with my daughter.

The first two requests are not taken into work.

7 steps of active listening

3 levels of human understanding

Active listening techniques in counseling

Technique "Support - Patience".

Support is the basis of a consultative contact. You can support the client with a short phrase that means agreement and understanding. Such a phrase encourages the client to continue the story, for example: "Go on", "Yes, I understand", "Okay", "So". The reaction "Uh-huh", "Mmmm" also expresses support.

An important component of client support is reassurance and encouragement, which helps the client to believe in himself. You can express it with the help of phrases: “Very good”, “You are right”, “Don't worry about it”, etc.

The amount of support should be moderate. When there is a lot of support, it can create a dependence of the client on the consultant, which hinders the client's independent development.

Technique "Understanding-paraphrase".

To reflect the content of the client's speech, it is necessary to paraphrase his statements or summarize several statements. Thus, the client is convinced that he is carefully listened to and understood. Reflection of the content helps the client to better understand himself, to understand.

Paraphrasing is most appropriate at the beginning of counseling.

Technique structure:

You just said...

If I understand you correctly, then...

To generalize several statements, the following construction is used (summation technique):

To sum up what you said...

Paraphrasing rules:

1. The main idea of the client is paraphrased.

2. It is not allowed to distort the meaning of the client's statement, add something from yourself.

3. Avoid verbatim repetition of the client's statements (parrot effect).

4. Take into account the logical stress that the client put.

5. Remove interrogative intonation from the client’s speech (for example, client: “Maybe I should change jobs?”; Psychotherapist: “If I understand you correctly, you are thinking about changing jobs.”

Technique "Reflection of the emotional state"

Cognition and reflection of the emotional state of the client seems to be one of the main techniques of counseling. The reflection of the emotional state is closely related to the paraphrasing of the thoughts expressed by the client - the only difference is that in the latter case, attention is focused on the content, and when reflecting the emotional state, on what is hidden behind the content.

Reflection of feelings contributes to the emergence of interpersonal, emotional contact, as it shows the client that the consultant is trying to know his inner world. Reflecting feelings, one should take into account all the emotional reactions of the client - positive, negative and ambivalent.

The client may express feelings in different ways:

non-verbal;

Talk directly about your feelings;

It is not clear to express feelings;

Communicate them through metaphor.

Technique structure:

It seems to me that you (good, bad, insulting, hurt ...).

Speaking about it, you experience (resentment, joy, anger, grief ...)

Indicators of the effectiveness of the use of technology:

The psychologist does not reflect all the feelings of the client, but only those that are important in the counseling process.

The consultant identifies his feelings and the client's feelings as fully and accurately as possible.

The counselor reflects his own feelings arising in counseling.

Technique "Reflection of desire and hidden meaning."

In counseling, the psychologist seeks to move from the client's complaint to desire, and from desire to intention (what is he ready to do?).

Technique structure:

And would you like...

You can go to the desire with the help of the following questions:

What would you like to change?

How would you like it to be?

What do you want from me "here and now"?

There is some meaning behind the desire of the client. In counseling, it is important to clarify it. Clarifying hidden meaning is a simple and powerful technique. You can find out the hidden meaning with the help of questions.

What does that mean to you?

What does it give you?

What is the meaning of this for you?

Why do you need it?

Sometimes in counseling it is important to clarify what certain concepts mean to a person.

Question Techniques

Asking questions is one of the main tools in counseling.

Closed questions are used to obtain specific information and usually involve an answer in one or two words, confirmation or denial (“yes”, “no”), for example:

How old are you?

How many times a day do you experience irritation?

Are you comfortable?

Open questions suggest broader answers, they expand and deepen contact, transfer responsibility for the conversation to the client and encourage him to explore his attitudes, feelings, thoughts, that is, his inner world. For example:

What do you think of it?

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educational institution

Belarusian State Pedagogical University

named after Maxim Tank

Department of Social Psychology

Test

by discipline

Fundamentals of psychological counseling

"Techniques and techniques of psychological counseling"

5th year students

Nikiforovich Natalya Nikolaevna

Introduction

2.2 Varieties of verbal communication

2.2.1 Written speech

2.2.2 Oral speech

2.4. Varieties of non-verbal communication

2.4.1 Gestures

2.4.2 Mimicry

3.1 The concept of listening

3.2 Main types of hearing

4. Impact techniques

Conclusion

Introduction

Psychological counseling as a profession arose in response to the needs of people who do not have clinical disorders, but seek psychological help.

In psychological counseling, they primarily deal with people who experience difficulties in everyday life.

The range of problems is truly wide: difficulties at work, unsettled personal life and family troubles, poor school performance, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, painful decision-making fluctuations, difficulties in establishing and maintaining interpersonal relationships, etc.

On the other hand, psychological counseling, as a young field of psychological practice, does not yet have strictly defined boundaries; a wide variety of problems fall into its field of vision.

What is counseling?

Burks and Stafflre offered this definition: “Counseling is the professional relationship of a qualified consultant to a client, which is usually presented as a “person-to-person”, although sometimes more than two people participate in it.

The purpose of counseling is to help clients understand what is happening in their living space and achieve their goal in a meaningful way through informed choice in resolving emotional and interpersonal problems.”

There are many similar definitions, and they all include a few key points:

1) Counseling helps a person choose and act on his own discretion.

2) Counseling helps to learn new behavior.

3) Counseling promotes personal development.

4) In counseling, the responsibility of the client is emphasized, i.e. it is recognized that an independent, responsible individual is capable of making independent decisions in appropriate circumstances, and the consultant creates conditions that encourage volitional behavior of the client.

5) The core of counseling is the "counseling interaction" between client and counselor, based on the philosophy of "client-centered" therapy.

The definition of psychological counseling covers the core attitudes of the consultant in relation to the person in general and the client in particular. The consultant accepts the client as a unique, autonomous individual, who is recognized and respected for the right of free choice, self-determination, the right to live his own life. It is all the more important to recognize that any suggestion or pressure prevents the client from taking responsibility for himself and properly solving his problems.

1. Structuring the interpersonal space

interpersonal verbal counseling

Interpersonal space or communication distance is a subjective spatial criterion of people's emotional closeness. The closer the relationship is between people, the smaller the distance between those who communicate. This distance depends on the age, social status of partners, their psychological characteristics and national standards of behavior.

Gender and personality traits also determine the distance between partners. Usually women stand or sit closer to the interlocutor (regardless of his gender) than men. Mentally balanced people come closer to each other, while anxious people try to stay away. Interlocutors interested in each other reduce the distance of communication.

Usually people feel comfortable and make a favorable impression on the interlocutor when they sit or stand at a distance, in their opinion, corresponding to the distance of the dialogue. Excessively close, as well as excessively distant location, negatively affects the effect of communication.

