All books about: “Yaroslav Samoilov’s path…. Yaroslav Samoilov is a relationship specialist with no professional education. The sky never gets darker Stella Whitelaw

My dear, now I will ask you to think carefully and answer me one question: what is more important to you - marriage or happiness? Do you think they are required to be included? “He proposed to me, but we’ve only been dating for a month!” Satisfied Katya shows off her new ring to her friends, takes a long time to choose “that” dress, gets married and... […]

You registered on a dating site: you chose the most beautiful photo, carefully filled out the form and - oh, a miracle! HE wrote to you. And now you don’t let go of your smartphone and look forward to every message. It’s just that things don’t go beyond correspondence. The man does not offer to meet in person, but your hints and suggestions diligently freeze him. Why is that […]

Are you sitting in splendid isolation, not answering calls and texts, thoughtfully sipping cold tea and doubting whether you should forgive him? Well, admit it, after all, thoughts appear in your sweet head that you need to have pride, a man is not worthy of you, and in general, tomorrow you will find yourself a hundred more of them? My dear, let's be honest: your decision will depend on [...]

Hi dear! Today we will talk to you about weak men and strong women. But before we start this serious conversation, I want to introduce you to someone. Meet Sveta. Sveta is 32 years old. She climbs the corporate ladder, tapping the beat with the heels of her Louboutins. The same real ones, with red soles and a signature signature. All without [...]

Evening. Room. Young woman. Wine. She lies on the bed and looks at the ceiling. A volume of Brodsky is lying mindlessly nearby. Another Netflix series is playing in the background. - No, well, this is completely unfair. Am I ugly? Beautiful. Not smart enough? But no, nature didn’t deprive us of this either. Why am I still single then? Friends from school […]

What to do if your heart demands change, but not from you, but from another person? How can you communicate your needs to him in such a way that he will take your comments into account and not send you to hell? After all, few people like to listen to lectures. This article will be relevant to those who are currently in a long-term relationship or want […]

And again I welcome you to the pages of the blog that I, Yaroslav Samoilov, I lead to make your life (and many other women) better.

Today I want to talk about how to save a relationship that is on the verge of collapse.

Let me clarify right away that there will not be the usual variety of advice that is usually replete with article sites of dubious quality.

We will consider just one emotional-logical phenomenon (but in different aspects). It's about gratitude and how to use it to restore relationships.

Gratitude is one of the few ways to express your feelings that brings positive emotions to both participants in the dialogue.

When you need to improve family relationships (with your husband or just your partner), gratitude can be the key to eliminating most troubles.

But there is one condition - this practice must become a permanent integral part of your life. If you come back to it only when you need it, it won't work.

Do you want to save your relationship? Learn to be grateful!

There is quite a bit of research that shows how practicing gratitude improves health, emotional well-being, happiness and stronger relationships.

For example, in one of these studies, the assessment of an indicator calculated as the ratio of positive and negative aspects in a couple’s relationship was taken as a basis.

For successful couples, the daily ratio of positive to negative emotions was 5:1 when things were not going well in the relationship, and 20:1 when things were going well.

But couples who were headed for divorce had a stable ratio of 1:1 (for some it was 1:2 and even worse).

How to achieve good results in this regard? Is it possible to restore a relationship in which there are almost no old feelings left?

Of course it is possible.

The secret lies in taking into account each other's smallest actions and focusing on the positive.

For example, when your man sends an SMS during the day like “I miss you,” you shouldn’t ignore it or send an angry “Don’t bother me, I’m at work!”

In response, it is advisable to send: “I miss you too!” Even if you are really very busy at that moment.

Or here’s another example: when he comes in the evening half an hour later than the promised time, what do you do?

Will you criticize his dedication to work and inability to keep his promise to be on time for dinner?

Or will you sympathize with his workload and massage his tired shoulders?

Criticism or support? Each such choice counts!

The fact is that the human brain remembers bad things much easier. That's why it's so easy to criticize and complain, and why it's so hard to find the strength to notice something good in your partner's actions and praise him for it.

This is why gratitude takes practice.

If you make it an integral part of your life, you can even save a relationship that is rolling head over heels down a mountain at great speed and is about to crash into an oncoming rock.

Learning to see the positives in any situation and being grateful for them will allow you to experience more happiness and thereby restore your family relationships.

When a relationship is spiraling down a path of negativity, or when you feel like the spark that keeps it going is about to fade, then this is a good time to start incorporating the practice of gratitude and positivity into your life.

And here's where to start

Start by keeping a journal of positive moments.

If you want to restore your relationship with a man when the former fervor of passion has faded, start with a simple first step.

Keep a diary in which you need to enter at least three items every day describing moments in the relationship in which you both felt good or for which you were grateful.

Maybe it was a long conversation about your common favorite TV series, during which you discussed the events of the last episode and jointly worried about the fate of the main character.

Or maybe your man brought flowers home and gave them to you for no apparent reason.

It doesn't matter what it was. Just write down everything positive that happens to you. By the way, you don’t have to write it down literally – on paper. You can just remember.