It has been experimentally established that relatives, close acquaintances, doctors are the closest.

An excessively large distance of communication sometimes hurts the pride and dignity of a person. It may seem to him that he is unpleasant to the partner, or he may consider the partner to be arrogant. The distance between the communicants can be affected by the table, which acts as a barrier and is associated with the high status of the interlocutor. Therefore, when the listener sits on the side of the table, the conversation takes on a confidential nature. For the same reason, it is preferable for a teacher to conduct personal conversations with pupils not at the table, but in a less formal setting. Sincere, intimate revelations correspond and contribute to the "whispered" distance.

Relationships are sometimes expressed in spatial terms such as "stay away" from someone we don't like or fear, or "stay close" to someone we're interested in. Usually, the more interlocutors are interested in each other, the closer they are to each other.

There is a large amount of information that animals, birds and fish establish their habitat and protect it. But only recently it was discovered that humans also have their own protected zones and territories.

Explores the mutual placement of people and the regulation of their personal space in communication science - proxemics.

The American scientist E. Hall, one of the first in the field of studying the spatial needs of man, in 1969 published the book The Silent Language. Personal space in a particular contact is determined by the distance of communication and orientation in space (leaning, leaning back, etc.). This is the distance that people keep, and this is a biological pattern.

The dimensions of a person's personal spatial territory can be divided into four zones.

E. Hall singled out 4 interpersonal distances, each of which has near and far phases:

1. Intimate zone (0-0.45 m)

The intimate area is the most important. It is this zone that a person guards as if it were his body. It implies close communication, it corresponds to a trusting relationship | and accepted between very close people (relatives, spouses, lovers, very good friends). It can be found in sports - in those sports where there is contact between the bodies of athletes, but not necessarily positively colored.

2. Personal distance, or personal zone (0.46-1.2 m)

The personal zone is the distance that usually separates us when we are at friendly parties, intended for informal social and business relationships, with the upper limit more in line with formal relationships. This is the optimal distance for a conversation, a conversation.

3. Social distance (1.2-3.6m)

The social zone is the distance we keep from people we do not know very well, usually maintained in official and formal communication, official meetings in a work environment, settling impersonal affairs, etc.

4. Public distance (more than 3.6m)

The public area is the distance that is observed when we address a large group of people.

The size of the distance does not mean that you need to enter into communication only armed with a tape measure: it is just that people usually feel comfortable and make a favorable impression when standing and sitting at a distance corresponding to the indicated types of interaction.

There is a certain limit on the permissible distance between interlocutors. Intuitively, there is always a violation of the distance, especially in those cases when it is violated not by us, but in relation to us. In other words, when we suffer, and not when we cause inconvenience to the interlocutor. However, everyone suffers. If your interlocutor is not satisfied with the distance of the conversation you have chosen, then, in the end, not only he will suffer, but you too - you will be poorly or misunderstood.

You can notice a violation of the distance by the facial expressions of a person, he will also move, retreat from you, if there is nowhere else to go, there will be a tightness of the face and neck.

Generally, people feel comfortable and make a favorable impression when standing or sitting at a distance consistent with the above interactions.

Excessively close, as well as excessively distant position, negatively affects communication. Other people “enter” personal space in two cases:

Beloved, dear people, thus, express affection, closeness, trust;

Enemies invade personal space to attack.

In both cases, very strong feelings are experienced - pleasant or unpleasant. Both events (both the expression of love and the expression of enmity) are extremely important.

The choice of distance depends on the relationship between people, as a rule, people stand closer to those they sympathize with.

Interpersonal space affects the duration and frequency of visual contacts. The closer people are to each other, the shorter and rarer their mutual views. On the contrary, being at a distance, they look at each other and use gestures to maintain attention in a conversation.

2. Verbal and non-verbal communication. Questions in psychological counseling

2.1 Characteristics of verbal communication

Communication, contact with the interlocutor occurs in several dimensions. On the one hand, there is a verbal, speech plan in communication: words, phrases, what the interlocutors want to say to each other (but not necessarily think so). On the other hand, a person unconsciously betrays by his behavior the true attitude towards the interlocutor, intentions, his mood and emotional state.

Knowledge of sign language allows you to accurately read the interlocutor and, if necessary, use the means of non-verbal communication yourself in order to influence the interlocutor. This is important both when communicating with relatives, friends, sexual partner - and at work, with colleagues, boss or clients. Having learned more about what the interlocutor feels from his gestures, it is important to choose the right behavior strategy.

2.2 Varieties of verbal communication.

The main forms of business communication:

Business conversation is the transfer or exchange of information and opinions on certain issues or problems. Based on the results of business conversations, decision-making, the conclusion of transactions is optional. A business conversation performs a number of functions, including:

Mutual communication of employees from the same business area;

Joint search, promotion and prompt development of ideas and plans;

Control and coordination of already started business events;

Stimulation of business activity and so on.

A business conversation can precede negotiations or be an element of the negotiation process.

Business negotiations are the main means of coordinated decision-making in the process of communication between interested parties. Business negotiations always have a specific goal and are aimed at concluding agreements, transactions, contracts.

Dispute - a clash of opinions, disagreements on any issue, a struggle in which each side masters its own point of view. The dispute is realized in the form of a dispute, polemics, discussions, etc.

Business meeting - a way of open collective discussion of the problems of group specialists.

Public speaking is the transfer by one speaker of information of various levels to a wide audience in compliance with the rules and principles of constructing speech and oratory.

Business correspondence is a generalized name for documents of different content, distinguished in connection with a special way of transmitting a text.

Letters from higher organizations contain, as a rule, instructions, notifications, reminders, clarifications, requests. Subordinate organizations send messages and requests to superiors. Organizations exchange letters containing requests, proposals, confirmations, notices, messages, and so on.

Correspondence as a type of business communication is divided into proper business and often official:

Business communication is correspondence sent on behalf of one organization to another. It can be addressed to a team or to one person acting as a legal entity. Such correspondence includes commercial, diplomatic letters, etc.

A private official letter is a business message that is addressed on behalf of an individual of an organization to an individual. Business correspondence currently retains a number of ethical and etiquette norms and rules that limit its clerical nature.

Telephone conversations.

In business communication, especially in the interaction of managers and subordinates, such methods of influence as encouragement, criticism, punishment are used. The main ethical requirements for incentives are their merit and proportionality to the quality and efficiency of labor activity.

Criticism is the most common form of expressing dissatisfaction with the activities of subordinates or colleagues to work. Criticism should be objective (i.e. caused by a negative act, inept and dishonest work) and constructive, instill confidence in the employee in his abilities, mobilize for a better job.

Punishment can be carried out in the form of a reprimand, a fine, demotion, dismissal. The main ethical requirement for punishments is their inevitability for systematic and consciously admitted shortcomings.

2.2.1 Written speech

Writing is an auxiliary sign system created by humans that is used to fix sound language and sound speech. At the same time, writing is an independent communication system, which, performing the function of fixing oral speech, acquires a number of independent functions: written speech makes it possible to assimilate the knowledge accumulated by a person, expands the scope of human communication. Reading books, historical documents of different times and peoples, we can touch the history and culture of all mankind. It is thanks to writing that we learned about the great civilizations of Ancient Egypt, the Sumerians, Incas, Mayans, etc.

Speech is one of the main means of information transmission. In speech, language is realized and through it, through utterances, language performs its communicative function.

The main functions of the language in the communication process include:

communicative (information exchange function);

constructive (formulation of thoughts);

appellative (impact on the addressee);

emotive (direct emotional reaction to the situation);

phatic (exchange of ritual (etiquette) formulas);

metalinguistic (interpretation function. It is used when it is necessary to check whether the interlocutors use the same code).

The function that language performs in the process of communication is determined by the type of utterance and the choice of words. Depending on the goals pursued by the participants in communication, the following types of statements are distinguished: message, opinion, judgment, recommendation, advice, criticism, compliment, suggestion, conclusion, summary, question, answer.

2.2.2 Oral speech

Oral speech is any sounding speech.

Historically, the oral form of speech is primary; it arose much earlier than writing. The material form of oral speech is sound waves, i.e. pronounced sounds resulting from the activity of the human pronunciation organs. Rich intonation possibilities of oral speech are connected with this phenomenon. Intonation is created by the melody of speech, the intensity (loudness) of speech, the duration, increase or slowdown in the rate of speech and the timbre of pronunciation. In oral speech, the place of logical stress, the degree of clarity of pronunciation, the presence or absence of pauses play an important role. Oral speech has such an intonational variety of speech that it can convey all the richness of human experiences, moods, etc.

Perception of oral speech during direct communication occurs simultaneously through both auditory and visual channels. Oral speech is accompanied, enhancing its expressiveness, by such additional means as the nature of the gaze (alert or open, etc.), the spatial arrangement of the speaker and the listener, facial expressions and gestures. A gesture can be likened to a pointing word (pointing to some object), it can express an emotional state, agreement or disagreement, surprise, etc., serve as a means of establishing contact, for example, a raised hand as a sign of greeting.

2.3 Characteristics of non-verbal communication

In non-verbal communication, the means of transmitting information are posture, facial expressions, gestures, intonations, gaze, geographical location, etc.

Tapping objects or fingers, fidgeting in a chair, waving a leg, looking at a watch, looking past you. If a person sits on the edge of a chair, his whole body seems to be directed forward, his hands rested on his knees - he is in a hurry, or he is so tired of the conversation that he wants to finish it as soon as possible. It is better to prevent such a situation - so do not abuse the attention and patience of the interlocutor. Accurately observe the agreed time with a business partner and do not offer your company to people who do not need it at all, so as not to incur aggression and be considered a bore.

Emotional discomfort gestures:

Picking up non-existent villi, shaking off clothes, scratching the neck, taking off and putting on the ring indicate that the parterre is experiencing internal tension. He needs support and is completely unprepared to make any decisions whatsoever.

What to do? Share your own feelings - let him understand that you are on the same side with him (I was very worried before our meeting with you). Keep the conversation "about nothing" for a while, or switch to a less significant topic. You can discuss anything, starting with a beautiful client's hand or a friend's hairstyle, ending with the weather, lawn grass for a summer residence. However, be sure to listen to the answers even to routine questions, people do not like to feel that they are being communicated with formally, without really being interested in their opinion.

Therefore, when you make a request or offer, either immediately proceed to the business part of the communication, or, by asking general questions, keep the conversation going. There is nothing more repulsive in the manner of some people, when the questions on duty have already been sounded, and the answers to them are interrupted from a half-phrase. Lie gestures, when a person wants to hide something, he unconsciously touches his face with his hand - as if covering the corner of his mouth with his hand, or rubbing his nose. However, do not confuse this gesture with the gesture of boredom - when a person rests his chin or cheek on his hand or both (palms or clenched fists).

Do not show a person that you doubt his words and do not try to catch him in a lie, to prove the fact of hypocrisy. On the contrary, repeat the words he said (that is, if I understood you correctly, then), so as to leave him a path for retreat, so that he can correct you. Gestures of superiority, when you see the index finger pointing at you, the chin held high, the figure in the shape of a hand at the hips, you can make several mistakes. Either start playing along with such an important person, slouching, obsequiously nodding and agreeing with his every word, or repeat all his movements, straighten his shoulders, raise his chin (take a position of rivalry). Both options are failing.

The most effective thing, having met such a pompous person, is to emphasize his importance, while maintaining your face. For example, to state You were recommended to me as an experienced, knowledgeable specialist, or what would you do in my place? To ask such a question, of course, it is necessary to listen carefully to the answer, no matter how paradoxical it may seem to you. Notice to yourself when the tension and pomposity will subside from the partner. His face will relax as well as the whole figure, and facial features will take on a calmer, more human expression.

Non-verbal components of behavior include gestures, postures, facial expressions, smells, intonations, and some others that are more difficult to read. Facial expressions are usually easily interpreted intuitively: a smile, a frown are facial expressions known to us since childhood. On the other hand, a person quite often subordinates facial expressions to conscious control: he restrains mockery, hides fear behind a grimace of superiority. It is useful to know, however, that, for example, looking away means doubt, hesitation, uncertainty - and looking at the ceiling is a memory.

2.4 Varieties of non-verbal communication

Non-verbal (wordless) communication plays an extremely important role in our lives. According to some data, we receive from 60 to 80% of the information from the interlocutor through a non-verbal channel.

Non-verbal means of communication are extremely diverse.

The main ones include:

1) visual,

2) auditory,

3) tactile,

4) olfactory.

1. The main visual means of communication are studied by kinesics. It considers the reflection of a person's behavior, intentions in his non-verbal manifestations.

The main visual means of communication include:

Body movements, gait features, etc., usually called pantomime;

Spatial and temporal organization of communication (distance to the interlocutor, angle of rotation to him, personal space, etc.), called proxemimics;

Facial expression, eye expression;

Posture, posture, head position;

Direction of gaze, visual contacts;

Skin reactions - redness, pallor, sweating;

Emphasizing or hiding body features (signs of gender, age, race);

Means of transforming the natural physique (clothing, hairstyle, cosmetics, glasses, jewelry, tattoos, mustache, beard, etc.)