Add even more positive aspects

To improve family relationships, make it a rule to use a certain amount of positive comments in your conversations.

This could be an expression of gratitude for something, even for very insignificant little things - washing the dishes, vacuuming the apartment, etc.

Or a reminder of pleasant shared moments from the past.

In general, it is not particularly important how exactly a positive attitude is created, the main thing is that it exists.

Be sincere

There's no point in pretending to be grateful for something. First of all, it's easy to figure out.

Well, secondly, since you want to restore the relationship, there is no place for hypocrisy in these attempts. Otherwise, you shouldn’t even try to do anything in this direction.

Be more specific

Vague expressions like “I love our room so much after cleaning it” are not the best way to thank a man for his efforts.

It’s better to be more specific and point out the importance of his actions: “Thank you for cleaning up. You helped me a lot. I myself would not have been able to reach the chandelier, which, thanks to you, now simply shines.”

Rewire your brain

If you want to restore your relationship with a man, you will have to practice a little.

You need to spend at least three minutes a day (or one minute three times a day) practicing gratitude. The course must be at least 45 consecutive days.

This way you can easily develop a positive attitude that will help restore family relationships to the desired state.

But this should be taken seriously. If you miss even one day, you shouldn’t complain that nothing worked out.

If you miss a day, you start all over again. And so on until you can complete the entire course.

Here's what to do.

Highlight the positive aspects of the relationship and your partner that you currently have. Try to trace the chain of results to which these moments lead.

For example, think about how selflessly your man works every day to provide for his family.

In the morning, when he leaves for work, hold in your imagination the image of your loved one as a breadwinner and mentally thank him for this.

Then follow the chain from “breadwinner” to “prosperity bringer” to “problem solver” to feel even more grateful to him for this.

Look for similar moments in your relationships (even the smallest ones) and practice daily.

Over time, a positive attitude will come first and you will begin to sincerely thank fate for having such a man.

A few parting words

If you can begin to focus solely on your partner's positive qualities and actions through the gratitude practice described above, it will help you begin to enjoy each other's company again and not only restore the relationship, but also reignite the spark in it, while keeping it from burning out again.

Well, before you finally decide whether the described method is right for you, think about this.

What do you prefer? Coming home and seeing the smiling face of your lover in front of you? Or a gloomy, dissatisfied, sour expression?

Which option do you think best fits the concept of “in the mood for sex”? But returning passion to family relationships is no less important than a positive attitude.

Despite the disappointments in life, you can choose what to focus on - the good or the bad.

After all, as you know, we are all the architects of our own happiness.

Focus on the positive and you will see how much happier your relationship will be. Remember that the practice of gratitude is your best ally to restore your relationship with a man and protect yourself from making mistakes that led to this in the future.

You and your boyfriend broke up. You cried in bed for a week, went on a spree with your friends for two weeks, and after a month of depression, you made an appointment with a psychotherapist. I spent three months intensively working on myself, began to smile, and even accepted invitations for coffee. But, as if according to the law of meanness: only in your life did everything start to get better - [...]

Anna, a participant in the online course “The Way of a Woman,” says:

What happened to me? Some time ago, I realized that I could no longer live in the “suit” that I wore before. I realized that I was tired. I’m tired of being an Airborne Forces woman and again I want to become an angel girl, like once upon a time...

I started working on myself. The work, of course, is difficult, because I had to “break” myself, my principles, my established independence and independence!

Of course, I alone would not have been able to work through my problems so deeply and correctly: Yaroslav Samoilov and his excellent course “The Way of a Woman,” as well as his team: the wonderful Allas, helped me with this!

Before the course, I had a lot of experience behind me: a long happy marriage that ended in divorce due to infidelity, a period of loneliness, a period of relationships that brought me neither happiness nor pleasure (where I became hardened and became that very woman of the Airborne Forces).

There were also real relationships that gave me two wonderful sons, but for some reason did not make me happier...

At 39 years old, I began to look like an exhausted woman who is always dissatisfied with everything, and all because an Old Woman settled inside me... What kind of happiness, love, joy is there when you have to “squeak” about everything.

My manicurist told me about Yaroslav Samoilov - kindness and love to her. I watched several videos onYoutubeand realized that I had met exactly the team that could help me - before that, I had unsuccessfully typed in a query into a search engine: “the best family psychologist in Tyumen.”

To be honest, I have always been skeptical about coaches and training, and even more so via the Internet. But I still decided to try to expel the “grandmother” and return my “angel”...

Now I understand: the main thing is trust and the desire for self-development! There is a huge gap between me now and the woman I was a month and a half ago! I'm still on my way, of course, but...

I feel my transformation: both internal and external! I became “lighter”, calmer, I stopped living in tension, and most importantly, I finally fell in love with myself! I realized that I am the one and only – me!

My men also feel my changes: my husband and two sons! Only now I realized that a happy woman has a happy whole family!

The most important thing that a woman needs and needs is self-love! Thanks again to Yaroslav Samoilov and his team, I hope to continue!

P.S.: Thanks to my manicurist Natasha for recommending Yaroslav Samoilov and the free online course “Man: Honest Instructions” to me!

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