2. There are two groups of auditory means of communication:

Paralinguistic, characterizing the quality of the voice, its range, tonality, (intonation, volume, timbre, rhythm, pitch). Paralinguistic means are also called "vocal facial expressions";

Extralinguistic (speech pauses, laughter, crying, sighs, coughing, clapping)

3. Tactile means of communication include everything related to the touch of interlocutors (shaking hands, hugs, kisses, claps on the shoulder, etc.)

4. Olfactory means of communication include:

Pleasant and unpleasant environmental odors;

Natural and artificial human scent.

Each specific culture leaves a strong imprint on non-verbal means of communication, therefore there are no general norms for all mankind. Along with international non-verbal manifestations of attitude towards another person (for example, a smile, a handshake, etc.), there are also purely national, regional ones. In addition, the frequency of non-verbal manifestations among different peoples is also not the same.

For example, during an hour of communication, a Finn makes an average of two gestures, a Frenchman - eighty, an Italian - one hundred and ten, a Mexican - more than one hundred and sixty. That is why the non-verbal language of another country has to be learned in the same way as the verbal one.

According to the nature of communication, communicating are distinguished:

Direct communication as face-to-face contact;

Indirect, as incomplete psychological contact with the help of written or technical means that delay in time or at a distance the receipt of feedback between the participants.

By the number of people participating in communication, they distinguish:

Interpersonal communication, i.e. direct contacts of people in groups or pairs, constant in composition of participants;

Mass communication, i.e. many direct contacts of strangers, as well as communications mediated by various types of media.

According to the inclusion in the process of communication of social terms, there are:

Interpersonal communication (communication between specific individuals with unique individual qualities that are revealed to another in the course of communication and organization of joint actions; the social roles of the communicants play an auxiliary role in such communication);

Role communication (communication between carriers of certain social roles). In this communication, a person loses a certain spontaneity of his behavior, since certain steps, actions, are dictated by the role played. In the process of such communication, a person is reflected not so much as an individual, but as a kind of social unit that performs certain functions.

However, the social role itself does not determine the entire course of communication to the smallest detail. It prescribes how to conduct communication in the main, in the main, thereby leaving a certain "range of possibilities" for one's performance of a specific social role.

In other words, role-playing communication not only does not deny, but also involves the introduction of personal moments in this communication. True, they introduce a subordinate character in relation to the social role.

Business communication can be carried out in various styles.

There are three main styles:

1) ritual style, in accordance with which the main task of partners is to maintain contact with society, reinforcing the idea of oneself as a member of society. In ritual communication, a partner is only a necessary attribute, his individual characteristics are insignificant, in contrast to following a role - social, professional, personal;

2) a manipulative style, in which the partner is treated as a means of achieving goals external to him. A huge number of professional tasks involves precisely manipulative communication. In fact, any training, persuasion, management always includes manipulative communication;

3) the humanistic style, which is aimed at a joint change in the ideas of both partners, involves the satisfaction of such a human need as the need for understanding, sympathy, empathy.

Humanistic communication is determined not so much from the outside (goal, conditions, situation, stereotypes), but from the inside (individuality, mood, attitude towards a partner). In this communication, more than in other types, there is a dependence on individuality.

Each person has his own individual style, or model of behavior and communication, which leaves a characteristic imprint on his actions in any situation. Individual style depends on individual characteristics and personality traits, life experience, attitude towards people, as well as on the type of communication characteristic of a given society.

2.4.1 Gestures

Gestures - movements of the body, usually the hands, which generally reflect a thought or feeling.

Gestures-symbols are very limited within the framework of a particular culture or locality, and are the simplest methods of non-verbal communication.

Illustrative gestures - used to explain what was said (for example, pointing with a hand), they are also simple non-verbal communication techniques.

Gestures-regulators - play an important role at the beginning and end of a conversation. One of these gestures-regulators is a handshake. This is a traditional and ancient form of greeting. These gestures are more complex methods of non-verbal communication.

Gestures-adapters - accompany our feelings and emotions. They resemble children's reactions and manifest themselves in situations of stress, excitement, become the first signs of experiences - nervous sorting, tapping with a foot, a pen, etc.

2.4.2 Mimicry

Facial expressions - a set of movements of parts of a person's face, expressing his state or attitude to what he perceives (represents, ponders, recalls, etc.).

Facial expressions are the movements of the muscles of the face. It should not be confused with physiognomy (the science by which the shape of the face can be used to judge the mental properties of a person). As established by Darwin, human facial expressions are rooted in the animal world. Animals and humans have many common facial expressions - the facial expressions of fear, fright, anxiety, etc. However, a person has specific feelings and their facial expressions - a state of inspiration, admiration, sympathy, enthusiasm, etc. Many human expressive means developed from movements that had an adaptive value in the animal world.

Thus, the expression of hatred in a person by lifting the upper lip is phylogenetically connected with the frightening exposure of fangs in an animal preparing for a fight.

Mimicry is associated with the spread of an intense excitatory process to the motor zone of the cerebral cortex - hence its involuntary character. At the same time, a corresponding excitation of the entire sympathetic nervous system occurs. Expressing dissatisfaction, we compress our lips and pull them forward, wrinkling our face - all these movements are also made in cases where the rejection reflex of unsuitable food is triggered. This indicates that many of our facial expressions are genetically related to organic sensations.

3. Types of listening. Listening Techniques

3.1 The concept of listening

Verbal communication consists of two processes - listening and speaking. We are accustomed to believing that communication is primarily a conversation and we call a silent person uncommunicative. This representation is one of the main stereotypes of perception. In fact, a person who knows how to listen is considered a good interlocutor.

Moreover, there is a huge difference between whether we hear our interlocutor or listen to him. These concepts should not be confused: if we hear the voice of the interlocutor, but do not delve into the content of his speech, then this will mean that we hear, and do not listen to the interlocutor. Listening means not only delving into the content of the interlocutor's speech, but also perceiving the true message, which may be hidden, pondering the interlocutor's words, analyzing the interlocutor's state and the reasons that pushed him to this or that statement.

However, experimental research by psychologists shows that most people do not have effective listening skills and perceive the speech of the interlocutor only superficially (if they perceive it at all). And only 10% of people have the ability to listen to the interlocutor, to delve into the essence of the message and the feelings and thoughts underlying this message. It is interesting that women have the best listening abilities, while men are more inclined to listen to themselves and often interrupt the interlocutor, considering the conversation as an opportunity to “show themselves”, as a kind of competition.

Why don't we listen when the ability to listen can give us the opportunity to learn new information, not to mention the fact that it can reveal to us the inner world of the interlocutor? The reasons for this are rather trivial:

We do not want to waste time and energy on listening to the interlocutor.

We do not listen if we have an unshakable opinion on the issue at hand.

We don't listen if we think we're experts on the problem at hand.

We do not listen if we are afraid of criticism in our address (namely, criticism should be listened to in the most attentive way).

So what is the right way to listen? What are the conditions for effective listening?

When talking with another person, you need to remove extraneous thoughts;

In the process of listening, it is necessary to analyze the information hidden in the speech of the interlocutor, the reasons that pushed him to the conversation;

While the interlocutor is speaking, one cannot think over counterarguments, this can be done in pauses, since the speed of thinking is about 4 times the speed of speech;

You need to try to overcome the desire to change the subject, especially if the conversation is not pleasant (otherwise the time to dot all the "and" will be lost and your business relationship with this person may be ruined forever, while the cause of the discord may be ephemeral - rumor, false interpreted gestures and words);

In no case do not interrupt the interlocutor;

Focus on the essence of the conversation.

But it is important not only to listen carefully, but also to show it.

There are several ways to show that you are listening to your interlocutor.

Firstly, you need to turn to face the interlocutor (and not stand sideways to him, because this is a sign of disinterest), but if you are sitting, then you can’t sit lounging (this is a sign of disrespect), it’s better to sit straight.

Secondly, your posture must be open, i.e. arms and legs should not be crossed.

Thirdly, the interlocutor should be supported with a look, i.e. look at the speaker, but, of course, not intently.

In general, a more favorable impression is formed about a person who does not avoid looking into the eyes of his interlocutor.

3.2 Main types of hearing

There are two types of listening - non-reflective and reflective.

Non-reflexive listening is the first stage in mastering the technique of listening, i.e. is attentive silence without interfering with the speech of the interlocutor or with minimal interference.

In non-reflexive listening, contact with the interlocutor is maintained non-verbally and with simple phrases, for example: “Yes”, “I understand”, “uh-huh”, “why”, etc. Non-reflective listening is very often the only thing the interlocutor needs, since everyone wants to be heard first of all. This is an example. Participants in one experiment were asked to record their speech on any topic on a tape recorder. For this, they were offered payment, which depended on the time during which the speech lasted. Some participants spoke for several days in a row. Feeling better as some of them got their first opportunity to speak out, many refused to pay and decided that a tape recorder was better than any conversationalist.

Even with non-reflexive listening, communication with the interlocutor can be greatly facilitated, because even a slight sign of attention encourages you to continue the conversation, and neutral phrases relieve tension (remember how you yourself feel when you speak, and the interlocutor does not utter a word!).

Non-reflective listening is appropriate in the following cases:

If the interlocutor wants to express his point of view;

If the interlocutor talks about his problems;

In tense situations;

When talking with a superior in position (if, for example, your boss criticizes you).

Thus, non-reflexive listening is used mainly for non-debatable conversations, or when there is a threat of a conflict situation. Listening is especially important for leaders. Studies show that in those firms in which the leader is able to listen to his subordinates, labor productivity is much higher than in firms whose leader speaks beautifully, but does not know how to listen.

However, as a rule, in business communication, one non-reflective listening is not enough, so you must always remember that it is only the first stage in mastering the technique of listening. The second step is reflective listening.

Reflective listening is a type of listening that involves, in addition to listening to the meaning of what is being said, deciphering the true message encoded in speech and reflecting the opinion of the interlocutor.

Reflective listening involves the use of the following methods of supporting the interlocutor:

Clarification, clarification;

Paraphrase, that is, repeating the words of the interlocutor in your own words to make sure that you understand him correctly;

Motivation;

Continuation, that is, wedging into the interlocutor's phrase and ending it in your own words, or suggesting words;

Evaluations: “your offer is tempting”, “I don’t like it”;

Summary.

3.3 Steps and rules for effective listening

The process of effective listening consists of three steps.

1. Informational

2. Clarification

3. Final

In a business conversation, try to apply the following rules of effective listening:

Be attentive and show the interlocutor that you are attentive.

Try to focus not only on the meaning of what the interlocutor said, but also on the true message, which is most often hidden.

Listen without interrupting, let the interlocutor talk.

Take your time with assessments and conclusions, first make sure what exactly your interlocutor had in mind.

Avoid saying “I understand you” to the interlocutor, since this phrase is almost always perceived negatively, it is best to directly indicate the emotion or feeling that your interlocutor is experiencing.

If your interlocutor shows excessive emotionality, listen only to the meaning of what was said, do not fall under the power of emotions yourself, otherwise you will regret the decision made in this state for a long time.

When answering a question, make sure that the interlocutor specifically wants to know, otherwise you may give unnecessary or unnecessary information.

If the purpose of the conversation is to make a decision, use reflective listening.

4. Impact techniques

4.1 Consultant's leverage

The possibilities of professional influence of a consultant are unusually wide and varied, but the main among them, undoubtedly, is verbal contact with a client, more precisely, a consultative conversation. This type of conversation is different from what is usually encountered in life, and mastering such skills at a professional level is a real art. This will be discussed in more detail in the following sections. In the meantime, let's say that a professional conversation is a complex structure built from various kinds of techniques and techniques used by a professional in order to achieve the appropriate effect. An important role among them is played by the techniques of conducting a consultative conversation, such as the approval of the client's opinions, stimulating statements, the brevity and clarity of the psychologist's speech, etc. The correct use of these techniques ensures the effectiveness of the psychological impact, the possibility of establishing and developing contact between the client and the consultant.

An important role in the process of counseling is played by techniques and techniques aimed at solving various special problems that arise during the reception. Among them are a variety of questions aimed at changing and correcting the client's position, homework with a clear prescription of what and how the client should do, discussions focused on the client making a particular decision, etc. For the most part, these techniques are closely related to the process of conversation, directly follow from it and do not act as something special, specific for the client. Mastering this kind of techniques and techniques, enriching the palette of statements and ideas of a consultant is largely determined by the experience and familiarity of a professional with various theoretical works on psychotherapy and counseling, as well as his professional communication with colleagues.

A special group of counseling techniques are methods and techniques that act for the client as special tasks and exercises that change or deepen the course of the conversation. These include, for example, the “empty chair technique” developed in the framework of Gestalt therapy, “contracting” practiced in the framework of marital and family therapy. The use of these techniques is largely determined by the theoretical orientation of the consultant, as well as the nature of the problems that the client addresses. Professional acquaintance with a wide range of such techniques is, in a sense, a criterion for the skill of a consultant, his professional competence. They undoubtedly enrich the consultative conversation, make it more emotional and dynamic.

In addition to verbal means of influence, the consultant must also master a wide range of non-verbal means, including eye contact, voice characteristics, and posture. Most often, the use of these tools does not serve to achieve any specific goal, but ensures the process of counseling as such, relieving the client's stress, ensuring his comfort and contact with the consultant. The most important condition for successful psychological impact is the correct organization of the conversation.

4.2 Counseling procedures and techniques

Asking a question is an important counseling technique used for two purposes: getting information about the client and encouraging him to introspection.

As you know, the questions are divided into open and closed. closed questions are used to obtain specific information about the client and usually require a one or two word answer, affirmative or negative. Open-ended questions are not so much about learning about the lives of clients as they are about discussing feelings.

Any question must be justified - asking it, you need to know for what purpose it is asked.

Approval and reassurance techniques are very important in creating and strengthening a consulting contract. You can cheer up the client with a short phrase that means agreement or understanding. Such a phrase encourages the client to continue the story. Support is expressed by approval. Reassurance, together with approval, allows the client to believe in himself and take risks, changing some aspects of the self, experiencing new ways of behaving.

Cognition and reflection of the client's feelings seem to be one of the most important counseling techniques. The reflection of feelings is closely related to the paraphrasing of the feelings expressed by the client - the only difference is that in the latter case, attention is focused on the content, and in the reflection of feelings - on what is hidden behind the content. Wishing to reflect the feelings of the client, the consultant carefully listens to his confessions, paraphrases individual statements, thereby focusing on the feelings expressed by the client in the confession.

The ability to remain silent and use silence for therapeutic purposes is one of the most important skills in counseling. While silence in counseling sometimes means a breach of the counseling contract, it is nonetheless deeply meaningful. For a counselor who has learned to be sensitive to different meanings of silence, to silence in general, and who has learned to consciously create and use pauses in counseling, silence becomes especially valuable.

The goals of counseling are achieved by providing the client with information: the consultant expresses his opinion, answers the client's questions and informs him about various aspects of the problems discussed.

Each client is not an open book, but an unknown country where everything is new and difficult to understand at first. Although somehow the technique of interpretation helps the consultant to navigate in this unknown country. It is very important in counseling to bring out more than what is contained in the client's superficial narrative. Interpretive statements of the consultant give a certain meaning to the expectations, feelings, behavior of the client, because they help to establish causal relationships between behavior and experiences.

Every counselor has to confront clients from time to time for therapeutic purposes. By confrontation, they try to show the client the methods of psychological protection used in an effort to adapt to life situations, but which oppress, limit the formation of the personality. At the center of the confrontation is usually the client's interpersonal communication style, reflected in the consulting contract.

Structuring means organizing the consultant's relationship with the client, highlighting the individual stages of counseling and evaluating their results, as well as providing the client with information about the counseling process. Having completed one stage, the consultant discusses the results together with the client and draws conclusions.

Conclusion

It is very important for a consultant to be able to clearly justify the adequacy of each technique that he uses in group work. A variety of strategies and intervention techniques have been described, proposed by some theories. These techniques are aimed at achieving change, as well as providing and exploring interaction. They can be used ethically and achieve a therapeutic effect, but there is always the possibility of misuse of these techniques.

Counselors work unprofessionally if they use techniques with which they are not familiar, pursue their own goals, try to increase their power over the group through specific techniques, or put pressure on the group. The essence of the ethical problem is that the counselor should use methods of emotional stimulation without exploiting the members of the group.

Many of the techniques used in the group facilitate the manifestation of intense emotions and are aimed at this. By learning to rationally justify the use of each technique for yourself, you can effectively and correctly use them.

Receptions should encourage self-exploration and self-understanding of the client. Ideally, they should approach the client's unique situation and help them experiment with new behaviors. It is important that techniques are introduced into the process on time and with respect for the client.

List of sources used

1. Aleksandrov A.A. Psychotherapy: Textbook. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2004. - 480 p.

2. Braim M.N. Ethics of business communication. - Minsk, 1996.

3. Introduction to practical social psychology. Ed. Zhukova Yu. M. 1996

4. Golub I.B., Rozental D.E. A book about good speech. - M.: 1997.

5. Debolsky M. Psychology of business communication. - M., 1991.

6. Corey D. Theory and practice of group counseling / Per. from English. E. Rachkova. - M.: Eksmo Publishing House, 2003. - 640 p.

7.Kochyunas R. Psychological counseling and group psychotherapy. - M.: Academic Project: Gaudeamus, 2005. - 464 p.

8. The luxury of human communication A. Borisov, 1998

9. Handbook of a practical psychologist: Psychotherapy / comp. S.L. Solovyov. - M.: AST, 2005.- 575 p.

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Building a rapport with a customer with questions

The questions that the teacher-psychologist asks the client are aimed at solving a number of problems:

Customer contact support;

Receiving the information;

Revealing feelings;

Testing or refinement of hypotheses.

The skill of formulating questions occupies one of the main places among the professionally important skills of a teacher-psychologist. Questions are the most important element of the conversation and the main means of obtaining information from the client.

The teacher-psychologist during the consultation asks the client various questions aimed at achieving certain goals.

Table 2.3 - Purpose of questions

Purpose of the question	Question type	Examples
Receiving the information	Analysis of the situation and its causes; specification; identifying the client's ideas about the causes of dysfunctions that have arisen	When did it happen? Why do you think this is happening? What do you think led to...?
Stimulating the client for a more detailed story	Encouraging clients to illustrate their story with examples	Can you talk about any specific situation?
Testing therapeutic hypotheses	Identification of patterns in the functioning of the client	Did I understand correctly that every time you enter the classroom, your level of anxiety increases?
Revealing the client's feelings	Obtaining information about the nature of the client's emotional experiences	What did you feel at that moment? Do you get upset when you get a low grade?
Resource identification	Identification of the strengths of the client, his ability to reorganize	Do you remember if someone close to you was in a similar situation? How did he deal with her?

Open questions usually begin with the words “what”, “how”, “why”, “could”, “and if”. They require a detailed response from the client, since it is difficult to answer them with “yes” or “no”. Open-ended questions provide an opportunity to obtain important information about the nature of the client's difficulties. For example, an open-ended question: "Can you tell me what you expect from counseling?" allows the client to formulate his answer without restrictions.

The teacher-psychologist needs to maintain a sense of tact and measure when questioning the client. The “why” question is especially disturbing and makes the client want to defend himself. In addition, this question activates the protective mechanism of rationalization: usually a person has already thought about this problem and built a system of explanations for himself.

Closed questions usually include the particle "li". They contain the wording of the answer or its variants. They can be answered "yes" or "no". Closed questions are used to collect information, as well as to find out something, to focus attention, to narrow the area of judgments. A closed question, as a rule, prevents the client from evading the topic of conversation. But when used frequently, closed questions can also cause anxiety.

When choosing one or another wording of the question, certain limitations must be taken into account. For example, closed questions run the risk of narrowing down the range of possible answers significantly. This is especially important to consider when working with easily suggestible clients. However, the use of closed questions can sometimes be a useful technique to help the client express socially disapproved attitudes. When alternative answers are given side by side, the very form of the question may suggest to the client that they are both equally socially acceptable.

Without asking the client questions, information about him can be obtained using techniques such as minimal reinforcement, support, retelling, reflection of feelings.

Minimal reinforcement (response minimization, non-intervention)- microtechnique, which is the use by the teacher-psychologist of those "minimal" means of communication that allow you to maintain a dialogue with the client. The cues of the teacher-psychologist allow the client to speak without coercion, openly and freely. These include statements like: “I understand”, “Go on, this is interesting”, “Tell me more”, etc. These remarks contribute to the development and deepening of interaction with the client. They relieve tension from him, help the teacher-psychologist to express interest, understanding or express approval.

Repeat (support)- this is a direct repetition of what the client said, or short comments (“well, well”, “so”, “uh-huh”, “tell me more”). This technique facilitates the conversation and supports its main course, provides the least intrusive intervention of the teacher-psychologist in the client's world. Repetition or encouragement is a direct way of demonstrating to the client that the therapist is listening and listening.

Paraphrasing (paraphrase)- formulating the client's thoughts in other words. Paraphrasing is always a certain risk for an educational psychologist, since you can never be sure that you understand another person correctly. The purpose of paraphrasing is to test how accurately the therapist understands the client. There are standard statements with which paraphrasing often begins: “As I understand it ...”, “Do you think ...”, “In your opinion ...”, “In other words, you think”, “If I understand correctly, you are talking about ...” and others

When paraphrasing, the focus is on the ideas, thoughts, meaning of what was said, and not on the feelings and emotions of the client. It is important that the therapist be able to express the client's thoughts in their own words.

retelling is a concise summary of the main words and thoughts of the client. It conveys the objective content of the client's speech, reformulated by the educational psychologist, and the most important words and phrases must be used. Paraphrasing helps to bring together different points of the conversation. The retelling technique often has a therapeutic effect, as the client can once again hear key thoughts and phrases aimed at clarifying the essence of their problems. Paraphrasing, in essence, is the use of paraphrasing techniques for large amounts of information.

Reflection of feelings. This technique is similar to retelling, but retelling refers to the facts, and the reflection of feelings - to the emotions associated with these facts. It is important that the educational psychologist be able to note for himself the emotional states, feelings and experiences of family members. Reception of reflection of feelings can be divided into parts: say the name of the client (this personalizes the reflection); communicate your assumptions about his feelings: cliché sentences (Irina, you seem to feel ashamed). Often the context of the experience is added. "Pure" reflection of feelings does not include the context of experience.

Clarification (clarification, clarification)- microtechnics that helps to make the client's message more understandable for the teacher-psychologist. The psychologist addresses the client with a question or request to clarify what he said. The following key phrases can be used: “Will you repeat it again?”, “I don’t understand what you mean”, “Please explain again”, “I’m not entirely clear what you are talking about”, “ Can you explain this in more detail?" and etc.

To clarify the message, you can use closed questions, for example: “Are you offended?”, “Would you like to change the situation?”, “Is that all you want to say?” However, be aware of the limitations associated with the use of closed questions, which sometimes activate the client's defenses. More preferable are open questions or statements like “I didn’t quite understand you,” etc. In this case, the educational psychologist does not make his own interpretations, remains neutral to the message and expects it to be more accurately conveyed.

Awareness of meaning (meaning) connected with the study of what this situation means for the client. When realizing the meaning, the deep, underlying meanings of words are analyzed. The client reinterprets his experiences. Awareness of the meaning goes along with interpretations, which relate to the microtechniques of influence. Interpretation provides the client with alternative constructions by which the problem can also be considered. When understanding the meaning, the client is able to find a new interpretation or meaning of the previous facts and situations.

Summary (summarizing) allows the educator-psychologist to summarize the main thoughts and feelings of the client. A summary is a microtechnique that allows you to “combine” into a semantic unity the ideas of the client, the facts from his life, the feelings experienced, the meaning of the problem situation. The educational psychologist analyzes everything that has been said before by him and the client, and then presents the client in a finished form with the main points regarding the content of the polylogue between them. The summary gives the psychologist the opportunity to check the accuracy of the perception of the client's messages. The summary is usually formulated by the educational psychologist in his own words, however, standard introductory words can be used, for example: “What you told me about indicates ...”, “As I understood from your story ...”, “The main points of your story are ... ".

A summary is useful at the end of a session when you want to briefly summarize everything the client has said.

Focus analysis is an important micro-technique of listening. In focus analysis, the teacher-psychologist reflects the main theme of interaction with the client.

The following focus selection directions are possible:

1. Focus on the client. “What did you do?”, “What do you feel?”, “Do you think…”, etc.

2. Focus on the problem. The main attention is paid to the problematic situation, the conditions for its emergence and development, and the impact on the client's life.

3. Focusing on the educational psychologist. Self-centeredness is useful as a self-disclosure or feedback technique, helping to develop a sense of trust in clients.

4. Focus on commonality: "we are the focus": "What did we achieve during today's meeting?", "I like the way we interact today."

5. Cultural-context focus: "This worries many students", "Many students experience such difficulties at this stage of their lives."

Based on the above microtechniques, there are several types of listening.

Non-reflective listening (passive listening, the principle of silence) - this is the most basic kind of listening. It consists in the ability of the teacher-psychologist to remain silent, remaining attentive and not interfering with the client's story or activity. This process can be called passive only conditionally, since it requires great attention from the teacher-psychologist. “Non-reflexivity” is also a conditional concept, since at the same time the educational psychologist remains in contact with himself, his feelings, continues to build therapeutic hypotheses or consider a further strategy for working with the client.

There are different types of non-reflective listening. The first involves the exclusion of any actions on the part of the teacher-psychologist: nodding his head, "uh-huh-listening", support. In another variant, in the course of non-reflexive listening, the educational psychologist can express understanding, approval, support, use minimal reinforcement microtechniques.

Non-reflective listening is an indispensable tool in situations where:

The psychologist needs to form an idea about the client;

The client is in a situation of strong emotional arousal;

It is difficult for the client to clearly articulate their existing problems;

The client needs to speak out and they are not yet ready to listen to comments, questions and remarks;

The client experiences grief or loss, and experiences feelings such as anger, disappointment, fear, resentment.

Reflective (active) listening is used by the educational psychologist in order to more accurately understand the essence of the message. Most of the words in our language are ambiguous, many have synonyms. This creates certain difficulties in understanding, since the same word can be perceived differently by the speaker and the listener. Thus, the psychologist needs to "decode", "decode" the client's message.

The educational psychologist supports the client in his ability to analyze, consider the situation from different angles and make a decision suitable for it, but at the same time he does not give advice and does not suggest what exactly to do to the client in these situations. The goal of reflective listening is to be as accurate as possible about what a particular client is saying.

The teacher-psychologist uses mainly the skills of clarification, support, paraphrasing, reflection of feelings, summary.

Empathic Listening includes the ability to respond to another person (client) with the emergence of empathy. empathy- this is the comprehension of the emotional state of another person in the form of empathy, understanding and acceptance of the content that he is trying to comprehend and realize.

Empathy is characterized by experiencing a special relationship with another person. The basic rule of empathic listening is not empathy, but empathy, that is, the creation of an emotional resonance with the experiences of the client. The goal of empathic listening is to understand the other person's feelings as accurately as possible. At the same time, the psychologist does not diagnose and does not evaluate the client, since the main goal of empathic listening (according to K. Rogers) is to be in the world of another person's feelings, and not to impose their own feelings on him. Empathic listening involves the psychologist understanding the client's feelings and conveying that understanding to the client. In empathic listening, the same techniques are used as in reflective listening: support, verbal following, clarification, paraphrasing, summary.

In addition to the micro-techniques of listening, there are techniques for influencing the client.

Impact techniques- these are methods of active involvement of a teacher-psychologist in the process of solving the client's actual life problems. All counseling theories are based on the fact that the psychologist acts as an agent of change and personal growth of clients. In the case when the educational psychologist uses special methods of influence, changes can occur faster and more efficiently.

Impact techniques are closely related to listening techniques. When influencing the client, the educational psychologist maintains visual contact, uses non-verbal signals (nods his head, gesticulates, changes the spatial arrangement, etc.). Techniques of influence (influence) are usually divided into a series of microtechniques of communicative practice, such as directive, confrontation, interpretation and self-disclosure (A. Ivey et al.).

It is much more difficult to master the techniques of influence than the techniques of listening. This requires the guidance of an experienced supervisor. Impact techniques are more effective when used infrequently in a reasonable combination with listening methods.

Interpretation is the main tool of psychoanalysis and is widely used in counseling. According to R. Greenson, “to interpret means to make an unconscious phenomenon conscious… Through interpretation, we go beyond what can be directly observed and attach meaning and causality to a psychological phenomenon” (R. Greenson, 2003, p. 57.).

The starting point for interpretation is the psychological theory on which the psychologist bases his work. Interpretation is not used often, as it usually challenges the client's point of view on the problem. Speaking about interpretation, I would like to refer to the now classic phrase of D. Winnicott: “... I make an interpretation, pursuing two goals. First, to show the patient that I am awake. Secondly, to show the patient that I can be wrong.”

R. Menninger wrote about the complexity and correctness of using interpretations: psychologists “would do well to recall that they should act not as oracles, magicians, linguists, investigators involved in the “interpretation” of dreams, but only as observers, listeners and - sometimes - commentators" (R. Menninger, 1958).

Directive- the most powerful of the impact techniques. When using a directive, the psychologist tells the client what action to take.

Different theories use different kinds of directives, for example:

Free associations: “Remember and tell what moments from your childhood this feeling is associated with…”;

Gestalt method of working with an empty chair: “Imagine that your teacher is sitting in this chair. Tell him everything you think and feel. Now sit down in this chair and answer yourself on his behalf”;

Fantasizing: “Imagine that 5 years have passed ... You are in the future ... In front of you is a young woman ... This woman is you ... Come closer to her ... Look at what she is wearing, how she looks ... What is she doing? How does he live? You can ask her about something important…”

Relaxation: “Close your eyes… Feel your body… Relax your facial muscles…”

Wishes: "I would like you to do the following..."

The psychologist can give instructions to clients, suggesting certain changes in behavior (training of behavioral skills), language substitutions (“must” with “want” and “don’t want”). It must be remembered that the use of directives is possible only after establishing contact between the psychologist and the client.

Confrontation.

The term "confrontation" has 2 meanings:

1) stand opposite, look in the face and

2) hostilely resist, be in opposition.

For a psychologist, the first meaning of the term is the main one, since confrontation is not an aggressive intrusion into the client's space and should not lead to polarization of relations with him.

During confrontation, the educational psychologist draws the client's attention to those facts in his story that are contradictory, inadequate. Important for understanding confrontation are the concepts of "disagreement" or "incongruity". The client gives double messages during the interview (yes…but); demonstrates opposite or contradictory feelings and thoughts. The psychologist points out these double messages to the client and thus confronts the client with the facts. The purpose of counseling is the identification and confrontation of the main contradictions of the client.

Having noticed contradictions in the client's story, the psychologist can use the following template: "On the one hand you think (feel, act) ..., but on the other hand you think (feel, act ...)". The psychologist also raises the question of the possible significance of this behavior of the client for his life at the moment. In this way, you can use the client's ability to look at things from a different point of view, to establish the nature of the connection between different topics in his story. It is important to note the client's reaction to confrontation: whether he is able to experience empathy for the psychologist, which reflects his understanding of this contradictory situation. Confrontation is a method that requires tact and patience.

Confrontation maintains a balance between methods of observation and influence. It becomes more effective when presented in the form of a complex retelling or reflection of feelings. Confrontation can be achieved through both observational and influencing methods, but when it occurs within the framework of a retelling or generalization, there is still room for the client's personal growth. It takes a careful balance of confrontation with the right amount of warm, positive attitude and respect.

Self-disclosure- This is a technique of influence based on the fact that the educational psychologist shares personal experience and feelings or shares the feelings of the client. It is connected with the feedback technique and is based on the "I-statements" of the specialist.

Different counseling systems use different microtechniques in different proportions. The qualification of an educator-psychologist consists of an understanding of the general structural model of counseling and competence in microtechnics, as well as the ability to apply all this, taking into account the individual and cultural characteristics of the client.

In conclusion, I would like to note that the success of psychological counseling is achieved by the plurality and genre-style non-specificity of the languages of consultative interaction.

Counseling stage	Techniques and techniques used in counseling
1. Establishment of a consultative contact	Contact techniques. Conversation techniques
2. Multimodal problem definition
3. Desired changes	Techniques for conducting a conversation (reflexive listening techniques: asking questions, clarifying, paraphrasing, clarifying, reflecting and clarifying feelings, generalization, etc.)
4. Alternative ways to solve the problem.	Techniques for conducting a conversation (techniques of reflective listening: asking questions, clarifying, paraphrasing, clarifying, reflecting, etc.). Influence techniques (self-disclosure, confrontation, directives)
5. Search for resources	Techniques for conducting a conversation (techniques of reflective listening: asking questions, clarifying, paraphrasing, clarifying, reflecting, etc.).
6. Environmental test	Techniques for conducting a conversation (generalization, summarizing, etc.)

Types of questions and their use in psychological counseling. Basic Counseling Principles Attentive Counseling Techniques

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